#so I tried to take note of how it could've been improved with a stronger script
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drshebloggo · 4 years ago
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how to make WW84 a stronger movie
As sort of requested, here’s a beefed-up version of the list of notes I made watching WW84 because I was getting cranky with the execution of this movie and couldn’t help but jot down ideas. I WANTED to love this thing but the script was not selling its ideas to best effect.
For me, I think there were a few challenges inherent in the movie they wanted to make. BUT with a few different choices here and there in the way the story was told, it would’ve improved its impact without sacrificing what they were going for with tone and characters. 
CHALLENGE #1: this movie is set SO far in the future from the events of the first film. 65 years have passed, and Diana is still just gliding somberly through her life and that makes me SAD. All her friends are dead! She’s on her own and cursed with immortality!! She lives in an ‘80s decor sadness chamber surrounded by photos and memories of people she’ll never see again!!!
And yet the film gave us no real textual information about that. They did the laziest thing possible, which was pan the camera around a million photos on mantles and told us NOTHING. Literally WHAT has Diana done for the past, say, THIRTY YEARS since her Earth Friends all died without her??? Has she literally made NO OTHER friends? She’s still sad about Steve 65 years later and nothing else has progressed?
This lack of specificity leaves Diana fading in the lead role of her own movie despite the fact that there’s TONS of material there that they just... ignored. For me, she read flat, which bummed me out majorly. Her best stuff was with Steve because that actually MEANS something. But it’s all she’s got in this film. They didn’t bother filling in any other information about her life. 
FIX IT: literally just make Barbara already friends with Diana at the beginning. Not only does it make Diana more interesting, it reduces the sheer amount of exposition that the film piles on in the first 45 minutes. This also means you can bring Steve back sooner than the 45 minute mark, which would help grease the wheels in the first third of the movie. And it also means that Diana losing Barbara to inhumanity would actually have a greater impact on Diana beyond “oh my kooky new friend turned into an evil cat; this is vexing.”
CHALLENGE #2: the tone is WILDLY different than the tone of the first. They went from WWI trench warfare to shopping malls and fanny packs. It’s a HUGE tone shift, and it takes some getting used to. But there are good things to it; namely it provides great comedy for Steve, who is a definite bright spot in the movie. 
Overall I’m on board with doing a superhero movie that pivots away from grit and darkness and toward camp and comedy, and it’s cool to do something new rather than reiterate the same tone from the first film. But I think they could’ve done more to sell the tone shift. 
There are HIJINKS inherent in the premise that I’m guessing were fairly unilaterally unexpected. There’s a vaguely historical magic WISHING STONE and three buffoons each made a wish and turned shit upside down. I myself wish that Maxwell and Barbara and Diana were rendered in triplicate, as equal collaborators in this batshittery. I don’t think you’re watering down Diana’s role as lead (no more than giving her no other emotions to play than sadness) by doing so, and it even works nicely to own the idea that Max and Barbara are on equal narrative ground as Diana.
As far as the villainy goes, Max is more recognizably a Bad Guy, but Barbara is NOT, and it’s fascinating to show at least Diana and Barbara working together but slowly falling apart as shit goes SIDEWAYS. Hijinks can be zany and also meaningful! What if a villain is just a friend who wants something different than you and you have to come to terms with that and stop them from doing dumb shit? There’s an element of screwball to this premise and I wanted them to lean in more. This would also give Diana more to do than cry and fight.
FIX IT: show Barbara getting her powers using the same tropes of other superheroes getting their powers and figuring them out. Play it like she’s Peter Parker finding out she’s Spider-man. Hell, do a montage with all three of them using/abusing their powers: Barbara beating the shit out of things, Maxwell manipulating people, Steve and Diana making the fuck out and enjoying the shit out of it. These are the joys of wish fulfillment! 
AND, if they had set up the rules of the artifact beforehand (see Challenge #3), then the audience would know they were watching very happy people who are going to have their LIVES RUINED SOON. And that is good storytelling. (Maybe this is oversimplified, but honestly half of good storytelling is just making the audience feel two opposite emotions at the same time. The other half is dramatic irony, which would also apply to this trio montage.)
CHALLENGE #3: What the hell are the rules of this magic wishing artifact anyways??? The audience should know them before the characters do. The way this movie doled out information was bananas. They waited right before they were going to the tell the audience something to show us what they were about to tell us. Just show us earlier and tell the characters later!!! That way WE’LL already know because we’ve seen it, and THEY’RE not saddled with expositional dialogue to make sure the audience follows the idea.
FIX IT: For the love of humanity, nix the opening sequence with the horse race and make it about the damn stone!! Rip off Lord of the Rings and tell the history of the innocent but dangerous thing. Rip off Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows and animate something about how it gives wishes at a cost. Hell, let Connie Nielsen and Robin Wright(’s unbelievably ripped arms) tell young Diana the story so they can still hang out and be a part of the film! Throw in some lore about the gods, just to remind us where Diana comes from and her belief system, and we’re good to go.
While you’re at it, toss in the whole point of the film into the moral that Diana’s moms impart to her at a young age. It’s not a spoiler. We don’t wonder if 1984 Diana will do the right thing. She does not need to LEARN this moral. She already knows the moral, but she still has to make the hard choice to let Steve go and of course it doesn’t come easy.
In summary: that horse race had little to do with the rest of the movie and it’s wasted story space, especially for setting up the entire magical premise that the movie hinges on, let alone the actual message of the film.
CHALLENGE #4: Do we care about Maxwell and his kiddo enough to rest the entire movie’s resolution on it? Ehhhh. The glimpses into young Max’s abuse is another example of showing information RIGHTBEFORE it’s important, rather than setting it up earlier to pay off later. It’s a far weaker choice.
FIX IT: Age up Alistair. If he’s a teen or preeteen, then the stakes feel higher because it seems more monumental to undo the trauma of neglect at that age. Much like in his business pursuits, the clock is ticking and Max is running out of opportunities for success in all realms of his life.
Maybe show Maxwell trying to reason with Alistair earlier in the movie, saying that he’s a good dad because he’s not as bad a dad as his own father. It shows us how he justifies his behavior, gives us the information that he had an abusive dad, and gives an actual interaction between father and son other than “daddy you’re not here” and “shhh son here’s a pony.”
Possible other fix-it which connects to other fixes: what if Barbara actually renounces her wish before Max does? It should be more painful to the audience to lose Barbara to her wish because we’ve technically LIKED her at one point. She means something to Diana, and so she means something to us. Honestly, the audience has rooted for her independent of Diana! The scene where she realizes she’s not powerless against her harasser but then completely loses herself in violence against him? One of the movie’s best. It’s pretty dissatisfying that she just goes completely off the deep end and then nothing with her is resolved after the wishes are broken.
But, with the way the movie is set up, the big emotional climax is the scene of Diana getting through to Max/the entire planet, so it’s hard to undo that and give it to Barbara instead, considering that it won’t wrap up the plot. But geez, do SOMETHING with Barbara that’s based in actual emotions. Don’t hinge your entire movie’s emotional resolve on a father-son relationship that’s two-dimensional and doesn’t have anything to do with the main character! You had emotional investment in Barbara; use it!!
At the very least, have Diana get through to Barbara in some way, either before Maxwell renounces or after, and maybe even intercut it with Max and his kid. 
CHALLENGE #5: I experience great existential malaise at watching a mylar balloon drift off into the ether. Was there no better visual for the final moments of the film? Asking for myself, and also the planet. (This one is mostly a joke... but seriously, you guys, the PLANET.)
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mischi3f-manag3d · 4 years ago
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In and Out of Love
George Weasley x Reader x Fred Weasley
Summary: You and George had made a silent agreement, a silent promise, the minute you stepped into the twins shared bedroom after Fred had passed. You both knew how intense and unforgiving the grieving process could be. It would be relentless and terrifying, but you both couldn't bare to talk to the other, to share in your feelings of loss. It was all too much. So, the room stayed silent. For weeks. Neither of you daring to glance in the other direction unless absolutely necessary. Unable to bare witness to what the grief had done to the other.
But, promises were meant to be broken, and the realization comes quicker than expected that you would have to face each other in order to heal.
Chapter One| A Silent Agreement
Warnings: lots of angst and some fluff?
A/N: yikes, sorry if this sucks but this idea has been on my mind FOREVER. And I needed to get it out. Sorry if George's character isn't great so please let me know if there's anything I can improve on!!
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The first step into what was once George and Fred's shared room was terrifying. His clothes were still left scattered around on what was "his" side of the room. His scent, his personality, lingered on everything. A sob caught in your throat as you entered, making your way to sit on the bed you shared with Fred many nights before.
//
"Shhh Darling, they'll only find out that you're in here if you keep giggling." Fred chuckled quietly as you held back a laugh threatening to escape from your lips.
"I'm sorry, I can't help it Freddy." You whispered back as you snuggled closer to his side. He had snuck you out of Ginny's bedroom and into his for what seemed like the millionth time, but each time felt like the first time.
He watched as you made yourself comfortable, sleep eventually engulfing you.
"I love you Y/n." He spoke, more for himself to hear than anything.
You smiled to yourself, hearing the words neither of you had said yet in your relationship.
"I love you too Freddy." You smiled to yourself as he tensed, making you realize he hadn't noticed you were still awake. His face turned crimson as he chuckled, pulling you impossibly closer to his warm chest. He placed a soft kiss to your forehead as he let sleep take him as well.
//
The memory left as fast as it had came and you were left with nothing. The loneliness hit you like a dump truck, the same way it had hit you when you saw Fred, lying there, unmoving.
A few stray tears escaped, bringing you back to the reality you now had to face. A reality without Fred Weasley.
You hadn't let yourself break down completely, not yet. The feeling of loss too overwhelming. It had only made you feel numb, cold, lost. It hadn't let you succumb to the tears you knew would one day wreak havoc on you. A day you knew was coming sooner rather than later.
Footsteps brought you out of your trance. You looked up to be met with the eyes of the other half of the weasley twins. One you couldn't bare to look at too long as it reminded you far to much of the love you had lost. George knew this too. He knew just looking at him broke you into pieces. He insisted you sleep in Ginny or even Ron's room, to avoid the pain he would inevitably cause you. But, you disagreed, you wanted to sleep in Fred's bed. You hoped that maybe it would help you grieve, help you move past what once was.
If only you had realized how hard it would truly be to wake up every day, met with George sitting across the room from you. It pained you to look George in the eyes. It hurt more than you could've imagined when you agreed to stay in the twins room.
~~
The first week was awful. Neither of you could sleep. Neither of you said a word. George stared up at the ceiling, hoping that maybe this was all a nightmare, and that he'd hear his twin laugh from across the room. That his twin would offer up some ridiculous new thing to add to the store that he of course would agree too.
But that didn't happen. The silence was deafining. It was making him go insane. He looked over to see you curled up into a ball, facing away from him. You were holding on to something but he couldn't quite tell what it was. He let out a sigh, the grief had left him numb too. His body not yet giving in to the cries that would eventually take over in the process of healing. To say he was terrified was an understatement. Terrified of what this world would be like without his brother, without the dynamic duo that was once him and his brother, Fred.
You had felt his eyes on you, but you couldn't bare to roll over and look at him, to say something. The stuffed bear Fred had given you for your second anniversary was tucked tightly underneath your arm. Serving as the tiniest bit of relief to what you had bottled up inside.
Everytime you closed your eyes you saw Fred. But not an image of Fred you wanted to see. It haunted you and kept you from the sleep that oh so wished to take over your body.
You couldn't remember when you finally fell asleep. Had it been an hour? 10 minutes? You were unsure. The light from outside streamed into the room through the faded curtains on the window. Sitting up, you noticed George was awake, but facing away from you.
A knock from the door tore your eyes away from the red headed boy. You swallowed hard, afraid of any social interaction outside of the thoughts you fought with inside your mind. The door creaked open only far enough for the mystery person to set a tray of food down on the floor. You could see a small note left with the tray, assuming it was for the two of you to read.
You waited for them to be gone before you slowly got yourself out of bed to grab the tray. There were two sandwiches, some fruit and some granola bars. What you could only assume was breakfast.. or lunch. You still hadn't looked to see what time it was. The clock on the wall giving you the answer you needed as it read 11:15am.
The note sat on the tray, folded in half with the words "George and Y/n" written in it. You felt bad for opening it without George, but he'd have the chance to read it later. Slowly, you unfolded the note. It was easy to tell Molly's handwriting from the rest of the Wesley's.
"My dearest children George and Y/n.
Please eat something. Just a little for me darlings?
You're not alone in this. We have to be here for each other through this loss. We're stronger as a family.
I love you both, take your time.
Molly"
A few tears escaped as you placed the note down. You realized how selfish you both had been in pushing away the rest of the family. It wasn't just you two who had lost Fred, there was a whole family downstairs who had also lost Fred. Molly and Arthur had lost a son, Ginny and Ron had lost their older brother, someone they looked up to. Bill, Charlie and Percy had lost their younger brother. A brother who they saw themselves in every day he grew.
It felt unfair to hide away from everyone else when they just wanted to help. They wanted to grieve with you and try to make it easier. But it was so hard. It was hard to move, hard to make any sense of the thoughts constantly screaming at you inside your head. You knew eventually you would face the rest of the family.. but it couldn't be now. No, not now.
Picking away at the food, you eventually were able to down the sandwich and an apple, stuffing a granola bar in your pocket for later.
Looking up you saw George was still sat in the same position he was when you first got up. Staring off at the wall away from you. He needed to eat too. Slowly, you got up off the hard ground and carried the tray over to his bed and set it down lightly. It felt wrong to touch him. Like you were invading his personal space. Yet, you didn't stop yourself from gently placing a hand on his shoulder. He jumped at the sudden touch. He didn't want to turn around. Didn't want to face you, knowing the pain he brought you. You knew this too. You had to let his face not haunt you, but heal you.
You tugged on his shoulder lightly, giving him the silent okay that he could turn around. He sighed, knowing that even through your approval that it would hurt you. Eventually, he turned around, looking up at you as you stood next to his bed. His eyes were puffy and red, a quick reminder of the reality you both faced.
You tried to give him a small smile as you gestured to the tray of food in front of you. Gently you pushed Molly's note towards him, to signify he should read it too. Goerge gave you a nod, and looked down at the food in front of him. He gulped, not knowing if he'd be able to stomach the food, given his current state. But, he tried. He got half the sandwich and a granola bar down before he had to push the tray away, afraid he'd throw it all up.
The room had somehow gotten darker. The light that once invaded the room slowly slipping away behind the horizon. The clock now read 7:30pm. You wondered how the time went by so fast, but realized how fast time had gone by lately for the both of you. It was lunch one minute and before you knew it, it was dark out. Time meant nothing to you two. At this point it was simply a way to know when to expect a mystery person at your door.
One time Ron had tried to come in, to say something to the two of you. Needless to say he was immediately met with a shoe inches away from his face. George couldn't handle the rage of his emotions. He just wanted to be left alone. It made him happy that you two had made the silent agreement to not say anything to each other. At least not for now. You had hoped that one day Molly wouldn't try to come in as you were afraid she'd be met with same fate as Ron. A heavy object thrown merely inches from her face. That would be the day he hears it, grieving or not.
~~
A few more weeks went by of the same routine. Sleep barely at all, get up, try to eat whatever food had been left by the door, and then try to go back to sleep. The nights had been silent, neither of you daring to let yourself succumb to anything. It was still too numbing. You felt crazy for not crying. Every muggle movie you had watched where someone died, the main character broke down in tears, sobbing until no air was left in their lungs. You assumed it would be like that if you ever lost someone you loved. However, it was completely different. You had barely cried, same with George. Everything was just numb. Nothing felt like it had life to it. It felt like everything was moving in slow motion. It felt like you were living with 1000 pounds on your chest everyday, constricting everything, making you feel small and helpless.
This night though. This night would be different to what you were used to.
You had been used to quiet nights. Sleepless, but quiet nights. Especially from George. He slept less than you, at least thats what you thought. His eyes were always red with bags under them as if he hadn't slept for months. Sleep had finally granted you some peace, but not for long as a blood curdling scream scared you wide awake into a sitting position. You had no hesitation looking over to George who was now sitting up, sweating buckets, his hair sticking to his face. He had his head buried in his hands, with his knees tucked tight up to his chest. He was shaking slightly, afraid that he was still stuck in the nightmare.
It pained you to see him like this. It hurt to see how badly this nightmare affected him. You waited up with him silently to see if it would pass and he could go back to sleep. Minutes passed that seemed like hours, yet he stayed stuck in the same position, haunted by what he had seen.
Something pulled you out of bed. Something that knew, in this moment, George Weasley needed someone. He needed someone to comfort him, and if that person was you, so be it. As you walked over to his bed, thoughts plagued you of what could happen. You were afraid he'd lash out, not wanting you near him. Afraid he'd want to deal with this on his own. But you knew, you were being drawn over to his bed for a reason. He needed your help.
You slowly made your way to the side of his bed. As you looked down at his shaking figure, you couldn't stop a tear that fell down the side of your face. Thinking he already knew you were there, you gave him a second to look up. Yet, he didn't. The fear incapsulated him, took control of his mind and body in this moment. He hadn't even realized you had gotten out of bed, let alone that you were stood next to him. Realizing that you'd have to do something, you sat down next to him, carefully, afraid he'd snap at any minute. He did however feel the bed sink next to him. Still, he didn't dare to look at who occupied the space.
You knew you'd have to do more. To help him get out of whatever he was stuck in. Looking him up and down, he resembled a young boy. A scared, helpless young boy. Carefully, you lightly grabbed his hand and pulled them away from his face. He tried to hide his face again to no avail. It forced him to look at you, to realize he was indeed here, at home, safe.
He read the sadness in your eyes, but he was too afraid to do anything. So, you did something for him. You gently cupped his cheek with your hand. A way to signify that you were real, you were here. He leaned into your touch, feeling weak and helpless. You wiped a tear away that fell down his cheek and gave him a weak, half-assed smile. The line of the silent agreement had definitely been crossed, but if for just this moment, you felt it was ok, and he did too.
Gesturing to the part of the bed that was unoccupied, he knew what you were asking and he nodded, a silent plea in hopes that you would stay with him. Lifting the covers, you made yourself comfy underneath them, joining the weasley boy in the small twin size bed. In any other scenario you would think this was wrong. Sleeping in the same bed as your late boyfriends brother? Any other time you would've felt ashamed, but you knew that this moment between you two wasn't anything, but platonic. It was a friend trying to comfort another friend who was dealing with the same loss.
George looked down at you, scared that you'd disappear at any second and leave him alone. You knew what he was thinking and for the first time since you had entered the room many weeks ago, you spoke to him.
"I'm here." You spoke, barely above a whisper. He let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding as he slowly laid down next to you. You let him lay his head on your chest as you gently wrapped your arms around him. Letting him know you weren't going anywhere. It was in this moment that he finally let himself release everything he had bottled up. He felt safe in your arms. He felt like he wasn't alone for once.
George turned into a mess in your arms, sobs escaping his lips, as he gripped onto you. You stroked his hair lightly, letting him do what he needed. He was on his way to letting himself move past. Letting himself hurt and feel. Tears stained your shirt as you continued to comfort him. His hair was sticking to his face and in every direction imaginable. But it had flattened down nicely as you ran your hands through it. You wondered why you hadn't felt this way yet. Why you hadn't let yourself break down. Maybe it was the walls you had built up over the last weeks. Unable to let yourself become vulnerable like George had now. You knew it would hit you eventually, not wanting to think about that moment. All you could think about now was helping George.
Eventually he calmed down, your shirt soaked from his tears, but it didn't bother you. He was sound asleep, his head still resting on your chest and his arms wrapped tightly around you. Afraid to let you go. You let out a sigh. You were scared of the day you'd end up like this in George's arms as he held you, your sobs controlling you, making your body shake uncontrollably. Scared of what consequences that would bring the two of you. Scared of the clear line you had both crossed tonight.
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