#she's willing to risk that damnation anyway) DESPITE that being the prevailing opinion of people with o/c/d and not having any sort of
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Having Too Many Feelings™ about Lady Macbeth today.
#specifically how a lot of people consider her to have o/c/d (she does) and a lot of this is tied to The Blood-Washing Scene where she#sees bodily fluids that aren't there and can't ever feel clean (which. yes. definitely a symptom) but there is SO MUCH OTHER STUFF#that suggests that she has this illness beyond that. stuff that's present before then.#she prays to supernatural forces to take away her emotions/vulnerability because she feels out of control#everything she does is defined by Guilt™ even BEFORE the Big Monologue™#there's the aforementioned Prayer To Spirits. there's the fact that she's so overcome with guilt during the FIRST STAGE OF THE PLAN#because one of the guys they need to kill sort of vaguely reminds her in passing of her dead dad and she feels Bad™#there's the fact that her grab for power and desire to be literally anyone other than who she is are compulsive. she can't be good enough#for her husband she can't be good enough for herself gaining power is a manifestation of perfectionism that she doesn't have the#vocabulary to describe or the awareness to realize#she's in her head all the time and all of these are compulsions albeit really fucked up ones that most people suffering from this don't have#and somehow despite being on the heels of assuming that people suffering from this were possessed by the devil (which like. adds a whole#other thing when stacked against the fact that what she's doing WILL CONDEMN HER TO HELL ACCORDING TO GENERALLY ESTABLISHED BELIEFS#and I highly doubt she doesn't know this. but she's willing to risk hell to give her husband something and to give herself peace while alive#she's willing to risk that damnation anyway) DESPITE that being the prevailing opinion of people with o/c/d and not having any sort of#widely-recognized or helpful medical knowledge/treatment. shakespeare STILL managed to capture what this illness is like and STILL made her#this complex and tragic and sympathetic character and he did all of that WITHOUT EVEN KNOWING WHAT THIS ILLNESS IS AND I HAVE A LOT OF#FEELINGS ABOUT IT#I got to go on a Tear™ about this character to my bestie the other day which calmed the storm a little bit but I NEED TO SCREAM ABOUT HER#I NEED TO WRITE 50 MORE PAGES OF ANALYSIS ABOUT THIS CHARACTER DOING IT ONCE AS MY UNDERGRAD CAPSTONE WAS NOT ENOUGH#I NEED TO PLAY HER#I NEED EVERYONE IN THE WORLD TO LOVE AND UNDERSTAND HER LIKE I DO
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