#so I'm ignoring him for now. perhaps in perpetuity. i haven't decided which will hurt less. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

cuntwrap--supreme · 1 year ago

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The fucking audacity of this man to tell me he's never cared about me, then ignore me when I say that it was unfair to lie to me when I've clearly been in love with him for years, only to come back almost 2 months later asking me how work is. I can't do this shit. I'm too stressed as is. Too few spoons for my own day to day.

#leon bitches #I'm ignoring him until i can think of something to even say. if i ever do.#all i asked is clarity on what he wants from me because I've wanted nothing more than to worship at his altar for years #that i was the saddest most groveling mutt to ever be born and he was the hand providing sustainance to me #literally everything I've done since i met him was to try to impress him. every job. every achievement. just to get his attention.#and it was so fucking obvious that he has to be lying when he says he didn't notice #and he just thinks it's ok to ignore me when i ask tough questions. just ignore me and pick back up in a month #once I've had time to cool down or whatever #but i haven't cooled down. i can't.#he's hurt me so badly and so many times #and yet i continue to come back to him like the addict i am. and he's the drug.#i want nothing more than whatever scraps he can bother to toss my way. yet i know this will be my downfall.#my ultimate perdition #and i know i should wisen up and tell him to go fuck himself... but i can't bring myself to do so #because losing him is losing the person I've been for so long now. i don't know who i am without his influence..#if he had just wanted something physical he should have said so to begin with #I'm a pretty understanding person. i know how people work and some people just want to fuck. that's fine.#but instead he made it sound as if he wanted to date me. and then didn't talk to me for over 3 months.#this cycle has been going on for almost a year now. i can't even begin to guess at how many years the stress of it has sheared from my life #so I'm ignoring him for now. perhaps in perpetuity. i haven't decided which will hurt less.

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