#slightly unrelated maybe but one time i was playing this roblox sensory room game (the shitty one with stolen assets) | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

steakout-05 · 2 days ago

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kinda fucked up that every social invitation to infodump from autistic communities feels like a lie or that it's specifically designed to exclude me from that invite. "feel free to infodump!!" gets processed in my head as "if i say anything i will be ignored or ridiculed or mocked and generally face backlash for not being autistic in the "correct" socially acceptable way therefore i am not included in this statement and will just stay silent as everyone else gets to say stuff. after all the only safe place to infodump is in my own little space", no matter how safe the space actually is. alien amongst aliens so to speak

#even in autistic communities i feel like i don't belong there. like i'm just too much or too little for everyone #(usually too much)#slightly unrelated maybe but one time i was playing this roblox sensory room game (the shitty one with stolen assets)#and i found this book in the game about a bunch of g1 mlp stuff and i was like ''oh my goodness this reminds me of the giant sundance''#like that really rare and obscure big sundance pony they made that's kinda lost media?#and i sorta infodumped about it in chat only to be met with silence as everyone else was chatting about someone's pomni outfit or something #and on god i think that was the most alone i have ever felt playing fucking roblox of all games #i know people are not obligated to respond but like. i felt completely and utterly isolated from everyone else.#it felt like i wasn't the ''correct'' kind of autistic to be included with everyone #it just pissed me off cause i'm feeling alone by being autistic. in a video game. made FOR autistic people. ffs i just can't win can i #anyway yeah i don't play that game anymore. it actually kinda sucks ass anyway like it has a lot of problems #(such as stolen assets and infantilising autistic people and restricting the AAC board to one tiny corner of the room)#(among so many other issues)#can't even feel comfortable autism'ing around other autistic people because what if i'm not doing it correctly #the autism alien metaphor is real guys 😭#autism #autistic #actually autistic #autistic things #infodumping #social difficulties

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