#she's so tormented. so messed up. i can't stop drawing her someone help

[averlym]

do you want to settle? or do you want to fly?

[mycartoonmonster]

Stanley loves his family.

He was treated as an unwanted and bad, stupid child by people around him excluiding Carynn, constantly compared with his smarter brother. So he can understand the feeling of being less than your sibling given his talents.

He sees himself in this sweet weird kid (And someone pointed out that Carynn looks like Mabel with her hair down so maybe he does also feel inclined towards her) but has enough self awareness not to project onto her like Ford does with Dipper, even if the similarities are there.

(I love Ford but again Fildbrick turned him into the egocentric man we see later on always looking for approval to the point of making Ford an easy target for manipulation and he played a part in the Stan twins relationship souring that Ford cant let go of a mistake of many years ago and without noticing he projects himself onto Dipper-not unlike Bill did with Ford but also having his nephew's best interests in mind- and tries to live through him by giving him the chance he never got in life; not taking into consideration his life in California, his studies nor his relationship with Mabel nor how she might feel about it too csuse he cant help but view another case of a twin holding the other one down even if unintentionally. Also lets be real Stanley's life is messy but Ford was alone and choosing his studies over his family led him to ruin his friends life and be haunted by a demon)

Both are artists (Lil Stanley and the Mystery Shack's attractions plus some artwors that depict him drawing), both like animals (Stan's relationship with Shanklin the Opossum is a parallel to Mabel's relationship with Waddles not to mention they inmediatly get attached to the mutated cow in the shorts) and often are seen as the dumb one even if they're street smart and more emotionally mature (Despite her selfishness at times, Mabel is very empathic, tries to help others out and do the right thing and apologizes for her mistakes and Stanley has a sense of family loyalty and recognizes when he messed up and tries to make up for it)

He makes sure this little girl doesn't feel like a dissapointment; he indulges her in some of her schemes (as long as they aint too crazy) and even after she loses in minigolf and comforts her with the fear of highschool looming over her future. Constantly using terms of endearment like Pumpkin and Sweetie, not unlike his mom did with him. He even has some of the things she gives him in his room.

Although he does struggle with Dipper, he loves him still and does give him advice when needed and he's not nearly as cruel as his dad was to him with his attempts to toughen him up so he can defend himself against the world which works as seen in his fight with Bill and Gideon Rises and other instances throughout season 2.

He even states he's reminded of him in Dipper in a couple of occasions which could explain why hes so proud of him when he stands up to others even himself included, cause he couldn't do it with his dad nor the bullies in their youth that tormented him and his brother in a definitive way.

He makes sure both him and his sister are loved and that they know.

Stan's not perfect of course, in trying to shield him and protect him form Gravity Falls's weirdness he ends up gaslighting Dipper into thinking hes crazy and that the weirdness and paranormal stuff isn't real which pushes him into doing something dumb and dangerous in his desperation like raising the dead and this is where Stan stops pretending and promises to stop hiding the truth about Gravity Falls but continues hiding the truth about Ford and the portal until the day where the portal is ready and he tries telling them but can't cause its a lot. And after everything hes not mad at Dipper for not trusting him after everything they went through that day.

But despite everything he never raises his hands nor his voice at them; the worst he did was intending to ground Dipper after possibly getting them into trouble with the goverment.

And after Ford comes back, he warns Dipper not to get too close to Ford in order for him to be safe as Ford's work is far too dangerous for him and just wants to keep them safe.

Also he's okay with them spending time with Ford as long as they're okay, since Stan sees Dipper clearly likes Ford. He's just mopey about being alone or the twins liking Ford more cause he's been alone for 40 years.

And in Weirdmageddon he goes against the plan to rescue Ford not cause he doesn't care about Ford (he does and had no idea what Bill was doing to him) but because of his niece and nephew's safety (alongside the surviving creatures and townsfolk) and when the plan goes sour (Ford didn't need to correct his grammar and Stan didn't have to fight him) he's more than willing to basically lay down his identity (his life) to make sure his entire family is safe, even if it meant the possiblity of not coming back to his old self ever again.

Heck he cares so much for them that he wrote "Come back soon" in the "See you next summer" note Dipper was given by Wendy

So yeah its nice to see that in spite of all the trauma Fildbrick made Stan go through (as well as Ford and Shermie), Stanley cant bring himself to have anything but love and affection for his niece and nephew, even if its hard for him to show it.

I love Stan's relationship with the kids so much.

GF emphasizes a lot of very real trauma in Stan's past. Everything from child abuse, homelessness, drug abuse, and survival sex work. And the way that meshes with Mabel being this truly genuine depiction of a weird little girl creates something that is very unique to the series.

It's really touching how Mabel just being Mabel heals Stan's inner child and the way he naturally clicks with her. The weird and creative little boy he used to be, before his father's abuse and toxic masculinity beat that joy and optimism out of him.

It's just damn good. It's a really beautiful depiction of an intergenerational relationship. And I haven’t really seen anything else quite like it. Because there’s also Dipper.

There’s this wall between Stan and Dipper that goes beyond his similarities with Ford and its gender.

Dipper is a boy and Stan clearly doesn’t really know how to handle that. He was taught that boys are raised in a very specific way. And like we see how Stan really struggles with his past, the way he talks about the boxing lessons in particular.

Masculinity is so deeply entwined with Stan's pain and it’s something he can’t easily unravel. How is he supposed to be able to criticize his father for 'toughing him up' when he feels like punching things is one of the only things he’s good at? It's fucking sad.

[nominnation]

Of Fins and Tails

Pairing(s): Jaehyun x Doyoung

Synopsis: Doyoung has a rocky past. A dangerous and deadly past. One that haunts him because, try as he might, he can't escape it. Perhaps he should come clean about his past to his boyfriend. But what if he has passed the appropriate time to reveal such baggage?

How will Jaehyun feel when he finds out that the man he loves is far more complicated than any human?

Warnings: drowning, mentions of major character death, mentions of blood, secrets, supernatural beings.

Word Count: 5100

Author's Notes: This is the second fic in the Qian Manor series. It has been posted on ao3 and amino. I hope you enjoy!

Edit created by Sunny on NCT Amino

1723

Air drifted through an open porthole, chilling the occupants residing in the lower deck prison. A young man, Doyoung, who sat closest to the window, shivered thanks to his fagged and torn clothing that did little to protect him from the harsh environment. He drew his knees to his chest, rattling the freezing shackles locked around his ankles. He wrapped his arms around his knees in an attempt to capture warmth, the handcuffs tightly chained around his wrists restricting his movement. He curled himself into a small ball against the wall of the ship hull, head resting against the porthole bolted into the frame.

“Do you want a blanket?” a kind voice asked in a whisper.

Doyoung looked up to see a boy, no older than fourteen, offering him a smelly, rat-gnawed blanket. Doyoung would like the blanket. It wouldn’t be much, but it would be more than he had. However, as he glanced around the prison where he and fifteen other people had been forced into, he couldn’t bring himself to take the blanket. Mothers with young children were already struggling to keep them warm against the cold, half of them holding their children to their breasts with blue lips. He couldn’t accept a blanket for warmth when so many others were freezing. A blanket, torn or not, could mean the difference between life and death for some of them.

“Give it to someone else,” Doyoung answered.

As he spoke, another gust of wind blew through the porthole, immediately illiceting a shiver from him.

The boy gave him a sympathetic glance but nodded and turned to drape the blanket of a mother who held a bundled up two year old against her body. She smiled at the boy gratefully and snuggled into the blanket. It wasn’t much, but it’d keep her warm for a little longer.

“Who do these people think they are,” Doyoung mumbled to himself.

He must have been too loud, or perhaps he just had rotten luck, because a moment later, the metal door burst open and a bulky man wearing stained brown pants, a ripping white shirt, and a velvet red coat stormed in. He had a mop of long, greasy hair and a black pirate hat perched atop.

“I’d watch your mouth if I were you!” he sneered.

Doyoung couldn’t help but to roll his eyes at the man. It wasn’t their fault that they were in this situation and hated it. Most of them were there for no reason. Sure, some of them had been previous thieves, including the boy who’d offered him a blanket, but the rest of them? They were just random people in the wrong place at the wrong time. Doyoung amongst them.

“Why don’t you just let us go? We’re not animals. You can’t keep us caged up down here like animals!” he snapped.

He knew it was the wrong thing to say before he said it, but he couldn’t help it. He had held his tongue for long enough. These pirates had kept all of them down here until selling certain ones off to slave traders or until one of them died from hypothermia or malnourishment. He was sick of watching them die.

The pirate stepped into the room, a glare sharp across his face. Out of the corner of his eye, Doyoung saw a mother draw her child closer, protectively. He felt sorry for her. He had caused this with his mouth, but something had to be said.

“We can keep you here for as long as we see fit. No one even knows you rats are missing!” The pirate venomously tongued.

A growl made its way from Doyoung’s mouth.

“You’re a bunch of dirty rotten pirates and one day, you’ll pay for the torment you put these people through!” He yelled.

The second the words were out of his mouth, he knew he’d messed up. His eyes grew wide and he put his hands over his mouth.

“N-no! I didn’t-”

But the damage was already done. Before Doyoung could comprehend what was happening, a fist was colliding against his nose, knocking him back against the wall. As his head hit it, his jaw clenched and he bit down on his tongue. Blood pooled into his mouth, dripping down his jaw. He let out a loud whimper, but he didn’t have time to check the damage done to his tongue before his shackles were yanked. Pain sprouted through his body.

“Doyoung!” he heard someone yell.

“Shut up!” the captain yelled.

The sound of a body hitting the floor and Doyoung wanted to object. To tell them to let him get whatever brutal punishment awaited him, but he gurgled on his own blood, the thick liquid dripping down his throat.

It didn’t matter anyway. He was yanked from the prison faster than anyone else could intervene. As soon as he was out of the door, his head smacked against the metal frame and his vision tunneled before going black.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The sun beat down on his face, bringing a small smile to his face. Freedom. They must have set him free. Finally.

“Look at this! The boys’ smiling!” a wicked voice spoke near his head.

His eyes slowly cracked open, the first thing his eyes catching being the black sail of the ship. So, he wasn’t free…

His heart sank. There was no telling what they were going to do with him now, but he doubted he’d be allowed back with the other prisoners. He never considered being down there with them was a blessing.

“You’ve got a big mouth boy,” another voice sneered.

Doyoung closed his eyes. He didn’t want to see what they had in store for him. Maybe they’d have mercy. Perhaps he’d made them angry enough they’d just slit his throat and be done with it.

He was never that lucky.

One of the greasy pirates grabbed his forearm tightly, too tightly for comfort, but even as he grimaced, the hold didn’t loosen. Instead, he was dragged up from the ground roughly. He let out a yelp as he was tugged a little too hard, his jelly legs too weak to balance himself, but the pirates showed no mercy.

It was only when he was standing that Doyoung realized his once shackled feet were now bound by a thick, irritating rope tied so tightly around his ankles he couldn’t even shuffle.

“Normally, with someone as loud and irritating as you, we’d hand them over to the captain, let him teach ya lessons the hard way,” one pirate spoke, his voice low and gravely.

“But, he’s too busy right now, with us closing in on land and all, so he doesn’t have time to teach ya the lesson below your belt,” another sneered.

Doyoung felt his stomach tie in knots. Below the belt…? They didn’t mean…?

“So we’ll just have to dispose of you the good ole fashion way!” another spoke, a wicked grin plastered on his face.

Before Doyoung had time to process what this meant, the pirate holding his arm yanked him forward. He went tumbling down, unable to move his feet to compensate for the sudden lurch. Laughter erupted around him and Doyoung’s face burned, although he wasn’t sure if it was more from embarrassment or anger.

Another hand gripped his other arm just as tightly as the first and the two arms hauled him into his feet again before dragging him across the spintery deck, his bare feet catching on raised pieces of wood that sliced his feet open. He was dragged up two steps, toes crashing against the edges of the steps, making him wince, until finally, he knew what was about to happen. Tears sprang to his eyes as he struggled, but it was no use. The pirates simply laughed at him as the two holding him pushed him out onto a short board dangling over the water.

“You should have kept your mouth shut boy,” one of the pirates sneered at him.

Doyoung stared down at the roaring waves splashing below him. He didn’t know how to swim! Even if he did, his feet were bound so tightly, he wouldn’t be able to anyway!

“No! Please!” he begged.

Hot tears burned liquidated lines down his cheeks as he begged for his life, but the laughter of the pirates only grew.

“See you in Hell, boy,” the same voice said darkly.

A hard, sharp object was plunged into his back, opening up a large, gaping wound that immediately began pouring blood even before he went plunging into the water.

Doyoung didn’t have time to take a breath before being submerged under the salty ocean waters. He had no stored up air and the pain in his back was nearly unbearable. He struggled to get his feet free, to at least make them move, desperately reaching for the surface, praying for just a bit of oxygen, but as his blood stained the water red, his body sank deeper. His eyes locked on the ship sailing above water. The ship full of hateful pirates who, as he struggled not to fill his lungs with water, would pay for their transgressions.

He lost the battle with his body, his eyes already closing from blood loss, his mind fizzing in and out of consciousness. He inhaled the salty water, filling his lungs and choking.

His body flailed, rejecting the insufficient oxygen, desperately seeking air that would never come. His heartbeat hammered in his ears and, here in the silence of the ocean, suffering his death, he swore he saw movement rapidly moving toward him.

His eyes closed. A shark must have smelt his body and come for dinner, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care any longer as his mind finally stopped responding and his body stopped struggling.

Kim Doyoung was completely unaware of the arms wrapping around his body or the journey he was about to embark upon.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Doyoung opened his eyes, he was laying flat on his back. The first thing he noticed was that he wasn’t wearing a shirt. The second was the thin stretch of decorative twine across his chest, tying him to the surface which seemed too hard to be a bed. The third happened when he let out a scream and thrashed about for freedom, bubbles rising from his scream that told him he was most likely underwater.

Confused, Doyoung opened his mouth to take a breath, sure he was dreaming or in some weird state of mind, but as he swallowed in a mouthful of water, his body expelling the liquid, filtrating it out of holes in his neck and keeping the oxygen, he let out a yelp. He could breathe? Underwater?

He was beyond confused, but as he looked around the area he was in, his eyes caught something right below him. A long, scaly, blue-grey tail.

His eyes narrowed. Who did the tail belong to?

He reached out a leg to touch it, however, as he did this, he realized two things. One, he couldn’t feel his own leg and two, when he’d attempted to make a leg work, the tail itself had flexed.

“What the hell?!” Doyoung screeched.

He shook his shoulders hard, hard enough he was able to free an arm from the twine tying him to the surface. He brought his hand down around the twine to pull it free from his body, but as he did this, his gaze fixed on his arm. His skin was there, but on several parts of his skin, skin that was close to the bone, there were blue-grey scales shimmering in a dim light. But that wasn’t the only freaky thing. His nails were also an inch longer, pushing way past the end of his finger. They were sharpened to a point and the same, blue-grey color as the scales.

What the hell was happening to him?! Was this some prank? Or some lucid dream as he dies?!

Regardless of his confusion, his first need was to free himself from this twine. Once he was free, then he could worry about what the hell was going on.

He grabbed his hand around the twine and yanked, surprising himself with the amount of strength he had. The twine broke free from his body.

As soon as he was free, he pushed himself off the bed, but, as soon as he lifted, a sharp pain from his back shot through him, forcing him back down as he thrashed and whined.

“Careful. You aren’t healed yet,” a voice he didn’t recognize spoke.

This immediately caught his attention. He flashed up and looked around the room his was in frantically before finally, his eyes caught sight of long, brown hair floating aimlessly in the water. He narrowed his eyes and, as if coming out of her hiding place, a woman emerged.

She had piercing blue eyes and a slender body. She had a seashell bra that seemed to just barely cover her breasts. Doyoung blushed but he couldn’t look away, his eyes trailing lower, questioning what was going on. His eyes caught scales similar to his own on her arms and, with that, his eyes traveled below her waist where he gaped at her long, shimmering, green fish tail.

“What- how- huh-?” he stammered.

The woman smiled softly at him and moved… swam closer.

“My name is Magnolia, but everyone calls me Maggie,” she spoke, her voice sounding crystal clear in his head, not at all gurgled by the water.

Actually, looking at her, there were no bubbles coming from her mouth that wasn’t even moving.

“I am a Siren. I heard your cry for revenge on the pirates that hurt you, and I granted your wish,” she said.

Doyoung gaped at her.

“How- How can I hear you?” he stammered.

Bubbles flew from his mouth as he spoke.

“Don’t try to speak underwater. It is quite difficult. All of us have a telepathic link that, while in range, allows us to communicate,” she said.

Doyoung didn’t really understand, but he tried to.

“How did you grant my wish? Are the pirates dead?” he thought.

It seems he’d accomplished his goal when the woman gave him a small nod and a smile.

“No. They are responsible for your death. It is your choice to punish them as you wish,” she said.

Death? But… that wasn’t possible! He was alive! Unless this was Heaven, which he highly doubted.

“Don’t be alarmed. You did die. Your body bled out and you succumbed to the water, but, due to the violence of your death and your prayer for revenge, you were born again as a Siren.”

Doyoung stared at her, stunned and overwhelmed. A Siren? But they didn’t exist! Now she was telling him he was one!

“I-I…”

His vision tunneled and his body stopped responding as he lost consciousness once more.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Doyoung came to again, he could feel the warmth of the sun on his face, bringing a smile to his lips. He took in a deep breath that, at first, he expected to be full of water, but when he gulped down a mouth full of oxygen, his eyes flew open.

His back was pressed against the shore of a sandy beach. Waves lolled against the sand, keeping Doyoung from ever being completely dry.

It all must have been a dream. He must have somehow swam to the shore and washed up on the beach.

His body felt sore and stiff from laying in one spot for so long, but as he shuffled, he was able to sit himself upright. As he sat up, he took in his surroundings. The island was small and rocky. Jagged rocks plunged from the water around the shore of the island. The rocks were splattered with blood and surrounded by pieces of ships that had no doubt run onto the rocks. How in the world had he floated onto the island without being ripped to shreds by the rocks?! Had someone carried him?

As he looked down, he had his answer. A long, blue-grey tail shimmered in the sunlight. The scales were mostly dry, but the waves crashing onto the shore kept it moist enough.

So it wasn’t a dream.

“Oh good, you're awake,” a voice spoke near him.

He turned around to catch sight of the same brunette woman he’d seen below water.

“What am I doing here?” he asked.

His eyes trailed over her. The first thing he noticed about her was that she was walking, with human legs! Her fishtail nowhere in sight!

“This is one of the islands we populate. This one is a newer one, so the elders thought to bring you here,” she explained.

This boggled Doyoung’s brain. We? Elders? Just how big was this group of Sirens.

As if reading his mind, the woman, whom he remembered as Maggie, answered.

“There are more Sirens in the world than you might think. Some live deeper in the ocean, choosing not to be a part of our life while others choose to live on land with humans,” she explained.

“So… I’m a Siren now too… So what will I do?” he asked.

“That’s up to you. You may live on this island with the few of us that live here too and learn the way of the Sirens, luring sailors to our island and devouring them, you may choose to live far beneath the sea, or you may choose to roam with the humans,” she explained.

Doyoung’s head was spinning. So many choices to make!

“If I decide to stay on this island, can I change my mind later?” he asked.

“Of course! We’ll always be your family, but you are free to go as you please,” she answered.

This forced a breath out of Doyoung’s chest. At least he wouldn’t be forced into sticking with whatever decision he made now.

“What exactly do Sirens do?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Unbeknownst to him at the time, this question opened a large can of worms that led him into spending the next 50 years projecting his newly acquired angelic voice off the island, luring in unsuspecting pirates and sailors. As their ships crashed into the rocks and the dazzled humans made their way onto the island, Doyoung and the rest of his kin ripped open their throats with their razor-like claws and drank in the sweet blood that tasted of wine on their tongues.

Doyoung even had the pleasure of ripping the heart out of the captain that had captured him all those years ago. Actually, it was the captain and the events thereafter that had him where he was today, sitting in a long, porcelain bathtub with his tail stretching over the side.

Doyoung had first become a Siren for revenge. Revenge on the pirates that had killed him. He had lost sight of that over the years until he and his kinfolk had lured the ship onto the rocky shore.

Everyone that Doyoung had known were long since gone, but there were new prisoners aboard, prisoners that had begged for their lives while Doyoung’s bloodthirsty, revengeful mind tore the captain apart.

He felt no remorse for the captain. It was his fault Doyoung had even become a Siren, but as he sat up and watched his fellow kinfolk rip the prisoners who hadn’t done anything wrong to shreds, he couldn’t take the life any longer.

They were innocent, yet, because they were human, their blood spilled on the rocks, even the blood of the purest human of them all, a small, three year old child who died at the hands of the man Doyoung had come to trust. The man Doyoung had fallen hard for, only to be let down at the males intolerance for humanity.

“I want to leave,” he’d told Maggie a few nights later.

And, with that, Doyoung packed away his few belongings and dived into the sea, leaving everyone he’d come to know and love behind.

He’d swum to another land mass, a mass he recognized slightly, but after so many years, a lot had changed.

He pulled himself out of the harbor and began a new life pretending to be human, only feeding when absolutely necessary and, even then, only on the fish he caught during a swim.

Present Day

A knock on the bathroom door tore Doyoung from his reverie. His body jolted, splashing water onto the floor.

“Babe? Is everything ok? You’ve been in there a while!” his boyfriend's voice spoke on the other side.

Doyoung exhaled.

He had wandered from place to place on the Asian continent for about 3 years before finally making his way back to his hometown. There, he had met a man by the name of Qian Kun, a Chinese male who had relocated to South Korea many years before. The two became fast friends and Kun became the only “human” that knew Doyoung’s secret.

Turns out, Kun himself wasn’t human either, but a vampire that had actually been born a century before Doyoung.

Kun offered Doyoung a place to stay in his mansion along with a few other people, some human, some not.

It was there that Doyoung met Jung Jaehyun, the human that would thaw his frozen heart and teach him the goodness of the world again.

Jaehyun was human when they’d met, but it wasn’t long after Jaehyun, a broke college student, had moved in, that an unfortunate accident involving a rogue werewolf in the woods.

Jaehyun was bitten by a newly turned wolf and became a wolf himself. A wolf that had broken up with Doyoung for about a year until Johnny and Yukhei had come to live at the house, Johnny an alpha werewolf and Yukhei, his best friend and beta.

Johnny and Jaehyun had hated each other at first, Jaehyun presenting as an alpha, but after a huge fight in the backyard that ended with Doyoung and Taeyong nursing Jaehyun’s wounds, Jaehyun joined the small “pack” between Yukhei and Johnny.

There was never another issue. Except for the small fact that Doyoung had never told anyone but Kun and Taeyong the truth about his past, or the true creature he was, too ashamed to admit the awful things he had done.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The door handle jiggled, causing Doyoung to jump again.

“Doie! Are you ok?” Jaehyun spoke, voice dripped in concern.

Doyoung’s stomach dropped in guilt. Jaehyun had always been open with him about what he was, granted, Doyoung was there when he became what he was, but still, Jaehyun was always open. Doyoung hadn’t returned the courtesy.

“I’m fine Jae! I just got lost in my thoughts!” he responded.

It wasn’t completely a lie.

“Come to my room when you get out, ok? I want to talk to you about something.”

Doyoung didn’t respond as he heard Jaehyun walk away. What was he going to do? Could he tell Jaehyun now and let everything be ok? Could they survive the truth after Doyoung had hid it for so long.

He pulled the plug holding the water in the tub. The water had long since grown cold, something Doyoung hardly noticed anymore.

As the water drained, he pulled himself off the bathtub floor and held himself up until he was sitting on the edge.

Learning how to bathe without leaving the room with a shredded bathroom had been a challenge, but he’d eventually learned.

He lifted his dripping tail from the water, flicking water off his scales before sliding it gently onto the tiled bathroom floor. He shivered at the contact as he reached for a towel hanging nearby, careful not to shred it with his long fingernails.

He dried his upper body first before getting a fresh towel and running it down his tail, drying the scales and his flipper.

Once dry, he rested his tail on a dry towel laying in the floor and waited for his tail to disappear back into two legs.

He didn’t have to wait long before he was able to push himself off the side of the bathtub and walk out the door. Usually, he liked to double check the bathtub and scoop out any scales that had fallen from his tail. In his haste to get to Jaehyun’s room, he had forgotten.

As he stepped into Jaehyun’s room, the younger male instantly gave him a smile and trotted over. He looked like a puppy excited to see its owner and, had Jaehyun been in wolf form, he was sure the males tail would be wagging.

“What did you want?” Doyoung asked.

His question immediately brought a pout to Jaehyun’s lips. Doyoung shook his head with a little laugh and moved closer. He pressed a soft kiss to Jaehyun’s lips.

“I just wanted to talk. To hang out. We never do that anymore,” Jaehyun said.

Instantly, Doyoung felt bad. He hadn’t intended to ignore his boyfriend. Fact was, he just didn’t know how to tell Jaehyun the truth after he’d been hiding it for so long.

“I’m sorry baby. Let’s talk,” he said.

He made his way over to Jaehyun’s bed. He laid down on one side, immediately pressing his face into Jaehyun’s pillow that always smelled like the woods and Jaehyun’s Old Spice shampoo.

Jaehyun slid onto the bed on the other side and wrapped an arm around Doyoung’s waist, drawing a smile from the male in question as he snuggled closer against his boyfriends broad chest. This was probably his favorite place. A place where nothing else in the world mattered besides the two of them.

“You know I love you,” Jaehyun spoke.

His voice vibrated in his chest, causing Doyoung to shudder as chills sprouted up his arms.

“I love you too,” he whispered.

He didn’t realize until Jaehyun smirked how breathless he had sounded.

He blushed and curled closer to hide his face in Jaehyun’s chest, but the werewolf seemed to have another plan, cupping Doyoung’s face and drawing him to his mouth. Minty breath brushed against Doyoung’s lips as they grew closer. He closed his eyes and parted his lips slightly.

Jaehyun moved slowly. He was teasing him, and Doyoung loved every minute of it, because, the second Jaehyun’s warm lips pressed against his own, Doyoung melted into the males arms, butterflies erupting in his stomach and heart pounding in his chest.

The two had kissed before, of course, but Doyoung could’t get over the feeling every time his boyfriend kissed him. It always felt like the first kiss. And Doyoung wouldn’t have it any other way.

One of Jaehyun’s arms stayed securely wrapped around Doyoung’s waist, keeping him pressed flush against his chest while the other wound into Doyoung’s hair, tugging slightly and eliciting a small groan from Doyoung’s throat.

Doyoung’s hands gripped onto Jaehyun’s shirts, holding on for dear life, as if he’d lose Jaehyun in an abyss if he let go.

Oh how right he was.

Jaehyun’s hand had just slipped under the bottom of Doyoung’s shirt, fingers tracing delicately over the skin, when the door burst open.

The two quickly pulled away, fixing their eyes on the door where Donghyuck stood, hand slapped over his eyes.

“Geez! It’s 6 in the evening! At least wait until everyone's asleep!” the male complained.

Doyoung groaned and shot the younger a glare. It wasn’t harsh, but not soft either.

“What do you want Hyuckie?” Jaehyun asked.

Donghyuck walked into the room, making himself at home, much to Doyoung’s annoyance.

“I was just in the bathroom,” Donghyuck began.

“Congratulations,” Doyoung retorted sarcastically.

Donghyuck shot Doyoung a smirk and, almost instantly, his annoyance at the male turned to fear.

“Hyuckie-?” Doyoung questioned nervously.

“I found these in the bathroom after Doyoung hyungs shower!”

Donghyuck presented two blue-gray fish scales.

Doyoung paled and reached up to snatch the scales, but Jaehyun was faster.

“Oh, fish scales! Doyoung must have been cleaning his fish tank,” Jaehyun responded with a shrug, taking the scales from Donghyuck’s palm.

Donghyuck stared at him incredulously.

“Hyung doesn’t have a fish tank…”

“Thank you for getting them out of the drain, hyuckie! You have really saved Taeyong hyung some trouble cleaning! He already has enough to deal with in the drains with the way Johnny, Yukhei, and I all shed,” Jaehyun said.

With a wave of his hand, he dismissed Donghyuck who stood there flabbergasted before turning around and leaving the room.

Doyoung slid himself away from Jaehyun slightly to look at the man who had covered for him. He didn’t have a fish tank. Jaehyun had acted so cool about the whole thing. Did he suspect Doyoung had gone fishing or something? No. He was way too chill for that. He hadn’t questioned Doyoung at all. But that could only mean…

“How’d you find out,” Doyoung muttered.

He hung his head and sat up, expecting to be kicked out of the room at any second.

“You’re not as stealthy as you like to think,” Jaehyun spoke.

Doyoung flinched at his voice and closed his eyes.

“You were stressed and upset about a month ago because of so much chaos in the house. That night, you ran from the house. Do you remember?”

Doyoung nodded. He remembered that night like it was yesterday. He had bolted from the house and through the city, never stopping until he got to the empty harbor on the other edge of town. He’d jumped into the water and as soon as the water had closed over his head, encasing him in silence, he’d instantly felt better.

He’d swum for a while, debating on whether or not to go back. Part of him wanted to just disappear. But they were his family and no matter how chaotic they got, Doyoung would always go back.

The second he’d slipped back onto the dock, Kun had been waiting for him with a towel. They’d sat out there drying Doyoung off for an hour where Kun comforted him.

“I followed you. Or rather, I followed your scent to the harbor. I was worried but I watched Kun talk to you. I saw your secret. At first, I was angry that you didn’t tell me. But I talked to Kun and I understood. So, I decided to wait for you to tell me. Did you not trust me enough sooner?” he asked.

There was a hint of pain in his voice that brought tears to Doyoung eyes.

“No I do… It was just… I waited to tell you at first. Then I kept pushing it off out of fear. I was afraid you’d think I was a freak…”

The tears dripped down his face now, droplets hitting the soft blankets before Jaehyun wrapped his arms around him and pulled him back into his chest.

“Baby, you know I love you, right?”

Doyoung looked up at him, eyes still glassy. He turned around and buried his face back in his boyfriend's chest.

It felt so nice to be accepted.

“I love you too.”

[5hfanfiction]

Too Close To Home - Chapter 11

Pick up the pen, put it on the paper Write on my skin, bring me to life Can't start again, there ain't no eraser All of my flaws, you got them so right

Lauren sings suddenly as the guy continues inking my arm, making my head fall back to the seat, laughing hysterically at her sudden burst of dorkiness. She’s singing our old song.

Everything is blank until you draw me Touching on my body like you know me

I sing along with her happily, laughing in midst of it. I just had to. The song makes perfect sense, considering our current situation.

Write on me Colour outside the lines Love the way you tat me up Baby, take your time Write on me Give me some wings, I'll fly Love the way you tat me up I'll never change my mind Write on me, write on me Write on me, write on me (write on me) Write on me (write on me) Write on me Love the way you tat me up Write on me

We sing together now, looking at each other with the biggest smile possible. She’s so laid back. I cant help but see fetus Lauren - the girl who didn’t care about what the others think, the girl who doesn’t seem fazed about anything, the girl who just laughs when someone comments ‘Camren’.

The tattoo artist laughs a bit before continuing. He’s gets to listen to both of us singing right now and we’re the ones paying him for his time - how unfair.

You are my friend, straight and no chaser Burns going down but it keeps me alive Tell me the truth, I like the danger 'Cause in the end you will be mine

Oops…

She sings softly, but full of emotion and passion, boring her eyes into mine. She’s not even smiling or laughing anymore, and neither am I. I don’t know how I feel about this, part of me is bursting with joy while the other part wants me to flee and never look back.

I don’t want to be played again.

She whispers the last part, clearing her throat once she realizes what she just sang. Just a minute before, we were laughing at ourselves.

The shift in mood is impeccable, the tension in the room so thick that we could cut them with a knife.

“Done,” he says finally, cleaning my arm with a clean cloth while Lauren and I snap our attention to the source of sound, feeling flustered.

I shift my eyes down, looking at my arm. I look at it in awe, it looks so… alluring. Definitely eye catching. It’s a detailed huge rose with tons leaves on the outside of it. It looks simple yet complex. I scan every details of the flower, it was definitely better than what I anticipated.

The tattoo on my arm was the exact replica of the photo I showed to him. I don’t know how he does it.

Lauren laughs softly, her eyes welling with tears and looks at me, “This was the drawing I drew for you, wasn’t it?”

…

“I'm bored," I say while looking up the ceiling, while laying on the bed of our hotel room. The 1975 on shuffle filling the room on the background.

It is now 9am and we just finished eating breakfast. Today's our break from a crazy schedule and the girls and I are just too tired to go out. Lauren and I are sharing the same room while Ally's with her dad and Normani's sharing with Dinah - as per usual.

"What do you suggest we do?" Lauren speaks out suggestively, her mischievous demeanor clear as day. She's sitting in a chair leaning against the window near the bed. She's half naked doodling on her sketch pad, her back leaning against the armrest while her legs are propped up on the other one.

"I can think of some things," I offered, playing her game.

"Really now?" She puts her sketch pad aside and walks over to me. She crawls on top of me, my legs held captive by her thighs on either side of mine. She immediately dips her head down to my ear before adding, "What do you have in mind?”

I move my hands to her abdomen and just slowly move around them softly before groping her ass tightly, making her sequel in surprise.

Just then, I surprise her some more by wrapping my arms around her waist and roll us, making me on top now.

“You thought you had the upper hand by being on top, didn't you?" I say cockily, knowing how turned on she'll get if I start playing dominant.

My hands roam around her body once more, feeling her body tense. It feels good knowing that I could get such arousing reaction from her just by a simple touch.

I dip my head down to her neck and suck on her pulse point, making her whimper in response. Her hips start moving to grind against my hips.

I suck on her neck roughly, only to soothe them a moment after. One of my leg starts to move to the other side while the other one stays between her legs.

As I look back up to look at her face, her eyes were screwed shut and her mouth were open, clearly turned on. It was definitely the best sight I've ever seen.

"Look at me.”

She opens her eyes slowly, unfocused but open nevertheless. Her pupils were blown out to her green irises.

I suddenly push the leg that's between hers to her clothed sex, making her moan softly. I look at the work of art beneath me, moaning my name to touch her.

I repeat the action a few more times before I abruptly stand up and went to the coffee table across the room to check the menu for room service, suddenly hungry again.

“Are you hungry?" I ask, turning to Lauren.

She frowns, clearly unimpressed.

"What?" I question innocently.

"Fuck off," she simply says, stomping to the bathroom childishly and closing the door roughly.

I laugh at her antics and walk over to the door, knocking lightly to not set her off more.

"Laur.." I say as softly as possible.

"Again, FUCK OFF!”

“Come on, what are you doing inside?”

“Fucking myself! since SOMEONE can't even finish what she started," She shouts.

I laugh again, I knew that I was a tease, I just didn't know she'll react like this.

A moan on the other side of the door caught my attention. Is she seriously fucking herself?

My panties dampened from another sound that came from the bathroom. The idea of her touching herself making my head spin, arousing me in every way possible.

"Camila.." she whispers. Oh My God. She's fucking herself while imagining it's me… what's better than that?

I run to the desk immediately, checking the drawers for the keys for the door knob. I don't see the point in knocking since she's started already.

As I find a set of key a few seconds later, I run back to the bathroom and tried each of the keys on my hand.

After failing 4 times, the key finally fits, making a click sound that indicates that it is now unlock.

As I open the door slowly, I saw Lauren spread open on the counter, eyes closed. She probably doesn't know about my presence yet.

She's naked now, her underwear on the floor, touching herself rapidly, inserting two fingers on her sex and moaning, not even caring about how loud she's being right now. She looks like she's on the verge of coming.

I walk over and clasp her wrist, stopping her movements. She opens her eyes, fire burning through her gaze. I just stopped her twice now.

She whines loudly, unhappy with the loss of friction.

"Who asked you to touch yourself?" I ask authoritatively, lust dripping out of my mouth. I yank her hand from her core completely, making her whine louder.

I move my hand to her thighs and just slowly stroke them. Her hand goes to my shorts, untangling the knot and slide the offensive object down along with my panties.

Now I'm literally half naked, naked below my hips but still fully clothed on top.

She looks at me with hooded eyes, leaning forward to kiss me and I comply easily, kissing her back with passion and lust. I can only hold back for so long.

Her hand rise to my shirt and tug it up roughly, accidentally ripping them in the process.

Damn.

She wraps her hands around my body to unclasp my bra, letting it fall off my shoulders easily. She takes her time to look at my body, smirking while checking me out, pleased by whatever my body has to offer.

My hands move back to her thighs and move inward near her core, making her gasp at my touch.

"Please…" she begs softly.

"Hmmm.. what's that?" I say back.

"Please…" she says louder, squirming while her hands move to hold on to the counter and arch her back, making her breast pop out more. Her body was jerking forward despite being unable to actually do it because she's sitting on the counter.

"Please what?" I say, tormenting her and indirectly tormenting myself. All I wanna do is shove my fingers into her pussy but I refrain from doing so because I want her to really beg.

"Please…" she squeaks out, her eyes closed from my agonizing hand moving up and down her thighs, near her pussy but not close enough, "Please fuck me…”

I smirk, "gladly,“ and immediately pull her down from the counter, making her stand up before turning her around and push her upper body against the counter.

She moans and just squirms while laying on the counter, submitting herself to me. Her ass infront of me, looking perky and huge.

And so… round.

My hands move to her ass to cope a feel. Seriously, my hands know what it's doing, even before my brain could even keep up.

Lauren tries to stand up but my left hand flies to her back to hold her down while my other hand moves to cup her sex softly.

"Ahhh.." she cries out, her body a quivering mess, "stop teasing me," she pleads desperately.

I decided to put mercy on her, she was pitifully shaking, desperately in need of release.

I tease her entrance, using the liquid as a lube for my fingers so I won't hurt her. I mean, she's pretty wet already, but it's for safety precaution.

I slowly insert my middle finger, making her moan shamelessly. Arousal dripping more to the point that it drips to her leg. Her insides clenching my finger tightly.

I insert another finger, her hands fly to the faucet and the end of the counter, as if they were her lifeline. Her knuckles white for gripping those objects tightly.

I hear her gasp, making me smile cockily. I press my sex against my hand and her ass, making her moan more.

And that's when I really fucked her, moving my hips to follow my hand, as if I'm really fucking her. I look down, seeing the most arousing sight ever. My fingers buried to the hilt inside her cunt.

"Yessss," she cries out as I thrust my hips against her ass, starting a steady but deep pace, making us moan in unison. I could listen to her all day everyday, it's better than music itself. The way her body response to every part I touch turns me on more than I would care to admit.

I watch the erotic sight in front of me as I speed up, my thigh smacking against her ass, the sound of each wet thrust echo in the small, suddenly humid bathroom. I couldn't hold back anymore, every inhibition I had in me gone through out the window as my thighs slap her cheeks, making her wetter - if that's possible. Her groan released from her lips, making me growl.

"You love it when I fuck you senselessly, don't you?" I husk against her ear. She moans in response, unable to sound a coherent word.

I feel myself building to the peak as her core clenches on my fingers, indicating that shes close to. So, I curl my fingers, hitting the spot that always makes her eyes roll to the back. She arches her back as I fuck her rougher.

"Come on Laur, come for me.." I whisper softly as I lean against her back, too tired to stand up. Our body now mixed with sweat.

"FUCK… CAMILA," She screams on top of her lungs, pushing me to the edge along with her. Her hands clutching the counter as I ride her orgasm out.

We catch our breath for a moment before I softly say, "Now that's how you start Valentine's Day..”

She pauses, our body still pressed together until she realized what I said. "OH MY GOD,“ she says suddenly, standing up and turn to me, "I FORGOT. We were just so busy with promoting our single and everything that I forgot what day today is. I didn't even buy you a flower.. What kind of a girlfriend am I? Camila, I'M SO SORRY.”

“Hey Lauren, it's okay really. Fortunately, I bought enough gifts for the both of us," I attempt to make a joke. I understand honestly, if I wasn't anticipating today since we first started dating, I would have forgotten too.

"But-”

“Lo, really, it's fine.. You being here with me on Valentine's is enough for me.”

She pouts, "You're making me feel worse. Here you are being sweet while I have nothing to offer.“

"I love you, your happiness is all that really matters to me.”

“Seriously, stop it. You're not helping.”

I just laugh, holding her hand to guide her back to the bed. As she sits on the edge, I begin walking to our unpacked travel bag and retrieve a couple of ugly wrapped gifts. I walk back to sit next to Lauren and gave her the big one first.

As she unwraps it, she smiles as she caught a glimpse of what's inside. It was a collection of vinyl albums consisting of The 1975 first and second album, Lana Del Rey's whole discography, and a few others that I know she likes. There's even a vinyl of our debut album, Reflection.

“Thanks Camz," she says sweetly, smiling brightly that it matches her eyes.

I give her another one as she puts the Vinyl records aside. She rips them open but it's pretty much looks obvious at first glance. It was an unopened Nutella jar.

"I know you don't like chocolate so this is basically a substitute of it since I want to be as cliché as possible so yeah..”

Her smile grows bigger and wraps her naked body around mine. We're basically that comfortable with each other now that we didn't even try to cover our bodies at all.

I give her the last gift moments later, a little anxious of how Lauren will react. It was a collection of pictures of us and the girls in an album. Fifth Harmony and us.

It was bittersweet. I basically compiled everything I could find and put them all on the photo album to show how far we've gone through. We went from kids who had ambitions bigger than our bodies to actually fulfilling it just a few years later. I went from singing in front of my little sister to singing to the whole world, along with my best friends and girlfriend whom I love so much. We went through every obstacle together as a group, helping each other along the way. We were lost when we started X-Factor, not knowing what our future holds. And now, I feel like I finally found what I'm supposed to do - and that's singing along with the four other girls.. forever.

The photo album was like a time stop to every achievements we attained.

We went from strangers to acquaintances to friends to best friends and now, 2015, we're together for 6 months now. In just a span of less than 3 years, we found something in each other that we didn't think we could - love.

At the end of the album, there was a small letter I wrote for her.

Lauren,

Im not sure if you knew this but I lied when I said that I first saw you at the audition.

It was a while back when One Direction was in Miami. We went to the same concert. I saw you as we entered the auditorium. You were with your friends while I was with mine. And although there were tons of girls around us at that time, I couldn’t help but stare at you until you were out of sight. You were simply captivating, making everything around you blur as I look at you.

Yes, I know it sounds borderline obsessive, considering we were strangers at that time, but I couldn’t stop. I wasn’t even listening to Marielle talk about how excited she was, my whole attention was on you. I thought it was just a pretty girl that has no relevance in my life but now, I couldn’t be more glad to say how wrong I was. You were just a stranger at that time and now, you’re probably the only person that could change me.

And to say that you are mine does wonders to my heart. Everytime I look at you, I feel my heart beat faster and I didn’t understand at first. How could my heart respond this way to my friend. I was confused and lost for a moment. I even tried to deny everything.

But I’m glad that I finally overcame it and told you how I felt. Because now, I get to follow my dreams… with the girl of my dreams.

No one knows what the future holds but just remember this, I love you and I always will..

Camila.

The tears are  dripping down to her chin as she stares at the letter in front of her. She wasn't smiling anymore, and that made me a little bit anxious.

“Do you not like it? I'm sorry. I can take it back and buy you another present of you want. I didn't plan on making you cry. That's not what that was for. I'm sor-" she cuts off my speech as she kisses me passionately, her lips a bit salty from the tears but I didn't care. She can kiss me with the worst morning breath ever and I would still enjoy it.

She pulls back, "I love it.. I'm sorry I didn't get you anything. Not even a rose.”

“Oh, which reminds me," I walk to the unused closet and retrieve a white rose from the small vase I hid. I walk back to the bed with the rose behind my back and present it to her once she was in front of me.

"Okay now I know you're deliberately making me feel like I'm the worst girlfriend ever," she says as she takes the rose from me, standing up.

I just laugh, wrapping my arms around her, kissing her softly.

"Actually, you know what? I'll just draw you a rose.." she says as we break apart. She walks over to the seat she occupied before our.. umm.. sport.

She takes her sketchpad out and starts drawing the rose on her other hand while I just lay down on the bed again and look at her. She looks so focused at her current task, not bothering to look anywhere else except for the rose and the pad. She looks like she's in her own world right now, which fascinates me beyond imaginations. Her face contorting into a frown as she draws.

"Why did you go to the bathroom?" I ask abruptly, surprising myself.

"Huh?" she eyes me for a few seconds before continuing her task.

"Why did you go to the toilet? I mean you could've just, umm.. touched yourself here." I ask awkwardly. It's so weird, even if I'm not exactly a saint when it comes to sex, I seem to feel awkward when I talk about these… stuffs.

"Oh, I wanted to take a cold shower at first. But the towels were there," pointing at the towels hanging on another chair across the room, "I don't want to freeze myself and I was too turned on to let it go. And since you were already directly outside the door, I had to do it there.”

“Oh." And with that, we continue what we did before. Her drawing and me staring.

Technically, we're both staring at the same thing - a work of art.

It took about more than an hour  for her to be done. I just spent the time staring at her while listening to The 1975. I didn't even realize I'm staring until she rips the paper off and gives them to me.

It looked absolutely beautiful.. Just like the artist herself.

…

"Yeah,” I mutter.

“Oh My God,” she gasps, looking at the inked art on my hand.

“Do you like it?” I ask nervously. It’s technically hers and under the circumstance right now, she might hate it. And I heard that removing a tattoo hurts more than the tattoo itself. So if she doesn’t like it, then I have to remove them.

“I love it,” she whispers while wiping the tears that’s flowing through her cheeks.

***

After everything was handled with the tattoo stuffs, like wrapping my arms in a sterilized bandage and the tattoo artist informing what I should and shouldn’t do to limit infection, we were good to go.

We climb into the car and starts to drive. She seems like she has another plan in mind as she drives away from the hotel building. I didn’t even bother asking at this point.

For a while, the only sound we could hear were the background music from the radio and the roaring of the engine, before she decided to speak out, “You know, I still have the photo album you gave me that day.”

I turn to face her, a soft smile plastered on my face but didn’t say anything. I knew that she probably still have it, it was kind of the reason I gave it in the first place. Who wants to give a photo album with a heartfelt letter to a person who would just throw them after a year? I know that she keeps everything that she thinks that are worth keeping. But there was always a doubt in the back of my mind that thought she threw them the second we broke up. Now that she confirms that she has kept it sort of gives me hope for something I can’t admit out loud.

I didn’t realize that we arrived at our next stop until Lauren parked the car, I was too busy staring outside in a daze. But once the car stopped, I immediately became fully aware of where we are.

The beach.