#slept through my alarm but it was actually good. isn't that crazy how things go wack out of plan but life is still good?

[bataranqs]

5 Happy Things

May 24, 2024

hehe it's the 24th and the year is 2024

my digestive system is working great and i can eat food with basically no problems yayyy

did some work today!!

got to help a friend <3

got to study in a cafe!

[bigscaryyanderewriter]

Liebling (Medic x Reader)

3k words

Tw: Medical stuff, dubcon, abuse, bondage, blackmailing, blood, yandere themes

This was commissioned!!! The first one I have gotten and I would love to thank the lovely person who paid for my writing. I definitely enjoyed writing this..please, gimme money aghaghaghagh ❤

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The rain poured as you shuddered, the bus stop where you were staying that night was lit up by the flickering street lights while you waited for the train. Dark clouds loomed in an ominous sort of way as the storm seemed to suffocate all light that wasn't from it. It only just occurred to you that the bus may not even be coming with the weather being as it is. Your phone glowed in your hand as you tried to browse away your worries that came from being here.

You needed to get out.

You needed out of this town and away from the hand that you had been dealt by the shitty folks of the city. Anywhere was better than here. You knew that, ignoring the frantic texts from your mother. She was begging you to come home, to think about and telling you how crazy you were being.

The funny part was, she was the one who let your father throw things at you. She didn't stop him from hitting you physically and using his sickeningly good way with words to jab at every fault you had. It was worse than anything when he wouldn't hurt you. He would just rip you apart as he told you about how you shouldn't have been born, you were definitely not his child and he could never, ever see you doing anything with your life.

He didn't care about you.

You still were nursing your arm as the shirt you wrapped around it was… Less than dry as blood soaked the already rain dampened fabric.

Wincing, you looked at your hand and then nearly jumped at the shaking of any umbrella. It was a man in a trenchcoat, a pair of glasses on his face and dark hair. He was rather handsome with a good jaw and strong features, but his eyes were on you… It was an intent gaze as he was seemingly to analyze what form of foreign creature you were.

A frown formed on your face as you saw how he kept staring, "Just what do you think you're looking at? Can't a girl catch the midnight train going anywhere?" Your voice cracked with slight emotion as you turned your head away. It wasn't until he moved closer that you went to look back.

911 wasn't going to be coming, you wouldn't call for help and you hurriedly went to stand with your bag of necessities as the man grabbed your hand.

"Please, please let go of my arm!"

"Frau, your arm will get infected with zhe way you've wrapped it und I don't think you want that."

You froze, realizing the amount of blood you had bled unto the bench and pavement beneath you as your hands shook. It was surreal as he slowly began addressing your wound and a hiss escaped you. Clearly he didn't care about your actual pain as he did his thing.

He asked minimal questions, but he did talk about the weather and such. You mainly "mhmm"ed and said yeah. It was actually soothing to hear him speak, because soon you were trying to stay awake. Helping you, he informed you that he was going to take you to a nearby place and get you something to eat. You needed to stay awake.

The night went on. You learned his name was Ludwig and he was from Stuttgart, Germany. You began to feel better. The way he seemed so generous was… It was lovely, he was genuine in how he treated you. You feel the way he isn't trying to pity you, while you just dump your issues onto the table as you both eat. His brows furrowed in, frowns come and he even offers to let you stay with him. You couldn't accept. He gave you his number to call if the wound gave you more trouble though and it was… You would take him up on that.

He was very persistent on you contacting him again though, just to continue talking. You were told how you were… less annoying than the average person and it was flattering, you supposed.

After he left, you slowly made your way to a motel. Scraping together the money from working was beneficial as you now sat in a room with warmth in it. Your sleep was dreamless that night, but it was better than nightmares.

You didn't even notice how a red umbrella followed you there that night and how a pair of intense, blue eyes kept on you when you had figured they were long gone.

The cut was healing alright, but it still hurt. You had actually been texting Ludwig, who helped you that night. Mainly for info on how to deal with your wound. He was more than helpful as you took care to follow his instructions.

Money was running low for you though, as you only had enough for another day in the motel. You would be on the streets and have to figure it out. It was not a comforting thought as you racked your brain.

It had been more than once when your dear medic had offered to house you, but you… You weren't sure. A man you didn't know and the potential of bad things happening. His words seemed to convince you otherwise though. He was a doctor, he was safe. Nothing would happen if you weren't interested and he just wanted to help you.

The "if you weren't interested" part made your face heat up as you had over thought the idea of Ludwig had formed some sort of… Affection for you, other than platonic. He did seem to have more regard for your life than he seemed to have for others. It was a bit alarming the first time he talked about his patients, but it was just the world you live in. You could accept it, especially when so many worse individuals dwelled in it.

It was a confusing situation considering how he hardly knew you. Though, men were men is what you could only mutter as you thought of how your father spoke of women. A disgusting, dehumanizing way of thinking about women.

The second day on the streets after realizing you couldn't live like this… You went to him. He welcomed you with open arms, even feeding you a warm meal. New clothes were provided, even an actual bed. You couldn't stop thanking him as you tried to not cry.

His way of calming you was interesting and you often find yourself with his strong, dexterous hands on your arms. Ludwig was a very hands on type of person, never handsy in a way you didn't like though. It was those touches that made butterflies sometimes erupt in you.

The way he just seemed to have a grip on every aspect of your life in such a short span of time was intimidating though. It was almost natural after a while though. The giving up the reigns on how you lived was… It was comforting, not having to worry about so much.

When days passed and you came up with a more stable plan, you told your host about it. You would work and go live in the motel while saving money. They did have a room for rent and it was relatively cheap. It was a good idea in your opinion and he seemed to like it, but then you fell down the stairs.

You didn't notice Ludwig coming down as you did and he lost his balance, accidentally sending you down. He said sorry, but you almost thought he was more upset about your new injury. You had a concussion and your knee hurt terribly when you were helped back upstairs by your friend as you wept, clinging to him as a support.

It wasn't brought to your attention how he quietly enjoyed those noises.

You had bruised yourself and it was soon better again, but you told him that you still planned on going through with your plan and he soured.

"You can't be on your feet yet, you should just stay here und let me help you. It will all be fine. You don't need to waste your time on such things." He would say as he continued to make various excuses. It was overbearing.

The way he would say suggestive things to you always made you blush and ignore it.

"With the way you get hurt, it is almost like you want to stay with me."

"You might as well live here und let me take care of everything."

"Oh… That wince was positively adorable."

It was brushed aside, until you realized just how trapped you were here… Just like home, in a way. Suffocating in this gilded cage, with Ludwig. You needed some time alone. Time to think. The hallway floor creaked as you went to leave, somehow feeling like you were doing something bad. Cream colored walls seemed to stand eerily while you slipped on the jacket Ludwig had gotten you. Opening the door, you heard his voice.

"Where are you heading off to so late? You know it is dangerous at night and it will most likely storm." He spoke casually, as if he is warning would stop you.

"Ludwig, I'm… I need to think about things alone. I have been relying on you for too long and it isn't because I want to leave. It is because I feel too guilty staying. You have a life to live and I'm just… Burdening you." You admitted some of what you thought as you went to look back at him when you feel the pinch in your neck.

"Sh sh sh… You'll be awake soon enough and we can continue our talk." His accented voice whispered in your ear as your world turned fuzzy and warm. It was the sense of panic that drained from you until you woke.

You woke up thrashing and in a cold sweat as you shouted out into the darkness. Your body was bound against the table as you tried to angle your head to look around. Your clothes were replaced with a gown of sort. A hospital one. No one was around. "Ludwig! LUDWIG!"

A chuckle resounded as a door creaked, showing the light from the hall and the light clicked on.. Ludwig stood in the bright fluorescent beams, a pair of, what seemed to be, scrubs on as he adjusted his glasses, looking down at you on the table as you feel your heart pounding within your chest.

You froze up as you look at the glare obscuring his eyes, a wide smile on his face. "Wunderbar! You know, you slept for quite a while and I didn't want to disturb you. Just with you looking so peaceful, but now that we are at this point… (Y/N), it is time for things to change in our relationship."

"Ludwig, uhm, change? We aren't even- We are not in any relationship." You were confused and you just wanted to leave.

"Hah… That doesn't matter. You continue to live with me, I will… Make sure you continue to live."

"Live?!" You say, becoming more and more scared.

"Ja, you know how things are here. I believe that we can be… Happy, I suppose." He said as he pulled on a pair of gloves.

"Uhm, what are those for?" The crack in your voice was embarrassing.

"Well, you see. I am going to apply local anesthetic to your arm und insert a small tracking device-"

"What?!" You look at him with wide, fearful eyes as you strain even more to escape.

"Oh, it will be only a little incision on your arm. Come yourself. It will be over before you know it."

His hands were going to grab a syringe beside you and he was seeming to begin the procedure.

"I will be injecting zhe anesthetic into zhe area where I will be working. You shouldn't feel anything, but if you do… Tell me immediately, ja? Ja. After making an incision once you are numb, I will insert this chip." He pulled a small chip off the table and showed it to you, "Afterwards, I will sew you back up and you'll be no worse for wear."

"Ludwig, I don't want you to do this, please! I-i'll do anything, I promise." You didn't know what else to do other than beg, because… If you didn't, then there was no stopping him.

"This is only a security measure. I know you don't love me und it is fine that you don't. All I need is for you to stay with me." He admitted as he held your arm still. Tears slowly ran down your face as you lay there, a choked noise escaping you.

It was the brush of lips against yours and the pinch of the needle in your arm that made you freeze, forgetting to cry out. The medic's lips moving and making you near melt for a second. It was blissful. Until he pulled away, leaving you panting and red faced.

"You drive me absolutely crazy, Liebling." He murmured before clearing his throat. "You may want to look away for a bit or look und watch. Watch what I'll do to you."

You quietly looked as he finished numbing the small area and grabbed a small scalpel-like device. Opening the skin as his hands gripped you where you could not feel. It was… Nauseating. You knew you shouldn't have watched. There was no reason you should do this to this to yourself and the way it looked was odd. It was like you had began disassociating. No pain made you relax as you watched with tiny, salty tears running down your cheeks.

Soon it was over though, you must have passed out when you saw the amount of blood flowing. You had never done this before. The numbness was still there in your arm, but two stitches now decorated it. There wasn't much you could do, aside from torturing yourself further by ripping open the stitches. You weren't sure about your willpower to do that though as you looked to see your captor sitting near you as he was reading something.

Your throat was dry as you looked at Ludwig, knowing he probably didn't know you were awake. He seemed zoned in on it as he leaned into his hand, which held his jaw.

"Ludwig?" You murmured with a bit of hesitation and those blue eyes were on you. The same intense eyes that always saw through you. Saw through everything, every facade, layer of skin and sinew, into your very soul it seemed. It was odd and disturbing.

"Oh, Liebling, you're awake. How are you feeling?" He moved closer as his hand touches your face. No longer gloved. It was warm and firm, real. This was real.

"I just, I want to go home." You whispered, teary eyed as he rubbed your cheek.

"You are home, darling." His lips were in yours again and locked into something more passionate than you had expected. The way he was now pressed up against you was suffocating and you were dragged directly into this kiss. It was… Sinfully delicious. You did like Ludwig, you did have something there twisting inside you. It was your battling mind that whispered how much better it could be if you were just… Malleable to his wishes, willing and wanting.

Dragging his hands through your hair as you were taken into a kiss of teeth, lips, spit and need before you bite him. His lip bleeding before he did the same, blood mixing with yours. It was messy and drove you to become a panting wreck.

You didn't want to be here. None of this was normal, but you weren't sure how you would be considered normal either. This was safety to you. Hate filled kissing, despising in silence. Your mother did it and who said you would wind up any different. There was no saving anyone here. Your legs were adjusted and spread.

Bodies pressed against one another as you panted, his hands pulling your hair and making noises babble out of your mouth. It was the air that passed slowly over your privates before Ludwig was in between your legs as you feel the growing excitement between the two of you.

His hand ripped away the gown as it exposed your naked body, hands moving to your chest as he carefully began to touch you. You were eager to respond to those touches as he moved his mouth away from yours. Your lips ached, probably bruised and bleeding as his own latched onto your nipple. The other was toyed with as you reeled. "Please, please, please, Ludwig."

You feel his finger dance between your thighs, rubbing them before sliding them against your lips. He groaned before slipping in a finger, thicker than yours and the sensation of it curling made you twitch. More, you needed more.

"Liebling, tell me. Do you feel just how much you want me or are you just trying to ignore it? Your body is honest, betraying you completely. How does it feel? Knowing you're squeezing and lubricating yourself up just for me?" He was rubbing your clit as he continued to add fingers. Three were in as you began to buck your hips and moan.

"Such a slut, if I had known how you wanted me. I would have done this long ago. Everyone has needs und I would have gladly taken care of yours. Go on, beg for it. You've been so good so far, I want to hear it."

Your face was flushed as the way his words struck more in you than you thought they would. It was not enough. "A-ah, Ludwig, please, I just, I want you. I don't care, I want you right now!" You gasped and writhed beneath him, whining when he pulled his hand out of you. Emptiness was so overwhelming as he wiped his hand on your thighs, spreading them wider.

You craned your neck to look down, but were shoved back. His hand gripping the side of your head to keep you down, his other rubbing the something blunt and firm against your labia. It was nudging your clit and making your whimpers come out again. "Ludwig, please."

He pushed in, making you groan along with him. Quiet grunts sounded above you as he spoke in low, harsh german. It was… You loved it. Adjustment was small, but he didn't seem to mind your slight discomfort as he only could feel bliss at the tight, hot grip your walls provided. Soon he was rutting into you and his hands held underneath your knees, pushing your thighs against your torso. You couldn't move yourself with him overwhelming you and the restraints still on your upper body. You wish you could wrap your legs around him though as your dragged your nails down his back. Draw blood and make him scream along with you.

Battering your walls, his teeth and lips met you shoulders and neck. Digging in and sucking hard. Covering you in marks of ownership, making you cry as he drove you insane. He was cursing and whispering in a low, nasty tone. You could find him slipping into English again though. "Mine, you're going to be mine forever, Liebling. Mmm.."

He was panting above you as he continued to do more shallow thrusts, just enough to drive you close to your edge as you cried out below him. "Cum on my cock, do it. I want to feel how you can't take it anymore. Go on, Liebling. Go ahead."

He hissed as you did cum, your own moans spilling out, "Ludwig, Ludwig, a-ah, oh my god. That, ah, you- Fucking hell! Pleasssee…" You panted and grunted as Ludwig's voice lowered into your ear.

"I'm so close, I'm going to make you my own. I won't ever let anyone take you away. My most valued possession, my sweet liebling. A-ah hng…" He let out little pants as he got closer, his face twisting as he pulled out and moved his hand along himself. His body tensing as hot ropes of cum painted your stomach as you panted and laid with satisfied exhaustion fading away. Horror filling you as Ludwig loomed over you, wiping your stomach off and undoing your restraints.

"(Y/N), I'll need to clean zhe bites on your neck und after a rest. We'll get you to a bathroom, but for now. If only you knew how beautiful you look. Oh, my sweet liebling."