#she's mad at them because she cares! we've seen her react with anger to other people she cares about!

[captainkingsley]

i will Not comment on posts with stupid takes about Ashton I will Not,

(proceeds to ramble in my own tags because idk where else to dump this)

[ghostatas]

BENITO CHARACTER ANYLISIS THING BUT ITS NOT THAT GOOD JUST ALL MY THOUGHTS

FUCK SLEEPING I HAVE TOO MUCH ENERGY AMD THOUGHTS FOR THAT RN. ILL PROBABLY DO LUCIE NEXT IDK.

Can I just start this off by saying how good Quackity is at portraying a character and a storyline? We've seen it since dsmp, then qsmp now opq. He is just so good at it like, props to him.

Now into the juicy stuff. When we are first introduces to benito, he is kinda unlikeable. He is arrogant and cynical, thinks of himself as simply better than others. He says he will choose a soldier over a kid to save himself, and scolded the others for not being honest when they hadn't even answered yet (he was so wrong about himself). He held himself up to a standard and in very high regard.

He is constantly butting heads with Jeffrey, calling him pizza boy like he's demoting him in a way, comparing their statuses as he likes to point out he is a doctor all the time. He divides them. He is above them. Jeffrey is the lowest of the low, and he will never lower himself to that position. Yet at the end of the first episode, he doesn't want Jeffrey to die. He, despite what he says and how he justifies it and calls it research, wanted Amy (Emmi? I'll stick with Amy for now) to live. It was obvious the vials were a cure of some sort, and the papers described how it worked. He didn't need to experiment, but he wanted to save her regardless. He just didn't want to acknowledge it.

He starts to rely on the people around him. Its probably the first time he's done that. He most likely grew up in an unstable, dangerous position, which caused him to grow up into an ambitious, selfish person who didn't hesitate to step on others; or he would be the one stepped on. But now he is in a dangerous position again, however the people around him are actively trying to help eachother and supporting eachother. Benito is not used to this, and doesn't really know how to react, hence all the name calling and acting like his typical arrogant self.  He will, however, eventually think about saving their group, not just himself. He still very much distrusts others (Mikhail, Carla, though those two DEFINATLEY fukin deserved it, I'm totally still not mad about them), but he trusts the people in their circle. His people.

Enter episode 2. Benito wants mikhail DEAD, he will not trust a liar twice. But he's their only source of info, so he goes along reluctantly. Lucie dies.

Lucie dies trying to save Amy. He DESPISES Carla for trying to sabotage Amy. Not only because she tried to kill a kid, but that in turn also gave Lucie a harder time escaping. Benito says he helps Amy after that out of spite. I think it might be a part of it- a few hours won't change his entire personality- but only a part. He cares about Amy. Maybe it's because she's being forced to grow up in a world that wants to kill her all of a sudden. Maybe because she looks pitiful calling our for her dad even though she knows he's dead. Maybe it's because she reminds him of himself, ina way; just a massive ball of spite and anger and determination, all muddled up together. Who knows? What's definite though is that Lucie gave her life to protect this dumb, idiotic child, and letting the kid die would tarnish her legacy. (And isn't that a funny word, one we know Quackity likes).

Amy is Benitos priority. Whenever they're in danger, he's the first to remember her and immediately says "I'm taking her with me". Lets be real, i think we all agree that Carla was an ass for trying to kill her (we got attached to Amy too quickly it happens ik) and Benito was having none of her shit. Benito was trying to save all of them, in his own way. Because he cared, in his own fucked up spiteful way. He wants them safe, because he knows in this unknown world that suddenly got a lot more dangerous and scary, he has people that will care for and protect him and eachother.

When they all escape, benito feels like he has a purpose now. He wants to help people, or at least his family (cuz that's what they are now). He wants to properly learn medicine so he can better help those he cares about (and he cares so, so much). Maybe if he knew how to treat people better, Lucies leg would've been more healed and she couldvr run faster. Maybe they had an easier time escaping. But it's all in the past now, there's no changing that. He can only look to the future, no thinking of what ifs.

For Lucie. For Amy. For himself. For his family. (He'll continue to deny it though, cuz he's an ass. We love him for it.)

If other people want to share stuff or deny shit I say I'm all for it I just need these thoughts OUT, no matter how incoherent they are. Might do some art later too if I can be bothered :D

[alovelyburn]

do you think guts would still forgive griffith even after everything he did? and for 'everything' I mean casca's rape too

I said what I said!

Longer answer: I mean, yeah. I've written somewhat extensively about my belief that Guts would absolutely forgive Griffith if given a decent reason to (by which I mean validation and remorse). Obviously when I wrote those things I was aware of the full events of the Eclipse, and aware that Guts is aware of them, so yeah, I do. That doesn't mean he will, that's all down to plot turns.

If you're tripping over "but what about the rape' then I'm not sure I can really bridge that gap for you, but...

Guts' level of anger is never linked to moral outrage, it's linked to how hurt he feels, and that can be very variable. We've already seen that he's capable of letting go of it because that was literally his first instinct upon seeing Griffith in his humanesque form, he just talked himself back into being mad. But even then when Griffith showed up he spent half the time trying to wring remorse out of him. We also know via Miura's comment that the Eclipse would eventually lose its sting for him if Casca weren't around, point being we also know he can and would let go of it if the wound weren't constantly being kept open. Which brings me to the next point, which is...

A large part of the reason he holds onto Casca is explicitly about his not wanting to let go of Griffith. This already lays out pretty clearly that Griffith is ultimately his priority. Not to say he doesn't care about Casca, but what I'm saying is that if his investment in her and holding onto his anger about her and the Hawks is largely about not wanting to let go of Griffith, then obviously if he had Griffith that reduces his motivation to hold onto those things. Also...

He came very close to repeating the assault on her himself (and worsening since he apparently was driven to follow it up by biting her head off) specifically so that he would feel closer to/more deeply connected to Griffith. Literally repeated since both physically and mentally he was copying Femto's specific actions. Did he hate it about himself and take steps to prevent it from recurring? Absolutely, but it doesn't change that this is something about him that exists to be hated and controlled to begin with.

A lot of this just comes down to the way Guts reaches his point of outrage - it's all about how he feels about the person doing the thing and the person having the thing done to them. Guts has a hierarchy of value associated with people in his head - he'll let hundreds die to save someone he likes, and then let that person die to save someone he likes more than them. Does anyone doubt that he'd throw most of his current companions under the bus if it meant say bringing the Hawks back or saving Casca's life? Hierarchy of value. And at the top of the value pack is, and has always been, Griffith. Finally...

You can see how much his level of investment in people colors his reactions to what they do just by looking at the way he reacts to Gambino. This man abused him for years, sold him out to be raped and then tried to kill him and Guts still was never able to hate him, or stop loving him, or forgive himself for accidentally killing him. I submit that the only person he has ever valued as much as or more than Gambino... is Griffith.

That third one is huge to me, though. Because Guts isn't someone who casually goes around sexually assaulting people - even when he gets out of hand with Casca, he pulls back as soon as she reacts negatively. Yet there he was. And I'm not saying people can't be mad at other people for doing things they did, my point is the entire reason for the assault was to feel closer to/more tied to Griffith. In other words, he was willing to destroy her in order to be closer to him. That being the case, I can't fathom that he wouldn't be willing to get closer to Griffith without destroying her if given the opportunity to do so.

[angelsswirl]

Vellichor

The One With Shit and The Fan

A.N. Yall are about to be very mad at me, but it must be read.

~•~

Oh and I know

And you know that we've been here before

I think I know how it should end

We got an audience calling us crazy

You feel like a white suburban mom.

The ones that hoot and howl over every little thing in preparation for company.

You feel like that, because that's exactly what you're doing right now.

Hooting and howling over every little thing in preparation for company.

"If you move a pillow to sit on the couch, what do you do with the pillow when you're done sitting on the couch? YOU PUT THE PILLOW BACK! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU GUYS?!"

You had finally managed to convince Jisoo to agree to a civilized dinner with Taylor's parents. It involved a lot of placating and a lot of sex.

So naturally, you had to make sure the house was spic and span, because you wouldn't be caught dead in a filthy home.

Luckily, your children had pulled their own weight and helped, you were now just doing the finishing touches, like putting throw pillows in their proper place and screwing the cap on the milk jug tighter.

You also made sure to keep an eye on Jisoo just in case she decided to booby trap the place. At this point you wouldnt put it pass her.

Ryland came bouncing into the kitchen excitedly, "What did you make for dinner tonight, mommy? You got my text about the Bae-Park's dietary restrictions right?"

Despite being the second oldest, Ryland still called you 'mommy' occasionally. Especially, when she was excited or wanted something.

"Yes. Suzy and Jackson are allergic to peanuts and Taylor won't eat anything with a face. We'll see how long that lasts because you're a carnivore like your mom. And I passed it along to Lia because she cooked." You fussed around the kitchen. Dusting and swatting at imaginary dust.

"But what if mama convinced Lia to poison Chaeyoung?!"

You rolled your eyes. Did your daughter really think her mother would do something like that? Or better question. Did she really think you would let her mother do something like that?

"Jisoo has been here all day and I have her phone. I talked with Lia about everyone's needs and she made something suitable for everyone. Everything is going to be okay. Calm down, baby."

Ryland pouted, "How do you know if Chaeyoung has any restrictions? I didn't text you about her."

"We dated, remember?"

"No. I wasn't there."

"...Everything is going to be okay. Now, get out of my kitchen and set the dining room table. You might have to bring some more chairs in from the garage."

Ryland nodded.

~•~

Jisoo stared at her wife with a partially unreadable expression on her face.

She had been tricked into this. Bribed, if you will. Maybe even conned.

Sure, she was more or less fine with Taylor dating her daughter, but she wasn't really fine with spending more than an hour in a room with one of the only other people on the planet who knows what her wife looks like naked.

Great.

Her wife looks great naked. And Park Chaeyoung knew that.

She was doing her best to hide her blatant jealousy and anger but Jisoo wasn't an oscar winning actress for a reason.

"Are you getting all primped up for me or for her?" It sort of just slipped out. You had been putting on makeup for the past hour and Jisoo couldn't help but wonder.

You had never rolled your eyes harder in your life, "I'm not about to start this with you."

"You're avoiding the question."

"Because you should know the answer by now."

"For me?"

You put the finishing touches on your dark tinted red lip. Smacking them dramatically, then placing the tube of lipstick back onto the vanity.

You turned toward Jisoo with a smirk, "Oh no. For me."

Jisoo could only watch you walk out the door and into the main living area of the house.

Jisoo would try to keep the snarkiness to a minimum. If only because she's sure if she doesn't she'll never get to see your great nakedness again.

~•~

Dinner, to everyone's surprise, isn't that awkward. Probably due to the fact that Taylor easily dominated the conversation, you're a bit preoccupied with fussing over Kaleb, and Jisoo has had a full glass of red wine.

"Tay tay! How did your parents react to you telling them Ryland was your mate? Did they throw a tantrum like mama did?" Peyton asked, her mischievous smile poorly hidden behind her glass of lemonade.

Sometimes, you think Peyton forgets she still lives with you unlike her older siblings and can most definitely still be grounded. You had to resort to your signature glare, but it did the trick as Peyton slumped into her chair, thoroughly frightened.

Taylor looked confused at the question. Peyton knew the answer. They're literally best friends. She was the first one she told.

"No. Mom just mumbled that it probably made sense and then I went to go play soccer."

Ryland smiled lovingly across the table at Taylor. Lia made a gagging sound.

You thanked whatever being was listening that Peyton's chaos energy hadn't prevailed. If you thought, Ryland was your demon child while you were pregnant with her, you surely hadn't seen anything yet.

"Okay, why don't all of you kids, go do whatever it is you do in the livingroom. Mom doesn't need you to see her scarf down an entire bottle of merlot in one gulp." You mumbled that last part under your breath.

Everyone but Lia left the table, happy to be excused.

You stared at her blankly.

"I'm 22."

You're not exactly sure why but your patience is wearing thin quickly.

"Did I ask how old you were?"

"No, ma'am. Excuse me." She bowed her head dramatically before grabbing Kaleb and scurrying from the table.

"Kids. So....interesting." Chaeyoung said in an attempt to break the silence.

"Yeah. I keep telling myself that my reward for not killing them are future grandchildren. Well, actually. I'm already terrified of whatever Peyton procreates."

Both Chaeyoung and Suzy laugh at your joke.

"So, how'd you two meet?" Jisoo asked inbetween sips of her wine. She wasn't even looking in Chaeyoung and Suzy's direction, if only because it was sort of hard to peer around you in their positions.

You tried to listen for answers, you really did, but your reasoning for the irritability comes to light. You're sweating and almost slumped over into Jisoo, but you somehow managed to keep yourself upright.

Jisoo and Chaeyoung's eyes snapped to you at the same time. And the last time you felt this much dread, was when you found out that Jisoo and Chaeyoung found out about each other.

It's almost like you see Chaeyoung's mouth move in slow motion. You will her not to say anything, just let you silently excuse yourself from the table and take your suppressants, but no. Things were never easy when it came to Chaeyoung and Jisoo.

Chaeyoung offhandedly mumbled "That's familiar." She doesn't really mean anything by it. You knew that, hell even Suzy knew that.

But you can see the glass in Jisoo's hand start to shake.

"What did you just say?"

"Huh? Oh nothing. I didn't mean anything by it, Jisoo. I swear."

"Chu...let it go." You do your best to calm her down with a light touch to her thigh.

"It's no big deal. It was stupid I shouldn't have said it."

"You fucking my wife isn't a big deal?"

"Jisoo! What the hell?" You stared at your alpha who seemed to be looking right through you to Chaeyoung. The pent up anger in her eyes was quite astonishing.

"What's your problem, Jisoo? It's been years and the only one who still fucking cares is you." Chaeyoung said with a shake of her head.

"My problem is you."

Chaeyoung rolled her eyes, "I'm married with two beautiful kids. I don't want y/n and she doesn't want me. Grow up."

Chaeyoung gathered her belongings and gestured for her wife to follow her. Suzy did so reluctantly, she shot a glance of sympathy toward you but otherwise didn't say anything.

The family left, two confused children in tow.

You swallowed harshly, it was surprisingly easy to fight off your heat instincts considering you wanted very little to do with the person that's supposed to help you through that.

"Well. Congratulations."

Jisoo's brows furrowed, not in the least bit surprised when you dont elaborate.

You got up from the table without a word. You headed to the livingroom and poked your head in, "Peyton, do you mind cleaning up the table. You don't have to do the dishes, just put them in the sink. Thank you." Abigail and Ryland stared after you.

Peyton set about doing the task without any fan fare.

You then hurried into your bedroom. Wiping at your eyes and your makeup.

You knew Jisoo had followed you. Probably wanting an explanation about what you said.

"Why can't you just let it go? It's been twenty years. You said you were over it, but every time you're even slightly reminded you blow up. You know how sorry I am but it feels like I'm still being punished."

"You slept with her. You're mine and you slept with her." Jisoo looked at you like she didn't understand how you didn't get that.

"I'm yours now. I wasn't back then. Even if you imprinted on me I wasn't your mate. I wasn't even your girlfriend. I didn't cheat on you. Why does everything I did have to be some slight against you?"

Jisoo huffed, "You knew I loved you. You led me on you made me think that it was only me. That you were only going to choose me."

"What did I ever say to make you think that? Was marrying you not enough? Is being your mate not enough? Those three beautiful babies not enough?"

"We have four kids."

"Oh, hop off it. You know that's not what I meant."

Jisoo doesn't say anything further. She only stares at some point passed your head.

"Am I not enough for you, Jisoo? Because I don't know what else I can give you. I gave you my life, my love, my womb. But it's still not enough for you. What else do you want from me?!" You tried not to raise your voice too much, but it was sort of a hard feat to accomplish around your tears.

"To go back in time and not sleep with her. To say she never meant anything to you."

"Oh. You want the impossible." You nodded slowly, not agreeing in the slightest. But you got it now.

"Say it."

"You know I can't."

"Say it, y/n."

"We told each other that we would never lie to each other, and I'll be damned if I start now."

"...Then tell me to leave."

"Jisoo."

"I need to go, but I can't do it unless you tell me to."

You choked on a sob, "Fine. Go. Just know, if you walk out of that front door everything that I have said tonight, will be proven right."

That got Jisoo to hesitate. To rethink breifly. But the alpha is telling her to go before she does something she really regrets. So, she leaves. And the pain that encompasses her heart is nothing like she had ever felt in her life.

You heard the door slam shut and with it, Peyton walked into the room. You pretend that you dont see the tears in each other's eyes, "Mommy?" Her omega is calling out to yours, probably more than she realized.

She's technically a pup and she needs comfort, so even though you felt like curling up into a ball and dying you give it to her.

She practically falls into your lap and she sniffled. Your and Jisoo's bond isn't broken by any means, but even the children can tell there's something not quite right.

"I didn't mean for you to hear that, baby girl."

"Are you two going to be okay? I've never seen mama that mad before."

And that question coming from her daughter seemed to hurt the most, "I hope so, Pey. I hope so."