#sitting here staring at one of my life's passions in the eyes like 'did I make a grave mistake?'
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eatanorange · 10 days ago
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me reminding myself that american grad school isn't built for neurodiverse people, esp online: I'm gonna break things down in to manageable pieces like they told me in orientation :) everything will work out when I do it exactly as planned :)
also me, fighting the shame of not doing things 'perfectly on time' with a baseball bat bc god forbid it takes me all week to do all the readings and lecture content before I have enough of a grasp to engage in a discussion about it AND engage with my peers who are also discussing and adding new ideas at the same time: DOING IT BAD IS BETTER THAN NOT AT ALL. DO IT BAD ITS OKAY. JUST DO IT BADLY I'M ON MY HANDS AND KNEES.
anyway fanfic writing has become very motivating all of the sudden :)
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aajjks · 3 months ago
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Fan(cy) You (m)
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synopsis. Meet your biggest fan a.k.a. your biggest nightmare.
pairing: idol yn x fan!jungkook
warnings. DÁRK CÓNTÈNT, psychótíc bèhàvíóúr, sàsàèng jk, yándèrè thèmès, nón cón kïssïng, dèvótïón, 18+ thèmès
note. Let’s welcome another JK. Also, this was my older fic. Written for Jimin. But I decided to publish this as a JK fic. It was called devotee before. I hope you all will like him!
•••
His heart could explode in his chest.
Actually, it might’ve already did. Jungkook took a deep breath as he tried again to calm himself down. Walking almost fast as he bumped into his fellow— no.
There was only one devotee of you. And that was Jeon Jungkook.
Your biggest fan. Your biggest supporter. Your only lover.
Oh! How heart was shaking in his chest. “Please welcome the fantastic Y/N L/N!!!” His heart stopped.
You— You walked in all your glory. He covered his mouth as his eyes widened at you. You were here!!! You were finally here.
You finally came for him. After such agonising wait... you were finally closer to him.
“Excuse me sir.. can you stop shaking?” His eyes averted to the random person sitting beside him. Jungkook simply rolled his eyes. “Fuck off, shitface.” He spoke in a cold tone. And looked ahead.
Where you sat. Just right infront of his eyes. A huge love dazed smile started creeping up on his doll like features.
God you are so ethereal.
Were you real? His breath hitches in his throat the more he stared at your face.
His computer couldn’t/never ever did justice to your actual beauty.
He was going to sue the computer company.
It wasn’t really the first time that he was seeing you, oh no. He saw you a long time ago. When you had just debuted as a lead singer of the group.
He knew you the longest, and the most.
Actually more than your own self. Your favourite colour, your every single group EP. Your singles. Your group comebacks, your favourite drinks, your favourite chocolate brand, your favourite clothing, makeup brands. Your favourite bubblegum flavours, your favourite artists, the languages you could speak, your address, your house structure, your car. Your past relationships. Secret or not.
He bit his lip so hard that it started to bleed at the thought of your past relationships. The metallic taste on his tongue, the taste he was so familiar with.
...how could you date someone else? When he was there? How dare you. It was the most horrifying time of his life.
Crying day and night, not eating, tearing everything apart.
Trying to hate you.
But he couldn’t. He could never bring himself to hate you.
“Umm. You know, it’s your turn now...” the weirdo from before spoke again. But this time Jungkook smiled brightly. “Y-Yes!” He quickly stood up and fixed his outfit.
It was his turn now!!! He walked with excitement. HE HAD BEEN WAITING FOR THIS FOR SO LONG.
Admiring you from afar was pure torture.
“Hello mr!” You smiled sweetly. Your eye smile making his heart do so many flips.
God he could kiss you right now!
He really could...
“H-Hi” He meekly replied... getting lost in your beauty. As you signaled to sign his album. His gaze never left your lips.
“I-I love you!!! I love you so much.” He confessed suddenly as you giggled while signing his album. “ aw really? I’m so happy that you do. I love you too.” You replied sweetly.
“What’s your name mr?” You looked up at him. Waiting for his response but he just went silent. he looks weirdly fit, familiar… those tattoos.
You asked again, to the tattooed man, sweetly patiently. when he didn’t reply, just waited for a few moments and that’s when you started noticing his features.
He’s pretty attractive
However, your trail of thoughts was cut short when he grabbed your face and pressed his lips to yours in a passionate kiss.
Gasps were heard as your eyes widened in shock, your brain taking in the situation as he moaned in your mouth. His hands grabbed your face tightly.
You tried to push him away, the security tried too but he didn’t budge.
His dark hair was all you could see, when you felt his tongue licking your lips. “Mphm!!!” You tried to push him away but again... no use.
He kissed you like starved man. And after what felt like eternity he finally pulled away.
You stared at him in shook, while he just licked the lipgloss from his lips. “I’m Jungkook. Jeon Jungkook.” He finally introduced himself.
And your heart stopped. “W-What?!” You stuttered as flashbacks hit you. He just smirked in response.
“You can’t be!” You exclaimed again. “Y-You’re that Sasaeng?!!” You shivered in fear.
Jungkook just giggled. The infamous Y/N L/N’s crazy fan. No. Crazy was an underestimate. He was sickly, dangerously obsessed.
The only one who could do anything for you. “The one and only, my love.”
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theemporium · 4 months ago
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[3.1k] after a spell goes wrong, you and lando are forced to hide the fact that oscar isn't quite himself during media day at the british grand prix. it goes about as well as you would expect ft. mediocre magic, a surprised max verstappen and a cute black cat.
[find other fright night specials here]
.
There was a lot more to being a witch than people expected. 
It wasn’t all hocus pocus, waving a wand and standing around a bubbling cauldron whilst chanting in an ancient language under the moonlight. Don’t get it twisted, that was still a part of it. But there was more than cliches and stereotypes, things were a lot more complicated than reading from a spellbook and swishing a stick around. 
It was hard. 
Sometimes, it felt like that one subject in school that just never clicked. You were reading the textbooks, doing the homework and listening to the teacher but, no matter what, you couldn’t seem to get it quite right. Sometimes, you would eventually get it. 
And sometimes, you were left in situations quite like this one. 
Ideally—at least in the eyes of your grandmother—you would have done what every other young witch did at your age. You would have finished school, joined a coven and trained under the watchful eyes of the elders until you had successfully and safely mastered your magic. Upon reaching adulthood, a witch’s magic became more volatile, more unpredictable, more potent. It was vital for her to learn to control it before it overtook her. 
Unfortunately for your grandmother’s sake, you didn’t want to settle down in a coven. You wanted to explore the world. You wanted to learn to control your magic through experience, not through old scrolls and grimoires. You wanted to live, not just survive and learn. 
You did not want to be chained down by ancient rules and practices. 
However, as much as it pained for you to admit it, you kind of wish you had listened to your grandmother around about now. 
It was a funny series of events that led you to meet the two Mclaren drivers. It was somewhere during two race weekends a year ago, a meeting that happened by chance but changed the trajectory of all three of your lives. It was instant connections, late nights spent in hotels and a passion that was far from fizzling after your two weeks together were over. 
And it bloomed. 
You wanted to travel the world and they wanted to show you the world. You wanted to experience life beyond a witch’s expectations and they wanted to share that experience with you. You wanted someone to share your heart with and they wanted to be the ones you trusted with it. 
It felt like the planets aligned, the stars shone and the universe worked its magic to help you cross paths with Lando Norris and Oscar Piastri. It felt the invisible string of fate weaving its way through your hearts to bring you together, to keep you together, to intertwine your lives to this very point. 
And, despite the stories whispered in young witch’s ears about the taboos of humans, Lando and Oscar accepted you for who you were, they loved you for who you were. The tales of humans hating and despising and disapproving of witches were squished by your boys in seconds. In fact, they were your biggest supporters in your journey to learn and control your magic. 
Maybe sometimes a little too supportive. 
“Oh my god.”
“Lando—” 
“Oh my god!” 
“Stop panicking!” 
“How can I not fucking panic?! Oscar is a fucking—” 
“Shhh!” You hissed, slapping your hand over your boyfriend’s mouth before he altered the whole McLaren hospitality. You could feel your heart pounding in your chest, the bubbling of feeling of ‘oh, I fucked up’ becoming more and more prominent. “Just…calm down for a second.” 
Lando let out a squeak of disbelief as he gestured towards the orange cat blinking up at the both of you, sitting in the spot where Oscar had been standing moments ago. 
“Fuck,” you whispered, staring at the orange cat. “Oscar?” 
The cat meowed in response.
“Oh my god,” Lando wheezed, his eyes comically wide. “I can’t believe you turned him into an orange cat. He is definitely more of a black cat, if anything.” 
You glared at the Brit. “Oh, sorry, let me just remember that for the next time I turn our boyfriend into a fucking cat!” 
Lando’s mouth parted. “Uh, babe—” 
“What?”
Lando only nodded back towards the cat, only to find Oscar the orange cat now very much black. 
“What the fuck?” You breathed out, the panic starting to resurface. 
“Change him back!” Lando hissed. 
“Okay, okay!” You rolled your shoulders, eyes narrowing slightly in determination as you stared at the black cat in front of you. “This is fine. I turned you into a cat, I can turn you back into a human.” 
“Ideally soon,” Lando added, staring at the cat with a suspicious glare. Like he didn’t quite believe it was really Oscar. “It’s Thursday. The media team is gonna want us to start filming stuff soon.” 
So, no pressure. 
Sometimes, you wondered if your grandmother placed a small, inconvenient curse on you to punish you for not listening to her advice about joining a coven straight after school. 
Because that was the only explanation you could come up with behind your horrendously, inconveniently timed bad luck that would be turning one of your boyfriends into a cat on media day of the British Grand Prix—arguably one of the most important for the team and the boys in the racing calendar. 
It was a purely unpurposeful accident that led to you accidentally turning Oscar into a cat, but you thought you had a little more skill and experience to be able to change him back with the same ease. However, forty minutes later and three breakdowns later—all from Lando, thank you very much—told you that accidental magic was a lot harder to fix than one would expect. 
Or, at least, than you expected. 
“This is pointless!” 
“Babe,” you sighed but the boy was already pacing the small driver’s room already. 
“He’s stuck forever! We will never see that stupid swoop ever again! We will never hear him say ‘Webbah’ ever again!”
“Lando,” you tried again.
“Oh my god, we have to tell Mark! We have to tell everyone! How the fuck are we going to tell everyone?!” 
“Lando!” 
The boy’s mouth quickly snapped shut, his wide eyes staring back at you as you pushed yourself up from your spot on the couch, crossing the room and gently cupping his face. Your thumbs soothed over his cheeks, feeling him relax a little under your touch. 
“Relax, baby,” you whispered softly, your lips twitching upwards as he took a deep breath. “This isn’t ideal but I have messaged my grandmother. She will call back and help us sort out this mess and nobody has to know.” 
“What about the team?” Lando questioned, his brows furrowing together. “They are gonna notice—”
“We will just have to cover up until Oscar is human again,” you said with a determined nod. “It can’t be too hard, right?”
“Right, yeah, of course,” Lando nodded. “Except for one minor problem.” 
You frowned. “What?” 
“Oscar is gone.” 
Your head snapped around, expecting to turn and see the black cat curled up where he was less than a few minutes ago. But he was nowhere to be seen, the driver room now empty apart from the two of you and the door out to the rest of the paddock somehow wiggled open.
“Fuck.” 
“If I were a cat, where would I be?” 
“Keep your voice down!” 
“I’m just trying to get into the mindset of Oscar right now,” Lando murmured in response, his lips turned downwards as he rubbed the spot of his arm you just slapped. “If he’s even Oscar anymore. What if he’s stuck with a cat brain forever?” 
You rolled your eyes. “Magic can’t do that. He’s still Oscar. Just…Oscar with very strong cat-like urges.” 
The two of you had managed to sneak out of Lando’s driver room without alerting anyone else on the team that something was wrong. None of them questioned where Oscar was, just simply waving at the two of you walking past as Lando panic-babbled some bullshit about wanting to go see Carlos in the Ferrari hospitality to sort out some details for a golf day before the McLaren media team stole them away for the rest of the day. 
Fortunately, they bought it. 
Unfortunately, it’s a lot harder to look for a cat in a paddock when no one can know you are looking for a cat.
“Should we get treats?” Lando questioned, keeping his voice low. “Or like…a laser?” 
“Yeah, because that will be real subtle,” you murmured with a snort. 
“We need to get into the mindset of a cat,” Lando said with an odd sense of certainty. 
“He would probably be somewhere warm,” you pointed out, tilting your head back to look up at the grey clouds starting to cover the sky. “But that's more of an Oscar thing than a cat thing.” 
“Oscar did say the other day he was going to hog the tire warmer blankets if the weekend had shit weather,” Lando suggested, his brows furrowing together. “What are the chances he’s just…sleeping there?” 
You glanced down at his watch, your frown deepening. “Let’s hope high.” 
“Pspspsps!”
“What the fuck are you doing?” 
Lando glanced up, a sheepish smile on his face. “Trying to make him feel relaxed, you know? Like we are one of his people.” 
You raised your brows, taking in the sight of him crawling through the stacks of tires on all fours before shaking your head, deciding it was easier to just leave it rather than ask any questions. 
Your grandmother hadn’t responded to any of the messages, the team were starting to blow up Lando’s phone and the two of you have had to dodge a handful of McLaren employees scouting the paddock for their drivers. 
Safe to say your plan wasn’t working the way you intended. 
“Oscar!” You called out, crouched down as you joined Lando in searching amongst the tires. “Oscar! Come on! We have fish!” 
“Ew, we do?” 
You shot the boy a look.
“Uh, yeah!” Lando quickly cleared his throat. “We have a lovely piece of salmon just for you!” 
“Fuck, maybe we should have brought some fish,” you murmured under your breath.
“What the fuck are the both of you doing?” 
You let out a noise of surprise as your head snapped up, your eyes widening a little at the sight of Max Verstappen standing a few feet away from you. But more surprisingly, the sight of a familiar black cat curled up in his arms. 
“Osc—” You winced when Lando nudged your side with elbow. “Cat! You found him!” 
Max blinked. “Did you just call him Oscat?” 
You smiled sheepishly. “Yes, I did, didn’t I?” 
“Odd name choice,” Max commented, lightly scratching the cat underneath his chin. “I didn’t know you got a cat.”
“He’s new,” Lando retorted, quickly scrambling to stand up and brush his knees off. “Uh, where did you find him?” 
“I heard meowing behind the motorhome and found this little guy trying to puncture some spare tires,” Max grinned, cooing at the black cat. “He’s a menace, isn’t he?” 
“Tell me about it,” Lando grumbled before clearing his throat. “I mean, thanks for finding him! But we will take it from here!”
“You should bring him over some time,” Max said as he handed the black cat off to Lando. “Sassy probably won’t like him but Jimmy might—” 
The cat let out a god-awful screech before he could be placed in Lando’s arms.
“Bastard,” Lando glared at the cat.
“We’ll think about it!” You quickly spoke up, ignoring Max’s odd expression as you quickly took Oscar in your arms. You didn’t miss the way Lando’s glare hardened when the black cat easily curled into your arms, purring away like nothing was wrong. “But we have to go.” 
“Media duties,” Lando supplied with a grim smile.
“Tell Oscar I said hi.” 
Lando only hummed, glaring at the black cat once more before the two of you headed back towards the McLaren garage.
Lando was pretty sure his team were going to think he had food poisoning again considering he had told them he had needed to go to the bathroom before they started filming. 
And the fact that had been forty minutes ago. 
“We can’t stay here forever,” Lando muttered, staring at the black cat curled up on his hoodie. Despite refusing to be held by the Brit, Oscar seemed happy to nap amongst his clothes. Lando was trying not to take it personally. 
“I know, I know,” you sighed, frowning as you flipped through your notebook. It was no grimoire, but it had little notes and lessons and spells you had learnt over the years. Your grandmother insisted it was pertinent for a witch to record her progress properly, to take extensive notes to pass on to the witches after her. You were starting to see her point now. “Why have I never turned a person into a cat before?!” 
Lando paused. “Was that question rhetorical or…?” 
You lifted your head to shoot him a look.
“Rhetorical it is,” he nodded, slouching back against the couch. “What if you just abracadabra your hands at him until something eventually happens?” 
“Other than the fact that is an incredibly stupid and idiotic idea?” You retorted before sighing, flashing him an apologetic smile at your biting tone. “It wouldn’t be safe for him or me. I don’t know what spell I would be adding onto and we don’t know what effects it could have on Oscar. For all we know, it could make this change…permanent.” 
The black cat lifted his head to meow in response. 
“He doesn’t seem like a fan of that idea either,” you added, your lips twitching at the way Oscar managed to look so judgemental even in cat form. 
“He doesn’t have much of a brain right now,” Lando grumbled, shuffling away when Oscar hissed at him in response.
“Stop antagonising him,” you chastised.
“He’s the one who won’t let me pet him!” Lando huffed in response. “He’s my boyfriend too.” 
“Is this about Max holding him?” You deadpanned.
“Yes!” 
“Well,” you started, quickly turning back towards your notebook. “In his defence, it was your fault that he got turned into a cat.”
Lando blinked. “How?”
“You were the one who kept pushing me to make you an ice lolly!”
“And you were the one who fucked up the spell!” 
“And that was because you kept tickling me—”
KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!
The room fell dead silent as the three of you stared at the door. 
“Lando? Is Oscar with you? The press conference starts in five minutes, you’re both needed right now.” 
The Brit turned to you with a panicked look.
“Go,” you whispered with wide eyes. “Stall them. I’ll work on Oscar.”
Lando’s brows furrowed together. “Are you sure? I can—”
“Go, we’ll be okay,” you assured him, quickly leaning in to peck his lips. “Promise, baby.” 
“Okay, okay,” he nodded, swallowing harshly. “I can distract them. I can hold them off.” 
That was perfectly possible and capable. 
It was not, in fact, possible or capable.
The journalists were like vultures the second they realised the second McLaren driver was nowhere to be seen. Lando assumed his presence and the three other Brits on the couch would be more than enough for the media, especially for Silverstone weekend. It turns out he was wrong. 
So very wrong. 
“Question for Lando!” 
The boy resisted the urge to roll his eyes, instead slumping further back the couch in hopes it would open up and eat him alive. He noticed Alex and George sat to his left, snickering away with their microphones sitting beside them considering they hadn’t been asked a question in the last ten minutes.
“With Oscar out of contention for the weekend, are we to expect McLaren will be focusing on your standing in the championship?” 
Lando frowned. “Oscar isn’t out for the weekend.” 
“No one has given us a reason for his absence in this conference,” the journalists retorted. “We assumed he was unwell. Do we have reason to believe he isn’t here for another reason?”
Lando bit his tongue. 
“He was seen this morning arriving in the paddock,” another journalist added. 
“Then I’m sure you saw he was here and well,” Lando said, a fake and forced smile on his face. 
“Hey, if you need a driver for that second McLaren,” Alex spoke up as he tried to divert the attention away from Lando—because bless his heart, he is a good friend—after picking up his microphone for the first time in the conference. “I know a guy.”
Lando’s smile felt a little more genuine this time. “Yeah? There’s a few qualifications he needs to meet.” 
“Be slower than you?” Alex guessed, a few chuckles breaking out amongst the crowd.
“Yeah, if he could hold everyone back, that would be great,” Lando grinned. “Just swipe everyone out whilst I just zoom off.” 
Alex cackled, leaning into George as he shook his head fondly. 
“Lando!” A journalist called out and Lando felt his whole body tense up. “Do you think Oscar’s absence shows a lack of commitment to the team?” 
Lando could feel his face scrunch up. He knew his emotions were probably written very clearly across his face if the bubbling anger inside him was telling enough. But before he could lift his microphone and say something that would have the PR team sighing deeply at his snarkiness, the door to the conference room slammed open as someone came running in. 
“Sorry, sorry!” 
Lando’s anger quickly melted away, replaced with something quite like knee-buckling relief at the sight of Oscar settling onto the couch beside him, his cheeks flushed and his hair dishevelled on his head. But he was there and he was human and that was all Lando needed to know right now. 
At least, he tried to tell himself that as Oscar supplied the journalists with some very vague excuse as to why he was late.
“How?” Lando muttered under his breath, leaning into Oscar so the microphones wouldn’t pick up on their voices.
“Grandma messaged back,” Oscar said with a small smile. “She seems confident it worked fine. But she was also three drinks deep into happy hour so, take it with a pinch of salt.” 
Lando raised his brows. “Do you feel okay?” 
“Yeah, Grandma said there shouldn’t be any lingering side effects,” Oscar assured him, shrugging his shoulders. “I’m fine. Promise. I’ll explain later.” 
Lando only nodded in response, shuffling a little closer to Oscar until their knees were nudging against each other. Oscar was there and he was human and he was touching him now, and that was what mattered. He could wait another fifteen minutes before finding out more, before wrapping his arms around his boyfriend and muttering about needing to buy a black cat before Max texted him with more questions. 
Oscar was fine now and nobody knew the mess they had accidentally created. 
“Next question is for Oscar: did you just meow?” 
.
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mookiesspace · 5 months ago
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“ 𝑆𝑂 𝐵𝐴𝐵𝑌, 𝐿𝐸𝑇 𝑀𝐸 𝐶𝐴𝑇𝐸𝑅 𝑇𝑂 𝑌𝑂𝑈 ” 》》
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Ony x Black fem reader , 18+ MDNI , angst , implied cheating , strong language , spanking kink , choking kink , pet names ( daddy, mama, baby ) , just nasty ass smut !, ( not fully proofread !! )
There you were sitting on your king-sized bed alone watching criminal minds at 2am, once again. it's been exactly 1 month since your harsh breakup with your ex-boyfriend Onyankopon. ever since then, you've hit rock bottom completely. you really thought he was the one, different from the other low life niggas you used to mess around with, that's until he showed you that it was all just a made up fairytale you so eagerly believed in nothing but lies and heartbreak. how could 2 of the best years of your life turn out to be the worst so drastically.. this so called love shit just wasn't for you. you wanted nothing more than to weep away into your big ass bed doing everything in your power to forget about him. well.. that was untill you got a knock on your apartment door..
"Hey mama.." you recognized that smooth honey like voice anywhere.. but was it really him? There infront of you stood a handsome 6'2, dark skinned figure. Onyankopon. Why was he here? does he not remember what he did to you, to us?? after all this time why would he show up now. Thoughts filling your pretty little head with deep regret and anger as you stand still infront of the tall man. "Hell no." you hissed while attempting to slamming the door infront of you before feeling a strong push of the door opening it wider than before. "Listen mama, I jus' wanna talk. please, y/n I mis-" "Cut the shit ony. I'm done with you, now get the fuck back before I call my brother on yo goofy ass." Is he fucking serious right now you thought. He couldn't be, he just couldn't. Before you could push him out and close the door he steps forward once more. "y/n I'm serious. jus' gimme 20 minutes with you. please mama, then I'll be gone." he said pushing the door closed behind him, locking it in motion. "Ony-" just a minute ago all you wanted to do was punch him in his stupid ass face and cry till you forgot all about him. now he's standing right infront of you looking sexier than ever, his perfect glossed two toned lips and dark brown eyes making you fall for him all over again. all you could do was stare at the tall dark skined man before you. "20 minutes Onyankopon. then I want you out my house, you understand me?" slowly seeing his cocky smile unfold revealing his blinged out gold grillz he nodded. "Yes ma'am." both knowing this'll be the longest 20 minutes of your life..
"shit ma.. she really missed me huh?" fuck.. how did this happen?? it was only supposed to be a quick chat.. so why are you letting ony slam and runt his girthy dick into you so lovingly? and why does it feel so.. hypnotic?.. just as you were lost into thought you feel a harsh 'SMACK' onto your lovely plump brown cheek "a-ah! ony shit!.." "stay focused mama." fuck it's so deep how can you stay focused when he's fucking you like this!?! "m-mhm tryin' ony!" he let's out a low chuckle while throwing you military position before picking up his pace. "ONY!!~" "pussy so good ma.. fuck-" harsh grunt and loud moans escaping the both of you as he fucks you deeper than before leaving behind all the once bad memories and thoughts of your past to wash away. how could the man you once loved so dearly fuck up a relationship so passionate turn into this.. hate sex? no.. you can't hate him not while he's filling you up so well.. not like this..
"s-shit ma.. yeah that's right take this dick baby" "ngh.. fuck daddy..~" how long has it been? 30 minutes? and hour? fuck two?? you lost track of how long you've been beneath him. and how many times you came.. but he doesn't fail to bring you back to reality with nothing but a strong hand grabbing your neck ever so tightly "eyes on me ma." he huffs out a shaky breath drawing your attention back on him and those lustful dark brown eyes.. which brings you back to another blissful orgasm "onyyy!" you yelp out in pleasure "c-cant no morreee.." hearing and seeing your fucked out state brings min over the edge more than before "you tryna tap out already baby?" he groaned before pulling out only to slam back in before you could even form a sentence "s-shi- A-AH!..~" "well ian done ma, we gotta lot of catching up to do. you an i both know that." he laughed pulling your body closer to him. your faces were now so close.. lips so far yet so damn close from one another.. god was he always so damn sexy? shit.. you couldn't think straight mind to damn hazy from everything.. "one more ma.. gimme one more" he moaned "I need it.." breath getting shaky and sharp god how could you resist? your warm pussy was sucking him in and it felt so damn good. to good.. he grabbed onto your hips harshly before pulling you atop him. now you were upright sitting pretty on top of Onyankopon looking like nothing more than perfect. beautiful soft brown skin glistening perfect in the moonlight.. bonnet thrown on the edge of the bed.. puffy perked up tits all swollen from being sucked and bit on so so many orgasms ago.. god even your pussy was all puffed up and swollen from getting brutally fucked into! but you had one more orgasm to get through.. one more before everything went back to how it was before.. the tall darkskin mad did nothing but let out a low chuckle before throwing his hands behind his head while giving you low steady eyes... "go'nhead baby. ride yo dick" was all he said.. and all you could do was place your perfectly manicured hands atop his flexed abs and ride him till you physically couldn't anymore!
"ohhh shittt daddyyy!!" god did you look so beautiful riding him.. so fucking perfect he thought. mouth slightly agape, eyes all teary.. tits bouncing in such a smooth repeated rhythm, what could get better than this? you clawed at his chest as you felt yourself coming closer to your own release and apparently his. "-mm sooo close daddy.." you moaned out lovingly "shit.. me too ma.. let it all out fa ma.." those words right there sent you into one of the most pornographic states yet. "fuckkkk!!~" you both let out slutty moans in unison tension growing hotter by the second! and for a split second.. once again.. it was like everything in the past had never happen.. like he was still your precious boyfriend who you had loved for the past 2 years.. the Onyankopon you knew.. could things really be different this time? "I love you ony.." you muttered lowly before collapsing onto his hard chest while drifting off only to soon be smothered into his grasp so lovingly..
if only little ole you knew that this wouldn't last forever, cause by morning it'll just be one regular old day.. why would he settle for you?, when he could have anyone he wanted. after all.. you fell for his charm last night, you always do. so why couldn't anyone?
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the-oblivious-writer · 1 year ago
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Get Her Back!
Clarisse La Rue x Daughter of Athena!Reader
One-shot
Summary: You and Clarisse have always had a reputation for the rollercoaster you both called your relationship. While on another one of your "breaks," you decide you want to mess with her
Warning(s): Swearing, Clarisse & r are hella toxic, jealousy (on both ends but mostly jealous!Clarisse), making out (nothing more is hinted at, just Clarisse & r kissing like the problematic girlfriends they are), & arguing
Notes: Wooo this one got a bit heated before I knew it. Hope you enjoy
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You and Clarisse La Rue… how does one sum up your relationship with the Ares kid? You and her were known for being on and off, arguing almost as much as you made out. You were both in a toxic, heated, yet passionate, relationship. 
Oh, how you loved each other. 
You met Clarisse the first summer you got to camp. It didn’t take long for you to discover what you had gotten yourself into. She argued with you about everything, she had an ego and a temper and a wandering eye; you couldn’t help but be attracted to her, even when she was so obviously lying about her height. 
The first time you left Clarisse was in the spring, that was when your current dynamic truly started. You lasted about a week before you were back in her arms, forgetting how you threw all her stolen clothes out your cabin’s window just a few nights before. 
You were currently going through another one of your breaks with Clarisse while you laid down on your bed, reading as you tried to ignore another little lecture from your friend. 
“All I’m saying is that I don’t understand why you stay with her, you know? The second my boyfriend did me wrong, I kicked his ass out the door. For good,” he said, sitting at the end of your bed.
“That’s because you didn’t have what me and Clarisse have,” you responded, looking up at him from your book. He shrugged, mumbling, “Whatever.” 
“Do you love or hate her? I honestly can’t tell anymore. One second, she’s the worst human being to ever exist but then the next, she’s the love of your life, the woman you’re gonna marry.”
“I guess it’s up and down,” you replied in a nonchalant tone before looking back at your book.
He lightly chuckled, shaking his head a bit as he said, “I need to learn when to give up trying to figure you out.”
Later that night was the bonfire. You didn’t really feel like attending but your friend had basically begged you to go. Just five minutes in, and he was already flirting with a girl from cabin ten. You were staring off into the fire, red solo cup in your hand, when you suddenly heard somebody sit next to you. You turned your head to see a dark haired boy, looking at you with a smile as he spoke.
“Hey gorgeous, I’m Steve. I think I’ve seen you around before. Athena cabin, right?” He asked, his eyes never pulling from you. You didn’t feel like entertaining him. You weren’t stupid, you knew he was flirting with you. But thoughts of not reciprocating his flirtatious attitude quickly disappear when you see Clarisse watching from the corner of your eyes. 
All night you had to watch Clarisse cuddle up with someone who wasn’t you. And all night you refused to give her the attention you knew she was hoping to get out of it, your pride and stubbornness wouldn’t allow you to. So when you finally get the chance for that sweet revenge, you don't hesitate.
You looked at the boy next to you, putting on a sweet smile and placing a hand on his knee. “Yeah, cabin six. What about you?” You slightly tilted your head, looking at him as if he was the most interesting person on earth.
“Hermes cabin,” he responded. He suddenly grew a bit shy under touch, but welcomed it nevertheless. “Hey do you uh… wanna get out of here? I know this cool spot I could show you.” You knew what that was code for; do you want to make out?
“Sure, sounds good,” you winked at him before getting up. He held his hand out for you, which you took as you both began to walk away from the fire. Clarisse's eyes were on you the whole time, clenching her jaw as she watched you walk with him hand in hand. She ignored her siblings’ confused looks as she walked over to you before you and Steve could go any further.
“I think she’s good here,” she said—not asked.
“Um, I think she can make her own decisions. She’s a big girl, if she wants to go, she can go,” he responded. 
“I don’t know who you think you are, but she’s not leaving with you.” She glared at the boy with storms in her eyes, her fists balled up. By now your hands were separated from the boy’s, watching the entertaining scene in front of you with a knowing look on your face.
“Excuse me–” Before he could get himself into any more trouble, you walked to Clarisse’s side—she instantly put her hand on your lower back.
“Listen it was nice meeting you Steve, but she’s right; I should really get going; it’s getting kinda late.” You gave him a fake apologetic look. “Maybe I’ll see you around some other time?” You managed to get out as Clarisse was practically dragging you away. 
“What’s your problem?” You said to her when you both finally made it to the cabin—her cabin. 
“My problem? What’s yours! You know Steve is a douchebag, we were literally laughing about it last week,” Clarisse let out with an aggravated tone. 
“Why do you care so much? Shouldn’t you be thrilled that somebody else is stuck with my high maintenance ass!” She only rolled eyes, shaking her head. “Yeah, you really think I wouldn’t bring that up!” You dryly laughed.
“Oh my Gods,” she mumbled before continuing. “You are the most frustrating woman I have ever met!”
“And you’re the most hot-tempered woman I have ever met!” You shouted back, throwing your hands up as you stepped closer to her. “You’re a hot-headed asshole!”
“Well it’s better than being a stubborn know-it-all!” She took a step towards you; your faces were now no more than inches apart. You both stole a glance at the other’s lip before a moment of silence. Suddenly, your lips connected. She was firmly gripping your waist while one of your hands found itself in her hair as the other held the back of her neck.
“I fucking hate you,” you mumbled breathless against her lips. She pushed you up against the cabin door; Gods, you didn’t even care that you were still outside and anybody could just walk by.
“I fucking hate you too.” Her kissing was hungry, passionate. Blood was rushing through veins, your cheeks were warm, and butterflies had erupted in your stomach. You could feel Clarisse feeling for the door's handle for a few seconds before you reached behind you to turn it.
You both went inside, Clarisse kicking the door shut. You could feel her warm touch as her hand grazed the skin of your lower back. She walked you backwards toward her bed, never daring to pull away. 
“Fuck, I love you,” you let out as Clarisse moved down to your neck.
“I love you too, don’t you forget it,” she murmurs against you. 
Clarisse La Rue may have been narcissistic, stubborn, hot-headed, and pretentious, but you were your mother’s daughter, so maybe you could fix her.
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A/N: she could abuse me, beat the dog-shit outta me, cheat on me, hit me with her car
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cheoridoll · 2 months ago
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distraction —
pairing: robby keene x reader
warning: none, just something cute
words counted: 1.582
includes: just Robby like a puppy after his love
playlist for the fic: spotify. | forgive the bad english! it's not my first language.
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A toss or a distraction, Robby felt useless at this point in the day, sitting on the couch at his half-brother's house, while staring at the turned off television, totally disconnected from his current reality, only remembering how he was used by a girl. And damn, he liked it. He couldn't deny that he was like a puppy, obeying all the orders of the tough rookie girl, the one who arrived suddenly, the distant female cousin of the Larusso family. Because Daniel loved her, she was like a daughter to him.
At first, he just wanted revenge, now he finds himself in love with his own karma.
"Hey bro, grab your backpack, let's go to school" — Miguel said, throwing the backpack against Keene's rigid body, waking up to life, as his father would say.
He forgot so much about the world outside his head, that he also ended up forgetting why he was awake so early. School.
"Shit! Miguel, did you do the french work?" — like a light bulb, it lit up his mind. He spent so much time focused on Larusso that he left aside his obligations, like an idiot in love, preferring to remain in the illusion of his own daydreams.
"Yes, I did." — he agreed, transforming his expression into a somewhat confused one, eyebrows drawn together and mouth half open.
"Put my name? Please!" — he asked with a huge pout on his lips, making Diaz understand and laugh loudly at the gesture.
"Okay, but stop making that weird face."
Robby was getting more and more electric as the hours passed, excited for class after lunch. Arts had become one of his recent passions. He loved painting feelings, the most recent being the common mix of love and fear, which he affectionately nicknamed "chocolate and pepper." Love creates artists, it created Robby, and disappointment makes them better. But deep down, I hoped it would continue as an unfinished creation.
Keene continued rambling in his head, and all paths ironically led him to her, to her beautiful hair, penetrating, oblique and hidden gaze. He hated love, he hated being attracted to someone who held him up like a spear, a fucking distraction.
"Where are you looking, Keene?" — Robby's head went straight to the empty food plate, making the blow have a greater impact, his face burned with pain, his throat wanted to scream, but he couldn't.
"Shit Kyler, get out of here you idiot." — Miguel accompanied him.
Kyler had been thinking about the guy with the clear eyes in recent days, vowing to give him a good beating one day, also stating that he would at least see where the blow came from. No sooner said than done. After the crash, he became dizzy, it wasn't like he had the strength to stand up there, his face was fucked up, he lost consciousness, he even lost sight of the fact that one of the shards of glass had flown onto his shoulder. Damn the day he decided to wear a shirt with a loose collar. I lifted the table, still tipping sideways and my vision was blurred, holding his belly, as if that would give him more balance. Kyler saw the biggest opportunity, turned his body and kicked the other person's heel, knocking Robby to the ground like a sack of potatoes. Miguel tried to advance towards the other, but was stopped by the idiots, cowardly held by three people. While struggling, Kyler threw the first kick.
"Oh, Kyler!" — a female voice tore through the place.
There were feelings in the speech, not so positive so to speak, perhaps hatred, anger with a hint of jealousy.
"Only I can mess with my blond." — ran towards the brunette, kicking him away from Keene, his kicks were high, Kyler didn't really know how to attack at that moment, nor did he know if he should, opting to take small steps backwards while using defense.
"Are you such a coward that you can't just slap me?"
He attacked her with hatred, threw her body to the ground and stood on top of her torso, while holding the thin collar of the girl's blouse, ready to throw the first punch. She smiled, not an ordinary smile, a devilish smile, and the surprise came with her tears, a desolate and fearful look.
"What's going on in that cafeteria?" — shouted the director, who with heavy steps walked towards Kyler, taking him off the girl.
Behind him was Daniel, who was helping prepare the dance that night.
"Uncle, I tried to defend my friend, but when I saw..." — he burst into tears, being lifted from the ground by his uncle, who hugged him carefully.
"Fine my love." - Larusso left the girl leaning against one of the tables, heading towards the body of the former apprentice. With compassion the silence against his body, the support between his arms in the most comfortable way he could.
"Are you okay, Robby?" Nothing was said, he was still dizzy from all the blows and the coffee didn't help his anxiety at that moment.
"Uncle, I'm going to take him to the infirmary, okay?"
"Okay, princess, I'm going to go to the principal's office and sort out this mess." — The older man left, while Larusso placed Robby's arm over his shoulders, in order to avoid another contact between the other person's body and the ground.
"Robby, look at me, tell me it's okay." — He requested. "I..." - he paused, completely rethinking that moment.
"Take me to the infirmary straight away."
Without saying anything else, she took him there, the silence killed them, I missed their diverse conversations. In the end, Robby felt a little hurt, beyond the physical.
"Tell me sweetie, why are you like this?" — asked the one with locks, bringing her fingers to the other's injured face. "I know you're strong and you'd take him down whenever you wanted."
"You. I'm like this because of you." — he took his arm away and threw himself on the sofa in the infirmary.
Karla, the nurse, was at least scared by how deformed Keene was, after all, he was at a school where practically every day there were around three students injured after a hidden fight. I'll get the ice. - was the only thing he said before leaving.
"What did I do, Robby"
"Everything, just answer me one thing before I tell you to leave this room and leave me alone." — He shouted. He was more upset than actually angry, in order to just take her away from his mind and heart for a few minutes.
"Am I what to you? Cheap fun, love." — he laughed to himself. "forget the last part, I must be some idiot that you only catch when you feel like it."
"What the fuck are you talking about?" — he raised his right eyebrow.
"I love you so much, and look, if I didn't show you signs of that, it's because I'm insecure. Robby, you have anyone at your feet, your exes are incredibly perfect, they fight well, they are beautiful... " —she sat next to him.
"I'm afraid of not being good enough like they were."
"I should slap you for thinking like that." — he joked.
Not that he had the courage to lift a finger at her, he loved her in a ridiculous way, which sometimes found it strange.
"I love you, I love you in a way that I've never loved anyone else and you can bet that you're the only one I want to have in my life, or better yet, build one."
"I called him, I'm not good enough to fight someone experienced yet." — she laughed, throwing his body against hers, to create a hug.
"You're over the top, Keene." — she leaned his torso, kissing the wound on the older man's face close to the wound.
"No, I'm just ridiculously in love with the new girl. In fact, how did you know the director was coming?"
"Needy. For you." - they laughed.
"Look, you kicked very well, I was quite jealous of what the highs were."
"I don't even know how I did that, I just wanted to protect you at any cost."
"Damn girl. I love you so much that I could go to hell just for you."
he didn't want hell, he wanted heaven, the roof of her mouth, to calm her busy and stressful days. The calm kiss, full of desire and passion no longer repressed, was everything they wanted and what they finally got.
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dragon-kazansky · 5 months ago
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The song in our hearts
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Lestat De Lioncourt x Female Reader
A musician with a heart that sings and an admirer who wishes to see his songbird thrive. Two beings in different worlds get caught up in each other when someone threatens to steal his songbird's spotlight. Loving Lestat isn't simple, and your life will never be the same again. What is eternity without chaos?
{Masterlist}
{Previous Chapter} - {Next Chapter}
Prepare to meet my plot device lol
Chapter Three - Third wheel
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You're sitting at your piano in the empty theater mindlessly playing notes. The melody is new, something no one had ever heard before. You had taken the opportunity of no one being here to come to your familiar friend and play the tune in your heart.
You were so lost in the melody that you hadn't heard the door open and close. Nor did you hear the footsteps coming down the aisle of chairs.
The call of your name as your music ending shortly, unfinished. You sigh and look up to see the manager of the theater waiting for your attention.
“Yes?”
“I hadn't heard that one before,” he says, smiling at you.
You sigh again. “Of course not. It's new. That's not why you came in here is it?” You ask.
He laughs. “No. It isn't. I want to introduce you to someone.”
You can feel yourself wanting to groan. He knew how much you hated actually talking to people, but you wanted to keep him happy. He was, after all, your only chance to perform.
You stand from the piano and hop down from the stage. Jack, the manager, rolls his eyes at you. He often tells you off for doing that during rehearsals.
You now take notice of the man behind Jack. He's about your age, sandy brown hair, green eyes. You look from him to Jack.
“This is Noah. He's a singer.” Jack states.
You nod and look between them both wondering why he wanted you to meet this man. Plenty of people come and go from this theater, you don't usually meet them all personally.
“Noah has a request and I think it's a fabulous idea,” Jack goes on. “How would you feel about playing for him while he sings? You could be a duo!”
You stare at Jack. Noah is smiling softly from behind him. He takes a step forward and you turn your attention to him.
“I adore your talent. I have seen you perform several times and every time I hear you play I feel like all my worries melt away. I want you to play while I sing. I think we could go quite far together, perhaps even be good enough to see the world.”
Those were some strong words.
“I play solo,” you say.
“Hey now, give him a chance,” Jack says. “Look, you're our best performer here. Most of our audience come to see you play your piano. I think it's time to switch things up and try something new.”
“I don't want to try something new. I want to do what makes me happy,” you tell him.
He says your name with a smile, but you don't hang about to listen. You flee the theater and seek refuge in your dressing room.
You're alone in your dressing room for a good few minutes before you hear a knock on your door. You expect it to be Amelie perhaps seeing if you're in here, but usually she just comes in. You don't say anything for a while, preferring to stay alone if it isn't her. However, the door opens and someone comes in. You turn and find yourself face to face with Noah.
You frown.
“I'm sorry, but I couldn't leave knowing I'd offended you. Please just hear me out.”
You sigh softly and turn around in your stool. Noah takes a seat on the table behind him. “I know music is your passion. I've seen you perform many times. To be able to sing while you play… that would be a dream.”
“I play solo.”
“I know… you said that. I just… I think we could be good together. Imagine what magic we could create together. How many people would come to see us?” He smiles wide, excited by the thought.
It is clear popularity is important to him.
“I don't care. Music is all I care about.” And making Lestat happy with your music, of course. After that evening with him, he has been on your mind a lot.
“You can still play your music, just allow me to sing over it. Let me voice meld with your melody.” He speaks sweetly. Almost too sweetly.
“No.”
Noah sighs and then nods. “I understand. I'm sorry I disturbed you.”
Noah takes his leave. You sigh and slump down at your dressing table.
That following Friday you're waiting to get onto the stage to play your beloved piano, especially knowing Lestat would be watching. Perhaps he would permit you to go to his house again to play a duet with him. You certainly hoped so.
While waiting for your name to be called Noah comes up beside you. He adjusts his cufflinks mindlessly in the corner of your eye. You do not spare him a glance, keeping your eyes focused on your favorite instrument ahead of you.
“Good luck tonight,” he says.
You didn't need luck. You just needed your music.
“I'm sure you'll amaze the crowd tonight.”
You once again don't respond to him. Noah chuckles. You hear your name being called and you take a deep breath before walking out onto the stage.
Upon reaching the piano you turn to the crowd, but you're not really looking at them. You're only looking for one face. You spot him up in the boxes. You smile softly when your eyes land on him. He must notice your smile because he smiles too. Knowing Lestat was there was a comfort to you.
Lestat appreciated your music. He understood it. He understood you.
You take a seat at the bench and take another deep breath. Your fingers hover the keys. You imagine for just a moment that Lestat is beside you on the bench. You think about that night in his house when you made music together and how happy you felt in that moment.
Lestat knows.
You begin to play, a smile on your face. You're so ready to give a performance to be proud of, to make this a night to remember, not only for yourself, but for your admirer too. You wanted Lestat to enjoy your gift.
However, this would be a night to remember for all the wrong reasons. As you get into it, you're interrupted by a deep voice singing behind you. Not once missing a note you glance behind you to see Noah enter the stage. He walks to the center and sings with all his might. You stare at him with pure confusion. You did not agree to this.
Catching Jack’s eye off to the left side of the stage you can see him shaking his head at you. He doesn't look the least bit sorry. You turn your eyes back to the piano and try and focus on the music. However, that attention grabbing voice is making it difficult for you to enjoy your music.
Noah was owning the stage. People weren't listening to your music any more. They all had their eyes on Noah. Now, a crowd watching you wasn't your desire, but it was the thought that they were paying mkre attention to him than your magic that irritated you.
When you finished the piece you expected him to leave, but he didn't. He accepted the applause and then looked at you, urging you to keep on playing.
You stared at him with a frown.
“Play,” he says quietly.
You grit your teeth and begin playing the next piece. He smiled back at the crowd and then began to sing. For the next half house he sang though every piece of magic you played. He had taken your moment for his own and you hated it.
Up in his box, Lestat glared at the man. He gripped his arm rest so hard it began to splinter. Who was this fool who dared take away from your beautiful melody?
Lestat could read your thoughts. This was not something you wanted. You were upset that this man had taken it upon himself to perform with you without your consent.
That would not do.
The half hour of your performance felt so much longer to Lestat. He was eager to leave his box and go down to your dressing room, however, you were still playing and he didn't want to miss a moment to lay his eyes upon you, no matter how grating that voice was. Could this even be considered singing?
As soon as the show was over Lestat left his box quickly.
You hurried down to your dressing room as soon as you were free from the stage. You began to pace around the space of the room quickly. Amelie was first to enter. She was quickly to start chatting.
“I had no idea he was going to do that. I know you said no to his request, so I knew you had no intention of that happening. I am so sorry I didn't stop him, but it was too late. When I realised what he was doing I couldn't stop him, not without making a scene.”
You don't reply, just continue pacing.
The next one to enter is Noah, followed by Jack. You glare at Jack. “What was that?”
“That was me showing you how good we could be together,” Noah says.
“I wasn't asking you!” You glare at him and turn back to Jack. “I play solo.”
“I know, but surely it wasn't so bad to give it a chance.”
“You humiliated me!”
“You two work so well together,” Jack argues.
“No. No we don't.”
Jack calla your name softly, but it's Noah who speaks up. “Look, sweetheart, do you have any idea how adored we were? We had then on the edge of their seat.”
“They were on the edge of their seat because they were straining to hear the piano!” You bite back.
Noah laughs.
Amelie steps forward and rubs your arms with comfort. You lean into her embrace and let her soothe you.
“We could go global,” Noah comments.
“No. No, I refuse to let you spoil my moment. It's my music.”
“Look, that was the most popular you had been since you started performing here,” Jack tells you. “You need to let Noah worl with you. Surely you don't want to be stuck here all your life.”
“I like it here…”
Silence fills the room as they all look at you. Amelie is still trying to comfort you. Noah and Jack are staring you down. They want you to cave in.
There's a knock at your door and then a familiar voice. “If I may interrupt.”
You feel relief when you see Lestat slink into the room. He instantly makes his way over to you, pushing past Noah to reach you. You smile as he comes over. Lestat stands in front of you and uses his finger to tilt your chin up. He smiles.
“Are you alright?” He asks.
You nod your head slightly.
Lestat smiles and drops his hand. He joins you at your side. Amelie is shocked to see him here but doesn't say anything. You feel Lestat place his hand on your lower back.
“Who are you?” Jack asks.
“Ah, I apologise.” Lestat grins. “Lestat De Lioncourt. The sponsor for this pure talent in the room.”
“I've never met you,” Noah says, looking him up and down with a deep frown.
“I said for the talent,” Lestat retorts. He then turns to you with a smile. “Shall we go, mon chéri?”
You simply nod your head which makes him smile. Just as you're both about to make your exit, Noah steps forward. “I'm sorry, but who are you? Where are you going?”
“I don't think that's your business. Come, dear, let us go.” Lestat guides you out of the room.
As you leave the theater he puts his coat over your shoulders and walks with you down the street. There's silence between you for a little while, but then Lestat breaks it.
“Who was that man?”
“I don't really know. Jack, the manager, introduced him to me earlier in the week. He's called Noah. Claims he's a fan of my music and wants to sing to it. I tried to tell Jack I play solo… but Noah took it upon himself to join the performance tonight.”
Lestat looks displeased.
“Are you alright?” You ask softly.
He turns to you and smiles. “Yes. Do not fret. I shall not let that man take away your sparkle.”
“You told Jack you were my sponsor. I don't have a sponsor.”
He grins again. “You do now.”
You look at him in wonder. “Why?”
He chuckles. “Is it not obvious?” You shake your head. He chuckles again. “I want you to bloom.”
A warmth floods your chest as the thought that this man you have only known a short while cared so much about your passion. The smile on his face almost made you believe he knew just how happy hearing those words had made you.
“Thank you.”
“There is no need to thank me,” he tells you. “This is my gift to you.”
Lestat walked you home and did not leave until he was certain you were safe inside. Even then, he took his time heading back. He was not about to let some pathetic human man ruin your beauty.
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@awanderingghost @theprettiesthead @cosmixstar @theblueslytherin @katherine2098 @sawendel @floofdeloop @sitkafay @bigbaddie45 @bluscryn
@secretisme4
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lxkeee · 1 year ago
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Helloo, I was wondering if it was alright for u to write a lucifer x male reader where the reader is also a powerful demon and goes with lucifer to visit Charlie in the dad beat dad episode, and Charlie is just like OMG i have two dads now, this is awesome
if u don't write for male reader, then feel free to change or ignore this lol
MY GAYDAR IS NEVER WRONG!
—Lucifer Morningstar x m! Reader
warnings: mentions of s*icide.
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When Charlie called Lucifer, he was excited that his daughter wanted to invite him to see the hotel. He thought he would be able to handle it.
In fact, he did not.
The poor man had a complete mental breakdown as he over thought what would happen, how would he act around his daughter, what should he say, and etc.
So, he decided to ask for help and he just knows the right person for that.
His beloved boyfriend of one year, [y/n].
Backstory time,
Lucifer has been seeing and secretly dating the man for a year already, it took a while but he got charmed okay? [Y/n] is literally so charming, very handsome, very chivalrous.... And very tall...
And is a pianist.
Lucifer met [y/n] in a famous restaurant, that only elites or the rich can enter. [Y/n] so happens to own that restaurant.
The only reason he was there at that time was because the other seven deadly sins wanted to have a get together.
As the dinner with the other seven deadly sins progressed, Lucifer was enamored the whole night, his eyes staring at the tall and graceful man sitting in the middle of the restaurant as he played the piano for the guests so beautifully.
Asmodeus even teased him, making the king of hell blush.
That's where his frequent visit to the restaurant started.
Lucifer claims that he just wanted to listen to the man play and nothing else.
Of course, [y/n] noticed his frequent visits and decided to approach the smaller man.
Of course, Lucifer was cautious.
Lucifer was suspicious why the man looked more humane than others, aside from his sharp teeth.
Eventually, the two slowly got along and then slowly developed romantic feelings for each other.
They started telling each other their stories too.
Lucifer found out [y/n] was a pianist when he was still alive, he was born in the 1920's and died in 1945.
[Y/n] died as passionless artist, who lost his inspiration and will to live.
But despite all that, [y/n] managed to find his passion for music again in hell and despite the era he was born in, he managed to go with the flow of time.
Yes, he knows gen z slang 😭
He's got serious problems when it comes to saying "lmao" "purr" and "slay"
Anyways, after finding out and realizing why [y/n] is here is because the sin he committed is that he didn't appreciate the life was given to him and decided to take it away by his own hands.
Lucifer's caution around the man was gone and maybe, not all sinners are bad.
[y/n] confessed first and Lucifer reciprocated by giving the taller man a kiss (he had to pull down [y/n]'s tie okay?)
And Lucifer didn't regret it, [y/n] is a passionate lover. A green flag of all green flags.
“Why are you here? You're so nice, you shouldn't be here.”
“If I was up there, then I wouldn't have the pleasure of meeting you and calling you mine.” [y/n] said with a confused tone.
Unaware rizz.
This man, doesn't know how much his words affect Lucifer.
And the fact he can carry Lucifer bridal style and calls him his muse is the cherry on top.
Anyways, back to the scenario. I'm done with the backstory lmao
Lucifer decided to text [y/n] telling him about the situation, wanting emotional support as he's nervous going to an unfamiliar place with unfamiliar people.
He thought [y/n] wouldn't be able to come as the man got work but he was wrong as not 15 minutes later, [y/n] bursts through the door looking absolutely disheveled.
[y/n] ran like his life depended on it.
“My muse, I am hereeee...” the poor tall man wheezed out, hunched on his knees as he tried to catch his breath.
Lucifer had to help the man out by using his wings to dry him up.
“Better?”
“Better, thanks my love.”
Lucifer had to explain the situation to him on the way to the hotel and [y/n] giving him peptalk after.
After arriving at the hotel, [y/n] stayed at the side while he watched Lucifer interact with the others.
He swore he heard the pink arachnid say, “Is anyone's gaydar going off right now?”
“It's just you, Angel.” the gray haired girl says with a deadpan.
After Charlie introduced the rest, she noticed the taller male companion who came with her dad. The male was just admiring the interior of the hotel.
Tall, dark, and handsome.
“So... Dad, how about you introduce me to your friend that you brought over?” Charlie asked, making the two males flinch in surprise.
[y/n] giggling as he watched the flustered look on Lucifer's face.
The two males just looked at each other, having a silent conversation.
“Do you want to tell her?” is what [y/n]'s facial expression says based on the raised eyebrow.
“I guess it's time to tell her.” Lucifer says through his facial expression, as a sigh left his lips.
The others just stared in silence as the two males looked at each other in silent conversation.
“Charlie, this is [y/n]... My... Significant other.”
After Lucifer introduced the unknown man, Charlie's jaw dropped.
So did the other's.
The only thing Charlie can think is “Holy shit, I'll have two dads.”
“SEE?! I FUCKING TOLD YOU THAT MY GAYDAR IS POPPING OFF SINCE THEY ARRIVED”
It was a wild night. From the dad off, some loan sharks deciding to cause a mess. (Charlie has three dads now)
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Do you guys want this as a series? I'm thinking of actually writing this concept because aihsjans it's so cutee and interesting 😭🤭
Also, I absolutely write for male readers as I myself is a man 🤭 aosjsi maybe I should write more Lucifer x male! Reader?
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elihermit · 4 months ago
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let’s ruin the friendship
— part two (part one here)
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pairing: Evan “Buck” Buckley x fem!reader
summary: after a wonderful weekend in Malibu, you and Evan finally confessed feelings for each other. But after a while you realized that building a relationship is not so easy, especially when your partner has an avoidant attachment.
word count: 1,6k
author’s note: I’m so happy to make a 2nd part of this fic. With this fic, I want to say that no relationship is perfect, every couple goes through difficulties, but this is temporary. Always focus on your mental health🩶
p.s. feel free to drop your requests🫧
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It's past midnight, but you can't get away from each other. That's why you and Buck are sitting in the kitchen of this rented house and talking about everything in the world. Your hand touches are no longer accidental and you don't have to look away when one of you catches the other staring.
Conversations now seem a hundred times more important and meaningful, because you get to know each other and build a future out of it. It is no longer so scary to reveal the deepest secrets of your life, because there is no condemnation and misunderstanding between you two, you are a safe place for each other.
You get up from the couch and go to the kitchen table to pour water. You liked how open your conversations had become, but your mouth was dry from talking incessantly. But you don't mind at all.
“Should we go to bed?” — you felt Buck's hands on your waist and how he pressed his torso against your back.
It sent goosebumps down your spine, and his breath on your neck made you feel hot.
“Are you coming with me?”
“Is that an invitation?”
“It is, Buckley.”
You get out of his arms and take his hand, hinting that it's time for you to go to the room. You lead him and open the door to the room.
The door closes and you are pressed against the wall, he kisses you passionately on the lips. You won't even lie, you've often thought about Buck becoming your boyfriend, but just as often you've thought about how good he'll make you feel at night.
You deepened the kiss and surrendered to this impulse. Evan grabbed you by the hips, and you wrapped your legs around his torso, so that in a matter of seconds you would be pressed against the mattress.
“Tell me what you want, baby.” — his lips caressing your neck and you can’t help, but roll your eyes to the back.
“You.”
“Be more specific, babygirl.”
“I want you to take off my panties and have your tongue between my legs.”
Buck froze for a second and looked into your eyes. A woman who didn't beat around the bush and knew what she wanted? He really found the perfect partner. And secretly he liked it when you gave him "commands."
“Yes ma’am.”
In one quick second, your panties were on the other side of the room, and his lips were kissing the inside of your thigh. You arched your back and ran your fingers through his curls.
“Don’t tease me, I want to feel you.”
Buck didn't need to be told twice and you felt his tongue on your clit. You gasped and your lips let out a moan. The way he ran his tongue over your wet entrance and the way he grunted with excitation sent electric shocks all over your body.
You pressed his head against your cunt. Buck started eating you faster and slid two fingers inside you to stimulate you even better. You didn't know how he did it, but he was hitting all the right spots, which quickly made you feel your climax coming. Your moans and sloppy sounds filled the room, your toes began to curl and your back arched to feel his tongue even more.
“Don’t fucking stop, Evan. Please keep going.”
You felt his moan in your clit and he started fucking you with his fingers even faster. Your moans became screams, you repeated his name over and over until you felt the release. You came with a scream on your lips and with your fingers clenching in his hair.
Buck moved away from your cunt and loomed over you. Your juices were all over his face and it made you crave him even more.
“Are you ready to scream for me one more time? Because my plan is to make you not be able to walk in the morning.”
“(Y/N), hello. Are you on Earth?” — Hen waves her hand in front of your eyes and you “wake up” from the memories.
“Oh yes, sorry, I just got lost in my thoughts.”
“Are you okay?”
“Totally, don’t worry. What were you asking?”
The truth is, you're not okay. You often thought about the first months of your relationship with Buck. Everything was easy and simple, you didn't feel like you needed to worry about anything, he was your best support and pain pill.
But you've been together for over two years now and everything has changed dramatically. He started avoiding you, took shifts when you didn't have them, came home when you were already asleep, and left before you woke up. Dates were no longer your tradition every weekend, it was biweekly and always in crowded places so as not to be alone for too long.
And you didn't understand why. You talked about buying a shared house, you both wanted children and even discussed that the house should be big enough for the children to have separate rooms. He often talked about getting married and how much he wanted to call you his wife. But these are all words, when it came to actions, Buck came up with excuses so that everything could be postponed.
And it made you think — does he want all this with you or does he just want it in general? Are all these signs meant that he is gradually falling out of love with you? Or maybe he's got someone else at all?
These thoughts were eating you up inside and you couldn't even talk to him about it because he was never fucking here.
“Actually, Hen, I really need to ask you something.”
“Of course, shoot.”
“Why were all Buck's relationships short? They didn’t last even a year, right?”
You walk up the stairs to your shared apartment, your shift is over and you knew that Buck didn't have a night shift for the first time in months. You were glad to have some alone time with him, you missed it badly.
You open the door to the apartment and see Evan on the couch. He turns at the sound.
“Hi baby, how was your shift?”
You go to the living room and put the bag on the floor. Evan was in street clothes and was obviously going somewhere.
“It was okay, nothing out of the ordinary. Are you going somewhere?”
He got up from the couch and headed out into the hallway.
“Yeah, I’m meeting my friends at the bar.”
“You’re fucking not. You’re not coming.”
He froze and looked at you. You had enough and you’re tired of trying to catch him.
“What are you saying?”
“I’m saying that maybe it’s time to stop avoiding me and pay attention to you girlfriend for once.” — your voice turned into a scream.
All the anger, resentment and disappointment burst out in a second and you couldn't control it. How dare he treat you like some kind of roommate?
“You’re acting crazy, (Y/N).”
“Am I really? Well, because I’m tired of your bullshit and running away so you won’t have to spend even one minute alone with me. You can go to your friends, but you should know I won’t be here when you come back.”
You quickly went to your bedroom and pulled the suitcase out from under the bed. You've eaten enough of his behavior and didn't want to be alone with him for even a second. You used to beg for free time, just the two of you, now you're sick of the thought of being alone with him.
“Hey, hey, what are you doing?”
Buck ran up to you and turned you around to face him. You saw the intense concern in his eyes and the way he was worried. His eyes got bigger and his breathing became faster.
“I’m doing what you can’t do, Evan. Leaving. I'm not your roommate to put up with you running away from me and being afraid to show any emotion towards me. You fucked it all up, with your own hands.”
“I-I… It’s not on purpose, (Y/N), please.” — you can hear his voice breaking, but you don't care at this point.
You go to the closet, pull out your clothes and throw them into the suitcase. Just quickly put down any clothes and get out of here. That’s all you cared about.
“Baby, please, let me explain.”
“Don’t baby me!” — you point your finger at him. “You get scared when things are getting serious. So when you understood that there’s marriage and kids on the horizon, you started doing everything in your power to get rid of me. I can see right through you, are you happy with the result?”
Your face turns red and tears gush from your eyes. You spent two years trying to build something real with Buck.
“I know I do that, but I don’t want to. Let me fix it, I can’t lose you.” — he’s crying too, you have never seen a man cry this hard.
“Don’t you think you had to work on your avoidant attachment before making me fall for you? I fell so hard, Evan, it physically hurts.”
“(Y/N), please, I can go to therapy, I promise it’ll change.” — Buck took a step towards you, but you stuck out your hand. You don't want any touching.
“You do that on your own and then come find me. I need actions, not words. Words mean nothing anymore.”
You take your suitcase and run out of the bedroom. Next thing you know — you run down the stairs to the car, leaving Buck behind.
He was left standing alone, tears pouring from his eyes, burning his cheeks. He knew it would end there, he had done it so many times, but why did it hurt so much this time?
Part 3 — coming soon🤫
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lucky-clover-gazette · 4 months ago
Note
(for the request thing) sometimes i wonder how Volo would feel/react if someone (like arceus’s chosen 👀) took a blow for him from a wild Pokemon or another person. From his perspective, Volo doesn’t have anyone in Hisui that cares about his wellbeing, and the game alludes to him having a troubled and lonely past, and with him having planned on erasing all life in Hisui in pursuit of his desires, would he feel guilt if someone showed him a level of care that would make them sacrifice their safety for his, when he was ready to potentially sacrifice them for his own sake when it came to Arceus?
(also wanna say ive loved your fics on Ao3, so talented <3)
(also on ao3)
You really prefer not to die in front of other people.
The edges of your vision darken as you shove Volo aside, taking the full force of the Alpha Vespiqueen’s attack. You manage the subdue your attacker with a well-aimed sticky glob and ultra ball, but not before suffering an undoubtedly fatal blow.
The consummate merchant comes to you at once, leaning over your fallen body with an oddly indecipherable expression. Usually Volo is abundantly obvious with his feelings, whether he’s passionately rambling about ruins or earnestly praising your efforts as the hero of Hisui. But the man you see now, as your vision begins to blur, simply stares.
“Caught it,” you brag.
His grey eyes widen slightly. You haven’t shared this with him, but you’ve always found them rather beautiful.
“You shouldn’t have…”
“Saved you?” you ask with a dry chuckle. “That’s why I’m here, remember?”
Volo furrows his brow. Reaches out to touch you, then pulls his hand back.
“I sincerely apologize,” he tells you, bowing his head. “If you are to perish in these circumstances, you deserve to know—”
You die and can’t hear the rest.
And then you open your eyes.
You stand on your feet now, in the last place you felt safe before the Pokémon’s attack. Volo still kneels in the distance, seemingly unaware that your body has been replaced by a fallen satchel containing your entire supply of ultraballs, a fire stone, and exactly four medicinal leeks.
You frown. This is going to be awkward.
“Hey, buddy,” you say, coming up carefully behind him. Volo’s back goes rigid at the sound of your voice, his head turning around at once.
“You—you!!”
You rub the back of your neck, sheepish. “Surprise?”
“You died!” Volo exclaims with an accusatory finger-point. “I just saw—” His head swivels to the satchel on the ground, then he turns back to you. “How?”
You sigh and sit down beside him. “Chosen One perk. I die, Arceus says my work isn’t finished yet, I get another shot. It happened for the first time when I fought Lord Kleavor. I had no idea what I was doing, and it took like a dozen tries before I got good.”
Volo looks horrified. “You’ve died a dozen times?”
“Of course not!”
“Then why—”
“My death count’s definitely in the triple digits now. Lord Arcanine was ten times worse than Kleavor, because of all the fire and bullshit arena. At least Lady Liligant was a total pushover.”
“Did it not hurt?” demands Volo, his face growing noticeably pale.
“Oh, it totally hurt,” you admit. “But somebody’s got to deal with it, and I’m the only one around here who’s been made invulnerable by God.”
Volo looks as if he’s been slapped. You suppose that’s fair, considering the shock of witnessing your death and resurrection. But to you, this really is just another Tuesday.
“I know it’s disturbing,” you sigh, putting a hand on his shoulder. His muscles are tense. “That’s why I try my best to make sure people aren’t around to see it. Just easier that way, you know?”
Volo wears another unreadable expression.
“Sucks to lose a satchel, though,” you say, lightly. “Thanks for keeping an eye on it. Without witnesses, I usually lose some of my stuff. Never the plates, though, don’t worry.”
He still looks lost in his thoughts, which is no good. You don’t know how to explain that this happens all the time, for much less important reasons than protecting your favorite person on Hisui. The pain is a small price to pay for his safety, and you’d readily pay it again.
“I thought you died,” Volo eventually says. “Saving my life.”
You elbow him playfully. “I guess Arceus is looking out for you too.”
His expression darkens. “No.”
“No?”
He looks you dead in the eyes, with a different sort of intensity than you’ve come to expect from the eccentric wanderer. “Under an unjust god, endless life is endless pain. Do you truly wish that for yourself? For the world?”
Distantly, you wonder what exactly Volo had thought you deserved to know before your presumed demise. You have a feeling he’s not going to tell you now.
You offer him a hand. “Well, unless you’ve got a better god laying around somewhere, I think we’re stuck with what we’ve got.” And I like what I’ve got, you absolutely do not tell the merchant. I like that I’m here with you.
Volo still seems distracted, but he takes your hand anyway. “Right,” he mutters, and then smiles. “We live to fight another day.”
You rub your thumb against the side of his hand. “And maybe someday, we won’t have to fight. We’ll have everything we need.”
You can picture it, with him. You wonder, maybe foolishly, if he might feel the same way.
Supporting you is actually an investment in my own fortunes, Volo had told you once.
You would protect him regardless of your personal relationship, of course. Just as you protect the rest of this world. You want things to be better, for everyone, and intend to use your god-given powers to ensure that your dream becomes reality.
Volo nods, his sharp gaze fixed on your joined hands. A chill runs down your spine as he squeezes.
“Yes,” he agrees. “Someday.”
You smile softly.
“I think I can live with that.”
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cerisemerald · 4 months ago
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One and only — Thomas Shelby x Fem!Reader
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SUMMARY: She has been loving Thomas for a while now, and it is heaving on her the fact she thinks he still is in love with Grace — she needs a confession, a affirmation that she is not just filling in a gap. It comes in a unexpected night, followed by an unusual morning, but everything with Thomas was like that.
MUSIC: One and only by Adele
A/N: this is the second fic I am reposting from my old account (I accidentally deleted it) and it was from one of my celebrations (200 followers I think) that consisted of fanfics inspired by Adele’s songs from the album 21, this one was requested by a dear friend and it is very dear to me!! It happens between s1-s2, Thomas meets (Y/N) after grace leaves. Feedback is always welcomed!
WARNINGS: English is not my first language.
WORD COUNT: 5,477
[MASTERLIST] [MOODBOARD]
(divider credit is for @cafekitsune)
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“Thomas,” she calls, staring at his back, but he doesn't answer, he continues to look at the field in front of them instead. “Thomas?”
“Hm?” He still doesn't look at her.
(Y/N) decides to finally walk to him, she does not stop in front of him though, sensing something was wrong and not wanting to disturb or annoy him somehow. She stops right behind Thomas, a step of distance between them, from this close she can see the tension in his shoulders better, and as much as she wishes to touch him and try to tranquillise him, she waits. He doesn't do anything, however, not even looks at her, and she sighs.
She looks at the field, too, trying to understand what is possibly happening in his head. But she has a strong guess, one she does not like at all. (Y/N) hates when Thomas lives more in his past than in his present life, for her, it was his biggest flaw; the way he was constantly living for memories and not for life itself. And she feels that now he is probably thinking about what happened two years ago, Grace.
(Y/N) does not care he is thinking of her, that she can understand, after all he did fall in love with her, it would not be easy, especially for Thomas who protected himself with so many walls, to forget the woman. She doesn't expect him to just stop thinking about Grace overnight, but it did hurt, sometimes, how it felt, as if she was living in the shadows of someone bigger than her. It had been Grace's mistake, but she was the one paying for it, paying for the mistakes of a woman she hadn't even met.
She also knew, of course, that it would take Thomas time to trust again, to open himself like he had before. She knew everything that revolved around a broken heart, she did, but knowing did not make anything easier to deal with. It was still hard to face Tommy and see how, even in his most present moments, a piece of him was lost. Sometimes, she would ask herself why she even stayed, when it seemed like Thomas would never love her the same way. But she did, returned to him every single time, hope, maybe, tying her to him.
“Tom, why’d you bring me here?”
Thomas had showed up in her house last night, surprising (Y/N) in the middle of the week. It was not how their encounters usually went, Thomas would see her mostly on weekends. Sometimes he would spend the night, sleep with her to leave only on Sunday morning, sometimes stay up until four pm, these nights they would dance in her kitchen while drinking whiskey. It was all simple, but what mattered was that they talked, that they would sit down to talk and would sooth each other. Everything between them was simple, even love, when it came to their realisations that they were in love. There hadn't been a confession, not from her nor from him, they had just looked at each other differently, held each other for longer, kissed with more passion than ever, and that was enough to understand.
But yesterday was very different. She could not understand what was happening, neither read it on his face. As soon as she opened the door, he was tense, eyes haunted — not like tiredness from work or exhaustion because of all his problems, but as if he had just heard terrible news and saw his world crumbling. When she greeted him with a kiss, he had not held her waist or face, and had returned the kiss distantly. Still, she breathed and let him in, hoping that she might help somehow. He didn't talk much, short answers only, but it was like he needed the attention, needed her to listen to him, so she did. After sometime, she had run out of ideas to console him and offered for them to share a meal together, and for the first time since they had known each other, he ate something. Almost unnerving, but she was so relieved that she chose to see that as a good sign. After that, Thomas just sat in silence while she cleaned the plates.
When (Y/N) finished, she turned around to see he was sitting still at the table, eyes closed, breathing like he was trying to control himself. She couldn’t tell if he was trying to hold back tears or a scream, whatever it was, it was consuming him, drowning him in anguish. (Y/N) moved slowly, getting closer to him and delicately grabbing his hand. Then she whispered his name like a secret, like she was afraid of being caught saying that, because, in truth, she wasn’t sure if she wanted Tommy to hear it or not.
But Thomas did, and he squeezed her hand like his life depended on it, returning the touch with such a force it took her aback. It was not like he never touched her, or that he didn’t show any sign of affection such as holding her hand, but that touch was different. It was acid, burning (Y/N)'s skin in seconds and leaving a million scars behind. Thomas touched her like she was the only one capable of saving him.
It was scary. It was exhilarating. It was a breath of heaven’s pure oxygen. It was suffocating as the smoke on a fire. And it was only a touch of hand.
But it said so many things, it said that he wanted her there, that he actually needed her there. And she was happy with being wanted, but being needed was something she could not even describe, it was overwhelming. It took (Y/N)’s breath away. It made her forget everything else she needed to do, because Thomas was there, all of him, in her kitchen, holding her hand and asking her to be there for him.
With care, she walked until she was behind him, her arms adjusting perfectly in his neck, allowing his head to find a rest in her belly, it was not often Thomas would let her be the one embracing him. Usually, he would be more vulnerable after they would have an entire night together, and he would lay down between her legs and relax on her chest while she caressed him. (Y/N) started to caress his hair, gently as she could, and she noticed that with time, Thomas was melting to her touch, a small smile grew on her lips, but she kept quiet. It was the first time she felt like she could have every single piece of him with her. He sighed as she took some strands of his face, inclining his head even more.
Thomas opened his eyes suddenly, and because of his moving, they were now staring right at each other. Her heart sank with what she could see, his eyes were dark and tired, hurt. Still, she didn't say anything, knowing it had to be him the one to initiate any type of conversation about what was happening, she only kept caressing his hair. After some seconds, he reached for her left hand and kissed it, making her smile again, he stroked the back of her hand with his thumb, and she understood that it was his way of saying thank you. And, in a way, showing that he liked being near her like that. Although he seemed more calm, it didn't look like he would talk, and it was obvious how tired he was, so instead of asking anything, (Y/N) offered for them to sleep. He nodded, and they were quick to go to bed, a simple, but genuine kiss as a good night.
In the morning, he had all of a sudden woken her up with kisses on her neck — like last night hadn’t been so different, saying he wanted to take her somewhere. And yet, even though it was his idea to bring her, he hadn’t spoken since they got in here.
“I haven't come here in a long time.” He finally says something, making (Y/N) stare at him again. “My father…” Thomas takes a time to complete his sentence, “my father used to bring us here, sometimes, I hunted with him one day.”
“Hunted what?”
“A deer,” Thomas smirks, finally directing his look at her.
“You still didn’t answer me.” Thomas smirks only grows bigger at her words. “Why did you bring me here, Thomas?”
He keeps staring at her, she can’t tell everything he is thinking, but that he wants to say something and the words are hard to say, she is sure.
“I don’t know.” He confesses, and (Y/N) could have believed it if it wasn't for the hint of doubt in his tone, as if he didn't want to tell all the truth, but at the same time, didn't know all of it too.
She breathes deeply, she is trying really hard to understand him, she has been for quite some time, but he never truly gives her the chance. “It's that so?”
Thomas and her stare at each other for long seconds, it's not a battle this time, it's not her trying to reach him and him running away, (Y/N) feels as if she is already inside, but can't see what it is, and how could she? When he showed nothing before. She is not sure how to navigate this, what to search, what to ask, not this time, and that scares and frustrates her in equal amounts.
Thomas has these eyes that always make her feel naked, confused and alive. He sometimes looks at her like she is precious, like he cannot go a second without touching her, and she believes it, because his eyes are true, raw even. And then, he could look at her the way he is doing now, like she has just stabbed him, as if she has his heart in her hands to do whatever she wanted, and she decided to make him suffer. It wasn’t true, and it wasn’t fair, she didn’t have him like that, so why would he stare at her with all that devotion and agony?
She chuckles, lowly and dryly, and starts to walk, leaving him behind. (Y/N) doesn't know exactly what she is feeling at the moment, but everything is a little too much. She doesn't want to have to guess, it would be nice, for once, if he could finally say it out loud.
Stopping a few steps away from him, she finally takes a better look at everything in front of her, how beautiful that field is, how breathtaking the view of the sky is with no pollution from the city. The sun hadn’t completely risen yet, some shades of purple, pink, and orange decorated the sky. It looks just like a painting, she thinks, and it hurts a bit to realise that it would be a pretty day to feel good, for her and Tommy to be doing something enjoyable.
What bothers most is that it feels like there is just one last wall between them, and she had thought she would finally have him — but it's not simple, it never is. Thomas has to be the one to take that last step, he has to be the one to, at last, face what he is feeling. If she is the one to do it, to once again try to put pieces together to understand him, it will never change, he will only come home broken and expects mending. She wants more than that, she wants genuine words being said, wants to feel more than… a fragment.
She was afraid sometimes, what if the problem was not his past love, but her? Understanding that old feelings were hard to get rid of was easy, but to which point was Thomas protecting himself from any new feelings? Did it ever become a protection against her? (Y/N) would ask herself, what was he so afraid of? Afraid of having feelings for someone again? Or was he just afraid of… her? It scared her that maybe it wasn’t love and it’s disappointments that kept them apart, maybe it was her. And that she couldn’t fix.
She kicks some rocks by her feet and holds back another frustrated sigh, feeling like maybe she wasn't being fair, that her previous insecurities and frustrations might be influencing her. (Y/N) was trying so hard, to be seen, to be heard, to be loved. Because she loved him, honestly and easily, but had she not done this before? Tried to communicate, to understand? With others that now seem pale in comparison with Thomas, but still, love was a complicated thing. For her, it had always been, since the very beginning, since she had known what love was. It was not just Thomas, no, it would be unfair to say it was only him, perhaps she also needed time to deal with what was inside her. Yet she can't help to think it is different with him, there were others before, but he is the one that matters, he is the one she wants close at all times, the one she still stays close to even with all the hurt and words unsaid, waiting, wishing.
It was Tommy, after all, making her heart feel full and empty at the same time, occupying her thoughts, making her feel like things could get better someday.
If she just had the chance to properly talk to him… to cross all the bridges and understand, maybe then a conclusion would be made, one not based on assumptions she could not fully trust.
Nevertheless, here they are, turbulent thoughts clouding each one's mind. The surroundings are beautiful, the wind making leaves float in the air, both of them with their mouths clasped shut and minds running wild.
She can't see it, Thomas thinks, this time she doesn't seem to see the truth in his eyes. He notices the way she is shrinking inside herself, body almost crumbling, and he walks to her, he is tense when he hugs her from behind, arms keeping her in a tight embrace. Thomas knows she is fighting back tears by the way she lets herself go and relaxes her head against his chest as soon as he pulls her in. He can feel the way her body is fighting, half of her not willing to rest completely.
He never truly knows what to say, he did when he was with Grace, or almost always did, a clarity coming to him when he was about to do something stupid. With (Y/N) it is different, he knows how he feels, and she says the right thing, and he lets her read him, and they go on. Sometimes he has to say it, because she is tired, because she needs him to, or simply because he feels the urge to. But now it feels like they have reached a point that if Thomas keeps being silent, things will end.
Still, for a while they just stay in silence. Thomas keeps his touch steady, not entirely conscious that he is drawing patterns on her waist until she lets out a sigh that he recognises quickly by now, contentment, he can feel her relaxing a bit more. His hands wander a bit further, tracing her belly and up her chest, and as he remembers the night they met, his touch becomes heavier. For what felt like an eternity, he had wished to touch her. It was quick, she'd always say, how they met and how they ended up in a private room. She was not aware that for him, it had felt like a long waiting.
A party that he meant to go for business only, not even much interested in said business, at least not enough to try to do it in person, he had sent John to do it, but he got sick. Never before had Thomas been so happy with his brother being ill. Had he never gone to that party, he would not have met her. And it was a truth, even though he did not say it much, but a truth nonetheless, that since they met, she was constantly taking him out of his stupor. Since he had laid his eyes on her, he felt it, hands pulling him up, making him finally blink and wake up.
It was simple between them, it had been since the beginning, he had wanted her and there was no room for questioning if he would follow her, she had corresponded in the same intensity. Slowly their lives came in between, the days apart, the reality of each one, but even then, she only told Thomas she would be waiting, and there was no room for questioning if he would come back.
On the weeks with fewer visits from him, nothing changed, on the weeks he could see her more frequently, everything did.
Although his ghosts still haunted him, it was not the same as before, he could breathe now, push them away easier. But he had never been good with words when it came to this. To confess, he used words to get what he wanted, to conquer, long gone was the time words served as a way to connect and open himself. Grace had started to change that, easily as if she was a childhood love, she had picked up his heart on her hands. Thomas had not expected it, and when it hit him, he realised how truly in love he had been. For once his intuition had left him, after such a long time creating walls upon walls, they crumbled only to have to be raised again. He had also not expected it to change, to meet someone else, and yet, he did.
“What are you thinking?” She asks, head still resting against him.
“You.”
“You are thinking about me?” He can hear the small smile on her lips.
“Yes.”
“What about me?”
“The night we met.”
“Oh.” She chuckles, as if something suddenly made sense to her. “You were so pretty that night.”
Thomas holds back a smile, like he usually does when she says something like this. “I’d say you were more.”
(Y/N) laughs and turns to look at him, distancing herself enough so they could stare, he is relieved to see there are no tears in her eyes. “I was, but it didn’t last long after I met you.”
Her arms find a place on his shoulders as she hugs him, hiding her face on the crock of his neck. She radiates warmth, and Thomas welcomes it eagerly.
“It wasn’t all my fault.” Thomas says, dead serious, because sometimes she seems to forget they burn together, and she laughs again.
He feels when her body changes after a few moments, her breathing getting erratic, he prepares himself.
“Tom?” It's nothing more than a whisper.
“Yes.”
“I’ve been thinking, and…” something in him is begging for him to interrupt her, he knows what is coming, he can feel it. “I think we should, you know, stop seeing each other.”
He stays quiet, his arms never leave her body.
“Why?”
She takes a long time to answer, and Thomas starts to look for words he can say, things he can do to fix whatever needs to be fixed. He knows what it is, but as her silence stretches so much, he wonders if there is something more, if there is more he did and was unaware of it, that isn't hard to imagine. He feels, somehow, the moment she shivers, her arms seem to lose strength, her embrace weakening.
(Y/N) takes a deep breath before speaking,“because… because I feel like I’m Grace’s shadow. I feel like you met me when you were desperately needing someone to replace the emptiness that she left at your heart. It’s not that I’m the same as her, no…” she hides her face even more in his body, “it’s just you wanted someone to make you forget all the pain. And it happened that I was there to be your distraction. And at the beginning, I didn't care. But now, I do.”
She stops, Thomas knows she is fighting back tears, knows that she hates having to say all of this. Then she whispers, “I care because I’m in love with you, and being someone’s shadow for the man I love isn’t my biggest wish.”
What a treacherous path Thomas had walked them into. He could not deny it what he felt in the past was real, what he and Grace had shared was still haunting him, as his deceptions and frustrations always did. He never admitted, but for him, things like that never left his mind, he just pushed them away, kept them hidden. And still, things did not need to be like this, he did not have to act like that. He did… he liked (Y/N), not just that, he loved her even. A small and fragile thing at first, threatening to hurt him, not because it hurt, but because it made him finally move on. But now, a year later, it was not that small any more, he knew what he felt, knew that he searched for her when they were apart. And Thomas had no necessity in comparing what he felt before with what he felt now, he knew it would take time for something like that to happen again — to be true, he had not even thought it would happen again, but it did, it is happening.
Thomas blinks, watching as flowers and leaves were stirred by the wind, a hollow sound surrounding them. There is so much more he probably doesn't know, more things she thinks and has kept to herself.
“You’re not Grace’s shadow.” He says in a whisper, his voice betraying him. It sounds weak, and he wanted to convey how strong his affection is. Nonetheless, he hears her sighing in relief, distancing herself from him a bit, but still not looking at his eyes.
“You love her Tom,” (Y/N) states, “you’re still deeply in love with her and all you lived by her side. If I’m not her shadow, then I’m a mere ghost of what she was.” She raises her eyes to his face, he is already staring, always staring at her.
She looks at him with so much resignation that Thomas is almost convinced he cannot change her mind.
“I’m not angry or mad or upset about this. I’m just sad.” She says it then, voice low, Thomas knows it is because she is holding tears back. “And it doesn’t matter how much I love you, I don’t want to be sad, to feel miserable every time I don’t act like someone I don't even know. I just don’t want that life for me, even if that means losing you.”
He looks away, not being able to stare at her eyes at the moment, not when he doesn't have the right words to say. It was not his intention for it to reach this point, for her to think he wants a copy of Grace. He knows he has to say it, explain himself, but it is like being paralysed. It's the kiss on his cheek that makes him finally blink, it is the way her lips are so delicate against his skin, a goodbye. She leaves his arms, turning around to go back to the car, but he holds her wrist immediately, (Y/N) stops, looking at him with knitted eyebrows.
Thomas takes in all of her at that moment, the determination clear in her eyes, eyes he has grown so accustomed to, that do not search him unless he opens himself, eyes that love him, tender him. Eyes that he cannot forget even when she is not with him. He looks at her lips, lips that have said the words he needed to hear, the ones he did not want to hear, lips that have kissed him with so much passion that he was able to forget the world for some hours. She has, slowly, found a place inside of him, roots with her name overtaking his chest. Her hair flutters around her face, she seems tired, (Y/N) offers no more resistance on her face, only resignation, but she does not pull away either. He engraves every single detail of her in his mind.
The words are not helping him, he cannot think of anything good enough to say, it is like she wiped his mind, leaving nothing but thousands of pictures of her behind. Of every moment she has used her words not to pry him open, but to convince him to do so, every moment she has held him in place instead of insisting on dragging him somewhere else.
It was at the moment, the sun shining brightly, orange light taking over the sky, making her skin seem warm to the touch, that he finally realised. It had always been simple between them, he did not need to complicate it right now, there was no need for elaborate words, only the truth. She wanted something straight-forward, (Y/N) was just asking for it to be real.
“I don’t want her,” Thomas says, words finally appearing. “I don’t want her like I want you. Not any more.”
And it was true, he had loved Grace, had felt something he thought himself incapable of after the war, and yet, it passed. She had betrayed him, and he still felt it then, sometimes still feels it now, but it passed.
She gives a step forward, “but you still love her, right?”
He allows himself to remember Grace's face, her tender touch, it was involuntary, the care that comes with it. But there is also the pang of heartbreak, the understanding and the sense of finality, there is nothing he can do to go back in time, and now, he does not want it any more. He has (Y/N), she mended what was broken. He takes a step towards her as well, hand tightening even more around her wrist, he wants her now more than he ever did.
“Yes.” he admits, because it is also true that (Y/N) can wring secrets from him. “But she’s past.”
“Is she, Tom?” She gives in a deep breath, “if that’s so, you’re a man living your days in the past. You’re always with her, even when you try to be here with me.”
“No.” he denies, low and firm, “It’s not me living in the past, (Y/N).”
“What is it then?”
He wants to say it at that moment, to confess she haunts him, that his past always does — who he was before war, who he became during it. It is a part of him now. But that is not his nature any more, to confess this easily, it takes time, and he has said more today than he ever did before. Instead, he looks at her, knowing that when nothing comes out of his mouth, that it's what denounces him, his eyes.
She reads him again. Thomas knows, he always knows when she understands. Maybe it is the look on her face, he has never been able to identify what it was, but something changed when she could get him.
“I know it ain't easy,” (Y/N) says, getting closer to him, she puts a hand on his face, “it seems to haunt you, Thomas.”
She is close now, enough that he can feel the warmth of her body again. Thomas lets himself relax against her, his hand still on her wrist, he can feel her pulse now, slightly accelerated.
“I feel left out sometimes,” she whispers, “as if she is right behind me, and I am echoing her words, or at least the words you wanted her to say.”
Thomas nods, “you are not like her.”
(Y/N) seems surprised at that, “what was she like?”
But that is too much. “You are different,” he establishes, firm enough for her to understand he does not want to talk about Grace like that. It's easier to just forget, sharing this feels strange, describing how he loved her — because it would not be just an impartial view of how she was. “And your words too, you do not echo her in my mind.”
You fixed it. Erased what hurt was left on the surface.
(Y/N) squint her eyes at him, he lets her stare into his eyes, lets her understand.
“If we…” she cleans her throat, “if you try, could this work?”
He bites his tongue to say that is already working, because yes, for him, it is, but she is opening herself to him and saying she is hurting.
“What do you want?” He asks, instead.
“You.” (Y/N) shrugs, “I know we can't be each other one and only. But it would be good if you opened yourself more, I cannot always read your mind.”
He must've frowned at that, because she immediately completes, “I know it's different for you, how you open up. I sometimes wish for words, it's true, but it is not what you can give me and I know that.” And although she understood it wrong — he was just surprised when she said she could not always read him —, he was happy to hear that.
Thomas puts a hand on her waist, pulling her and closing the distance that was left, he can feel her now, that smell that calms him every time they sleep together, he tightens his grip. There is not a world where he would refuse this, it is surprising, sometimes even slightly scary and annoying, how she managed to awaken him when he fought so much to numb himself. But he always comes back to her, always knocks on her door, because it is stupidity to refuse her, push her away, only a mad man would do that. He consumes her instead, goes to her house, drinks from her lips with such thirst it is as if he is famished, and it is never enough. Whatever she wants, he thinks, whatever she wants to stay.
She is looking at him with an indecipherable expression, but he cares not at the moment, he will have plenty of time to reflect on everything she said today, to understand her even more. Now, he searches for her lips, brushing his own against her, wanting to feel her before making the real move. He is not one for teasing, every time he does this, it is because the waiting feel as good as the actual kiss, the way he can feel her skin shivering, the way she whimpers slightly — because they are the same when it comes to this, she also has an insatiable hunger. They finally kiss, then, desperate to feel each other, it always feels like they are one at this moment, and nothing else matters.
She is the one to break the kiss, only to look at him and whisper, “I love you.”
Before Thomas can think of answering, her lips are crashing against his again, demanding, taking, and he answers it. He almost chuckles when one of her hands find her way to get under his shirt, but his own body leans into it in such a fast manner he knows he would be laughing at himself too.
Since the first time she touched him like this, he knew he had cursed himself. He knew he would be damned, growing hunger for that, fonder for her. She had scared him, and yet, proved herself to be exactly what he needed.
He broke the kiss this time, not being able to contain the smirk when he saw her drunk eyes, even though he was for sure laughing at himself too.
“I love you.”
She melts against him, smiles brightly. He does not know why he waited so long to say it, but he is usually like this, takes too long to say something important.
“You’re not her.” He finds himself saying, surprising the both of them, “you’re not her shadow.”
She nods, Thomas sees her blooming right in front of him. He feels something settling in his chest, his mind getting quieter, a miracle for its own, but even more special when he feels it because of her.
Please. He thinks as he gives a peck on her lips. Don’t ever say you’re a mere ghost, when I love you this much.
The wind was still stirring the flowers and leaves of the field, and the field was still the same, same as the sun shining in the sky. But somehow, everything seemed more right.
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masonmontz · 7 months ago
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hellooo everyone :) hope you like it
REMEMBER: english is not my first language
fluff and dad!mason word count: 1.9k
✦‎۟    ࣭   ⊹
“Have you ever thought about when we will have kids?” Mason asked when you two were driving home after a game. 
“What?”
“I mean, don’t you think it’s the perfect time?”
Mason had been talking about kids for a while now and you realized that his obsession with the idea made you want kids too. You started to notice how he spent more time with the kids than with the adults at celebrations, the kids in the family had him as their favorite person and he played with any child he met on the street.
You know he's going to be an amazing dad.
“Y/N, you know I want to spend the rest of my life with you and I think it’s the perfect time ‘cause we’re young and we can sit with our baby everyday, running around, travel. I mean, it’s time.” 
“There’s nothing I can do to change your mind, uh?” 
“I’m sorry but no.” 
Tonight, after the game, as you waited for Mason next to Anouska, you watched her and Luke's children run over to Mason, who opened his arms for the kids to cuddle with. Luke, who was walking next to Mason, also smiled at the scene when he saw his friend so happy with them.
“How can he be so passionate about children?” Anouska asked you and you smiled at her. 
“Yeah, he’s so natural with kids.”
“I don’t know why you’re not pregnant yet.” She said and started walking towards her husband and Mason, leaving you behind. 
But the thing is: you think you are pregnant but are too scared to take a pregnancy test. For a few days now you've been feeling tired, very sleepy and the smell of Mason's perfume has started to bother you. But you love his perfume and that's why he uses it every day.
And of course, you still haven't told Mason yet, even though you know he'll love it if you're pregnant. 
He spends the rest of the way home talking random things about the game, happy to have played 90 minutes and also happy about the victory. 
As soon as you arrived home, Ace greeted the two of you, happy to no longer be home alone. You took off your sneakers and lay down on the living room couch while Mason went to the kitchen. Ace climbed onto the couch and came to you, laying his head on your stomach, something he's never done.
You froze.
Is there any chance…? Maybe it’s something you never noticed, but… in your stomach? Ace looked at you with those beautiful eyes and you melted for the dog, petting his head. 
“Do you think there's a baby here?” Ace just let out a slight groan and closed his eyes, then Mason came back from the kitchen with two bottles of water, and handed you one. Mason sat on the couch next to you and Ace stared at him, accepting his owner's affection.
“Hey buddy, what did you do while you were alone?” The dog leans his head against Mason's hand, closing his eyes once again. 
But something happened that had never happened before.
Mason leaned in to give you a kiss, running one hand over your shoulders and the other he ran over your belly to your waist, but when Ace saw Mason's hand on your stomach, he stood up and started barking in Mason's direction.
“Ace, what’s wrong?” Mason asked, and the dog was still barking and growling at him. As soon as Mason let go of you to see what was wrong with Ace, he stopped barking. “Do you think he is in any pain?”
You didn't want to tell Mason without being sure, but Ace's reaction made you believe you were pregnant. Maybe he was smelling it, dogs do that, don't they?
“Mase, maybe- let me try.” You grabbed Mason's hand and pulled him towards you, making him wrap his hand around your waist once again, then Ace started barking. 
“Dude, are you jealous of her?” Ace growled at Mason, but when you ran your hand through his fur, he calmed down. “I can’t believe it. Ace, do you know that I wanted a dog and not her? Why is she your favorite?
“Mase, I don’t think he’s jealous.” You spoke and stood up while Mason continued to sit on the couch. Ace laid down where you were sitting. “I think he's being protective.”
“What? I would never hurt you.”
“No, I know…” You took a deep breath. “I think I’m pregnant.”
Mason stood frozen as he absorbed the information. You looked at him and could clearly see his eyes filling with tears.
“You’re kidding.” Mason spoke with a trembling voice and you wanted to cry too, knowing that it's his dream to be a father but maybe you're not even pregnant. 
“I’m not sure, actually, but there is something different happening in my body and I know that for sure.” Mason stood up and Ace came to attention once again. 
“Babe, I'm so happy but I don't want to celebrate until we know for sure.” He wipes away a tear and you smile, walking over to him and hugging him. 
“I know this is your dream, sweetheart, but even if I’m not, we should start trying for a baby.” Mason squeezes you against him, but this time Ace just gets off the couch and walks to his own bed in the corner of the room. 
“I'm going to the pharmacy right now.” Mason said to you and took his keys and wallet. “You come with me?”
“I'll wait here, I'm nervous.” Mason came back and gave you a kiss, then he ran to the door. 
15 minutes later Mason was back with numerous pregnancy tests. Your hands were shaking and you could see he was nervous too, but as always, Mason was trying to reassure you, so he was trying not to show it.
“Read the instructions for me.” You asked as the two of you entered the bedroom bathroom. Ace went upstairs with you but laid down on the floor as he looked at you and Mason. It was as if he wanted to participate too.
Mason read all the information and refused to leave the bathroom while you were taking the tests, and even though you were embarrassed, you let him stay there. 
“We have to wait 5 minutes.” You walked over to Mason, who was sitting on the edge of the bathtub, and sat on his leg. “What if it is negative?” 
“So we're going to make a baby in the next twenty minutes.” 
“Twenty minutes? Is this what you can handle?” 
“What? I'm tired, I ran for 90 minutes.” Mason laughed, knowing you were messing with him. 
“You better get better if you want to get me pregnant.”
You continued talking, but time passed slowly. When the timer reached the 5 minutes you programmed, you and Mason looked at each other, not knowing what to do.
“Okay, I'll see the result.” Mason said and you both got up, you almost bit your nails out of nervousness. Mason walked to the sink and looked at the three tests you did, without saying anything.
“Babe, oh…” He said and you ran to him. “Oh my God, you are very pregnant.”
You looked at the three tests and saw the two lines in all of them. You gasped and looked at Mason, who had tears streaming down his face and a huge smile on his lips. 
“Mase…” 
You spent a few minutes hugging each other and even Ace joined in while the two of you were kneeling on the floor.
“We’re having a baby.” He filled your face with kisses. “We’re having a baby.” 
“We’re having a baby, I can’t believe it.” You wiped your own tears and heard Ace whimper next to you.
Mason approached the dog and petted him.
“You're going to take care of her, aren't you, buddy?” Ace looked at Mason as if he agreed and you smiled. 
✦‎۟    ࣭   ⊹
The pregnancy flew by, you released the news after a few months on Instagram, as Mason wanted to tell everyone that he was going to be a dad. You told your family two months after finding out you were pregnant, because you wanted to make sure everything was okay before telling anyone else.
Summer was excited, but she was also jealous knowing that her favorite uncle was having a baby. Mila still didn't quite understand, so you and Mason needed to reassure Summer that she was still his favorite. Stacey, on the other side of the world, also celebrated when you told her via video call.
Mason couldn't stop telling everyone that your little girl would be home with you soon.
The birth was due at the end of December or beginning of January, so everyone came to Manchester for Christmas and New Year’s eve, as you couldn't travel many hours to London. Your family and his came and you thanked Mason for the big house he bought.
The end of the year festivities had passed and she still hadn't arrived.
Mason kindly asked his family not to stay until his birthday so you two could prepare for the baby's arrival. But you asked your mom and Debbie to stay to help you the first few days until you felt safe enough to be alone with her while Mason was at training or traveling.
On January 9th, you were already fed up. 
Your belly was huge, your back hurt, you walked slowly and could barely sleep. Mason tried to help you most of the time, stayed awake with you or tried to ease your pain. He trained early in the morning and in the afternoon he was at home with you, you went for a walk with your mother and mother-in-law for a bit but you soon came back as it was very cold outside.
Mason made dinner and you ate together, then the two of you went to watch while your mom and Debbie were in the kitchen talking. 
You didn't want to sleep before wishing Mason a happy birthday, but you were sleepy and there were still a few hours until midnight.
But things got weird when you felt discomfort in your stomach, then another, and another. 
“Mason, I think it’s time.” Mason jumped off the couch and started running, screaming around the house as he packed things for you. 
The next few hours were painful, you cried, screamed, but Mason never left your side. 
Around 2 am, she was born.
“She’s perfect.” You cried as you held her for the first time. Mason was sobbing next to you, you had never seen him cry like that and you were sure that little baby girl would have him in the palm of her hands.
“You were so strong, so brave, Y/N. Thank you so much.” He kissed your forehead, and ran his index finger across the cheek of the baby who was looking at you attentively. 
“Happy birthday, Mason.” You can finally wish after hours of pain. “I love you.”
“Thank you, babe.” He said. “That was the best birthday present I could have.” 
“You said you would choose her name.”
“Yes, but we can choose another one if you don't like it.”
“What name do you want?” 
“Annie. Annie Katherin Mount.”
“It’s perfect, Mason.” 
IF YOU WANT TO READ, this is the insta au about annie :)
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tetsuissohot · 4 months ago
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Toji Fushijuro ONESHOT
☆summary. After a painful breakup, Y/N thought she had moved on from Toji Fushiguro, but when he reappears in her life, old feelings resurface. Toji, determined to win her back, confesses his regret and desire for a second chance. As the two wrestle with unresolved emotions, Y/N faces the struggle between her lingering love for him and the fear of getting hurt again. In the midst of their heated confrontation, passion takes over, and Y/N must decide if Toji’s promises are enough to trust him once more.
☆warning/tags: 18+fem!reader, casual, SFW, building up tention, ex's to lovers?, part 1
☆word count:1.1k
☆a/n: This my first work lol, please be kind and tell me where I can get improve! I'm thinking of doing a second part for this oneshot where things get a bit spicier. I hope you enjoy!
part 2
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The dimly lit bar was buzzing with the low hum of chatter and clinking glasses, but Y/N barely registered it. She stared blankly at the glass in her hand, swirling the amber liquid inside as her thoughts drifted elsewhere. The past few weeks had been a whirlwind—missions, responsibilities, and emotions she had long since buried.
But all of that seemed insignificant when he walked in.
Toji Fushiguro.
Y/N’s grip tightened around her glass at the sight of him. Even in the crowded bar, his presence was commanding—tall, broad-shouldered, and carrying an aura that both attracted and warned people to stay away. His dark green eyes scanned the room with a predator's calm until they landed on her. A smirk tugged at his lips.
He walked toward her, his steps confident and sure, as if he knew exactly what he was doing. And maybe he did—Toji had always been direct, never one to beat around the bush. But it wasn’t his confidence that made Y/N’s heart race; it was the fact that seeing him again brought back memories she had worked so hard to suppress.
“Mind if I sit?” His voice was deep, gruff, and achingly familiar.
Y/N didn’t bother looking up as she took another sip of her drink. “It’s a free country.”
Unfazed by her cold response, Toji pulled out the chair opposite her and sat down, his eyes never leaving her face. He leaned back casually, arms draped over the chair like he had all the time in the world.
“You’ve been avoiding me,” he said, his tone casual but his gaze sharp.
Y/N finally met his eyes, her expression unreadable. “I’m not avoiding you, Toji. We’re just... done. I thought we both agreed on that.”
Toji’s smirk faded, and his face took on a seriousness that Y/N hadn’t seen in a long time. He leaned forward, elbows resting on the table, his voice dropping to a low rumble. “Maybe you did. I didn’t.”
Y/N’s breath hitched, but she forced herself to stay composed. “You were the one who walked away,” she reminded him, her voice steady. “You were the one who said this—we—weren’t meant to last.”
Toji’s jaw clenched, the muscles in his neck tightening. He remembered that day all too well. The bitter words he had thrown at her, the way he had convinced himself that he was better off alone—that she was better off without him. But now, sitting across from her, the regret felt like a weight pressing down on his chest.
“I thought I was doing the right thing,” he admitted, his voice softer now, laced with something Y/N wasn’t used to hearing from him—vulnerability. “I thought it would be easier for you if I wasn’t in the picture.”
Y/N scoffed, setting her glass down with a clink. “Easier? You think walking out without an explanation made things easier for me?”
Toji winced, his usual unshakable demeanor faltering. He wasn’t used to this—wasn’t used to being the one in the wrong. But he knew he couldn’t sugarcoat it, couldn’t charm his way out of this like he did with everything else.
“You deserved better,” he said, his voice low but firm. “I was messed up. Still am, probably. But…” He trailed off, searching for the right words. “I’m not here to make excuses. I’m here because—dammit—I want you back.”
Y/N stared at him, shock flashing across her face before she quickly masked it with indifference. “You don’t get to just come back after disappearing, Toji. I moved on.”
Toji’s eyes darkened, the idea of her moving on hitting him harder than he anticipated. He wasn’t used to losing—especially not to someone else. The thought of Y/N with anyone else made his blood boil, but he forced himself to calm down.
“I know I don’t deserve it,” he said slowly, his voice rough with emotion. “But I’m asking for a second chance.”
Y/N shook her head, trying to keep the walls she had built around her heart intact. “You can’t just walk back into my life whenever it’s convenient for you. I’ve been fine without you, Toji.”
He leaned in closer, his presence overwhelming. “Have you? Because I haven’t been.”
Y/N felt the weight of his words settle over her. Toji was never one to admit weakness, never one to let his guard down. But here he was, laying it all out in front of her, as raw and honest as she’d ever seen him.
“You think this is easy for me?” he continued, his voice rough. “It’s not. I’m no good at this… at us. But I’m trying, Y/N. I’ve spent every day since we split wishing I hadn’t walked away.”
Y/N could feel the cracks forming in her defenses. She wanted to be angry—was angry—but there was something in Toji’s eyes that made it hard to hold onto that anger. She’d never seen him like this, so exposed.
“Toji…” Y/N began, but her voice faltered, unsure of what to say.
“Just tell me there’s still something there,” Toji said, his voice almost pleading now. “Tell me I’m not too late.”
Y/N’s heart raced as she searched his face, her emotions swirling in a storm of confusion, anger, and longing. She had loved him once—loved him deeply. And even though she had tried to move on, a part of her had never really let go.
But was that enough?
“You hurt me,” Y/N said quietly, her voice barely audible over the noise of the bar. “And I don’t know if I can go through that again.”
Toji’s face softened, his hand reaching out across the table, hesitating before he touched hers. When his fingers finally brushed against her skin, it was tentative, as if he wasn’t sure if he had the right to touch her anymore.
“I know,” he whispered, his eyes locking onto hers. “But I won’t make that mistake again. I swear.”
The silence stretched between them, heavy with unspoken feelings. Y/N looked down at his hand on hers, feeling the warmth of his touch, the sincerity in his gaze.
She had every reason to push him away, to tell him it was too late. But in the depth of her heart, she knew that despite everything, she still cared for him.
“I need time,” Y/N finally said, her voice soft but firm. “I’m not promising anything, Toji. But… I’ll think about it.”
Relief flooded Toji’s face, and for the first time in a long while, he smiled—really smiled. “That’s all I’m asking for.”
As they sat there in the dim light, their hands still touching, Y/N realized that maybe second chances weren’t always about forgetting the past. Sometimes, they were about finding a way to move forward—together, despite the scars.
And maybe, just maybe, Toji Fushiguro was worth the risk.
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Thank you for reading xoxo
MASTERLIST
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dateko · 1 year ago
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LAST DAY ON EARTH | GOJO SATORU
a/n: not quite sure what just happened here other than the fact that i am in fragments thinking about a certain gojo...
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“Hey, Toru… If tomorrow was your last day on Earth, what would you do?”
Your boyfriend throws you a quizzical brow. “What?”
“Come on,” You prod at his stomach with your foot, “Answer the question.
Sitting on the couch with your legs thrown on his lap, Satoru gives you his signature boyish laugh. You watch as he thinks for a moment, following how his slender fingers dance and glide across your skin. He lingers at certain areas, almost as if he were trying to memorize every line and dot on your body. 
“Mmm, I would probably start and end my day in bed with you, just like any other day. Except we’d spend the entire day making endless amounts of passionate lo-”
“Ugh, be serious!” You scoff, throwing a pillow at his face.
To no one's surprise, the poor pillow never reaches the man and plops back onto your lap with a sad thump. You roll your eyes.
“Hey! I am serious! I’ve never been more serious about something in my life.” He tilts his head towards you with a smile as you continue to stare at him in disbelief. 
“Well… Would you have any regrets?” 
He shakes his head almost immediately. “Why would I? I’ve got everything I need right here. Although, there’d probably be some things I wish I did.” 
Satoru's hands make their way back to play with you, twiddling with the strings of your lounge shorts until he finally decides to pull you by the hips and set you on his lap with a winning smirk.
Straddling the strongest, you cup his porcelain face in your delicate hands, admiring how his crystalline eyes shimmer with the sight of you imbued in them. Your finger traces the line of his nose, the fine lines beside his strong eyes, the shape of the lips you can’t seem to get enough of. “Care to tell me what things you would do?” You pinch his cheek for good measure.
“If you must know…” He starts, taking your hand and interlocking his fingers with yours. Satoru holds up your laced hands with a softhearted expression.  “I’d do something about this pitiful ring finger of yours.”
Your face heats up in an instant. You have never had this conversation before. Marriage wasn't something you thought about, given the nature of both of your professions. The fact that Satoru felt this way caused your heart to soar. “...You’d want to marry me?” 
“How could I not? You’re it for me, sweetheart.”
"Satoru..."
“And don’t think I haven’t put much thought into this. Assuming you would say yes, I’d propose to you, then we’d get married and honeymoon in Kuantan, Malaysia. Send Megumi off to college, probably have a few ki-”
You press a finger to his speedy lips. “Wait, Slow down. Why Kuantan?”
“No reason,” He looks away before smiling, “Just wanted to beat Nanami to it.”
Gojo Satoru was impossible, but he was yours. You shake your head with a giggle, crossing your arms around his neck, and he leans up to press a few soft kisses to your jaw. 
“Even if it were my last day on Earth tomorrow, I’d still be content knowing I found you in my life. And you know what? I’d find you in the next one and the next and the next.”
“Okay, I’ll be waiting then.”
“I’m yours forever. I promise you that, Princess.” 
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elfarons · 3 months ago
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You're My Religion
cw: nsfw mentions but nothing explicit, religious themes, power dynamic, (tell me if i missed any O_O)
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priest!Ren who has devoted his entire life to the town's temple since birth, committed to preaching the holy gospel
he noticed how his faith started wavering, jaded after being in this lifestyle for so long, missing something...
passion.
when was the last time they felt strongly about.. anything?
this will surely past, he tells himself as he pushes through, seeing the churchgoers smile after their prayers make them feel closer to heaven, but he's never felt farther.
ren prepares for what could potentially be his last sermon, telling everyone to bow their heads in silent prayer.
he will determine whether or not he'll give up this lifestyle after this last day-
when you walk in for the first time.
as soon as you see each other, it feels like time stopped. it feels like heaven's gates opening, it feels like their heart beats for the first time in years.
it was like you were the only two people on earth as you held each others gaze.
he couldn't believe god had sent down an angel.
you smiled and broke the stare, sitting down a couple rows behind the next person.
the priest of the town's church, who is used to having eyes on him, feels hyperaware of your stare. after he finished preaching, ren beelines straight towards you, introducing themself and inviting you to one-on-one appointments to acquaint yourself with the religion.
you came to the first meeting. then the next, and the next, eventually becoming a near daily routine. after a couple weeks, the appointments started to feel more like hanging out with a best friend, conversations evolving from church topics to the more personal details.
your life recently fell apart out of nowhere. you lost your job, you're backed up on bills, then your friends have all left you. he would never leave you. every time, ren would reassure you this is a test of faith and comfort you with warm hugs that smelled of clean linen and myrrh.
his hugs always made your heartbeat faster. you hoped he never noticed.
he proposed you move into the church as a temporary solution. of course, you accepted. what choice did u have?
although he insisted it was fine, you wanted to pay him back somehow, so you started helping out around the temple.
ren was absolutely ecstatic. everyday you would see each other, if only for just a quick smile from across the room. you'd have to leave soon after, but ren would pinch his wrist and hold his pendant, cursing himself for wanting you so bad.
you were eager to help out everyday. the holy water was running out? you would assist ren in making holy water. the garden looked a little too sad? you'd tend to the plants, maybe surprise ren with a lotus from a nearby pond. the living quarters needed cleaning? ren told you to clean his room last because the others must be tired and he'd stay up late anyways.
you noticed ren had little to no decorations around his room. that's odd, considering he's lived here basically his entire life, but you didn't push the matter.
as the holidays neared the church was busy with preparations, with ren being the busiest. god he missed you. the way you'd always smile at him, show genuine interest in what he had to say, look longingly at his lips...
after entering his room, he laid down, exhausted. his bedsheets smelled so nicely of you. how did they smell of you so perfectly? whatever he's not complaining. mind wandering, he barely registered his hand trailing down into his pants, thinking about their perfect angel.
he could almost imagine that you stayed behind and you were the one touching him. or maybe he would tell you to sit back and let him worship you instead, letting his lips and hands perform a prayer so full of devotion even god would be jealous.
in the following days, they couldn't even bother to feel ashamed, even when it looked like the statues on the walls stared into his soul. their only regret was that they couldn't work up the courage to confess everything they felt to you... until tonight.
when you both finally had a chance to talk it felt like home again. you both talked well into the night about anything and everything. from how you wanted to restore the garden, to how stressed ren was about all this pressure on him and how he just needed someone, anyone.
he's done so much for you, you can practically feel your heart shatter when tears start streaming down his cheeks. he doesn't deserve this.
he shakes when you hug him, not just because he's genuinely about to break down in his angel's arms, but he's also so terribly happy.
he's got you now.
...
...
but you were never completely innocent were you?
you knew what you were doing the first day you walked in. the rumors said the priest was good-looking, so naturally you styled yourself to perfection.
the rumors weren't even close because holy shit. tall stature, flawless pale skin, broad shoulders, dark hair in a loose, low ponytail resting on their shoulder.
angels are real, and one is looking right at you.
the meetings excited you as much as they did him, feeling a guilty pleasure at how he would sometimes ignore his duties to stay with you a little longer. but eventually you would always leave for your job, hoping he'd miss you like you missed him.
you let them into your life. you knew that fire at your job was to get you laid off and spend more time with them. you knew your friends left you because you saw a figure in all black leave threatening notes on their doorsteps. you knew all the small things you purposefully forgot went somewhere for his own safekeeping.
and every time, you ran back into his arms. but what about everything he's done? why is the man who ruined your life the one you run to for comfort? aren't you scared?
ren was your guardian angel! they had always said your friends and job were toxic anyways and they'd end up hurting you in the long run, but rest assured ren would never hurt you.
after moving into the temple, you saw him everyday and it made you want him even more. even while being worked to the bone, the fleeting glances you shared across the room was enough for you to stop and collect yourself in a hidden corner, holding your heart in fear it might jump out.
eventually, small smiles across the room didn't cut it. when you headed up to ren's room to do nightly cleaning, you noticed the room just smelled so much of them. you missed ren deeply.
well... something small would be fine as long as you didn't get caught right? you laid on their bed and smelled the sheets. it was almost as if he was here, enveloping you in arms, whispering those sweet, reassuring words in your ear...
what started as innocently imagining him holding you ended with swearing to never tell him how just being in his bed had brought you to euphoric bliss.
~ ~ ~
after the festivites. you were sitting with him on that same bed, letting him cry into your shoulder. you rubbed their back up and down, soothing them until their sobs died down and they fell asleep in your arms, exhausted.
when you gently laid them down on their back, they tightly held onto you, afraid to lose you even in his sleep. as much as you wanted to stay in their arms, you didn't want to be presumptuous, so you very softly untangled yourself from their hold.
brushing a strand of hair away from their face. you fondly cupped their face and looked at ren's face while they slept. so peaceful and free from worry. but seeing them so peaceful was just what made you snap.
you wanted to keep them safe, but you had to know more. you want to see his baby pictures, you want to find his middle school diary, you want to know everything about him.
determined, you searched through everything around the room until the bookshelf was left. it consisted of mainly books relating to his studies throughout the years, but there was one book that captured your eye. Angels and their offerings.
there was a click! as you grabbed it and you whipped to ren. still asleep facing you. you felt something was loose, but the book wouldn't come out any more..?
oh. oh. a secret door. you should have guessed as much. being perfect to the public just meant being more careful with secrets.
opening the shelf-door revealed a staircase that led down to a hidden area with light emanating somewhere to the side. you tiptoed down the stairs, silently cursing and tensing whenever a step creaked. finally, you made it down and peeked around the corner to find a door with light dancing under the gap, like it's reaching out. you took its hand and opened the door.
ren has consumed your being. he's your everything.
clearly you were his too.
floors and walls covered with pictures of you, both drawn and photographed. the drawn ones depicted you in a variety of poses and situations. one was you kissing ren while sitting on his lap, another was you, as an angel, holding him while he bled out, presumably bringing him to heaven. the photographs were of your daily life doing chores and talking to the other members, but everyone else's face was crossed out to only leave you in.
starting to get flushed, you examine the back wall that displays a shrine dedicated to you. three tiers of all the belongings he's taken from you, adorned with candles.
the bottom tier was your trash, like the paper you doodled on earlier, a fork that you used at lunch last week, or your empty shampoo bottle from 3 months ago. the middle tier was stuff you purposefully left out for him, like your underwear, your necklace, or the pen you chewed on during bible study. the highest tier seemed to hold his favorites, like the, now dead lotus, the holy water jars he made with you, the sheets that smelled exactly like you.
hanging in the center was a framed photo of the day you moved in, just you and ren smiling at the camera. hearts drawn on the glass in front of your face.
before you know it, you feel two hands on your shoulders quickly spinning you around to look right into powdery blue eyes. you freeze, caught like a deer in headlights, anticipating the worst.
instead, you gasp when ren gets down on one knee, then both, kissing your hand and looking up at you like you've given him all the answers. to them, you truly looked like the most benevolent god.
ren didn't have to say anything for you to get the message.
you were who he will devote the rest of his life to, who he will make offerings for, who they will preach the gospel for.
kneeling down with him, you bestowed him the blessing of a kiss, then let him prove his faith by taking care of you in all the ways you wanted from ren. all the ways you needed from ren. their sinful fantasy of being able to worship you with hands and lips no longer a fantasy.
he will live and die for you. you will live and die for him.
you were his religion. he was yours.
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author's note: MIC DROP, HAPPY HALLOWEEENNNNNN MUAHAHA !!! i decided to get a lil smutty in there because i watched secretary and i was like wait,, angel and priest ren with that yearning... a little insecure because i felt like i wrote too much while literally trying to do no dialogue orz i hope you still enjoyed tho!!
literally posting this while getting ready to go out :3 i hope you all stay safe if you celebrate or just have a good day!
ren is from @14dayswithyou , dividers by @/enchanthings !!
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mikasa-imadebiscults · 1 year ago
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“My Beautiful Tesoro”
(A/N- FELLOW DONNA SIMPS HERE YOU GO!! I love Donna so fucking much, she’s taken over my brain)
Resident Lover! Donna Beneviento x FEM! Reader
(Warning: Smut, swearing, mentions of insecurities, body worship, and pussy eating 😏)
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Now playing: “Something About You” by Eyedress
Your girlfriend, Donna Beneviento, was the absolute definition of perfection. Her calm voice that’s so loving sounding when she praising you, her gorgeous scar that goes around her right eye, and let’s not forget about those sexy hands of hers. Whenever she’s feeling insecure about anything you’re always right there to confidently remind her about all her perfectness.
Unfortunately when it comes to you, you can’t seem to reassure yourself. You can’t shake off the insecure feelings and the terrible thoughts that fill your mind. Donna deserves better, you foolishly believe.
“Why must I look like this?” You questioned your reflection, looking at your pitiful body with tears developing in your eyes.
You close your eyes and rub your temples, tears roll down your cheeks as your thoughts become worse. ��What? Beautiful?” You hear a calm voice say and felt a pair of strong arms wrap around your waist.
“Donna?! When did you get here? I thought you left to go to the shop.” You questioned, heart racing because of the scare.
“It doesn’t matter. Now tell me tesoro why are you being so harsh to yourself?” Donna muffles into your neck, upset that you don’t see your body like she sees it.
“Uhhh- well..I-” You stumble on your words, taking a deep breath before continuing “I just..feel a bit insecure..that’s all.” You confess as you feel Donna hold you tighten.
“Oh dear, damn that confused mind of yours for telling you all those untruthful thoughts. Say, cara mia, do you mind if I show you how much you mean to me?” Donna patiently asks, awaiting for your consent to move forward to something more..eventful.
“I definitely don’t mind, love.” You grant permission, smiling at your lover through the mirror.
Donna smiles into your neck, but the smile fades slowly as she kisses your neck tenderly, making your body heat up as she finds your sensitive spot with ease. She bites the skin, holding back a smirk when you let out a relieved sigh at the feeling.
She guides you to the shared bed which happens to be only a few steps from the tall mirror. You sit on the edge of the bed, watching as Donna takes off her maroon-colored gloves and throws them on the end table, revealing her hands to you.
Donna steps closer to you, grabbing your hand to place a short but lingering kiss on it, pulling away but still holding that same hand. God you loved her hands, not to mention her long fingers that take care of you in more ways than one. You could hold her hands all day long if you could.
“Strip from your clothes my dear.” She says softly but you can hear her loud and clear.
You obey her, letting go of her hand to take off your clothes as she watches you intently, admiring you even. You feel embarrassed by this but you can’t deny that the attentive stare is heating up your core.
Donna notices this and smirks, “Oh? Someone’s getting all hot and bothered.” She teases.
You have your clothes completely off now. Donna gets closer to you to bring you into a slow but passionate kiss, your thighs squeeze against each other to get some sort of pleasure down there. Pulling away to trail kisses all across your jawline and skips down to your chest, kissing where your heart lives “You’re so beautiful, dear. My life would be so boring if you weren’t here.” She stated softly, gratitude evident in her voice.
Donna gets on her knees and puts your legs on her shoulders, her hands holding your legs firmly on her shoulders. She kisses your inner thighs, biting the sensitive skin, making you moan. Donna loves all the noises you make during these intimate moments. She desires to hear them all day everyday.
“Please do tell me if it gets too overwhelming, cara mia.” Donna says, making direct eye contact with you, searching for any signs of discomfort.
You nod your head in acknowledgment, giving her the approval to keep going. Donna smiles before diving into one of her favorite meals, savoring this moment. You let out a loud breathtaking moan when you felt Donna’s tongue swirl around your clit. What a lot of people didn’t know about Donna was that not only is she skilled at using her fingers, she is also skilled at using her tongue too.
She wasted no time to wrap her lips on your clit to suck on the very sensitive nerve. “Ahh~ h-holy shit Donna~” you gasped as you experience waves of pleasure. Donna moans at the bittersweet taste of you, sending vibrations to your clit, causing an even louder noise to erupt from your throat.
You’re getting closer and closer to your orgasm as Donna continues her skillful motions. “Come on beautiful, cum for me.” She mumbles into your clit, sending more vibrations causing your climax to finally hit you. You yell out her name and squeeze your thighs tightly against her head, making Donna’s own core wet from how turned on she is.
As you start to slowly calm down from your climax, you let go of her hair and relax your shaky thighs a bit. Donna takes your legs off her shoulders to stand up and bring you into a soft embrace. She traces different types of flowers and plants on your skin until your breathing evens out.
She kisses your lips, “I’ll be right back darling. I just need to get something.” She says before leaving the room. She comes back in about five minutes with a tall glass of water in her hand.
“With all that moaning you did, I figured you needed it.” She teased, receiving an eye roll from you, making her giggle.
“There’s been a change of plans, instead of running the shop today is gonna be a you day. Whatever you want you get, understand?” Donna says in a caring tone, you know you can’t change her mind on this so you agree.
You take her hand and bring it to your lips, kissing her fingers before saying “Anything I want?” You try to seem all innocent, which that didn’t work since Donna got the message.
“Yes, anything for you love.”
Smiling at this, you think of all the things you and Donna can do today. All of your insecurities that filled your mind this morning had seemingly disappeared and that’s all thanks to your wonderful girlfriend. You can’t thank her enough, not only because she saved you from your tormenting thoughts but because she’s alive and here with you. The both of you will always be together forever until death pulls you apart.
....
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