#single handedly gonna put me in my remus era with this one

[mischievousmoony]

tearing up btw this is beautiful, your writing is always so stunning

Promises

Pairing: Remus Lupink x Fem!Reader

Summary: Reader and Remus get glimpses of their past life every time they touch

Word Count: 2.4k

Warnings: soulmate!au, past life memories, angst

A/N 💌 Repost!

September 10th, 1973

It felt strangely familiar, an echo from a distant memory. There was something about him that sparked recognition as if you had known him once before. But it wasn’t possible. You had never crossed paths with this boy, never encountered him before. You were sure of it; his presence would have left a mark on your memory.

But every detail about him resonated with a sense of familiarity. You knew him, but you had never met him before.

From the tousled brown locks to the warmth in his soft brown eyes, radiating kindness. His shy smile, a flicker of vulnerability, and genuine warmth illuminated his face, setting a flutter through your stomach. The array of scars that adorned his pale skin. Even the way he laughed, with a genuine, carefree spirit, stirred something deep within—a flicker of recognition that lingered on the edges of your consciousness, waiting to be deciphered.

You stood, transfixed, in the bustling hallway of Hogwarts. Despite the pressing hour, the pull in your chest diverted your attention. Your feet rooted to the spot, your gaze drawn irresistibly to the boy just a few steps away.

Resisting the compelling urge to draw nearer, to feel his presence close to yours, you inhaled deeply, the weight of the moment heavy on your chest. Mentally preparing to pivot and stride toward your classroom, you hesitated. Then, his eyes met yours, a silent connection that arrested your heart, suffusing your being with a comforting warmth. It was a sensation of profound familiarity, akin to the embrace of a beloved after prolonged separation or the gentle touch of sunlight after days shrouded in rain.

You had met him before; you were sure of it now.

November 7th, 1975

It didn’t take long to learn his name: Remus Lupin. 

In the years following your initial encounter with him, his renown had grown significantly. As one of the four marauders, his presence resonated throughout the castle and was recognized by nearly everyone. He was regarded as sensible and known for his unwavering loyalty, boundless kindness, and selfless nature.

You had never engaged in conversation with him, finding solace in silently observing from a distance. However, in those infrequent moments when your gaze met his, it felt as if time itself paused, and a unique connection formed between you two. The surroundings faded away, leaving only the quiet acknowledgment shared in those silent exchanges.

It was as if your souls recognized each other, whispering of an unspoken history. Was that possible? 

Your grandmother often spoke of soulmates, eagerly sharing the story of how she had met your grandfather and instantly recognized him as the one. She would describe a sense of familiarity that enveloped her, as though she had loved him in a past life.

You had often questioned whether she genuinely believed her own words or if she had merely embellished the tale. Yet, when you gazed at Remus Lupin, understanding settled within you.

You were left in contemplation after every transporting glance, wondering whether he sensed the same inexplicable connection.

“Oh shit!” Lost in your thoughts, you scarcely registered the collision as a body slammed into your back, sending your book tumbling from your grasp with a resounding thunk against the ground. Startled, you whirl around, only to meet the panicked gaze of Sirius Black staring back at you.

"Merlin, I am so sorry!" Sirius sputters, his hand instinctively reaching out to steady you on the shoulder. James and Peter stand behind him, their expressions clouded with guilt. 

It was clear they were caught up in roughhousing. Yet, what caught you off guard was seeing all three of them lingering near the entrance to the classroom. Normally, they'd dash in just moments before being tardy. In contrast, you tended to arrive early, relishing the calm before the storm of class. You had been leaning against the cold stone, lost in your thoughts, when Sirius collided into you with unexpected force.

Your eyes dart between each of the boys, searching for someone. Then, a voice interrupts your thoughts, and you find what you're looking for: "Here."

Remus Lupin stands before you, extending your battered copy of Jane Eyre in his outstretched hand. Your breath seems to have escaped your lungs, stolen by the moment, and your eyes are locked onto him. It's the closest you've ever been to him, and perhaps that's for the best, because every inch of your body tingles as if electrified.

"Thank you." You manage to mutter, your voice barely above a breath. As you reach out to take the book, your fingers accidentally skim over his thumb. Surprised, your eyes flicker down to where your skin brushed against his, simultaneously with Remus's gaze.

Instantaneously, a memory rushes back to you in an overwhelming wave. 

The gentle pressure of his hands on your waist as he twirls you around, the velvety tones of Billie Holiday’s voice emanating from the radio, the lingering aroma of dinner in the air, and the subtle taste of wine still lingering on your tongue.

As you sway to the rhythm, the soft glow of candlelight flickers, casting dancing shadows across the living room. The warmth of his touch, the gentle embrace of the wine settling in your belly, and the enchanting melody of the music all conspire to lull you into a state of contentment.

"I'll love you forever, m’love." He whispers softly, his gaze tender as he looks down at you. Your hair, elegantly styled, frames your face, and your lips, once adorned with a striking red, are now muted from the repeated press of the wine glass.

"I don't want you to go." You whisper, your voice barely audible, grappling with the looming prospect of his deployment. The mere thought of him not returning home to you tightens your throat, anticipating the tears that threaten to spill.

“I’ll always come back to you.” He promises, holding you tighter to him.

Remus jerks away from you, his expression mirroring the shock reverberating through you. Locked in a silent exchange of wide-eyed astonishment, you both stand there, grappling with the undeniable connection that just surged between you. There's no denying it; he must have felt it too. The way he’s looking at you 

Sirius, James, and Peter observe the two of you with perplexed expressions etched on their faces. With a muttered excuse me, you swiftly twirl around and stride into the classroom, leaving Remus to stare after you, his expression frozen in dumbfounded shock.

January 5th, 1976

For a week straight, the boys badgered Remus, demanding to know what had transpired between him and his Jane. Sirius had taken to calling you Jane, as none of the boys knew your actual name. Despite their persistence, Remus staunchly refused, adamantly denying that anything had happened at all.

In truth, he harbored a desire to hold onto the peculiar memory ignited by your touch. It felt astonishingly real, almost tangible in its vividness. Yet, he found himself at a loss for how to comprehend it, let alone process it, so he chose to bury it instead.

"There's Jane!" James exclaims, pointing you out as you navigate your way to the Hufflepuff table, settling in among your friends.

Lily's brow furrows. "Her name isn't Jane."

Suddenly intrigued by the conversation, Remus interjects, "You know her name?"

As Lily says your name, Remus feels that same jolt of familiarity he's experienced just a few months before, and every time he sees you, really. He repeats it incessantly in his mind, the name rolling off his tongue with a sense of familiarity that sends shivers down his spine. He's uttered this name before, though the memory remains elusive, haunting him like a half-remembered dream.

His mind drifts back, enveloped in the memory of twirling you around the cozy living room, the soft glow of candlelight casting shadows on the walls. He recalls the sensation of holding you close, feeling the warmth of your body against his, and the gentle brush of your wine-stained lips against his own. The faint scent of dinner lingering in the air, mingling with the sweet notes of the wine, creating an ambiance that he can almost reach out and touch. It's a memory so vivid, it's as if he's transported back to that moment, reliving every detail with startling clarity.

"Is she in our year?" Sirius asks, casting a curious glance at Remus, who appears just as dazed as he did the moment he touched you, lost in a world of his own thoughts.

"Yeah, she's incredibly sweet. I've been partnered with her in Potions before. Oddly enough, she sort of reminds me of Remus," Lily remarks, a thoughtful expression crossing her face. The boys steal a glance at Remus, who appears visibly startled by Lily's comparison.

"You know what's funny—" James begins, but before he can finish, Remus stands up abruptly, snatching his bag. He's not interested in James's humor at the moment; all he wants is to escape. His mind is a whirlwind, consumed by thoughts of you, and he can't shake them off.

"Don't feel very good, I'm gonna go lie down." He mutters gruffly before turning to walk away. His friends watch him depart, taken aback by the sudden shift in his demeanor.

February 2nd, 1976

You had convinced yourself that whatever you felt, that haunting memory, was merely a byproduct of sleep deprivation. It had to have been, how else could you have explained it? Yet, each time your paths intersected and your gazes met, that inexplicable sense of familiarity would wash over you, leaving you grappling with unspoken emotions.

It had been a few months since the moment you and Remus had touched, yet the memory continued to flicker vividly in your mind, haunting your thoughts nearly every day. You longed for the presence of your grandmother, wishing you could confide in her about the inexplicable connection you felt. Somehow, you knew she would have an explanation for you. 

But deep down, you knew her inevitable conclusion: soulmates.

Soulmates weren’t real, it was just a term to describe how strongly two people felt about each other, right? You hadn't encountered anyone else who described an experience quite like yours. It seemed improbable, almost inconceivable.

But what else could it be? Perhaps, against all reason, you and Remus were soulmates. The idea hit you so abruptly that you found yourself momentarily breathless, nearly stumbling over your own feet. Shaking off the profound realization, you forced yourself to let go of thoughts about Remus and refocus on the present. Class is about to start, and you're not there yet — that needs your immediate attention.

As you collide with someone, you instinctively know it's Remus before you even lay eyes on him. His hand finds your waist, anchoring you, and your own hands fly to his shoulder, seeking stability.

There it is again, a newfound memory crashing into you.

"Promise me." Your voice pleads, your hands clinging tightly to his as you gaze up at him. Tears shimmer in your eyes, and you fight to keep them from falling, not wanting to add to his burden. Despite his attempts to hide it, he’s scared, and you can see right through his facade.

The sounds of farewells fill the air around you: children weeping, wives professing their love to their husbands, mothers ensuring their sons have everything they need. It's a cacophony of heartache, the anguish in everyone's voice echoing the weight of impending separation.

You despise it all, an urge to turn around and head home with him tugging at your heartstrings.

"I promise you. I will do everything in my power to make it back to you.” He vows, planting a tender kiss on your forehead. A sob escapes your lips as you cling to him tightly, unwilling to let go.

"M’love," He begins, his fingers tenderly brushing over your hair, a gentle attempt to offer solace in the face of overwhelming emotions. He understands his limitations, knowing he can only do so much. "I need you to look at me."

You comply, meeting his gaze. He presses your foreheads together, his hands cradling your cheeks. Tears cascade down your cheeks unabated, and you flinch at the anguished cries of a woman bidding farewell to her son nearby.

“I will come back to you, whether it’s in this life or the next. D’you hear me?”

You're the one who instinctively pulls away from Remus this time, a shiver coursing through you as the memory floods your senses. From the look on his face, etched with bewilderment and disbelief, you can tell he's relived the same haunting recollection.

"I don't understand," he starts, his hands momentarily rubbing at his eyes in a gesture of disbelief. He lowers them, his gaze locking onto yours with an intensity that speaks volumes. "Tell me you saw it too," his voice trembles, a whisper weighted with uncertainty.

"I did," you confirm softly, feeling a surge of empathy. Taking a tentative step closer, you meet his gaze with reassurance. "Can I touch you again? I just want to see..” Your voice trails off as Remus nods and comes closer.

The hallways are deserted now, the notion of attending class fading into oblivion for both of you.

Remus extends his hand towards you, and you delicately place yours in his. Your hand trembles, betraying the bubbling of emotions within you, and Remus draws you closer as he notices.

The memory continues on easily in his grasp.

"You have to come back, I can't do this without you," You implore him, your voice trembling with emotion.

"You can, you have before." He reminds you gently, his thumb tenderly brushing away the tears on your cheeks.

"It's not the same without you." You insist, your heart heavy with the weight of impending separation.

He yearns to remind you of the countless lifetimes you've shared together, where even amidst separation in one, you've always managed to find each other again in the next. You know this, but it doesn’t make the pain of it any easier on either of you.

"We always find our way back to each other. No matter what happens, we'll find each other again." He assures you, his voice filled with unwavering conviction. 

"We're soulmates." Remus murmurs, his voice barely above a whisper, yet it reverberates through the air, heavy with emotion. Tears glisten in your eyes at the weight of his words, a confirmation of what your heart has always known.

"We are." You affirm softly, your voice trembling with shock. With a surge of emotion, you toss your arms over his shoulders, seeking solace in his embrace. Remus responds immediately, enfolding you in his arms, holding you close as if he never intends to let go.

It feels like coming home.