#since she's clearly toxic and I don't think a whole eternity is enough for her to change her ways

[heloflor]

So after New Wish I started watching some random episodes of the og show, starting with the ones featuring Cosmo and Wanda’s families, which got me thinking of how those relationships could have evolved up to the new show. So here are some headcanons about it (2k words below):

The Cosmas:

For Cosmo’s relationship with his brother, I like to think they kept in touch after Schnozmo’s introduction, writing letters and seeing each other every so often, mainly at a bar or restaurant because 1. Wanda doesn’t want that man anywhere near her home (whether it’s their actual house or their godkid’s place) and 2. Schnozmo can convince his brother to pay for the two of them so might as well get a free meal out of it.

On that note, while they get along and would say they have a good relationship, Cosmo would definitely be a bit more guarded around Schnozmo, at least as in he understands why Wanda doesn’t want to be around him and he refuses to lend him any money knowing it won’t be paid back.

And outside of Cosmo, like I said Wanda doesn’t exactly like the guy. She can stand being in the same room as him and has no issues with Cosmo having a relationship with him but she doesn’t trust her BIL one bit. Schnozmo can sense her hostility and keeps his distance as a result, if he can’t get anything from her he’s not going to bother get on her good side.

As for Peri, Schnozmo strikes me as the kind of guy who doesn’t really like kids (at least he had the decency to save the baby in his episode but they don’t exactly interact outside of it) so I could see him make no effort in bonding with his nephew and tell Cosmo not to bring him along when they hang out. And once Peri’s grown, his uncle is basically a stranger so why should he care for the guy, likewise Schnozmo writes him off like he does Wanda.

With Mama Cosma things are a little bit more complicated. Ok so first off I know it’s not actually canon but rather something many people parrot but I really like the idea of Cosmo being 10 000 years old during the og show. This means that, with the knowledge he and Wanda had been married for over 9 000 years (I think the exact number is 9 895 years?), Cosmo only spend about 1/100 of his life with his mom before running off. So despite being a mama’s boy, he isn’t afraid to go no contact with her for a long period of time.

(More on the relationship between Cosmo and his mom in this post. Yeah I’m having a blast with the angst potential of Cosmo being one of the most powerful fairies out there but being considered both a danger and “waste of potential” due to being “dumber” than the average fairy)

But yeah during the events of the og show the two of them reunite and spend a lot of time together, with Mama Cosma especially coming in handy when they need someone to babysit Poof (she dealt with one overpowered baby, she can do with another one).

However, she’s basically playing doll with her grandson so by the time he turns 5-6 (if not earlier) and starts having his own opinions and as a result starts saying “no” to things, Mama Cosma does not take it well and becomes verbally abusive towards the kid. She also tells him there’s no use ratting her out to his parents in a mix of “they wouldn’t believe you” and “you don’t want to make your dad angry and sad do you?”.

Eventually Timmy hears about it and wastes no time telling Cosmo and Wanda, and Cosmo is pissed. So they go to the Cosma’s house, Cosmo tells his mom off because you know she wouldn’t listen to Wanda, some nasty things are said and Cosmo decides to cut contact with her again, this time more openly and making it clear it’s permanent and she better not try anything or she’ll regret it, especially since she knows how powerful her son is.

Also once they get back home Cosmo would profusely apologize to Wanda about never standing up for her. Because I like to think that Cosmo had always been pretty unhappy with how his mom acted towards his wife but chalked it up to Mama Cosma not having seen him in a long time and being a bit possessive as a result, hoping she would calm down with time and turning a blind eye when she didn’t. Wanda wouldn’t be too happy it took their son being hurt for Cosmo to do anything, but at least they’re finally done dealing with Mama Cosma.

So yeah after that they don’t have any contact. Maybe she’d try meeting them at some point only to be told off again (it’d be funny if she showed up like “I gave you some time to cool off son now about me getting back into your life” but she does it 20 years later because time just works differently when you’re immortal).

I could also see the possibility that, when Peri is well into his job and out of the house, Wanda would give Cosmo permission to have a relationship with Mama Cosma again if he wishes too, since I could see him miss her a bit, though I’m not sure Cosmo would take the risk. If he does, it would be with hard boundaries like Mama Cosma being forbidden from having any interaction with Wanda and Peri, never meeting at the Fairywinkle-Cosma house and if Mama Cosma makes a single comment about Wanda or Peri she’s out the door.

So yeah a complicated toxic relationship that would end with no contact but might open up at some point. Maybe. Probably not for a few millennia at least.

And if I need to say a word about Jorgen since he and Cosmo are cousins, I don’t see them discovering their ancestry as changing anything about their dynamic. Jorgen is still Cosmo’s boss and acts like it, same with Wanda. The fact those two often get in trouble for their kids’ wishes along with Cosmo being Cosmo doesn’t help in Jorgen keeping it solely professional between them.

As for Peri, while Jorgen does seem to have a bit of a soft spot for him (Peri flinching every single time Dev yells at him shows he’s a bit of a coward yet he shields his parents against Jorgen in “Lost in Fairy World” + Jorgen calling him “Peri-weri”), I could see it as having more to do with Peri being the youngest fairy rather than a family connection. Tbh in general I see Peri as being babied by most people who knew him as a kid, to his dismay (this is also my explanation as to why he changed his name, he wants people to stop immediately identify him as the last baby born).

Also I can’t speak about the Tooth Fairy because I barely remember anything about her personality in the og show and New Wish doesn’t exactly put her in the best light, so I’m going to say she’s like Jorgen on that front, not seeing the Fairywinkle-Cosma as family members and being nicer to Peri (her offering him a job) because she knew him as a baby.

The Fairywinkles:

For Blonda, I see her and Wanda as still having a tense relationship but they can handle being in the same room and do small talk. I also like to think that they’re jealous of each other, with Wanda feeling insecure when seeing her sister’s success while Blonda is envious of her twin’s simpler life (“simpler” as in “doesn’t have to deal with crazy fans and constant pressure to stay relevant”). So yeah they don’t exactly get along great but they can handle family reunions. Also if they talk things out there could be potential for a reconciliation.

As for how she feels about Wanda’s family, I could see Blonda be neutral towards Cosmo. She doesn’t mind interacting with him and might even find him funny, but she’s not too close to him either and doesn’t understand what Wanda sees in him.

In return, Cosmo’s chill with her. She doesn’t openly insult him so he takes it as her being nice and friendly with him (yeah when every single fairy you meet either mocks you or is terrified of you, the bar gets very low). That being said he’d probably feel uncomfortable whenever she insults Wanda and as a result doesn’t make any attempt to interact with her outside of family reunions. He also lets Wanda call the shots on whether or not they should interact with Blonda, understanding it’s complicated between the two and not wanting to pressure Wanda into a relationship she might not want.

For Peri, I could see Blonda babysit him a few times when he was a toddler if only because he was a celebrity back then and she could get some clout out of it. Although if you take the idea of her being envious of Wanda’s simpler life, I could also see Blonda babysit her nephew even after he stopped being popular because she enjoyed feeling like a regular fairy from time to time.

(the way I see it Poof was popular because his birth gave fairies hope that the baby ban was going to be lifted; but when it became clear the Fairy Council had no desire to change their rules, the hype died down and even turned into resentment towards the Fairywinkle-Cosma trio, one of the reasons why Cosmo and Wanda “moved out” of Fairy World once Peri was an adult)

As for how Peri feels about her, I could see him enjoy hanging out with her as a kid and especially as a teen (not sure how to explain it but Blonda strikes me as someone who could get along well with kids, like she’s the cool aunt who also spoils you rotten). But also Blonda doesn’t really have much of a filter when it comes to insulting Wanda so as he grows up and hears more and more of her comments, Peri would get defensive of his mom and spend less time with his aunt.

Tbh he likely already defended his mom as a kid but back then Blonda would just deflect in a “I’m just joking” kind of way and move on to something else, with Peri being too young to know how to properly react. But as a teen, he better understands that he can just leave the room and talk to her less.

And between him not wanting to see her much and Wanda having a bad relationship with her, the last time Blonda saw her nephew before a potential meeting during New Wish would be back when he was like 16-17 (so a good 5-6 years).

Finally for Big Daddy, we see in the og show that Wanda has a good relationship with him for the most part and often writes him letters (he even knew about Timmy). That being said she’s also intimidated by him and is afraid to stand up to him, causing her to lie about Timmy’s personality and hide her marriage.

So my idea for him is pretty similar to Cosmo and his brother. Wanda has a relationship with her father but she’s the one visiting him, mainly because he lives a dangerous life and she doesn’t want to put her family at risk. Also Big Daddy doesn’t like Cosmo so there’s no point in him visiting the guy, and since Cosmo’s terrified of his FIL he’d be more than happy to keep it that way. Maybe sometimes for a family dinner Cosmo’s invited, which is also when he’d interact with Blonda, but Big Daddy would mostly ignore him in those instances.

For Peri tho, since Big Daddy seems like a family man I could definitely see him want to have a relationship with his grandson, and after a while protesting Wanda eventually caves in (since again she struggles with saying no to him). She tries to still keep Peri away for his safety, like not having him every time she visits or keeping the visits short, but yeah Big Daddy would know his grandson and be attached to him.

Once he’s an adult Peri would definitely keep contact with his grandpa, especially since at that point he’d have the maturity to understand the risk (basically staying in contact with Big Daddy would be an informed decision and his own choice).

[pussymagnetmadara]

Sasuke + Sakura, please no.

Honestly, we are in 2022, Naruto the manga is not from yesterday, you clearly have time to read it again and again, how can people still tell me that SS makes sense in the entire work? Even though very often we recognize you pro SS, basically you accept this ship because your princess Sakura deserves Sasuke for everything she was forced to go through because of him... don't you realize that even that is incredibly toxic? So if you make someone "suffer" who has never asked for your opinion or involvement in their stories, and you suffer indirectly, then they owe you an eternal gratitude? No, I'm sorry, but no. Sasuke never owed Sakura anything from the beginning. Sakura's so-called feelings of love for Sasuke do not justify her involvement in Sasuke's life and ending up married to her and fathering her child. If we got this in final canon it's because of your incessant complaining to Kishimoto who never did your OTP justice. This ship is lame and flat as ever. Free to you to still send it but think before you insult other ships on Naruto as delusional people, because it is you that we should laugh at the most. You guys don't appreciate the background of the story, you just came for the so called love story that Sasuke owed to Sakura, for you nothing else matters, don't forget that Naruto is not a shōjo.

I've heard so much about it and to see you trying to defend your ship is so laughable because the manga serves you only one panel in the whole work and still... yes I'm talking about this particular scene.. 

and still nothing is provable in there. I remind you that Naruto and Sasuke had many visual exchanges much more intense than this one and the pro SNS hardly talk about it and I'm not a pro SNS at all for several reasons. Last time someone came to me claiming that he had written a story that traced and explained the love story of SasuSaku, but seriously, do you really believe that this is fan fiction, that you are writing in self-insert mode that does justice to your ship and that we will all wake up and finally believe it? No one else is doing this kind of thing but you. The canon material is so flat on your side that you have to insist on telling us about Sasuke Restuden, which I repeat here, is not canon. It's a fanfiction written by Jun Esaka, who said it herself on her twitter that Kishimoto remains the only official author of Naruto, he just drew the cover of your pro SS bible. This great joke cost me a choke with my morning coffee. Stop coming to us to harass and insult us because we don't understand your famous OTP which in your eyes makes sense because in the reality of the rest of the world, it doesn't.

But in the category that makes me most hysterical is the pro SS/SNS/Sakura who come to Sasuke to tear him down to make a fool of him, but why do you do that? If you don't like Sasuke, fine, free to you, but don't send your favorite character with another one you hate, it becomes ridiculous.

Here is a small list of canon elements that would have made more sense than SasuSaku:

SNS: I don’t like them as an OTP but they could have make sense.

Sasuke and Naruto call each other "the only one" friend or significant other?  as you wish, Kishimoto remains vague about this.

Karin Uzumaki: I do like them but I’m proud Karin has matured enough to move on.

Sasuke referred to her as the most powerful kunoichi he knew.

He developed a new sharingan power to save her from the immortal black flames of Amaterasu.

My own mother gave me a revelation that immediately reminded me of a scene from SS. The famous scene where Sasuke justifies his so-called relationship with Sakura. Indeed, the only link between Sasuke and Sakura today remains their daughter Sarada.

I explain myself here, my own parents, having never been a really harmonious couple, far from there and since their divorce proceedings, my mother said to me and I quote "For me, he remains only the father of my children, and that's all, it's the only thing that links us".

Exactly what Sasuke said about Sakura to Sarada because yes indeed, nothing binds them, nothing makes sense in their story except their daughter. Sasuke could have delivered more information, or could have told something else about their story and told Sarada that he married Sakura because he loves her and she is the fruit of their love but no, he remained very concise because there is nothing to say about them.