#should i make a tag for my ramblings i feel like i dump everything into my void tag lmao

[rave-rz]

Spill the tea. You posted in the MHA critical tag about Tokyo Revengers and Oshi No Ko. What was wrong with them? We write dissertations on the flaws of our show. Introduce us to what's wrong with the other two.

Share your trauma.

lmao honestly, fair. I included the 2 with mha since I liked all 3 of them a decent amount before the last arcs happened so sure, I don't mind trauma dumping! I guess I should perface that I read a lot of manga, so I'm kinda picky lmao.

Obviously, spoilers for Oshi no ko and Tokyo revengers manga below the cut. Also, I ramble so this might get bloated.

I'll start with Tokyo Revengers since it's been the longest since it ended and I'll admit my memory might be a bit fuzzy. Aside from Takemichi making me wish he learnt how to properly throw a punch throughout the whole show (like Takemichi, buddy you're in a gang please-). I thought the last arc was weirdly both rushed and also drawn out? Like it was trying to tell like 3 different stories (that could've had arcs of their own) but on like 2x speed.

There was the three deities fight which introduced 2 more gangs and killed off one of them immediately, the entire backstory of Shinichiro, the original timeline, time jumping and the dark impulses (which were retconned imo, went from actual negative emotions and trauma to a magical-ish concequence of time travel), the final fight between Kanto and Toman and then Takemichi and Mikey fixing literally everything. Like all of these things could've been whole arcs by themselves. I hate that they explain Takemichi having the time travel powers by having Shinichiro randomly find him as a child and give them to him and he just has this power dormat for his whole life till the start of the manga.

The time travel was always sorta spotty with it's rules but they stuck to them mostly throughout the story as far as I can remember, Takemichi has to shake hands with Naoto and can only travel back and forth 12 years from the day. But all of a sudden he not only travels back to when he was likt 6-8 after dying, but somehow takes Mikey with him?? They literally explain this with 'I don't know!'

They essentially create an entirely new timeline where everything bad that has ever happened to anyone hasn't happened yet somehow and not only do they not explain how (or even really attempt to), they then show a small little montage of Takemichi and Mikey saving literally everyone with a 'and then we saved everyone'

Literally everyone lives lmao. Even Akane and Shinichiro who were dead before the start of the story.

Aside from all the issues I had with how rushed and nonsensical the final arc/ending felt. I think my biggest gripe is that: the remaking of a completely new timeline. Nothing about the previous ones were relevant, because they travel back so far nobody remembers anything that happened throughout the story. Not even Chifuyu (the actual best character) who knew about the time travel. So this ending just leaves me with more questions. Like if Akane is still alive, did the fire still happen? Does Inupi still have his scar? Is this before Shinichiro started time travelling to save Mikey? Are Chifuyu and Takemichi even remotely as close as they were before.

The entire manga essentially leads you through a whole story and right before the end tosses it into the shredder and pulls out a fix-it fanfic they wrote and reads you the ending of that instead. Aside from Mikey and Takemichi, none of the other characters you've spent all this time with are there. They've been replaced with these versions of themselves who've been factory reset, nothing ever happened to them and Mikey/Takemichi are the only ones who remember anything. It feels like a slap in the face. How quite literally, nothing that happened mattered for the ending.

Was it a happy ending? Sure, yeah Kakucho was a favourite of mine and I'm happy to see him alive. But at the same time, if you were gonna do this, what was the point of killing him off like 10 chapters ago??

it really was our 'Tokyo Revenge'.

Now onto Oshi no ko! This one is a bit easier to articulate my thoughts for, not only because it ended more recently so I remember more of what happens. But also because through OnK I've realised I just do not think Aka Akasaka is a good writer regarding serious tones.

I did like Oshi no ko at first, I thought it was funny how every character and their arcs felt like they were in different genres. Akane and her noir detective, Aqua was trying to emulate the punisher, Ruby and her group was trying to be love live. But I slowly noticed as the story went on that it like talking at you. A lot of the 'commentary on the entertainment industry' was done through just telling you documentary-esque. Even the characters when going through something like that, they only went through a little bit before it gets solved and we never really hear or preferably see much of the aftermath. Not a huge deal imo, but it was one gripe I had pretty early on.

I think my main issue of the story though is how indescive the author was about so many things, but mainly the handling of Aqua in the ending, and more egregiously, Hikaru's character. Seriously, wtf did Aka want to do with Hikaru's character? He's written like Aka can't decide what he wants him to be. Like you go through most of the story being told he's this dangerous criminal mastermind who is irredeemble and needs to be brought to justice. Then you get a lot more character depth to him that shows him as a victim of abuse to sympathise with and start to appreciate him more as a character. Like yeah he's a messed up guy who did awful awful things. Is he guilty? Absolutely. But he wasn't unforgivable if that makes sense. We're shown how his actions are a sort of retaliation against the industry. how he seemed to genuinely love Ai. All of this could've led to a perfectly fine ending with an alright conclusion to his character arc. Like he could help Aqua save Ruby from Niino and in the end, still go to jail. Boom.

But then no. Aka changes his rationale the next time you see him, now Hikaru isn't trying to retaliate against the industry, he's instead just trying to keep anyone from surpassing Ai. Also he never loved Ai? Hikaru goes a whole 180 and his motivations are no longer tied to his abuse (which Aka has a habit of, theres like 3 characters in OnK alone, including Hikaru, who have being exploited as part of their backstory and does promptly nothing with them). He went from having a believable motive, while still being a criminal, to going back to a deranged psycho off to murder his daughter.

So Hikaru's main problem is how much potential he had as a charcter and as an antagonist (remember kids, you don't need to be a villain, to be an antagonist) but Aka backtracked in order to be iredeemable so Aqua is now forced to kill himself. Which ties into my other main problem.

Aqua dying is dumb, mainly cause of Hikaru's character shift (if Hikaru's character wasn't changed again, he wouldn't do this), but also it ruins most of the other character's arcs. Akane, Kana and Ruby's arcs were all pretty centered around Aqua, with Akane and Kana wanting to stop Aqua's descent into madness and Ruby just cared about his survival. The story spends quite a bit of time detailing a possible life where Aqua did decide to forgive and move on. We see how he was ready to go to med school and go back to being a doctor. His main character flaw of compassion and love (which helps with the tragic ending given how this flaw spurred him on with AI and pursuing justice for her and to go as far as he did) was given a path to be something helpful instead of harmful with him being a doctor. So much was set up to make readers believe in an alternative ending and have that be the peak of Aqua's character development. Him actually being, you know, happy and getting a natural happy end that was worked for and earned instead of the tragic ending the beginning predicted.

BUT INSTEAD Aqua dies and every character and their arcs gets quickly cut off with no actual ending to them. Kana never gets a chance to confess her feelings so her arc as a whole just stays pretty irrelevant to the main plot. Akane's participation in the final arc amounted to saving Ruby from stairs and ultimately she failed to save Aqua and never got to pay him back for saving her. And Ruby, god Ruby, she loses the person she cared for most again (this is like what, the 2nd, 3rd time now?) but we're told she bounces back and instead of showings us how, since she was ready to kill Hikaru when she found Gorou's body, we're instead told she's fine and get some one-liner about how fragile human beings are or something. All the while she imitates Ai and fakes her smile and happiness in the hopes that one day, she'll actually feel it. Which the story, just does not acknowledge.

Basically I think Hikaru failed as a character and an antagonist precisely because you get all this set up for Aqua to develop and choose a better path with him only to be slapped with "psyche, he's a psycho again".

So yeah, that kinda wraps up my main gripes. I can't really think of anything off the top of my head rn, so I'm really hoping I didn't forget anything lol.

[chroniclyillpolybat]

Why is it that when you suddenly become chronically ill, you can feel so lonely and disconnected from everyone? Is it just me, or is this feeling part of the journey of figuring out who you are now that you have limitations you’re struggling to accept?

Since February, I’ve noticed my health declining, even after I switched to a Mediterranean diet and managed to lose about 50 lbs. But then the pain kicked in, making it hard to walk some days. And when summer arrived, things got tougher. I started developing a butterfly rash and other rashes every time I was in the sun, which hurt even though I never got sunburned. I used to be the kind of person who would tan effortlessly after just ten minutes in the sun. This summer, I felt more like a vampire, trying to avoid sunlight at all costs. I even bought a cute little parasol so I could enjoy being outside when I needed to.

I feel like I’ve been stuck in the grieving phase, realizing that this isn’t just going to go away. I need to learn how to navigate daily life while managing chronic illness. Yes, I’m sad, and yes, everything hurts all the time, but just sitting around feeling down isn’t going to change anything. I really want to find a way out of this pit of despair and move toward acceptance.

Part of me thinks I need to ignite some passion within myself. But where do I start? Maybe I should be more open about what I’m going through. I’m working hard at being a good stay-at-home mom, but it can feel overwhelming. Since I can’t work at the moment, why not focus on personal growth? I’ve got a big house that usually stays pretty tidy, but I struggle with finding a consistent schedule. My ADHD loves order, but my body doesn’t always cooperate.

I genuinely want to be a great mother and partner at home. I want to lighten the load for everyone else so that I feel like I contribute something meaningful. Finding that purpose is key for me—I want to wake up excited to take on the day, even if I have a flare-up. Maybe it’s a bit of a dream, but why not give it a shot?

I’ve been searching for other moms who may not have it all figured out at home but are managing chronic illness while trying to improve themselves. I couldn’t find any! If you know of anyone, please DM me, tag them, or let me know how I can connect. So what’s my next step?

First up: shifting my mindset. I need to stop wallowing and start making a plan. Just changing my perspective and looking for the positives helps a lot (especially when I'm not on prednisone; it makes it easier to not feel sad or angry).

Next, I might try a brain dump—writing down everything I want to accomplish around the house, including what a 'perfect' schedule would look like. Then, I can color-code tasks based on importance, so I know what to focus on each day. On days when I’m flaring, I can start with the essentials and see how much I can do after resting.

I’m still in the early stages, but I wanted to share my thoughts with you. If anyone has ideas or strategies that work for them, I’d love to hear your suggestions!

Thanks for taking the time to read my ramblings! I’m thinking about documenting my journey as a stay-at-home mom dealing with ADHD, BPD, and chronic illness. Who knows? Maybe that’ll be the next step!

[idiotmf]

Overview

Welcome to my little corner of the internet. As I'm getting ready to post a lot more stuff, this post shall serve as your guide on my page.

Just here to find the Masterlist? Here you go.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Here's some things that you should know:

1. While I do occasionally write pure fluff and lore dumps that are SFW, my overall page is NSFW and 18+, therefore if you're a minor, please do us both a favor and do not interact.

2. I place my "read more" the way I do on purpose! It's to make sure you have to consciously agree to view the full, often NSFW, content instead of getting it shoved in your face, maybe even while you're in public. It also helps keep posts on my blog short and somewhat tidy.

3. I have a chronic need to over-explain myself and my content, resulting in long posts and long notes. Thanks anxiety™.

4. English is not my first language. I like to think I'm decent at it but I am not entirely confident about tenses and punctuation. I also just like to use a comma after every second word because my native language has so many rules on it and I'm low-key an idiot.

5. I write mostly for myself and just wanna throw my stuff out there. I love input and constructive criticism, so please don't be shy but don't be mean either!

6. I usually obsessively scan for typos and grammar issues (because anxiety and immersion) but I don't always catch everything, so I'm happy to be corrected, as long as it's not aggressive. (｡•́︿•̀｡)

7. I am open to suggestions and requests, although I don't take full on commissions (free or paid). I used to be a commission writer back in the day and I do currently really value my creative freedom.

8. Alongside random content, I like to depict my own, original characters (OCs) in different situations and dynamics. Sort of like an AU, except there is no original story. It's kinda like writing reader-insert FFs of my own characters, I guess.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Content, TWs and Tags:

I will try to provide anything that's needed to know on my posts but in case you just randomly stumbled upon my profile and this is the first post you see...

My main content and topics will always be Monsters and Smut.

• Other things that are good to know:

The reader is gender neutral, if not, I will state it. Usually the reader plays a submissive role and has female genitalia, although sometimes I will add variations. If you want me to specifically write one with male genitalia or a dominant role in mind, please feel free to reach out!

• Additional topics may be:

BDSM, Power Dynamics, Height Differences, Overstimulation, Dub-Con, illogical anatomy (if ya know, ya know), an insane amount of cum, etc.

↑ I will extend this list if needed.

Things that may trigger trauma or are extreme, even in my eyes, I will definitely state with a trigger warning, so please pay attention to avoid getting hurt.

That's it for now. Enjoy my ramblings.

(灬╹ω╹灬)

[gothamxwattpad]

Writer’s block doesn’t have me stuck.

I have me stuck.

I have multiple directions I want to go but can only pick one because each one changes what happens next.

One direction has me writing from the POV of a character that doesn’t really hold a lot of weight in the story, I mean, she does play her part. She’s the daughter of a former gang leader who still holds great power and influence over the other gangs in Uptown and Midtown Gotham. He did a thing (no spoiler) that got innocent people killed to save him and his own family. He’s had to live with that guilt and now his daughter has to live with it too.

Another direction has me jumping to the main character’s best friend’s plot line, (that was very wordy, my apologies). Him being the street art & comic book loving little punk he is, that would send him down a rabbit hole, (pun intended- no spoilers), which would skip ahead to present conflicts. I’d actually like to save that for a little later on.

Or I can continue on with my chapter three being in the same POV of my main character from chapter two. I’d like to go ahead and post chapter two but not until I’ve figured out what I’m doing with chapter three. (Again I apologize for the word soup, it’s been a long day).

After writing all of this, i didn’t even consider I have other characters I can play around with, after all, my biggest issue with rewriting was how many characters I have and that I kept trying to write it from one POV, the main character’s, and it wasn’t working.

I’m not pantsing, (you know, writing from the seat of my pants), I am following the same storyline I already have, just trying to do it better. I have another version of my fic, GothamX, on Wattpad and Archive of Our Own(AO3) and it’s okay. It’s not great and it needs a lot of organizing and editing and some love and affection. THAT was me pantsing.

But I’m trying and I keep reminding myself that little progress is still progress and this project is not work, it is art & fun & for myself. I wanted something different from all the other Harley Quinn and Joker fanfictions on Wattpad.

If you can’t find what you want to read in fanfiction, make what you want to read. Because chances are, you’re not the only one that wants that story.

(sorry, I’m derailing again)…

I really wanted to be close to done with part one by the end of January. Part One is the first night. It sets up the basis for everything else to come. The First Night. The First punch thrown. The First storm…

If I can get through part one, I can branch out more on the other plot lines with my other characters.

Welcome to my Tedtalk and thank you for letting me ramble on. Feel free to ask questions and such.

Tagging @dyrewrites since you said it was okay to brain dump on you���

All of this was actually pretty helpful. I should brain dump more often.

[andromedaexists]

WUPDATE: CALL ME ICARUS

𝚆𝚎𝚍𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚍𝚊𝚢, 𝙹𝚞𝚕𝚢 𝟷𝟿𝚝𝚑 || 𝙲𝚊𝚖𝚙 𝙽𝚊𝙽𝚘

y'all i am so busy rn that i forgot to keep yous updated on my progress. moving forward i am going to try and be more present here, i am going to work my way through my backlog of tag games this weekend and queue up all the writing yous tagged me in.

this month is camp nano and it has kept my mighty busy. here is a list of things that has happened this month:

finished the prologue and chapters 1-10. i got them up for betas to read (if you'd like to beta for CMI, the form is still open to apply here)

got in contact with an artist and started the process of commissioning them for a cover (they just sent me the concept sketch and im!!!!!)

set an official publication date (announcement coming soon 👀👀👀)

submitted a query! (and realized that i don't want to trad pub so i'm self pubbing instead!)

started talking to formatting editors. i'm not sure if i'll be able to afford a good formatting review before publication, but i am in talks with someone who will let me use their Vellum!

started research on how to self pub/what company i want to go through (and actually set up a channel where i can dump my research once i compile it!)

cried a lot over this whole process. a lot.

so yeah! a lot has happened! a lot of good stuff, but a lot of stressful stuff as well! that's okay though, i'm just over the moon that i have an official pub date 🥰

i'm going to push through to the end of camp nano, but i am going to try and get back into weekly wupdates and just talking about writing a lot more. i was a little hesitant about joining camp nano given how bad regular nano went for me last year, but a new server i joined has really helped me find my love of writing again (thank you doom and clanky and so many others that i met through the bird app, i love you all)

anyways, enough rambling. let's get to what you guys are really here for: snippets! i am going to add a couple here (read, a snippet for each chapter i've missed updating here) to make up for my relative silence as of late:

Chapter 5:

There are two more encounters listed below it, but before Icarus can read them over he is distracted by a flash of gold entering the shop. His eyes shoot up, latching to the new patron standing in line with their back to him. It’s normal for bright colors and movement to grab his attention, but this time something feels different. He can’t put his thumb on it, but his brain is telling him that he should recognize them. It’s screaming that he should know who they are. But for the life of him, he cannot make out who it is. Whomst? The fuck? From this distance, he can’t see anything that might tell him who they are. Their plain black clothes could be the tell of an Elysian, but that isn’t a guarantee. The only truly identifiable trait is the halo of blond curls cascading over their shoulders. Why do I feel like I know them?

Chapter 6:

Ariadne whistles, a long and appreciative sound as she sees her husband’s work. The tattoo had been a beast to heal, but the hours of torturous pain and restless nights of endless itching had been well worth it. He spent days ogling the tattoo after it had first healed, the feathers look so real that you can almost feel them when running your hands over the inked skin. It is everything he wanted and then some. A feather-light touch runs down the etched skin. There is only one person who had ever touched him with that kind of reverence, his artist must have gotten up to inspect the tattoo. He is admiring his art—as he should—when he says, “Looks like you should have used more lotion.” He lets go of one edge of the hoodie to flip him the bird. It’s impossible to hide anything from his artist, of course, and he knew that his lackluster care would be noted. There are likely small splotches where the ink had fallen out due to his poor moisturizing regiment, but it’s not like he has much of a choice in that. Icarus drops the back of his hoodie with a sigh as he turns to face the artist again. YOU KNOW? HARD REACH AREA ALONE. His eyebrows raise as he speaks, his signs becoming large and boisterous. He then mimes trying to reach the middle of his back. That gets a chortle out of his artist and Ariadne. He hadn’t thought to consider how he would need to reach every part of his back before getting the tattoo, and the fact that he doesn’t have anyone in his life to help him makes it that much worse.

Chapter 7:

“Look,” Andromeda levels at him, voice growing in intensity as they say, “I understand that you don’t quite trust me yet. I mean, we just met yesterday. Hell, I don’t even know your name yet! But-” “Icarus.” He grabs the hoodie on the left and pulls it over his head. He takes a moment to pull his hair up and fasten it in a ponytail before turning and leaning back against the closet door. “My name is Icarus.” “Okay. Icarus. Y’know, that fits.” Their voice is calmer, quieter, as if that piece of information is enough to placate them. Icarus huffs. The name really does fit him, doesn’t it? Always jumping into things without thinking of the consequences, taking risks, and keeping shit close to his chest until he gets a bit too close to hubris and starts to fall apart. Falling in love with the sun personified. Burning, falling, crashing, drowning. Yeah, the name fits him. The only difference between him and the Icarus of myth is that he died at the end of his story. Icarus has no plans of dying. No, he plans of making it out the other end of his story and living to tell the tale.

Chapter 8:

“I thought the whole ‘Oh, Hestia has a pizza shop?’ ordeal would tell you that I have no idea where to go.” Huh, yeah, that should have clicked with him. It’s not like they could search up directions, they likely don’t have a phone just the same as him. Can’t risk having a way for someone to use GPS to locate him. It’s not like he has anyone to keep in contact with, anyways. “It’s just down the street. Go out the front of the building and head down West Saint Clair, it’s just past fourth street. I’d say can’t miss it but you very much could, there’s no sign out front. It’s the only building that looks like there’s someone living in it on that block, though.” “Got it. West Saint Clair, Fourth Street, not-abandoned building.” Andromeda repeats the directions to themself as they head towards the front door. “Anything else while I’m out?”

Chapter 9:

How could he forget? “Καιρὸς δε, Thanatos,” he mumbles as he stretches his arms out in front of him and rests his forehead on the blissfully cool counter. “And here I was thinking you weren’t gonna remember me.” Long gone is the shrill and timid voice of a sickly kid, replaced by one of the most soothing and deep tones Icarus had ever heard. “…Fair ‘nuff.” The vibrations of a glass hitting the counter top make Icarus look up. A glass of water, just water. He groans, that is not what he wants right now. He’s craving the sweet buzz of an energy drink, but that will require him to get up and walk around the island to grab one. Andromeda chuckles, not moving an inch as they watch Icarus suffer over the glass. “Quit pouting and drink.” He drops his head, turning his face away from the glass. “Oh come on, you big baby. Deja de hacer un berrinche y bebe.” They poke his cheek as he pouts. “Mira, food’s ready. Sit up and eat.”

Chapter 10:

“Why are we running?” they ask, gasping for air after the impromptu sprint. Icarus points to the bird as it hops along the ridge of the tent. He turns to watch their reaction, this is a big deal. Their eyes widen and their jaw drops open, they are just as shocked as he is. His smile has not left, though it dulls as their face drops to sadness and grim acceptance. What? “A crow.” Before he can say anything the look is gone. They beam a bright smile at him. “I can’t believe you found a bird! That’s definitely good luck for us.” But it’s not, their reaction sits wrong with him. He squints his eyes, watches them to see if that glimpse of despair will surface again. When it doesn’t, Icarus forces a smile on his face. If they don’t want to talk about it then he isn’t going to talk about it.

Okay, i think that's enough of a writing dump for now. here's the CMI Taglist:

@flowerprose @isherwoodj @cream-and-tea @touchingmadness @lockejhaven @marinesocks @wildswrites @the-finch-address @writingpotato07-deactivated2023 @leighvalentin @inkspellangel @cljordan-imperium @outpost51 @alleahgrinnon @smol-feralgremlin

Please fill out this form to be added or ask to be removed!

[talksungchan]

Kiss Me Lifeless | Jeongcheol

⇢ word count: 8.4k ⇢ pairing: svt's choi seungcheol / s.coups x yoon jeonghan ⇢ tags&warnings: exes to lovers!au, non-idol!au, fluff, some angst, one kind of dubcon kiss ⇢ synopsis: choi seungcheol spots yoon jeonghan first across the room in a basement bar. it's been 3 years and seungcheol's words and thoughts are all tied up. ⇢ notes: i am jeongcheol trash!! i really didn't know how to end this but i was desperate to send this out into the world!! maybe one day i'll re-do the ending, but for now, i hope you enjoy everything else :) as always, likes and comments are appreciated<3

i. it's my birthday

Seungcheol spots him first, one arm leaning on the bar top and the other swirling a whiskey gently as he talked animatedly to another taller, older man. Since when did Jeonghan drink whiskey? Seungcheol thinks to himself before scoffing; it's been 3 long and arduous years and everything he knew about the still-blonde boy had probably changed.

The lighting in the bar is dim for the moody ambience, but it seems like Jeonghan is glowing amongst the dark surfaces clad in a cream shirt and a cream blazer. Seungcheol's throat feels like its closing in on itself as he swallows deeply, eyes still trained on the man. How could this have happened?

"Seungcheol?" his coworker tries to catch his attention beside him when he noticed that Seungcheol had stopped listening to his rambles, "Seungcheol!"

Snapping out of his trance, Seungcheol reluctantly tore his eyes from the men at the bar as if he was scared they'd disappear the next time he looked back. Seungcheol looked across apologetically at his coworker, "Sorry Hyun."

"Who's that at the bar? Are you interested in one of them?" Minhyun inquires cheekily, nudging him lightly, "You should go up to them."

Seungcheol debates in his mind for a quick second whether to spill his secrets to his friend before deciding quickly against it. No need to trauma dump on a guy on his 5th shot of the night.

"It's no one," Seungcheol mumbles, "You know, we should get going. It's getting late and your wife is expecting you home."

Minhyun grumbles, but agrees, "I hate how responsible you are. It's a Friday night, but you're right. How are you getting home? I'm calling a taxi!"

"I'll get a taxi too. Shame you live on the other side of the city, Hyun. You can go before me; I just need to grab my things in the coatroom," Seungcheol urges, hoping for a quick escape.

Minhyun nods along, giving his colleague a quick hug goodbye before making his way to the exit. Seungcheol exhales deeply and looks out through the corner of his eye. Jeonghan and the man were still there, now joined by a shorter female.

All Seungcheol had to do was make his way discreetly to the coatroom, which happened to be in the direction of the bar. It was fine, right? Jeonghan was surrounded by people and there was no way he'd pick out Seungcheol moving quickly if he was engrossed in conversation.

Seungcheol huffs, gets up and trods towards the side-room determinedly. He sighs in relief when he makes it in one piece before handing the ticket to the worker and being handed his coat and satchel from work. Okay, all he had to do now was make it to the exit in a discreet fashion and it would all be okay and he could forget that this night ever-

"Seungcheol?"

Seunghceol's heart leapt in yards and bounds as his stomach dropped. Would he be a terrible person if he ignored the calling and just continued on his merry way? Would that hurt more or less?

While Seungcheol was debating and hosting an inner monologue, Jeonghan had wrestled out of the hurdle he was in and approached the man, placing a light hand on his shoulders, "Seungcheol?" he called again.

Seungcheol turned around with an awkward smile, meeting the soft (and slightly red) eyes of his former lover, "Oh, Yoon Jeonghan! Fancy seeing you here!"

Jeonghan spluttered as he looked around and assessed Seungcheol, "W-what are you doing here?"

"I just had some drinks with my coworkers. They all already left," Seungcheol tried to explain, pretending oblivious to the actual meaning of his words.

Alas, Jeonghan was a persistent one, "No, Cheol. In Seoul. What are you doing in Seoul? Coworkers? Don't you work in Daegu?"

Seungcheol's lips pulled up into another awkward smile and laugh, "Ah, no. I got a promotion that came with a relocation to headquarters. Here in Seoul. This was my welcome drinks gathering, though I started two months ago."

"Two months ago?" Jeonghan's eyebrows converged into a furrow, "No one told me you were coming back."

"Sorry," Seungcheol breathed out, "I kind of didn't tell anyone. Wanted to settle in and see how it'd go."

"No one at all?"

Seungcheol scratched the back of his neck, "No. Look, I don't wanna keep you from your people. I should really get going but it was nice to see you, Jeonghan-"

Jeonghan took a hold of his wrist and frowned, "Seungcheol, don't go yet. I have so many questions to ask. I-"

"Do you think that's the best?" Seungcheol interrupts gently.

A look of slight hurt and disappointment washes over the angelic features of the man in front of him, making Seungcheol regret the words that came out of his mouth.

Jeonghan bit his lip as he looked at his ex and it was probably the alcohol that prompted him to be so bold with his next words, "I missed you, Cheol. I wanna know how you've been!"

Seungcheol's eyes widened at the confession, his neck flushing in a deep red, "Oh. Don't you have someone at home that would object to that?"

He doesn't. Seungcheol knows he doesn't.

"No," Jeonghan mumbles, "Can't you stay a bit longer? I'm just with my coworkers; we go out for drinks all the time."

Seungcheol looks at his watch and then at the man. How futile; he'd spend a trillion years ignoring his duties just to spend time with his lover. Or he would have. He doesn't know the right thing to do anymore.

"I should get going," Seungcheol utters reluctantly.

Jeonghan's demeanour drops visibly at the rejection, "Do you have someone waiting for you?"

He doesn't. Jeonghan knows he doesn't. Or at least he didn't last time he asked.

"No," Seungcheol quickly corrects, "It's just- I don't know if this is right. It's been a while and-"

"It's my birthday," Jeonghan blurts out suddenly.

Seungcheol pales. The days in Seoul had all blurred together and he couldn't tell you what day it was. It probably would have taken him the morning to have realised that, but he guessed it was a bit past midnight on October 4.

"Oh, happy birthday, Jeonghan-ah."

Jeonghan face palms and exhales, "What I mean to say is that I'm having a birthday party tonight. As in later in the evening once the sun comes up and then goes down again. You should come."

The invitation truly took Seungcheol by surprise, "Look, Jeonghan. I don't know if that's such a good idea. I haven't seen everyone in ages and it's a bit weird for me to drop in like that."

Jeonghan shook his head vehemently, "No, no. It's perfectly fine. They'd be so happy to see you and I know they miss you so much and everyone's coming and- and Jisoo!"

"Jisoo?"

"Jisoo! Jisoo's flying into the airport in the morning and Seokmin is collecting him and I know you haven't seen him in 3 years so you need to come!" Jeonghan urged. When did he get this brave? He was truly surprising himself.

Ah, Jisoo. Their missing puzzle piece and the 3rd in their trio. Seungcheol and Jeonghan had met the American on the first day of college and they all instantly clicked and everything fell into place. He was their brother, their wingman and their platonic soulmate. Well, that was when Jeonghan and Seungcheol thought each other to be their romantic soulmate.

"Please, Cheol. It won't be awkward! Now that you're back in the city, we can all be friends again!" Jeonghan clapped. He was always the more optimistic one and that was what hurt Seungcheol when he walked away from Jeonghan's pleading tries of 'we can make this work!' 3 years ago.

The defences came bouldering down when Jeonghan tugged on Seungcheol's sleeve and pulled his angel eyes, "Please?"

"Fine."

The slightly tipsy boy squealed in delight and squeezed Seungcheol's wrist, making his blush deeper in colour.

"What's your number? I need to text you my address."

Oh hell, Seungcheol thought to himself. He was so, so screwed.

------

ii. does it hurt to say you miss me too?

Seungcheol thought Jeonghan's reception to him would be cold at worst, reserved at best upon seeing him for the first time in 3 years. When he awoke in the morning in the sweet confines of his own bed, he was quickly overcome with thoughts from the night previous. How in the world was Jeonghan so nice to him when Seungcheol walked away so easily all those years ago?

That's what Seungcheol loved about Jeonghan in the first place anyway. He was warm, inviting and so lovely to everyone he met, despite being the cheekiest boy with his friends. Jeonghan loved to tease and he loved to trick and he loved to play games, but when it came down to it, Jeonghan was dependable and caring.

Seungcheol had been pondering over the past 3 years repeatedly why he left Jeonghan. When he was all alone in his flat in the centre of Daegu, he'd look over to the other side of the bed and wonder how it would feel to have Jeonghan occupying the other side. When he was having dinner alone on the couch, he would dream of Jeonghan sitting cross-legged beside him, slurping up his food despite complaining that Seungcheol was a terrible cook.

There was absolutely no denying that Seungcheol missed him. He never stopped missing him. But he was the one to walk away, so it was not his choice and privilege to come back and beg for forgiveness no matter how hard he wanted to.

3 years ago, they had just graduated from college and living together in a studio apartment on a 6-month lease. They were coming up towards the end of it and all they had done since then was fight and fight and fight. It had baffled them both considering they lived together in their last 3 years of college so why were they fighting now? Jeonghan was pushing hours at the marketing office he had landed a position at, to try and impress his coworkers, meanwhile, Seungcheol was working at the convenience store every night and most days while scrambling to find a job in the field he actually wanted to work in: music. They would work and work and come home to each other tired and exhausted, which would just lead to fights. Seungcheol hated how he couldn't provide more for his lover and Jeonghan detested that Seungcheol was never present at home. Eventually, when an offer to work at a music studio in Daegu came, Seungcheol took it and left the next day.

In his wake, he left behind a trail of disappointed friends, but most importantly, a heartbroken Jeonghan who had pleaded him to stay. Seungcheol had a lot of regrets. Not answering Jeonghan's or his friend's call for months being one of them. He was weak and he was a coward and if he could turn back time, he would. Losing Jeonghan was the worst thing that ever happened to him.

A call on his phone tore him away from his memories and only then did Seungcheol realise he was crying. It was Joshua, surprisingly.

"Shua?"

"Cheol! Guess what? I'm in Korea! Surprise! I'm here for a week and a half and I was thinking I'd come down to Daegu to visit you in a few days or you could come up to Seoul? I really miss you and I just landed and Seokmin picked me up," Joshua babbled happily.

When Jeonghan and Seungcheol broke up, Seungcheol had lost touch with mostly everyone. He still spoke to Jihoon often due to their musical ties, which by extension meant he was still in contact with Soonyoung, who never left his fiance's side. Other than that, Seungcheol only maintained regular contact with Jisoo, his very best friend. The only thing was that Jisoo never brought up Jeonghan unless Seungcheol asked (which he did so every year on his birthday, but reluctantly at that).

Jisoo never had the trouble of having to split his time between Jeonghan and Seungcheol because he left soon after their graduation to do his masters in his hometown and stayed there after. Jisoo had no problem keeping in contact via texts and calls with either of them.

"Ah, sorry Shua. I'm really busy with work. I don't know how much time I have," Seungcheol plays off regretfully. He knew he'd see his far away friend later on in the evening but Seungcheol wanted to have some fun.

"Oh," Joshua sighed, "I get it man. I should have told you sooner; sorry. I have some news to tell you, but I see Seokmin now so I'll tell you later or tomorrow."

"Bye Shua."

The call clicks to an end and Seungcheol finds himself face to face with his lock screen that only has one notification on it from an unknown number.

[unknown] hey, it's han. praying you gave me the right number, otherwise dick move. my address is [x] and you can come like at 6 or something. no need to bring anything.

Seungcheol's phone buzzes again and he's so glad he doesn't have his read receipts on.

[unknown] oh, and good morning cheol :)

Seungcheol takes a few minutes to reply, not wanting to seem to eager.

seungcheol i'd never give you a fake! thanks for the invite. let me know if you change your mind about me coming. shua called me just now and i rejected him offering to come to daegu so don't tell him i'm coming

seungcheol good morning jeonghan

jeonghan no smiley face for me? it's my birthday! :( but i won't tell shua. i guess i won't tell anybody and it can be a surprise. i'm sure they'll be happy to see you

seungcheol i'm sorry. happy birthday again jeonghan :)

seungcheol but why are you being so nice to me?

jeonghan don't interrogate me, it's my birthday !!

jeonghan can a man not be nice to his friend?

seungcheol are we friends?

jeonghan can a man not be nice to his *ex-boyfriend? hey, the word friend is there

seungcheol so is the word ex

jeonghan i miss you, that's why

seungcheol what are you expecting from me?

jeonghan all i'm expecting from you is to come to my party. that's all, seungcheol

jeonghan does it hurt to say you miss me too?

seungcheol kind of

--------

iii. no hard feelings

He's nervous. More nervous than the time he met Daegu's finest- Min Yoongi- and wrote a couple of verses with him. He's trembling on Jeonghan's doorstep, hyperaware of the noise coming from the other side of the door. It sounded like there were people there already.

While Jeonghan said to not bring anything, it was only the polite thing to turn up with at least some food, so he was gripping a bag containing an assortment of cakes. He was pretty sure his knuckles were white and stripped of blood supply.

After a few deep breaths and a mumbled pep talk to himself, Seungcheol mustered up the courage to knock at the door. His whole body tensed when the noise cut abruptly and someone was bounding towards the door.

"Seungcheol-hyung?" it was Chan that had opened the door, a look of perplexity overcoming his features. Jeonghan was bounding towards him worriedly, as if he had meant to grab the door first, "Seungcheol-hyung, what are you doing here?"

At the call of his name, many more footsteps came rushing at the door, uttering his name in confusion. Great, Seungcheol thought to himself, all 12 of them had arrived and he was the freak in a glass box.

"Ah, let me explain," Jeonghan sighed dejectedly as he pushed everyone back into the living room. Seungcheol didn't dare to look any of them in the eyes nor speak a single word.

Everyone fell back in their previous positions, though now with eyes trained on their long-lost friend. That was an exaggeration- Seungcheol said happy birthday to everyone every year and kept up small conversations over social media.

"Yeah, you better," Seungkwan piped up. Seungkwan had been the one to maintain some kind of coldness towards Seungcheol, being overprotective and emotional. Seungkwan highly disagreed with what Seungcheol did and he made that known to him.

"Is this why you rejected me coming to Daegu?" Joshua was the only one to approach Seungcheol and envelop him in a tight hug, "I missed you, man."

Seungcheol could only just say back the same thing before Jeonghan began explaining.

"We met at the bar last night. We were both with our coworkers. I told him to come so he could see you all again. No hard feelings," Jeonghan clapped decisively at their college friends.

"What about you, Hyung?" Mingyu directed at Jeonghan, "No hard feelings?"

Seungcheol froze up.

"It's been 3 years, Mingyu. Time heals all, so be nice to your hyung. I know you all miss him," Jeonghan stares pointedly around at the boys with sheepish faces, "I know you stop talking about him every time I walk into a room, so here's my present for you. On my birthday."

"Gosh, you're such an angel," Jihoon drawls from beside his fiance before grinning at his stoic friend, "Man, loosen up. We're still your friends."

Seungcheol sighs and his face couldn't help but transform into a grin. Jeonghan took the bag from his fingertips with a whispered thank you, before disappearing into a foreign room.

"This is crazy," Seokmin utters, "I did not expect this."

Joshua has an arm around Seungcheol's shoulders and leads him to a space on one of the two couches between Minghao and Hansol. Thank God for Jisoo because Seungcheol doesn't know if he can trust his legs.

He was nervous, but he couldn't pinpoint exactly why. He had known his friends for years, some since college and some before. No one seemed like they actually hated him and no one was jumping on him beating him bloody and bruised. So it was good on that front.

But he was in Jeonghan's apartment. On Jeonghan's birthday. On Jeonghan's couch.

What did that mean?

"Are you back in Seoul for good, Hyung?" Minghao asks, perched on a dining room chair while swirling his usual red wine in a glass.

"Yeah, I got a promotion. They relocated me to their Seoul headquarters," Seungcheol explains.

"Then why didn't you tell any of us?" Junhui frowns.

"I don't know," he shrugs, "Was scared."

Seungcheol's breath hitches when Jeonghan returns to the room with the cakes he brought now laid on two plates that he sets on the coffee table. Seungcheol looks around. It was spacious and definitely much nicer than the apartment they had shared back in the day.

"Nice, huh?" Wonwoo claps Seungcheol's back as he walks past, "Jeonghan-hyung is rich now."

"I'm not," Jeonghan scolds with a faint smirk, before looking over at Seungcheol, "I worked hard for this. I worked a lot since I had nothing else preoccupying my time."

Ouch, that felt like a dig.

"Ah well, congrats Jeonghan," Seungcheol says politely. Jeonghan settles himself on the arm of the other loveseat that Soonyoung and Jihoon were occupying.

A silence falls upon them and Seungcheol cringes internally. Maybe it really wasn't the best idea to come.

Chan clears his throat before looking around and assessing the atmosphere, "So, drinks?"

There was a collective sigh of relief.

------

iv. these chickens won't pay for themselves

Seungcheol doesn't see Jeonghan for a while after the party. It takes a few weeks in fact for the two to reunite. The party had passed by quickly and went the same as always: Mingyu would get drunk the fastest despite his huge stature and Wonwoo would drag him out first (of course, accompanied with screaming, kicking, crying and whining from the giant), Soonyoung would get drunk next and would begin making out with Jihoon who would roll his eyes but secretly enjoy it, Seokmin and Seungkwan would load up the karaoke machine before they even got tipsy and sing from their hearts until they got a noise complaint and Jeonghan- well, Jeonghan would get drunk and cry.

That was when it got awkward.

At Jeonghan's first sniffle and wobble of the lip, Joshua had dragged him out into the square kitchen with an unreadable glance.

"Oh, you know that news I had to tell you?" Joshua began, "Well, I feel like I should tell you now, but I'm moving back to Seoul too!"

A grin became of Seungcheol's face as he hugged his best friend, "Oh my God? How come?"

"Well after two years of working in that drab company," Joshua rolls his eyes, "I found a job here! I'm basically here this week to meet with the company and sort some things out, then I'll be back two weeks after I leave! Isn't this great? All of us in the same city again?"

"Yeah," Seungcheol breaths, "No, yeah, it's great. Feels just like the old times."

A pitchy yell/son cuts through the apartment.

"Speaking of the old times," Joshua began, "I think it's best for you to go home. I don't trust Han in this state."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you know how Jeonghan cries when he's drunk. His topic back in university used to be his stress from schoolwork and his family, but the boys have told me that now, he cries a-"

"He cries about me?" a pang shoots to Seungcheol's heart.

"When he's drunk," Joshua adds, "So I think you should go home in case he says anything he doesn't want you to hear. We can take care of him."

It was useless to protest. There was no reason for him to stay anyway, so he quickly left without saying goodbye to the boys in the living room in fear of being around Jeonghan, who was sprawled out on the floor like a starfish, for too long.

Anyway, the next time he sees Jeonghan was at the supermarket which apparently was a good distance between both Jeonghan and Seungcheol's apartments.

Again, Seungcheol spots Jeonghan first in the dairy aisle, looking at all the different types of cheeses. Seungcheol smiles to himself briefly, remembering the younger's affection for cheese despite being lactose intolerant.

He debates whether to call out for him or not, but figures it doesn't hurt to, "Old habits die hard, huh?"

An adorable yelp comes out of Jeonghan's mouth as he jumps in surprise, but relaxes and then stiffens when he sees Seungcheol, "Oh it's you. Hi Seungcheol. What are you doing here?"

Seungcheol motioned over to his half-full cart, "Grocery shopping. You come here often?"

Wow, Seungcheol. So smooth. As if that wasn't the most overused line in the history of all conversation starters.

"I usually shop on Friday nights but I had a day off today," Jeonghan says while placing a packet of mozzarella into his cart, "Jisoo told me you're picking him up at the airport in a few days."

"Oh, yeah. He was going to get Seokmin to pick him up but I offered. Should have just let them do their thing."

Jeonghan scoffs fondly, "After 6 years, they're still as oblivious as ever."

Seungcheol smiles, "Yeah. Yeah, they are."

Jeonghan stares down awkwardly at his shopping cart and Seungcheol knew it was time to exit the conversation.

"Well, I should go. These uh, chickens, won't pay for themselves," Seungcheol flushes awkwardly, avoiding Jeonghan's eyes before moving away. God, he was such a mess around Jeonghan, even now.

He moves out of the aisle without looking at his former lover again and reaches the drinks aisle before he stops and scolds himself in his mind for being such a disaster.

Back in the dairy aisle, Jeonghan smiles to himself.

-----

v. it's like a quadruple date!

It takes another 2 weeks for their paths to cross again. Even though they have each other's numbers on their phones, neither dared to reach out again after the initial conversation on Jeonghan's birthday.

This time, they were the first ones to arrive at the restaurant where they were having a group dinner.

Seungcheol had waited in his car for a little bit when he checked the time and it was still 5 minutes until their reservation time. Not everyone was coming, as far as he knew, but he knew Jisoo, Seokmin, Jihoon and Soonyoung to come at the very least. If everyone maintained the same traits since college, then at least 80% of them would be late and Seungcheol knew this, but as soon as the digital numbers on his dashboard turned 7, he couldn't help but to head inside and wait at the table.

It was 7:05 by the time Jeonghan arrived, hair perfectly fluffy and his outfit baggy as always. It took 3 blinks from Seungcheol to realise Jeonghan was wearing a hoodie that Seungcheol had been looking for for 3 years. He decided against saying anything about it.

"Oh, I didn't know you were coming," Jeonghan said casually, sliding into the booth around the circular table.

Seungcheol gulped, "I didn't know you were coming either. Is this a problem?"

"No," Jeonghan said quite quickly, "No it isn't. I just didn't know."

A silence fell quickly between them and Jeonghan busied himself with the menu. Seungcheol visibly deflated at this action. They had been coming to the restaurant since the start of their college days and Jeonghan for the duration of those 4 years had gotten the same exact dish each and every time; Seungcheol found it hard to believe he'd had a change of heart.

"What, you don't get your spaghetti anymore?" Seungcheol attempted to tease, but his tone came out more accusing.

"I'm surprised you remember," Jeonghan placed the menu down softly, turning his face to meet Seungcheol's eyes. That made him nervous.

Before he could reply with something like, 'I remember everything about you', Jisoo and Seokmin came bounding over to the table giggling together in their own little world.

"Oh! You two are here," Seokmin smirked, "Did you come together?"

Jeonghan vehemently shook his head, "No, no. Seungcheol came first. I just got here."

Jisoo matched his companion's expression, "Sure, okay."

"Why don't we talk about why you two came together?" Seungcheol fired in defence, eager to take the attention away from them.

"Jisoo-hyung doesn't have his car yet, so I picked him up," Seokmin said as if it were the most obvious statement in the world.

As if it were like the old times, Seungcheol and Jeonghan sent each other an amused and unconvinced look before realising what they had done and quickly looked away.

Eventually, Jihoon and Soonyoung turned up and increased the distance between Seungcheol and Jeonghan and distracted the table with more updates about their wedding plans. Apparently, they had decided on a mocha cake for the middle tier of their 3 tiered cake and that Soonyoung had found his tuxedo.

"It's still a year away," Jihoon mumbled every time Soonyoung had a lightbulb moment of more updates he had to tell the group, but everyone knew that Jihoon was just as excited as his fiance to finally get married after years and years.

15 minutes in, Seungcheol was surprised to see Mingyu and Wonwoo come hand in hand walking with no care towards the table.

"We've already ordered," Joshua laughed. Those two were always the most late and that was only down to Mingyu and Mingyu only. He got distracted easily.

Mingyu took a seat next to Seungcheol and looked around before his face lit up and he delivered his next sentence in the most oblivious and innocent manner, "Oh my God! It's like a quadruple date!"

Jeonghan almost launched himself across the table to strangle the tall man.

-

vi. strawberry soju

Eventually, New Year's Eve comes around and Seungcheol feels like he's been in the city for years. He's truly settled into his job and he'd regained the same relationship with his friends. Sure, there was a large part missing, but even having Jeonghan in close proximity just by being in the same friendship group was enough.

Because they were all adults with full-time jobs and responsibilities, they weren't up to their same college antics of partying and getting all sweaty and drunk in a random house. Of course, they were all down to go to the club, but by general consensus, they decided on just a simple gathering at someone's house with chicken and beer.

It was at Jihoon and Soonyoung's house, which was where most gatherings were since everyone lived in apartments and the house was the place where they were least likely to get a noise complaint. Plus they always had a stocked drinks fridge.

Everyone had been there for a while, enjoying each other's company and getting slightly buzzed on beer and satiated with endless chicken. The karaoke had been set up again, but Junhui and Minghao had found the Chinese ballads section and were slumped on the couch on the verge of tears singing their hearts out. While everyone found their source of amusement in this, the two Chinese devils had found their source by next forcing everyone to tackle a Chinese song.

Seungcheol was curled up with a beer can next to Chan, who was babbling away happily about the new class he was teaching at Soonyoung's dance studio and how the kids were so talented. Seungcheol adored Chan's company, but eventually, Seungcheol excused himself to the toilet.

"It's down that corridor on the right," Jihoon pointed out.

"But hurry back!" Joshua called after him, "It's midnight in 2 minutes and we're counting down!"

It was always their favourite thing to do to count down as a group and it ended with everyone taking a shot together before turning to their partners.

Seungcheol rushed down the hallway that took him out of sight from the party in the living room and he quickly did his business and exited, but not before giving his face a quick splash with cold water to focus himself. He had been distracted all night by the sneaky glances that Jeonghan had been giving him. He kept catching the blonde's eye while in mid-conversation with someone else, and each time their eyes met, Seungcheol's heart would beat faster and faster.

"Oh shit!" Seungcheol yelled as he exited.

Jeonghan was leaning up against the wall outside the toilet, arms folded and a leg propping himself up. It was dark in the corridor as Seungcheol hadn't been bothered to turn on the lights, thinking his escapade to the bathroom to be a short and energy-saving one. The only light illuminating Jeonghan's angular features was the bathroom light that Seungcheol was about to switch off, but dimmed as the door shut behind him a smidge. He should turn that light off after, he thought to himself, but for now, he let it brighten the hallway.

"Do you need the toilet too?" Seungcheol offered awkwardly to the other boy.

"No," Jeonghan merely shook his head.

"Were you looking for me?"

Jeonghan shrugged, "I guess so."

"How come?"

"Why don't you text me?"

Seungcheol was taken aback by his directness and found it hard to string together the words to reply, "Uh, I'm sorry? I didn't know if you were open to that."

"Do you not want me anymore?" It was definitely the alcohol talking. Jeonghan was very honest when it got into his system.

"Jeonghan-ah," Seungcheol trailed off before being interrupted harshly.

"It's a yes or no question, Seungcheol."

Well, this was not how he pictured his New Years' Eve going. Seungcheol swallowed hard before letting the words fall out of his mouth, "I do, Han. But we're not together anymore. I broke your heart and I didn't come back for 3 years. It's not that simple."

"You were a coward," Jeonghan half-spat, "You didn't call or text or give me a chance to beg. Cause I would have, Seungcheol. I would have begged. I would have moved to Daegu and tried to fix our relationship if you even slightly implied it. I would have told you that I wish you took me with you."

Seungcheol flinched at the harsh words, but he knew them to be the truth, "I know. I was a coward. I thought our relationship had hit a dead end and I thought that you didn't want anything to do with me anymore. I thought I was giving you an out."

"You were giving yourself an out," Jeonghan snarked back, before his features melted, "But I'm asking you if you want to try again. Cause I'm here now and you're here and we're still single and no one I meet has ever lived up to you-"

"5! 4!"

The collective counting from the boys filtered into the dark hallway. Jeonghan's eyes were boring into Seungcheol's soul.

There were no words to describe Seungcheol's spinning head. He was elated, ecstatic, happy, but at the same time so confused.

"It's not so simple, Han," he repeated, "We need to properly talk about what happened."

"3! 2!"

"I still love you."

"1!"

Seungcheol blinked once and suddenly he felt hands gripping his shirt and pulling him close, and he tasted strawberry soju on his tongue. The familiar taste took him straight back to college and all he could remember was lovingly wrestling a blond boy against every surface to exist and when their lips would meet after whispered endearments and happy laughter, Seungcheol would taste strawberry soju.

Jeonghan's lips on his were hesitant as if waiting to be invited in. Seungcheol found his arm snaking around the slim waist of his once lover as he deepened their kiss and savoured in the familiarity of Jeonghan's kiss.

The noise of cheering cut through the silence and Jeonghan and Seungcheol pulled away and occupied the hallway with their laboured breaths.

Seungcheol was confused as to why he felt so conflicted. There Jeonghan was, asking for another chance when it was him that had his heart broken. It was Seungcheol who had left him regretfully, but it pained him to think Jeonghan was the one to say that he still loved him. How could Jeonghan love a man who broke his heart?

Seungcheol could only do one thing. He fled.

-

vii. i hate you

3 AM a few days later, Seungcheol was awoken from his deep slumber by the sound of his ringtone filling his dark room. He had initially thought it was his alarm waking him for another long day at work, but a quick glance out to the sky told him it was still nighttime, or at least the early hours of the morning.

Seungcheol picked up without even reading the name of the caller, "Hello?"

"Oh my God, Hyung! Thank God you picked up! Sorry to wake you up."

Seungkwan's distressed voice filled his ears and Seungcheol frowned, "Kwannie? Is everything okay? Do you need me?"

"Yeah, but it's kind of a difficult situation," Seungkwan began, "You know how me and Jeonghan, Jun, Hao, Hansol and Chan went out clubbing tonight?"

"Yes, on a Sunday night. I remember," Seungcheol almost chuckled to himself before remembering the panic that Seungkwan was speaking with, "Why? Is everyone okay?"

"Well, Jeonghan-hyung is crying," Seungkwan deadpanned, and for effect, directed the microphone over to a familiar wailing.

"You know he does that. Just stroke his hair and let him cuddle you. He'll fall asleep or throw up eventually," he recalled easily. He'd had enough practice to forget how to take care of drunk Jeonghan.

"We tried, hyung," it seemed as if Hansol had snatched the phone from Seungkwan, "But Jeonghan-hyung keeps crying and he says he wants to see you and he literally refuses to get up off the floor. He always cries about you, but he got really drunk tonight. He's been saying something about you running away and he won't stop crying. We got kicked out of the club."

Seungcheol's heart dropped, "Oh. Do you want me to come pick him up? I don't know how happy he'll be in the morning but I guess if he's asking for me... Anyway, I'll come now. Text me your address. Is everyone okay?"

"We all pretty much sobered up from it," Hansol sighed, "Thanks, Hyung. Please come quickly."

Seungcheol only threw on a hoodie and joggers and ran out of his apartment in his slides, heart beating and adrenaline pumping. Thankfully, they weren't too far away from his apartment and the roads were mostly empty. Sure, he may have broken a few speed limits, but his Jeonghan was on the floor crying for him.

He pulled up near the group on the kerb and quickly got out to assess the situation. Jeonghan was still on the floor cross-legged, leaning on Junhui's legs while Minghao paced in front and Chan was trying to comfort the poor man.

"Hyung!" Seungkwan called out, tone laced with relief, "Thanks for coming. We really couldn't help this time."

Seungcheol's eyes softened at the boy on the floor who was sobbing into his sweater paws. Seungcheol bent down and reached eye level with Jeonghan, "Hannie, I'm gonna need you to get off the floor."

Jeonghan's eyes snapped forwards to him,m and it seemed that at that moment, anger coursed through him. Jeonghan started pounding with his fists on Seungcheol's chest and thankfully, he was drunk so they didn't really hurt physically. His state, though- that hurt Seungcheol to see him cry like that.

"What are you doing here?" Jeonghan cried out, "I hate you! You always fucking leave!"

Tears welled up in Seungcheol's eyes as he wrapped his arms around the boy, encouraging him to stand up. Seungcheol didn't dare to meet the eyes of his friends who were definitely staring in shock at the scene playing out in front of them.

"I know Han. I know. I'm sorry for leaving and for running away," Seungcheol cooed. He had managed to wrestle the boy into standing, but his arms were still wrapped around Jeonghan, "Come on, Han. Let's get you home."

"I hate you," Jeonghan kept repeating. His beatings on Seungcheol's chest were reduced to taps as Jeonghan's cries faded down slightly. That was definitely progress, "I hate you so much."

"Do you know where he lives?" Minghao came up behind Seungcheol, "His keys are in his pocket."

"I got him, guys. Thanks for trying. Get home safe," Seungcheol murmured to his friends. Jeonghan was thrashing in his arms, but Seungcheol refused to let go, "Can someone open my passenger door?"

Junhui quickly opened the door and Seungcheol scooped up Jeonghan into a bridal style position in order to place him inside the car. It was definitely easier said than done because Jeonghan was very drunk and still crying a lot, but he managed to get it done with the help of Hansol who made sure Jeonghan's head didn't bump into the top of the car.

Seungcheol eventually got into the driver's seat after waving his friends away and sighed at the man who was still claiming to hate him. He put Jeonghan through a lot of pain and this was one of his first manifestations of it in front of Seungcheol. Jeonghan had always acted so indifferent and eager to get back together.

He reached over to secure the seatbelt over Jeonghan and quickly drove to his apartment. After a few more law breaks, they made it in one piece and Seungcheol was dragging a still crying Jeonghan into an elevator and encouraging him to take out his keys. In the middle of his babbles, he complied and dropped them onto the ground, but at least Seungcheol could open his apartment.

Jeonghan's cries echoed even louder in his apartment and it took 3 doors for Seungcheol to find his bedroom. As he expected, there was a glass of water and some hangover pills on the nightstand already. Jeonghan always prepared in the same way before a night out because he knew how he'd get. In the earlier years of their relationship in college, Seungcheol had been the one to prepare the water and medicine on the nightstand for Jeonghan, until Jeonghan himself caught on and began doing it for himself.

"Hannie," Seungcheol cooed again, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for hurting you."

"I love you so much, Choi Seungcheol," Jeonghan had cried out, "And I hate you for that. I was doing better and you came back and ruined it all."

Seungcheol managed to force a few gulps of water into Jeonghan's system and to take off Jeonghan's shoes and socks and he wrestled the drunk man into the bed. He turned on the fan as Jeonghan was fully clothed and was bound to get hot during his slumber, but Seungcheol was in no position to strip him.

"I know Han. I'm sorry. You need to sleep. Please get some rest."

Jeonghan's cries turned into whimpers as he buried himself into his sheets, "I love you, Cheol. Please stay."

Seungcheol sighed deeply as he pushed back Jeonghan's damp hair and placed a kiss on his forehead, "I'm not leaving again, Hannie."

"No, tonight," Jeonghan mumbled, "Please stay with me."

Seungcheol hummed, running his fingers through Jeonghan's hair repeatedly as he knew that to be the best way to coax him into sleep. He was perched on the edge of Jeonghan's bed, and as Jeonghan stopped moving around, Seungcheol was able to look around the room.

It was pretty plain. A bed in the centre, a desk with his gaming setup, a wardrobe in the corner and two nightstands on either side of the bed.

Seungcheol's eyes focused on a picture frame behind the water and when he processed the image, he felt tears gather on his lash line, ready to fall at the next blink.

It was a picture from their graduation day in their robes. Jisoo was grinning in the middle with an arm wrapped around both of his best friends. Jeonghan was on the left, a bouquet of flowers in his hands, but he was in mid-laugh, facing to the right where Seungcheol was grinning back at him affectionately.

It was the photo that Seungcheol and Jeonghan had displayed in the living room of their shared apartment, but Seungcheol hadn't realised that Jeonghan had kept it, let alone keep it on his nightstand. Had he had it up all these years.

He was snapped out of his daze by Jeonghan's snoring and realised he was crying.

-

viii. give me a chance

Jeonghan woke up with the worst headache he had endured in years. The blinding light from the window had directed itself into his eyes and no matter how exhausted he was, he was forced to wake up. He found himself still in last night's clothes, sans his shoes, but the fan was on and the glass was only half full.

Jeonghan looked to the other side of the bed. Empty, as always. Jeonghan quickly swallowed the tablet he had laid out for his hangover and downed the water, before groaning loudly at his antics. He could not believe how much he cried. Seungcheol had picked him up, right? God, he said so many embarrassing things, but they were all fuzzy in his mind.

"Jeonghan? Are you okay? I heard noises," Seungcheol burst into the room, causing Jeonghan to yell in surprise.

"Oh my God! What are you doing here?" Jeonghan screeched, covering himself with his duvet even though he was fully clothed.

"You asked me to stay!" Seungcheol defended, "I slept on the couch though!"

"Oh," was all Jeonghan could muster. Seungcheol had always been considerate of him in his drunk state.

"Anyway, I made breakfast," Seungcheol said sheepishly, "Sorry if you mind me going through your fridge."

"It's okay. Thank you," Jeonghan sighed, standing up and putting his slippers on, "Can I just change and wash up?"

Seungcheol nodded innocently before leaving the room and returning to the kitchen to attend to the eggs that were now a little over well done. Eventually, Jeonghan returned in pyjamas and dripping hair. He was always fast at showering and changing.

"How are you feeling?" Seungcheol placed a bowl of steaming rice in front of him as he sat down.

"Worst hangover of the century. I can't believe everyone let me get that drunk," Jeonghan scolded himself internally, "But thank you for getting me and taking care of me."

"No problem, Han. Anything for you."

Jeonghan tried to hide his blush as he looked at the clock, "Isn't it Monday? Don't you have work?"

"Yeah, but I called in sick," Seungcheol began, "I wanted to wait for you to get up so we can talk."

"Talk," Jeonghan breathed out, "Yeah, I guess we should."

"I just want to apologise," Seungcheol said, "For running out on you on New Year's Eve. I'm just so torn."

"That was a dick move. Again," Jeonghan uttered, "Why did you? Why are you torn?"

"You still love me, Han. You deserve so much better than someone who broke your heart," Seungcheol exclaimed.

"Isn't that for me to decide?" Jeonghan snapped back, shoving a mound of rice and egg into his mouth, "If you don't love me, just tell me. I hate this dancing around that we're doing with each other."

Seungcheol stammered, "I- It's always you Han. It'll only ever be you. I don't want to leave you again, but I want you to be sure of it."

Jeonghan scoffed and rolled his eyes, "Seungcheol, I'm the only one here that's been trying to get us back together. I'm the one that's putting my pain behind me and telling you that I still love you. Which of my actions say that I'm not sure?"

"I don't know," Seungcheol felt small, "I guess I'm being stupid. I just hate myself so much for leaving you that-"

"That you think you don't deserve me anymore?" Jeonghan finished, "Well maybe you don't. But we were together for over 4 years. We weren't fighting at the end because we didn't love each other; life just got hard and we weren't leaning on each other. All these years I've tried to move on, but I just couldn't stop loving you no matter how hard I tried and no matter how much you hurt me. I need you, Seungcheol. Just for once, consider how I feel and give me a chance."

"You're a better person than I'll ever be, Yoon Jeonghan," Seungcheol breathed out, staring at the man in front of him with something akin to adoration. For all the terrible things he had done, he was rewarded with such great things.

"I know I am, so come here and kiss me lifeless."

-

ix. shotgun

"What?" Seungcheol yelled into his phone, "You're doing what?"

"You hear me, Choi Seungcheol," Soonyoung giggled from the other end of the line, "Now get your ass over to the address in your best suit. You have an hour. And I assume you can tell Yoon Jeonghan too."

And with a click, the line dropped.

"Baby?" Jeonghan's figure entered the bedroom, "What's happening? I heard you scream."

Seungcheol looked up at his 2 month lover in amusement, "It was Soonyoung on the phone. I can't believe what he's doing."

"Is he going on another trip around Asia to see tigers again? Ah, can you even believe he's an adult?"

"No," Seungcheol wheezed out, "He's demanding we get to the courthouse within an hour in our suits."

"What?" Jeonghan's eyes widened, "Why?"

"They're having a shotgut wedding," Seungcheol grinned, "Soonyoung said they just can't wait 8 more months to actually get married so they're signing the papers today. Come on, Han. Let's get ready."

"Those crazy idiots," Jeonghan laughed, "It was Jihoon's idea, wasn't it?"

Seungcheol joined in with his lover's laughter as he wrapped his arm around the other and peppered kissed all over him, "Of course it was. Jihoon is so whipped for Soonie. Hey, maybe we should do something like that too."

Jeonghan rolled his eyes playfully as he untangled himself from Seungcheol's grip, "Slow your roll. We've only been dating 2 months."

Seungcheol's eyes brightened as he took Jeonghan's face into his hands and planted a passionate kiss on his lips, "But I've been in love with you for 9 years. A lot longer than Jihoon and Soonyoung."

It was true. They had met when Seungcheol transferred from Daegu to Jeonghan's school at the start of their junior year. Jeonghan had been tasked to show him around and to this day, Seungcheol claims it was love at first sight on the skinny boy with shoulder length brown hair. They had been inseparable all through high school, and Seungcheol followed Jeonghan into college and confessed on the third night that they moved out.

"Put a ring on my finger and maybe I'll consider it," Jeonghan smirked and pushed him away, "I'm gonna go to my apartment and change into a suit, so I'll meet you there?"

Seungcheol nodded, and Jeonghan connected their lips sweetly, "I'll see you later, Hannie. I love you."

"I love you too! I'm so excited to see you in your suit!"

Jeonghan let the bedroom door click shut behind him, leaving Seungcheol sitting on his bed in some kind of a daze. His best friends were getting married! They were having a shotgun wedding! They were crazy like that, he thought to himself.

Eventually, his mind and eyes wandered to the drawer in front of his bed that held his TV. In the third drawer, underneath his sleep shirts, he had buried a small and square velvet box that he had purchased impulsively at the end of his senior year. The ring that sat inside wasn't so expensive actually, but Jeonghan had pointed it out one day when they were walking hand in hand in the shopping centre. It had been on sale and maybe it was stupid of Seungcheol to dip into his savings and buy a ring, but he did.

Seungcheol knew that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Jeonghan then, and he shared the sentiment now. He knew that if he got down on one knee, Jeonghan would say yes. He knew that if he seriously suggested following in Jihoon and Soonyoung's footsteps and saying fuck it to everything, Jeonghan would say yes. They were each other's everything- each other's soulmates.

He snapped himself out of imagining what married life would be like with Jeonghan and rushed over to his wardrobe to pick out his best suit.

Soon, Seungcheol thought to himself, soon.

[kkusuka]

NEKOMA GANGBANG PLEASE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nekoma<3

Fem! Reader

Gangbang Msterlist!

Honestly, you joined as a manager because you needed an extracurricular to put on your resume

Managing a boy sports team was the perfect thing to do, it was a great idea!

In the moment

Originally your understanding of the volleyball team was that they were a bunch of guys who got together after classes and hit a ball over a net for three hours

And it took you a whole of five minutes to realize that you were wrong

They were passionate about what they were doing, they really loved playing volleyball, poured their all into the game

And eventually, their passion carried over to you, slowly you began to love the game just as much as they did

You really got into it too, making theme lunches, coming early to set everything up so they don't have to, taking them out for food after a loss

And they met your energy tenfold

Little snacks here and there, help with homework, cleaning all of the equipment so you don't have to stay later than you should

But that didn't stop them from going all out sometimes.

You should’ve known what white day had in store for you, gifts upon gifts you had to get more bags just to hold some of the things you got

It was clear how they felt about you; you were theirs and theirs alone

It was obvious in how Kuroo would be the only person who could sit next to you in class, and how Yaku would talk to you the entire lunch period like he’d never speak to you again

Lev and Inuoka’s constant rambling about anything in their line of sight

Yamamoto practically worshiping the ground you walk on

Or how Kenma’s head would find its way into your lap every class break and wouldn't let you go until you were almost late

You were the perfect manager

You made sure they were always doing their best and made sure that they were always feeling their best

So when some of them began to talk about how on edge they were because of blue balls, you really did feel bad

That was such an odd thing to not be performing at their best for

And it sounded kinda painful :(

So you offered your services!

It was your responsibility to make sure they are all doing well and you didn't mind being a cum-dump for them, it was the least you could do for them

Lev and Yaku go first. It is mostly because Lev is the most persistent and no one wants to kill the mood by telling him off, even Kenma. He takes your pussy, no question. Lev may not be thick, but he is by far the longest on the team. He would take a boobjob but he’d rather take a hole and since he’s first, his job is to stretch you out for the people to come. So he leans against something and lets you straddle his waist, taking him into your cunt and normally grinds into you, letting your clit hot his base.

“You look so small on my cock, конфетка (sweetie/candy)”

“You have such a tung little pussy, it feels so nice around me.”

Yaku joins Lev to try and settle him down. He’s a third year so he has to keep the first years form don’t something stupid. Of course, he just gets riled up and ends up trying to overpower him. And it’s in a few ways, either he takes your ass, but mostly he shoves his way into your already stuffed pussy. And thank god Lev isn’t girthy because Yaku specializes in that department. Then when Yaku speeds up, Lev has to go harder and a vicious circle ensues.

“Fucking move Lev, or just let me do it if you can’t.”

“Good little girl, taking two cocks in her cunt like a good whore.”

And that’s where Kai steps in. He's never very drastic with his methods, but when the two idiots are going at it, he politely steps in and grounds them back to earth. He stays for moral support, taking your mouth so he can rub away your tears and remind you how amazing you are. He let you bob all over his dick at whatever pace you want, all as long as he gets to shoot his load in your pretty mouth.

“Atta baby ignore them, you’re doing amazing. Pretty little thing you are.”

Following those three, Inuoka and Shibayama step in. it is not like Lev who just wanted to get it over with, it is more like a last grace before some of the more… rough guys take their turn. They go for a more simple split roast, Shibayama in your mouth where Inuoka inhabits your pussy. Neither of them are rough, they practically treat you like glass, caressing every part of your body, making you comfortable between them. They take their time, much to Yamamoto’s dismay, making sure you cum at least twice with them, they live to please their pretty little manager.

“You’re so good for us”

“We’ll do all the work, you just sit back and feel nice baby.”

The dutiful second years take their palace in record time when their underclassmen have finished. Yamamoto takes the lead, sitting you on his lap while he commands Fukunaga to your ass. They also mark you up the most, the position they have you in gives them great access to your neck and boobs. You're practically left bruised for days. The boys don’t really let you move, Yamamoto holds you up so they can thrust up in your holes. Fukunaga is more silent, he shows how he feels with a mouth on your neck and his hand on your clit. Yamamoto is far more vocal, whether it be praise or reminding you that you’re a hole for him to blow his load into.

“So, so pretty for us, gonna mark you up real nice, right?”

“God, fuck, I wish I could have you bouncing on my dick all the time.”

Then when you’re all fucked out, Kuroo scoops you into his arms like prince charming.  Kenma would lay on his back and ley Kuroo pressed you onto him, snuggling his face into your breasts. They love to share a hole, gotta go out with a bang y’know!

Kuroo slides into you first, Kenma’s busy worshiping your nipples so he takes matters into his own hands for some time. He’ll fuck you a little bit, get you nice, stretched, and ready for when Kenma wants a piece of your cunt too. Honestly, Kuroo does most of the work, you only really need him to anyway. He fucks into you that pushes you along kenma’s cock, pushes you further into his face. Kenma does pay far more attention to your clit than his best friend. One thing is that they never talk to you, only ever speaking to each other while they fuck you with abandon.

“You feel that? Ken, I think kitten’s cumming again! What is that five?”

“We should’ve done this sooner, who knew she would be such a willing slut for us.”

They do buy you hell gifts after this though

tags: @bakugos-cumsock

[fategranddisorder]

Tell me when you are sober (Merlin) -request-

Warnings/tags: Alcohol

Servants aren't supposed to get drunk. Servants can not get drunk yet here you are with the resident Clown, erm Grand Caster, face down on the bar with Moriarty looking a tad too smug.

"Moriarty.."

"Ah Master! Right on time! It would seem that Merlin was a bit overzealous tonight and -"

"Moriarty."

"You see, Paracelsus made this wonderful concoction-"

"Archer"

"Anyway, my old back can't handle to assist him back to his ro- you wouldn't hit an old man, Master? A no, wait!"

After a well aimed cocktail shaker to Moriarty's face you sling one of Merlin arms over your shoulders and unceremoniously drag him off the bar stool.

"Oh? Hmmm~ Master I am so glad you came for me."

Merlin almost purrs out before in the same breath trying to dump the contents of his stomach on the floor.

You sigh, this was going to be a long trip back.

The location and temperature of the resort Singularity doing nothing for the sweat clinging to your skin. Not to mention Merlin resting most of his body weight on you. 

You are strong, heck your strength and combat prowess is made out of pure will, sometimes spite, is terrifying.

But after a long day of questing you just wanted to have one drink and head to bed.

"Master~"

The large man that is currently draped over your body sugglishly tries and epically fails to stand on his own. However before Merlin's face could hit the marble floor of the resort you manage to catch him.

Well..

You huff as the Caster drags you down to the floor with him. And that bastard has the nerve to chuckle.

"Hmm you are so soft and warm Master ♡, give me some mana so I can feel better."

"No, suffer through this"

You feel the man pout as he nuzzles his face against your bare neck. But you shut his heavy petting down as you haul his dumbass upright again.

The vertigo causes Merlin to whine, rather pathetically, but you ignore it in favor of dragging him towards the elevator. As you enter the small space you quickly prop yourself against the cool wall of the elevator and hit the number of the appropriate floor with a little more force than necessary.

Merlin chuckles and his arms slither around your waist, his cheek resting against the crown of your head, cornering you against the wall. 

"You are so strong Master, I always knew you would become this strong" Merlin compliments you and you only hum in acknowledgement, your mind lingering at the last part of his statement. But you quickly chalk it up to drunken ramblings as the next words out of his mouth are how your hair is soft like cotton candy.

Affectionate drunks are the worst. That is the only thought in your mind as you finally manage to dump Merlin face first on his bed. 

The cool sheets make the Caster chuckle as he wiggles himself on his side, opening his eyes to look at you. The annoyed look on your face isn't lost on him, even in his intoxicated state.

He should make it up to you, for this, for always putting up with him. For always accepting the wall he put up.

He wants to, he wants to feel and love like you do. Feel the burn, ache, warmth and coldness that come with bonds. Like he always saw you do when he observed you when he was still stuck in his tower.

Maybe it is the concoction that Paracelsus cooked up. But as he gazes up at you, Merlin it feels like that world is just within his reach.

With a lopsided grin Merlin reaches out for you, his fingers making a grabbing motion for your wrist that seems just out of his reach and the Caster frowns ever so slightly.

You, however, chalk that frown up to the nausea the Caster is feeling and not the current existential crisis he is currently facing.

"Come join me"

You blink and take a second to consider the request of the Caster, honestly your tired body wants nothing more to be wrapped in his warm embrace. Plus your own room is just too far away.

Your reaction apparently takes too long as Merlin finally manage to grab your wrist and with little to no effort tugs you into bed with him.

For a brief moment you struggle a bit, you are still dressed, he still dressed. And Merlin didn't even bother to go under covers.

Not to mention forgetting to brush your teeth and -

"When everything is done, join me in Avalon."

You freeze. Your hands, once pressed flat against his chest to push him away, clench. Crumpling the fabric of his pretty shirt. Your head coming to rest on the crook of his neck.

He can’t say things like that, he can't offer you things like that when he is so drunk.

Merlin can feel your emotions kicking up a storm as his own do the same. A fluttering feeling starts in his gut, expanding to the tips of his fingers as he thinks about what your answer could be.

To calm himself, even a little, he hums as he presses a kiss to the crown of your head. Merlin smiles, he feels. Just for you.

"Hmm what is a man to do with a Master like you, hm?"

Merlin knows the feeling, the feeling he had when he decided to join Chaldea on a whim. Made possible only by a paradox that allows him to set foot outside his tower.

Yet, when all ends, when you save the world and save humanity. He would have to return to nothing.

"Stay here tonight"

Normally you aren't over happy to share a bed with someone who is a bit too intoxicated. Yet there is something in his voice, that is so human and unlike Merlin that makes you nod your head in silent agreement to his request.

Merlin's eyes widen before he smiles and he holds you just a little bit tighter. The only human that made him cross the boundary of friendship and feelings of love.

[marauderundercover]

Taking Chances Ch. 12: Resting at Home (Alt Prompt: Baking)

AO3

Prev

Waking up at five in the morning, feeling like you’re surrounded is disorienting. Waking up with a sore throat and shooting pain in her shoulder was also disorienting. Until she remembered everything from the night before. Adrien was not going to be happy. He’d begged her to tell him if she ended up going on patrol with her father, wanting her to be safe. She didn’t tell him, and now she was certain he was going to be angry. Unless she could get back to the hotel before he woke up. But it was still unlikely that he wouldn’t know. Plagg was a tattle tale. Sighing, she carefully gets out of the bed, maneuvering around her brothers’ sleeping forms on the floor. Walking out of the room, she instantly feels anxious. Deciding a glass of water might calm her down, she heads towards the kitchen. 

“I believe you should be resting, Miss Marinette.” Alfred says, making her jump. She winces as her shoulder jostles, trying not to frown at the way Alfred’s lips purse. She knew he was worried. And she knew her family was going to be unbelievably overprotective for the next six months. Or maybe, six years. She’s not exactly sure how protective they actually are. 

“I was going to get a glass of water.” She says softly, pointing to her throat. “I was also feeling a little anxious.” 

“Very well. I was about to start the preparations for breakfast. If you promise to sit and refrain from straining yourself, you may come with.” He says. She grins, immediately falling into step with the man. 

“Could we bake something for everyone for breakfast?” She asks, glancing up at him. “It doesn’t have to be anything too difficult. I mean, I’d prefer to make croissants the first time I bake for them, but there’s not exactly time to do that for breakfast.” She rambles as they walk into the kitchen. Alfred immediately walks over to a cabinet and grabs a glass, filling it with water before handing it to her and raising an eyebrow. She smiles gratefully and sips on the water, relishing in the coolness on her throat. 

“I believe our agreement was that you would sit and refrain from straining yourself.” Alfred says, moving around the kitchen with ease. Marinette huffs but plops onto one of the stools. 

“It doesn’t have to be anything difficult! It could even be….muffins! Muffins are popular for breakfast here, right?” She suggests, flailing her arms, wincing as she does so. It was going to be annoying remembering that her injury was there this time around. There was no Miraculous Cure when her opponent was just a bad guy, not a Miraculous holder. 

“If I allow you to turn on the mixer and place the liners in the tin, will you be satisfied?” Alfred asks with a sigh. Marinette grins and nods. There’s comfortable silence as Alfred moves about the kitchen, measuring out the ingredients. 

“Alfred?” She finally asks, glancing at the man who only hums in acknowledgement. “Who is Slade?” She asks. He pauses, the measuring cup positioned over the bowl. He takes a deep breath and dumps the ingredient in before straightening even more. 

“He was part of the organization that Master Damian grew up in. He’s always hated both Master Bruce and Master Damian. And now, I imagine, you’re also on his list.” He says calmly, clearly looking at her for some type of reaction. 

“So now another villain is after my Miraculous? Joy.” She says sarcastically, pouting as she slumps in her seat. “I was kinda hoping he was just some random guy. Not a legitimate villain.” She adds. Alfred simply shakes his head, sliding the muffin tin and liners towards her. 

“I can assure you, Miss Marinette. Between your father and brothers, this man will not succeed in taking your Miraculous. Marinette frowns, hoping the man is right. 

---

Sitting straight up in bed, Damian tenses. This was not his bed. Blinking, he looks around the room and lets his shoulders relax slightly. He was in Dupain Cheng’s room, of course. She had been attacked last night- He pauses. He frowns as he looks at her pillows, no sight of her. Leaping over his brothers, he knocks on the door for the bathroom attached to her room. 

“Dupain Cheng?” He says lowly, frowning at the lack of a response. He pushes the door open. Empty. So she was missing. She could not have gotten far. And she had to have left of her own volition. No one could have made it past all of his siblings. Leaving the room, he decides his first course of action should be to ask Pennyworth. Judging by the time, he should be in the kitchen. Making his way into the kitchen (his technical ban should not be an issue since he was actively looking for Dupain Cheng), he pauses when he sees the girl he was looking for, slumped onto the island. 

“Ah, Master Damian. Breakfast should be ready soon. Would you care to fetch the rest of your siblings?” He asks. Damian frowns, glancing at Dupain Cheng. Was she okay? Should she really be up and running around after yesterday? She might be one of Paris’ heroes, but surely she wasn’t used to being stabbed?

“Very well.” He says, instead of arguing. He would just have to monitor Dupain Cheng from afar. After all, she did take a sword meant for him. 

---

Marinette sighs, pushing herself off the counter. She wasn’t sure how serious breakfast was for the family, but she certainly didn’t want to scare anyone with her bedhead. Hopping off the stool, she winces slightly. 

“Miss Marinette, I do wish you would refrain from jostling your wounds so much.” Alfred says, a small frown on his face. Mari grins awkwardly. 

“Sorry Alfred.” She apologizes before rushing back up the stairs. She glances into several open doors, suddenly wishing she’d counted earlier to know which was hers. She huffs, prepared to give up, when someone clears their throat. She whirls around, raising an eyebrow at Damian. 

“That room is yours.” He says simply, pointing at a door. “Everyone has vacated your room in order to get dressed in their own.” He adds, turning around and walking into a room. Well that’s new, she thinks, surprised that he’s still talking to her. Sure they talked briefly last night, but she honestly thought it was a fluke. Not that she minded. She really did want a relationship with all of her siblings. After being an only child for fourteen years, it was amazing to have so many siblings. Sure they didn’t grow up together, but she was certain that they could all become close. Walking into her room, Marinette quickly gets dressed in clothes that had obviously been left in there by Cass, since they were much smaller than anything the boys could have worn. Smiling, she ducks into the bathroom to deal with her bedhead, squeaking in surprise as something flies into her face.

“Tikki?” She says, shocked at the way the Kwami flies at her. 

“You could have died! You silly, silly girl! I could have lost you last night, Marinette.” She cries, flying at Marinette’s face and patting her with her tiny paws. And in that moment, Marinette swears her heart breaks. 

“Oh, Tikki.” She says softly, bringing her hands up to cradle the trembling Kwami. “I’m okay, I promise. Don’t worry, I was with my family. They wouldn’t let anything happen to me. I’m right here.” She reassures her small friend, wincing as she continues shaking. 

“I couldn’t have saved you, Marinette. It wasn’t magic. There would have been no cure. I healed your shoulder as much as I can without disrupting the balance, but it’s still going to take weeks to fully heal.” Tikki says, her big eyes watery. 

“I know, Tikki. But I couldn’t just let Damian get hurt. He’s my little brother, whether he likes it or not.” She says, patting her friend’s head gently before moving to her brush. 

“But-” Tikki starts, pausing when Marinette turns her full attention back to her. 

“But nothing Tikki. I’m okay, you’re okay, and my family is okay. That’s all we can ask for.” She says, going back to her attempts to tame her hair. Her phone, which she had set on the side of the sink, starts buzzing incessantly. Without glancing at the caller ID, she answers. 

“Marinette Dupain Cheng, where the hell are you? Plagg says you left late last night and didn’t come back!” The worried voice of Adrien Agreste leaks through the speakers. Oh, right. She forgot to text him. Oops.

Next

Tag list: @maribat-bdbwm @vixen-uchiha @stainedglassm @liquid-luck-00 @jayjayspixiepop @jjmjjktth @mizzy-pop @trippingovermyfeet @queenz-z @thepaceperson @iloontjeboontje @waiting247 @laurcad123 @toodaloo-kangaroo @ritacrow-blog @deathssilentapproach-blog @kittenmywaythrulife @nerd-nowandforever @tazanna-blythe @jaybird-and-co @imarivers8 @when-no-wings-dobroomsticks

[uwuderes]

I have to say and request this, Rex Splode firework request, bro, him giving his object of desire a private firework show just to get in his darlings pants is just so on point for the season! Bonus points for being dicked down somewhere up against a tree, bark digging into those arms as they try and hold themselves together, double down with potential marking with a burning slap to that ass *chef kiss*

Warning- Blood, Non-Con, Gaslighting

After Samantha had turned his second chance down, oh he was pissed. He wasn't perfect, what more did she want from him? He tried getting with other chicks but nothing seemed to fit the void he created in his own life. So after about a month of trying to find a new fling he met you. Kate had brought you over after they had a successful mission and wanted you to tag along for the celebration. So Rex of course flirted with you and eventually got your number.

But this particular night he was so starved of attention he found himself drifted away to the middle of the woods and his phone in hand about to call you.

So if Rex had anyone on his side right now who would give him the validation he desperately needed, it would be you.

“Hey (Y/n), you free?”

“Yeah, I'm just locking up at work. It's pretty late though, are you alright?”

“(Y/n) I'm a fucking superhero for god's sake, I'm perfectly fine. But I do have a surprise for you.”

“Oh Rex, that's so sweet of you. Where am I going again?”

“Outside the woods behind the headquarters. I'll pick you up.”

❀

“Your missions are always so cool, It makes me wish I had some cool powers so I could help.” You rambled as Rex flipped another coin into the air, the loud pop catching you off guard.

“Nah you don't want that it's far too dangerous for someone as fragile as you,” Rex commented. His hair hung freely in front of his face, he felt freer than ever when around you. So might as well get comfortable right? “So how's the surprise huh? Isn't this just perfect?”

“I love it out here so peaceful and quiet. Plus It's nice that your giving me my own fireworks show.” You enthused. Rex smiled you going for another coin but he stopped himself.

“(Y/n) Looks like I ran out of change, shit. I'm so sorry, but I'm sooo happy to hear that you had such a good time. You know Id only do this type of shit for you. So I think I deserve something in return.” Rex moved closer to you placing his hand on your knee. You jumped and moved to the side.

“Oh- Um Rex… I'm sorry I just thought-” Rex quickly shushed you placing his finger over your lips. He then moved back towards you, even closer, to the point where you could feel his breath fanning over your face. Rex then quickly latched himself onto your lips. You banged against his chest immediately making him pull away.

“What the fuck!” Rex yelled at you. You started gathering all your stuff, Rex starting to panic. “Wait don't go, just calm down you're being dramatic.”

“I'm going home. Ill… I'll call you tomorrow.”

“No!” Rex yanked you back down. He didn't know what came over him, it felt like a mixture of things. Rage, Lust, Greed… it all flew past him and every ounce of sense in him left as he started to choke you. You clawed at his hands starting to gasp, You reached for a nearby rock and bashed him on the side of his head.

Rex yelled out letting go of you. You scurried off into the forest, leaving everything behind. Rex groaned out, and pulled a coin out of his pocket, throwing it at your belongings. That should take care of you trying to come back and get help. Rex stumbled to his feet looking down at his hand, not seeing any blood. He chuckled to himself before going after you.

You had no clue where you were and eventually you collapsed falling to the ground. You caught your breath.

What was his deal… He seemed so nice…

Then you felt a sharp pain in your leg. You screamed out looking back and seeing a disheveled Rex. He pushed his hair out of his face looking down at where his foot was planted in your knee, surely dislocating it. “There you are, you ran off so quickly… Almost forgot to destroy that fucking phone of yours.”

Rex pulled you up, pinning you to a tree. He kissed at your neck and ground against you Rex loved every fucking second of it. He loved to hear your stifled moans, you were trying so hard to not enjoy this. turning him on even more. He tore through your top and popped your bra in the process. “I would love to take my time with your slutty body but I really just want to own the shit out of you.”

“Please! Rex, I just want to go home…” You cried out gripping onto his shoulders. You clung on desperately, your leg burning to the point where even Rex could feel it.

“You had your fucking chance! Now give me what. I. Want!” Rex tore off your bottoms and held you up on a tree on one arm and unzipped his pants freeing himself with the other. You could feel the heat radiating off him that's how turned on he was. “Now sit still.”

Then Rex filled you completely, all in one jab. You cried out as he picked you up and started a rough and quick pace. His pants rubbed against your cunt giving you more stimulation, Rex loved that even he can pick it out. Your legs wrapped around him pulling him close.

“You love that huh… You need this… Your fucking mine!” Rex pushed you further into the tree covering both of you in splinters. You looked off to the side not wanting to face Rex. He didn't like that at all, was he not doing good enough. Rex quickly pulled a coin from his pocket and activated his power, and slaps your ass. That would for sure get your attention back to him. You screamed out and dug your nails into the tree. It burned everything burned.

"That's going to fucking hurt in the morning, and I don't really fucking care!"

“I'm gonna fucking cum, you better do it too!” Rex growled and kissed you, both of your moans filling each other's mouths. Rex pulled away his pace getting faster, placing his forehead on your own. “Tell me you love me…”

“I-I…. I love y-you Rex…” You mumbled and stuttered out.

“Oh, that's it… that's fucking it.” Rex groaned dumping his cum inside you. Rex moved his hand to your clit rubbing quickly. You came a few seconds after. Your vision went spotty as he dropped you to the ground.

“Wow you losing a lot of blood there, don't worry Ill patch you right up. I hope you liked the fireworks.”

[greenbirdtrash]

Hello!

🔸I'm Kers, aka your friendly disabled enby artist from Ukraine 🇺🇦! I generally go by any pronouns, but as for now i do have a preference towards he/him and they/them. My special interests are paleontology, ornithology, alien&half-life universes, and i also enjoy drawing various fandom/oc stuff! Also i like to craft different things from scratch sometimes. Basically, my blog contains a lot of interest hopping because my hyperfixations are wild and i'm usually not ashamed of it.

❗18+ advised❗Besides being my personal art&interest stash, sometimes it may or may not have adult/suggestive things mentioned/reblogged, but that's as far as it goes. Explore this blog at your own risk, and please do not interact with nsfw stuff here if you're a minor. I do try to keep nsfw content in this blog tagged for the convenience/filtering purposes, anyway..

🔸I am very chill-going, feel free to send me asks and stuff you think i might like (but no vent/trauma dump please, i have my own demons to face), i quite enjoy when people do that and i love interactions (feel free to tag me in various interest-related posts and such, but be aware of the fact that usually i won't participate in tag games of all sorts with a rare exception), but sometimes i might disappear and/or won't respond right away because of my anxiety/social battery/bad memory. Please be patient, and thank you for stopping by, i geniunely appreciate each like, reblog or comment i get~

https://linktr.ee/elmargoviper

About art usage [IMPORTANT]

🌿Tags:

#kers ramblings - all text posts, talks and asks. Feel free to block it if i'm too loud on your dash

#my art - everything drawn by me, kind of a universal "art gallery" kind of tag. May or may not have shitpost-esque sketches as well

#kers crafts - pretty much self-explanatory, the things i make sometimes

#oc - characters, oh the many of them

#lyrr core - vibes that are resonating with my beloved oc Lyrr

#nsfw / #nsft - nsfw posts/reblogs

More info (about the nsfw stuff/timezone/DNI list) below the cut⬇️

I know the 18+ warning here merely has any power to stop people, but if you happen to be a minor who managed to sneak in despite the warning, you gotta remember that i am not your caretaker nor i'm responsible for your actions or overall internet experience, and i don't really care if you lied about your age in bio or not. That is none of my business, but this warning is placed here for a reason. I'd be grateful if you respect it.

🔸I have a plenty of interests, fixations and fandoms i'm currently in, there's too many of them to list, and i constantly cycle through them over years. Even if it might seem like i no longer enjoy a [thing], i probably still do, and i'm very fond of the communities, mutuals and all the memories of the fun times i had back then. I never actually abandon any of that and revisit my interests quite often, so if you're a long time follower and/or followed me for a specific fandom or type of content, you might see me getting back to it eventually, if you're patient enough... Once i step into a new territory, i'm gonna revisit it again and again, that's pretty much how my neurodivergent brain works.

🌿Timezone: GMT+3🌿

....i don't have a consistent sleep/work schedule anyway, don't be surprised if you see me active during any time of day

DNI: MAP/pedo,zoo&other animal abuse,incest/fauxcest ships,anti BLM,anti ACAB,transphobia/homophobia,ableism,islamophobia,fatphobia,terfs,bigots,racism,nazis,all sorts of ultra right wing radicals,elon/trump/putin supporters,ukraine invasion&war apologists (this is your only warning, get the fuck out and take your shit with you, i am not having a conversation or any interactions with people who were told to put my head on a stick just because i exist and because my identity and culture "should be erased"), NFT/AI art and cryptobros, "anti anti", and other shitheads. You're not welcome here and you will never be. Get the hell out of my blog.

If i accidentally reblog something from a blog that supports any of the things above, please, PLEASE, let me know so I can delete and block them. I don't want any of that on my dash, but I'm only human and unfortunately i do not know what's lurking behind every single reblog i make, especially if the account itself is vague or secretly tiptoeing around questionable stuff. Thank you.

Basic respect and politeness, it's that easy. Also, i do keep my ultimate right to distance myself, block and move on without any direct engagement whatsoever if something (or someone) is making me highly uncomfortable.

[xbunnybunz]

Weak Hero University (2/?) [Reader x Weak Hero]

Summary: I know you assholes are crying now that the first season of Weak Hero is over. But you’ve got other things to focus on, like where the fuck you’re going to live after getting kicked out of your old dorm. Luckily, you’ve found one last open room on the other side of Weak Hero University. What could possibly go wrong?

Genre: Romance, Humor, Slice of Life

Date: 6/1/2021

A brief introduction of everyone later, you haul a suitcase into the room while Ben noisily and clumsily pulls on his shorts, after much persuading from his friends.

“You’re living… Here? In the boys dorms?” Eugene asks, tagging beside carrying your schoolbag. “Isn’t that against the campus policy?”

You park the suitcase beside by your room and sigh, popping your back briefly.

“I’m just as confused as you guys are, but the keys here seem to be for this room here.” You allow a single gold-hued key to dangle from your fingers on a cheap polyester lanyard, Eugene’s eyes follow the menacing stare of the school mascot printed on the side until you pull it out of his sight.

“Let’s see just how fucked up this school is when it comes to money extortion.” You put the key in the door and hear a tell-tale metallic ‘click.’

“Wow.” A voice says from the couches. “Pretty fucked up.”

You sigh, shoulder slumping forward. “Whatever. Let’s just get this over with.”

Most of the items go into your room without much hassle at all. A suitcase full of cute PJs you and your nonexistent best gal roommates could rave over, a plastic box full of face masks you’d probably never be able to use without being made fun of, and a waterlogged ziplock baggie half-full with notes (and corn chips) from last semester.

What? A folder? What the fuck is a folder?

A boy with silver hair passes by and begins to say something to you, but seems to debate better options when he sees the plastic baggie on the floor.

Feeling slighted somehow, you ask Eugene who he is once he’s out of earshot.

Eugene laughs and begins to speak but an arm looping around his neck cuts him off.

A pair of shimmering emerald eyes meet your own, but it’s clouded with a shadow of mischief. “You haven’t heard? That’s the white mamba of E-quad. He’s fearlessly beaten bastards so bloody with belts that we have metal detectors installed at the dining hall entrances now!”

“Stop exaggerating, Alex.” Eugene chokes out, sounding mildly discontented while desperately trying to pry the arm from around his neck.

“Wait, that was because of him?”

Eugene and Alex both freeze, brows furrowed. “Wait, you weren’t kidding?” Eugene asked.

“I was.” Alex says.

They both fix their gazes on you, and you’re suddenly struck with the memories of needing to surrender your lockpicking kit in front of several dozen freshmen behind you, and the hot desire to bury that memory consumes you.

“Haha, me too.”

They don’t seem convinced.

Before the conversation about buckle-assisted homicide can continue, a large shadow descends upon your form and a great arm reaches out from the heavens above. “Here, I grabbed this from the kitchen in case you needed a snack.”

You look up and see Gerard, the tallest and blindest of the group. You accept his gift of a single (1) lunchables capri-sun with much adoration in your heart.

“Thanks Gerard.”

He gives you a smile to remind the audience that he is, simply put, cool as fuck.

“No problem.”

Well, one problem. You eye the last bit of your luggage sitting at the doorway like a heaping pile of hot flaming garbage. It’s an amalgamation of the extraneous bits of your personality you’ve collected over the course of the past semester at Weak Hero University and maybe a forgotten bagel. Despite your previous roommate’s pleads for you to throw some of it out, you’d be damned if you weren’t a treacherous little hoarder. Simply put, it was a huge box of insignificant trinkets that made for a very significant problem. You had gotten lucky to cross paths with a cute but gullible junior earlier, who you immediately marked as prey and flirted with before unceremoniously dumping your crap on him to carry across campus. But now you’d have to pick up the box of crap yourself, which would prove to be a challenge with how little you actually wanted to be responsible for your own items.

The three boys see you eying the box and you perk up immediately, eyes glimmering with the possibility of wooing the fine gentlemen into helping a oh-so-meek lass like yourself.

You twirl a piece of hair between your fingers and bat your eyelashes at nothing at all, pouting your lips and hoping they weren’t too crusty. “Oh, I’m so tired. How am I ever going to move that big and heavy box?”

You stare dismally into an off-corner and attempt to look forlorn, grimacing when you see a weird  construction of a human-sized dorito-chip statue made of empty dorito bags beside the television. This was the moment your main love interest would swoop in and offer his servitude to you, dewey roses blossoming on convenient parts of the screen. Here it was, your very own shoujo moment!

But there’s no offer. In fact, you stare so long at the doritos statue that you begin to get spots in your vision.

When you turn back, the boys are by the box in question, though they are not attempting to move it at all. Instead, they lament over the problem with you as opposed to offering a solution.

“Ah, that thing looks so heavy. Sucks to be you.” Alex laughs.

Euguene shakes his head. “Right? I wouldn’t even be able to get a corner off the ground.”

Gerard places a thoughtful hand on the back of his neck. “You should probably save the capri-sun for after moving everything.”

Ugh.

Just when all hope seemed lost, Ben meanders out of his room. This time, all his articles of clothing are intact.

“Hey, what are you guys staring at?”

Yes! This was your movie-moment after all!

“Oh Ben! Thank god you’re here.” You resume your maiden in distress pose. “I was just so tired from the trip, my feeble heart and body can’t bear to-“

Alex pokes his head up when he hears Ben approaching, waving him over. “Look at all this shit she has. She’s like those people on My Strange Addiction!”

Irritated that he’s cut you off, you try to continue. “I won’t ever be able to lift all that on my own-!”

“Aren’t you talking about Hoarding, Buried Alive?” Gerard asks, clearly already losing interest in the luggage.

“Actually, I think that would be Hoarders, the reality television show that aired a little before My Strange Addiction took flight! It’s actually really interesting how that all started out, if you want to hear about it.”

You scowl at the back of Eugene’s head and stop quickly when Ben shoots a grin at you.

He puffs out his chest in a stupid himbo way and thrusts his thumb into his chest. “I can move this for you! No sweat! Just tell me where you want it!”

Sweet! You were about to resort to desperate begging, but those plans are cancelled!

You clasp your hands together and sigh, envisioning a world where men with muticolored hair fall in love with you.

“Oh, anywhere in here is fine, thank you so much Ben!”

As he goes in to lift it, you can see his muscles straining against the well-fitting fabric of his shirt.

Oh yes, this is definitely worth the dorming fee.

“Ben, you’re so sweet for helping me with this!” He ambles past you while struggling to hold the lid of the box closed. A strained voice comes from beyond the green rim of the bin. “Yep, no problem at all.”

You follow him into your room, tailing him while rambling about how grateful you were.

“You know, there was a junior who I met by the campus square on my way here. He helped me move everything to this building, but he struggled with that box a lot longer than you! I’m actually not sure how you’re even getting it off the ground without a wedge and trolley, but boy am I glad!”

Ben stops at the foot of your bed, barely able to peek over the edge of the bin. “Erm. Is here okay?”

“Hey I mean, as strong as that guy was, you’re definitely cuter than him. I was almost sad to see him go, but that’s the life of a busy woman!”

“Pleasemyarmsareshaking-”

“As great as all this is, I’m actually really excited to make friends with everyone! Given these strange circumstances that usually only happen to indulge borderline psychotic fans, we should take advantage and-”

Ben drops the box on the floor and you screech, a pain shooting up your leg and pumping adrenaline into your veins.

“-FUCK! Shit!”

Ben freezes and realizes the absolutely fuckery he has just caused, but before he can react, you grab the corner of the box and throw it off your foot in a show of brute gorilla strength, crumpling to the floor in agony.

The boys have their heads poked into the doorway, curious after hearing two cuss words successively. They blanche when they realize the situation.

“Oh fuck. My bad?” Ben wants to comfort you but is frankly quite scared to after seeing your display of power.

“Did she just throw that thing with one hand?” Gerard asks.

Alex stares at the scene before him. “What the hell happened to her foot?”

Eugene titters about nervously, playing with his fingers “Do we have first aid?”

From the kitchen, a deadpan voice is heard. “Where’s my capri sun?”

[navegandoaciegas]

Sunshine Girl

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: fluff, soft!Bucky, mentions of injury (no graphic descriptions), 3.6k words

Summary: You are the sun and he’s simply basking in your light. And he’s so selfish, he thinks as he holds the velvet box with the diamond ring inside of it, he’s so damn selfish he wants to keep the light all to himself for the rest of his life.

Two years ago you were supposed to enjoy a solo road trip after years of Avenging, but Bucky invited himself along. Now you’re forced back to New York, and your boyfriend is ready to surprise you once again.

A/N: Bucky’s POV. Sequel to I love my baby to death, but I suppose you could read it on its own. As always forgive any mistakes, English is my third language.

Had to repost this cause it didn’t show up in the tags, hopefully this time it will

“I swear Buck, if I see one more damn corn plant I’m losing it. I am this close” you say pinching your thumb and pointer finger real close “to a mental breakdown. I’m never eating corn again, mark my words. No corn flakes, no corn on the cobble, no nothing. I’m done.”

“We’re in Iowa, in the middle of the corn belt, I don’t know what you were expecting.” he replies, slightly amused by your little outburst and sour mood.

“Well, clearly not ending up on the set of Children of the corn.” you groan, getting back to sulking in the passenger’s seat, seething at the fields that are only a scapegoat to the real problem.

You’d been merrily skiing in Montana when his skis got somehow tangled with yours and he tumbled down on you, dragging you down the slope. Hadn’t you injured yourself, rolling in the snow like it only ever happens in cartoons would have been pretty comical.

“What?” you screech, almost jumping off the stretcher and grimacing in pain when your left foot hits the metal poles at the side. “No. It’s just pain, I’m sure it will go away, right? I mean I was an Avenger, I’ve suffered worse than a fall.”

“I’m sorry, miss, but knee surgery will be necessary, the MRI here shows you’ve torn your ACL and from the looks of it, your left knee was already damaged badly, numerous times at that, probably a result of your time on the field.”

“I can’t, I can’t just get surgery, we’re miles away from home and I-”

You’re almost sobbing and Bucky feels like shit because he’s the reason for all this and all he can do now is pat your back reassuringly.

“Given the extent of the damage, I’m afraid there’s no other option.”

“How long is the recovery time?” he asks, voice unsure.

“Well, it’s my knowledge she’s not an enhanced individual, so like any average human it will take anywhere from 6 to 9 months to recover fully. In the meantime, no more hikes or sports.”

Bucky inhales a sharp breath. Six to nine months. No more hikes. Surely you’ll have to go back to New York.

God, you are so going to break up with him.

Turns out you didn’t dump him in Montana, you didn’t abandon him in one of those auto stops along Interstate 90 in South Dakota, and you don’t seem to want to break up with him amidst the green fields of Iowa, but still, he knows he will drive through Illinois, Indiana, Ohio and Pennsylvania anxiously waiting for the other shoe to drop.

It almost seems like a cruel twist of fate, driving the same route you did as friends two years ago, along Interstate 80 headed East instead of West, only this time he’s not hoping to be more than the annoying old man who invited himself on your trip; he’s your boyfriend now, but maybe not for long.

“You know, you really are dramatic.” you say in a teasing tone, “I’m not going to break up with you, stop thinking about that, it was an accident, ‘s not like you beat me.”

“I know, I’m just sorry because you’re in pain and it’s my fault and now we have to get back home but I know you wanted to stay more and I did too and if I didn’t-” he’s rambling, and your place your hand on his thigh and squeeze reassuringly, offering him one of those sweet smiles he dies for.

“Buck, it’s okay” you interrupt his word vomit “like I said a million times before, it was an accident, it’s going to be fine I promise. I’m sorry if I made you think otherwise with my mood, I swear I’m just pissed at all this damn corn. We’re never going to a maze again, by the way.” That gets a laugh out of him, and he loves you even more because you’re always there to lift his spirits. “I’m dreading these next months, the surgery, physiotherapy and all, but I know you’re there for me, yes?”

He nods, teary eyed, and you continue, “And I can’t lie, it’s been a while, I’m kind of excited to see everyone again, I mean except for Sam of course,” you say, as if he didn’t “live rent free in your head”, like Sam himself put it, “Jesus that man, how many of our trips has he invited himself on? I’ve lost count. ‘Member when we found him waiting for us in Phoenix? Fuckin’ weirdo.”

You both chuckle at the memory of Sam in your motel room, waiting on your bed with crossed arms like a disappointed parent, pissed off because you hadn’t called in a week and he was worried sick that something may have happened to you, a deadly sniper, and him, the Winter fuckin’ Soldier. Truth is, Bucky was so excited about your new relationship that he rarely let you leave the bed when you were in your room, and when you did you were in no condition to Facetime anyone, with your smudged mascara and swollen lips.

“I’ve heard Clint will come visit us with Laura and the kids. Nathaniel must be so big now.” you add, your eyes glazed over as you think of the little boy who was named after your Natasha.

“God, Morgan is probably all grown up.” he muses, a tinge of sadness in his voice. You squeeze his thigh again. “And the spider kid too, he’s a grown man now.”

“That he is.” you chuckle, “But to me he’ll always be the boy in the red spanx who knocked us on our asses in Berlin.”

He smiles and shakes his head at the memory, and you both fall in a comfortable silence. Now that he’s not consumed by fear anymore, Bucky kind of agrees with you that all this green is, in fact, nauseating.

“You know what, no more popcorn either.”

“Deal.”

-

A year and something ago

Arizona

“Can you believe there’s a city in New Mexico called Truth or Consequences? We should totally go and visit just for the hell of it, sounds like the type of place Steve Rogers should have been born into.” you state with all the seriousness in the world, and he snorts because after all this time you still haven’t found it in yourself to stop mocking Steve���s righteousness.

You’re walking ahead of him and he’s so distracted by your tiny denim shorts that he, the master of stealth, almost trips over a boulder. You’re always pretty but tonight, illuminated by the orange sky of Arizona, you look like a dream. And you’re so happy, snapping photos at everything you see, that even if Bucky hates the desert and the heat makes him uncomfortable, he won’t tell you, because the look on your face makes it all worth it.

“Baby, look at this big boy here, he’s like 20 feet tall. Oh my god, he’s so cute and beefy, just like you.” you gush at one of the giant cactuses of Saguaro National Park.

He raises his eyebrows skeptically.

All he sees are green spiky motherfuckers that he’s accidentally hurt himself with more times that he’d like to admit in all those damn ‘hikes’ you like so much, but to you cactuses are the most beautiful sight in the word. He genuinely does not see the appeal, but he understands now how you feel when he talks about all his ‘nerd shit’, as you call it.

“I’m cuter.” he says frowning.

“Of course you are.”

For some reason you don’t sound convincing at all.

-

It’s only spring but here in Tucson the temperature is 85 degrees today and he’s sweating buckets underneath the long sleeved t-shirt he’s wearing to conceal his vibranium arm. He’s long past the time when he was forced to hide from authorities or the general public’s judgement, but still he doesn’t want to be recognized and attract attention. He doesn’t do well with crowds, and he doesn’t understand how you can be so calm and collected when people stare at you and ask for photographs while you’re minding your own business.

As soon as you get back to the motel you’re staying at he takes off his soaked shirt, not caring that the air conditioning is probably going to end his old ass.

“What the hell happened to you?” you ask, scowling as you analyze the skin around his prosthetic.

He shrugs. “It happens sometimes.”

“Why?”

“No idea.”

“Don’t you fuckin’ lie to me James.”

You only call him that when he’s in big trouble. He sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose: why do you have to be so damn stubborn all the damn time? “It’s nothing sweetheart, just sometimes the skin becomes flared when it’s too hot.”

“Nothing?” you shrill, throwing your hands around animatedly, “Nothing? Bucky your whole shoulder is super red and irritated, don’t act like it’s normal. We’ve been in the sun for hours, for days really, why didn’t you tell me anything? I would have driven us back here immediately. Does it hurt?”

“That’s why I didn’t tell you, I didn’t want to ruin your fun, you liked it so much there. And no, it only itches a little.”

Your eyes soften and you move to cup his face in your hands, looking at him with so much love that he feels himself melt away into a puddle, “Baby you don’t need to do that, you know I care more about you than anything else.”

“Even more than the cactuses?”

“Well, now you’re asking too much of me.”

He snorts and playfully hits your arm, then he falls back on the bed and drags you down with him. You stay cuddled like that for a while before you pull back to look into his eyes.

“I appreciate you doing this for me Buck, but you don’t ever need to sacrifice your own comfort for me, okay?”

“I know, I’m sorry. But you looked so happy.”

“Don’t be, and I’m always happy with you, I promise.”

“I’m always happy too.”

“We’re such saps. Gross. Anyways, guess where we’re going next?” you ask him cheerfully, scratching his scalp the way that makes him purr like a cat.

“The plan was New Mexico, Texas and Louisiana, right?” he frowns. You’d made plans together ages ago and you were so excited about visiting Texas of all places for God knows what reason. He’s predicted already that he won’t stand the suffocating, humid heat of that whole area. At least Arizona was dry as hell.

You on the other hand, everyday he’s become more aware of how much of a lizard you are, seeking the sun and walking around in the scorching heat not even breaking a sweat.

“Guess again baby boy, we’re going straight to Oregon. I mean, it's not Alaska but it’s not as hot as the desert here, right?

“Wait, what? Why?”

“Because I don’t want you to overheat?” you state like it’s obvious, rolling your eyes, “We’ll do New Mexico and the rest next fall, and now Oregon and Washington because it’s a little cooler there. So what do you say?” You ask with a hopeful look in your eyes.

“Princess I appreciate you doing this for me, but I promise I’ll be fine. You don’t have to change plans for me, this is your road trip.”

“No you won’t Buck, you’re not doing good and I don’t ever want to see you suffer, you understand? By the time we get to Texas it will be summer and you won’t stand it, it’s better if we visit when it’s colder.”

He smiles softly. He knows he’d do the same for you. “Then Oregon it is.”

You get up from the bed and head to the bathroom to shower, “Oh, and baby?” you call out,  peeking your head from behind the door, “This is your road trip too, never forget that.”

-

Oregon

“Why does Thor get to have places named after him and we don’t? We were Avengers too.”

“But are we norse gods?”

“I mean, not yet, but I definitely deserve some nature’s wonder, or at least a star, to be named after me.”

“I’ll call WMO and get them to name a hurricane after you, princess. It seems more fitting.”

“Asshole.”

You’d been camping somewhere in Oregon’s wilderness when he came up with the idea of visiting all of the State’s so called seven wonders, starting from Thor’s Well on the Coast and ending in Mount Hood near Portland. You took a thousand photos of each attraction and sent a video of the water seemingly draining inside the famous well to the God himself, who enthusiastically expressed his appreciation.

Bucky’s cherished every minute of it, from the hot springs of Crater Lake to the chillier temperatures at night that force you to snuggle closer to him to warm up.

You’re in Portland now, and you’re thoroughly enjoying it, but what’s new about that? You’re always so full of life, so genuinely excited about everything the world has to offer that he’d be worried if you weren’t having the time of your life as you usually are.

He likes the city too, which is saying a lot.

“Blueberries are the superior berry and that’s the hill I’m willing to die on.”

You’ve been eating your way through Portland for weeks, and you’ve been discussing pies for a solid thirty minutes now. It’s raining outside and you’re cooped up in a small pie shop, eating more than an average human can and receiving weird looks from the waitress as you tell her to ‘keep ‘em coming’.

“I’m sorry but you’re wrong princess,” he states with a stuffed mouth just for the sake of aggravating you to no end, “blackberries are just so much better.”

It works as you grimace in disgust, both at his statement and his manners.

He’s found out you are weirdly opinionated when it comes to pies: pecan pies are an abomination, pumpkin doesn’t belong in dessert, lemon pie and key lime pie are only acceptable if someone’s grandma is kindly offering them to you, rhubarb pie without strawberries is a threat to mankind and cherry and blueberry pies are the absolute best. Apple pie is too bland to even take the time to discuss it, although the taste is likeable enough.

He on the other hand likes anything pie and anything sweet. And anything that gets a rise out of you.

“Please Buck, this isn’t even a blackberry pie, it’s some sort of inbred experiment that turned out kinda right.”

He shushes you, barely holding back a laugh when he sees the waiter side eyeing you as you disrespect one of Oregon’s most famous dishes, “First of all, it’s called marionberry and it’s a type of blackberry. And second, keep it down unless you want us to be kicked out, you’re offending a whole state.”

“Sorry.” you shrug, “But blueberry tartness level is where I draw the line, anything more than that is unacceptable.”

“That’s ‘cause you’re still a child and haven’t developed adult taste buds yet baby.” He does love his senior citizen card a bit too much.

This earns him a kick under the table and a scowl. “Stop it, grandpa.” you groan.

He grins and digs in your slice of marionberry pie. You resume to people watching.

God, he loves Oregon. And he loves you.

He really is a sap.

-

Wyoming

Washington was nice enough. You’ve taken him bar crawling most nights, and all of them have ended with him giving you a piggyback ride, per your request, back to the hotel room you were staying at.

It takes 13 hours to drive from Seattle to Yellowstone and you’ve driven all the way. You refused to disclose the destination of the trip and he’s fallen asleep the last 3 hours in the car. He’d mentioned he wanted to see the geysers somewhere in Pennsylvania two years ago and you remembered and took him.

Bucky couldn’t be happier.

He’s still describing the constellations above you when you fall asleep, and he’s so absorbed by the sky that he doesn’t notice until your head falls on his shoulder and he hears your soft snores.

He picks you up bridal style and takes you back to the fancy tent he bought on a whim in Ohio after you both slept in the SUV and woke up with major back and neck pain. He smiles as he removes your makeup with a wipe and does your skincare just the way you taught him, and admires your relaxed state.

He grazes your pretty face with his vibranium fingers, something so unimaginable to him before he met you, as he never thought his arm could bring anything other than pain.

Back when he was a semi stable 100 year old man thrust in another fight yet again, he hadn’t realized the extent of his feelings for you, believing he was only attracted to your beauty and youth. He hadn’t seen the way your smile lights up a whole room, nor the way you listen, truly listen, to anyone who may have anything to tell you, without ever judging them. He hadn’t witness your kindness and patience, let alone experienced them on his own skin. He hadn’t been lucky enough to watch you feed bird seed to the ducks of every pond of the country, or try to rescue a cat from a rooftop and almost falling off to save it.

Then Sam told him you were leaving and he felt like the word was collapsing on him. He’d found the sunlight and he never wanted to be without it.

Now he’s seen it all, all the little things that make you who you are, including your flaws, and he loves you not regardless of them, nor in spite of them, but because even your worst imperfections make you… you.

Bucky doesn’t know if meeting you was a way for the universe to fix all the wrongs that have been done to him, a sort of payback for all the shit he’s been put through, but in case it is, then he’s got no objections. And maybe he doesn’t deserve someone as good as you, but he’s a selfish man, and now that his sunshine girl is with him he never wants to plunge back into the the darkness ever again.

He tucks you both under the sleeping bag and snuggles next to you.

“Buck?” you mumble in a haze, tugging at his t-shirt, “Love you.”

It’s almost imperceptible, but his supersoldier hearing allows him to pick it up. He kisses the crown of your hair as he caresses your back.

“I love you too sweetheart.”

He wants to spend the rest of his time on Earth proving you how much.

-

New York

6 months later

The doctor wasn’t lying when she warned you that recovery would take 6 to 9 months.

You said the aftermath of the operation hurt like a bitch and that physiotherapy hurt even more. Today’s your last session and Bucky is glad about it for many reasons, like how you’re not in pain anymore for starters, and maybe because of how annoyingly fun, smart and hot your therapist is. Not like he’d ever admit it to you.

“Jesus,” you groan, “he turned me inside out like a sock, I can’t feel my legs anymore.”

“Sounds fun.” he deadpans.

“Someone’s jealous of the doctor?” you ask with a mischievous smirk.

“‘M not. He’s not all that.” he mumbles, blushing like a school boy.

You snort and drawl a ‘sure’. He sends you his best death glare.

“Whatever. I hope you don’t mind if we take a stop before going home.” he announces, helping you into the car. His palms feel clammy and he’s sweating despite the chilly winds of New York’s fall.

“Sure, where are we going?”

“Actually, that’s kind of a surprise, you’ll see.”

You beam at his words; he knows you love surprises and he hopes you’re going to like this one.

----

You look radiant as you lie on the blanket he’s spread on the grass, surrounded by colorful foliage. You’re sipping some of your favorite wine and nibbling on crackers as you admire a flock of birds migrating south in the sky.

You are the sun and he’s simply basking in your light. And he’s so selfish, he thinks as he holds the velvet box with the diamond ring inside of it, he’s so damn selfish we wants to keep the light all to himself for the rest of his life.

He’s prepared a long, passionate speech to tell you how much he loves you, of all the ways you’ve changed his life for the better and of all the reasons why he’d be a good husband.

But when you look at him with those bright eyes and beaming smile, he can barely remember his own name. He drops on one knee and holds the box out with shaky hands.

“Marry me, please.”

----

Thank you for reading! If you liked it, please reblog and comment, don’t be shy, feedback is always appreciated 🥺🤲

[hellroots]

『 MOBILE FRIENDLY RULES 』

— here you will find my rules or can also find them on my gdocs as well once i’m done with it. please like this if you read it, but otherwise don’t interact with this post, thank you. rest assured that i always read my moots rules before following and that i fully expect the same courtesy. i tried not to let them get too long but feel free to ask me anything you wanna know about them if it’s not clear ok?

 『 THE MUN』

NOXTROMUN, THEY/THEM, 21+, BRAZILIAN

shy but friendly ! i don't follow for follow, if i follow you that means i've read your rules and want to write with you. i have no triggers nor squicks of my own except drama in the dash, for that reason i do not engage in callouts/witch hunts and if you do it on a constant basis i might have to hard block you for my own peace of mind. although i may come off too strong/harsh, i am always up to talking things out privately. as long as you are civil, so am i. any form of hate will be deleted and blocked -  sometimes mocked, if i’m feeling cocky…

『 THE BLOG』

HELLROOTS, INDIE ( POTENTIALLY TRIGGERING AND NOT MINOR FRIENDLY ), HIGHLY SELECTIVE & PRIVATE MULTIFANDOM MULTIMUSE

primarily run on a low activity \ effort and with a slow speed.. my muselist changes a lot, depends a lot on what i’m watching lately so bear with me please. this is a drama free zone, therefore do realise that mun ≠ muses and (obviously) writing ≠ condoning !! as a quick note, do keep in mind that my blog is my safe space, just as your blog is yours - you are responsible for your own internet experience just as i am responsible for mine. should anything in my blog annoy/trigger/squick you, i strongly encourage you to block me & not write with me - your mental health is far more important ( for me, and hopefully for you as well ) than rp. on that note, please do not softblock me - that’s annoying, just hardblock please.

『 THE TRIGGERS』

TRIGGER HEAVY, PROPERLY TAGGED AND TAKING NO CRAP

i  usually  tend to write for trigger heavy fandoms (such as asoiaf, kingdom and others) and may incorporate some of it into my writing, muses' backgrounds and overall characterization. if you're bothered \ squicked \ triggered by that, i kindly encourage you to reconsider and not follow me. no amount of rp fun is worth your mental health.  i try to tag everything accordingly and i fully expect the same courtesy for our followers' sakes. be aware that there may be mentions of death, gore, violence, consanguinamory \ endogamy (especially when it comes to the lannisters and kekkei genkai clans), rape ( kingdom, though it will only be mentioned on the character’s backstory ) and cannibalism ( hannibal and kingdom ) , as well as unhealthy relationships and dynamics alongside with powerplay, and otherwise bad behaviours.  for all that is sacred, please, do note that i, the mun, do not approve, support or condone any of these actions or behaviours !!  i simply am capable of separating fiction from reality. as long as everything is properly tagged, with mutual consent and there are no minors involved (muse and especially not muns), . i support the right of a consenting adult to explore these awful dark topics in a safe fictional environment with other like minded consenting adults, people shouldn’t have to share their traumas to strangers on the internet to explain why they write what they write, be considerate. if that notion bothers you perhaps you might not want to interact with me, for both of ours sakes. fair warning, most of my graphics and aesthetics might trigger those who have xylophobia/hylophobia (phobia of trees or wooded areas), and considering it is a main theme here i will not be tagging it, i'm sorry. but its too many. however, if you want me to create a special tag for you, there's no issue! it will be either "[your mun name] don't look!" or "[your url] don't look!", whichever you prefer. QUICK EDIT/ADDITION: i do not believe that aging up fictional characters is inherently a bad thing - from what i understand, the whole appeal of aging up a character is that while you like their personality but you do not want them to be kids (for whatever reason) but insteasd adults. if you are one of those who think that aging up a character is automatically something bad (without even knowing why it was done in the first place) don’t bother following me because i do think that opinion is quite silly.

『 THE INTERACTIONS』

OC, DUPLICATE, MULTIMUSE AND CANON DIVERGENT FRIENDLY

my tagging system is simple, i tag triggers as "tw; x" and . images that may be sensitive or triggering as "cw; x". you can further see how my tags work by taking a look at my tag dump post, just search ‘tag dump’ on my blog and you will find the most recent one i’m using.    i shitpost and talk oocly on the dash constantly but you can easily blacklist my tag if it bothers you.  here's something you should know about me:  when i'm doing drafts i usually don't feel like chatting much, so please do not spam me because i won't be able to reply, i love to talk with my moots but sometimes it overwhelms me.  on that note, please don't pester me for replies ic or ooc, i am slow and chances are that if you try to guilt trip me or just nag me about it i'll leave as the ones i'll get to in the later end on purpose, just out of spite. yes, i be like that.   please be patient - i’ll never pressure you and expect the same in return.  plotting wise: i prefer to just wing it with just a faint idea of where to take the thread but honestly i'm cool with anything. please be considerate when formatting your replies, i have a bad eyesight & if i can't read it, i won't bother with it.   my own formatting is simple and clean.   on a smaller note, please bear with me and my muses as my muses ramble a lot but you don't have to match the length, just give me something to work with. if we write together, the chances of me making edits/tagging you in stuff are really big, just lmk if you don’t like that though !

『 THE FLEET』

MOSTLY BI/PAN MUSES, MULTISHIP AND MULTIVERSE, SMUT FRIENDLY

i love shipping but i like my ships to be devices to move the plot/dynamics/muses forward, every once in a while though i partake in some much loved self indulgent shipping. just because i ship a certain pairing don't presume that my characters are approaching yours with second intentions, please.   most of the time i like to reblog those relationship memes, so if you’re interested in a ship the best way (other than  sending me a message ofc) to let me know is by sending ones. there will be some triggering ships here ( like the lannisters, both cersei x jaime and joanna x tywin are my otps, and potential inter clan ships, like with the hyugas - i mean how the hell you think they keep the byakugan in their family?? ) that may either be played with trusted friends or be mentioned/reblogged sometimes, all properly tagged so you can easily blocklist/avoid it.  most of my muses are either bi or pan, those who are not will be specified. don't be afraid to reach out to me for shipping right off the bat - i'd rather have you to be open and honest with me about the interactions you want than lying to me, just know that there will be needed some plotting and threading first to see if your muses match. as an adult, my blog is smut friendly, i partake in sexual sunday a lot because some of my muses are very lewd in nature, you can blacklist my tag if that bothers you as well.

『 THE FINAL NOTES』

GENERAL RP ETIQUETTE APPLIES, CREDITS, THANK YOU FOR READING MY RULES

lastly but not least, general rp etiquette applies on my blog: no godmodding, forced ships, etc. there’s only ONE thing that truly makes me go apeshit crazy, and it’s when people don’t read my rules. i ALWAYS find out and it’s not pretty; i block it like it’s hot, ♪ ♫ ♬ block it like it’s hot ♪ ♫ ♬.   i strongly assure you that i always read your rules before both following you and also before sending memes, just in case. on a much smaller note, i’m not so hot on single shipping and i really feel weirded out about people forcing me to pic who i’m going to interact with due to theirs DNI’s. while i get DNI’s when it comes to actual predators, when it’s something seemingly random chances are that i’ll softblock you because it weirds me out how volatile some can be when it comes to a hobby. i have some trigger heavy hcs ( for example, the one about jiraiya’s hypersexuality being rooted in trauma that he suffered at a young age ) that i share with only a few muns that are closer with me, so i’ll be mentioning them every once in a while but won’t share them, please don’t insist.  i don’t really like most of the main characters of the franchises i write for, and when it comes to certain characters  i reserve the right to decline an rp for my own comfort. for further info on what i use to make my graphics please check my “CREDITS.” tag.  most of my stuff is made by me, i’ve got a lowkey rph in case you wanna check it out it’s @brazucahelps, however if you want a custom content i can see if i get a free time to come up with something :D

 IF YOU READ THIS FAR, THANK YOU SO MUCH — JUST ONE LAST THING, COULD YOU PLS LIKE THIS SO I KNOW YOU’VE READ IT? <3 THANKS!

[caffernnn]

Yeah hi again! More tsoa au snippets anyone?

Now that i think about it, albert could be apollo in tsoa, so imagine him taking a look at makoto climbing the walls of troy, disdainfully raises his nose, spits "puny little mortal" and flicks him off the wall with godly telekinetic powers to be killed by our hector, which is hiyori; i mean albert is already symbolized as a god in canon.

Kinjou could be the dickwad pyrrhus since people refer to pyrrhus as achilles without his patroclus, and kinjou is hinted to have given up personal relationships in order to be a stronger swimmer, and fans theorize him to be creating a rift between haru and mako, so yea...there's that. He could be our proud, arrogant, homophobic lil shit pyrrhus who thinks everybody should be like him- friendless and glory-hungry.

AJHSAKDJSK I WANT TO SEE THE CONFRONTATION BETWEEN BRISEIS AND PATROCLUS AS KISUMI AND HARU!!! Imagine haru being mad at kisumi for daring to touch makoto even after his death, when all kisumi wanted to do was clean him since he doesn't deserve to lie in filth, and haru goes apeshit that nobody should touch his makoto and kisumi goes "you're not the only one who ever loved him!!". Kisumi goes on to rant that haru only cares about chasing his honor and that makoto only died to save his reputation, which i got from a prompt under the #kisumako tag where kisumi confronts haru about how makoto chose him instead of kisumi even though he only takes makoto for granted, then jabs haru with "i wish hiyori kills you tomorrow" and haru goes "do you not think i wish the same?" Omg I'm just quoting from the book at this point I'm so sorry 🤭🤭😅😅✌✌✌

I have an idea on how to include the fireworks scen to the scene where patroclus convinces achilles to fight and save the greeks where haru goes "not you too! Do you not see how they don't care for me?!?!" Or like how they are only nice when they need him smth like that and makoto drops the bomb "then let me fight in your stead" and haru goes on an an Achilles-like tantrum "ask me of anything, but not this!!!" Anw that's not the whole dialogue but haru relents in the end.

Imahine hharu arriving in the underworld expecting to find makoto waiting for him only to be unable to find him even after an eternity of searching, so finally breaks, like the fireworks aftermath where he looked like he just got dumped by his bf, and ge curls into himself, realizing he may have lost makoto forever (again)

I just can't stop thinking how the gay panic nao gave makoto is very similar to odysseus' "sharing beds is gay" comment, so imagine makoto, who followed haru everywhere and shared everything with him, suddenly distancing himself and sleeping outside their tent because he feels that he cannot let the entire army they are gay, especially haru, the best of the greeks, so haru confronts him "what's wrong?" And then they resolve by saying "let them think what they want" or "i will not let them hinder us" or "we don't have to change" smth like that and proceeds to do their nightly cuddle, kinda like the dolphin courtship ritual they performed at the pool.

Aaahhh i just want to expand on phoinix's (that would be mikhail???) story about the king who supposedly was forced to choose between his pride or people he rules, and he chose his pride, even with the king's wife (best friend, in this context??? The king in the story would be ryuuji) and did not help his people win the war so his people turned against him. The wife's name sounds like patroclus, and so phoinix was hinting that only makoto could talk haru into fighting. Makoto had to fight, which results to angst, since haru chose his pride, much like the king (pls let this not be what happens in the movie kyoani we beg you)

So that's it. I'll send more when the ideas come. I swear i will try to turn this into a fic if i ever get out of my slump. IF 😫😫😫

Patrochilles AU fans, come get y’all’s juice 💕

It’s always so interesting to see people explore Haru’s relationship with his own pride because it’s definitely multidimensional. There are so many characters who fall victim to their own hubris or struggle with it more externally (the people who appear as antagonists or rivals to Haru both in canon and in different AUs), but it feels more complicated with Haru, at least to me. His pride doesn’t manifest through Haru boasting about his talents or trying to control/lead people, especially early on in his story - the moment(s) his self-esteem shifts into a double-edged pride is when his belief in his current successes and happiness stops him and the people around him from growing and changing. That’s his downfall. My thoughts from my own Free! x Hadestown AU are sporadic at best, but this verse always makes me think about Haru, especially his descent into hopelessness during ES:

Haru falls apart when he clings to his vision of comfort and happiness and forgets the ever-changing life involved in that scene. He holds onto the life he has with Makoto, the life he has with his friends, the life he has swimming however or whenever he wants to… and he blinds himself from the reality that everything evolves and continues to change. His pride comes out in his desperate delusion that he can stop the hands of time through willpower and refusing to watch time go by. He’s definitely not the only one going through this sort of internal battle (I’d argue many of the “antagonist” characters go through similar struggles) but it’s the one we arguably get the most insight on.

ALSO: I love Haru dearly but I also love seeing characters pull himself out of his own head for a bit. That Kisumi interaction to remind Haru that Makoto was loved by a lot of people? Knowing Makoto often holds himself back when it comes to Haru because he’s almost too aware of Haru being watched by the world around them?? There’s so much there to explore I just !!!!

I’m rambling, but thanks for sharing as always!

[dessarious]

Guilt and Consequences Pt3

Okay, so I am still working on my other stories I just haven’t been able to get much down. I’m working a crap ton of overtime at the moment and I’m just fried when I get home. I’d say hopefully I’ll be more productive on the weekends but right now I’m working Saturdays and and Sundays are becoming catch up on sleep days. So sorry for the delays, but I’ll try to get back into a headspace where I don’t just want to pass out whenever I’m not at work. Oh and I think I got everyone tagged who asked but let me know if I didn’t or you want to be added.

AO3   Beginning   Previous   Next

The silence stretched on and Lila could only sit there. She knew the others were likely staring at her. Wondering what she’d done to make her mother react like that. She just wished she had an answer for them. Even before everything with the schools they’d never been close. Her mother pretty much only talked to her to tell her what she needed to improve. As the atmosphere became more and more uncomfortable Lila finally broke the silence.

“So… would you consider that a yes or a no?” More silence before M. Dupain cleared his throat.

“Marinette why don’t you go with Lila to pack an overnight bag? We’ll get dinner and some treats started. Is there anything you can’t eat or something you’d like to have?” It took her a moment to realize that last part was aimed at her. When she managed to look up his expression matched the gentle tone of his voice and she just got even more confused.

“No sir. I’m not picky.” Her mother rarely made it home to eat with her and even then it was always take out. She’d gotten used to left overs or eating whatever random things were in the house.

“Make sure to pack all your medications as well.” Madam Cheng’s voice sounded a little strange but when Lila managed to look up at her she wasn’t glaring and she didn’t look annoyed. She was definitely more stiff than she’d been before though.

“It’s okay if you don’t want me here anymore. I get it. Even offering is more than most people would have done in your situation.” She still had no idea why they did either. After everything that had happened to their daughter because of her they should be throwing her out, at the very least. The woman’s expression turned to one of motherly concern and it honestly made her more nervous. She couldn’t remember the last time someone had aimed that kind of look at her.

“You’re welcome here, anytime you need somewhere to go, as long as you stop all this lying. There are better ways to deal with your problems.” Lila could only hang her head and mumble another apology. While she agreed that the lying in this situation wasn’t a good idea, it normally didn’t backfire like this and she had tried other things first. Maybe it was different for other people. She heard the woman let out a frustrated sigh. “You two go on, we’ve got to finish closing up the bakery before we start on dinner.” She let Marinette pull her out of her seat and down the stairs. She was still too busy trying to understand what was happening to even consider arguing.

“Did your mom really put you on medication just to keep you in school?” She glanced at Marinette. There was no accusation in the question. More like she just couldn’t understand how someone could do something like that.

“Yes but I don’t take it. Well, except one of the anxiety meds every once in a while when I can’t sleep. As she said on the phone, she thinks I should be responsible for myself so she just assumes I’m actually taking them.” She hadn’t understood at first why her mother would work so hard to get the meds and then not bother to monitor their use. She’d come to the conclusion it was so that when the school finally called about her ‘behavioral’ issues she would have a paper trail to be able to sell them on the fact that Lila was just sick and needed special accommodations. That or she really didn’t think Lila would disobey her on this.

When they got to the apartment building Lila wasn’t really paying attention. She heard something that sounded like a cough but kept walking towards the elevator until Marinette tugged on her sleeve. When she looked over at the other girl Marinette motioned to the side and Lila saw three rather annoyed looking staff members.

“Guests have to be signed in.” She blinked at the woman who spoke, not really processing the words.

“I’m sorry, what?” The woman just rolled her eyes.

“This is a high security building Mlle. Rossi. All guests have to be signed in.” Oh, right. She vaguely remembered something about that from when they’d first moved in. She just had never actually brought someone home before.

“Sorry, I forgot. Umm… how exactly do I do that?” The woman just looked exasperated now, but the man behind the desk offered a smile and motioned them over. There was a clipboard on the desk and he handed her a pen.

“You just need to put your name, apartment number, and your guests name.” He pointed to each column in turn . She filled them out as he asked and handed the pen back. “Thank you Mlle. Rossi, have a nice day.”

“Thank you, you as well.” She could still see the disapproving look on the woman’s face as they continued to the elevator and couldn’t help but wonder how she still had a job if this was how she normally treated tennants. Personally she couldn’t remember any of the staff and didn’t really interact with them. Generally once she was in the building it was a habit to keep her head down and get to her room as quickly as possible. She’d found that the less interaction she had with people the fewer things her mother had to lecture her about. Her social interactions were always lacking in some way and she could never be certain what her mother would latch onto.

When they entered the apartment Lila noticed Marinette frowning as she looked around. She couldn’t really blame her after seeing her house. The apartment was clean bordering on sterile due to the service her mother had come in daily. There weren’t any personal touches either. No pictures, no nicknacks, nothing that said people actually lived here. She didn’t really think about it. It had been this way as long as she could remember.

“Your place is nice…” Lila actually grinned as she watched Marinette try to come up with something good to say about it. “Lot’s of natural light.” Lila let out a snort of amusement. The girl was the essence of cheerful and that was all she could come up with. It was a bit sad really.

“My room’s this way.” When they entered Marinette perked up immediately. Lila could only assume it was due to all the pictures on the walls since it was the only real difference between here and the rest of the house.

“Wow, these are amazing! Do you collect them?”

“They’re not that good. Just pictures I’ve taken to remember where I’ve been.” She liked taking pictures, especially of nature. She found it soothing and having something to look back on made her feel a little less disconnected. Marinette was staring at her in what looked like awe.

“You took all these?” Lila just nodded. “These are amazing! I’ve seen professional photographers whose work doesn’t look this good.” Even knowing Marinette was just being nice, Lila couldn’t help but bask in the complement for a moment. But only for a moment.

“So what exactly should I be packing? I’ve never done the whole sleepover thing before.” Suddenly Marinette was looking at her like she’d kicked a puppy and she couldn’t figure out why.

“You’ve never had a sleepover? Ever?” Lila just shook her head. Wasn’t that what she’d just said? “Oh my gosh! We have so much to make up for. Obscene amounts of junk food and games and movies and makeovers and ghost stories and-” She just kept going. Lila had no idea what she was rambling about and it didn’t answer her question at all. Marinette finally paused to take a breath and she was able to break in.

“Okay, but what should I actually pack?” Marinette paused to think it over. The expression on her face seemed far too serious for such a common question.

“Your most comfy pajamas, whatever you want to wear tomorrow, and a toothbrush. I’ll take care of everything else.” Well that sounded slightly ominous. Regardless, she packed what she was told along with all her medications. Dumping those in the bag got a strange look from Marinette, but she wasn’t certain why. Maybe it was just how many there were. In less than ten minutes they were back out on the street, headed towards the bakery.

“Lila!”

“Shit.” She said the word under her breath as she looked behind her. Of course it would be Alya. They’d been on the street less than five minutes, only her luck could be that bad. She tried to use her body to block Marinette but she wasn’t quick enough. Alya’s expresion turned sour as she tried to reach around Lila.

“I thought we made it clear that we wouldn’t tolerate you bullying Lila anymore!” Lila grabbed the girls wrist before she could grab or slap Marinette. That stunned her enough to let Marinette get some space.

“You touch her again I’ll break the offending appendage.” Lila didn’t recognize her own voice in that deep threatening tone, but Alya just rolled her eyes.

“This is why we didn’t tell you what we were doing. You’re too nice and let people like her get away with anything.” She wanted so badly to just slap some sense into the girl but honestly she didn’t think it would work.

“I’m not nice, and you’ll find out exactly how not nice if you don’t stop harassing Marinette.”

“But if we don’t do something she’ll just keep bullying you!” Lila could only sigh. How many times was she going to have to have this conversation.

“Marinette is not now, nor has she ever bullied me. Which I already told you.” Alya let out a patient sigh, like she was explaining something simple to a small child. Yeah, someone was going to get hit before this conversation was over.

“She’s constantly calling you a liar and trying to turn everyone against you. Why would she do that?” Yep, the kindergarten teacher tone was definitely a good way to piss her off. Lila, of course, defaulted to sarcasm.

“Oh gee, I don’t know maybe because I was lying?” Alya looked like she was about to argue but Lila just kept going. “If you had bothered to look up literally anything I said you would know that.”

“An absence of proof is not proof of absence.” It took a minute for the words to penetrate as Lila was just getting even more annoyed by Alya’s self righteous tone but when they did she had to stop herself from lunging at her.

“Are you saying that you looked up my claims, found absolutely no proof and still took my word over Marinette’s?” Her voice was soft, more because her throat felt like it was closed in rage than anything else.

“There wasn’t any proof that you were lying either.” Alya’s smug tone finally snapped something inside her.

“Have you lost your damn mind?! Jagged stone has said in multiple interviews that he doesn’t even like cats. And in what universe would my mother’s PR team not have it in the news that I do charity work? She’s a public figure Alya, anything that can make her look good would have press releases for days. That in and of itself proves that I was lying.” The girl seemed to ponder this for a moment before she sent a glare to Marinette.

“What did you threaten her with to make her agree with you?”  Knowing that she’d been right about who Alya would blame for this was a small consolation.

“Lila you need to calm down.” Marinette’s voice was soft, soothing even but she was in no mood to pay attention.

“I will not calm down! This wanna be reporter couldn’t find the truth if she fell into a river of it. You should consider a career in fiction by the way since anyone with journalistic integrity will simply laugh you out the door.” Alya was still glaring at Marinette, like all this was her fault. What was wrong with people? Marinette actually grabbed her arms and forced Lila to face her.

“Please. You really need to calm down. Just breathe with me okay? You don’t want to get Akumatized again.” Those words acted like ice water. Yes, this was beyond stupid, but it wasn’t worth that. She calmed her breathing as Marinette asked but made sure to keep a line of sight on Alya as well. There was no telling what someone like her would do at this point.

“We should head back to your house, your parents will start to worry.” She had no idea if that was true or not but she hoped it would get Alya to back off. Pretty much everyone agreed that Marinette’s parents were great people, but they were also scared shitless at the thought of pissing them off. After their talk earlier she understood why. It did the trick too. Alya mumbled something about finding out what kind of dirt Marinette had on her so Lila could stop pretending she’d been lying as she left at a brisk walk. She’d read about willful ignorance but she’d never expected to encounter it to this degree. She was starting to hope it did have something to do with Hawkmoth, but considering some of the things people were willing to believe she wasn’t very optimistic.

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