#sirius black your favourite abusive nepo baby

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So we’re just going to ignore the emotional abuse Sirius faced at home and reduce him to a privileged ‘rebel without a cause’ acting out solely because of his family’s values? Go off, I guess?

Well, I always say it’s not the same to cry in a Ferrari as it is to cry when you can’t make ends meet, but I’ll choose not to be cynical this time and respond in good faith.

When exactly is Sirius supposed to have been abused? There’s no canonical evidence to suggest he suffered abuse as a child, and his bad relationship with his parents began only after he was sorted into Gryffindor. If we add to that the fact that he spent most of the year away from home and was one of the kings of the school while he was there, what exactly is his tragedy? That his mother was a piece of work? When he talks about his parents in OotP, he implies that his relationship with his father wasn’t particularly bad, as Orion didn’t play a significant role in the family dynamics—Walburga was the one in charge. There’s no indication that he suffered any kind of physical abuse or was deprived of anything beyond scolding and protests from his mother. In fact, they never kicked him out of the house—he chose to leave.

And he left because he had options. He had just inherited a massive fortune from his uncle Alphard and could go live with the Potters, who were loaded. And he did this at 16 years old. So, again, what’s his big tragedy? A bad relationship with his mum for four years? Four years during which he spent around 9–10 months out of 12 away from home in an environment where he was king of the world?

Sirius had Hogwarts as his refuge; he could escape his bad family dynamic. The school wasn’t just his safe space—it was his playground. On top of that, he had friends, was popular, and nobody dared to lay a finger on him. And when he chose to leave home—because he could, because he had money and a wealthy friend’s house to crash at—he went to a place where no one was going to harm him or do anything to him.

Comparing his situation to Severus’s, who was physically and emotionally abused from childhood, whose household was so destitute he didn’t even have proper clothes to wear as a kid, and who didn’t find refuge at Hogwarts but instead found a hell that was just as bad, if not worse—thanks, in large part, to Sirius—is just a complete detachment from reality.

Sirius had a safe space and an escape at Hogwarts. Severus didn’t. Sirius had friends, popularity, and wealth to fall back on. Severus had nothing. Severus couldn’t leave his abusive home because he had no financial means to support himself and no friend with millionaire parents willing to take him in.

Sirius’s issues and personal struggles don’t even amount to a fraction of what Severus endured. And this wouldn’t even be a point of contention if it weren’t for the fact that Sirius actively went out of his way to make Severus’s life miserable. That safe space Sirius had at Hogwarts? That could have been Severus’s safe space too. But it wasn’t. And it wasn’t because of Sirius.

So I’m very sorry the rich boy social justice warrior wannabe had a bad relationship with his momma, but, Kim, there are people dying out there.

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Walburga Black never came to know how worthy of the family name her eldest son was, abusing a traumatized half-blood as a teenager and as an adult. She would have been proud.

funny reminder of the day: ootp Sirius and Snape arguing scene wasn't the first time Severus got screamed on by angry drunk man

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People complain that Severus threw shade at Sirius during their encounters at Grimmauld Place, but honestly, Severus was a saint. He could have gone for where it hurt the most, and he didn’t. He could have told him he was the spitting image of his mother and spilled to her portrait that her eldest son spent years torturing a half-blood so her soul could follow him around the house, all proud of him. But he didn’t. Severus chose peace. I would have gone for an absolutely disproportionate level of violence.

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“Yoooou!” she howled, her eyes popping at the sight of the man. “Blood traitor, abomination, shame of my flesh!” (Walburga Black’s portrait to Sirius, OotP Ch. 4)

“Master is not fit to wipe slime from his mother’s boots, oh my poor Mistress, what would she say if she saw Kreacher serving him, how she hated him, what a disappointment he was —” (Kreacher’s view of Sirius, OotP Ch. 6)

“Leave?” Sirius smiled bitterly and ran a hand through his long, unkempt hair. “Because I hated the whole lot of them: my parents, with their pure-blood mania, convinced that to be a Black made you practically royal … my idiot brother, soft enough to believe them … that’s him…” “He was younger than me,” said Sirius, “and a much better son, as I was constantly reminded.” (Sirius about Regulus, OotP Ch. 6)

“I don’t like being back here… I never thought I’d be stuck in this house again.” (Sirius to Harry about Grimmauld Place, OotP Ch. 6)

Look, trauma isn’t some fucking pissing contest. Just because someone like Snape went through a a lot worse doesn’t mean Sirius’s struggles should be dismissed. Emotional abuse is still abuse. It’s not all about wealth or privilege. If you’re constantly told at home by your own mother that you’re a disappointment, that’s abuse, period. Being yelled at and ridiculed at a young age leaves lasting scars—money or not. It affects the way you see yourself, the way you behave, everything. To dismiss Sirius’s trauma and boil it down to a spoiled rich kid acting out because of his family’s values is just missing the point. He wanted to escape that environment, of course he did. If your home is a place where you're constantly belittled, judged, screamed at and compared to your sibling, you’re going to want to leave, especially if there’s a way out.

And then, after everything with Azkaban, he’s left emotionally stunted, he didn’t even get a chance to properly grieve James and feels guilty of his death. The man was hiding from the Ministry, forced back into his childhood home, a place that literally reminded him of the abuse he went through. Walburga's portrait screaming at him, Kreacher constantly reminding him of how much he was hated. He’s left with nothing but isolation, self-loathing, and a bottle to cope.

To paint him solely as a rich kid with no real problems ignores the emotional damage he was carrying around. It’s fucking disgusting to ignore the abuse he faced and then act like his actions as an adult are just about privilege. This shit stays with you. The trauma doesn’t disappear because you have money or friends. And comparing him to Snape? Snape had a whole different level of hell. That’s true. But that doesn't erase the fact that Sirius went through shit that also definitely shaped his behavior and choices to an extent.

So please, spare me the privileged ‘rich boy’ narrative you’re pushing. Emotional abuse leaves scars, no matter the circumstances, and reducing Sirius’s struggles to wealth or rebellion is just dismissive.

I don’t give a damn. Plain and simple. He attempted murder as a teenager. He acted like a sadist, bullied, and abused a classmate who was at a social and economic disadvantage, exploiting his social power and privilege. I feel no pity for him. Azkaban was the sentence he deserved for his crimes of assault, abuse, and attempted murder. He’s still just a rich kid crying over his problems in a Ferrari, and people like that don’t get my sympathy.

If he hadn’t been such a piece of garbage for no reason and hadn’t been an abuser, then sure, I’d feel sorry for him. But nah—just another rich, white kid with mommy issues ending up in the gutter. Nobody is denying his trauma, but I’m not going to pity him. He always had it so much easier—sorry, not sorry.

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For me, Snape’s case is the quintessential example used when working with people who have struggled and how it illustrates the crucial role that environment plays in the development of adolescents in vulnerable situations. I often defend this aspect of his life fervently because Snape is someone who comes from a deeply troubled background, both in terms of family relationships and his sociological environment.

We’re talking about someone raised in extreme poverty, in a neighborhood that seems to be one of the worst (as some of Petunia’s comments suggest), with no emotional or familial support at home. He has neither economic capital nor family capital. He has no resources whatsoever. He seeks refuge from this environment through his studies at Hogwarts, only to find himself targeted by a couple of rich kids from influential families with immense social capital and support networks, who choose him as their punching bag simply because they can. Because he is a nobody, he has nothing, and no one is going to defend him. He’s easy prey, and they know it (the look Sirius gives him during the SWM memories says it all).

On top of that, he’s a half-blood in a house full of extremist pure-bloods. At first, he adapts to survive, and eventually, he buys into the narrative because it’s the norm in the only place where he feels remotely safe, and because it’s what the only people he can rely on have chosen. He’s an adolescent with no way out, and the Death Eaters give him one: they promise him protection, a future, and success. It’s practically the story of every underprivileged teenager who gets involved in a criminal gang, a cult, or a violent extremist political party. The leaders of these groups always target young people who desperately need figures of support because they know they’re easy to manipulate. Ignoring this part of his character is conveniently ignoring how economic and social factors impact the radicalization of young people. It’s turning a blind eye to the social dynamics that, in the real world, are a significant barrier when trying to help young people out of these situations.

The topic of Sirius is something I could talk about for hours because he also represents a real-world stereotype: the rich kid who rebels and does everything his parents hate but never stops being a rich kid with the mannerisms, prejudices, and classism of a rich kid. Sirius might call himself a defender of Muggle-borns, but with Snape, he makes it clear that as soon as he categorizes someone as “the other,” he strips them of their humanity in a way very similar to how his family dehumanized Muggle-borns.

Bellatrix was a sadist, and Sirius reflects a similar kind of behavior when he dehumanizes one of his classmates so thoroughly that he’s capable of throwing him to a werewolf for fun, or when he humiliates him publicly just out of boredom. In the same way his family firmly believed they had the right to feel superior to others because of their blood status, Sirius believes the same about himself for being in Gryffindor and having a particular political ideology. The “enemy” isn’t human—it’s something he feels justified in treating like an object. This makes perfect sense given where he grew up and the fact that his best friend, as “progressive” as he might have been (which is debatable, because James is also a hypocritical rich kid, but that’s another topic), was still a high-society pure-blood. Sirius never stopped associating intimately with people of his own social class, and the fact that he and James chose as their main victim a working-class, resource-less half-blood instead of another Slytherin of their same social level says a lot.

Let’s not forget that Sirius leaving his family is heavily romanticized, but no one talks about how he left with a massive inheritance from his uncle and went to live with the Potters, who were wealthy aristocrats. He didn’t lose anything. He didn’t give up his status. He never had to endure hardship. His life was always very easy, and when you have nothing to lose, it’s a lot simpler to make certain decisions.

One thing I can't stand is how Marauders fans always bring up that Severus was a Death Eater and call him a Nazi. Like, he wasn't a Nazi! He spent years saving people and regretted it almost immediately! They made me so mad grrr

I think the problem with this fandom is that most people in it are very young, sometimes even teenagers, who don’t have a broad perspective on life or the world in general, and they tend to see everything in black and white. Of course, joining the Death Eaters was wrong, but many young people (especially vulnerable ones like Severus) fall into extremist groups or associate with terrible people at an early age.

One of my best friends today was part of a far-right political group when I first met her at 18. Today, she’s a social worker, and her ideas couldn’t be more opposite to what they were back then. But she came from a family that was literally part of a religious cult, and it was what she thought she was supposed to do. Then she went to university, broadened her perspective, cut ties with that nonsense, and now she dedicates her life to helping vulnerable youth.

I’m a criminal defense lawyer and work with an organization that helps people reintegrate into society after serving time in prison. I’ve heard all kinds of stories. And when I say all kinds, I’m not talking about people who just shoplifted once; I mean people who’ve lived incredibly messed-up lives and made terrible decisions. But the thing is, I’ve met people whose histories are absolutely horrendous, yet today they’re as harmless as teddy bears. People can change, especially young people who didn’t have good role models, emotional support, or resources.

Young people, particularly those abandoned by adults or left to fend for themselves, are especially vulnerable to going down the wrong path. You have to understand the context, see beyond the tree and look at the whole forest. That’s something Marauders fans refuse to do, because if they did, they’d have to admit that, yes, Severus was incredibly vulnerable, that he didn’t have resources or support, and that the rich kids who had everything chose to torment him to the point where his only escape was to align himself with the only people who accepted him and made him feel safe. Unfortunately, those people turned out to be a bunch of extremists with horrible ideas. But that doesn’t fit their narrative—or maybe they just can’t grasp it yet because they’ve still got a lot of growing up to do.