#shoutout to my friend udon for helping me brainstorm ideas :3 i wouldn't have gotten this done without her help

[quigzahhutt]

9 or 46 with Liam/Alex

ooooh I think I'm gonna try and do both >:) save me 2021 vaguely toxic lialex ....

9. "in public" / 46. "out of envy or jealousy"

for the kiss prompt game!

Alex was leaving. Alex was getting calls and offers and lifelines and he was leaving. He wouldn't be Liam's teammate for the rest of the year. He's talking to other people and he doesn't need Liam to drive him around anymore and it's gut-wrenching.

And it's ridiculous how much Liam cares– how much he wishes he was in Alex's seat, wearing his uniform and being pulled aside by all these seemingly important people who are here to offer him jobs.

He hates how much he feels left behind. He hates how much he knows Alex doesn't feel the same.

Because Alex is always so dismissive. He thanks Liam for the ride, and then battles him on track for p7 like it's the most important overtake of his life. He sounds so much smarter in debriefs, well-educated in the discussion in a way Liam has never been able to achieve.

He wants to be Alex. He wants to be the one getting calls from red bull, from Williams and Alfa Romeo. He wants to make the impact that Alex has, and yet he can't even make an impact on the guy himself.

Because Alex is leaving on Monday, and he seems hardly affected by it at all; but Liam is so affected it makes him dizzy. He's losing his teammate– his teammate he so desperately wants to be. His teammate who will probably replace Liam with a brand new, totally smart teammate in 2 weeks time.

Someone nudging his shoulder forces Liam back into his body, and he flinches where he's sitting, completely unaware of what was just discussed in the team briefing. The bony shoulder could only belong to one person.

Alex's ridiculously elongated figure unfolds from the booth seat next to him, and he has an easy smile on his lips as he juts his head in the direction of the door, signally Liam to get up and start making his way to the track.

When Liam doesn't move, Alex's lips shift into a frown, his eyebrows curling into something concerned.

"You alright, mate?" His cool accent slips easily through his teeth, and it makes Liam furiously jealous.

His voice is always so collected, proper and organized like a faultless machine, and he envies it every time he hears Alex speak during team meetings, because Liam is nothing like that.

Liam is young, and his naivete sneaks out of his mouth without his consent, and it makes it so painfully obvious, then, why Alex is always the desired one.

Because he's calculated; Alex knows what he wants and he's good at getting it. Liam is sure that everyone only remembers him for his undeveloped maturity and his foul mouth.

That's probably all Alex will remember him for, too.

Suddenly, Liam is standing up, calling Alex's name and catching his attention, waving him back to the team motorhome. He has to make sure Alex knows him for something special, something that other people don't know.

Alex makes his way back quickly, skipping a step on his way up the utilitarian stairs, the metal skeleton rattling with each press of Alex's weight.

"Are you sure you're alright?" Alex asks, reiterating himself from earlier, and Liam wants to scoff.

"This is your last race," he states plainly, as if Alex doesn't know that clear as day.

"Yeah? Are you- is there something you're worried about?" Alex asks, his tone shifting with genuine concern, seemingly conflicted over whether or not to take Liam's distress seriously.

A nonsensical fury bubbles up in Liam's esophagus, and he can hardly stop himself before he surges up and presses his lips to Alex's.

It catches them both off guard, so it results in something clumsy and uncoordinated. He has to stand on his tip toes, and his hands are placed ungracefully on Alex's hips, while Alex's hands are idling in the air, braced like he expected Liam to tackle him to the ground.

Alex is soon shoving him off by the shoulders, a borderline disgusted expression on his face, but Liam knows the truth– he had felt Alex's lips press harder against his, how they moved in a way that could only be purposeful, even if it was for the briefest moment.

"Liam- what the hell? You can't just-" Alex is speechless, his mouth opening and closing, small noises of disbelief eking out now and again.

"That was so stupid, what were you thinking- Liam, what the fuck," he finally settles on with a breathless laugh, and his hands are still planted heavily on Liam's shoulders, his arms straightened out as if to keep him away.

Liam's arms are hanging loosely at his sides now, and the tips of his fingers tingle with something like regret, or maybe thrill; they might as well be the same thing.

"I know what I'm doing, dude, just-" Liam spits, interrupted by a humorless laugh from Alex, the sound cutting through the air without remorse.

"Clearly not! This is-" Alex is back to doing his stuttering thing again, starting and ending sentences before they can even form into a coherent thought.

"You kissed back," Liam points out, cutting off Alex's spluttering, and the other man's face twists into something he couldn't explain even if he tried.

It's something like shock, but deeper, saturated with an unhealthy layer of guilt, and something else indescribable.

"That's not- this could ruin our careers, Liam, do you even realize how fucking- just, ridiculous you're being," Alex asks, except it's not a question; it's aimed at him like he's trying (and failing) to teach him a lesson.

The door next to them is still wide open, their profiles exposed the rest of the trailer park. Anyone could have seen them kiss, could have seen the way Alex reciprocated, could have seen the way they're both teeming with raw energy.

"It's not like either of us have much of a career to ruin," Liam spits, and that's when Alex finally lets go, releases Liam's shoulders from his grasp with a harsh shove.

"You know what- I'm leaving. Just- come to the garage when you can, and don't do that ever again. Fucking ridiculous," Alex huffs before storming off, gliding down the stairs in one easy motion before he begins slogging his way through the damp grass surrounding their trailer.

Liam just watches as Alex leaves; he feels miles away already, like he's already left the team, raced his last race and abandoned this part of his history like it never happened.

Liam knows it did, though. He has a feeling Alex won't forget it, either.

ooohhhhh this request was HARD but I actually LOVED writing it!!

it was nice writing Liam and Alex again, too; 2021 lialex is one of my favorite dynamics to write– there's just SO MUCH THERE. age difference, power imbalance, bratty Liam, weak conscience Alex. it has everything and more and I love it