#so I'm still thinking of ways to make it work that aren't excessively complicated I mean look at this wall of text

[cipheramnesia]

Probably the most heartbreaking thing about my big all any queer gendery wendery sexery wexery donations post is how many people put "i don't know if i count" somewhere in their reblog. I'm just... like, of course you count, ya always count, c'mere lemme hug you.

[geminicollisionworks]

Question! I’m having a moment of lost in fandom Life with Althaar and I forgot what characters are canonically queer, would y’all be able to tell me which ones are? I think John B was bi but I can’t remember is that was my own HC

Thank you amazing creators!!

No problem and thank YOU! Pardon the excessive answer but I wanted a few things clear and public...

John B is definitely bi, as has been obliquely yet firmly acknowledged a couple of times -- though Berit has some opinions on the accuracy of that or any other defined label in the landscape of Althaar. I think the only other character whose sexuality has been clearly mentioned as non-het was the odious Beaux Several -- but that's a bit complicated as while they chose to present as a cis male Human on the Fairgrounds, "he" was an alien shapeshifter, whose gender/sexuality probably can't be defined in our current terms. There are other background mentions -- the mothers of sisters Amber on the Bridge? and Ashlee! in Hydroponics; John B's friend who joined a polycule of farmers...

So... why not more?

Well, as far as we're concerned, there are more than what has, and will ever, be confirmed in the show. As Berit says, "we will NEVER make any character in the show canonically straight." And we have a hard time believing that most of our characters on the Fairgrounds -- those who have any interest in romance or sexuality -- have not been involved in non-het, hell, non-same-species affairs. As Berit puts it, "in a world where alienfucking is a thing, what specific flavors of Human anyone is into is hardly worthy of comment." Even the definitely "provincial" John B (as H.F. pretty accurately calls him) is not cishet, or hung-up.

The Althaariverse and Fairgrounds are very clearly by no means a Utopia. Great Jones, no! However, there are some happy advances on where Humans stand in the 21st Century, and the fading away of just about any sense of sex/gender binary or labelling of any kind is one of those. The irony being that as it is no longer worth mentioning to the characters, it doesn't get mentioned on the show. But we know. And we hope you do too.

One of the glories of the audio medium is in leaving space for the audience's minds to wander and finish the creation in their own ways. To do that, we can be specific in our minds but ambiguous in the show, so that even when things are unspoken, they are consistent. There's lots we know that will never come out on the show -- why Althaar chose masculine pronouns to refer to himself (a definite, not-entirely-informed choice, equally accurate and not); which two regular characters had a brief "offscreen" relationship that NO ONE would ever mention, least of all them, but still effects how they are written and played. And we aren't being coy or planning on pulling some kind of "[character] was GAY all the time!" retcon bullshit later on. We just prefer to build the world this way -- there's Canon, there's Lore, and there's Flavor; Life With Althaar works most of all to be flavorful.

Berit -- the Queer member of our partnership and marriage -- notes that they basically have an internal subroutine going in their head when they do the last edit of each script: "how can I de-heterosexualize this? and does this have to be a dude?" I (Ian), the big ol' cishet white guy in the marriage, who worries about whether he's doing enough for representation, keeps dropping in really obvious diversity mentions that Berit removes in the edit, saying (accurately) that I'm dragging it in by the ass and no one would actually bring these things up realistically in the dialogue of the Althaariverse.

So in the end, the real final cut is your individual headcanon, which is, as audience for Althaar, about as valid as our own. And we love to see the variants that others bring to it. Enjoy our creation; enjoy your own that spring from it.

[yourtoradorasextendedwarranty]

If people aren't mad at pride products, then how do you explain the Kid Rock Bud Light situation? That wasn't even in June!

If people aren't mad that LGBT+ people exist, then explain the 2016 Orlando Nightclub Shooting! That was obviously a hatecrime!

Just because you feel the way you do doesn't negate the actual harm put on LGBT+.

You don't have to bend the knee to us, just don't pretend like this isn't happening constantly!

1. I never said there was not hate towards LGBT people. Not once. They're still very much is. But hate towards all groups does and will always exist no matter how small

2. The Bud light situation is complicated. Dylan M. Isn't trans. He's an amalgamation of trans trended, attention seeker, clout chaser, and narcissist. Created by TikTok no less. And he's frankly a mockery of LGBT people as a whole. As Bud Light is a beer that caters to conservatives yes, they got boycott. Not because Dylan's "trans" but because like my post stated normies are extremely tired of having it all shoved in their face. Dylan was an extreme case to those people because there is an actual movent of trans activists (not all of whom are trans) pushing people mindlessly into transitioning. With no barriers. No mental health help, just strait to CSH and surgeries. Add to that people being told they are not allowed to criticize it and yes you anger people.

3. So the shooting was interesting for 2 reasons. The first being this:

Which we know good well that Muslims hate gay people..... Correction. Must middle eastern Muslims hate gay people. Secondly, there was talk at the possibility he was deep closeted gay. And considering his religious background that makes sense. things from the article actually possibly lend credence to this. The first being that he was weirdly narcissistic. As in work out all the time and admire yourself in the mirror a lot. But something else his wife brought up was that he often got excessively angry at his name. Because to him the name sounded gay. Does that prove that man way gay? No. But combining those two things feels a lot like a homophobic gay man who can't come to terms with who he is. Much like the frat boy jock types you see whom get exceedingly angry over being called gay but have a tendency to do things that are in fact kinda gay. A lot of the time that level of anger is from internalized homophobia. Can I confirm that theory? No. It's it possible though? Yes.

4. Lastly, you might not be asking people to bow to you. But a large number of LGBT people are demanding others bow down and worship them. My post never said this was all our even most LGBT people. Just a very extreme and vocal minority who demand compliance and glorifying. I can't count the number of listicles, articles, posts etc, I see of "If you are straight, you support sexual violence" or, "Cis people are boring and why it's not ok to be cis" and TikToks of youths saying, "I'm sorry but if you're not LGBTQIA2+ you can be friends with me or my friends. Straight is overrated and needs to end because it's stupid straight people are bad and climate change is killing us. #NoMoreBabies." < This being one of the worst because kids are desperate to have the attention of their peers. And more desperate to fit in. If you tell them being trans or otherwise it's the only option they'll be trans. Because they are FAR too young to understand WHAT THAT MEANS.

Again. I don't think this stuff is all anti-lgbt hate. I think a lot of it is normies tired of having it pushed in their face. And again. You might not be the one doing it. But there are LGBT people on my post who agree that it's happening. So it's not an observation unique to me.

And this may piss you off, but LGBT people have been in a position of power and privilege for a number of years now. To a point many are legally and socially beyond criticism and consequence. And what was that saying neo progressives like so much? When you've been in a position of privilege, equality feels like oppression"? Hate will always exist. Always. Some will see it much more than others. But as a whole, the fact it's gotten to the point LGBT people can do sex acts in front of kids without reproach is proof enough of what I've said.

In closing, I'm not, not have I said, that LGBT people don't have hate geared towards them. Certainly they do. But in the West, LGBT are safer than in almost any other country. But media is going to media and politics are going to politic. If something can be perceived as a hate crime, certain political parties will run with it, and their allies in media will make sure it's global news. We have 300+ Mil People here. That considered, the amount of actual hate crimes are small. Which while still a bad thing, that number can not and never will be zero.

[secret-made-of-secret-sauce]

Good post OP. I want to testify a little bit as someone who's been dealing with OCD both medicated and unmedicated for years, so this will be a pretty detailed discussion of mental health, strap in or skip it, whatever you want:

Unmedicated, OCD to me felt like a lot of things: divine inspiration, divine retribution, stupidity, certainty that I was right without believing in my own logic, violent fears of things without purpose (the thing that triggered me to pursue treatment for WHATEVER THIS WAS was when I burst into tears after looking at a pair of scissors laying on the counter), reminding my friends and partner constantly what to do if their car falls into a river or in the event of natural disaster, thinking every time i crossed a bridge there might be an earthquake and taking off my jacket/excess clothes to "reduce drag weight if I fell in the water," that good stuff

I can't even remember a lot of the concrete feelings associated because I was so far out of my head that i couldn't recognize myself, there were just a lot of complicated rules i was following to get through every day. Some of those came from my family, some from superstition and ritual, some from myself, some from the internet or friends or elsewhere. Nothing felt like it was working and if they came into conflict i would lose my mind...

Now having done the medication, i have a lot more bones for myself to work with. - things aren't perfect but manageable. I still have vocal compulsions that vary in intensity, but can remember them once they've happened (i repeat "window window window" for example if something's gone wrong - why??). My mental compulsions are still present but again I'm aware of them which makes a huge difference, and I can recognize intrusive thoughts. I made a post earlier about how I hear them different - i process intrusive thoughts and compulsions linguistically, which I do with basically none of my other mental processes.

I can identify patterns better and have a memory for them, which was formerly nonexistent. I trust myself a little more (although it's a work in progress). I am so much more less change-averse as to feel like a different person in that way. Like, i still can't stand it if the couch is crooked or if there's floor clutter, but i can fix it myself without panicking most of the time and I'm no longer afraid of blades. I have a really hard time relying on others which leads to occasional interpersonal and work-related conflict. I have a much less obsessive and more wisdom-based relationship with my spirituality (I practice a brand of witchcraft in case any of you are like "oh this is religious trauma"- nah, I'm content).

I still have some specific phobias I'm working through and a lot of lingering self-distrust and self-esteem issues. But progress is, as always, being made :) OCD is a journey that's hard to work with because I'm always trying to keep honest to my principles and I'm unsure what those principles are or whether they're really mine. Also, medication did a lot for me - I don't know what other peoples' experiences are. But having faith in yourself and the people around you, as hard as it is, is really the way to go.

I'm having a good time living now - so i guess if you're reading this as someone with OCD, i am fine and have a job that I'm holding and i'm living with my partner of five years and things are okay, and it was pretty debilitating for me for a while.

I know it manifests different for everyone, but I'm sure it'll be fine.

Much love <3

thinking about how I've seen OCD get talked about now, but haven't really seen many posts that actually explain what it is. And like, obviously people shouldn't get all their info about mental conditions from posts, but u can't deny that internet communities and stuff play a major role in people recognizing and putting names to their own experiences.

But like since the general public has like absolutely no idea of what OCD actually is (no thanks to popular media), and a lot of things I see talking about intrusive thoughts don't mention OCD (either bc they originated in OCD circles or bc intrusive thoughts aren't Exclusive to OCD or for some other reason), there should prob be more explanation put out on what OCD actually consists of.

Which is kinda hard in some ways, bc there are so many ways OCD can present in terms of what "themes" a person experiences, so someone talking about what their themes are might not ring a bell with someone who experiences different ones. But like, the core thing with OCD isn't the presence of certain themes, it's a specific pattern of spiraling thoughts and reactions.

Like. OCD is a mental condition/illness where people experience stressful, unwanted, repetitive thoughts. These are intrusive thoughts are what make up the "obsessions" part of the disorder. In response to these intrusive thoughts, a lot of people will perform certain actions or think certain things in an attempt to neutralize or disprove the threat they represent. These are the "compulsions" part of the condition.

For a more "traditional" example, someone experiencing intrusive thoughts that they might catch a communicable disease may obsessively wash their hands or google their symptoms to try to lessen the anxiety. While someone who is worried they might hurt someone (even though they very much do not want to hurt someone) may avoid being near sharp objects or may avoid the people they're afraid of hurting.

One of the issues with OCD is that performing the compulsions provides short term relief, but in the long term it only strengthens the stress caused by the intrusive thoughts, thus furthering the thought spiral and actively making it worse, to the point where, depending on your themes, you may be (almost) convinced that your intrusive thoughts represent the truth or the inevitable or something permanent.

Intrusive thought themes cam be literally anything, but some of the common ones are stuff like

Questioning your sexuality, gender, etc (what if I'm actually straight/gay/bi/trans/cis/etc?)

Being worried about losing control and hurting yourself or others physically, sexually, emotionally, basically any way (what if I want to kill someone? What if I'm a pedophile? What if I'm an abuser? What if I want to stab myself? Etc)

Fear of becoming or being sick

Worrying something bad will happen to you or people you care about

Worrying about your spiritual beliefs or lack thereof (what if I'm actually Christian? What if I'm actually atheist? What if i don't believe in the faith i ascribe to? Etc)

Worrying about relationship status (what if I don't actually love them? What if they're not "the one"? What if they're cheating? What if *I'm* cheating? Etc)

What if I'm a bad person?

Fear of losing things

Fear of things not feeling right (this is often be related to other themes via magical thinking. ex: if I don't have my things organized Just Right then something bad will happen)

Fear of unreality

Compulsions vary by theme a lot obviously, but some common ones include

Hand washing

Organizing things until they Feel Right

Checking and double checking and triple checking to make sure you did something correctly

Obsessively reviewing your memories to disprove a thoughtor make sure you don't believe something

Arguing against the thoughts in an attempt to disprove them

Testing your mental reactions to a thought or to certain kinds of content, to show yourself you don't actually believe or feel something

Obsessively googling symptoms, testimonies, things related to your thoughts

Obsessive prayer

Repeating phrases, mantras, affirmations, etc in an attempt to make thoughts go away

Avoiding things and situations that set off your intrusive thoughts

Repeatedly asking for reassurance from others ("I'm not being xyz, right?")

But yeah this obviously isn't exhaustive but, just, if this kind of thing sounds familiar, you should probably do some research on OCD, bc while intrusive thoughts can occur with other conditions, the intrusive thought-compulsion spiral is the core of OCD and isn't really a subaspect of depression/anxiety/ptsd/etc. and the treatment and management of OCD can look different from other stuff, so its a good thing to look into.

(Also it's important to keep in mind, esp if you're someone that doesn't have it, that someone's intrusive thoughts Are Not "secret desires" or "repressed urges" or anything the person even remotely wants to act on. Someone having harm-related intrusive thoughts is not at risk of actually acting on them, no matter how worried they are of doing so.)

Anyway this was a long post and I don't have a neat way to wrap it up and also I accidentally added a poll and now can't get rid of it so here's free poll. I'm running on nyquil and a small amount of straight gin (which works very well at numbing a sore throat) rn gnite

[senilthesynth]

Copying this from Twitter because it ended up way longer than I intended lol. Anyways, here's what I'm replying to. Please know that I also think capitalism makes negative electric prices a bad thing, but, well...

https://twitter.com/AlanRMacLeod/status/1677081236991516672

begging these people to understand there's a lot more nuance here than anyone is presenting.

Dirt cheap electric prices, from a generation perspective, can mean that production is far outstripping demand. This might be OK in any other industry but it DOES NOT WORK here! The short and sweet version is "We don't have nearly enough energy storage to absorb how inconsistently solar/wind generate power."

The longer version starts with "The grid works best when generation = consumption, and too much of either fucks with the grid."

Not joking on that by the way, we have to measure the grid frequency to the thousandths because shifts in demand really do fuck with grid frequency. Too much generation and it creeps up, too little and it sags. A Reminder: The North American electric system is built to 60 Hz now.

This power regulation is currently best done with fossil fuel plants - they can spin up and down pretty freely, so long as they have fuel. It takes energy to do, so it's not like you want them turning on and off all day.

Solar and wind add a problem, though: you can't exactly regulate their output in any meaningful way. Fossil fuels you can just burn less, dams you can run less water through, nuclear you can try to turn down (they're best at base power though so you generally don't wanna do this). But solar and wind? Well, outside of straight up disconnecting them from the grid, there isn't much you can do. But that's energy to use!

This, annoyingly, causes some problems. Easiest to recognize is that these generation spikes mean you need to spin other stuff down more. Second is that you don't get a choice in that matter. The grid cannot, by itself, store power. Excess power will find a way to get back to its source, and that can cause real problems. You use it or lose it here.

But... what if we could offset the peak generation to peak demand?

Energy storage is, of course, the answer to this problem. Figure out how much energy you'll need for whatever reasons, and then figure out how you're gonna do that. Currently, there are two working ways to do that. Batteries, and pumped hydro. A third is a work in progress.

Batteries are great because there are no moving parts involved, the main complications being that Now You Have To Deal With Batteries. Which isn't easy, but we can do it. Their big problem? They're nowhere near energy dense enough for grid scales. Especially safer chemistries.

The current (and really long term hotness) in grid-scale energy storage is pumped hydro. Take a couple conveniently located lakes*, run tubes between them, and you've got energy stored in the potential energy of all that water!

*not required but it means less terraforming.

They're so simple it's almost stupid. Let water run down the pipes to turbines when energy is needed, then pump it back up when it's not. Sure there's more working parts, but the only new thing is the pump system. Everything else is just dam stuff. Why don't we build dams with pumped hydro? Honestly a lot of them could make it work, at least somewhat, but you need a pretty sizable height difference to maximize on the energy stored & generated.

Remember that I brought up trying to avoid terraforming? To make new systems cheaper and easier to install, you really really want the "conveniently placed lakes" or similar so you're not needing to dig up a lake yourself. Those lakes aren't exactly a common sight y'know. There's been a lot of work on using cranes holding concrete blocks to store potential energy that way, but the work is still ongoing last I heard. Big Problem to solve there is that, y'know, those blocks might crack and break if the crane isn't gentle with them.

anyways where was I? Oh right. Renewables make grid management more annoying and we need to store all the energy they make so they're actually useful. Batteries are, IMO, totally fine for on-premise & microgrid needs. Neighborhood operations would work alright too. Gravitational storage is either difficult to set up if it isn't the perfect spot (pumped hydro) or still actively being researched to see if it's actually viable (cranes & blocks).

So... where does that leave us with our problem?

Well, batteries might be enough to offset generation by a few hours so that there's a better baseline when everyone comes home from work. Cooking, heating/cooling homes, etc. are pretty predictable demand increases. But what if renewable generation is so good that it's filled up our demand shifting batteries? That's a really big problem, one that we don't have a solid answer for. Pumped hydro is a big deal but it's not as trivial as batteries to install. Cranes still have problems too. We don't want to waste energy from renewables - every megawatt we can store from renewables means a megawatt less of on-demand fossil fuel power. To be all in on renewables means being all in on energy storage. In my opinion, there is no way to separate them.

We need storage.

It also means giving engineers and constructors some time to get these projects up and running so the grid can really handle the inconsistent power generation of renewables. Which, however much I hate to say it, means letting us use on-demand fossil fuels while we get to work. We need more nuclear to replace the base power fossil fuel plants. We need more storage so every megawatt of surplus can be used later. We need a grid that is smart enough to juggle this daunting task.

And we need it all yesterday. So the next best time is to start now.

[the-ghost-king]

Schizophrenic Nico, here's why I think it's possible:

I want to start off by saying these are just my thoughts, there is no one way to be schizophrenic or to have schizophrenia. It's also important to note that many of the schizophrenic symptoms overlap with other mental illnesses/nuerodivergences like ADHD, Autism, Depression, and OCD which I know many people who head canon Nico as having. I'm not arguing schizophrenic Nico is more correct, more canon, or more right, but to explain some thoughts on why I think it's possible/very likely he does so I can use this for future reference in various thing.

I am using the term schizophrenia as a catchall for all "types" of schizophrenia, but not for schizoaffective disorder which I would say Nico probably doesn't have.

Children born in the winter/those who were "sickly" as babies are more likely to develop schizophrenia. It may also be possible if your mother was sick while pregnant with you, or having a father who was significantly older when he had you.

A stressful life, especially trauma, are more likely to develop schizophrenia or schizoaffective disorder. It likely has something to do with excessive dopamine production, but it may also have something to do with the same genes that control the sleep-wake cycle. Schizophrenia is more common with other mental illnesses or with other nuerodivergences or developmental delays.

Common symptoms include:

Hallucinations

Delusions

Disorganized thinking

lack of motivation

slow movement

change in sleep patterns

poor grooming or hygiene

changes in body language and emotions

less interest in social activities

Now what does this mean for Nico, and why do I think it's likely he has Schizophrenia?

Let's start with Nico's childhood, "children born in the winter/those who were "sickly" as babies are more likely to develop schizophrenia". Although Rick proposed two birthdays for Nico, the fandom generally accepted the January date more fully. We also know that Nico is described as small when he was younger, smallness is common in children who grow up sickly, but it is also common in children who's mother was ill while pregnant with them. We obviously don't know if Nico was sick as a kid, or if Maria was sick while pregnant with him, but again being born in the winter makes these things more likely, as well as consideration for the time period Nico grew up in and the larger variety of illnesses going around at the time. (He is vaccinated against some things though).

Trauma and Nico... do I really have to go into super detail on this one? He spent his childhood growing up in a fascist country that was extremely racist/anti-Semitic/homophobic/etc, his mom died when he was a child- in front of him, his father intentionally gave him amnesia, his sister died when he was a child, he then proceeded to become homeless living/spending lots of time with Minos who verbally (and possibly physically) abused him, becoming aware of his past memories, becoming aware of the fact that many people hated him because of his father and because they thought he was joining the other side (therefore, he was "bad"), he fought in many battles as a child, fought monsters alone, was often faced with life or death situations, went to Tartarus alone (where the goddess of misery told him he was "perfect"), was trapped in a hostage situation with little/no air for a long time while people debated whether or not to save him, was outed against his will, was freed only to travel again fighting monsters and then win a battle, was eventually made to quest with Apollo despite still having lots of healing to do in ToN. So stressful life? Fuck yeah, that doesn't being to cover it.

Genetic factors, obviously nothing here is confirmed so I'm speculating a little bit again, but the common idea in regards to Hades children through the series is that they are "bad". Mental illnesses have been stigmatized for hundreds, if not thousands of years, and often mentally ill people were made out to be weird/bad/etc. It's more than possible there is some sort of genetic factor taking place, also "having a father who was significantly older when he had you". Although I doubt godly genes work the same as mortal ones (trust me I have lots of thoughts on how god genetics/DNA work, but that's not the point right now), I think Hades being the oldest out of all his brothers and having a reputation for having "questionable" children says something... We have no information on Maria's family history at all.

As for schizophrenia often occurring with other mental illnesses and/or neurodivergences: Nico canonically is implied to have either ADHD and/or Autism, and is canonically stated to have PTSD. I think most people would agree that saying Nico has or has had depression isn't a stretch in the slightest.

So canonically we can all agree Nico has severe trauma and coinciding mental health issues/neurodivergences, so out of 4 possible issues I’ve first presented we guaranteeably have two. If I wanted to stretch this a little I would give myself a half point for him being born in the winter and a half point for the aspect of Hades genetics but I won’t do that.

On top of that schizophrenia usually appears during teenage and young adult years in people who receive diagnosis; most people live with mental illness for a few months or a few years in some cases before they're able to receive a diagnosis. Nico being 15 (16 by the end of ToN/shortly following the end of ToN) is about the age that schizophrenia would start to make an appearance. It's also more likely to be found in men, with men also noticing the appearance of schizophrenia appearing early in their lives, and experiencing more negative symptoms in comparison to the higher commonality of affective symptoms in women. That's a really complicated explanation to basically say there's 3 more things that would make Nico having schizophrenia make more sense.

Alright, let’s go back to the list of symptoms I provided:

Hallucinations

Delusions

Disorganized thinking

lack of motivation

slow movement

change in sleep patterns

poor grooming or hygiene

changes in body language and emotions/behavior

less interest in social activities

Once again, some of these are not solely related to schizophrenia and can be the result of other mental health issues, I’m just going to go down the list and add in some moments from the books in which Nico shows some of these traits/behaviors.

Delusions/Hallucinations (more later)

Our best chances for understanding Nico's thought process is in Blood of Olympus where he has a P.O.V... Sometimes Nico's thoughts do derail, or sometimes they get a little confusing, but not always, and when talking to others he is consistent and aware of what he's saying, as well as blunt. Anything "off" about his thought patterns to me just seems like ADHD..

Dietary changes (whether or not you think he has an eating disorder) are behavioral changes (I personally think Nico has AFRID)

Within House of Hades Nico's poor sleep patterns are constantly referenced, and I'll give him a pass on poor hygiene because he's in the middle of a quest but still..

I have extremely complicated feelings on what Will says here, it's possible Nico is an extremely unreliable narrator (unlikely, it seems many people are bothered by him and only maybe a handful aren't), I've also thought at many points this was Rick trying to backtrack some stuff with Nico because he realized he'd made his story a little too harsh for a kids book, it could also be Will's trauma kicking in and that happening... I'm not counting it as full proof about Nico disliking social interactions, but Nico does try to leave even after this conversation and isn't convinced to stay until the last chapter, so maybe there's something to be said about people's dislike of him for being a Hades kid- but I think it's fair to say Nico also dislikes people at least some because he doesn't have interest in trying to befriend anyone either, and is quick to assume all people dislike him (paranoia/low self esteem/and some other possible stuff). There's lots of discussions to be had about this quote and other similar ones, and I don't think a broad brush approach of "Nico good everyone else bad" is accurate it's more, "Nico is good but he fails to try and you have to work on your own mental health everyone won just go to you, and also people dislike Nico for silly reasons and need to get over themselves and make an effort too". (I'm extremely oversimplifying my thoughts and feelings to keep it brief.)

More on delusions and hallucinations:

Now I want to state that lots of schizophrenia symptoms share a lot of commonalities with ADHD and with depression, so although I might include some moments you think are just ADHD/depression I wouldn’t necessarily disagree with you but they could also be schizophrenia or coexisting mental health issues/divergences. I also went through the DSM-5 for schizophrenia (the DSM-5 is just this big book with lists and it’s how doctors diagnose any mental health issue/divergence), I also looked through the DSM-IV (an older book from before DSM-5 which is no longer really used) and the differences between the diagnosis was fairly minimal but they quit categorizing types of schizophrenia and instead rely more on a couple of word descriptions that seem more in line with a spectrum rather than a checkable box.

In order to receive a schizophrenia diagnosis, two (or more) of the following, each present for a significant portion of time during a 1-month period (or less if successfully treated), and at least one of these symptoms must be (1), (2), or (3):

Delusions

Hallucinations

Disorganized speech (frequent derailment or incoherence)

Grossly disorganized or catatonic behavior

Negative symptoms (i.e., diminished emotional expression or avolition).

It’s important to note that only one of these need to be checked off/true if the patient has voices which narrate their actions/behaviors/thoughts or if the person has more than one voice conversing with each other.

Nico deals with auditory hallucinations (2), he believes the voice belongs to Bob, his titan friend he left in Tartarus:

However this isn’t and immediate diagnosis because Bob’s voice doesn’t talk to another voice(s) in Nico’s head, and we don’t know if Nico has voices running commentary on his behaviors/thoughts.

The reason I state we are unaware if Nico has commentary isn’t because Nico hasn’t said anything, but because many people with schizophrenia before their diagnosis believe the narrative voices are just their thoughts and are a normal internal monologue- usually patients don’t realize anything is wrong until the voices start providing commentary on their actions so instead of “washing the dishes now” the voice(s) might say “wash the dishes now, you’re so lazy you can’t do anything, idiot” during a period of psychosis which may help them acknowledge that the voice(s) isn’t the way most people experience internal voice(s). It is very possible Nico is unaware he is experiencing narrative thoughts and simply assumes that his experience is something most people have, but I won’t use this to argue my point because it’s not confirmation of anything.

Returning now to Bob, Nico knows he is hearing Bob’s voice but he believes Bob is calling to him from Tartarus. Now, Nico says the voices are calling to him from Tartarus but there’s no confirmation of this anywhere… What I think is happening is Nico has a guilty conscience. He feels bad for “using” Bob to get out of Tartarus and various other things, so he feels bad that he is still down there. However, we don’t really know if Bob is calling to him or if Bob is able to do that- what I personally think is happening here is Nico’s brain is convincing Nico that Bob needs him because Nico is upset with himself for not helping Bob more, but also because Nico has never “sat still” before without a quest. Nico has also always felt the want to be needed/important...

It very well could be a delusion.

Schizophrenic patients often experience delusions which make them think they are destined for greatness, or that they have some divine/high force calling out to them for help that only they can provide. It’s an extremely common thing in individuals who experience delusions, and is in fact one of the most common delusions experienced. So although Bob could really be calling out to Nico, I don’t think he is, it doesn’t entirely make sense and there’s lots of little things which point to it being not entirely real- like the fact that nobody else knows about it? Or how absolutely sure Nico is that he need to return to Tartarus? It seems like a mixture of PTSD, delusions, and trauma response (returning to the trauma), working against him. I’ll say delusion is very likely (1).

Using these two factors alone there’s sufficient evidence for diagnosis, but let’s keep going just to see.

For disorganized speech (3) this isn’t something Nico seems to struggle with, and even if he did “derailing” could be ADHD or Autism, so I don’t think this symptom pertains to him.

Changes in behavior (4), seem to all be explainable via depression and/or PTSD- he has begun to express emotion again in Tower of Nero upon learning of Jason’s death he is said to be upset by Will and he walks off to be alone, seems like depression to me. Emotional/Behavior changes from schizophrenia tend to relate more to bipolar disorder rather than a depressive disorder, so I would say if Nico has schizophrenia he probably doesn’t have emotional or behavioral changes from it. If he did he might have some catatonic behavior, but this seems to be clearing up some in Tower of Nero so I’m not super sure on that, maybe during bad periods of psychosis behavioral changes occur, but I would lean more towards this isn’t a symptom Nico personally deals with. Negative symptoms (5) tie into this same idea, it’s possible it’s schizophrenia, but it’s more likely PTSD or depression at work.

So why do I care so much about the possibility of Nico being schizophrenic?

I feel like canonically/fanonically making Nico schizophrenic does a few things, firstly schizophrenic rep in media is extremely extremely awful- can you think off the top of your head of a schizophrenic character who isn't from a horror film/a murder/a villain in their own story? Maybe, but personally I can only think of one which is Charlie from Perks of Being a Wallflower- and even then? That's not canon, it's only implied- and it might not even be true

Schizophrenic media representation always paints schizophrenic people as bad, scary, and evil, and although the horror genre is extremely well known for being super ableist, transphobic, racist, homophobic, and misogynistic (just the final cherry on top) having one of the first- if not the first openly confirmed schizophrenic characters in children's media not only be someone who has lots of character development, and isn't a stereotype, but also be someone people have grown up with, cared for, and sympathized with- would be extremely monumental.

People with schizophrenia and other related disorders aren't something to be scared of or to think of as bad, and often times they're more bothered by whatever they're experiencing than you are.

I don't have schizophrenia or schizoaffective disorder or anything like that, but I have various undiagnosed mental health issues which often lead to me questioning reality, or having to set aside time to convince myself that no there isn't a man living in my wall... Having a character have to question those things, work through those feelings, and learn to trust themselves and care for themselves even with those difficulties would be really great to see in media, not just for people with schizophrenia but also for people with similar/related disorders who might share symptoms see parts of their own struggles in a good, educative way.

I have to finish this in two parts because tumblr keeps breaking because there's too many words in my post lmao (2nd part here)

[shinaus]

Good afternoon, kitty cat. How are you? So, the good news is you boyfriend still has a job. The bad news is I don't think my superior got the memo about the excessive workload... Well, not much I can do about it. But anyway, what have you been up to? And what's this about crying over sensei? He's usually polite, don't tell me he was callous with you in any way. I'm currently cooking risotto for lunch, afterwards I'll be leaving the house to drive one of my neighbors and her grandchildren to get their shots. It makes me really happy that people around here trust me so much. It's not something I'd be able to tell them, but being my kitty cat I keep no secrets from you. Hopefully, even if heroes aren't completely working outside yet, I can be your hero in other ways. Unless you'd rather I watch? I don't doubt you can take out a few villains on your own but you know who to call in case you need a set of arms to catch you. Love - your Toshi 💜

baby! hi! good afternoon!

i'm glad to hear you at least still have a job to go to, although i do wish they would ease up a bit on the workload for you. even from the jump i can tell you work hard, you more than deserve the down time to relax and take a break! i've been doing pretty well, work has still been a bit complicated but that may end soon — i had basically spent a week handling emails (which i did enjoy doing) but was certainly not what i got the job to do hehe. this week should hopefully be better, i've been planning ahead on what to do during my breaks and after my shifts too so that i'm cutting down screen time.

there's no need to worry, nothing bad was said from your mentor! though it did make me realise how much he cares about you, and i felt glad you have such a positive influence. i'll be getting my second dose soon too, just make sure to drive safe when you take them! you're so sweet, for that you can get an extra kiss today if you so desire hehe. take care lovebug, as much as i am no damsel in distress i think you make a much better hero than i do. i love you 🤍

[wordsandrobots]

Thank you for answering! It was a joy to read, nothing less!

I'm absolutely there with you on the normality of the relationship, situated within the context of the show. That's something I feel very strongly about all the romances in IBO, and I love how it morphs into easy acceptance of poly and homosexual attraction. Simple, human affection, in all its forms, is the counterpoint to the horrors the series grapples with and I find that so, so affecting, the idea that what these characters want is just . . . unremarkable and is only complicated by the world they're living in. That's a really strong, important message for any work of fiction to include.

Likewise, the depth and nuances to the characters themselves. The fact Shino *does* dial his boisterousness to different levels for different people, the fact that Yamagi *isn't* a blushing violet and doesn't get tongue-tied as a rule -- like you said, it's a masterful bit of writing, to convey both the larger personalities and how those shift when these two are interacting, and what that means.

And . . . yeah, no, Shino *is* hot. More so for not being the kind of 'hot' that McGillis and Gaelio represent. There's so much baggage to their initial appearances, thrown into sharper relief by how Gaelio develops and the later revelations about McGillis' past. But on the other side you have Shino who is just . . . ordinarily handsome. Like how Yamagi's prettiness sits alongside how scrawny and even sickly he looks at times. There's a weight to designing a character to have jug ears and crooked teeth and still making him good-looking, as much for his expressiveness and lust for life as his bone structure.

Also, as a bi man, I feel Shino falls squarely into the 'yes but sometimes the stereotype isn't wrong' category, with a side of, 'yeah but it's done so well!' I think it helps that most of his excesses aren't treated as less macho than anyone else's. Even the pink paint -- I wouldn't expect the pink=girly association in a piece of Japanese media, but it's notable how Shino caring about this stuff isn't treated as 'unmanly' but rather as a chronic lack of taste. (Indeed, there's an argument to be made, based on the pirates and the Zan Clan, that it's mainly signifying a *lack of class*, which, well, duh.)

Everyone in Tekkadan carries little marks of self-hood, and Shino's just happen to straddle the line between 'flamboyant messing with gender assumptions' and 'standard teenage boy stuff absorbed from a sexist culture'. Again, the way that's treated as normal is so good! He's never criticised along that axis, any more than Yamagi is treated as lesser for being a non-combatant. Even if they are not performing equivalent actions, their jobs are treated as equally important, and they belong equally within their family.

Anyway, I could go on about this for days too, so I should probably stop and simply say thank you again for indulging me!

A question, if I may be so bold: what is it you like about Shino and Yamagi, as characters and as a pairing?

You've been in the fandom much longer than me and I'm curious what resonated with you about that relationship in particular, in the first place. (The curiosity is possibly motivated by having spent so long picking apart my own obsession with the show, I turn to wondering about others' enjoyment of it as a change of pace!)

Ohhh. I don't think I can answer these questions without giving a bit of backstory, so! I started watching the show on 16th of December 2015, around the time the first cour was finishing airing, just before the two-week winter break. I binged the first 13 episodes and the rest - as it aired. And even on that first watch, there were three pivotal scenes which made such strong impression on me I distinctly remember myself watching them, I remember my reaction.

The first scene was Shino pulling Yamagi out of the Mobile Worker during the first encounter with the Turbines (but of course). Essays could be written on that moment alone. It's just such a well crafted sequence, rising orchestral music perfectly timed with their clasping hands and Yamagi's reaction, his little gasp and a hand Shino grasped held to his heart. It definitaley raised an eyebrow, but most importantly, it set the tone for what Shino and Yamagi's narrative came to be: a collection of small, personal and intimate moments weaved into the grander narrative, very effectively showcasing personal stakes for the people involved in the fight. Of course everyone in Tekkadan has their own personal stakes, but what elevates Shino and Yamagi for me is how palpable was Yamagi's yearning, like his whole world depended on Shino's survival.

The second scene was Shino mourning his comrades after the Brewers fight. This scene floored me, it was as if a whole new emotional dimension to his character was torn open before me, and sucked me in immediately. I was instantly invested in this character. Murata's fantastic voice acting had a lot to do with that as well. Shino was cute before, if a bit loud, but all these new depths and layers!! Funeral Rites as a whole was a double whammy to me, stellar episode from beginning to end. And to top it off, it ends on Shino seeking Yamagi out to thank him. This is my third key moment, it solidified to me that whatever it is between Shino and Yamagi, is real and undeniably there. Yet another private scene loaded with tension and subtext. The dissonance between what the characters are feeling and what they're saying also added a whole different, poignant layer to the dynamic. Shino just a few minutes ago demonstrated he is a character of some considerable heft, but now he's also showing how considerate he is, that he values and acknowledges any act of kindness he's awarded and it's directed at Yamagi personally! In private! He made it so, so easy to become invested on Yamagi's behalf. I became obsessed within a span of few days, and from then on, my pathological attachment to them was being forged through months and months of pain and fearful anticipation.

Didn't help that it's such a smartly written relationship, nuanced, subtle. I think the fact that they are not the main characters helped a lot in this case. It doesn't beat you over the head with overly dramatic gestures, the strength of that relationship lays in how normal and relatable it is. It's just two boys, one has a crush, the other is oblivious, but not hopelessly so. I really wanted this for Yamagi, and I wanted the sunny boy to survive, I wanted them to defeat the odds. I was always aware all the necessary components for an effective tragedy were already there, but I dared to hope! Paradoxically, the more obvious the looming tragedy, the more I deluded myself it can be avoided because it's too obvious. Needless to say I got burned so badly I don't think I'll ever hope for anything ever again. I'm still hurting. I still think it was a colossal waste of a beautifully established queer romance. It could've been historic. Making fanworks for them is how I cope, and I think I'm going to be coping for a long while yet.

Apart from all the above, their interactions are just so great! They're filled with warmth, but also some bite. Yamagi is head over heels in love with Shino but he's not oblivious to his faults, he gives banter and push back. Sometimes he forces Shino to confront realities he'd rather avoid. They are a good match because their contrasting personalities are not so much at odds with each other but rather they compliment one another. And it's by design because, just like Mika and Orga, the two were designed around each other since the beginning. Shino is the Sun, Yamagi is the Moon. Much like Shino needs (and enjoys) Yamagi to discipline him at times and bring some sense into him, Yamagi needs Shino's energy to push himself beyond his self imposed limitations. The CD drama showcases this aspect really well, imo. I love that Yamagi's presence forces Shino to go a couple levels of intensity lower, so he can meet Yamagi where he's at, and that's where we see the real tenderness in Shino come out. Also because their scenes often just happen to involve physical contact of some sort, that in itself generates a lot of great chemistry. Now, most of that comes from Shino just being the guy with no sense of personal space, but it's also more opportunity to show how different is the touch he has for Yamagi and the other guys. Because Yamagi is not just "one of the guys" and never has been. I guess in Shino's mind Yamagi has his own category. He's so protective of him, and looks at him with such fondness. It's his own, patented "looking at the one I want to protect" type of smile. It's such a mutually uplifting relationship. I'll die on the hill that Yamagi triggered the resolution to Shino's character conflict, he is responsible for Shino's growth just like Shino is responsible for Yamagi's.

They're a solid unit and a great team, much like in personal life, their skills and capabilities compliment one another. I could go for an entire season of just this dynamic. I love me some back-to back buddies and I prefer the dynamic to be equal. Most my previous ships were that, though admittedly this is more of a Shino and Eugene's thing. "The one who waits, and the one who goes into action" is more of a traditional heteronormative ship dynamic, but I still love it because of how good Yamagi is at wrecking Shino's posturing. Yamagi demands to be Shino's equal, and he is. It's pretty much solidified between us that Shino is destined to be dragged by the dick by his sarky twink and honestly, more power to him.

When it comes to the characters themselves, looking back at my other anime blorbos, it's undeniable I have a type(s). Feels like I tend to gravitate toward either the sanguine or the sardonic, and nothing in between. Shino and Yamagi embody these traits to a T, albeit and in a more subdued fashion and maybe that contributes to me being so into them. Although they also carry unique emotional vulnerability that effectively breaks the trope. Shino is this larger than life, louder than life, unreasonable, bombastic man, but he is also the one with deep rooted insecurity and feelings of his own disposability. Yamagi is the stoic, sarcastic, sophisticated man in the making, yet he is the one with the all encompassing, melancholic infatuation. I adore Yamagi's entire character as a concept. He had my heart in a vice. I don't know how anybody can not feel for him. I think I've already said a lot about why Yamagi is so special to me above. He's this strong, uncompromising, loving soul trapped in a fragile body. Completely out of place for his surroundings but still capable enough to make himself indispensible. I honestly think he's cool! We cannot forget he drove a freaking train, jumped out of a moving vehicle, and climbed a mobile suit! It's like he can go from vulnerable to takes-no-piss attitude in a second. Like he's very cute and all, but he's also a bit of a bully. There is no extravagance in his looks and mannerisms (beside his fabulous hairstyle) and it's very refreshing to see in a gay anime character.

As for Shino, in general he seems like a character created with a lot of love. I think all in all, he's one of the most well crafted, multifaceted characters in the entire cast. I love all his little quirks and eccentricities. His free and unabashed expressions of emotion. The way the good and wholesome aspects of his personalty contrast with the reality of who he is, a trained soldier willing to kill for his cause. He's the character who shows this contrast within Tekkadan really well because of how vividly his jovial personality clashes with his circumstances, I think. I love juxtapositions like that within characters and Shino has those in spades. Most notably, the self-sacrificial undercurrent which manifetsts outwardly as him willing to take the protective role, no matter the cost. His lust for life and utter devotion to his family combined with the casual acceptance of his mortality give me chills. Or the mask of a horny goofball covering the more reflective bits of his nature. I like that he seems to be incapable of guile. Like he's so genuine and so utterly lost whenever he's witnessing the gang's scheming sessions. He's great with children, he's free of prejudice, he's a great caretaker and a rock solid support for his mates. And if I'm being honest, I was not at all surprised when he was revealed as bi, like maybe it's feeding into the stereotype, but I've personally always saw enough flamboyancy there for that to be a possibility. I think this doesn't just serve his romantc plotline, it also informs his character more broadly, in that his capacity for love is virtually endless. I just wish he was let out of the closet more openly and allowed to live his truth. Goddamn he deserved better.

Also he's just hot!! Excuse me, but how is Shino not the hottest guy in IBO? Like I realise he's not intended for the audience to be necessarily perceived as that, McGillis and Gaelio are obviously the intended heartthrobs, but it's no coincidence Shino demolished "most desirable" ranking within the small queer community I watched the show with, lmao. Have people seen his original character artwork by Yu? The dreamy eyes, full lips, lashes for days? That's Tekkadan's true pretty boy right there! It's weird because he's the hot and dangerous war-man, and my cute baby boy I want to protect with all my might at the same time. I cannot with these conflicting feelings :u

Anyway! I think I've rambled so much and it still doesn't feel like I even touched anything beyond the surface. Hope there's at least something to read there (-u-)v

[vaspider]

Advocating for means-tested solutions which require people to give up the ability to provide for themselves to receive it is advocating for people to starve. Full stop, end of story. There will be people who cannot afford to feed themselves but who are not eligible for SNAP for whatever reason, or who don't know the program exists, don't have internet access to apply, can't get to the single office in their county to apply, etc.

Anyone who advocates for an expansion of SNAP as an easy solution, and advocates for people to have to give up a means of providing for themselves, a) really doesn't understand the mindset of most of the people that I grew up with and b) has clearly never had to wrangle with SNAP or any other means-tested government safety net. A lot of rural folx really do not -- for good reason -- trust government interventions to not simply disappear. For good reason, I emphasize, because those interventions often disappear without warning. This has literally just happened, btw. Multiple states decided that the best way to "motivate" people to "get back to work" is to end extended unemployment months early - those benefits are funded through September, but multiple states cut them off in June.

And that's what people who would be eligible for this sort of support are used to - this Lucy-and-the-football sort of shenanigans. Benefits given and then snatched away, and if you can no longer hunt to supplement your food supply, well, you're well and truly fucked then!

Also like... the key word in SNAP is "supplemental." SNAP never is or was meant to provide for a person's full nutritional needs. At most, it's meant to provide for 3 weeks out of the month. So you still have a food need for that 4th week.

That's not even addressing the concept of rural food deserts, the excessive cost of food in rural areas due to transportation costs, the time and energy required to apply for and maintain means-tested benefits, the time and energy and transportation needs required to utilize SNAP benefits... like... you spend a day or two taking and dressing a deer and you've got meat for a while, as opposed to having to drive to get your benefits, drive to renew them, drive to use them.

The first time I had SNAP, 20 years ago, you couldn't apply online. I had to drive 45m from my house at the far end of the rural PA county where I lived, spend 2 hours waiting at the office, and then come back every 3-6 months to renew my benefits. It ended up taking an entire day. Thankfully I was a SAHM during that time, so I could devote entire days to renewing SNAP and WIC.

The last time I was on SNAP, in 2018, I had to drive paperwork down to the office and drop it off bc I didn't have a scanner at home. It was an hour round trip, not counting having to wait in the office. If I'd had to take public transportation, the minimum trip length would have been 4 hours due to multiple transfers needed.

All of this doesn't mean that expanded SNAP wouldn't be a good idea that would reduce rural hunger. That's a great idea! I'm all for it! Let's make the income limits higher, or just work towards UBI, which would solve a lot of problems!

But it isn't a simple solution, and speaking like "let's just make SNAP more, and then take ya guns" doesn't address a lot of the lived reality of rural people - justified distrust in the stability and long-term availability of programs, the fact that the amounts set by these programs don't and aren't currently intended to provide for full nutritional needs, the price difference between rural and urban markets, rural food deserts, cultural hunting practices (and I include white rural culture in there - it does exist!), the need for firearms for defense against wild animals/livestock management...

... and honestly, the disdain that a lot of urban people have for rural people really shows in these moments. The entire point of this post from the start is "shit is more complicated than you think, and if you don't know [something I consider a very basic part of my growing up] maybe don't make broad sweeping statements like 'nobody needs this', because when you do that, you aren't actually advancing the cause you claim to support. You are instead causing people whose life experiences are different to yours and whose needs are different from yours to shut down and stop listening to you."

A lot of people on this post have responded to that really thoughtfully, and then there are the people who look at rural people and see dumb hicks.

(Side note, I'd be really fascinated to see a carbon footprint analysis & nutritional analysis on a pound of hunted-in-season deer vs a pound of factory-farmed beef, and how that varies depending on location. I'm willing to bet there is much less carbon footprint difference where I grew up in rural PA vs, say, the Iron Range in MN, but I would be willing to bet the analysis comes out in favor of the hunted deer in most places. Anyone got any resources on that?)

I kind of feel like if you don't know what "the R rule" of hunting squirrels is, you shouldn't presume to know what subsistence hunters in American need or whether "take all guns away" is going to do something other than starve people.

(No one needs an AR-15 to hunt squirrels, that is not what I am saying, but for fuck's sake I am so tired of listening to people who have never lived in rural areas, eaten squirrels and venison, or even had friends who hunted for food and would have starved without hunting -- not even having hunted for their own food, just known people who did -- talk about how 'no one needs guns really, not even to hunt'. Last night I was thinking about that while talking to my wife, that this may just be another thing where I assume that people know that a lot of people in the US are subsistence hunters, a lot more than you think.)