#small doodle cause i've been very busy with school work
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crumbsispoggers · 10 months ago
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Permit Office worker (Does not want to work)
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danicloth · 11 months ago
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Hello! My name is Moriah and I am a junior in high school. I was wondering if I might be able to get your insight on a few questions I have?
I am in my final years of high school and am starting to think about college but I have no idea what I want to pursue. I know I love art, so for a long time I have been thinking about getting an art major or going to an art school.
I’m reaching out because I ABSOLUTELY LOVE YOUR ART and I think you are a very talented artist! I have been in love with your art for so long and I am curious and wondering how you are able to fit drawing into your life?
1.) Do you think going to school for art or having an art major is worth it? What was it like?
2.) how can I fit art into my everyday life? I’m sure you have work and other things to do in your life so how do you balance it out? (I just want to know how you can draw as much as you do!)
3.) do you do art as a hobby or a career? If it is a hobby how to you balance work, art, and home life? If it is a career or part-time career is it an alright source of income?
Thank you so much! And sorry if these questions might seem personal. I just want to know how other artist manage to draw and create their work and still have an adult life. Thanks again, and thank you for being a huge inspiration in my life to create the art I love! Your art means so much to me!❤️❤️ ❤️
Hi Moriah!! How have you been? :D✨ I'm so sorry it took me sooooo long to respond. I've been busy like crazy 😩 but I'll try to be as honest as possible and make it understandable too, ‘cause, you know, my english sometimes fails me jaja
1. In my case it was 💜, being able to study the things I love made it much easier for me to finish my degree and know what I want to do now, and although I know that now we are in a time in which you can learn many things just by watching videos or tutorials (especially related to drawing), I still believe that if you want that, you like it and you know you can be good at it, do it ✨, it is better to be happy doing what you like than to be stuck in something you don't, although I would recommend having a idea WHAT you want to study, maybe animation, character design, graphic design, etc. That will create a clearer vision of where you want to go. You can ask yourself, of everything you do, what do you like the most?
2. Personally, I am a very organized person >w<, not to the point of writing down everything I do or have to do in the day, but having an idea of the things I should do helps me a lot, since there are things that I obviously cannot skip, such as work, that takes up a lot of my time, so every time I can I start drawing, even if it's just a small doodle, it's well known that if you want to improve you have to practice and you don't know how much just scribbling helps you 0m0, much of which I know I learned by trying and trying and trying just by drawing silly things in my notebooks, but of course drawing all day is not healthy either. For example, if I get tired I take breaks, maybe to eat a snack, go out with my friends or play with my pet, like that you balance your routine a little, doing your responsibilities but improving along the way and without getting tired.
3. Right now only as a hobby jaja, this year I would like to look for a job related to animation so I couldn't help you as much in that aspect, but I can tell you that nowadays you should have two or more sources of income, even if you have a permanent job in something related to art, have another one just in case or if you have a hobby you can also take advantage of it, like me for example, making commissions you could say that it is my hobby and I am taking advantage of it, but as I mentioned before, organizing yourself will help you. It helps a lot in what you want to do, where you want to go and even your life ✨
I feel very honored that you asked me 🥹✨, don't worry, I am also very new to being a functional adult on my own xD but I am happy to know that you can have that trust with me 💜, I hope that some of my answers have helped you ^w^ I send you a big hug 🫂✨
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captainjanegay · 4 years ago
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Where I’m Meant to Be | Stucky | Meet-Cute, Slow Burn, Friends to Lovers, Kid Fic, No powers AU | Chapters 7/? | total 29k words | Ao3
Summary: Bucky is a single dad coming back from a work trip with a very bored, very whiney 7-year-old girl. A mysterious stranger with a kind heart and a notebook full of doodles comes to the rescue.
A/N: It's been... so long since I've updated this fic. I'm sorry but life got in the way and I couldn't bring myself to write anything. Here I come with apologies and hopes that you haven't forgotten about the adventures of Bucky, Alex and Steve. I'm gonna treat you with the longest chapter I've ever written (it's like 5.3k). I hope you'll like it, I got a bit carried away and my space-nerdiness is showing every now and then.
The chapters will probably come very irregularly from now on but I'll try my best not to have too long gaps between each update. I love you all and — as always — thank you so, so much for your continuous support. I cherish every single reader, every single like and every single comment you leave here :')
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Chapter 7
(5.2k)
When Monday rolls around, Bucky faces New York’s chilly morning as he makes his way to work. It’s been only a few days since he got sick, but he feels significantly better now. His nose might still be stuffed and his throat might feel a bit scratchy, but he is mostly fine. No more coughing fits, no more fever. And it’s not like he could say no when his boss called him to check how he was doing and ask if he’d be able to come by before Christmas to do some required maintenance work.
But it’s fine, since the work at the Institute has slowed down, many people have already taken their days off for the Christmas break. It’s calmer than usual and Bucky can do whatever he’s supposed to do in peace.
It's a bit past noon and Bucky's mindlessly staring at the progress bar on his screen and enjoys his coffee. The peace and quiet — excluding his Christmas playlist playing in the background — is disturbed by the ringing of his phone. Slightly startled, Bucky looks around, searching for the device. After a quick glance at the screen, he answers the call.
"Hi, Buck!" Steve says, his voice soft and warm. "I hope I didn't wake you up or anything. Just wanted to check up on you, see how you're feeling."
"That's very sweet of you," Bucky says, his lips spreading in a smile. "And I'm fine, thank you. Currently waiting for the data backup to finish so you've disrupted my staring contest with the progress bar."
Steve doesn't appreciate the joke. Instead, he asks, "You're at work?" After receiving an affirmative hum, he lets out a slightly annoyed huff. "Why? You should still be in bed! Three days ago you've been barely able to get up for longer than 10 minutes. You should still rest, Buck."
"It's been six days ago, thank you very much," Bucky answers. "And I'm fine, Steve. I promise. I wouldn't come if I was still feeling sick, but the fever's been gone for a few days," two but Steve doesn't have to know that, "and I'm not coughing anymore. I'm as fit as a fiddle."
"I can hear you sniffle."
"It's the allergies," Bucky lies and that makes Steve laugh, although a bit exasperated.
"You're horrible," he says. "Bet you haven't even eaten breakfast or drink enough water or like... didn’t even wear a hat even though you’re sick."
"I did have a toast while I ran to catch the train. And now I'm having coffee for lunch. And it’s not even that cold."
An honest-to-God gasp escapes Steve's mouth after he hears that. Of course he's a Mr. Healthy Lifestyle, Bucky shouldn't even be surprised.
"How are you even functioning? You gotta take care of yourself, Buck."
Bucky's heart skips a bit. It's nice to have someone worry about him. Even if he's being dragged in the meantime. And it was nice when Steve took care of him and Alex back when Bucky was too sick to do this. Of course, he has people who do that. Clint, Tasha, Scott -- he can always count on them. But somehow it feels different with Steve. Steve hasn't been around for years like the others, he's known Bucky for just a few months and he still decided to offer his kindness and care. This thought made Bucky's heart do somersaults in his chest.
So did the fact that Steve had a nickname to Bucky's nickname. And he's been using it a lot. Bucky really likes it.
"I'm functioning very well, thank you. And so is Alex, because I'm not as hopeless in taking care of her, luckily," Bucky chuckles. Before Steve can't say anything, Bucky adds, "Besides, I've been able to survive 28 years like this so don't be overdramatic. No need to go all mother hen on me."
"Oh, you think this is overdramatic?" Steve asks, amused. "You clearly don't know what me being overdramatic is, pal. This is just some simple, friendly check-in."
"Okay, now I'm kinda curious," Bucky says. His cheeks hurt from smiling so much. "Hypothetically, what would one have to do to see what is Steve Rogers's definition of overdramatic?"
It makes Steve let out another laugh. "Careful what you wish for, Buck." It sounds like Steve wants to say something else but there's some noise in the background and his voice becomes distant and inaudible for a moment. When he comes back, he says with a sigh, "Sorry 'bout that. I need to go back to work. I'm glad you're feeling better but eat a proper meal or I'll hunt you down."
"Oh, so no mother hen anymore, were going straight to threats, okay." Bucky nods to himself and Steve huffs out a laugh. "Thanks for the call, Steve. It's very sweet of you. Have a nice day."
"You, too. Say hi to Alex from me."
"I will. Bye, Steve."
.
A small smile is still present on Bucky's face when a few hours later he's picking Alex up from school. It grows bigger when she runs towards him down the stairs, her haphazardly wrapped scarf fluttering behind her. He takes a moment to tuck it properly and then takes Alex's backpack from her.
“How was school today?” Bucky asks as they head home.
“Fine. We played soccer and I scored once!” Alex answers proudly. “Even Adrian didn’t and he’s very good. Maya didn’t want to play ‘cause she says girls shouldn’t play soccer.”
“Jokes on her, because we have a women’s national soccer team and they’re the best. They’re the world champions.”
A gasps escapes Alex’s mouth. “Really? That’s so cool! I want to be a soccer player when I grow up!”
“Not a ballerina, anymore?” Bucky asks, with a small smile.
“No, I’m gonna be a ballerina but I’m gonna play soccer sometimes, too. But that’s after I’ll fly to the moon!”
Bucky only nods and grins at her. He wouldn’t be surprised in the least if she actually pulled that off in the future. There weren’t many things that could stop her since she decided upon something.
“How’s space?” Alex asks, swinging their hands back and forth.
Bucky chuckles. It’s a bit of a tradition at this point. He doesn’t really remember how it started but now she never asks him “how’s work” but it’s always “how’s space?”. Personally, Bucky loves it. It makes him feel like he’s doing much cooler things that he really does.
“Pretty boring, sadly,” he admits. “Didn’t have much to do today and many people are on their breaks so no fun space facts to share today. I chatted on the phone with Steve and he wanted me to say hi to you.”
“Oh, is he coming over today?”
Slightly confused with the question, Bucky shakes his head. “No, he’s not. We just talked on the phone. Why?”
“I don’t know, I thought you liked Steve.”
“Well, I do. I like uncle Scott too but we don’t hang out with him every day, either. Steve has his own life and stuff to do, so we shouldn’t bother him all the time.”
Alex makes a small hum and Bucky’s not sure if it’s a dismissive or an agreeing one. After a moment, she adds, “I bet he wouldn’t mind though. He told me he really likes you.”
“What? When?” The revelation almost makes Bucky stop in the middle of the pavement. The biggest surprise is not that Steve likes him, Bucky has figured out this much after all those times they’ve hung out together. What really takes him aback is that apparently his daughter and Steve are having conversations about him when he’s not there.
“When you were sick and Steve went to ballet class with me. I told him he’s cool and I’m happy you have him so you’re not so lonely. And he said he thinks we’re really cool too and that he likes us a lot.”
This time Bucky slows down and eventually stops. There’s a furrow between his brows when he looks at Alex.
“Why would you think I’m lonely, munchkin? I’m not, I have you and mama, uncle Clint and Scott. And now Steve. I’m more than fine.”
“Well… Okay, maybe I didn’t mean lonely. But sometimes when you have a lot to do and you worry and mama or uncle Clint are busy you do this—” Alex furrows her brows and pouts, apparently imitating a worried Bucky “and you’re quiet and worried. And now you smile even more than you did. You smile all the time when you text Steve.”
For a moment, Bucky only gapes at her, not sure how to react. That’s a lot of information coming at once from his 7-year-old daughter.
“I’m— Well, I’m okay, even if I worry sometimes. And I couldn’t be lonely, having such a sweet little munchkin by my side,” he smiles, bopping her on the nose and getting a smile in return. “But thank you for caring about me, sweetheart. I love you to the moon and back.”
“And I love you to Jupiter!” she answers.
“But not back?” Bucky raises an eyebrow.
“Nah, it’s already so far away, it’s enough.”
The conversation with Alex stays in Bucky’s head for the rest of the day. It’s gnawing at him enough that before he goes to bed, he takes out his phone and calls Natasha.
“How’s my favourite co-parent doing?” she greets.
“Do you have any more co-parents?” Bucky asks instead of answering.
“Nope. That’s what makes you my favourite.” Bucky only sighs so she continues. “Did something happen? You’re usually in the mood for late night conversation when something’s on your mind.”
There’s no point in denying it since Natasha would see right through him. “It’s nothing bad. Apparently Alex thinks I’m lonely.”
“Well, she’s not wrong.”
“What? Tasha, no. I’m not lonely, where did you two get that idea?”
“James, it’s not my fault that you’re an idiot. I know that you have people who love you around. You know that, too. But I know and you also should know — but here’s the ‘idiot’ part — that it might not be enough sometimes. And I’m pretty sure we’ve had a similar conversation like a month ago, so I don’t know why you act all surprised now.”
“Remind me, why did I even call you?”
“Because I am incredible and you value my opinion like no one else’s and also you love me deeply,” Natasha explains dutifully. 
Bucky huffs out a laugh as he sits heavily on the side of his bed. His eyes land on the comic from Steve, still laying on Bucky’s bedside table, propped against the lamp. “Sounds fake, but okay.”
“Did our daughter have any more revelations for you?” Natasha asks.
“Well…,” Bucky hesitates for a moment. “She and Steve gossip about me when I’m not around. And apparently I’ve been smiling more lately. But that’s about it.” 
Natasha hums but even through the phone Bucky can hear that she’s rather amused. 
"What?" Bucky asks.
"I didn't say anything!"
"I can hear you laughing, just say whatever mean thing you're going to say and let's get this over with."
"I'm not gonna say anything mean! I was just wondering when we'd mention Steve in this conversation," she chuckles. "But really. Even your daughter can see that a relationship would be good for you. And that you like Steve a lot. Why not kill two birds with one Steve?"
Bucky sighs. "Because one Steve is also enough to kill this friendship we have."
"Why do you always just automatically assume that things will get fucked? It doesn't have to be the case. I'm serious, you'd better take a grip on yourself and ask him out or I'm back in three days and I'll do this for you. And I'll be as obnoxious and embarrassing for you as I can."
That's actually a pretty horrible threat. She would do that. And it would be both mortifying and horrible to experience for all the involved parties — maybe except Natasha. Bucky laughs, trying to imagine it, but the laugh is short-lived.
"Come on, Nat," Bucky starts after a moment, getting serious. "Steve is great and it's great having him around. But what if I make a move and he's not interested? I don't want to freak him out. Or remember that message I accidentally saw on his computer? He might be seeing someone already or be interested in someone else," Bucky pinches the bridge of his nose. "Plus, I know from experience that no matter how much he might seem to like me, a guy with a kid can turn out to be a bit much for people. I don't want to get hurt. I don't want Alex to get hurt. She adores Steve and I don't know if I can risk it."
"But I'm telling you, nobody's getting hurt anytime soon," Natasha chimes in. "You're overthinking, Yasha. Those are all valid concerns but you know what the counterargument is?" She takes a small break but she's not expecting Bucky to respond. "Steve's a good guy. He likes you. He likes Alex. He came to a primary school dance recital after knowing you for like a week just because you and Alex asked him to. Even if he doesn't want a relationship, it doesn’t mean that your friendship has to end. From all you've told me, he doesn't seem like the kind to trample on your hearts like this. Give yourself some time, but promise me you're gonna think about it, okay? And call me if you work yourself up into an anxious mess again, okay?”
“I will try not to be an anxious mess, but I’ll let you know. And I’ll think about it. Thanks, Tasha.” Bucky says.
“I love you no matter what, you dumbfuck. Bye.”
Bucky barely manages to say it back before she hangs up. He shakes his head with a small smile and retrieves his charger cable from behind the bedside table. As he plugs his phone, he accidentally knocks down the drawing from Steve. He picks it up, staring at the soft lines for who-knows-which time. His thumb gently traces the “Get well soon, Buck! x” scribbled at the bottom.
Looking at it, Bucky imagines the moment when Steve was writing it down. In his mind, he sees both Steve and Alexandra at the kitchen table, both leaning over their respective pieces of paper, focused on whatever they’re drawing. They are smiling, chatting about whatever common interest they’ve currently discovered. It’s a very nice picture. Enough to make Bucky’s heart ache.
Because Natasha is right. This is exactly what Bucky craves and what he’s been ignoring for years. That domesticity, that warm feeling one gets when looking at someone they care about. That happiness. He can almost imagine himself joining the picture he’s created in his head, walking over to that table and dropping a kiss first on Alex’s head and then on Steve’s, before he starts preparing the dinner. It feels right. 
Maybe it’s not usual to imagine this calm, family life with someone he’s not even in a relationship with. Most people probably think of tons of other things, things that are not so… settled. Not as serious. Sometimes they never reach this part. But Bucky has figured a while ago that it doesn’t really work for him. He already has a family. And this family means everything and more to him. If he ever was to date, he has to make sure that the person would fit into his and Alexandra’s life. He has to skip ahead to make sure it’s worth going through the dates and the passion and all the work a relationship requires, without it all ending in a heartbreak. But Steve… 
Steve fits so well into this picture, it scares Bucky a bit. Because this would be even harder to let go, if things didn't work out.
It's pretty clear, now that he allows himself to think about it, that he has some feelings for Steve. Besides the friendliness and sympathy, that is. They're the romantic kind and they're still fresh and shy but they're here. And Bucky has absolutely no clue how to deal with them. It's not even that surprising, he realises. Because how could he not catch feelings for Steve? For the kindest, most thoughtful and most selfless person in the world? For someone with his heart made of gold, who always knows how to make Bucky laugh? Someone who gets so passionate about the things he loves and just as much about the ones he despises? Who cares deeply, laughs with his whole body and who next to all this softness and kindness, is also a stubborn little asshole? Who — and this is the most important of all — adores Alex and whom she adores just as much?
Bucky's heart was a lost cause from the start.
Steve has a lot of qualities that Bucky would fall for if he looked for a partner. And that he accidentally might have fallen for anyway. And that's all without even mentioning that Steve is so ridiculously attractive that it might've skewed Bucky's view on beauty forever. 
The point is — Natasha is right. That this could be a good thing. They could be a good thing. But what they have now is already good and Bucky really values this friendship. He isn't sure if pursuing a hypothetical picture in his head is worth putting it at risk. Because he still can't be sure if Steve's interested. For what Bucky knows, he's kind and caring towards all of his friends. It doesn't mean that Bucky and Alex are special. 
He can almost hear Natasha's voice in his head, calling him an idiot and yelling that he won't know until he tries. Which is right, since Natasha always is. It doesn't help him stop the — partially excited but mostly terrified — somersaults his insides make. With a small sigh, he puts the drawing on its place by the lamp, flicks off the lights and burrows himself under the covers. He doesn't have to have everything figured out straight away. Letting himself even consider it is a big enough step for now, he decides as he drifts off to sleep.
.
The next day is Bucky's last day at work before the Christmas break. He doesn't really have much to do, just finishing some last updates and dealing with whatever paperwork he was putting off earlier. Most of the time, he chats with Scott, who has been wandering aimlessly around the institute for the lack of work and eventually landed in Bucky's tiny office. They've been chatting about their Christmas plans — nothing too elaborate for both of them, just simple time at home with their families — and now they started discussing where they should go to grab some lunch. Just as Bucky almost convinced Scott that they should go to this sushi place down the block instead of the Italian place, there's a knock on the door.
Bucky sends his friend a confused look.
"It wasn't me," Scott raises his hands in defence.
"Come in," Bucky calls after another second passes. It's probably someone having a last-minute computer problem or one of his co-workers wanting to drop by with Christmas wishes.
Except, when the door cracks open, Steve's head pokes in. Its hair is messy, its cheeks reddened from the cold and its lips spread in a smile.
"Hi, Buck. And hi Scott, it's nice to see you again," he says. "I'm not interrupting?"
And because Bucky's brain is still processing the fact that for some reason Steve's come to visit him at work, Scott's the one who says, "Not at all, come in."
Steve hesitates for another second. Bucky's brain finally kicks in and he smiles which is apparently the invitation Steve needed, because he finally fully walks into the office.
"Hi, Steve. I didn't expect you here," Bucky says, his smile growing bigger.
"Well, you should. Because after our talk yesterday, I decided to bring you lunch," Steve says, proudly showing a big paper bag in his hand. "I told you you haven't seen shit, and especially not overdramatic me."
This makes Bucky laugh out loud as he shakes his head in disbelief. How is Steve even real?
Scott is watching them with a slightly confused but endeared smile on his face. Before anyone can say anything, he gets up from the chair, slapping his thighs as he does.
"Okay then, I'll leave you to it," he says, walking towards the door.
"There's plenty to share, if you want to join us," Steve offers, because of course he does. His gold-heartedness wouldn't have it any other way.
But Scott only shakes his head at that. "Nah, I'm in the mood for some sushi today. Thanks, though."
"Asshole," Bucky narrows his eyes at Scott. "I hope you'd choke on it."
His friend only laughs at that, "Enjoy your lunch date! It's been great to see you, Steve. Merry Christmas."
"You too, Scott. Say hi to Hope and Cassie from me."
With one last grin aimed at Bucky — and a very pointed look behind Steve's back — Scott leaves them alone. Bucky tries not to dwell on the fact that Steve didn't even bat an eye when Scott called it a lunch date.
"Why should he choke?" Steve asks with a chuckle.
"I've been trying to talk him into going to that sushi place for almost twenty minutes before you came," Bucky sighs and then notices that Steve is still hovering by the door. "Come on, take your coat off and sit down. I can't believe you've brought me lunch."
Steve shrugs off his coat and leaves it on the hanger by the door, next to Bucky's. Today he's wearing a maroon sweater that really suits him and a pair of dark jeans. He pushes his sleeves up before he digs into the bag and Bucky tries not to stare too obviously.
"Someone's got to make sure you eat, since after yesterday I've gotten an idea you're not good at it yourself," Steve says. "Guess it wasn't necessary. Sadly, I don't have sushi but maybe you're in the mood for Thai?"
"Depends on whether you've brought me the dumplings or not," Bucky answers.
Steve laughs in response and takes out one of the boxes and hands it to Bucky. "I did. I also have green curry for you? I hope I remembered correctly that you like it? If not, I'm sorry, we can switch—"
"Steve." Bucky says solemnly, placing his hand on Steve's forearm, to stop him from fumbling with the food. "You not only brought me food but you remembered my favourite after I mentioned it one time. You are an angel. You should hide it better, because you make us mortals look bad."
He's only half joking. Steve does seem like a higher being of some sorts and it's unfair that Bucky's poor heart is supposed to handle it. It doesn't do a great job. Especially not when Steve laughs, his eyes crinkle so much they turn into thin slits.
"And I am the overdramatic one?" Steve asks, unpacking the last things and finally sitting on the chair across from Bucky. He's still smiling but there's a blush colouring his cheeks and creeping down his neck.
Bucky bites the inside of his cheek to contain a grin but the truth is, he's immensely proud of himself for pulling this reaction out of Steve. To stop himself from saying something stupid, he digs into his food.
"By the way, how did you find me here?" Bucky asks, his tongue sticking out a bit in concentration as he fishes for a dumpling with his chopsticks. 
"Clara let me know where your office is, she was very helpful."
Bucky furrows his brows. The surprise makes him drop his dumpling back into the container. "Clara, as in Clara Oswald, our receptionist? How do you know her?"
"I don't. We've chatted for a few minutes and I explained why I'm here and she told me how to get to you."
"Ah, of course it took you about five minutes to charm her and get into a government building just like that," Bucky chuckles.
"I didn't charm anyone! I just politely asked and she helped!"
If it wasn't Steve, Bucky would take it as fake modesty. But the truth is that Steve really seems to be completely oblivious to the effect he has on people. It’s endearing to see him do this.
"So here's when you do your cool space stuff?" Steve asks, changing the subject.
"Here's when the real scientists come searching for help when there's some IT-related issue," Bucky corrects him. "I don't do anything cool. I make sure all the data is where it's supposed to be and that whatever equipment they need is ready and working properly. Or part of it, Scott's an engineer and he takes care of the rest. I do get to read some space facts first hand, though."
"That's still cool space stuff for me," Steve shrugs with a small smile. "What kinds of things are you researching here? Like some particular aspects of outer space, or—?"
Normally Bucky would just give the shortest answer possible. People usually get bored quickly when he starts talking about it. But something in the genuine interest on Steve's face, the way he is looking around the office — which is nothing special, the only nice things are the sky maps and some spaced themed art  — makes Bucky think that maybe Steve wouldn't mind getting the longer answer.
"Well, we mostly study the weather. Both the Earth's and the one in the solar system, like the solar winds and magnetic storms, stuff like that. We study exoplanets and try to discover or guess as much as we can about them," Bucky says. "I helped to create simulations that predicted how they could look like and develop, to see if there's a possibility to inhabit them. We did it by basically dumping all the data we have into an elaborate computer programme and waiting to see what comes out." Bucky laughs and Steve does too, but he has the look of utter fascination on his face as he listens. "And all this helps with some more down-to-earth stuff — pun not intended. Like, we've done tons of studies in climate change."
"That's—," Steve starts when he makes sure that Bucky's done. "All of this sounds incredible. And you're a part of all those amazing things, how great is that?"
Bucky feels that his cheeks start to burn. There's another reason he usually sticks with the short answer. As much as he's proud to be working here and as much as he loves it, the impostor in him always makes sure that he understands the difference between his work and the actual research, analysis and all the heavy lifting that the astronomers do. He helps, of course he does. He does a great job at it, but there's still a difference. And such praise usually makes him squirm uncomfortably.
"And don't even try to get all modest with me again," Steve warns as if he's been reading Bucky's mind. "You've said that you don't do cool space stuff and then admitted that you've helped to create a program to imagine how exoplanets can look and change. So I know you're full of bullshit."
Steve raises an eyebrow in what's supposed to be an unimpressed look but it's not even close. The smile and the curious, bright eyes that are stating right at Bucky are destroying the effect. The blush on Bucky's cheeks only deepens, especially as Steve adds. "I've been impressed before but— Wow. Really, you guys are doing such incredible things here, I can’t wrap my head around it."
"We really do," Bucky agrees, eventually.
The beaming smile Steve sends him feels like a reward Bucky didn't know he deserves.
"So you've always liked space? Or was it an accident that brought you here?" Steve asks.
"No, I've always loved it. It's just so fascinating and there's always so much more to learn about it," Bucky doesn't even try to hide his excitement. "I've never fully understood all the science behind it but I loved staring at the sky, trying to find all those constellations and planets and galaxies. I've figured a way to somehow connect it to what I was good at and make it my job. Which is amazing. But now I mostly stare at the computer screen instead of the stars. "
He doesn't want to sound ungrateful but he must admit that it does kill some of the fun. But not even the astronomers simply state up at the sky to admire the view.
Steve only nods in response. "Alex mentioned that you guys went on a trip out of town to watch the stars. It must've been great."
"We did! It was like… almost 2 years ago, I think? I borrowed one of those fancy telescopes they have here. I needed to pick Alex up every time, cause she was too small to reach it," Bucky laughs as he brings out the memories. "It was fun, we should do that again, sometime. But I don't have much time now, so it’ll have to wait."
"It does sound great," Steve smiles that soft smile again. "I hope you'd find some time as it gets warm enough for such trips. I bet Alex would be delighted."
"Yeah. I'll let you know if that happens, in case you'd like to join," Bucky says before he can think better of it.
There's more of the childlike excitement on Steve's face as Bucky mentions it so maybe it wasn't that bad of an idea.
An actual bad idea comes out of Bucky's mouth a bit later, just as Steve is getting ready to head out. Bucky's lunch break is long gone and forgotten, because it's been two hours that Steve spent here. He apologises for staying so long and the assurances that Bucky didn't have any more work to do doesn't help.
"I'm sorry for taking your mind away from your responsibilities, but it was great spending time with you," Steve says.
So of course, because Bucky's heart doesn't get any chance to regroup, he doesn't have time to think before he blurts out. "We should have dinner together."
It's certainly not something Steve was expecting to hear. He just stares at Bucky. Before he has a chance to say anything, Bucky continues, "I mean. You should come for dinner. Clint and Nat are always around for a dinner, sometime between Christmas and New Year's. If you don't have any plans, it would be great if you came. But it's okay if you can't or don't want to."
Another moment passes and Bucky tries not to squirm under Steve's gaze. Luckily, Steve finally blinks and smiles as he says, "No, Buck, of course I'd love to come! I don't have any particular plans, will probably hang out with Sam for most of the break but I'll have plenty of time."
"You could take Sam with you," Bucky adds. He desperately tries to regain the control of his own mouth. "It'd be great to finally meet him."
"I'll let him know, I bet he’d be happy to come, too. Thanks again for the invite," Steve smiles as he cracks open the door. With a little wave, he walks out of the office. "Bye, Buck. Have a nice day."
"You too, Steve," Bucky says to the already closing door.
When Steve's gone, Bucky exhales heavily through his mouth as he leans back in his chair. Both of his hands go up to thread through his hair, tugging at it lightly.
Apparently, he has a dinner to prepare.
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taglist: @steverrogers​ @till-the-end-of-the-line-punk​ @buckyshappyending
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obligatoryabditory · 4 years ago
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May as well do this at once and get it over with
Day 1:
Started at: 60kg
Currently at: 47kg
Goal : 43kg
Ultimate goal : 40kg
Honestly I just want my body proportions to look good. If I don't see any stomach fat and actually have a defined waist line maybe I'll be satisfied...
Day 2:
164cm , I don't mind it but I wish I was a taller
Day 3:
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I've posted this before but I'm in love with everything. The tiny waist, how incredibly flat her stomach is , no large bulging thighs and flawless skin texture.
Day 4:
Being forced to stop or not being able to lose any more
Day 5:
I've always been the chubby girl in my family, but I didn't mind until I started noticing how big I was getting and how much smaller everyone else was. My medium clothes couldn't fit and I had to start wearing large. When I looked down all I could see was fat. Even family members commented on it but in a light hearted manner. When I downloaded tiktok it really opened my eyes to how large I looked in comparison to very pretty girl on my fyp so I decided to change that during quarantine.
Day 6:
Kind of. I would binge for a whole month then hyper restrict for another. I've started to stop that now and I rarely binge except once a week where I'm forced to as I'm visiting family who shove food down my throat
Day 7:
They don't know my goals but they've noticed I've lost weight and are starting to get suspicious and try to force me to eat more
Day 8:
I used to follow a Chloe Ting 2 week ab program but elongated it to be for a couple of months. I don't work out anymore since I got busy but we've just bought an excersise bike which I plan to use every other day
Day 9:
I remember a moment where my cousin came and pinched my stomach and called me pregnant. Felt like crap after and had to hyper restrict the next day.
Day 10:
Sugar, oil and bread.
Day 11:
I don't follow enough to have one but I enjoy most of them
Day 12:
I live with my parents so I have to eat with them at lunch which is usually chicken and rice or curries and rice. For dinner and breakfast I'm in control and try to make low calorie meals.
Day 13:
I mean .... I'm here aren't I. I'd guess un-healthy but I do try to not eat under 800 cals just because I need energy for school
Day 14:
40kg and hopefully soon! Maybe a month and a half. My body takes a while to lose weight in general so we'll have to see.
Day 15:
No but I do avoid beef which may have helped. I'd love to be pescatarian though
Day 16:
Around quarantine
Day 17:
I would say no because I think I'm still in control. Like I know that eating 300cals a day is bad for you so I don't think I'll ever reach that point
Day 18:
Anything carby like pasta or pizza...
Day 19:
A month ago ✨
Day 20:
I haven't tried out any fad diets but if I ever do it'll probably be intermittent fasting
Day 21:
Small
Day 22:
This is my lowest weight ever
Day 23:
Yea... tiktok and my Pinterest feed
Day 24:
They make me uncomfortable. You should never be pro a mental disorder but I understand why people use it and tag with it. I don't think I'm going to.
Day 25:
No I have sensitive teeth so I'm afraid I'll ruin them because I'll get addicted
Day 26:
Not having to worry whether I'll gain weight easily. Fixing one ugly part about me. Having an hourglass figure. Being seen as petite.
Day 27:
I use my sheer will power to refuse it but sometimes it's inappropriate to do so cause they'll worry so I eat and burn it off later or I'll plan my eating a day ahead. I like cooking and baking and being around food though so I typically make things for other people so I'm not tempted to indulge. And my stupid brain enjoys the idea of fattening those around me while I stay thin?? It's very stupid and effed up but it makes me feel better and I hate it. Occasionally I'd let myself eat something if it'll prevent a binge
Day 28:
No I don't really like them but I do want smaller thighs in general
Day 29:
Beauty is subjective but these are the traits I find beautiful;
- curly or wavy hair
- hourglass figure
- flat stomach
-even skin texture
- body is hairless
- no pore in sight
- straight white teeth
- coloured eyes ( including light browns)
- no acne or acne scars
- no eye bags
But sometimes I find people beautiful even when they don't fit this standard in my head
Day 30:
I have a cat, I like to sing (badly) , I wanna be a doctor one day (ironic), love to draw and doodle, bilingual, avid anime watcher, I read more fan fiction than fiction , enjoy martial arts, scared of porcelain dolls.
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interstellactic-studios · 5 years ago
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Howdy guys! I have some news today for y'all, just a small update on some stuff but I'd appreciate it if y'all who still exist here would read!
Here's a watercolor piece I finished recently uwu sorry for not posting here often anymore, tumblr mobile is how I mainly accessed tumblr and it's like super shitty.
Even after I switched from apple to Samsung when I got a new phone back in July, so I've hopped around a little and I think I'm going to officially start using Instagram a bit more. I'll still post here occasionally for y'all who don't have Instagram and are too lazy to make one though so don't worry XD
Ok so now to some important news! If any of my mutuals have dms with me or people who actually contacted me (unlike some who basically haven't talked to me since they made a request which is a bummer) about request have dms open then message me on whether or not you have an Instagram so we can maybe do more stuff there? ^_^" I'm not joking about tumblr mobile going to shit for me: notifications don't work like at all and are super janky, my dms are oddly changing order even though I haven't touched some in a long time, and sometimes I cant even make post cause the button just poofs even when I close and reopen the app >_<" if I have a dm with you or y'all have wondered why I keep dying, when I started using tumblr less is when these problems started. I literally am having technical problems that carried over to a completely new and different branded phone than my old one. I'm sure I'm not the only one here with these kinds of issues, and of course now most of my notifs are literally pron bots following me or liking random old ass post of mine.
I'm super disappointed in what's happened to tumblr tbh since I didn't think this hellsite could actually get worse ._. Except now it's in quality too rather than just a bunch of its content. I'll stick around because the tumblr website itself still works pretty decently for me, but I'm not on my laptop for media as much so activity will be slowed until I can figure out how to rise from the grave permanently oof. Also irl life has also kept me super busy and my art time is restricted to school sketchbook doodles. This art here is literally art I did for my AP class and i put many days of at home work into it as school days =_=""" I'm hella tired. Good news is you'll guys probably can see more improvement on my art since I am taking 3 art classes and I'm gonna try and post my work from those at least.
Also I know I've typed a bunch so I apologize for the long ass message most of y'all probably won't read and probably won't even see tbh, but I got one more very important thing to say. Everyone who has dropped contact with me who had request, I am no longer going to waste time and effort into them since I have asked many times for those who haven't talked to me to rekindle a convo since a while back all my dms were poofed and I messaged who I could track down. I've had no new people come up since the ones I've messaged myself so all those requests will be moved to my discarded/incomplete folder and I will no longer work on them until you come out of the dark and ask. I've gotten behind on art request for other people because of time wasted on these and I owe several people art now, which I apologize for those who have been waiting btw I've been doing my best but things keep getting difficult. Please understand that I'm not being rude by doing this, I just can't overstress myself anymore over these because it's hindering my ability to create for others and I feel hella shitty about being pushed behind and basically being ghosted. I'm going to use all the free time I have working on art I owe to people who still speak to me, figuring out job stuff, trying to set up a college portfolio since these are taking up most of my time. Once I completely finish these hopefully I can start doing more of what I love on here and other social media sites than just for school and shit.
Ok that's finally it now phew! Sorry again for the long post, and some cursing oof, I hope y'all have a fabulous day/night! ^w^
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