#silco doesn't behave the way a normal well adjusted person does

[thewistlingbadger]

ADDITIONALLY, people tend to overlook Vander's action because "we like Vander" and "he's a good guy" but let us please examine the devastating impact this night had on Silco. This event was so traumatic for Silco that the only way he could cope with knowing his brother randomly tried to murder him was by forming an entirely new identity. People look at Silco and see how twisted he is- yes. He IS twisted and it's because of what happened that night! Imagine if YOU were Silco, and YOU were blindsided by someone you considered family. For fucks sake, when we finally get to learn more about Silco's character, the first thing he does is implore us to understand him, to feel empathy for him!

"Have you ever wondered what it's like to drown?"

Imagine how Silco felt the days after the betrayal. He lost Felicia, he lost Vander, he lost his eye. Silco never got to read Vander's "apology" so he probably has no idea why Vander betrayed him. Silco probably spent the first days after that night, still recovering from his injury, scouring his mind for any sort of sign that this betrayal had been in the works for awhile, that Silco had somehow said or did something to deserve it. This line of thinking and the level of uncertainty of not knowing why this event happened to him at all is enough to drive anyone crazy. Because Silco is missing information, his mind is left to try to fill in the gaps, and for someone who was hurt the way Silco was, this is incredibly dangerous. Silco can't think of a single reason as to why Vander would do this to him or why this would have happened to him, so Silco comes to the conclusion that he was just too weak of a man. Had he been stronger, that night wouldn't have happened. Had he been less vulnerable and more closed off from others, Vander's betrayal wouldn't have hurt so much. He can't find a reason for Silco to be at fault but he blames himself anyway in a way. The persona of "The Eye of Zaun" is armor. Silco makes himself as intimidating and scary as possible so people won't even think of messing with him, let alone hurting him. He purposely keeps people away from him so he doesn't run the risk of being betrayed again. Ultimately in every way that night made the rest of Silco's life miserable. We don't see a single moment in s1 where Silco is genuinely and truly happy. He doesn't know what made Vander decide to treat Silco like a monster that day, but he leaned into the idea of being a monster anyway. Until it was all people could see. Until it actually became who he was.

To me, it's easy to have pity for Silco and have a bit of resentment towards Vander bc to me, I don't think there's anything anyone could do to make me have such an extreme reaction like Vander did. To me, drowning is one of the most unpleasant ways to die, one of the worst ways to die, and Vander willingly and actively chose to drown Silco. That takes so much hate. Which is why if I was in Silco's shoes, I'd become a twisted and sinister person bc what the actual hell. How could Silco NOT become a villain after that shit.