#snouted fuckiing things

[pesterloglog]

Porrim Maryam, Latula Pyrope, Meenah Peixes, Aradiabot, Mituna Captor, Damara Megido, Kankri Vantas, Karkat Vantas, Kanaya Maryam, Tavros Nitram, Sollux Captor, Vriska Serket, Terezi Pyrope, Rufioh Nitram, Horuss Zahhak, Equius Zahhak, Nepeta Leijon, Gamzee Makara

Act 6, page 5427

PORRIM: I saw the cro+wd fro+m way o+ver there. Acco+rding to+ peo+ple o+ut o+n the cusp, this is so+me so+rt o+f co+stume party?

LATULA: tru f4ctz grl!!! just j4m yours3lf 1n th3 p1l3, l1k3z th1s!!!

MEENAH: ah fuck are people way over there still callin this a party

ARADIABOT: destr0y

MITUNA: S0M30N3 15 70U5H1NG M3. 7H15 N33D5 70 570P

DAMARA: 誰かが私に触れている。続けてください。[Someone is touching me. Please continue.]

KANKRI: S9ME9NE IS TRIGGERING ME. THIS NEEDS TO BE TAGGED.

PORRIM: Sho+o+sh!

MITUNA: 1M 50RRY

KARKAT: OH GOD, I CAN HEAR HIM WHINING FROM ALL THE WAY OVER THERE.

KANAYA: Someone Over There Is Probably Making The Same Observation About You

KARKAT: YEAH, AND YOUR ANCESTOR IS PROBABLY CHIDING HIM MATERNALLY OVER THERE, JUST LIKE YOU ARE WITH ME. EVER THINK ABOUT THAT??

KANAYA: I'm Sorry

ARADIABOT: kill

TAVROS: (wherE, OH, wHERe,)

SOLLUX: ehehehehe, thii2 party ii2 a fuckiing JOKE.

MEENAH: no its a shitty battle royale pass it on you dirtscrapin sack of honey dijon rubbish

SOLLUX: niice dress, fiin face, olol.

TAVROS: (iS, my prEciOUs,)

VRISKA: Tavros, stop crawling around under everyone's feet! You're 8eing so weird.

TEREZI: Y34H, W3 C4N 4LL H34R YOU WH1SP3R1NG TO YOURS3LF. PR3TTY W31RD, BRO. >:\

TAVROS: (none of Them, can uNderstAnd,)

ARADIABOT: destr0y

RUFIOH: haha, yo 1 th1nk 1 hear my young ancestor wh1sper1ng from all the way over here... about someth1ng prec1ous... sh*t 1s crazy!

TAVROS: (tHe beAUTY, of my PrEcious,)

HORUSS: 8=D < It reminds me of when I was similarly sm*tten, and searched everywhere for the perfect snout ring for you, to FORTIFY our commitment. Do you remember, Rufioh?

RUFIOH: whoa, yeah! heh, those were the days... (hey doll, m1nd 1f we talk a b1t? 1 ma1nly want to look d1stracted... so the guy w1th the ponyta1l leaves me alone... you d1g?)

ARADIABOT: death t0 all

RUFIOH: ahaha... d*mn. so much l1ke the real th1ng 1t's... freaky }:o

ARADIABOT: like what real thing

RUFIOH: uh... you know, l1ke...

ARADIABOT: if y0u say like alive aradia i will make y0u BEG f0r a h0rse b0dy

RUFIOH: no no, l1ke someone else!!! d*mn... uncanny...

ARADIABOT: 0h 0k

RUFIOH: hey, you're pretty cool babe... want to... like... if you aren't doing anything...

EQUIUS: D --> E%cuse me, what is going on over here

RUFIOH: (man... not another zahnak! haha, this is f***in crazy...)

ARADIABOT: this guy with the m0hawk was flirting with me and i was being fully receptive to his advances

RUFIOH: whoa you were?

EQUIUS: D --> I see. Aradiabot #100502, why must you devastate my pump biscuit so?

NEPETA: :33 < *the pouncellor astutely pawbserves the exchange and updates her shipping grid with startling developments of the heart!*

EQUIUS: D --> Nepeta, stop!

NEPETA: :33 < no!

EQUIUS: D --> Yes

NEPETA: :33 < no

EQUIUS: D --> Yes

NEPETA: :33 < no

GAMZEE: HONK

TEREZI: MOR3!!! MOR3 1 S4Y!!! 4444H4H4H4H4H4H4H4H4!!!!!!!

[pissybitchboy]

are there any mythological ant eater creature? or maybe a deity or smt? they look a heckin load a fucky with the long mouth-nose-snout-thing and their fuzzy tail not to mention the sharp as fuck claw that can deter even a jaguar there got to be some mofo in the past who saw one and go "that is a god" and what not

[gpedia]

Imma just put this here, because i think it's too weird to just submit to dream.

This was a dream I had a few years back, apropos of nothing. This text is just the same as when I jogged it down on my phone in the bleary half-life of just-wakened-screaming so the text might not be entirely polite or grammatically correct.

So it started out really beautifully.

I was this humanoid creature sleeping in a clearing in this beautiful autumnal temperate deciduous forest, you know, lots of tall open trees and sepia tones and colorful leaves carpeting the ground.

And then the sun rises and that humanoid thing is this direbear thing some 20 ft high like some native american spirit god or something, and there's a female human I'm friendly with, but who's also me, in a way? And this male human who's friends with the female from back in the city but is also me?

So this goes on for what seems like a while okay with the humans coming and interacting with bear me that my pov stays with, and slowly finding out that bear me is actually a bear creature and not just a forest boy.

And slowly the forest seems to be getting corrupted by this alien or demonic growth thing thats slowly making the plants and animals these not quite natural things as if they were being replaced with creations that were made by someone who's only ever had animals described to him, and has only seen separate parts, never a full body, if you can imagine that? Like all gory and different body parts from different animals or plants attached in ways that nature wouldn't have done, and all dripping in gore? And bear me knows subconsciously that it's something supernatural, but doesn't know why because he doesn't remember what he really is, which was something i never quite figured out throughout the dream.

There were this team of explorers that got lost in the forest while researching what they think are odd new species that were found in the forest and so bear me in human form is tracking this one scientist type that's related to female me. Both the humans are also with him and they're walking through the now quite scary and disturbing forest and finally end up at this cave.

And then we go through this cave, and I start hearing this kinda creepy song that I don't remember anything off except that it was deeply scary like I was feeling fear all the way in my bones non-existent bones (did I mention I'm watching this whole thing in a sorta camera pov following these guys, not as any one of them?).

And then we see what seems like the scientist guy with his back turned to us, but he looks all gaunt and skeletal and he's covered in this clay-colored wet stuff, and human mes want to go over and talk to him, but camera me and bear me are scared of him for whatever reason and bear me stops human mes from going further in.

And then he slowly turns around, and his head is all fucky.

He's got this wierd mouth like it's got canine teeth inside but no snout and a human cheeks and lips?

And the top part of his head, like from the lower part of your eye socket to just below his hairline is one big bloodshot watery central eye that has, where the iris and pupil would be, a big gory limb somewhere between a penis and a human arm cut off at the elbow that's as big around at the base as the iris of that big eye would have been, and tapers kinda like a penis would?

And human mes scream and run back even as bear me and camera me look on in horror and then I'm screaming though I don't remember starting and suddenly I'm in bed and my dad's trying to calm me down.

So yeah. It was quite the trip.

[voidendron]

Story Time

One-Shot, 2′327 Words Star Wars AU

(( the formatting got fucky and hard to read for mobile, can’t get it to fix itself, so reposting as a text post instead of answer in an attempt to get it to work.

set later than previous SW fics where they actually like. can stand each other. it ended up WAY longer than I anticipated, but So. Worth it. It was a lot of fun :D ))

Warnings: Alcohol, Drunkenness (mild), Swearing Characters: Chase Brody, Jackieboy Man, Jameson Jackson, Marvin the Magnificent, Dr. Schneeplestein, Septic Eye Sam

Chase had dropped off a pretty large shipment earlier, which left the cargo bay of his ship with plenty of room. With an empty crate acting as a makeshift table, they all sat around it, some with more distance between them than others. It had been Chase’s idea, because of course it had been.

Jackie was looking at his drink skeptically (probably wondering if Chase had come by it legally or not) while Sam pouted at the fact Marvin wouldn’t let them have any. …Which was funny considering that, while they were the youngest there, they were as much an adult as the rest of them. Jameson had waved off the offer, not wanting to remove his vocoder—vocabulator?—whatever it was; Chase had heard multiple names used for the things.

Chase might have been a little tipsy at that point and he could feel Schneep eyeing him. He was watching himself, though, and at least his astromech could pilot while he was unable.

“Anyway,” the Bothan said as he threw a hand up, “that’s how I accidentally pissed off a governor and got an assassin sent after me!”

Marvin made a noise akin to some sort of hissing laugh. “I think I’ve got more questions than I started with.”

“Yeah…” Jackie took a testing sip of his drink as he leaned back against an empty pallet. “What was that part about getting stuck in the wrong vent again?”

“Doesn’t matter—my time’s up! Who can one-up that?” Chase pulled his best rendition of a grin that he could with a snout full of sharp teeth.

“Eh, I’ll give it a shot.” Marvin adjusted his legs and patted his helmet to make sure it was still resting at his thigh. “This was back when Sami was a teenager, but… Heh. You remember that Acklay?”

The younger Mandalorian immediately perked up and started grinning. “You told that story for weeks after!”

“Hey, that’s where I earned my signet—‘course I’d keep telling it!”

“Acklay…” Jackie rubbed at his chin. “You mean those freaky six-legged buggers that try to spear ya?”

Marvin grinned; his feline fangs were even sharper than Chase’s and glinted in the light from overhead. “Oh, yeah. And those legs are sharp, dammit.” He traced a line over his breastplate up to his shoulder and added, “Got a nasty scar here from it, and proud of it!”

“So what about the Acklay?” Schneep actually…tilted his head a little. God was he expressive for a droid.

“All right. Let’s see if this one-ups Chase’s ship-crash of an experience, huh?” He took a swig of his drink, then settled back comfortably. “I did a lot of our clan’s supply runs—especially if it was into dangerous territory. I had to go to Felucia for some plant. Not a botanist, so don’t remember what it was or what it was used for, but whatever. We needed it and that’s all you need to know about that.

“So, I was searching for this plant, watching my back for dangerous fauna, and then I heard it.” He gnashed his teeth together, making poor Sami jump at the noise. “It was above me, on one of the…root-things all over the place. Just watching me. And the thing was huge. I’d only seen them from a distance until that point, but one good strike would’ve speared one of its legs straight through me.

“When it shifted, the entire root creaked under it. It must’ve been waiting there long before I got there ‘cause there was no way I wouldn’t have heard it walk up there.” He muttered something in Mando’a and chuckled to himself. “So I did what any impulsive Mandalorian would do and started shooting at it.”

Jameson startled Chase—as well as some of the others by the looks of it—when he suddenly piped in. He hadn’t expected the guy to actually listen enough to contribute. “Acklays have exoskeletons. A blaster such as you carry would do little.”

Marvin frowned a little at Jameson, but at least he wasn’t baring his teeth this time. For once? “Yeah. And I remembered that fact only when it lumbered off the damn root and nearly speared me under it.

“That was back before I got my jetpack, and carried a vibroblade instead of my electrostaff.” He patted said weapon where it laid next to him. “So I was stuck on the ground with somethin’ a whole lot faster than me, with more reach, and those fuckers are scary agile, too. I was alone with the only things I’d have a chance with being a few grenades and my blade.”

Jackie arched a brow. “…You say that like ‘a few’ grenades are just a casual thing.”

“Well, yeah. Mandalorians are usually armed to the teeth.”

“Fangs,” Chase corrected with a chuckle. “’Cause you’re a Cathar, so you’ve got fangs.”

Marvin just snorted. “Someone get him to bed—”

“—I’m not that drunk—!”

“—Anyway. So I’ve got this Acklay that’s way bigger than me trying to knock me over, spear me, chomp me, whatever it can. It broke some of my straps, so I was left without a breastplate or right pauldron, lost one of my blasters, I’m dragging my sash in my hands since that got cut, too, and I really wanted to keep my grenades with me, all while I’m trying not to let this thing make a meal of me and it’s screeching in my ear.

“So I’m trying to duck around plants and dive for areas it can’t fit, but it just plows through or destroys them to leave me floundering for a new spot. I can see my ship, but this thing’s driving me farther and farther from it, then I trip, and all I see is one of its legs poised to impale me. I roll, but it still catches me,” he traces the line on his chest again, “so now I’m bleeding, can’t move one arm, and this thing reaches down to chomp me, catches my other pauldron instead and pulls it off so I scramble to my feet.

“I’m covered in mud and pollen and my own blood, my visor’s so filthy I can barely see. I pull a grenade off my sash and activate it, ‘cause at that point I’m thinking I’m about to die and I’m desperate. So I throw the fucker, and the Acklay snatches it out of the air and swallows it.

“Boom. I watched the thing get blown apart, grabbed my stuff and the plant after looking around for it again, and beelined it for my ship.”

Sam shook their head and grinned. “When he got back to camp he was a mess. He was dragging the armor that was pulled off by its straps and had his arm against his chest. His collar bone had been broken and he didn’t even sling his arm! The medical droid scolded him so bad. And the first thing he does? Pull off his helmet, grin a huge grin, and give the plant to our leader all proud of himself!”

“Hey, I had a right to be proud!” Marvin turned to show the marks on his pauldron; sure enough, it was an Acklay head. “That’s how I earned my signet!”

“…Damn.” Chase shook his head. “I’ve heard those things can kill groups of trained soldiers if they’re caught off guard.”

“Impressive,” Schneep agreed. “Very impressive!”

“So. Anyone wanna one-up that?” the Cathar challenged.

Jackie shook his head. “I thought I had a story. No way it tops that.”

“Let’s hear it anyway!” Chase said.

“Yes, please,” the droid agreed.

“Eh. Well.” He rubbed the back of his head. In the dimmed light of the cargo bay, it was almost eerie the way his red eyes glowed as he cast them around the room. “I was in my Y-Wing when Vader joined a battle?”

Chase choked on his drink and was left coughing for a solid thirty seconds. “You survived an encounter with him?!”

“I spotted his TIE from a distance, but it didn’t really…register? that it looked a little different from the rest? Soon as my squad leader saw it, I swear I was gonna go deaf. She flipped. Out. Ordering the squad to retreat immediately. It was right about then that a star destroyer came outta hyperspace.

“We knew that was it. We didn’t have a chance of winning that battle, so we fell back in the hopes of not losing multiple squads.” Jackie frowned. “Half my squad was killed—all good men, friends—when Vader showed up. Pretty sure he’s the one who got to ‘em. I’d never been so terrified.  Heh. And I never even got close to it—just saw it on the other side of the battle. Even now, I don’t think anything’s scared me so damn bad as seein’ that one TIE.

“I wouldn’t fly for days after that, and none of us would shut up about seeing it. We didn’t win that battle, but surviving that sorta encounter at least deserves some bragging rights. Right?”

“Wow!” Sam leaned forward, hands on their knees. “I’ve only ever heard stories of him, but that sounds scary!” They were…grinning, as they said it. Of course they were, Chase thought with a chuckle. He swore those two Mandalorians were addicted to danger. Maybe he was a little, too, but hey.

“Okay, we’ve got a game goin’ now,” Jackie said. “Someone’s gotta go next.”

Schneep shuffled awkwardly, then offered, “I was stolen by pirates?”

“Hey, now.” The Chiss frowned despite the story he’d just told. “We rescued you. Can’t hold that over our heads forever.”

“Oh, no, no!” He put up his hands, shook his head. “You saved me from the third time! But I’ve been stolen before.”

“…Third time?”

“By pirates, yes.”

“That implies you’ve been stolen by things other than pirates, too,” Marvin muttered with a huffed laugh.

“Dude,” Chase grinned, “you’ve got tell us about the first time. Or second—whichever’s more interesting. Please?”

The arms set into Schneep’s back for more fine-tuned work shifted and clattered and his eyes brightened a bit. Maybe he couldn’t make facial expressions, but he had other ways of showing how he felt. It was frankly adorable how expressive he actually was.

“This happened during the Clone Wars. I was a Republic medical droid—”

“I…had forgotten how old you were,” Jameson said.

Jackie scoffed. “You forgot something? You’ve got like. A literal computer attached to your head.”

“It didn’t seem like important information, so I disregarded it.”

“Guys,” Chase scolded, “don’t interrupt him.”

His extra arms fidgeted even as he tried to remain still. “I had been stationed at a small outpost to tend to the Clones there. It was too small and not well-defended—in a very bad location, as well. Very bad planning overall. That is what I was told. Pirates were able to overwhelm it.

“They took hostages, stole the droids and supplies, and fled back to their ship before reinforcements arrived.” He put his hands on his hips like he was disappointed, but also chuckled. “They tried to short me out! But they shocked themselves instead—is very funny to remember. They cursed and jumped around while their little machine zipped and zapped. The astromechs they stole found it hilarious and would not stop chittering!”

Chase laughed. That seemed to make Schneep a little more confident—he wasn’t used to talking so much about himself, it was clear, but the Bothan hoped he would start loosening up like this more often.

“The pirates were incompetent. They overwhelmed the outpost with sheer number and firepower, but I swear, far dumber than a battle droid. The Clones complimented one with insults—right to his face!—and he took it as genuine!

“They floundered around each other like the fish out of water! One accidentally released one of the Clones and the poor man was so confused that he just sat there waiting to be cuffed again, and another nearly shot his buddy while cleaning a blaster and having it go off. It was maddening! They wanted to sell us droids and ransom the Clones, but the truly frustrating part was watching them all be the idiots! I do not even think we were worried for our own well-being they were so nonsensical!”

Most of them were laughing, now. Even Jameson had his head tilted like he just couldn’t make sense of pirates. One of the lights on his AJ^6 was even blinking very, very slowly.

“Dude.” It took Chase a couple tries to actually get any proper words out through snickers, “I’m actually afraid of the answer, but… How badly did you embarrass them to get away?”

The droid cupped his hands over his face and laughed again. “The Clones tricked them into undoing their binds, but they were still locked in the cell. So the astromechs—they ambushed a pirate and stole the key from him!”

“Oh, god. Did they not know how freaking feisty mechs can be?! You don’t tick them off—‘specially not a group of ‘em!”

“Apparently not! They zipped and zapped and pinched until they got the key and released the Clones, and then they took over the ship! The pirates were locked out of the cockpit and the mechs found us the nearest Republic fleet. We all had such a hard time believing it actually happened—and no one would believe us! They could not believe someone could possibly be that incompetent!”

Sami looked like they were having a hard time breathing they were laughing so hard, and both Jackie and Marvin had covered their faces.

“…I think Schneep wins for most entertaining story,” Chase suggested. The others only nodded. “Unless Jameson..?”

“I have nothing interesting to tell.”

“…Oh-kay. Our dear droid with the freakin’ comedy gold of dumb pirate stories wins.”

Schneep clasped his hands together, something in his chest chirping.

[lordrethandus]

The Flame That Guides Us Home Pt 1

Stepping back onto Argus after only a week of rest felt like Gonthar was visiting this planet for the first time all over again; the smoldering ash clinging to his wet snout, the dead wind scratching at his hide, the stench of fel sludge and death, all of it felt so foreign. Azeroth drifted between Argus and An’she, casting a colossal black shadow that draped across the whole of the planet; it was as dark as Argus could be away from its mother sun, which only made the impending battle that much more foreboding.

“Are you ready to meet with Illidan’s pet projects and the Naaru’s slaves?” Istrys asked, standing next to her Gonthar. He was beginning to realize why Rethandus was always ignoring her constant quips. He adjusted his belt and gauntlets in front of the cracked and dirty mirror at the base of the Command Tower before nodding. Slowly they stepped back out into the harsh winds of Argus with only the torches lining the walls and the large Draenei warship looming overhead casting any semblance of light. A lightforged beacon sat just outside of Felfathom Keep, south of the entrance. Although Istrys seemed apprehensive of using such a device for obvious reasons, Gonthar was eager to experience the ancient and blessed technology for himself. The Holy Light washed over his body with an intense warmth, making him suddenly feel weightless while the beacon lifted him off the ground. A blinding flash and an instant later and he was inside the warship with a rush of vertigo.

The first thing he noticed were the sheer amount of humming canisters lining the walls. Draenei clad in hulking power armor heaved containers to and fro in the large ovular room, with heavy weapons primed and ready. Right away Gonthar realized the Gladicaar was not just a smaller Vindicaar; this was a strictly military vessel. Being in the midst of so many battle-hardened veterans and weapons put Gonthar’s worries of this campaign at ease.

Istrys appeared behind him a heartbeat later. Her anti-magic shell was flickering all over her smoking armor, and before she could even take the next step, she collapsed onto her hands and knees. “Are you alright?”

Agony flashed across her grimacing face, but she did her best not to show it. “Just fucki-... give me a second…” There was strain in her voice like she had just been punched in the gut. A part of Gonthar pitied her, but that apathy was gone as quickly as it came; she was a necromancer with blood on her hands, before, during, and after the Scourge. While she slowly pushed herself back onto her feet, he couldn’t help but think how an undead of her caliber even used the beacon in the first place. He certainly didn’t think he could survive stepping through a Death Gate.

Before they reached the door leading to the war room, two of the guards lowered their lightforged lances and barked something incomprehensible at them. Gonthar didn’t know how to respond, knowing full well he and Istrys were invited aboard this warship, but their piercing glares focused on the Necromancer put his questions to rest. “Zekil kanrethad! Apsid’eras arakal?!”

“Apsid’eras xi eiostra’eros faralos raka.” Istrys huffed without skipping a beat, causing the two guards to exchange glances before stepping aside to let them pass. “We should hurry,” she continued, clearing her throat. “I don’t want to overstay my welcome.”

“You can speak Eredun?” Gonthar asked as they both walked down the long spiraling hallway. “What did you say to them?”

“Not Eredun. Draenic.” Istrys was still limping from being wreathed in the Light. “I told them we were invited on behalf of their leader, and if we were delayed any further, he would hear about it.” Istrys gave Gonthar a quizzical look. “You better let me do the translating. You're already on thin ice bringing me here… and don't get me started about sending Zolaar ahead. You are aware these Draenei hate warlocks almost as much as the demons they collaborate with... right?”

Gonthar didn't look worried. “He needs to work with them to gain a clear and direct path to Miraan’s flagship. If they’re fine with the Illidari joining this meeting aboard their Gladicaar, one more crippled outcast won’t be cause for alarm.”

“I hope you’re right.”

The Gladicaar’s war room was smaller than Gonthar expected. Three large rings of light hovered inches off the floor in the center and suspended an oval table, with a hologram of Argus - or what was left of it - slowly spinning in the very center of the room. More Draenei guards stood along a balcony above, adorned in armor neither the Sunwalker nor the Necromancer could recognize; they whispered amongst each other the moment the two stepped in, and although Istrys couldn’t see their glowing eyes underneath their strange helmets, she knew all of them were staring at her. Their hatred for undead was common knowledge, and that went double for undead necromancers; how ironic, she thought, that the harder one fervently worshiped the Light, the more they feared the Void. A Lightforged Draenei adorned in glowing armor and a shimmering cloak of light turned away from the table to face Gonthar and Istrys once they ascended the small steps to the main platform, with Istrys immediately taking notice of a great shadow lurking in the dark in the corner. “Ahh. Oathguard finally come, yes? We have little time for talking.”

Istrys and Gonthar exchanged glances before approaching the table. He wouldn’t need a translator after all. “I am Gonthar Sunsheath, Oathguard Commander. This here is Istrys, my second in command.”

“T'aarth is name. Vice Admiral of Gladicaar.” The Draenei beckoned the fel creature sulking in the corner over, which provoked him to rise to his towering height and step into the light.

“Lord Blightclaw. Illidari.” The Night Elf - or what was left of him after his grisly transformation into a Demon Hunter - studied the two newcomers behind his tattered blindfold. “Now that introductions are out of the way, we should explain our roles in this operation.”

The Sunwalker cleared his throat before speaking. “The Oathguard stands ready to breach Miraan’s flagship and take the fight to her directly. I trust my… colleague… has discovered the rest of the sequence?”

“Your pet warlock has proven himself useful enough.” Lord Blightclaw shrugged, inadvertently shaking his leathery wings. “But there's a problem. Miraan resides in the Krakenax, one of the more… notorious… world-burners. We’ll need more time to charge our gateway. Time we can’t afford.”

T'aarth nodded his head with a grimace spread cross his lips. “Before boarding ship, we must disable first. Powerful guns cut through Gladicaar like knife through butter. Krakenax lay waste to ground forces too.” He paused to study everyone closely. “Anti-aircraft cannons prevent direct approach. But we cannot destroy cannons without Krakenax intervention.”

“So we need to clip her wings before our infiltration. But we can't do that while the ship is hiding behind her ground fortifications, and we can't destroy them without fiery death raining down on us from above?” Istrys crossed her arms and scowled. “I don't suppose anyone has any ideas?”

“Just one.” Lord Blightclaw said. “The Illidari will rush one of the cannons and make as much noise as we can to draw her out of hiding.”

“That would be suicide…” Gonthar muttered. “You would march your hunters to their deaths for a distraction? Why?”

Vice Admiral T'aarth pounded his fist against his chest. “Warframe squadrons will then attack Krakenax. Miraan will be distracted... so ship will be vulnerable to infiltration.”

Gonthar didn't know how to respond to this plan. The Illidari were willing to use themselves as bait, and the Army of the Light wanted to send a few squadrons against a Burning Legion flagship and whatever anti-air guns planetside. A massacre would be the best case scenario. “If this is our best course of action… so be it.”

“It is only course of action.” The Vice Admiral assured him, staring the tauren down with his blindingly golden eyes.

“Don't feel too bad for us, Commander Gonthar.” Lord Blightclaw sneered through razor-sharp teeth. “You'll be the ones in the belly of the beast to face Miraan head on.” He leaned forward and furrowed his brow at him. “Can your Oathguard handle that? Are you up to the task?”

Gonthar’s mane bristled while he stood as straight as he could. “We will not let you down.”

“Good. My Demon Hunters are already on the move.” Lord Blightclaw waved his hand dismissively before turning his back to the others. “Suffer well.”

Istrys rolled her eyes as he left, clearly unimpressed. Gonthar saluted the Vice Admiral then turned to leave as well, but he didn’t make it three steps before the guards near the door stood in their way again. “Wait. Commander Gonthar.” T’aarth called out, stepping around the table. “I have personal favor to ask. If you would listen, yes?”

“Of course.” Gonthar and Istrys exchanged skeptical glances. “What would you ask of me?”

Vice Admiral T’aarth waved one of the guards atop the balcony. “J’azel! Tichar ashj tiriosh!” The tapping of the guard’s hooves against the floor put a sly smirk across Istrys’ face, but she wasn’t dumb enough to say anything. The Draenei stopped beside the Vice Admiral, and slowly removed her helmet to reveal a full head of golden blonde hair and striking yellow eyes. “Enkil buras… azgala ruuk.”

The woman nodded, and turned to Gonthar and Istrys before clearing her throat. “Hello… J’azel is name…” Her orcish was even worse than the Vice Admiral’s. “When fighting on Krakenax begins… please let talk… let talk to Miraan.”

“Talk?” Istrys scowled. “We’re here to kill that bitch, not negotiate. We’re going to cut her nose to navel and find out what she’s really made of.”

“Please…” J’azel insisted. “Please let talk to Miraan.”

“We’ve talked to this woman before.” Gonthar said, shooting Istrys a burning glare. “She’s a ruthless monster… why would we risk giving her the upper hand?” J’azel looked to T’aarth, who slowly nodded back at her.

“Miraan is…” She paused, letting her gaze drop to the floor. “... sister.”

[dragimal]

perhaps my issue is less apparent from the front, this is what I mean

rabbit heads have a distinctive outward curve to the snout, lending to a sleek, round appearance. in furry media, it’s important to rly capture the overall shape of an animal’s head to quickly/efficiently communicate *what* that animal is. here, I’ve given an example of how I might “furry-fy” a rabbit head into a simple, easily-identifiable face, keeping that beautiful outward curve intact. while the face is certainly similar to a misc rodent w/o the ears there for the obvious tell, I think there are still notable differences. for example, mouse/rat faces are far more pointed, so the flatter end to this snout is a good tell that this is a rabbit, rather than a different species

now let’s look at the rabbit characters I used as examples here and see how they hold up

well. they certainly make shapes with those faces, huh?

while there are little differences b/t all these faces, they all share the basic shape of a large/rounded forehead, exaggerated cheeks, and a *supremely* tiny barely-there snout that either sticks straight out from the head or has an upward curve

I do not have a problem with the cheeks, it makes sense that they’re exaggerated in rabbit characters. I do have a problem with how the shape of the snout is not true to anything even close to rabbits. if not for the obvious rabbit ears and how we’ve been trained by old cartoons like Bugs to associate this face shape w/ rabbits, I’m dubious that they’d even be recognizable as rabbits? like, even the most HORRIFICALLY brachycephalic of real-life rabbits don’t look like this

now the funny thing abt Haru, since u defend her specifically in ur tags, is that her head leans far more into humanoid design elements than Bugs/Judy. her tall cranium (esp in conjunction w/ the small eyes) + pointed chin are both human design elements. while I admit I absolutely hate uncanny-valley half-human furry heads like hers, I’d be willing to excuse it as the show’s style-- she does admittedly retain the rabbit snout a *little* bit better than Bugs/Judy, even though it’s plastered onto a human skull

however, that isn’t Beastars’ style. beyond the sometimes-sclera and the emphasis on brow/forehead bumps, I genuinely can’t think of a single other goddamn species in that show that goes uncanny-human with their heads (maybe the bird characters, but their heads aren’t so much human as just. bad). but Beastars’ style itself is completely inconsistent, so maybe the uncanny-valley rabbits DO fit the style, if we look at it from a “let’s confuse the audience” perspective. who knows

but anyways, this is why I focused specifically on rabbits-- it’s not just a Beastars problem! I see it all the goddamn time in furry media! sure, some stories will do that annoying thing where they make the main characters more humanoid to appeal to the audience/gender standards, or there’s something fucky w/ the style in general. but even when rabbits AREN’T the mains, this seems to be the default head shape for them?

and yeah other species can get real ugly head shapes too, but that depends more on the style of the specific story or character. other species get all kinds of wonderful AND ugly head rep across the board. but rabbits? we got the aesthetic ambrosia that was Watership Down (tho xenofiction in general is better at that kinda thing), then it all went downhill from there. I don’t think any other species has gotten so painfully pigeonholed into one inaccurate head shape like this. I blamed Bugs as a joke, but genuinely where did this trend come from, it makes no sense??