#signed me who's not really gonna be on socials today or tomorrow bc those are break days

[venusmage]

so because of depression and other outside life factors i built a bad habit of feeling like i Always Need To Work. the thing is, that causes burn out, and then if you don't work because you either feel ill or feel too guilty about not being productive every day - the OPPOSITE can happen -- where you end up doing absolutely nothing period.

my wife started making me recently take two days off a week where i'm not even allowed to THINK about work. of course at first i rejected this, but two weeks in I've been more productive IN those two weeks than I was in a month and a half beforehand.

i'm preaching to the choir but take breaks y'all

[dailytomlinson]

Louis Tomlinson was left sour-faced after begging Simon Cowell to save his act Armstrong Martins but to no avail.

The former One Direction star lost Armstrong in the first double elimination on Sunday night's result show, as he was sent home - alongside Olatunji Yearwood - following Simon's deciding vote.  

Armstrong was forced to go head-to-head with Janice Robinson in the sing-off and while his mentor championed his performance, Simon chose to ignore Louis' pleas and ended Armstrong's time in the competition.

Robbie decided to support wife Ayda and voted to send Armstrong home, telling the hopefuls: 'Two extreme talents... can't believe either of you are right in front of me right now. I'm going to keep it sweet and simple, the act I'm sending home is Armstrong.'

That left Simon with the deciding vote and Louis gave it everything he could to persuade his boss and close pal to give Armstrong another chance in the competition.

He told the music mogul: 'If we had a meeting tomorrow you would sign him tomorrow... I'm that confident.'

Simon already appeared to have his mind made up, as he ignored Louis' pleas and decided to save Janice's place on the show.

Prior to making his decision, Simon had debated between the two acts. He said: 'I'm going to be honest with both of you - why I think you're both here is even with those save me songs they weren't the right songs for you.

'Armstrong you are interesting, Janice we've lost you since your first audition, you are the better singer but Armstrong you're interesting.'

Janice gave an emotional performance of Miley Cyrus' track The Climb. Ayda showed her full support for the former 90s singer, as she stood throughout Janice's performance and vigorously applauded the hopeful.

Armstrong sang his rendition of Phil Collins' hit True Colours. Like Janice, his performance was full of emotional as the star gave it his all. Louis said he was 'absolutely speechless and gutted' to see Armstrong in the sing-off. He said: 'What I see in Armstrong is an artist, not a contestant.'

Fans watching at home were quick to throw their support behind Armstrong, with many criticising Simon's decision to send him home.

They penned in fury: 'How’s Armstrong in the bottom 3!?

'is there a wild card thing on the show?? bc armstrong really deserves to come back

'Well I think that's enough for today... I'm just so mad because of Armstrong leaving the competition.

'ayda and robbie are always gonna save each other’s acts & simon is just a d**khead who wants to disagree with everything louis says for the fun of it. not fair at all.

Ahead of Armstrong's exit from The X Factor, Olatunji was given the boot as he received the fewest votes from the public.

Ayda seemed devastated to see the star go, as she told host Dermot: 'I'm completely devastated. I just don't get it. He smashed it last night. He brought the house down. He's an incredible human being.'

Olatunji thanked the show for the 'opportunity' as he gracefully bowed out of the series.

Simon, meanwhile, successfully had all his acts sent through to the second week of live shows, as did Robbie.

Danny Tetley was seen eagerly celebrating as he was the second to last act to be put through, while Robbie's boyband United Vibe secured the last spot going forward.

At the beginning of Sunday night's results show, Dermot O'Leary left viewers amused as he joked he doesn't get paid enough on The X Factor.

The show host couldn't resist making a dig at boss Simon, after the judging panel decided to get cheeky with him at the beginning of Sunday night's results show.

Asking Simon which acts could be under threat ahead of the first live elimination of the singing competition, the music mogul referenced X Factor's double axing, as he joked: 'I think two will go tonight.'

Sighing with dismay, Dermot rolled his eyes and vented in response: 'This is what i have to work with for six months of the year,' before adding: 'They don't pay me enough.'

Following the first live show, two acts are set to leave the competition after giving it their all for The X Factor's Greatest Showman themed first week titled 'This Is Me'.

Fans were treated to a special performance from star of the hit movie Kaela Settle, who took to the stage with the track that has made her a household name.

Sharing her advice for the contestants following her performance, she said: 'What you're already doing is enough. Stick to your guns when you forget how good you are you've got people around you to remind you.'

2017 winners Rak-Su also took to the stage to perform their new single I Want You To Freak. Speaking to host Dermot following their performance, they said: 'It feels amazing to perform in front of everybody who helped me and my friends have the 12 months of a lifetime.'

Asked who they were rooting for this time round, Rak-Su picked out Anthony Russell for the 'perseverance' he has shown, auditioning for The X Factor multiple times before reaching the live shows.

The 12 finalists have now been whittled down to 10, with both Simon and Robbie still successfully having all four of their acts left in the competition.

Simon is mentoring the girls; Bella Penfold, 19, Molly Scott, 16, Scarlett Lee, 20, and Shan, 25.

Robbie has the groups; A*, LMA Choir, Misunderstood and Vibe 5.

Following Sunday's double elimination Ayda has Danny Tetley, 37, Giovanni Spano, 33, and Janice, 37, left in her category, while Louis has Anthony Russell, 28, Brendan Murray, 21, and Dalton Andre Harris, 24.

The X Factor came under fire with viewers, with many claiming this series should be the show's last as they hit out at the quality of hopefuls competing in the live shows.

Simon is mentoring the girls; Bella Penfold, 19, Molly Scott, 16, Scarlett Lee, 20, and Shan, 25.

Robbie has the groups; A*, LMA Choir, Misunderstood and Vibe 5.

Following Sunday's double elimination Ayda has Danny Tetley, 37, Giovanni Spano, 33, and Janice, 37, left in her category, while Louis has Anthony Russell, 28, Brendan Murray, 21, and Dalton Andre Harris, 24.

The X Factor's first live show came under fire with viewers, with many claiming this series should be the show's last as they hit out at the quality of hopefuls competing as finalists.

Taking to Twitter, disgruntled viewers penned: 'Surely this is the last series of #xfactor !? Having Robbie and Ada are just scraping the barrel now!' One fan wrote, leading the troops.

Definitely the last series of #XFactor. It’s absolutely on its a**e.

'There was some rubbish on tonight. #XFactor'; 'WTF is this rubbish?'; 'Have to say on the whole #xfactor has been utter rubbish tonight.

'#XFactor this should be the last series simon dont even give a s**t about what his girls sing.' (sic)

X Factor's first live show was hampered with a massive error when the voiceover introduced Danny Tetley as Anthony Russel on Saturday. Nail-biting scenes saw the X Factor contestant stop mid-performance before restarting his song on the live show of the series.

Yet 'tearful' fans praised the singer for not letting the 'stupid mistake' unsettle him when he had to start belting out his vocals once again.However, it wasn't long before the outspoken judges turned on each other during the live show of the competition.

X Factor fans were seething with bosses for silencing Louis Tomlinson's microphone when he fought with Robbie Williams over One Direction on Saturday.

The Let Me Entertain You hitmaker ripped into Louis' former band One Direction when Simon Cowell criticised his group United Vibe during the first live show. Much to the distaste of One Direction's biggest fans, Robbie claimed his band United Vibe were 'leaps and bounds' ahead of the chart-topping boy group.

He asserted: 'You’re leaps and bounds ahead of One Direction. Better place than Take That one month in. These boys are going places.'

But before Louis could speak to defend One Direction, the X Factor bosses muted his microphone without any warning.

Fuming fans rushed to social media to share their frustration that the singer wasn't allowed to respond to Robbie's undercutting comment. The clash started because Simon made a sly dig at former boybander Robbie about United Vibe's image wasn't 'messy' enough for a boy band.

He said: 'This was better than I thought it was going to be. It all looks too stage at the moment. I don't need to tell you Robbie. It works when it's messy and fun.'

United Vibe, who were originally five singers put together as a group by the judges, drove fans wild on Twitter with their own version of former One Direction Niall Horan's song Slow Hands.

Keen to impress his mentor Louis, Armstrong Martins also sang a One Direction hit Story Of My Life when he showcased his incredible vocals.

Elsewhere on the show, Shan showcased her sensational vocals, even though Simon was away during her rehearsals this week and could only support via his phone.

Robbie confessed: 'I'm falling in love with you. You're the kindest woman in here, apart from my lovely wife.'

Ayda responded: 'I'm ok with Robbie falling in love with you. I have a spirit crush on you. I'd have super human power to sing just like that, SO WOULD ROBBIE.'

Olatunji impressed judges when he hit all the right notes with his own song he wrote just ten days ago before performing on Saturday's X Factor.

Back on the X Factor for a second time to prove she deserves a spot in the competition, Scarlett Lee sang her heart out to Aretha Franklin's A Natural Woman. The singer got a standing ovation from all four of the judges following her show-stopping performance.

Acacia and Aaliyah, who are only 14 and 15, put on a quirky performance when they sang Finesse by Bruno Mars and Cardi B.

Louis claimed: 'I love you two as individuals. I was expecting a bit more street than you. In general I was waiting for a little bit more.'

Ayda agreed: 'I totally agree I love you guys. I think you lost something. Too much stuff going on.' Robbie teased Simon: 'He is going through the man-a-pause. And unlike me, I think you can break America.'

Dalton Harris left everyone gobsmacked with his powerful performance of Life on Mars to close the show.

Louis said: 'I was so excited. I showed you off. I can comfortably say that was the best vocal of the night.'

[liu-lang]

mental health & job stuff - tw: eating disorders, anxiety, sexual assault, self harm 

this week has been difficult. on tuesday and thursday, I saw my new therapist and psychiatrist respectively. 

the moment i saw my therapist’s office, i had reservations on whether she could relate to me. she was a white woman, perhaps in her 30s who was wearing one of those ... convertible skirts ?... you know the one where you can wear as a skirt with a foldable waist band thing tt also can be worn as a tube top dress. i just google’d convertible skirt and patanogia came up (white ppl who have the luxury of time and money to go camping in the summer brand). her office smelt like one of those autumn-scented candles. she had a chakra wall hanging / scroll thing. the appointment started off pretty open-ended. i think she was trying to give me ~space~ to open up so that the conversation flowed naturally. but i just felt kinda lost bc it took me months through 2 clinics and 3 intake appts to finally see her. @ tt point, i’m tired of hearing ��so tell me why you’re here today” .... my scepticism increased exponentially  when she recommended practising yoga, being present and mindfulness training. honestly, idk why she works there ? bc she’s serving patients seeking treatment through the LA County Department of Mental Health. considering the issues they face and their lived experiences and socioeconomic status, i don’t think following a 10-min yoga lesson through an app (she seriously tried to recommend an app to me) is gonna make a difference. anyway, my next appt is in another 3 weeks. 

my psychiatrist is an older Filipino women, maybe in her 40s or 50s ... and the way she talks kinda reminds me of my mum (who is a big trigger for me). she asked lots of racially microaggressive questions before reading my file. really reminds me of how my mum exotifies my sisters and i for being mixed. i had to repeat details about my race, country i grew up and family structure a lot. she asked about my religious beliefs and i affirmed that i still identify as a muslim then she asked me if all muslim women have to go through female genital mutilation (there is a history of FGM in my family) ... and just, i can’t. her question came out more as a statement that she wanted me to confirm. i had to explain how it’s more of a mix of sociocultural factors than religious practise, tt not every muslim woman is subjected to it and there is an international response to educate these communities on its harmful effects. 

she also brought up the sexual assault tt happened when i was in high school. i alr felt distrustful and uncomfortable @ tt point ... i couldn’t make myself refer to him as a paedophile. she asked me who was this man and i just like... lost for words ? felt too ashamed ? ... i’m really stuck on how i couldn’t just refer to him for what he was. i guess i do have lots of lingering issues feeling like i am to blame for what happened. we also ran into some issues with my rx. my current pcp didn’t recommend me for my usual annual cardiology visit bc she believes i’ve been stable for a long enough time. but my psychiatrist strongly prefers if i can get an ECG. she did give me a rx for 10 mg lexapro though so... we’ll see how tt goes. i decided to finally seek medication because of my anxiety at work. i didn’t want it to affect my job performance. they also took my vitals ... the usual stuff, my blood pressure is low and i’m underweight. i need to go back for blood work on tuesday. 

speaking of job performance ... i went to a career fair at my alma mater. i had a federal work study position at the career development center as a communications assistant (basically a combo of outreach, distribution, marketing, social media management, data anallytics) so it was different to be on the other side of things. one of the employers present contacted me for an interview. the interview was successful and they extended me an offer. then they gave me the runaround for 2 weeks and i received an email yesterday rescinding the job offer. needless to say, i was blindsided. here’s the time line of events

10/19 thursday - attended job fair

10/20 friday - received a call to schedule an interview then an email confirmation for interview

10/24 tuesday - went in for interview (had to move my psychiatrist appt which essentially changed my psychiatrist so ... idk if i could have had a better fit. i’m miffed abt this.)

10/25 wednesday - phone call from HR offering me the position, they told me i could have until 10/30 to make a decision. they also said they wanted a 11/06 start date if possible. i told them i had to give 2 weeks notice at my current employer as proper protocol

10/27 friday - i rang HR and left a voicemail indicating i’d be interested and wanted to discuss benefits etc 

10/30 monday - i rang HR again and told them i had left them a message on friday and would love to hear back from them soon. no phone call back. in the afternoon, i sent an email to the recruiter i originally handed my resume to letting him know i’ve been unsuccessful in reaching the HR person and would appreciate an update. he rang me back assuring me the offer was still on the table and they would gladly have me and he would email me an official offer by the end of day, also stressed 11/06 start date and i again repeated the 2 weeks notice spiel and could HR send me a summary of the benefits 

11/01 wednesday - i ring HR and finally speak to the HR person. she didn’t receive any of my messages and the recruiter didn’t inform her of what i requested. she said she usually is not in the office mondays and fridays. she sounds in a hurry and is in the middle of doing payroll. i keep it short and express interest in accepting the offer. could i have summary of the health insurance plan and possibly negotiate a slightly higher salary ? she agrees to send me a official written offer by the end of the day or tomorrow. again they emphasise 11/06 start date... i’m like really confused but just repeat that i would love to start asap but also what about 2 weeks notice

11/02 thursday - i receive an email from HR rescinding the job offer with the explanation they had already filled in all the positions they were recruiting for. 

this post is getting super long. there were red flags abt this company from the beginning but i was holding out hope bc surely a university would have thoroughly vetted the employers they invite to a career fair. also bc i worked for the CDC and knew these employers & established a rapport through my position there. i’m still trying to process everything. i’m mostly crushed at the realisation tt i will have to work another black friday in retail. i would hear things abt ppl not being able to work bc of mental health issues. i nvr discredited them but i also didn’t really have a concept of it ? now i have a lived experience. it is tortuous having to think of slogging through another holiday season when i was so close to leaving. i had a co-worker who just left and we were congratulating each other on finally getting out. it feels so defeating and depressing to still be stuck / left behind. this feels so much worse than an outright rejection. added onto normal anxiety associated w/ the recent grad job hunt, now i’m catastrophising what if this happens with another potential employer ? i keep wondering about the reasons why they rescinded ? maybe i shouldn’t have negotiated ? maybe i should have just accepted when they rang - i didn’t have any other offers on the table... maybe i tried to get in touch with them too much ? maybe i didn’t pass the background check ? maybe something went wrong w/ my references ? ...even though they kept insisting on like an impossible start date plus never sending me an official offer therefore preventing me from resigning and agreeing to their start date. i kinda want to have a meeting with my ex boss to let her know about my experience and maybe get advice on um... being aware of warning signs to prevent this from happening again ? but i don’t want it to sound like i’m blaming the university for bringing on shady companies ... i know my experience is not reflective of everyone else’s. it’s hard not to internalise this and feel like there is something wrong with me. another thing is ... i have like no written evidence of everything in between so on email it just looks like i had an interview and then they rejected me. and my phone calls which they nvr answered looks like i was the one hounding them when ... understandably i wanted to move the hiring process along bc they were adamant on the 11/06 start date. i also needed the time to make the very big financial decision of buying a fucking car in order to get to work (the office is in orange county which has 0 convenient transport options esp. going btwn LA and orange counties) 

i’m really anxious abt having more allergic reactions at work - especially bc the managers now know. i have an appt with an allergist but it’s not until january. idk if my skin can survive. i can hide it when it’s on my body but lately it’s been flaring up on my hands - which i use to touch merchandise, handle money, stock shelves, build displays ... just lots of touching and hand contact with possible allergens. i cried in the car after work yesterday and have been battling thoughts of self harm since wednesday. sigh... i’ll have to call this afternoon asking for next week’s work schedule at the store. tt familiar feeling of being overwhelmed and wanting everything to stop is coming back. 

[itsjayyyy]

January 16, 2019 4:51 pm

So on last thursday after that update, I met up with heather for the first time since October. We met up at starbucks, but neither of us bought a drink. She already knew about my moving out because she saw me posting about it on snapchat. I told her all about how my new roommates don’t really talk to me (or do the dishes, or pay rent on time...) and also how my parents didn’t let me have my own bed (she was really shocked at that, which i didn’t understand like girl ive been homeless because of my parents no shit they won’t let me take a bed they bought themselves). I also told her about the whole rose situation, and ofc anna. I thought it was funny how when i told her about the whole “surgery on a porcupine” she was like “how is that possible? you mean she did surgery on those things that fall off of trees?”

After hanging with her, I went home since I had like 5 hours until my next class. rose kept messaging me like “hey are you ready to meet up?” “i can see you’re home now” etc. I didn’t answer, and honestly i was annoyed that she used my location as a weapon, so i left my phone at home when i went to class. Which was kinda annoying tbh, i felt so disconnected without it. (just got sidetracked, but i think when i get my student refund i’m gonna buy an ipod nano 1st gen, which was the first mp3 player i ever had. prob gonna fill it with the 3 vocaloid cd’s i found). After class i went to get a smoothie, then drove home. rose was waiting outside my door for me to get home, and she started going on about “omg i was so worried you weren’t answering my texts etc” we get into my apartment, and i just kinda unloaded onto her (again). just told her how it’s not even just the whole mom situation, but all of them had piled so much hate onto me since i was a kid that i’m incapable of loving myself, and it only frustrates me when they say “don’t see yourself negatively!” it’s like someone breaking your arm and then saying “just use your hand to grab x” without acknowledging that your arm was broken by them. she starts crying (as she always does tbh), then we go to get sushi. 

friday i only had one class (psychology) so i chilled at home most of the day. can’t really remember what i did lol. oh wait i think i hung out with rose, to make up for not hanging out on thursday. yea we chilled at my apartment for a bit, then went to the west side to scoop up peter and get hooter’s. and then i complained about how i started feeling sick, and then called in saturday. i told myself that i would get ahead on my homework and clean my room, but i spent most of the day chilling. the gray cat that hangs around my apartment walked by my window, so i opened it and pet her. She climbed into my room, and i spent a good 3 hours just playing with her. I texted the owner asking if she was pregnant or not (bc she really looked like she was about to give birth) but he texted back saying it was a boy, and neutered. apparently he’s just super cuddly. 

i called in sunday too, since it’s like i already lost an attendance point and i didn’t feel like going to work. i actually was productive that day, like i did laundry and cleaned my room. still getting the depressive episode out of my system, though, so i wasn’t running at full capacity. 

on monday, i checked anna’s twitter (btw after i soft blocked her i felt that she was still looking at my profile tho, like our tweets would mirror each other in mood a lot), and she tweeted “omg i think my crush is flirting with me” so rip my chances with her. and yea i know it wasn’t about me bc outside of class i heard her talking about how they were talking thru snapchat. :c

i really can’t wait until fall when i get transferred to the downtown campus, though. as i was walking up to msb, i saw someone sitting directly next to the entrance. and you can probably guess who it was. I really thought “new semester, new schedule, no more stalker savon waiting outside my classes” but i guess i was wrong. as i sat in the hall waiting for my class to start, I had a minor anxiety attack that i tried to cover up by talking to my classmates and professor about high school funding. luckily in that conversation, i learned that msb has two side exits, so now i have different paths to take. (honestly this whole time i’ve gone here, i thought the “handicap accessible” sign in front of the side entrance was trying to say that wheelchairs should go down the stairs, but my classmate pointed out that it was supposed to say “handicap accessible, up this path to the right,” not directly forward. I took the side stairs after class and basically ran to the garage in case he was following. At home i still had an assignment for comp, which was “visit a place on campus that you’ve never been to before and draw it in a 4-panel comic” (this class is all about multimodal writing) which, by the way, is really only possible for freshmen. as a spohomore, there isn’t a single place on campus that i haven’t been to. except for that side stairwell. so i drew my experiences taking a new staircase as an exit. let me make this journal entry multimodal by adding my comic:

anyways, that comic was apparently way overdrawn, when all of my classmates did simple stick figures at memory mall. kinda felt like wednesday addams wearing a long black dress at summer camp. it was nice tho, gave me a way to express all of my feelings about the whole thing (since i had nobody to talk to). it was like art therapy.

tuesday we had a quiz at the end of calc. i know hindsight’s 20/20, but seriously how the fuck did i fail this class it’s so damn simple. I finished the quiz in a literal 30 seconds and then sat there because i didn’t want to be the first person to finish. all of my classmates looked really deep in thought too, so i started to wonder if i was maybe not doing it right. but then the professor walked by and saw i wasn’t doing anything, so i was like “is this all that we have to do (setting up an integral but not even solving it)” and he was like yea, ur good. surreal.

then i went home and chilled until my evening class, then after that drove to peter’s bc we were gonna hang. so rose remembered that i was coming over, but peter forgot; while peter remembered they invited paul over, but rose forgot. i know that they’re kinda close with paul and all but tbh i don’t really know him that well, and it feels awkward hanging with him. when i told rose that, she was like “but you guys have hung out together, remember that time you got blackout drunk and slept on his bed, i felt like that was a real bonding moment for yall” um no i actually didn’t remember that, probably because i was BLACKOUT DRUNK. anyways i told all of them about anna (since peter and paul didn’t hear the story), then we smoked a little and played comer. We all won a round except for peter lol. then we watched an episode of marie kondo’s show (i wanted them to see how she lowkey looks like a robot), and then i headed home. i got home at like midnight tho, and since we had a sub today in calc, i figured i could skip it. so today i woke up around 10, got on campus at 2 since i was gonna hang with heather (but her boss didn’t let her have a break since she only worked 5 hours so we’re gonna meet tomorrow instead), went to psychology (and we finished the chapter early so no class friday!!!), and since then i’ve been in the library writing this.

here’s my plan for surviving this semester: i’m gonna act like this is fuckin birdbox, but extreme version. he wants to get a reaction out of me, and he’s not gonna. from now on, any time that i’m outside of a building (and even most times that i’m indoors but not in class) I’m going to have headphones in, and look down at the ground (not like directly at my feet, but like looking forward but at the ground ahead of me) or at my phone. that way if he finds me, he still can’t get a reaction bc i’m visibly distracted in the only two senses that he can reach me through. i don’t think he would go as far as to try to touch me, so i should be safe.

i hate that i feel like i’m always on the defensive at my own damn college. i hate feeling like i can’t even walk around freely without being followed. but hopefully i just need to make it to fall, hopefully ucf doesn’t delay the opening of the downtown campus, hopefully i transfer in a few months and can *really* put this all behind me. then it’s all smooth sailing, just gonna go through my final two years at uni, then graduate, get a job in CPS for a few years, then go back to school for my master’s. from there become a licensed clinical social worker, so that i can maybe work for cps but in a hospital setting where i get paid more, buy a house, have a family. get out of orlando. (but i kinda like orlando...)

anyways it’s 6 o clock now, so in about 15 minutes i’m gonna leave the library, use the guidelines i wrote above, use the side entrance, and get to class.

[dinahshore]

odd numbers?

kill me now jeez are you even gonna read this jk lmaooo 

1. Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora? tbh apple music lol

3.what color are your eyes? ugly dark brown

5.what is your relationship status? got myself a cute country boyyy

7.what color hair do you have? again ugly dark brown

9.where do you shop? online like 95% of the time

11.favorite social media account? hmm twitter

13.any siblings? yeah 3 lil ones (sis 16, sis 5, bro 13)

15. favorite snapchat filter? dog filter yes imma hoe

17.how many times a week do you shower? everyday sometimes twice a day

19.shoe size? 8 mostly sometimes 9??

21. sandals or sneakers? sandals for dayzzz

23.describe your dream date? something lowkey like the bbq place by my house lol

25.what color socks are you wearing? i h8 no show socks but thats all i buy??

27.do you have a job? what do you do? server/ hostess.. make those billzzz

29.whats the worst thing you have ever done? hmm probably the time i accidentally killed my box turtle when i was 7 :(

31. 3 favorite boy names ohhh either burt leon or burt montgomery dont judge but legit olivier wendall its such a CUTE name tho and james (jimmy) gerald

33.favorite actor? nahhhh fam i cant paul newman? henry fonda? gary cooper?

35.who is your celebrity crush? tom selleck at any age got my heart forever and ever

37.do you read a lot? whats your favorite book? i used to read sooooo much but i nvr have time now... but i love autobios

39.do you have a nickname? what is it? i h8 my nickname & name in general so ill pass lol

41.top 10 favorite songs? not in order what so ever

sweet georgia brown - anita o’day

ANY SONG EVER RECORDED by j.j. cale & george strait ngl

just for a thrill- peggy lee

the sound of silence/mrs.robinson/bridge over troubled water - simon & garfunkel

gangsta’s paradise- coolio

imma just stop there... any many songs i cant even think

43.what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc) dry af i h8 lotion but i need it... 24/7

45. how many kids do you want? lolol honestly if i dont have like 8 kids imma be so heartbroken i love children. i cant wait to be a mama. i want a huge family to love/support/cherish

47. what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc) umm its pretty average late 70s built texan home??

49.what was the last compliment you received? kinda creepy but my neighbor across the street while i was getting the mail today said i had “some fine ass legs”

51.how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real? i wanted to believe for so long 6th grade when my lil brother told me lmaoo

53.opinion on smoking? im lax on cig smoking. ive been a off/on smoker since i was 13 i only smoke maybe 3 times a week. my boyfriend has no idea and im not going to tell him

55.what is your dream job? just working with animals but ultimately i wanna be a mama  

57. do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels? nah i dont even travel enough tbh

59. do you smile for pictures? every single picture ever taken of me???

61.have you ever peed in the woods? ughh jeez too many times to count

63.do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds? MCDONALDS FUCK WENDYS

65.what do you wear to bed? boxer shorts& a  big t shirt sometimes a night gown

67.what are your hobbies? i love crafts, dealing w/ animals, watching movies

69.do you play an instrument? only the guitar... i really need to pick it back up

71. tea or coffee? only sweet tea

73.do you want to get married? heck yeah

75. are you going to change your last name when you get married? yep

77.do you miss anyone right now? yeah my bf but tomorrow morning we are gonna go out for breakfast

79. do you believe in ghosts? YES do i have some horrible ghost stories that happened to me wow

81.last person you called? my granny

83. regular oreos or golden oreos? bruh regular

85.  what shirt are you wearing? lol my dont mess with texas t shirt

87.are you outgoing or shy? i used to my painfully shy i honestly cant shut the fuck up now....

89.do you like your neighbors? one is my childhood bestfriend and the others are old ppl who ask me to watch all their pets i loveee my neighbors

91.have you ever been high? yeah im a weak ass bitch i cant even handle weed

93. last thing you ate? my handpicked blackberries with sugar & whip cream

95. summer or winter? winter but i love summer also bc im outside everyday with my lizard during the winter shes asleep :(

97.dark, milk, or white chocolate?  just milk??? i really dont like milk...

99.what is your zodiac sign? capricorn

[iheartsurveys]

98

Have you cuddled with someone today? Just my dogs Can you smell anything right now? I put moisturizer on my face a little while ago and I can still smell it Have you spoken to a relative on the phone today? No Do you use the toilet paper with the colourful designs on it? Nope Do you wear your hair up or down most often? It's kind of a 50/50 these days. How does alcohol affect you? It varies tbh...I used to be more of a lightweight and then for a while I'd drink a decent amount and feel no change. But since I've graduated and I'm not going out every weekend and drinking as much I feel like I've kind of gone back to lightweight status ish When was the last time you had a cold or flu? Over the summer What was the first thing you ate today? A waffle Do you have anything more important you should be doing right now? Not really Do you still buy the paper or do you get your news elsewhere? Online or on tv Have you ever eaten tofu and if so, did you enjoy it? Nope Have you worn make-up today? I wore a little concealer and that was it Do you ever get dizzy and nauseous when you’re extremely tired? No Have you ever tried lemon brownies? Can't say that I have Can you hear anything right now? My fan is on What was the last type of meat you ate? Ham What colour is your toothpaste? Blue and white Have you taken any medication today? Just my daily bc and migraine meds Have you ever been suspended from school? No Have you ever inhaled helium? Yessss it's so fun lol. At my last restaurant job we had a helium tank for balloons and sometimes we'd blow one up just for fun Have you bought something that was on sale today? No Are you a fan of Adam Sandler? I love his older movies, he was great back in the day What was the last fruit you ate? Strawberry Off the top of your head how many aisles are in the supermarket you shop at? Maybe 15ish? Or 20 idk Have you ever watched Parks and Recreation? I just started it like last week and I'm obsessed. I took a little break to binge watch a series of unfortunate events but I'm gonna get back at parks & rec probably tomorrow Have you watched a movie this week? Don't think so How far away is the closest McDonald’s from your house? Like 3 miles Have you ever been to a wedding? Yes, but not in quite a while What is your favourite kind of pasta? Penne. Ala vodka. Om nom Have you set an alarm today? Nope Do you keep up-to-date with current news and events? Yes of course, idk how people can't these days with all the technology and social media we have When was the last time you visited relatives? Christmas Day Have you asked someone for advice today? No What was the last website you were on, other than this one? Twitter Did you ever play Habbo Hotel? No Do you speak any languages other than English? I know some Spanish and Italian but I'm better at understanding it than I am at speaking. Especially since I don't keep up with learning it Have you ever been to Hawaii? No What colour is your shampoo? No Have you watched more than an hour of TV today? Yes Ever wake up early on Saturdays to go Garage Sale shopping? Not in a long time When was the last time you got a nose bleed? I've only gotten like 2 ever, the last one was within the last 4 years How old is the mattress on your bed? 6 years? Idk how long mattresses are supposed to last but mine is still bomb. Maybe because 3 of those years I spent on campus in a dorm so barely slept in my bed but still. It's so comfy Do you have any picture frames without a picture in them? Yeah I need to print some pics Do you keep magazines by your toilet? No What did you last take a picture of with your camera? I hardly ever use my actual camera. I brought it to Italy but then thought my phone pic quality was better so I stopped using it. I probably last used it somewhere in Rome The last time you got dressed up, where did you go? To the bar lol Did the one person who hurt you the most in your life apologize? Yes kind of I guess Are you proud of who you are? Yeah occasionally Think of a random person, and give them a message here, no names: Hi If you were a waiter/waitress, would you make good tips? I'd hope so. I'm pretty nice I think What if there were two of you? Would the world be in trouble? Nah, as I said I'm pretty nice. So unless other me is totally evil I think the world will survive Forget about toppings. What type of CRUST do you like on pizzas? Thin crust like a good ny style pizza. So gooood Have you ever stolen a road sign or traffic barrier? No but I saw several people my freshman year of college steal traffic cones Captain Crunch vs. Count Chocula: Who makes the better cereal? I hate cereal Would you prefer an ice cream sundae or an ice cream cone? Sundae Is chapstick a necessity for you? Oh yeah What are the best kind of Girl Scout cookies? Forever torn between thin mints & tagalongs buuuut you know I think I'm just gonna go with thin mints If a cop was following you, would it make you paranoid? I get mildly paranoid and watch my speed but not too much. I get more paranoid when it seems like a regular car has followed me for a while Do you watch movies with the subtitles on? Yeah if I'm watching a foreign movie