#so I'm hoping to have it down to only 7 or less left by Halloween

[faydingrain]

I'll be updating the links beneath each Scaretober part at the end of the month btw

[punkscowardschampions]

Nancy & Rio

Nancy: Hey Rio: Hiya babe Rio: what's good? Nancy: I need to like Nancy: ugh idk it's such a bad idea, like I already know Rio: You wanna Thelma and Louise? Nancy: Who wouldn't want that much gay subtext Rio: Susan Saradon is a babe Rio: what's the actual drama then, shitty husbands and creeps at bars assumedly ain't it Nancy: Okay so you know how I have the misfortune of having to share a birthday, well, now he also wants me to do a joint party Nancy: except not Nancy: he wants my share of the guestlist cos he's gone over his own Rio: Seriously Rio: 🙄 Rio: Well that sounds like a nightmare Nancy: Right? Like I don't have to see enough of all his fuckboy friends already Rio: So you've actually got to be there Rio: that's so rude on so many levels Nancy: I might just leave once mum and dad do, it's not like they're gonna stay and chaperone all night Nancy: That's where you come in Nancy: Save my birthday from total ruin, yeah? Rio: They should, last party I went to the house was basically a write-off after Rio: What can I do, obviously I'll do it but catch me up Nancy: Oh Nancy: maybe they will and I will have to stay Nancy: But my original idea was more Thelma & Louise, naturally Nancy: You're the most fun person I know Nancy: and it is Halloween, there's gotta be something else on offer Rio: Yeah, you do live in one of the most exciting places in the world, nbd Rio: of course there's something more fun to do! Rio: I'll start looking now Nancy: You're actually the best ever Rio: N'awh, you're so cute 💖 Rio: see how quick you are with the compliments after I've saved you 😘 Nancy: 😉 Nancy: Who's immune to such blatant heroics? Nancy: If you save me from having to spend a minute at this party you can have anything you want Rio: 😳 Rio: Steady on Rio: I'm good, might not be THAT good Nancy: I was more thinking from my wardrobe Nancy: You're not really my type, cos of the whole related and straight thing Rio: Sure Rio: that whole thing Rio: not gonna turn down a tour of your latest purchases obvs Nancy: That sounds really flirty still but I'll go with the less awkward version of events Nancy: Things are weird enough with this party, like Rio: I can't help being this irresistible, babe Rio: but I won't say it's a date, just a plan Nancy: You're flirting with me but sure, we can both be irresistible, I guess Rio: I am not Rio: Straight and sharing DNA, remember Rio: you only got 1/2 so you're more suss Nancy: A lesbian remember? One convo and you're moving in Rio: 😂 Rio: Won't just do carry on then Rio: tah for the warning Nancy: You're so welcome Rio: Already gonna look so underdressed without being caught without 😱 Nancy: Um with full access to my wardrobe, not for long Nancy: Anything less than utter perfection is not an option if I have to show my face at the party for even half a second Nancy: I'm beyond prepared, and in case you can't tell, beyond STRESSED Rio: I caught that Rio: gurl you're gonna get stress spots if you don't tone it down Rio: you'll look 🔥 Rio: assume it's a costume party? Nancy: God, don't, the girls he invited would love that to happen to me Nancy: especially cos no, it's not Nancy: 🙄 Rio: Honestly, you had one job Rio: such an easy cop-out Nancy: He says no costume could make him look as hot as his labels, that's a paraphrase, I wasn't listening well enough to deliver a direct quote, sadly Rio: 🤢 Rio: Please don't try any harder to remember that was upsetting enough Rio: definitely find something better to do Nancy: Right? I literally get gayer every time he opens his mouth Rio: 😂 Rio: Not a choice but if it was, I get it Nancy: God was like, with him as a brother you've suffered enough Rio: Though it would be funny if you can find a man more unbearable Rio: he'd be fuming Nancy: My dad too Rio: Oh, the male posturing Rio: let me down, if no one else Rio: such a laugh Nancy: Maybe I should have turned this plan on its head and come to you to celebrate Nancy: Get away from it all Nancy: his friends are like clones and nobody thinks that's bizarre Nancy: like the girls are just 😍💘💋 Rio: Match their boys to their bags Rio: weird Rio: we should still do something special for you though Rio: it's your birthday as well, after-all Nancy: Yeah but I'm the weird one, okay then Nancy: It is but I don't feel as if I need to be all 🎉🎂👑 Nancy: He's got that covered Rio: Don't worry, I know your style Rio: and that it ain't his Nancy: He doesn't have any Rio: 🔥 Rio: ice that on the cake, babe Nancy: If ANYTHING was allowed to be homemade I would Rio: Can't imagine your Ma in a pinny, like Nancy: If my dad asked, then maybe Nancy: They are so gross but that's a convo to have in therapy one day Rio: Yeah, that is NOT my present to you Rio: lemme get qualified Nancy: What ARE you getting me though? Rio: No spoilers! Nancy: 😞😞😞 Rio: Surprises are fun Rio: don't be sad Nancy: Never in this house Nancy: But I trust in your gifting abilities Nancy: 🧡 Rio: And I'll bring over all the kids...interesting homemade attempts Rio: what more could you ask for? Nancy: Tell Junior he's so rude for refusing to get on a plane Nancy: It's not a phobia if you just don't want to Rio: Real talk Rio: ride or die until he's scared he'll end up at this party too Rio: bless Nancy: Like, I get it, I don't want to be in Chelsea either but I'd do it for him Rio: I ain't getting in the middle of gay drama Rio: I know better Rio: I could beg on your behalf but we both know, unlikely Nancy: Oh my god, you're not allowed to out him, even to me Nancy: It's a secret that we all know, okay Rio: 🤐 Rio: I do forget he's younger than us, like actually no pressure but also you know NONE of us are gonna be mad so Nancy: So problematic, you'd fit right in at the party actually Nancy: He's an adorable little old man Rio: 😱 Rio: 'Scuse me Rio: don't be starting beef with me, I'm coming Nancy: 😂 Rio: Literally so rude Rio: don't make me flip my hair at you Nancy: Babe please, I can do it better Nancy: Mine's so long now Rio: Alright showoff 😉 Rio: mine would be too if I straightened it Nancy: [sends a show offy hair flip clip but cute like look] Rio: Awh, you look so cute 🧡 Nancy: I look so 🥕 but I make it work Rio: straight 🔥 I swear Nancy: Okay but never use straight to refer to me, thanks Rio: Such a hater Nancy: Of men, exactly Nancy: You would be too if you went to our school though Rio: I can imagine Rio: tory central Nancy: Lord, it's like a timewarp of values but the levels of privilege have kept sky rocketing Nancy: The party's gonna be like Gatsby's except if the green light was shots and nudes Rio: Ahh the irony Rio: How do you stay even slightly sane/normal Nancy: I don't Nancy: They are the 'normal' ones and I'm obviously insane with grief about it Nancy: Oh please let me in your oh so exclusive club so I don't have to hang my head in shame Rio: nah, fuck that Rio: just the lunatics running the asylum Nancy: I hate it here so much Rio: Is there anyone vaguely decent you hang with? Nancy: No Rio: That's so crap Nancy: I'd rather have no friends than fake ones cos there's nobody real around Rio: I feel that too Rio: but its hard having to spend, what, 7 hours a day alone and surrounded by dickheads Rio: hope you're making your weekends worth it, yeah Nancy: I'd love it if they left me alone Nancy: That's what weekends are for, definitely Rio: Enough about those boring bitches anyway Rio: my mum wants to talk to yours, the usual, but they're cool with it so Rio: 👍 Nancy: I'll let her know when she comes in Rio: 🤞 she doesn't talk her ear off so hard she won't let me come like hell no, this fucking family Nancy: I can't even let that be a possibility Nancy: Do you want me to have a birthday breakdown, mum? Nancy: I don't think you have time in the schedule for that Rio: Hit her up with those birthday demands Rio: it's my party and I WILL cry if you don't do what I want, like Nancy: I don't wanna go there but if I have to, I will Rio: 👑 Rio: if there's ever a time to be a tiny bit of a diva Rio: I have to make a fuss or bitches will be tryna skip to Christmas like nah Nancy: That's so rude Nancy: To you and your dad Nancy: Also who in the hell wants to skip to Christmas? It's so stressful oh my god Nancy: Give me all the shopping days, thanks Rio: Seriously Rio: not a grinch or anything, gimme presents then too but come on Rio: attention is the best 🎁 for the eldest of 10, duh Nancy: Do you wanna be the joint guest of honor at this party instead of me? Nancy: As far as attention goes, you wouldn't get more unless you lock Buster in his room or something beforehand Rio: 😂 I know you're not identical but I don't think your ma would appreciate the insinuation that me and him are in any way twinning Nancy: You could wear a costume Nancy: He'd hate that as much as he'd hate sharing the spotlight even a little Rio: No shade but 0 lack of desire to white face Rio: but that's tempting, have I even got time to think of a decent costume though Rio: hmm Nancy: I can't lie, I'd be tempted if I was staying Rio: We so should Rio: maybe we'll need one for wherever we're going once you've made your joint wish or whatever the fuck Nancy: I'm with you on everything except I'm never blowing out candles with him for as long as I live Rio: Jokes, you definitely have enough 💸 for separate wishes Nancy: 🙏 Rio: This will be fun Rio: I'll send you details of anything that sounds good then Nancy: I'll send you any costume ideas I have, obvously Nancy: Thanks Ri Nancy: You seriously are the best Rio: Definitely Rio: and don't mention it, I had nothing good on anyway, this'll be way more fun than whatever lame party I was gonna be at Nancy: I feel like I definitely just complained about my life this entire convo Nancy: Which needs to be mentioned since I didn't even ask how you are or anything Nancy: Like, yeah that's gay culture but you know Rio: Nah, it's your bday, soon Rio: fully in support of that diva ish remember 👑 Rio: and same old same old here Rio: all good Nancy: Yeah? Nancy: Feels like forever since we've had a real life interaction Nancy: I'm glad you're coming Rio: It has been a while Rio: always feels like that since Schools in full swing and sucking the life outta us all like summer never happened Nancy: Unless you're Buster and school's your playground Nancy: I'm honestly surprised he isn't breaking in to have the party there since he loves it so much Rio: When you're gonna peak, gotta make the most, I guess 🤷 Nancy: I wish, you know he's just gonna keep doing better and better Nancy: Failure's not an option, like Rio: Not an option but a reality Rio: all well and good living that mantra and letting it take you as far as it can but I swear, real life is gonna hit him so hard, it won't be good Nancy: Maybe I took his share and mine, that'd be about right Nancy: I'll throw him a party for his mid life crisis though, of course Nancy: What are sister's for Rio: 😂 Can't wait to meet his hilariously age-inappropriate bae and pretend to give a shit about his sports car, like Nancy: I'll show up in mine like hey bro, older, hotter girlfriend in toe Rio: 🙌 Rio: Power moves Nancy: She can drive so I just get to pose even more extra when we turn up Rio: and you just want a driver, lbr 😜 Nancy: You'll thank me for not driving Nancy: The girlfriend who doesn't exist won't when I'm that distracting, though Rio: 😏 Rio: go off boo Nancy: If only that saying was true Nancy: about quiet ones Rio: can be Nancy: I can't even remember how it goes Rio: it's always yous, basically Rio: bit ominous Nancy: Oh Rio: Init Rio: Junie can't be convinced Rio: spent a solid 30 there trying Nancy: He's no longer my best friend, you are Nancy: Next time he wants to know how to let a girl down gently I'm not helping Rio: 💔 Rio: cold, I'll break that news to him gentle tho Rio: old times sake Nancy: My mum's just text me so I'll gently persuade her that you need to like, stay forever Nancy: Easy, obviously Rio: Obviously Rio: with your persuasion skills and her laidback attitude Rio: 😉 Nancy: She's in such a great mood too after another meeting with my form teacher who is himself convinced that Dyslexia only affects working class children Nancy: I tried to tell him that's the stock I'm bred from but he also believes that girls should be seen and not heard, like Rio: Ugh Rio: What a prick Rio: though not that surprised Rio: any issues and the royals hide their kids in asylums so Nancy: They only let girls in during the last century or whatever so he's far to old to have ever interacted with one Rio: Yeah, probs far too invested in the boys if the stereotypes keep ringing true Nancy: Gross but probably true Rio: Someone has to rub 'em down after rugger, babe Rio: 🤷 Nancy: Stop trying to trigger PTSD in me Rio: 😂 soz Rio: jus' sayin' silver lining you don't have to deal with the predatory masters, even if they at best tolerate your existens Nancy: Thank god, since I came out more lads have told me they fancy me than ever before, I'm already inundated and wanna die Rio: Nothing sexier than unavailability Nancy: Nothing sexy about how they show their 'interest' though Nancy: If that's how they approach straight girls I don't know how we've survived as a species Rio: Go on, wow me with their chat Rio: need a laugh Nancy: Most of them don't even bother to speak, their love language is clearly touch Rio: 😬 Rio: Rapey Nancy: It's scary, like Nancy: I thought posh boys were meant to be repressed Rio: Nah, they're THE worst Rio: untouchable in return for all the grabbing they're into Rio: and SO many mommy/daddy issues Nancy: Gross Rio: Fun if you're feeling it for the weekend but yeah Rio: not a mood you wanna marry into really Nancy: If I wasn't gay before I definitely am now you tried to force your tongue down my throat in the middle of the school hallway, thanks so much  🙄 Rio: That's so grim Rio: hope you smacked him Nancy: My brother has essentially one use to me Rio: It's something Rio: don't discount it Nancy: I can't unless I also wanna take up boxing myself Nancy: Not really my thing so Rio: Least you know he gives some shits, yeah Nancy: He likes to hit stuff Nancy: I've always known that Rio: Yeah Nancy: Anyway, I have to go Nancy: If I ignore this deadline it won't Nancy: and the essay won't write itself either Rio: Oh no Rio: lame Rio: but good 🍀 Nancy: Thanks, I need it Nancy: At least until my mum gets back and I can ask her about romantic classicism Rio: I'm too dumb and poor for this shit, sorry xoxo Nancy: I do have the money to buy myself an essay where my brain has failed me Nancy: but I'd have to make it look Dyslexic enough so I might as well just write it Rio: 💔 Rio: Sad times, princess, sad times Nancy: ikr 👑💧 that's my crown of tears not like Nancy: any other liquids Nancy: I'm definitely not putting any sweat into it Rio: 💪 you got this Nancy: I've got 🍀 because of you Nancy: I'll make it work Rio: 🧡🧡🧡 Nancy: xxx