#simon is a cutie i will forever protect him

[messrsbyler]

so much could've been avoided if they'd closed those curtains

[janexeu]

     though the mist might prevent some from seeing it, JANE MÁRQUEZ is actually a descendent of HYPNOS. it’s still a question of whether or not the TWENTY-SIX year old DEMIGOD ELEMENTARY EDUCATION MAJOR from NEW ORLEANS, USA has taken after HER godly parent completely, but the demigod is still known to be quite SACRIFICIAL & STUBBORN.

( she’s b-b-b-back on her bs : katya ! tis uhm ,,,, a lil bit of a chonk of an intro but ill try 2 b cute w it. any time u wanna yeet jus peep the gif again & forgive me bc Look At Her ! )

POWERS ( more info here )

hypnokinesis  — p much made her a glorified babysitter w lynch-esque wacko dreams. it got stronger naturally as she got older, but jus w herself n eventually the ppl shes real close w. its also gotten a lot better since comin to eonia 

seeing gods in dreams  — she doesnt hang out w em every fridays at tgifs but like ,,, if she had Pertinent Questions she cud smhw make it happen. found out abt her being a demigod at age 10 when she met hypnos

memory retrieval — shes got great memry of her own but bc she knows it can help w grief n all that, shes been learnin in eonia how to do it 4 others if they mayb wanted it

BIO POINTS 

her single ma died during childbirth so jane's been in the foster care system since 5ever. attempts at reunification nvr worked out but thankfully she got real lucky w her group home and foster families. twas stable enough to not emotionally scar her even further but the instability of it all was fosho a big ol’ lot and has influenced her rigidness in sum aspects of her life

she lived p much as a mortal even tho her powers r a lil freaky. never went to camp but it worked out bc all her abilities r internal and cannot be Perceived by others. she had a talk w hypnos abt what 2 do n he mentioned camps but also gave sum monster avoidance tips ( like rarely use ur powers, maybe learn self defense, yada yada ) n she jus ,,, did that so she cud continue livin real normal w the mortals. logistics of camp stressed her out esp bc shes livin w non-family n stuff yk it was All Too Much, miss her w the added demigod stress tyvm

got married at 23 to her childhood sweetums luis, but he ,,, died abt a yr later fr a car accident. coma for 2 weeks n jane p much slept the entire time in his hospital room, visitin his dreams n talkin to him. twas a life support sitch so they eventually decided to pull da plug whch was real sad but like she's processed it 2 da best of her abilities. her powers helped a lot in the coping too n she visits memories of him in her dreams smtms when it gets real sad then shes ok again bc life goes on n life is pretty uwu

bc of her bg round kids of all kinds, shes always been passionate abt em. always takin babysittin/tutor gigs and went to community college so she cud teach n then worked as an elem teacher. only started considerin goin 2 eonia 4 postgrad when she had a student who showed signs n strugglez of bein a demigod. she eventually got to talk to their godly parent 2 confirm n she was shocked pikachu meme, real concerned for all those youngins who hav no clue what to do ! or how to cope ! bc they cant facetime w the olympians lyk she can ! so cue her discussin eonia w luis a lot then a year after the accident, broke out the pro-con list again. took abt *checks watch* another yr til she finally decided to zoom 2 athens but then whoosh she did !

PERSONALITY

yearning ? idk her — shes can be a bit of a take it as is typa chick. can be a lil literal jsksj not dumb but like ,,, def doesnt read into things enuff to pine n long n year yk. some things might def fly over her head. she says Yes To Serotonin in this house. she dk the the mitskis n the sikens n the carsons ; its all mary oliver up in this joint. we just tryna luv life n be grateful folkz

le freak, say chic ! — control freak, that is. growin up in an unstable envi meant shed cling 2 stability n independence, wrvr she cud get it. so when it comes 2 the way she does things, she can be real a heel digger. also bc she has 2 deal w kids yk so it can b A Lot n shes v stern lyk dat. ofc she wont infantilize the eonians .,,,. or will she ? big sis vibes outta control. she means well tho always always means well. itll also b v hard to get her 2 giv up on sum1 bc life ? she luvs it n knows u can too

changes by david bowie — is decidedly skipped on the playlist. she doesnt like change !!! i mean she knows its inevitable but still not entire unavoidable. ever since she got out of the system, shes had a partner n her own way of doing things n its been workin out so why change it yk ? she says time may change me but jokes on u i can sorta trace time 

rip but im different — this goes out to all em whores in this house. she respectz ur hustle but like ,,,, not her thang. girl doesnt even get drunk when she drinks bc she doesnt rlly drink sksjsk doesnt like the taste of it, big baby ! but like she's Lived, its more like. ok tried it, not for me. thanks tho. also for all the meanies in the house, y’all perplex her. shes empathetic n wont show the judgement but smtms shes lowkey lyk .,., ur how old n u had all this goin 4 u n ur still so rotten ? how u actin like a 7yo w a trantrum ? scratch head, make it make sense

at least u tried — dad jokes, bad puns, tries to be big jokester but isn't funny. she's pretty tho so she gets away with it. idk wht else 2 say ur honor. shes the type thatll embarrass u w affection

well that was Awkward — probably sum1 abt her if  they see her actin a Fool bc shes in a foreign sitch or topic. when shes a fish outta water then she can be so ! easily ! flustered ! which is p much her in eonia. shes not new new but theres way 2 much godly shennanigans for her to wrap her head ‘round n sis has never gone to camp so its ice bucket challenge level shock from time to time still w da magics n lore

til death do us part — yknow when death cab for cutie said i knew that u wer a truth i wud rather lose than 2 hav nvr lain beside at all ? how abt when they wrecked me by rudely sayin love is watching sum1 die ? yes ? no ? nywy thats jane 4 ya. if she loves then shes in and if shes in then she is all in, luke danes stylez

was that a vivid enough picture or did i just word vom the same things agen n agen sjksjs jus know shes cute n sweet if a lil frustrating n annoying bc shes stubbornpants mcgee. may or may not have a slight compulsion to help fix other ppl ..,,.. someone set her str8 n tell her fix u by coldplay isnt it !!!  

OTHER INFO 

5′9″ born 4 october 1994, virgo sun n moon

not a freshie ! idk how long her program is but like ,,, lets ignore that 4 now ok jus kno that she been here a while

yogi & boxing enthusiast back at home. hc her mans got real into the martial arts w her when hypnos told her she gotta learn how 2 defend so that was one of their things : bonding by workouts so jane cud protecc herself if need be

her maiden name’s jane fulton. got her mommas surname but the name jane ? thats some jane doe bs some rando picked out for her which she hated at first but then seeing tarzan made her go hmmm, ok bet !

lgbtq+ alliance president ! identifies as pan

she met her late hubbie when they were abt 7ish, real friends 2 lovers cuteness. jane was there for him throughout his entire coming out & transition ergo her passion for the community esp queer kids bc she was That Cis Ally for her mans. wears her ring as a real lowkey necklace now

shes also real passionate abt sleep. will ask u how did u sleep last night p much every day u see her bc ppl spend like half their lives asleep catherine ofc shes gonna ask

her fave thing abt eonia ?  the whole siblings bit. shes had 2 make do w what she got n build a family from scratch so this ? she luvs it a lot let her give u kithes hypnos babies

shes p well versed in the greek thingies but only thru the knowledge mortals gets + dream info. after her realizin who she is, all things ancient greek jus sorta became her niche interest ykwim ? shes not like Super Learned abt it more like ,,, ok i gotta at least make Sum sense outta all this, gotta learn what i can. imagin how embarrassin it wud b 2 see a god in ur dream n then go : sorry to this man. nope. not jane, not her, nuh-uh 

luv languages : words, acts of service, physical touch !

useless hcs but she loves disney sfm ok. smtms dresses up as princess tiana for bday parties n shit bc shell do nythin 2 put a smile on the kids n babs faces

ya like jazz ? bc jane surely does ! adores motown & 60s music. nina simone owns her. no one drag peggy lee from 101 dalmatians ! not an important hc but i jus wanted to quote my bubble butt winged bee lover barry

POSSIBLE CONNECTIONS

children ! infants ! babies !

demigods that make her scratch head damn u live like this ? but also wud knife emoji to protect n care for. shes not the oldest on campus but shes been livin independently p much her entire life so she finks shes got a tight grasp on the myth that is Adulting  

srsly tho the Big Sis vibes is off the charts w this one. shell perserve u dumdums

baddie influencies !

convince her 2 get drunk at a party ! bc she never does. convince her to maybe try drugs ! or go hook up ! do smths impulsive idk jus smth new !

gl tho bc shes not rlly ,,, easily influenced But she can b reasoned w ! in general i fink its just gonna be a fun dynamic if y/m knows how to coax sum wildness outta her or w/e bc thotty yummy theyre hotty yolo rzning jus wont do w this gal. will most likely get argumentative like a big ol momma hen but if u win then ur winning big

Sleep Now or forever hold ur peace !

idk sum1 she helps w their messy sleep ? shes def not super public w it, surely knows her other siblings r Better at it but if  y’all are close, she probs enjoys doin it 4 ya. she runs her hair thru fingers a lot when she does it. like a lot a lot unless u tell her to get lost

lover boi, lover gorl, lover enby !

she can be a lil traditional when it comes to how she views rels. she wants all that meetcute courting bs ! no gender roles tho n u best be sure shes not constantly comparin w her late hubbie ,,, but she jus wants smth magical n 2 be wooed again yk ?

so yea ,,, crushers mayhaps ? sum1 who is tryin 2 woo her ? sum1 she had a meetcute w and now janes got lowkey heart eyes for em ? idk lotsa possiblities but pls keep in mind she is not good at the flirtings so hav mercy on her 

eonia tour guide !

or jus friends who like ,,, constnatly fill her in w all the godly stuff n whatnot. years of not goin 2 camps mean u miss out on a lot ! explore ruins w her n get her info her mortal educ didnt make her privy 2 yk 

head real empty atm i will think of sum n let y’all know when i do, but give us all the conekshunz. friends, enemies, the usual bit, lgbtq alliance peeps, lmk whats up whats done whats cookin we want it all

( shes p much a new muse n da result of me tryna bring in an emotionally healthy kid to this sad sad university. janes in a v good well-adjusted place rn n is my therapy muse bc that other bitch m** is a messy handful. but wbk life aint linear so mayhaps shit’ll hit da fan or one of y/m will ruin her lmfao press f pls ! but also color me eyes emoji bc we love to see it )

[ill-heart]

Detroit : Become Dream Daddy

Welcome to Detroit ! The best place to find your Dream Daddy. You just arrive from another place, don’t know anyone and you are looking for the perfect “Daddy” (if you know what I mean *wink wink*). 

Women... Men... Let me introduce you your neighbours !

Hank : The grumpy and depressed one ! The cop’s Daddy with some big and cutie beard. He loves black coffee, drink until he vanish, and his dog : Sumo. If you don’t love dog, just get out the way. Bitch. But don’t worry, if you show some mercy for the criminals and the lesbians he will like you very much. Sumo is his son, don’t question it, just accept. Or prepare to be shoot right in the f*cking head.

Markus : The artist !!! He is tortured inside, and he is always follows by some great violon music. Because, why not ? He like painting and playing piano, and have an art association named : “Free Jericho”. Seems like the perfect match if you really enjoy THE ART. However be careful, ‘cause he can become violent if you touch his precious children : Simon, North and Josh. Don’t touch them. Or just try... And we will find you corpse in the river the next monday. At your own risk ~ 

Luther : He attack. He protect. But more important : he loves. The bodyguard,  the mysterious and fluffy one, really cute when you know him. The big black bear prepare to sacrifice himself and his sleep just to come and get you at 2 am, or to save you from the bullies. No one can touch Alice and Kara, his wonderful daugther and wife. Maybe you will have some special place in his heart ?

Connor : Hi. This is Connor the goofy man sent by Cyberlife. He is cute. Right ? RIGHT ?! With his voice and face designed to make all the fangirls and fanboys scream like little girls. If he winks, you will die, protect yourself, because his cuteness will touch you right in the kokoro sempai. His child is Amanda... Yeah, the kind of child you don’t want to handle ‘cause she want to kill everyone. Don’t come near her, just ignore her. Just do that. 

Ralph : He have no job, no home, no family and this is sad. Really sad. Be kind to him, hug him and drown him under your eternal love. He loves knife, he have knife and knows how to use them. The knifes are Ralph’s children, and he likes stabing people whom looking dangerous. However, if you show him your beautiful smile he will keep you forever. FOREVER. 

So. Who is your favorite Daddy ? :D Let me know ! 

[millenialdruid]

Tag game!

tagged by @hungarianducks​ and @u-san​ - sorry it took me forever to do the game but yeah you know... Ármin happened :D

RULES: Choose any three fandoms (in random order) and answer the questions, then tag 10 people you want to know better.

Three Fandoms:

Captive Prince

Haikyuu!

Shadowhunters (series)

The First Character You Loved

Jord

Noya (rolling thundeeeeer!!)

Izzy, she’s so badass! a true heroine!

The Character You Never Expected To Love So Much

Laurent... until I got to know how smart he is

Iwa-chan <333333

Jace! in the books he annoyed the hell out of me but Dom did wonders with his character

The Character You Relate To The Most

Nikandros, i’m also that dont take bullshit kind of person lol

Daichi, i know what it feels like to be the leader of a team - its hard parenting work

Luke, he doesnt want drama, just problem solving and protecting everyone

The Character You’d Slap :

Jokaste, I’m sorry but shes too much for me, reminds me of Cersei (GoT)

Hinata, maybe it would calm him down sometimes lol

Clary, ALWAYS AND FOREVER

Three Favorite Characters (in order of preference):

Laurent, Nikandros, Lazar

Iwaoi (i’m sorry theyre a set), Kuroo, Bokuto

Magnus, Raphael, Isabelle

Character You Liked At First, But Don’t Like Anymore:

Aimeric, he annoyed me by the end, rip

Kenma, i dont know what to do with him, without Kuroo hes like meh

Ollie, the typical you tell her no but does it anyway and steers trouble

A Character You Didn’t Like At First But Do Now:

Torveld, too much fanfics i tell you

Tsukishima, he just wants some snuggle and attention

Seelie Queen, cutie but have you seen boobs??

Three OTPs:

Damen/Laurent, Pallas/Lazar, Jord/Nikandros

Iwaizumi/Oikawa, Akaashi/Bokuto, Kuroo/Bokuto

Magnus/Alec, Raphael/Simon, Jace/Maia

I’m too late so I only have @yeollie-bells to tag. Love you all sweethearts~

[takaraphoenix]

Shadowhunters?

I feel like that show is like nearly unfair to ask because I feel like I already put all the thoughts into the A/Ns of my Shadowhunters fics. Like, if you’d go through them chronologically, you’d probably get the answer. But sure, I got a couple hours to spare to do it in one go :D

And sorry for the long wait, but I knew from the moment I got this ask that this one was going to be the longest. Gotta find the time to write that down too.

I, quite obviously, love the show. But it might also be one of the most flawed shows I’m currently watching.

The thing is, when I started watching it, I binged the first season after it first aired and then turned my back on it because it was just Not Good. Like, at that point I was 100% convinced I would not tune in for season 2.

About nine months later, my parents were interested in watching it - we have those family TV nights, it’s a tradition - and I figured, oh well, won’t kill me. And what can I say? I actually liked it more.

That is a hundred and fifty percent thanks to Amelie Plaas-Link.

Amelie lends her voice to Clary in the German dub - and she completely saved that show for me. Like, there’s a lot of plot that bothers me a lot about this show - and I will get into that in a moment - but my rule of thumb is “If I can’t stand the main character, I’m not gonna force it” (that rule was established when I finally managed to give up on Grey’s Anatomy after too many wasted years of trying to watch it for the sake of everything else).

Now, in the German dub I realized, she’s not that bad, it’s Katherine McNamara. Like, yeah, she’s a cutie and she looks good in the role. But she does not act well in that role. At least not in season 1. Season 2, she’s gradually getting better at acting, but oh dear, her performances in season 1 are downright painful. Her constant flat whining and the line-deliveries were so nerve-grading that not even the gloriousness that is Dominic Sherwood could have saved season 1 for me.

But Amelie Plaas-Link gives Clary a more grown-up feeling. She delivers the same dialogue, but with more conviction, more feeling and definitely less childishly high-pitched whining.

Where Katherine’s line-delivery makes Clary feel like a whiny, entitled brat, Amelie gives Clary the feeling of a traumatized, scared girl, which she should be.

So that rewatch in German? That was what ultimately got me hooked and made me watch season 2 in English - and yes, Katherine does get better in this season, thankfully enough.

Now let’s talk plot.

Season 1 forced the “Love at first sight” trope way too hard. Between Clary and Jace, as well as Magnus and Alec and even to an extend Simon and Isabelle gave the same vibe for like the first half of season 1. It’s like the writers instantly decided that to write a plotline that includes characters falling in love would be too exhausting to write?

I’m very grateful - but also confused - about the turn Simon and Izzy took. Where the first half really made it look as though he was instantly hooked on her and she was interested in him, they didn’t push that. I think they could have, you know, still let the two have screentime with each other in 2A because completely dropping all interactions between them was also not the best move, but I appreciate that they took 2B and have the two now slowly inching closer together again. To make this one love-story maybe an actual falling in love slowly thing instead of the love at first sight.

I don’t have the malice to get into why I dislike Clary and Jace as a couple. I just do. And that Jace instantly was so obsessed with her that he basically threw everything else over board for the sake of helping her just made the “hook” for that couple really awful for me. Like, you do not treat your family and friends like shit just because you’re busy mooning over a chick you literally just met. And yes, Jace is my favorite character, but his behavior in the first half of season 1 in particular was just not good.

I mean, don’t get me wrong, I do love the show and I had my “hook”. My hook being Jalec. That’s also the reason I started watching this show. If I’m going to repeat everything I said in A/Ns before, I’ll also repeat that part.

I watched the movie, back when it came out, and instantly adored Jalec and was hyped about it. Then there was no second movie. By the time the show rolled around, I only have vague recollection of two things - there was a female lead who seemed badass and there were a dark-haired grump who was canonically in love with a very cute blonde twink.

Show!Jalec are just such an improvement to movie!Jalec, to be honest. And yeah, every single parabatai-magic scene in season one had me at the edge of my seat squealing with OTP feels. When even Clary commented that that looked awfully intimate, I wildly agreed. They were just so precious, I loved it.

And then there was Malec. I was aware of its existence - after watching the movie, I went to the fandom sure that it must be flooded with Jalec, but instead there was only Alec with this guy who had like five minutes screen-time in the movie and wait what? So yeah, bit disappointed when I read online that Jalec was not endgame. And thus I also knew what to expect in the movie.

But it was, again, this love at first sight thing. At least on Magnus’ end. I do like how it took Alec some convincing, but generally their plotline was what I disliked the most about season 1 - not due to my personal feelings about the ship but due to how badly it was written.

It was the cheapest rom-com plot of all rom-com plots. “Let’s invent a female OC just for the sake of drama! And oh, let’s squeeze a wedding in here even though we are waaay too busy with actually important stuff!” and that Magnus literally came in the “Speak now or forever hold your piece” moment and Alec dashed over to him to kiss him.

I’m pretty sure this fandom would have at least a 100 better Malec fanfiction of how they could have gotten together, but the show just turned it into such an overused rom-com trope that was also so poorly executed.

Let’s be real, the “Malec” episode was a giant Malec fangirl using her old fic plot. It was so over the top, they should have gotten together on a private level and not in public literally in front of the whole Institute. It was way too rom-com… as Simon even points out afterward and yes, Simon’s reaction was exactly what I picture the writer must have squealed like when pitching the plot.

I really wish they had given the ship a more dignified way to set sails instead of such an over-the-top squeaky fangirl fanfiction way. And yes, I’m aware I’m hitting a stone-wall with the shippers there because they’re just happy their ship sailed, but what I’m saying is there could have and should have been a better written way to make them sail.

Not to mention the reactions. I’m sorry, but… Robert and Maryse took that shit like fucking saints! Like. Seriously. This isn’t even about Alec being gay, this is about Alec being the one to propose to someone, Alec being the one to try and better their family’s image by doing so and then Alec kissing someone else in the middle of the wedding with everyone watching.

As a parent, I would have been furious. It was Alec’s idea to rush this proposal. Yes, a political marriage was the idea of his parents, but Alec chose Lydia and Alec was the one who decided to rush this whole thing.

And then they have this glorious wedding where I’m assuming everyone with a name and who is important was present because the whole purpose of the wedding was to better the Lightwood name and to do so you gotta show off. And then Alec just rans off into the arms of not just someone else but a male Downworlder.

And even without that “male Downworlder” part, this would have already been a publicity nightmare for the Lightwood family, but considering their society and what we heard and learned of Shadowhunters to that point, the “male” alone would have been an outrage but the “Downworlder” part on top of it should have like… caused at least some outrace? A little bit? But it was all totally polite. And yes, the Lightwood parents expressed their distain but let’s be real for a second, that was justified.

If my kid came out to me like that and then introduced a centuries old guy to me with the word “No, no, we’re not dating, it’s love” - because it wasn’t at that point, it wasn’t about the true love get together but about Alec admitting to his own sexuality and I do like that addition and that they acknowledged it instead of looking at it through pink-tinted glasses, but honestly that must have been such an additional blow? Like, “Okay, you just ruined our reputation. For a guy. Who’s a Downworlder. But at least it’s True Love, right?”, grasping for straws but then to have your son essentially laugh in your face?

Holy shit, during that whole scene, Robert and Maryse were saints, in my eyes. I mean, this could have gone down way different. On a homophobic level, on a racist against Downworlders level, on a ruined reputation level. There were a lot of angles that could have been used to have either or both Lightwoods lash out and for Alec to face serious reprecussions, but instead he just got a mild warning about how he should watch out because the guy he chose had quite the reputation. And like? Wow, you had more luck than brains there, Alec.

So yes, as someone who loathes rom-com movies because they’re brainless and have the most ridiculous excuses for loads of drama that could be avoided if people talked to each other, the way they handled Malec’s getting together was just not satisfying to watch.

On that note, I want to talk about Magnus for a moment. I love the guy! Magnus was literally my biggest surprise in this show, because going in, I was semi determined and sure Magnus would end up being a character I wouldn’t like because he gets in the way of my OTP and I get very protective over my OTPs. Instead, he became my second favorite character within the first season.

His flourish, his charms, his wit, his smirks, his outfits, his magic, his personality - literally everything about him. Magnus Bane is amazing and I love him - and Harry Shum Jr only makes him all the better. He plays him so brilliantly, I was baffled. I only knew Harry from Glee and he didn’t get a lot of chances to really act there because he was such a background character, but oh boy, that guy can act.

And thus my OT3 for this show was born, because is Jalec is OTP and Malec is canon, let’s just throw them all together and see how Magnus and Jace work (spoiler: they work so well and Jagnus fast rose up to become my second favorite pairing for this franchise).

So, as you might have noticed at this point, this particular review is a bit of a mess and all over the place, but let’s stay with the characters for a while.

Simon didn’t really do enough to get me interested in him until season 2. Like, he was just… there. Like in the movie (I legit do not remember a single thing about him in the movie). And while the same could be said about movie!Izzy, she did really get me hooked in season 1 already.

I love it when the gorgeous, sexy girls are also smart and can kick ass. It’s normally either only one of those three very amplified or a “You can have two out of three”-kind of deal. Very rarely *cough* Buffy *cough* do you get all three of them. And boy, is that woman gorgeous and deadly.

Let’s circle back to Lydia for a second. I know she’s a show OC and she was really literally only created for the above mentioned rom-com drama, but she shot up to become my third favorite Shadowhunters character. Particularly due to the “Malec” episode, because she took that was so much grace and kindness.

I would have slapped Alec in the face? Like? No matter that it’s a political marriage and neither of them are in for the fuzzy feels. If I get a wedding dress and got important people watching me… and then my groom-to-be runs off with the High Warlock? Wow. That woman definitely has more understanding than imaginable. The way she handled and took that made me admire her for her strength and kindness and it really made me headcanon very hard that Alec and Lydia would become the best of friends (Lydia needs to return to the show).

Since we’re circling through characters here; Luke. Luke was the first thing that really got my attention in the show, because Oh my gosh, it’s the Old Spice Guy! I love that guy! And his voice! *squeal*. Which, yes, that was exactly my reaction when Luke first showed up. I really like Luke and I love the change they did from the book, that he’s a cop here. It just… fits really well, to get them involved with those cases, to have an in into all the supernatural attacks through the cop investigating them.

I just wish that, down the road, that would have been a bit more fleshed out. With Luke and Alaric being partners, both being wolves, I kind of assumed that the precinct was crawling with Downworlders and that they were… organized. Which would just make so much sense, world-building wise. You infiltrate police, hospitals and fire departments with Downworlders, you have a network of them to control Downworlder business leaking into the mortal world. But if they’re not aware of each other, or end up partnered with a mundane, that’s just… chaos. And aren‘t Downworlders really around long enough to actually organize this?

I would have expected the captain to be a Downworlder, who keeps track on the Downworlders on his force and specifically asigns them the Downworld-related cases and keeps the mundies busy with mundie stuff. That is what would make sense, to me. And that is what’s lacking. They started the police-thing with a good idea behind it, but they didn’t flesh it out in a way that would have made more sense in the context of this world.

Now, the last character I want to get into is Camille. Camille doesn’t make sense to me. She’s the powerful leader of the vampires of New York, which sounds like a good deal. She’s been around for a long time so she must know how to survive.

But… still she just randomly decides to turn a totally random mundane into a vampire, even though she must have known the price it’d cost her? Why would she risk that, aside from “We need it for plot because we need vampire!Simon”? That was one of those writing decisions again that just happened for the sake of plot.

Other things about season 1 that bother me and were poorly put together/written out (to wrap season 1 up and move on to season 2):

Circle members frolicking outside of cells. This is a point that will be proven by season 2 again and again too, but we already encounter it in season one with not just Hodge but also the Lightwood parents. They’re essentially the Shadowhunters equivalent to Nazis and terrorists, Circle members I mean, but… they get off with a slap of the wrist? Because they… changed? Imagine real life news about someone involved in the Third Reich and who pleads he got better. Yeah, no, you going to jail for crimes against humanity, man. That those three not just didn’t get thrown into the City of Bones, but also get to walk around freely and that, on top of that, the Lightwoods seriously are the heads of the Institute? Like? Imagine that. I mean, really truly imagine that, former terrorists get to basically work in the White House. Something just doesn’t feel right there. And yes, the Lightwoods did change… but Hodge didn’t. And if they had fucking thrown their former terrorists into cells to rot in, then the entire thing about the Mortal Cup wouldn’t have happened. It’s just, and we’ll get back to this for season 2A, the juridical system of the Shadowhunters is juridiculous.

The fact that no one questions anything in this show, if being oblivious fits the plot. Like, when Clary and Jace went to that parallel world where they were dating and then moments later, learn that they’re siblings. And neither of them pause and think “Mh, how utterly strange that Valentine was a good guy and good dad to Clary in that alternate reality, but that Jace wasn’t raised as her brother then? And that they were dating and neither Jocelyn nor Valentine had any problem with that? Mh. Maybe that is worth investigating. Maybe we should like make a blood-test to see if the sociopathic manipulator really told us the truth.”. I mean, science exists in this world. How does no one make a test but instead just take the words of the genocidal maniac at face value? How is that a thing? Aside for the purpose of plot and tension.

Same goes for the reveal of Michael Wayland being alive slash not alive. Like. “Oh, wow, we found a guy in a closet in Chernobyl where we were brought to find Valentine and changing faces is A Thing Shadowhunters Can Do Easily, but we won’t question it at all” - even without the thought that Valentine could have been Michael Wayland all along.

Which brings me to the first time I legit was impressed by Clary. Because she actually didn’t buy it and she didn’t let Valentine fool her into giving him the Mortal Cup and I was Very Relieved by that because at that point, the story-telling was just too many convenient closed-eyes and turned-aways to allow plot to continue. It wasn’t clever writing, it was forced writing - and I’m not a fan of that.

If you have to force your characters to do Stupid Shit that doesn’t make sense if one were to use at least half their brain, just for the sake of creating obstacles and making the plot last longer, then I got some bad news about your writing abilities. They are not good. Because a good writer would be able to achieve those things in a natural flow and create tensions that fit the plotline instead of forcing a square through a hole, so to speak.

So yes, all the things I just mentioned as badly written character and plot decisions in season 1 were the reason I decided that I wouldn’t put up with season 2, topped off by my dislike for how Clary being played.

Then I rewatched season 1 with a superior dub for Clary and that improved the show a lot - seriously, the main character is a very important key-figure and it’s supposed to hold the show together if that falls flat, then the whole show might come apart by the seams. I also really fell even more in love with Jace when rewatching it and by the end of season one, when he sacrifices himself to keep his friends safe, I was left thinking “Okay, I really wanna know what happens to the puppy and if he’ll be safe”.

So I watched season 2.

I genuinely feel like they switched writers for that season, because season 2 has an entirely different feeling than season 1.

Where season 1 had a lot of awkward writing, it at least did have better pacing. Season 2 had more evened-out writing, but awful pacing (particularly in season 2B).

Season 2. Let me start off by what I said earlier I’d get back into; the juridiculous system of the Shadowhunters. The above mentioned unpunished terrorists aside, they throw Jace in jail. Like. He got abducted and tortured - and you see the torture on him when he arrives, he was not having a fun trip with daddy dearest. But they just… torture him even more and then throw him in jail? A society that fails to punish its own terrorists throws a victim into jail? And something just really went very wrong there.

And let me stay on the note on how ridiculous the Shadowhunters’ society and particularly their politics really are.

They change leaders more often than some people change their socks, for fuck’s sake. We started season 1 out with Robert and Maryse in charge. By 1x08, Lydia Branwell arrives and takes over. By 2x01, Victor Aldertree is the leader. But that changes when in 2x11 Imogen Herondale takes over, but no worries she passes on the mantel to Jace in 2x13, who instantly passes it on to Alec.

They have a total of seven leaders of the New York Institute within two season. Seven. That’s pathetically ridiculous. Whenever one thing goes wrong, their immediate solution is “put a new boss in charge” and their preferred method of doing so is “get someone who has no idea about the NY Institute”, like Lydia or Victor or Imogen. I mean, holy shit, how is that a thing? They’re in the middle of a war and instead of reinforcing their troops and helping out, they just change the leader to confuse everyone and make their own troops even more unstable? Wow.

Not to mention that, while personally I think Alec is a very good leader, he should have never gotten the position? I mean, Jace was more of a stand-in appointed by Imogen and how did neither she nor the Clave have any protests when Jace appointed Alec Lightwood, after the entire point of this game of musical chairs was to remove the Lightwoods from their position in power? Within two episodes of him being head, the Clave should have come knocking at their doors and, considering their track-record so far, put a new envoy to the Clave as the head instead of Lightwood Junior.

Moving on. Let’s get back into characters, because another major player is introduced this season. Maia Roberts.

I’m inclined to say that I don’t like Maia’s character, but then I feel like I can’t really say that because she doesn’t have a character. She is the single best example of this show’s inconsistent writing. It baffles me. I want to like her and I like the idea of her and I like how fanfiction interprets her, but her show version?

It’s ridiculous. She is introduces as “I don’t give a fuck about laws, I will downright murder you even though I have no proof at all that you’re actually the killer of my friend and even after it’s revealed you’re innocent, all you get is a lot of shit from me”. Then she changes into this cool character as a friend of Simon’s, who’s understanding and sweet. And then she flips the switch back on as she goes onto “I don’t give a fuck about laws, I will downright murder you because you could potentially active that Soul Sword and I don’t care that you’re my Alpha’s daughter, essentially, and that we could look for a better solution”. And then she switches right back to Simon’s friend who is cool. But then she goes back to being a total bitch toward Jace once again and acts like she really hates him - which, okay, I could live with because not everyone has to be friends with everyone - but then she sleeps with him.

Most of the time, show!Maia feels like they should have invented a second character and split her plotline up into the homicidal maniac bitch OFC and Maia, the good friend of Simon and loyal pack-member of Luke’s. Because those two characters squeezed into one? They clash. Trying to murder Clary clashes with being absolutely devoted to Luke, as she has been at literally every other instance of this show. Sometimes, I’m convinced show!Maia might be bipolar or schizophrenic, because those manic phases and mood swings kind of remind me of that.

Let’s talk about Victor Aldertree. While not being a Circle member, he’s is not a good guy either and he should have never become head of the Institute to begin with.

From his questionable methods of torturing one of his own soldiers who got abducted by the enemy, to randomly torturing Raphael a little later and best of all, getting one of his soldiers addicted to drugs.

I mean. There is? No fucking way? That Victor didn’t know how addictive Yin Fen is? He literally warns Isabelle about it, but he warns her in a “This stuff is addictive, watch out. Here, have the entire jar of it, I totally trust you not to get addicted and use it moderately even though it would have been ethically correct to order you to come to me or the infirmary once a day to have it applied”-kind of way that’s just really not right? And I have literally no idea why. If he were a Circle member and if this was a method to sabotage the good guys - getting her not just hooked on drugs but preventing her from entering the citadele - that would have made sense. But Aldertree isn’t a Circle member, so what exactly was his motivation behind this…?

And while we’re at it, let’s talk about Jocelyn.

I do not like Jocelyn. I mean, that woman is a walking Bad Decision after the other. From the moment she decided that having her daughter’s memories wiped instead of telling her truth would be a good idea? Even if she never introduced Clary to the Shadowhunters, she could have at least taught her that it was real and that Clary needed to watch out. Particularly as a child, Clary was vulnerable to attacks and she would have been safer if she too knew what to look out for. Not to mention the incredibly invasive decision to wipe Clary’s memories.

But hey, at least she’s a bad mom to all her kids, so there’s that. I mean, in that brief time she thought Jace to be her son, she shot him with the intention to kill him. Not based on anything Jace - or Jonathan - did recently, but solemnly based on the fact that baby!Jonathan had the ability to kill plants.

Based on something a toddler who couldn’t even talk or walk or use the potty did, she decided that her son was irredeemable. That he never learned how to control his powers - just like he never learned how to talk or walk or use the toilet, right? Because we have completely reached our full potential as toddlers and can not be taught anything anymore, right? Especially not control, of course.

Even if Jace had been Jonathan, there was a huge chance that he could have learned to control his powers over the past eighteen years. Because I actually believe that if Jonathan hadn’t been raised by the cruel, soulless and heartless Valentine, he too would have had a chance to learn how to control his urges and powers.

Not to mention, killing a couple plants is not exactly evil incarnated. If he had used his powers and accidentally killed like… the neighbors. Oh yeah. Heck, even just the neighbor’s cat would have already been more justified. But it were just a couple flowers that a baby who could not even control his bladder yet had killed.

Holy shit, you’re the worst mother on this planet. A good mom would have tried talking to her son first, would have clung to the smallest chance of hope that her son wasn’t the Antichrist. Instead, she doesn’t take any of the very valid doubts that sprung to my mind instantly even remotely into consideration and immediately decides to kill her own son.

Yeah no, I’m not sad that they killed her character off.

Let’s move on to happier topics, because I’m already getting a headache here.

Jace moving in with Magnus will forever be the best decision this show made and I will always cherish it and to my dying day, Jace is living with Magnus at the loft in all my fics and no one will ever take that away from me.

Ithuriel looked pathetic when we first met him. Like, I get that he was run down and exhausted, but his wings were the cheapest props I’ve ever seen. You can literally go to any convention ever and you’d find at least two cosplayers who made more convincing and realistic wings than that cheap shit and I am quite frankly embarrassed by what the show pulled there.

Not to mention, those angelic powers are Really Plot Convenient. Once again.

Clary and Jace share the same angelic blood. But the angel only calls out to Clary. Because if he’d also call out to Jace, then we might get suspicious that he doesn’t have demon blood, so conveniently that only works on one. And conveniently, Jace’s angelic blood powers only kick in after he is told that he even has them - and never-ever before in his entire life. Sure.

I do not support the show’s decision on making Raphael feed on Isabelle. He is old and experienced and asexual enough to deny her. And yes, that last one also plays into this, because if Raph was just a straight horn-dog, then I would have bought the old and experienced vampire being tempted by young, gorgeous, sexy Isabelle into feeding her and then also having sex with her. But since that angle falls flat, I really don’t see why that old and experienced vampire would have been weak enough to be tempted into that.

Robert and Maryse. Oh gods, I’m so angry about this, I don’t know if I have the energy to type it out.

I hate Maryse Lightwood and fuck you, show, for attempting the cheapest, flatest, dumbest redemption-arc in the history of redemption-arcs! Just fuck you!

Maryse Lightwood is Not A Good Mom and Not A Good Person.

She made Isabelle’s life a hell so far by emotionally abusing her. And yes, I see the way Maryse treated Isabelle as abuse. She has hugs and warm smiles for her sons while she treats Isabelle like… Cinderella, essentially. She has nothing but coldness and disappointment for her daughter and I’m sure that emotionally crippled her.

Maryse told Alec, when Jace was still on board of the Morning Star, that he should abandon his parabatai. Not just his adopted brother and best friend, but his parabatai. She, who she adopted Jace and should view him as her son, tells her biological son to cut all ties. She also can’t make the time to be at her son’s bedside when he is literally dying because he’s trying to use the parabatai-bond to find Jace.

Maryse repeatedly tells Max that Jace isn’t his brother, because a child that age doesn’t pick shit like that up after only once. She said it often enough to warp Max’s mind to the point that Max flat-out tells Jace to his face that he isn’t his brother.

And after Jace’s fears manifested thanks to that demon at Magnus’ loft during the runeing party, and he actually apologizes as though he has done something wrong, she needs to be arrogant about with that high-and-mighty “No, stop. I don’t want to hear your apologies”, visibly deflating Jace just to continue as though it’s a grand gesture “I’m the one who should apologize to you”. Fuck yes, you should? You gave up on him when he was abducted and tortured, you didn’t stand at his side when he was thrown in jail and you told both his brothers that he’s not their brother like he’s not even part of your family.

And then the show puts the weakest excuse ever up as a reasoning? A sob-story on how Robert cheated on her? Oh, if you know me a little you know where I stand on cheating - cheats are the scum of the Earth. But being cheated on does not justify that kind of behavior. Fuck, it doesn’t justify any of it and even though cheating should not have been the solution - a fucking divorce would have been - I completely understand why Robert sought out love from someone who, I don’t know, doesn’t have a heart of ice? Yes, he should have gotten divorced from her and cheating is Not Okay, but just because your husband cheated on you, that doesn’t make you as The Victim all of a sudden a good person? The whole “Something bad happens to character and suddenly everyone coddles character and everything is forgiven”-plotline is the most pathetic cop-out imaginable and neither of her four children should have that easily forgiven her past wrong-doings just because she sobs a little.

It is not a justification for child neglect or child abuse when your husband cheats on you. It is not.

Robert, I don’t give a flying fuck about. Like, in season 1 he was set up to be the better parent of the Lightwoods, but now he’s sorted into the category of scum of the Earth, so yeah. I vote for Luke to adopt the Lightwood kids and be done with it.

The reveal that Jace is not Clary’s brother was, again, so forced and awkward. Like, touching the sword makes you say the truth but only if you’re actually asked something and Valentine essentially blurts out all the things even though he doesn’t have to? Just for the sake of reassuring Clary and Jace shippers that their ship would still be able to sail? Really?

The entire eleventh episode of season 2 is just one giant fucking mess, if I’m being honest. Like, if you’d ask me to point out the most flawed episode of the show? This would be it. “Mea Maxima Culpa” even beats “Malec”, because that episode was only messy due to an overdose of forced rom-com elements. This episode however is a total mess.

First we got Isabelle, who’s trying to get over her addiction but still Alec leaves her unsupervised in a fit of Very Bad Withdrawl, which was already Bad Decision 1.

Then Isabelle goes out to find vemon, is attacked by the demon and decides to go home with total stranger Sebastian Verlac, Bad Decision 2. For all she knows, he could have been a Circle member, for heaven’s sake. His story was so shady and that odd coincident of “Hey, I was addicted to Yin Fen too!”.

Sebastian offers her a wonder-drug that’s supposed to help her overcome her addiction faster, but she never heard of it - and she still takes it. She takes a drug from a total stranger that’s supposed to speed up recovery. That is literally how her Yin Fen addiction started, for fuck’s sake. Bad Decision 3.

Isabelle stays with Sebastian instad of immediately returning, or at the very least instantly calling her brothers to let them know that she was alive and safe. After all, she was attacked by that greater demon so she knows there’s something dangerous going on and she should have known that Alec would notice she left. Bad Decision 4.

They don’t track her fucking cellphone. She disappears and they don’t track her cellphone - which regular mundanes can do, for heaven’s sake - and we see her having her phone at Sebastian’s. Bad Decision 5.

They don’t track her runes. In a later episode, we learn that the Clave can track all their Shadowhunters via their runes. So how do they not use her runes to track her? Bad Decision 6.

No, instead of any those things, they of course decide to go and as Valentine for help. That sounds like it should be more than just Bad Decision 7, really.

But it’s instantly followed by Bad Decisions 8 and 9 - because both Clary and Jace, out of everyone, think that listening to Valentine of all people is in any way or shape a good idea. Out of all the characters in this show, those two should really know best not to trust the manipulative asshole, who also happens to be locked into a cell so why should he know anything about what is going on outside.

Bad Decision 10 goes to Magnus for actually helping the idiot Shadowhunters in summoning a Greater Demon. That in itself sounds like such a bad idea, but considering that idea was suggested by Valentine, how in the world does the High Warlock not nope out of that and whack them upside the heads?!

So, yeah, I consider season 2 episode 11 to be the lowest point of the show, because its writing has more plot-holes than is justifyable for an entire season of a show, much less for one episode. It comes off as so forced due to the bad writing and they should have worked through this in a way that would have made at least a little sense.

How exactly is ‘Sebastian Verlac’ not instantly thrown into the City of Bones? He literally abandoned his Institute. Isn’t that high treason? Like, the exact same thing Jace got thrown into jail for? At the very least they should have questioned him? A lot? About why he abandoned his Institute and why he came to New York. And if not the Clave, at the very least our Shadowhunters should have been so much more suspicious.

But what I legit hate is how they reveal from the first episode on that he’s not a good guy. I haven’t read the books so when this new character came dashing in, saving Isabelle, he could have been a good guy. But they had to ruin it - in episode 11 already - by showing how Sebastian burns his own hand over the stove and you instantly know “This guy ain’t sane or good. Something’s seriously wrong with him” and that just… it completely ruins the reveal of him being not a good guy. Sure, the show caters to the book-readers, but couldn’t we like pretend that a lot of people actually have their first contact with this story through the show? And it would have been an amazing reveal later on, if we had Sebastian introduced as just this random new good guy, in the same way Lydia had entered the show later in season 1, to just join the cast. If we came to trust him like Isabelle did.

But instead, they instantly ruin the surprise and then they just… don’t really use Sebastian? I mean, he really doesn’t do a lot in the whole infiltration thing? They could have really used him better, made him actually a part of the team, have him properly befriend - or more - Isabelle, have him properly try to get to know Clary and Jace. But he just… awkardly stands in the background and then pushes himself onto the missions. The entire Sebastian-Jonathan plotline could have been written so much better so it’d have been an actual huge surprise.

I really don’t wanna get into the racism debate of 2x13, to be honest. It was handled and written so poorly. The message was clear, but… it felt so entirely out of place and forced. If those killings of Shadowhunters would have started a couple episodes before then already and we’d have build-up to this, but to squeeze it all into one episode and have the Shadowhunters instantly snap from “We’re supposed to protect mundanes and Downworlders” to “Let’s racially profile all the Downworlders and also right away start chipping them like dogs” was just… too much. It would have come off as a slightly more… believable reaction if the panic about the attacks had been looming for a little longer, but this way it was just far too forced and came off as a very strong over-reaction from them and not as something those characters would believably do.

I dislike how Aline was treated like such a throw-away character. They introduce this new Shadowhunter and have her barely be in any scenes before she leaves again. The lack of recognizable non-main character Shadowhunters on the show is one of my big problems with it, actually.

I mean, Isabelle, Alec and Jace grew up in that Institute. But aside from Raj… there’s kind of no Shadowhunter who actually gets a speaking role? Did they never make any friends? Like? I want to see casual interactions between them and other Shadowhunters, I want reoccuring faces with names. I want Alec to send not just the main characters on missions, but like have nine people on the meeting and Alec assigning teams and us seeing other Shadowhunters being sent out there too. Because the show mainly feels and comes off as “We have Alec, Jace, Isabelle and Clary. They handle All The Missions, while all other Shadowhunters just aimlessly walk around in the background”.

And when they introduced Aline, I thought we’d get another reoccuring Shadowhunter who is friends with them and who has, even if just brief, interactions with them. Instead, she’s right away sent off again.

The Seelie Court was also painful to watch. That Clary was doe-eyed enough to let Simon tag along, I’ll buy. But that Jace can’t stand his ground was just ridiculous. And that Simon was actually dumb enough to think that being vice-class-president in middle school qualifies him to meet a millennia old supernatural queen is pathetic. That episode would have been more believable if they hadn’t written in that clause about how only Jace and Clary were supposed to go on a mission. If they had just set it up as a regular mission and Simon as part of the team would have made this feel so much less forced.

Also, that episode and what followed was what officially made me dislike Clary. In season 1, she just annoyed me due to the actress’ shortcomings. In the German dub of it and then in season 2A, I actually grew very fond of Clary.

But Clary dating Simon, who has been pathetically in love with her for so many years, just to try and get over her feelings for Jace, but then failing and still being hung up on Jace, but not enough to actually give him a chance, was just… a sign of bad character, really. And I mean “personality”-character here, not “fictional character”-character.

How she had to tell Jace that it meant nothing and then just… avoided him from there on out was so childish and annoying. And the return of season 1′s whiny, entitled Clary when she kept bothering Simon and trying to cling onto Simon and force herself back into his life was just so not appreciated by me. Like. You just broke his heart? And you expect him to right away be okay again and be there for you? Holy shit, you really are an entitled, self-centered brat, no, stop it, I had grown fond of you, damn it, keep it together, Fray.

I feel like I should also mention Dot before I get closer to the end of this. Her character doesn’t make much sense too. Like, to me, she already died like four times. Every single time she appears, I am literally surprised because I thought she died the last time we saw her. But still, she always returns and it confuses me so much? Because if she keeps living, how is Clary not more determined to save her from Valentine?

And then she finally is freed and suddenly, she’s… Magnus’ ex-girlfriend? Whut? That was a really weird moment to me, personally. Because the two of them felt more like old acquaintances, certainly not like friends and especially not like former lovers, back when we saw them first interact in season 1. When she nearly kissed Magnus, knowing he had a boyfriend, she completely fell through for me. As before mentioned, cheats are the scum of the Earth - and that goes for both parties. If you tempt someone who’s in a relationship and you know that other person is in a relationship, you’re a fucking asshole who’s deliberately hurting the person the cheater is actually dating so fuck you too. I’m really glad that Magnus pulled back before kissing her, that his integrity was preserved there.

I hate that it even got that far - because Magnus can’t talk to Alec at all. Like. Malec is an unhealthy relationship in the sense that they completely lack communication and that is the key element to a healthy relationship. They don’t talk about anything. Ever. It takes Alec far too long to push Magnus about the body-switch trauma. Magnus never voices when something is bother him - like how Alec was seriously rude and unfair to Magnus when he learned about Isabelle’s drug addiction, or how Magnus was obviously not a fan of separating their work and romantic relationships. But instead of talking to Alec about these things, because Alec has never been in a relationship before so a few guidance pointers would be appreciated and communication is key to a healthy relationship, he just swallows everything Alec says and does with a sharp not of the head, until it all becomes too much and he explodes and breaks up with Alec. Which, yeah, everything considered and topped off by the lie about the Soul Sword, totally reasonable conclusion to be honest.

It was obvious they’d get back together because they’re canon’s endgame, but I don’t think they should have gotten together before the end of the season already. That should have been one of the hooks for season 3. “Stay tuned to see them get back together again!”, because you can not tell me that any Malec fan watching was seriously heartbroken in the sense that they believed this to be the end of their ship. Of course will they get together again, but I’d have preffered for it to be a slower process of actually talking about their feelings and mending that they broke in the course of season 2B, because both of them made mistakes. Instead, it’s again a rushed mess of “And they’re back on track! No worries!”, even though there really was never anything to worry about, because everyone knew they were going to get back together.

And on the note of rushed things toward the finale, let’s talk about the Mortal Mirror.

This show and its characters have an amazing track-record of missing the obvious. It took them decidedly too long to figure out where the Mortal Cup was, it took them way too long to realize the Soul Sword was not “in the citadel for cleaning purposes” (what the fuck kind of bad lie was that anyway? Like? How did not everyone instantly know that while Valentine had been captured, the Soul Sword had been stolen by a third party?”.

But Clary instantly knows that not only was the pocket-mirror a ruse, she also right away realizes that the real Mortal Mirror is a lake - and she even instantly figures out it’s Lake Lyn?! Particularly that last one was downright unrealistic for her to already realize. That was, really, an act of “We’re on episoe 18 of 20 so we need to make something happen that moves plot forward because we don’t have the time for them to slowly and realistically figure out where the Mortal Mirror is”.

Personally, I think the entire second season had the potential to be two seasons, if you had stretched it to twice the size and for that, slowed down the pacing and had the twists and turns more realistically. It’d also have given for more character interactions and sub-plots, like for example on Luke because until the last fourth of the season, him being pack Alpha and having wolf-problems really fell flat.

Okay, three more things and I’m done.

First of all, the Seelie Queen. Her obsession with Simon is just creepy. And Simon is a total moron for not just provoking her and thus leading to Maia’s abduction, but for then striking a deal with her to free Maia instad of consulting Magnus and Luke and literally anyone else for help first.

The main characters believing that Sebastian|Jonathan died when he was stabbed and pushed off the bridge was just embarrassing. I mean, not to sound like Simon, but do Shadowhunters not watch movies? At all? The bad guy never dies when pushed off a bridge, they always manage to crawl on land. Not just did the show use such an overused trope here, but they also didn’t have scouts out to find said body? Really? Really?

And the very last thing is Jace’s death. The death itself was good. I liked how he was literally stabbed in the heart by his father-figure. All the angst. Love that.

Clary has a serious problem with letting people stay dead though. Let’s turn Simon into a vampire. Let’s owe a shady warlock some kind of unknown favor so she brings back mom. Let’s ask the angel to bring back Jace.

Not to mention that I find it nearly baffling that, considering unlike in the books, the show killed Jocelyn first, Clary wouldn’t wish for her mother to be back. Or, at least phrase the wish differently “I wish those I love would be back”, or something along those lines.

Way too fast. Jace’s death, just like Malec’s reuinion, should have been left hanging for season 3. It should have ended with a cliffhanger as Jace lays dead and we see Alec’s reaction to that death.

Because - and say it with me, children - it was obvious that he wouldn’t stay dead. As obvious as the fact that Magnus and Alec would get back together. He’s literally the male lead of this show and that kinda status keeps you safe from permanent death. Especially with a franchise taking place in a supernatural world where virtually everything is possible.

Instead, Jace is brought back like three minutes after dying. And it’s such a let-down. Those would have been two huge hooks for viewers to keep them on their toes for season 3, without being risky hooks, aka hooks that run the risk of chasing viewers away and making them stop watching out of protest. Because everyone who seriously thought Jace would stay dead or Magnus and Alec wouldn’t get back together, well, I marvel at their ability to completely turn off their brains while watching a TV show. Safe but suspenseful hooks for the next season.

And that, to sum it all up briefly, is one of the show’s biggest problems. It doesn’t know how to handle suspense. Every time something happens that is potentially suspenseful, they ruin it somehow - by the instant reveal of Sebastian being not a normal guy, by instantly bringing Jace back, by rushing all of their big reveals all the time.

I am praying so hard for the pacing of this show to be better in season 3. For them to take things slower and stop rushing them, keep suspense to give it the chance to properly build up.

Don’t get me wrong, I love this show. I truly do. Among all the shows I watched, it easily climbed up to my number 5 spot of favorite TV shows. But I don’t believe in the concept of blindly loving anything. I need to be able to see its flaws even if I love it. And this show is very flawed.

[missyhopps]

1, 5, 9, 13, 10

1. is there a muse that you wish gets more attention?

Honestly, Melissa. She is so chill and has her shit together probably more than the rest of them and I feel like i don’t always give her the attention she deserves. 

5. if you HAD to choose, who’s your least favorite muse?

Oh man this one is kinda tough but I’d have to go with Ella since she is so uptight and it frustrates the hell out if me lmao!! 

9. why were you drawn to each one of your characters?

Oh boy be prepared for one hella long answer (Under a read more for Reasons): 

Melissa: I really wanted to play Judy Hopps in an rp and I knew I had to use Daisy Ridley cause she just fit so well to me and I absolutely love her!! I didn’t really find any rps that I felt fit for me but then I stumbled across this one and I figured i’d give playing her daughter a shot instead. Honestly, it was the best decision I have ever made!! 

Blane: SO Captain Hook is like my favorite disney villain and I just love pirates so much I really wanted to play one!! As you guys know I am Star Wars trash and the idea of using Adam Driver (who’s my bae) as an FC popped into my head and  I couldn’t resist. I really love blane though because he is a huge grump but secretly underneath he has a heart of gold and If you couldn’t tell by now that is like my FAVORITE Trope!! 

Elliot: I really wanted a character from Frozen and I absolutely love Anna’s personality. She’s so loving yet feisty and I really wanted to transfer some of her personality into one of her kids. THUS Elliot came about!! He was actually originally meant to be a total smol but then the thing with Finn went down and he just kinda turned into an impulsive, fiery, goofball lmao!!

Aria: At the time when I brought Aria in, all the Olympus kids were really tough and just badass and then I got the idea of making an optimistic child from Olympus who was like the baby of the group and needed protecting and I knew I had to apply for her!! Also I really wanted a girl character since Melissa was my only one at the time. 

Simon:  I’ve always thought that Princess and the frog is grossly underrated and I just love that movie so much!! When I got the idea of playing Simon I couldn’t resist. He is just so shy and awkward yet loving and just ahhhhh he’s my little baby!! 

Violet: Okay so I had been wanting to Play the daughter of Victor and Victoria for a little while but I didn’t really act upon it until Whale had said that she wanted to bring in Emmy. Then I was like Okay I have to do it now lol!!  Honestly I love that she’s so gentle and vulnerable Even though I can be pretty awful to her for that very same reason. (Sorry Violet) 

Chloe: I had been wanting to play a really crazy party animal type of character but I had zero idea of where to put her. Then I saw that The fairy godmother slot was open and I just fell in love with the whole rebellious, out of control, youngest daughter aspect!! The rest just kinda fell into place after that!! I honestly have no idea how the whole batman thing started though but it’s became one of the staples of her personality!! XD 

Zelda: I really wanted to use KIm Taeyeon Cause she is bae!! I was tied between making her the daughter of Lucifer or Zero and I ultimately went with Zero because he’s like my fave and I lowkey wanted Halloweentown kid!! I think what I love the most about her is how clueless and excitable she is yet, she’s still endearing at the same time!!

  Ruby: I just really wanted a bitchy stuck up kinda character and I knew I wanted a daughter of the queen of hearts so then came Ruby!! I then started thinking of really dark headcanons for her and she kinda transformed from being this stuck up brat to being a lot more vulnerable and I honestly like it much better that way!!

Rooney: Before Rooney I used Alex turner for this really chill, flirty son of Jetsem but my muse for him just plummeted. I really wanted to use Alex Turner still though cause he’s a total babe! When Lucy wanted a sibling for Stevie I was totally sold!! I love that he is like a stereotypical bad boy type who is a total fuck boy (even though he isn’t really so much anymore) with an abusive father and Idk  I just really love him!! 

Warren: I’m going to be completely honest the idea for Playing Warren actucally came when I heard Grim Grinning Ghosts on a halloween playlist lmao XD!! I actually went to Disneyworld last summer and I rode Haunted Mansion like four times while I was there and it just made me think about how amazing it is!! Then I started coming up with headcanons and a backstory for one of the hitchhiking ghosts and I become obsessed with wanting to play him!! I am so glad I did though cause despite the little shit he is I love warren!! He is really different then most of my other characters and I really love playing this smug asshole!!

Cecily: Beauty and the Beast is my favorite movie of all time and I really wanted to play a princess character so badly so when the slot for Beast and Belle’s kid opened up I knew I had to play her!! The first time I played Cecily she was just all up in everyone’s business and Idk I didn’t really like that a whole lot. Then my muse for her just disappeared and I dropped her which I regretted. Luckily I picked her back up again and she turned out being a lot more gentler and sweet the second time around which I like a whole lot more!!

Ginger: I love Suzy so much and I really wanted to use her but I had no idea where. Then idea of making her a sugar rush kid came to me and I really liked it!!  Rancis is a little shit but I love him and the idea of him being this affectionate dad was one i fell in love with!!  Ginger was supposed to be a lot brattier then she is now but she ended up being this total sweetheart and i don’t know how that happened lol!!

Elise: Originally Primrose was my sweet flower obsessed blonde princess but I lost my muse for her and I just really missed the idea of having a sweet nature loving princess. Rapunzel is like one of  my favorite princesses and I just love her so much (Clearly, like I use her for my mascot and everything lol) So I got the idea of playing her and Flynn’s daughter and it was a total no brainer!! 

Archer: I honestly have no idea how I got the idea to make a son of Sitron cause he is such a small and obscure character but I did. I know I wanted a skittish smol from the isle who was an easy target. Park jinyoung is such a cutie and he seemed to really fit the bill and so Archer came to be!!

Bridget: TBH I HAD THE IDEA FOR BRIDGET FOREVER!!  Since last november I’m pretty sure.  The idea of an energetic sweetheart who had dyslexia and was actucally really insecure was one that wouldn’t leave me alone. Eventually I gave in  and the rest is History!!

Ella: Like Bridget Ella was one I had wanted for some time but just never had the strong enough muse to apply for. I also couldn’t for the life of me decide on a Fc for her. I thought of using Crystal Reed but then I ended up using her for Cecily. Then Rouge one came along and me being the trash I am, inspiration struck. Ella turned out to be a lot more of a pain then I had ever imagined she would be though lol!!

Olivia: Boo is adorable and I wanted to play a character who was just very childlike like that so I figured I’d play her daughter!! Plus Lee  Sung Kyung is just gorgeous!! 

Addie: My inspiration for Addie actucally came about when I was looking for Faceclaims to suggest on the Fc help blog. I stumbled Upon Ashley Moore and I thought Wow she could totally be the daughter of Coraline and Wybie. From there, I started thinking of a personality for her and headcanons and it just spiraled out of control  lmao!!

I got 13 in another ask actucally and If I put it on this one it will end up becoming a novel lol!!

10.which muse is the most fun to write for?

I think i’d have to say Warren cause he’s just such a little shit and an unapologetic asshole. He’s also pretty different from the rest of them and I love the whole aspect of him being a ghost it makes writing for him a lot of fun!! 

[theculturalvacuum]

A Storm of Fan-Fic Asks Round-Up!

This is the last of the bunch that I’ve been hoarding. What we learned is that this story doesn’t have enough characters and that their relationships aren’t complex enough.

The next chapter is going to be a long one so, like, don’t hold your breath. (I promise it’ll be worth it?)

The Story: A Wedding in Sunspear

Anonymous said:

Lovin the tales you are spinnin My Lady, one little ask, why does Ormond never mention his mother when he asks about his sister and Clarion? Did she die? Run away to spouse island? Went home? Gone native and living with a paramour? Been fridged?

I mean, having one parent be mysteriously non-existent is kind of a Martin-esque tradition when it comes to Dorne… I don’t think she’s dead. Her name isn’t grey on the family tree. She may be like Senna on Project Voicebend, except she never asserts that she is also there?

I doubt Edgar pays her much attention, and the kids take their cues from him.

Anonymous said:

Wow, Daeron is a dick, but very realistic. Especially with all his privilege and probably no one ever telling him the truth. Even Jeremy probably still sugar coats things to him, given their situation and the massive difference in rank. Also for Daeron all the love matches around him he probably makes him think he deserves a bite of that pie too. Everyone else in his family broke engagements why shouldn't he. Maybe he didn't want to be left out of that club.

Daeron is, indeed, a dick.

Like, Jeremy deserves so much fucking better. Any decent thing Daeron has ever done was only because Jerry was there having a positive influence. What does he see in the spoiled dickhead?

Sorry, sometimes I forget that I made up this relationship dynamic and it makes me angry.

Anonymous said:

Are you sure you didn't get the lineages wrong with Deneza and Joleta. The one without the Martell Mama is the one who seems much more Martell (or at least the devotion of job and duty) and the one with the Martell Mama seems to embrace the Martell special status she gets from it but not take on any of the duty aspects.

Ha. Maybe that’s Joleta’s Gargalen side? I have no clue. They’re certainly more chill than Martells.

Deneza’s job is kind of a big deal. And this wedding is the biggest thing she done. Joleta is kind of being a jerk.

Anonymous said:

What's the coat of arms of House Laq? I'm guessing it's got light green on it somewhere, considering Kylie's family tree

Yes, it’s a light green field with a grey stone watchtower. Their words are “Our Ground Remains Firm”. Because, like, they live in a river valley in the middle of a desert that floods seasonally, like the Nile, so the literal ground isn’t so firm, by they are. Because they’re so steadfast and junk.

Yeah.

Anonymous said:

Well now I have to know more specifics So what fruits is Deneza into? Dates? Berries? Apples? Figs? Pomegranates? Apricots? Or is she a junk food dornish style kind of gal who? Is she secretly into dornish eggs? The ones that don't exist like spaghetti Bolognese doesn't but weirdly she likes this northern appropriation of what they think is a dornish dish.

She likes persimmons, because they’re the best and she has good taste.

She thinks all those northern “Dornish” dishes that they think are spicey but totally are not are adorable.

Anonymous said:

I feel like the big thing that's coming is dany and maron fucking in the middle of a feast or something. Am I close?

Omg. No comment.

Anonymous said:

Is Simon Leygood the indebted Simon who tried for Rohanne's hand? Or is he another Simon? Lets hope Lady Blackmont keeps him away from money if he's the same guy.

No, that dude would be, like 100 years old by now. Those Leygoods have family names, I guess.

Anonymous said:

Will we hear a bit more about how Owain is coping in Dorne in the upcoming chapters? I wonder if in the future he'll go native. His life will be interesting and a bit freer. He's there with his cousin who is going to be the consort of the Princess of Dorne and he's staying there so he'll be a well connected match for a lady of Dorne who wants to be closer connected to the Princely house. He seems quite easy going, Dorne might agree with him. Plus he's under miles less pressure than Eliott

Well, he’s Eliott’s BFF, so he’ll be around for sure.

I’m sorry, but anything like the phrase “Dorne agrees with me” just reminds me of Madison and her stupid slutty dress. Maybe Owain will start wearing a bathrobe of sex appeal?

JK, he doesn’t wear a sword on dates either.

To be honest, I haven’t given much thought to Owain’s future, maybe he’ll hook up with Alyse Ladybright. She would see all the social climbing implications that you mentioned.

Anonymous said:

Daenella is the best. Kind of nice to see a sort of somewhat anti-martell who doesn't take her responsibilities so seriously. I'm sure those poor smallfolk where she is were delighted when she came thinking that they'd get answers to their questions and then action and now they're probably sitting around wondering if they could exchange their martell for another one

Aw, poor smallfolk.

I wouldn’t call her an anti-Martell, though. Her ability to flit around doing whatever is just the other side of the privilege coin as Loree and her tyrannical tendencies.  

Anonymous said:

Yay, was cool seeing a bit more the bigger non POV characters again like Joleta and Rhona. Rhona is a superstar, she not only gets all the shit done, knows everyones name, now she's lost her bed as well. I'm glad she seems to have job satisfaction though, lol, she has a fantastic position at court in the ear of the future ruling Princess a job she'll likely have for a long while is the grooming to take over goes well, I'm sure losing her bed for a little bit is no huge price to pay

Yeah, Rhona has a pretty plum gig. And she’s good at her job and everyone knows it. I think her brand of administrative competence is admired the same way that martial abilities in men are admired. It’s the same reason Deneza is thought to be such a badass, for example.

It’s kind of a bizarre world where you can parlay a job helping a lady put on her jewelry into one collecting taxes or whatever, isn’t it?

Anonymous said:

Poor Genna that must have all been very unpleasant. I don't thik she expected that to happen probably a dornish guy wouldn't have bragged in the same way or at least not in that particular setting, plus the dynamic would have been different with a dornish guy. don't think she was quite prepared for this mess at all, nice to see her with Gallwel though, although he's a younger brother so that's probably a different kind of dynamic than one where Maron sees her as a younger sister to protect.

Yeah, Genna might have the Martell lack of perfect judgement when it comes to sexual partners, but she wouldn’t have done it if she knew that would happen. And gender roles still exist, so most women would think they need a bro to punch dudes in the face.

Anonymous said:

What do you mean you hope Joleta and Deneza don't hit any rough patches, you naughty author!!!!!! You are the boss of them don't let them control you, you tell them to behave and play nice and be together and happy forever. Thank god there isn't any bullets in this world or else you know exactly who those damn things will be attracted to like magnets. Thankfully lesbians seem to have less issues with arrows.

You know, relationships are hard.

I’m not saying arrows will be involved, but there will be exactly one death in this story.

Anonymous said: How widely known is it that Arion is Genna Sand's father? Maron, Dany, and Genna herself all seem to know, as does Ariandra Fowler (who seems to think it's her duty to know everyone's business). Is it one of those things that almost everybody knows, but it's considered rude to talk about?

Dude, everyone knows. It’s officially just a rumour, but it was obvious from day One.

Anonymous said:

How do you imagine Ormond and Olyvar Sand's relationship? Ormond squired for Olyvar and was knighted by him, but he seems to have a closer relationship with Rhod than Olyvar. Speaking of Ormond, do you see him a foil for Loree? Loree is almost a perfect reflection of her father, while Ormond is quite different from his own father. Is that just a product of being raised at Sunspear/the Water Gardens or would Ormond and Edgar be different even if Ormond were raised at Yronwood?

Yeah, I should put some work in that relationship. Olyvar is kind of intense, so I think Ormond couldn’t really turn to him for that more nurturing father role that he needed, and Rhod is a total softy. But as I said, I’ll put thought into this.

As for Ormond being nothing like Edgar… I suggest rereading “Ormond I”?

Anonymous said:

I'm really enjoying your Rowan's. I was always going to like the Martells because well duh!!, but the Rowans have really got my attention, particularly the two cutie pies of Sarra and Aelora, as well as my main man Adwin. Eliott is fun but I foresee him having a rocky road ahead before he finds any kind of solid ground in Dorne. Corret is like the typical Reach dude who even has his own courtly love story that could be a song. It's good to see them holding their own in the character stakes.

Thank you. Women with patriarchy brain are the most fascinating characters ever, and Corret is a bit of a challenge. It’s really tempting to make him a total asshole, but I have Tybutt for that.

Anonymous said:

I'm strangely positive for virgingate. I feel like Eliott needs to have his bubble properly burst before she can actually get his head around the life and marriage he's going to have. Once he's done that then he can slowly start finding a place in his new world and creating an actual relationship with Loree and learning and embracing soft power and a role he never thought he'd have. But until the bubble truly burst he'll keep clinging to the image in his head of how he thought his life would be

Well, I guess the question is if he’ll be able to get over himself.

Anonymous said:

Okay so I'm sorry, but in a modern au what are the cliche college tropes for your characters? Lewyn is the likeable jock, for instance.

Okay, here we go:

Loreza - the legacy kid who still gets straight As.

Eliott - Soccer player who everyone likes. Very good at beer pong. Secretly came to university to actually learn.

Alyse - the naturally brilliant one who doesn’t need to study.

Horas - Asshole football player who everyone tolerates because football in American universities terrifies me.

Dany - the younger sister who came for a tour and ended up drunk.

Rhona - Obsessed with her resume

Morgan - the younger brother who has all the college sweatshirts and wears them to middle school

Maron - the legacy kid who wouldn’t have gotten in otherwise

Lewyn - the good hearted football player everyone likes

Joleta - the party girl/star of the tennis team

Ormond - Double major in english and history. He didn’t make the team. He’s invited to all the parties but ends up taking care of the drunk people. His dad is in jail for a while collar crime.

Elda - the one who’s in the pictures from all the parties, but is never tagged

Genna - the cool one who also has a tragic backstory

Jeremy - closeted water polo player

Daeron - the fine arts major with blue hair. His thing is graphic design. It’s his passion.

Rolyn - IR major who likes to play frisbee on the lawn of the frat house. Member of the debate team, but he makes it cool.

Eldon - Baseball player who’s fucking a professor. He’s a really good pitcher, but chose college over the farm system. General mensch.

Mariah Florent - the cheerleader that no one finds hot

Olenna - in the marching band.

Ami - the one who you don’t understand how the hell she got into a university in the first place. Oddly devoted to her boring, and much less hot, boyfriend.

Tyia - Scholarship student who studies accounting because she’s sensible. Plays the flute in the orchestra.

Alleza - High school kid who takes college courses for fun.

Alastor - Brilliant history grad student with a substance abuse problem. He’s the TA who shows up shit faced.

Deria - Cool professor, buys the underage students beer.

Artyr - Perfectly adequate polisci grad student overshadowed by his sister.

Deneza - Economics postgrad well into the tenure track. Somehow got herself involved with a student.

Anonymous said:

Maron only likes three people? I'm assuming that means Arion, Morgan and Dany. But he seemed to like Genna well enough. Does he not like his grandfather and mother and aunts, and uncle? Even though one of his aunts and his uncle are so much younger than him, he surely can't dislike those two that much, Devan in particular is only a kid. I can imagine though when he is at Wyl him and Ariandre have an interesting relationship to say the least.

I’m not sure how much Maron like Arion, to tell you the truth. He did kind of, like, abandon him for ten years. His formative years too. And a lot of Arion’s proud papa stuff with him is guilt. (He’s still a Martell, after all.) This is another thing I should actually explore, I think….

But yeah, I meant Dany and his two sibs as the three people. He thinks the rest of his family are okay, I guess, but those are the three people he would actually get off his ass for.

Anonymous said:

My main take away from this new sumptuous chapter was, Deneza works too hard, Joleta feels neglected, probably horny and Deneza feels like Joleta doesn't care about how much pressure she's under right now. Not sure much else happened in this chapter, think there was some guy called Daeron involved in some fuckery but mainly my attention was fully on my OTP of this canon having a domestic. When this is all over Deneza and Joleta need some alone nakey time and a looooooong chat, then more nakey.

You know, if sex could solve all relationship problems like that, I would never have any relationship problems ever. What a world that would be.

But yeah, Joleza are way more interesting that Daeron had his general dickishness.

Anonymous said:

I have no idea what you've got planned (or not planned) for little Ellaria Uller but I hope we get to see her interact with her dad when Corret I around. I just want to see the contrast between them, but also secretly I want Ellaria to be the very clever type who Dylan hopes might one day be a Keeper of a Tower, or another high ranking job. And Corret is just bewildered by it all, and how Dylan is so into the idea of having a clever daughter who will help run Dorne.

I like this idea. She wants to be just like her Aunt Deria when she grows up.

And poor Corret.

Anonymous said:

Besides Daenella, would you describe any of the Martells in your fic as hot Martells? Rhod and all his siblings seem to be pretty cold (even Arion only seems lukewarm) and Loree and Lewyn both seem pretty cold as well. Would Maron and Joleta count as hot Martells because they're half Martell or are the disqualified for not having the Martell name?

Well, the Hot and Cold Martell paradigm is a gross oversimplification of complex personalities. People like neat stories.

That being said, Rhod and Loree are both about as Cold as you can get. But even they both have… moments. Keep reading.

Arion is more than fifty, so he’s mellowed out. In his youth he was as Hot as Oberyn was, even if he never managed to kill any of his dad’s bannermen. Trystana is… not as Cold as she’d like to think. Lewyn is quite lukewarm. Maybe because he’s just a kid or maybe because I haven’t really characterized him all that well.

I don’t think people in Dorne would consider Maron or Joleta Martell enough to have a temperature.

Anonymous said:

Is the lack of Fossoways at the wedding intentional? I'd have thought they'd be all over this situation given their close blood connection to Eliott?

To tell you the truth, I never considered them. This story already has so many characters.

God, this ask round-up is all about my failings as an author isn’t it? If you like you can pretend they’re there in one of the giant retinues, but never do anything worth mentioning.