#shoutout to all the comments recently who've been like wow you write Caracalla's POV so believably | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

inseparabiles · 1 day ago

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#fuck you up disease (fibromyalgia)#I think the worst part about fibro is that there's very little non-clinical info #readily available #not many people talk about it and if they do it's with like a suicide disclaimer #so what we have is this really bare bones medical nonsense we get from google #that makes it sound like fibro is just feeling a little tired and achy sometimes #and on the other end of the spectrum the hellscapes of personal anecdotes #from people who have 10 000 chronic diseases and pain so bad they take morphine #and you're there like. which one is it. clearly what we have is not fibro since #it's neither nothing (I can't get out of bed) nor unbearable kill me perpetually hospitalised levels of suffering #like. do I want morphine? yes #do I absolutely need morphine right now? probably not honestly.#I'm not suicidal I just want to not be afraid of making food #in case getting up and moving will have us in so much pain again that we get in our head about it #like no we're not dying. people don't just randomly get stage 4 cancer after going out in cold weather.#that's not how terminal illness works #but with the brain fog we have no inner comms and with no inner comms we have no memory #and with severe amnesia life is only what life is now and nothing else exists #there is only this moment and this moment #this moment lads #it hurts so fucking bad #shoutout to all the comments recently who've been like wow you write Caracalla's POV so believably #friend it's because chronic pain is chronic pain and when your brain does not fucking work the world gets weird #but weirdly it's like. that makes this almost feel like there's a point to hurting like this.#like I may be going through the school of suffering day in and day out right now but #just as a reminder - it makes it easier to understand others who do.#being the punching bag of the sad and infernal gods keeps us humble in this house #and allows us to write VERY WEIRD FICTION

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