#silva is right to want their boundaries respected

[atlas-of-a-human-soul]

Hello, could I request a Saul Silva x reader? I really like your blog :D

Pairing: Saul Silva x reader

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Leaning against the wall, Y/N inhaled sharply. Her hands shake, cold from the rain pouring down. Hair dripping with water, she clenches her teeth as her heart pounds inside her chest.

She had spent a month working her way to guard duty, determined to see him. Every day since Saul Silva was arrested felt like a hopelessly long nightmare.

Y/N isn't even sure if he remembers the last time they saw each other, the day she dared to cross the boundaries he set firmly in stone. That day, exactly as she turned twenty five, Y/N decided she couldn't hide her feelings any longer and kissed him. He didn't respond, not verbally and not physically but she didn't regret it.

Nodding to herself, she steps into the long hall. The light turns on automatically, uncovering her identity. She wasn't planning on hiding, heading straight to his cell with a lump inside her throat.

"Sir?" She says softly as she arrives, finding him laying on his back in his cell. He doesn't seem hurt physically, his handsome face untouched.

His eyes flicker to her, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion. For a moment, Saul wasn't sure if she was real after such a long time of solitude. They threw him in a cell and lost the key from what he could tell. Not that he complained, it's better than being on the sharp edge of a blade.

"Sir?" She repeats, a little firmer than before.

A breathless chuckle escapes him in disbelief as he sits up, leaning with his elbows on his knees. "Isn't Sir too formal for us?"

Swallowing thickly, Y/N straightens her back, "You're the general, I'm a soldier. It would be improper not to address you formally."

Shaking his head, Saul stands up. He folds his hands behind his back, "I'm no longer the general." Stepping closer, Y/N can see he's frowning, displeased with her. "Why are you here, Y/N."

Releasing a shuddered breath with the sound of her name rolling off his tongue, Y/N felt her insides twisting at the thought of what it took for him to call her by her name.

"I'm the guard on duty."

Narrowing his eyes at her ever so slightly, he cocks his head to the right, "What did it cost you to be here?" Raising an eyebrow, he takes one step closer to the bars. "You can't expect me not ask what a newbie would be doing as a guard in a maximum security prison."

Rolling her eyes, she clicks her tongue. "I'm not a newbie. With all due respect, I'm not a kid."

"That's true. You're not a kid, but you're young and you're naive. This isn't a place where you'll do well." Finally approaching the bars, Saul licks his lips, "You should leave and not look back."

Chuckling dryly, Y/N runs her fingers through her hair, "I can't."

"Why", Saul's frown deepens, his eyes locking on her pursed lips.

"You know why", she whispers, afraid if she spoke plainly her voice would crack and he'd see how deeply his imprisonment had affected her.

"Maybe I want to hear you say it." Saul's hands grip the metal bars, daring her to make the next move.

Sighing, her stance relaxes as she inches toward the bars as well. "Do you enjoy torturing me? Is that it?"

Licking his lips that slowly break into a smile, Silva shakes his head. "No. It gives me no pleasure at all. I need to hear you say it. Once again." He reaches for her hands through the bars, his fingers brushing her skin just barely.

"Please", she pleads with eyes glistening from unshed tears, "Please don't ask me to say it when you don't plan on saying it back."

"Y/N", Saul whispers, his heart aching with the sigh of her breaking in front of him. "I wouldn't ask otherwise."

As she steps closer, his fingers grasp her hands - they're not as soft as a fairy's would be and yet he loves the touch.

Staring into his eyes, she could hardly muster the strength to speak. He had ravaged her emotionally, claimed each and every inch if her soul and finally, she felt brave for the first time since she lost him.

"I love you", she repeats the words she had uttered to him only once before and it wasn't easy to say it again.

His lips form a smile wider than ever before, pulling her closer to him. "And I love you. I'm sorry I didn't tell you that day." Bringing her hand up to his lips, he presses a kiss to her palm, "I was dazed by your bravery, but I was going to say it back. I was." Sighing, Silva cups her cheek, tenderly brushing her bottom lip with his thumb. "I've had plenty of time to regret not saying it right then and there. So, I love you Y/N Y/L/N. I really do."

A tear slips past her defenses as she chokes back a sob. "I'll get you out of here. I promise."

"Don't", Saul whisper shouts, "You will leave and stay gone because being so close to me will get you killed."

"I'd rather die doing something then watch you die by their hands."

Closing his eyes, he nods, "You're too stubborn for your own good."

She smiles, "You taught me that."

"I wish I could kiss you", he admits and she frowns.

"Me too, but I have to leave. I've stayed by your cell way too long for them to not notice. I can't make them suspicious."

Stepping back, reluctantly letting go of her, Saul feels his heart sink with the distance. "Tell Sky I love him and not to do anything stupid."

Snorting, she wipes away the stray tear, "I'll keep him safe."

As she takes a few steps back into the hallway, she hears his voice once more.

"Keep yourself safe, love. For both our sakes."

[seerofmike]

31 Days of Apex: Day 8 (Healing)

pairing: (non-romantic) Lifeline & Wraith

tags: insomnia, tea

word count: 1.4k

fic summary: Ajay can’t heal everything, but she can try.

ao3 link

OR

read below

Ajay liked sleeping. She wasn’t no Silva, who stayed up for days on end doing whatever he pleased before he passed out unceremoniously in a corner, nor was she Crypto, who stayed up for reasons. Paranoia, probably, but she wouldn’t pretend to know him.

No, she liked sleeping. Had cute pajamas, a sleeping mask, comfy pillows. Everything one needed to get a full night’s rest, because she deserved it, with the stuff she put up with. But sometimes, all of the fluffiest pillows and comforters in the world couldn’t put you to sleep—she'd been lying awake for three hours, so she got up for a quick remedy. Nothing special, just lavender tea with milk and honey, like her mama used to make.

She didn’t like to think about her parents, but it was about two in the morning, so she couldn’t help it. The blockades she put up in her mind to temporarily deal with it were down, and she was thinking of the way her mama used to run her hand through her hair when she couldn’t sleep, the sensations lulling her eyes closed. She was so deep in thought that she passed right by Wraith, sitting at the counter silently, and she only noticed her when she had opened up the cabinet to take out the honey.

“Well, good mornin’,” Ajay said, not very surprised as she put a pot of water on the stove. Wraith’s mouth thinned into a line as she glanced up, not saying anything. That was fair—she wasn’t very talkative in the first place, and they weren’t exactly friends. Good colleagues, enough to respect each other in the Games, but not enough to sit around and gossip like school girls. That was what Silva and Witt were for.

Status of relationship aside, though, Ajay was nothing if not polite, so when she opened up another cabinet she threw a glance back at Wraith and asked, “Tea?”

There was a pause, and Ajay wasn’t sure if she had heard her or not, with how long it went on. Finally though, the woman's pale eyes drifted up to meet hers, and she said, “Please.”

Ajay nodded, humming quietly to herself as she took out two glasses. This place didn’t have any actual teacups, which was fine, but she did miss them. Hadn’t had a set since she left home. She crossed the kitchen to the fridge, taking out some almond milk that wasn’t hers, but she knew Makoa wouldn’t mind. She paused, before turning to look at the older woman still sitting at the counter. 

“Milk and honey okay?”

“However you make it is fine,” Wraith said, flipping her kunai lightly between her fingers, but in a much more careful manner than Silva did. It was almost absentminded.

She set the milk and honey on top of the counter, and didn’t have anything else to do to procrastinate, so she sighed to herself and sat next to Wraith, smiling at her tiredly. It had been a long day, for a lotta reasons—Games, injuries, the ever-nagging question of is this right? playing in the back of her mind like a broken record. She had experience in tuning things (or certain people) out, so she was usually able to ignore it, but today, it nagged and it nagged and nagged, and she couldn’t sleep because of it, so here she was.

She felt like she didn’t really need to ask Wraith why she was awake, assuming she already knew the answer, and the woman wouldn’t be willing to tell her anyway—but, despite not wanting to admit it, she did have a few things in common with Silva, and that was a hatred for sitting in silence too long. So she asked, “Can’t sleep?”

“I never can,” came Wraith’s reply, deadpan. She then turned her head a little, but her eyes were fixed on a point in the distance. “...But you know that.”

Ajay threw her hands up, admitting, “Just makin’ small talk, ghost.”

Wraith stared at her then, brows pinched. She always looked so serious, and Ajay wouldn’t be surprised if there was soon a wrinkle in her forehead from how often her face looked like that.

“Your water’s boiling,” Wraith suddenly said, and Ajay got back to her feet to take the pot off the stove. She added the tea leaves, and though she usually liked her tea strong, decided she wouldn’t brew it as long, since she didn’t know Wraith’s preferences.

As she waited, something nagged at her—the need to help. She didn’t know everything wrong with Wraith—who did? Girl didn’t open up to anybody, but she had some guesses. Some ideas of what might help, of what she could do to make things a little bit better for the other woman, but she didn’t want to overstep any boundaries, and Wraith had many.

She watched her out of the corner of her eye, taking in her appearance—the shadows beneath her milky blue eyes, the gauntness in her cheeks, the way her head was starting to tilt listlessly, like she found it a chore to even hold it up. Ajay couldn’t help it. She blurted out,

“You know, meditatin’ used to help me back in high school. Could never sleep back then. Too many tests to get into med school, but meditation helped.”

Wraith didn’t say anything, but she did look at her, to show she was listening. Ajay kept talking as she started to strain the tea, hands moving easily through the motions, having done it hundreds of times before. She gave both glasses an equal amount of tea before taking the cap off the milk, giving herself a good amount, and Wraith slightly less, in case she didn’t like hers too sweet.

Pour the milk gently, Ajay, her mama’s voice guided her gently. Don’t make a mess.

She closed her eyes, pausing in her speech. She didn’t want to think about her mother, fought back the memories with her tired, two A.M. will, before putting the milk back in the fridge and uncapping the honey. She wasn’t even sure if Wraith was listening to all of her sleeping tips, but she was helping. She was trying.

Ajay carried both glasses over, careful, because they were hot and heated beneath her fingertips, and set them gently on the counter. She slid back into the seat next to Wraith, going silent, having run out of things to say. She wasn’t even sure if the other woman was listening to her at this point, so she blew quietly on her tea before taking a sip.

Finally, Wraith lifted her own tea to her lips, took a sip, and then said, “I appreciate it. But you can’t heal what I have.”

Ajay almost took it personally, this particular comment—a jab at her role as a healer, a jab at the way she was trying to help, but she told herself that Wraith didn’t mean it maliciously. She wasn’t like that. Just blunt. So she decided to be blunt, too.

“I know that. But I can try,” Ajay said, and took another sip from her tea. She had forgotten to blow this time, and scalded her tongue in the process, but she acted like it was fine. “Better to offer somethin’ than nothin���.”

“That’s very altruistic of you,” Wraith said, and unlike when others had said the same thing of her, Ajay felt like she was being genuine. Her help had often gotten called ‘nagging’, and she understood why—but she did genuinely just want to help. It gave her purpose. It helped lift the guilt off of her shoulders, and it helped build the blockade in her mind.

She couldn’t heal what was weighing down on Wraith, but she could extend a hand. A lifeline.

They drank in silence some more, and when Ajay was halfway done with her tea, Wraith drained the dregs of her own before sliding off of her seat and putting the glass in the sink. She filled the glass up with water so it wouldn’t stain, but didn’t put it in the dishwasher like she was supposed to. 

“Dishwasher’s done,” Wraith said, as if reading her mind. “And it’s not my turn to put the dishes up. It’s Pathfinder’s.”

“I didn’t say anything, ghost.”

“I know.” Wraith stalked past her, and Ajay thought that that was the last of their conversation for the night, but the older woman suddenly paused in the doorway, shoulders hunched. After a while, she said quietly, “Thanks. For trying.”

Blinking in surprise, Ajay said, “You’re welcome.”

“And I like my tea sweet.” She took another step out the door. “For future reference.”

Ajay blinked, and in a flash of blue light, Wraith was gone.

[torentialtribute]

Pochettino strikes a fortunate early blow on rival Guardiola as Spurs hold firm at Manchester City

Listening to both managers 24 hours after this, there is almost a shame in their undeniable rivalry. Mauricio Pochettino wants the conversation to be about Tottenham and Manchester City not himself and Pep Guardiola .

That's all good and good – Guardiola offered similar sentiment – but both always seem to say just enough to stay alive. They can't help themselves. Respect is resentment, for sure.

Their press conferences have become an entertaining spectator sport, the joking boxing analogy of Pochettino – let's get in the ring to beat it out – and a rule about Anthony Joshua testament to that. It wasn't that light when they spent the last few minutes stopping to discuss the VAR decision that ultimately changed the course of the competition. Just like it did that night last April.

Manchester City boss Pep Guardiola (right) greets Mauricio Pochettino for the match [194590012]

Football had been tiring beforehand. Tottenham is one of the few, possibly only in a group including Liverpool, who can lay a glove on the Premier League champions. Pochettino is the only manager who has defeated Guardiola since the beginning of February, a series of 25 games. His team is in the Etihad, allowing them to work the body, waiting for opportunities to counter in pace when their guard was down.

They force Guardiola to think sometimes and that could have made him on Saturday the result did not go away City, Ilkay Gundogan about David Silva of specific interest. Gabriel Jesus wanted to keep his place all week, only for Sergio Aguero to get the nod late.

City eventually fell short in a late search for a winner. Tottenham was great again during the break and found ways to hurt them. Stooping and diving, making sure they stopped. Much of this is due to the man who leads them. Not only his tactical nous, but also a galvanizing personality who actively takes on the untouchables.

EX-Espanyol manager Pochettino and Barcelona legend Guardiola probably never come up

The tensions between them have been simmered for some time, dating back to their period as opponents in Spain, and which are partly due to contempt in breeding. Pochettino has not confronted anyone more than his 18 encounters with Guardiola. Only Jose Mourinho has sat opposite Guardiola than the boss of Tottenham.

In that sense there is more opportunity for both of them to excite each other before and after competitions, more chance of persistent trivial rhetoric to build in something more serious. Just look at the Harry Kane team's comments for reference.

Pochettino believes that his refusal to select Lionel Messi, while Espanyol manager should have dictated more respect here in England. In his opinion, this has never been discussed and, as such, Guardiola & # 39; s eulogization of this Tottenham team and his manager has largely fallen on deaf ears. Pochettino suspects that all praise is on the other side of the faux spectrum. Whether that is true or not, only Guardiola knows.

Guardiola and Pochettino enjoyed a passionate discussion about the sidelines in a dramatic final

Guardiola, for his part, can do nothing else but continue to talk Tottenham the only way he knows how. It is exaggerated, it can be exaggerated, but everyone who has ever spent time in the Catalan company knows his repertoire. He publicly allows all this to wash over him, but privately the city manager is stunned by Pochettino's stomach pain. "Even if he doesn't believe me, he's just the top, top, top, top manager," Guardiola said.

Pochettino gets along well with a number of Guardiola employees and has some of those friends. Assistant Mikel Arteta, fitness coach Lorenzo Buenaventura and the doctor, Eduardo Mauri, are close to him

It's not quite the same with the manager. They are very different people, so the couple absorbs all the more. The City manager pushes the boundaries of the technical field and comes that white line almost closer to the field. Give the fourth official Paul Tierney an ear bashen after the inconsistency of Michael Oliver, that kind of animation. The rather aggressive spit that he endured with Aguero when connecting the club's biggest scorer ever.

Gabriel Jesus thought that he had won for City after being in a third goal in stop-time

However, just like in the quarterfinals of the Champions League, VAR closed a late City-goa l from

Pochettino is now watching and whispers assistant Jesu s Perez. He talks inside. The Argentinian sat motionless in front of both equalizers – even given the dramatic character of Lucas Moura & # 39; s, he scored only 19 seconds after he got off the bench. Only later did he issue powerful instructions.

A former manager of Espanyol and a legend from Barcelona will probably never agree, especially if the first one is so close to Mourinho. Guardiola is seen as the man who has always enjoyed it, something that his friends' rival has regretted. Financing is an important point of contention.

That is why the quarter final of the Champions League for Spurs felt more than digging. Pochettino has instructed his players to run ahead immediately after conceding against this city team; it happened during that second leg and happened here again on Saturday.

They can get the Guardiola juggernaut cold and cause damage. They hit early this season, but luckily.

Now Tottenham has to support it.

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[ghosttownaz]

Review: Royce Da 5'9 drops his masterpiece with "Book of Ryan"

by FAME IS MIKE

Royce is perenially the most underrated emcee in HipHop, and may be the most underrated emcee that's ever touched a microphone. Strong words? Yes.  But, after having run through this project multiple times, front to back I've never felt stronger about that statement. Royce is every bit the emcee Eminem is, and resides in the tier of the greats. I've enjoyed his work for years and as a fan of any music that isn't mainstream, I was elated to see the attention this new project of his was getting. The interviews, the cyphers, the guest spots on podcasts... all of it leading to a healthy anticipation that this would be a fantastic project. Royce did what he always does - he stood head and shoulders above his "peers."Introspection and wordplay fill The Book of Ryan from cover to cover. This is Royce at his best. He was open, honest, clever and confident. What more could you ask for? If you said to yourself "some good guest appearances" well... have no fear. The few times a guest pops up for a verse, they too make the most of it. "Summer On Lock" is a great outing that feels as though it was a warning shot of sorts, reminding fellow emcees that Pusha T & Jadakiss are legends in their own right. The track "Dumb" is another standout.

If Royce was shooting for a west coast vibe similar to that of "Big Ego's" off of Dr Dre's classic 2001, he absolutely succeeded. The flows on this track are unrelenting, and amidst pop culture's incessant worshipping of mumble rap, it's a welcome reminder that hip hop at its base is an intelligent art form that we as a culture are missing gravely. "Cocaine" is one of the most personal songs on the Book of Ryan, as it details his father's struggles with addiction before Royce reminds himself it could've been worse because afterall, he did still have a father. "Power" however is the track that stands above the rest. The culmination of manhood, talent, wisdom and familial bonds leave the listener wanting more even after its near-7 minutes have come to a close.

Though this project is my favorite hiphop album this year, it does not mean it is perfect. The biggest issue I have with any track on Book of Ryan is with "Caterpillar" feat. King Green & Eminem. While Royce showcased bravado and used the metaphor of a caterpillar becoming a butterfly, he also made it a point to have a cohesive message and tone throughout. Eminem, while techincally profiecient as ever, comes across as unnecessarily angry. The vibe of the song is thrown for a loop almost immediately when Em decided stopping the beat to reference Anderson Silva's gruesome leg injury was a good call. It wasn't. Not to say his verse wasn't enjoyable - because it was - it just wasn't as cohesive with the rest of the song as I would have liked. However, all the criticism of Em's verse be damned, it is far superior to the verse Logic gave to Royce for the remix of "Caterpillar." Logic recycles talking points of songs past, and literally speaks instead of rhyming for about half of his verse. I can definitely see why that one was left off the official song. We also can't bring up guest features without mentioning the superb story telling and flows that J. Cole displays on the lead single "Boblo Boat." He and Royce,while not necessarily similar as emcees themselves, bridge the gap between age and generation to tell a meaningful tale of how they'd pass time with their respective families.

The Book of Ryan made me clamor for Royce to continue making music for years to come. While still staying in touch with his roots in storytelling and wordplay, Royce expanded his boundaries and covered everything from his family growing up to the issues with substance abuse he's now moved past.  The heart that he put on display track after track provided us a glimpse into the inner workings of one of the greats, of a genius pushing himself to leave his comfort zone. This is the part of hiphop that has been overlooked for too long by the mainstream. Less "Xanarchy" and more "Book of Ryan."

Lyrics: 4.5/5  Production: 4/5  Topics: 5/5  Beats: 4/5  Originality: 5/5    

Overall: 4.5/5

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO “BOOK OF RYAN”

[sarahburness]

7 Amazing Things That Happen When You Start Loving Yourself More

“When I loved myself enough, I began leaving whatever wasn’t healthy. This meant people, jobs, my own beliefs and habits – anything that kept me small. My judgement called it disloyal. Now I see it as self-loving,” ~Kim McMillen

I started learning about self-love a long time ago.

In fact, I started learning about self-love so long ago that when, fifteen years later, a shaman in Peru I told me that self-love was the answer to all my questions, I got really pissed off!

I had struggled with depression as a teenager. For about two years, I lived a very sad life. I don’t even remember much to be honest. I felt the pain of existence. I avoided people. Every day felt like yet another obstacle to overcome. I existed rather than lived. Eventually, I overcame it and discovered some tools that I still use to help me with any low moments l might have today. One of them was the practice of self-love.

I found a few helpful books on meditation, the Silva Method, visualization, and the famous book You Can Heal Your Life, by Louise Hay.

I wrote affirmations daily. I kept doing my mirror work. I started to be more appreciative and kinder to myself. I meditated regularly and gradually rebuilt myself. I thought I had nailed self-love. I thought I had really understood what self-love was.

I was wrong.

I was in my early thirties—single and not entirely thrilled about it. Not fulfilled in my corporate career. Living in a converted garage in London and wondering what to change in my life to feel happier.

When my friend asked me whether I would be up for travelling to Peru, I didn’t think twice.

It felt like the right adventure at the right time.

We had a magical time for three weeks. We visited many ancient places, took part in spiritual ceremonies, met and worked with shamans, and visited some old communities living a modest life in the middle of the Andes. We experienced everything that Peru had to offer.

One day, my friend and I decided to go for a coca leaf reading. It was mainly out of curiosity but as with previous past readings, I wanted to be reassured that my life was going to change and that I would soon be in a better place.

Now I know better than to turn to a psychic to ease my anxiety. Once during a reading a psychic told me that there are a few future possibilities for us, based on our choices. So, I started to trust my choices more and become comfortable with uncertainty, as there is always a solution to our problems. I also trust that whatever I experience I’m having is for my highest good and the exact lesson I now need.

Back to my story: So, we went to a back room of a very run down massage place that we’d come across a few days earlier.

The shaman came and set himself up. He couldn’t speak English and had a Dutch translator.

My friend went first and asked her questions and got guidance.

When it was my turn, I started to ask the usual questions: When will I meet the love of my life? When will I find a better job? What job would it be? When will I find a better flat? When will I start earning more money?

After I asked the first question, the shaman stirred the leaves in his palms and threw them up. When they fell, he looked at them and said to me, “When you start loving yourself.”

Fair enough, I thought to myself, and asked another question.

The shaman threw the leaves again, contemplated a little, and gave me the same answer, “When you start loving yourself more.”

I thought “okay” and agreed silently with him. I still felt I could love myself more.

I asked another question and got the same answer. And another question and got the same answer.

Doubts began to appear and I started to feel a bit uneasy.

I felt like we were a bit naive going to a shaman we didn’t know and that nobody had recommended him to us.

When I heard the same answer for the fifth time, I lost it.

I snapped at the translator, accusing the shaman of being fake and not knowing what he was doing.

The translator started to calm me down and tried to convince me that the shaman was very popular and he knew his stuff. Apparently, many people kept coming back to him because of his accurate readings.

Somehow it was hard to believe.

We completed the reading and left.

My friend tried to help me make sense of this experience but I completely dismissed it.

I was furious. Not even about the reading but the realization that I thought I had done so much work around self-love and was convinced I knew how to love and respect myself. But here a stranger was pointing out to me that there was yet more work to be done.

I remember asking my friend angrily, “How much work on self-love do I need to do to actually start loving myself? Is fifteen years not enough?”

I felt helpless and discouraged.

It felt like all the work I had done on myself up until that moment in Peru had meant nothing.

I was frustrated because I assumed that after all the inner work I had done, I should have known better. I should have attracted higher quality men. I should have had a better job. I should have earned more money. I should have been happier.

My life had a few more lessons for me before I actually got what self-love really meant.

A few years later, I was even more frustrated in the new job—and still single after dozens of failed dates with men who didn’t even remotely fit the description of my dream man. Not much happier, I had a moment of realization when I was drying my hair.

It just hit me out of nowhere. I felt in my whole body what it was to love myself. I felt flooded with self-appreciation for no reason. I was overcome by kindness and compassion for myself.

In that moment, I saw how unloving I was toward myself. I realized that through my entire life I had been betraying and abandoning myself.

I completely understood what the shaman in Peru really meant!

Until I truly loved and honored myself, I wouldn’t get a better job, find a loving man, or feel happier.

I wouldn’t because I didn’t love myself enough to feel worthy of it all.

It took me a while to integrate my insights and realize how the love I had (or lack of it!) for myself was directly responsible for my unfulfilling love life, draining career, and overall unhappiness with life.

A few years later, I now have my own definition of self-love.

I believed for a long time that self-love was merely a feeling toward myself.

Now I know better. It is way more than just a feeling.

For me, self-love is a practice. It is a practice of choosing myself, putting myself first when I can, making myself important, and being kind and compassionate with myself. Also, self-love is about choosing things/people/situations that are good for me, feel right, and serve me.

Self-love is an on-going conscious choice!

When I started to practice consciously choosing myself over others, over damaging situations, over unfulfilling friendships and relationships, things changed dramatically.

To illustrate why you need to practice self-love, here are a few examples from my own life.

1. You will start to feel more in charge of your life.

I realized that I had always a choice. I could make poor choices out of fear, guilt, and shame or empowered choices that were aligned with who I was and what felt authentic to me. So, I stopped trying to please people, accommodating men unworthy of my attention, and doing things that didn’t bring me pleasure or satisfaction.

When you start loving yourself more, you too will realize your wants and needs are important, and you have the choice to honor them.

2. You will set stronger boundaries around dating and love.

As a result of honoring my needs, I started to feel more confident and assertive. I became more purposeful with dating. I stopped wasting time on the wrong guys and started making more empowered romantic choices. The final outcome: I found the love of my life after struggling in the love department for years.

When you strengthen your boundaries from a place of self-love, you too will feel more empowered and you’ll stop repeatedly choosing partners who aren’t good for you.

3. You will stop seeking approval.

This was the most liberating thing. As I loved and respected myself more, I stopped worrying about how much others liked or approved of me. I stopped doing things to be liked. This created more space for being more authentic and less defensive, for being more myself.

When you have your own approval and acceptance, you start caring less about other people’s opinion of you and living a life that is aligned with your own values.

 4. You will start to make more courageous and conscious decisions.

I gave up my draining corporate job out of respect to myself.

I moved out of London after fifteen years to have a slower and more peaceful lifestyle.

I fell in love again. (This takes lots of courage if you have been hurt over and over again!)

I got pregnant and had a natural birth. I had no clue how this happened, as I formerly had broadcasted everywhere that if I ever got pregnant, I would be the first to ask for an epidural. But I listened to my body and having an epidural didn’t feel right.

I became a mama to my son. This is probably the bravest thing I have ever done in my life, since I love my freedom so much. But the love for my son helps me forget how important my freedom was to me before.

Self-love will give you the courage to get rid of things that don’t serve you and make space for things that will help you grow. When you truly value yourself, you make decisions that honor you rather than harm you.

5. You will start to enjoy being with yourself.

I stopped filling my days with meetings, dates, and outings, as I did in the past just so I wouldn’t feel alone. I stopped running away from myself into the arms of unsuitable men. I stopped meeting friends just to have some company.

Instead, I started to do more things I loved doing: swimming, yoga, writing, watching movies, meditating. When I reconnected with myself deeply, spending time in my own company didn’t feel scary anymore. I stopped being afraid of being alone.

You too will find that when you become more loving toward yourself, you will start being more comfortable being in your own lovely company.

6. You will develop a stronger relationship with yourself.

As I spent more time with myself I deepened the connection I had with myself. I stopped being desperate for a romantic relationship because I started to have more fun on my own. I became my own friend. I started to feel more secure as a person as I tapped into my true inner being. I started to believe in myself more. I started to trust myself more.

When you deepen your connection with yourself through self-love, you’ll connect on a deeper level with others too. As your relationship with yourself improves, your others get stronger as well.

7. You will stop seeking happiness in relationships.

Loving myself helped me realize that I didn’t need a man to be happy. All the love I needed to be happy was within me already. I took more responsibility for my personal happiness and stopped giving my power away to men.

I understood that happiness was constantly present in my life. It wasn’t somewhere in the future. I just needed to change my focus and learn to appreciate what I had rather than dwelling on what I didn’t have.

When you start to love yourself more and feel happier, you too will likely feel less desperate for a romantic relationship. You’ll realize you don’t need a partner to be happy. You just need to be happy and the right person will show up in time.

—

So how do you start loving yourself more? Start choosing yourself daily and doing what feels right for you.

Introduce a daily practice of checking in with yourself every time you need to make a decision or a choice.

First you ask yourself: What would feel loving in this situation?

Once you have the answer, ask yourself these thee powerful questions:

Does it feel good/right for me?

Will it serve me?

Will it make me feel energized?

These questions will help you honor yourself and your needs and stay true and loving to yourself.

There is much more I want to say on this subject, but I will leave it for another article.

Let me just say this: Self-love will transform your life—so start practicing!

About Aska Kolton

Aska Kolton works with successful single ladies who are tired with dating. She helps them learn how to love themselves more so they start making better romantic choices and finally get ready to attract the quality man they deserve. Get ready for love with Aska’s 8 Step Dating Detox Guide and join her Facebook Group.

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The post 7 Amazing Things That Happen When You Start Loving Yourself More appeared first on Tiny Buddha.

from Tiny Buddha https://tinybuddha.com/blog/7-amazing-things-that-happen-when-you-start-loving-yourself-more/

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Watch Live Soccer Online To Optimize Entertainment

The NFL's Super Bowl tops Forbes' list for the world's most useful sporting event brands, worth $379 million in two thousand and seven. Following the Super Bowlbecome the Summer Olympics at $176 million and soccer's World Cup at $103 million . Rounding out the top ten will be the Daytona 500, Rose Bowl, NCAAMen's Final Four, Winter Olympics Games, Kentucky Derby, World Series and NBA Finals respectively. How come the Super Bowl so valuable? Thirty secondsof air time sold for $3 million, up slightly from last year's $2.97 million, according to Kantar Promoting. Most other nights of the year, a 30-second prime-timecommercial runs between $100,000 and $500,000. Marketers are attracted to the Super Bowl audience considering that it is huge and viewers are attendingto.

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[torentialtribute]

City are changing the landscape like Australia’s great Test side

If, as expected, his team wins a second league title on Sunday, Pep Guardiola may have just beat his record shocks as a Manchester City manager for a year ago. Why? He doesn't even have the best team now.

Liverpool may be able to darken it, against each other. Liverpool has superior backrests, the excellent central defender of the season in Virgil van Dijk and two attackers with 42 goals in between.

The clearest strength of the city is their midfielders, as befits a manager who once said he would choose eleven if he could.

<img id = "i-28792365b493d9c4" src = "https://dailym.ai/2HbeFoL image-a-25_1557429274138.jpg "height =" 421 "width =" 634 "alt =" <img id = "i-28792365b493d9c4" src = "https://dailym.ai/2J2OwKp /09/20/13308466-7012001-image-a-25_1557429274138.jpg "height =" 421 "width =" 634 "alt =" If Manchester City closes the title on Sunday, it will be a greater success than winning last year Manchester City seals the title on Sunday, it will be a bigger success than winning it last year "

If Manchester City closes the title on Sunday, it will

But even there, for the way Jurgen Klopp wants to play, his midfield is tailor-made.

Guardiola has Fernandinho, David Silva and Vincent Kompany approaching their mid thirties, he has complications at full back where his options seem worse and worse than those from Liverpool, she has Klopp n team where he wants them now.

Yes, any team, no matter how coherently planned, can always improve, but the two legs against Barcelona revealed a group at Liverpool who absolutely understands, believes in and can bear the strategy of their manager. It is not surprising that it is a city that is about to take a very early entry into the summer market with a move for Rodri of Atletico Madrid.

<img id = "i-6a8eea7c47c9aef2" src = "https://dailym.ai/2YcGjrk image-a-33_1557429623606.jpg "height =" 415 "width =" 634 "alt =" <img id = "i-6a8eea7c47c9aef2" src = "https://dailym.ai/2J2OwKp /09/20/13307678-7012001-image-a-33_1557429623606.jpg "height =" 415 "width =" 634 "alt =" Liverpool puts the combined XI in the shadow with the greatest strength of Manchester City in midfield "

Yet this is more powerful in midfield areas.

Yet this is the shadow of Liverpool's combined XI with the greatest power of Manchester City in midfield

Guardiola was right to compare his players to athletes who change the game, such as Tiger Woods and Usain Bolt, he could have thrown in the Serena Williams or the Australian cricket team of the Michael Slater was a good measure.

They have changed the numbers, adjusted success in their field. Results that were once considered solid or even impressive in a Premier League campaign are now potential shortcomings.

Watching city settling for nothing less than three points at Old Trafford is like seeing Slater send the first soft ball of the day in a test that matches the boundary.

Once he did that, and he did it regularly, the numbers in Cricket Test were never the same. The rest of the world had to score as Australia or fall behind.

We credit Twenty20 and the short-form game for the offensive test that we now see, but Australia started the trend up to ten years before that version of cricket was even invented

Until last year, A scoreless draw away at Old Trafford, Stamford Bridge or Anfield was considered a good piece of work. No longer.

<img id = "i-af294ad351a13d0c" src = "https://dailym.ai/2HdzH6w image-a-34_1557430039124.jpg "height =" 401 "width =" 634 "alt =" <img id = "i-af294ad351a13d0c" src = "https://dailym.ai/2J2OwKp /09/20/13308954-7012001-image-a-34_1557430039124.jpg "height =" 401 "width =" 634 "alt =" City changes the sports landscape like Michael Slater and the Australian test cricket team Michael Slater and the Australian test cricket team

City Slickers and Slickers, If Liverpool had won the victory in February in Manchester United, the city would do so now, they would now be a front runner are in the competition.

There is never a game where a title is decided. If Liverpool fails this season, there are eight games that were drawn or lost, one of which could have made the difference. It is clear that City's defeat in January and the draw on Anfield are the biggest.

That's what City has done: their own campaign is only ruthlessly consistent that one mistake in every game, no matter how small, can be crucial.

Who could have imagined Liverpool escaping the lead by eight minutes in November to join Arsenal, could it be so important?

Fast forward to now, and the Alexandre Lacazette equalizer is what put Liverpool in second place.

Guardiola has changed the concept of winning in the English game.

Benjamin Mendy has hardly played this season, Kevin De Bruyne has not played any games recently. was fit to start only 11 Premier League games and the loss of Fernandinho for more than a month at the end of February and after that for the title run should have been more significant.

<img id = "i-f40e5665137f9e02" src = "https://dailym.ai/2YhfaU3 -7012001-image-m-38_1557430058237.jpg "height =" 452 "width =" 306 "alt =" <img id = "i-f40e5665137f9e02" src = "https://dailym.ai/2CYdfvj 2019/05/09/20 / 13308890-7012001-image-m-38_1557430058237.jpg "height =" 452 "width =" 306 "alt =" Kevin De Bruyne benefited from injuries

<img id = "i -f40e5665137f9e02 "src =" https://dailym.ai/2Hb39Kf "height =" 452 "width =" 306 " alt = "Kevin De Bruyne has benefited from injury this season, but the city has had to deal with it"

<img id = "i-421342be6763ef93" src = "https://dailym.ai/2YhfbY7" height = "452" width = "306" alt = " Fernandinho, vital to town, is another Guardiola has had this season without mud manage "

<img id =" i-421342be6763ef93 "src =" https://dailym.ai/2H8THXE -39_1557430063510.jpg "height =" 452 "width =" 306 "alt =" Fernandinho, vital for City, is another that Guardiola had to manage without spells this season "class =

Yes, city has power in depth.

Yes, cities have power in depth. Yet they have no midfield creator in De Bruyne's class; no one who can freely repeat the role of Fernandinho.

Yet without them, he has done so far at the most pressurized stage of the season and maintained what is now a 13-game

There are numerous clubs that have a head start have on their rivals in terms of resources, team depth, investments – Manchester United

11 records were broken when City won the competition last season and more and more were tumbling, whatever Sunday games are there

City is already the first team since Preston in 1888-89 and 1889-90 defeated all their league opponents in successive seasons. But for Preston this meant that you defeated 11 clubs twice – for City, 19 – and Preston didn't have to deal with some of the little things that would sometimes frustrate City, such as crossbars

Nothing has been won yet , of course. If what we've seen this week is an indication, something can happen in Brighton and probably also. But even if the season includes one final turn and City is denied the title, their influence on our game remains undeniable.

The only reason why a second club is chasing the number of points in the high 90s is because the City has demanded that is the norm required to win the competition.

It won't always be – it can't be – but the levels at the top of the Premier League are better than ever – and result in

We couldn't find this information. don't hear so much from Mario Balotelli this week on the subject of & # 39; the world's greatest soccer players.

Earlier, after the Lionel Messi show during Barcelona & 3-0 victory over Liverpool, Balotelli wanted to participate in the long-running and meaningless debate on individual supremacy.

& # 39; For the love of

But many did – and negative. [Bewerken] [voeg lijst toe] Not Messi at Juventus No. 7 anymore, & I posted on Instagram.

It is a fight as the Portuguese Euro 2016 victory over Messi and its not a big tournament win with Argentina.

<img id = "i-caba5764c55a599a" src = "https://dailym.ai/2Yon12p Lionel_Messi_and_Barcelona_s_calamity_at_Anfield_on_Tuesday_shou-a-1_1557430847155.jpg "height =" 516 "width =" 634 "alt =" <img id = "i-caba5764c55a599a" src = "https://dailym.ai/2GW1CHV /09/20/13307816-7012001-Lionel_Messi_and_Barcelona_s_calamity_at_Anfield_on_Tuesday_shou-a-1_1557430847155.jpg "height =" 516 "width =" 634 "alt =" Lionel Messi and the calamity of Barcelona in Anfield on Tuesday should not be at the expense of " Anfield on Tuesday should not be at the expense of his genius "

Lionel Messi and Barcelona's misfortune in Anfield on Tuesday should not be at the expense of his genius

Both men are great football players. That they are also different in style and personality should increase our appreciation, not let us choose sides.

John Peel once said that naming the favorite album or group is like selecting the favorite limb. So it's with Messi and Ronaldo. Why choose?

The disaster that came over Messi and his team in Anfield on Tuesday must not be at the expense of his genius. It was a single game, a single performance, and it still took all Liverpool's power to control him.

Messi remained by far the best player in Barcelona, ​​even in defeat. It is therefore best to keep him from blame and hope that it could unfold a little respect for the much-maligned & # 39; No 7 or Juventus & # 39; from Balotelli and his fellow travelers.

Messi, for all his talent, could not drag a faded Barcelona team to European success, but that is exactly what Ronaldo did for three years, just before he left Madrid. View them now. A little appreciation is certainly necessary?

It was a privilege to witness the achievements of two extraordinary talents, but why should I not leave it there? We might as well decide that there should be a preference for the Liverpool or Tottenham comeback this week. Can't we enjoy both? Football is meant to be fun, not Sophie's Choice.

<img id = "i-2081bafbce6974db" src = "https://dailym.ai/2YqsEgz image-a-24_1557428966685.jpg "height =" 423 "width =" 634 "alt =" <img id = "i-2081bafbce6974db" src = "https://dailym.ai/2J2OwKp /09/20/13308240-7012001-image-a-24_1557428966685.jpg "height =" 423 "width =" 634 "alt =" Football fans should look forward to both Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo instead of taking sides and Cristiano Ronaldo instead of

[Voetbalfans zouden zowel Messi als Cristiano Ronaldo moeten plezieren] In addition to the £ 4 million they spent in vain on their anchor tenant, West Ham, the London Legacy Development Corporation has also £ 100,000 transferred for acquiring a communication strategy – presumably advising how you can avoid being nailed to unnecessary legal disputes

This would not be bad if the LLDC had no communication team that annually Earned £ 260,000. Perhaps there are some stories beyond the wisdom of even the most inventive spider doctor.

A company that makes losses of £ 22.7 million – while in a legal fight with their most consistent and lucrative source of income – probably fits into that category. Indeed, the new Tottenham stadium has now started for top assessments, how long can the LLDC leaders and their various weapons for stadium management survive?

Every month, news about a different sport, a different potential income stream, abandons the stadium

Meanwhile, many years of maladministration have recently been sold at Tottenham and have been chosen as the location for the European club final of rugby in 2021.

what should have been an iconic location in East London in the bad relationship. It will cost much more than £ 100,000 to buffer the talents of the geniuses in the LLDC.

Police investigate Carl Benjamin, the UKIP candidate in the European elections, who thought it was acceptable to joke about whether or not Labor Labor member Jess Phillips was dismissed – although she was confronted on the street by a random male stranger who blamed her for being upset

If you want to know the level of daily intimidation of women in the public eye, remember that Karren Brady, time after time once, she says: she would have been involved in football if she had known the abuse she would get.

& # 39; Curses have been spit upon me, sung abusive and rejoiced at me – by phone, on paper and later on social media. Really, knowing what I know now, I don't think I would have taken the trouble, & she wrote in January.

Brady is the self-proclaimed first lady of football. Certainly, she is one of the most successful female sports managers in the country, with the reputation of being a flint-negotiating negotiator and not easily dismissed. If she even thinks she can miss it, we have really descended far from the garden.

Karren Brady says she would not have gone into football if she knew the abuse she

Tottenham has really tampered with the perfect end.

Even if Manchester City won the title, Liverpool could claim the Champions League against Ajax. That would mean that we must deny Spurs after their incredible European journey.

[Immortals]

You can also remember the driver during the club's victory parade takes a wrong turn in Norwich city center and that their open-top bus eventually along the A11 dual carriageway at 70mph, with Bassett and his entire team freezing half dead in the headwind.

This week, the very real players of the very real Norwich City see trying to give their own bright yellow open

Failed, they completed the journey instead on a bright red City Sightseeing bus . This is why satire is dead.

<img id = "i-1eecef910b5da91f" src = "https://dailym.ai/2H8THa6 -7012001-Norwich_City_s_players_were_seen_trying_to_push_their_open_top_p-a-3_1557430958291.jpg "height =" 477 "width =" 634 "alt =" The players of Norwich City were seen trying to push their open roofs after it broke

] The players from Norwich City were seen trying to push their open roofs after it broke

Since the royal baby arrived on the day of Vincent Kompany & 30-yard screamer around Manchester City to put it on the edge of the title, a trick with the name Archie Harrison seems to have been missed Prince Vince – seriously, what's wrong with you people

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