#she's known for flipping off dudes in huge trucks

[reverieaudios]

Without meeting her, you might think that Lauren, being one of Casey's best friends, would be a soft spoken, gentle, almost maternal person who was able to carefully coax him out of his shell and into a friendship

In reality she drives way too fast while blasting hyperpop in her barely functional 1980 vw vanagon and if you handed her a baby she'd hold it at arms length while visibly cringing

And her and Casey originally bonded over talking shit about a mutually hated classmate (her shit-talking was much more... colorful... than Casey's)

[anna-justice]

Lost or Found - 6

Summary: As Jay, Hailey, Kim, Adam and Kevin start their junior year in the wake of a tragic summer, the past year of their lives comes back to haunt them. If you enjoyed Pretty Little Liars, this is for you! *UPSTEAD/BURZEK High School AU

...

6 - Born to Die

...

“You can’t be serious Hailey.” Jay said as they pulled out of the school parking lot. Hailey had booked it to the truck after her sudden realization and was still very shaken up.

She turned to face him. “I am! Jay, I’ve heard that voice in my nightmares. It has to be him. He’s connected to all of this somehow.” Hailey sat back in her seat and pressed her hand lightly to her neck, remembering the night she was attacked.

“I’ve known Severide for years, his dad’s a firefighter. He’s a great guy. There is no way he is wrapped up in all this.” Jay couldn’t wrap his head around any of it.

“I know what I heard, he attacked me that night.” Hailey said confidently. 

Jay sighed, “This isn’t the first thing you’ve been sure of this week.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“The whole Nadia thing,” Jay explained, “You were so sure that it was her, we saw her today when the texts were sent. It couldn’t be. You’re grasping for anything to explain this Hailey.”

Hailey was sure there was steam coming out of her ears. “That’s not fair.” Jay kept quiet this time. “Last time I checked, you asked for my help and we are trying to solve your girlfriend's case. Don’t get mad at me because I’m looking at facts.” 

Jay wasn’t sure what to say. She was right, she didn’t have any sort of emotional connection to anyone. She was purely objective. “I know, I’m sorry. It’s just, Erin and Kelly were really good friends. I couldn’t imagine him hurting her.”

“I didn’t say he hurt her, I’m saying that he hurt me.” Hailey’s words struck hard. It almost felt like a switch flipped inside of him. He hurt Hailey. Jay hadn’t realized how attached to her he had gotten, she had been his rock the past few weeks. And something else felt new as well: the phrase “girlfriend” didn’t sit well with him anymore. She had been gone almost four months now, she hadn’t really been his girlfriend in a long time. It wasn’t like he was happy either, he was thinking about ending things and kissing Hailey that night was the final straw. He wanted to kiss someone else, he enjoyed kissing someone else. He was going to break up with her that night, and he didn’t get the chance. So now, he’s still playing the role of the heartbroken boy with the missing girlfriend and even Hailey believed it.

His eyes landed on her again at the next red light, her eyes were watery, her gaze fixed on her lap. “And he’s not going to again.” He reached over the center console and placed a comforting hand on hers. He earned a small smile in return. 

Hailey wanted to be mad a little longer, but she couldn’t be. As much as she loved her friends, and Chicago, she didn’t grow up there like the rest of them. She didn’t know many people outside of her tight knit circle, accusing Nadia or Kelly was easy for her in a way. The rest of them had to handle the betrayal along with the fear. 

The pair opted to go to her house, and Hailey ignored the feeling in her stomach as they stepped over the threshold. She had become accustomed to Jay being around, it wasn’t strange for them to end up at each other’s houses or just riding around town with milkshakes. They spent a lot of time together and she could feel herself starting to get attached, which was a hard no in her book. 

Throwing their backpacks down by the door they made their way to the kitchen, where Jay helped himself to the box of donuts on her counter. Her aunt had bought them to celebrate the first day of school, but they were using them to mourn the summer. 

“So why doesn’t Greg hang out with us?” Hailey asked, breaking the silence. 

Jay wiped the chocolate frosting from his face before responding. “He’s homeschooled, his dad’s in the military so they move around a lot, but they keep an apartment here. He’s pretty shy, he used too, but he and Erin didn’t really get along.”

Hailey noticed the sad look on his face, “You should bring him around more often. He seems cool.”

“I don’t want to bring him into all of this.” Jay said, only half lying. He knew that he had helped with the text, but he drew the line there. Not only that, but Greg and Jay had known each other for a long time, they knew exactly how screwed up each other were, and they were both happy to keep things just between them. 

Hailey nodded and handed him another donut, which he gladly accepted, eating his feelings seemed like a great solution for the time being.

…

Kim sat on Adam’s bed, scrolling through instagram while Adam talked to his mom on the phone. They were at his dad’s house and his mom wasn’t very happy about it. It hurt Kim to watch Adam struggle through his parents divorce, it was only finalized a few months ago and he wasn’t doing very well with splitting time. 

They spent most of their time at his dad’s when they weren’t at her house, her parents adored him and Adam liked the weekly family dinners and the sense of stability that came with them. His mom wasn’t a big fan of Kim, she saw her as another person that was in the way of her getting all of his attention. Not that Adam was fond of giving her any, her substance abuse was quickly eating away at their relationship. 

Adam through his phone on the bed next to Kim, causing her to look up at him. He was obviously stressed and she took it as an invitation to wrap her arms around him. He gladly accepted the embrace, placing his chin on the top of her head. After a few minutes, Kim looked up at him. “You okay?”

“I am now.” He smirked, hugging her a bit tighter. 

Kim pulled away, leaving her hands on his elbows. “I’m being serious. Are you okay?”

Adam groaned and pulled her down next to him on his bed. “I guess, I’m just fed up with my mom starting fights.” Kim took his hand in hers, brushing her thumb over the back of it. “And my dad is choosing to ignore her, so I have to play damage control.” 

“I’m so sorry.” 

He gave her a weak smile. “I know we all have way bigger problems right now, but I’m so sick of it all. I’m their kid, this isn’t my job.”

“Hey,” Kim said, pacing her hand on his jaw. “Don’t do that, we can’t focus on that all the time or we’ll go crazy. Plus, what are we gonna do? You are allowed to be upset, no matter what else is going on.”

“You’re amazing, you know that?”

Kim smirked, “I’ve been told a few times.” She squealed as Adam grabbed her by the waist and pulled her towards him, placing his lips on hers. She responded immediately, her hand finding the nape of his neck while his stayed on her waist. Somewhere in the middle, she ended up on her back on the bed with Adam hovering over her. She pulled him closer to her, which caused him to lose his balance and fall slightly top of her. They collapsed in a fit of laughter, Adam rolling over to lay on his back beside her. 

He looked over at her, a huge grin on his face. “This may be a little fast but,” his hand found hers, “I love you, Kim.” 

Kim was frozen for a second. She thought that she had imagined him saying it like she had a million times before. “Is this real?” She asked, rolling on her side to face him.

“It better be.” Adam joked, chuckling nervously. This was what he was afraid of, that she didn’t feel the same way. He was shocked when she jumped him, kissing him with more intensity than ever before.

“I love you too.” She said grinning, and suddenly Adam was on top of her all over again.

…

Kevin was sitting with some of the guys from the team at a local diner, they decided to go grab burgers after practice. They were laughing, joking, having a great time, well, everyone but Kevin.

He was worried about Vinessa, his little sister, constantly. Everyone else that was being threatened had at least a shot at defending themselves, she was just a kid. He had always been over protective of her, and his brother, Jordan. He was almost ten years older than him, Vinessa being only three. His mom was a single mom, working two jobs to keep their house, his dad left right after he was born and Jordan and Vinessa’s bolted before her first birthday. So Kevin was the closest thing to a father figure that they had. 

“Dude, did you see Decotis today? Damn that girl got hot.” One of his teammates asked.

The running back, Connor, grimaced. “I don’t know man, did you hear what Halstead said?” He asked. “I”m staying away, I wouldn’t put it past Sampson to sleep with a student. What do you think Kev?” Kevin wasn’t paying any attention, he was mindlessly staring down his drink. “Kev?”

He snaps his head up, having no idea what they were asking him. “Uh, I don’t know.” 

“Were you even paying attention?” Connor asks, laughing.

Kevin shakes his head, the rest of the group not noticing the lack of enthusiasm he was giving off. He wasn’t sure what he was going to do to protect his siblings, but he did know that in order to get to them, they would have to go through him. 

…

Hailey woke up the next morning feeling surprisingly well rested. School was giving her a sense of normalcy that she had lost in the past few weeks. She showered and got ready quickly, bounding down the stairs ready to tackle the day.

Thankfully, she wouldn’t have to sit next to Severide in class today and she was sure that between her and Jay, she could find a way to avoid him. 

When she entered the kitchen, she found her aunt and uncle sitting at their usual spot at the table, but Randall was looking a little more disheveled than usual after shift. She leaned against the island, “Everything okay?”

“Hailey.” Trudy said, just then noticing her presence. 

Randall looked up with a sad look in his eyes. “Come sit down kiddo.” 

Hailey sat down hesitantly. “What’s going on? Is Jay okay? Kim, Adam? Kevin?” She began to panic, ignoring the fact that the first person to come to her mind was a certain Halstead. 

“Yes.” Trudy said, placing a hand over Hailey’s shaky one. “They are all fine. Randall…” She dragged off, nodding to her husband.

Randall turned his whole body towards his niece. “Last night, around Midnight, we responded to a residential fire on Wabash. It was an old abandoned house, one of the last ones on the street. The basement was full of paper materials and electronics like computers, so with an accelerant it went up fast and burned hot.” He took a breath, “It’s already been turned over to fire investigation for arson, but, I wanted you to know that we pulled a body from the fire.”

Hailey knew what house he was talking about, she and Jay had been there just last week, but she played dumb. “I don’t understand, what does that have to do with me?” 

“Hailey, they think it’s Erin.”

…

A/N: I know that the family dynamics are a little different than they are on the show, but I had to alter them a bit to fit this storyline! Thanks for reading!

[danetobelieve]

If A Seal Falls In The Woods || Ricky and Winston

It had been immediately disturbing to Ricky when he’d received the text from Winston that they were in the hospital having suffered an attack by one of the many night-dwelling creatures that seemed to get entirely too brazen these days. It’d gotten more disturbing when Winston had mentioned it had been a rawhead and Ricky had looked that creature up. Nightmares for days. But either way he’d quickly offered to pick his roommate up from the hospital when they were ready to be discharged and after getting permission to go in Winston’s room (which was just as impeccably kept as Ricky had thought it would be) he had rolled up to the hospital with a change of clothes, a bag full of tacos, and a giant bunch of balloons and flowers. Because if you were going to pick your roommate/one of your best friends up from the hospital you had to do it in style. When Winston limped through the hospital lobby towards him Ricky’s face split into a bright grin, “The warrior lives!” He crowed, dashing forward to loop one of Winston’s arms over his shoulder to help him along, “I brought gifts.”  

Honestly, Winston was a little disappointed that a little gremlin fucker that they hadn’t even been able to deal with had been what had finally put them in the hospital. Fortunately they only needed a few stitches and they were good, but they weren’t sure how the stitches were take or something like that and had insisted that Winston stay for observation for a little while. Shiloh had long gone and Winston needed a ride home. But fortunately Ricky would always come in clutch for the stuff like this and had immediately offered to come get them. As they noticed their friend with a load of flowers and balloons, Winston grinned before pulling them into a hug as they were enveloped into their friends embrace. “Warrior seems like an over statement, I’d have definitely had worse done to me if Shiloh hadn’t literally carried me to safety, which reminds me, definitely need to get her a thank you gift for this.” They smelled the tacos before noticing the bag in Ricky’s hand. “And you brought my favourite, what exactly did I do to deserve this?” 

Ricky returned the hug tightly, nose wrinkling as the smell of antiseptic sharply assaulted his sensitive sense of smell. “You survived a battle with a great and horrifying beast, I googled them, I’m going to have to sleep with the light on now because those little fuckers seem fucking horrific. You’re a warrior.” He passed off the balloons and flowers as they worked their way slowly towards the car, “I’ll add it to the shopping list we’ve got on the fridge. Thank you gift for gallant rescue. Right under the smoked salmon and cream cheese we need.” He held the bag of tacos out as they reached the truck and he half-lifted Winston into it so they wouldn’t have to put weight on their injured ankle. “You’re one of my best friends and you’re out of the hospital, you deserve all the tacos. That’s just the rules. I didn’t make them I just adhere to them.” 

Winston shrugged. “I had a weird bestiary book in my bag from the Scribe place and I was able to find some info on them, otherwise I wouldn’t have known what they were. I’m just glad that it didn’t come after my bones because I kind of need those.” They winced as they placed their leg down and shifted from one side to the other, slightly in pain. “Can you just get a bunch of vodka? I’m gonna try making skittle vodka and then even if she doesn’t like that then you and I can just get fucked up.” Winston felt slightly less embarrassed to accept Ricky’s help then they had being bodily carried about by Shiloh. She was strong as fuck and Winston was somewhat surprised by just how strong she had been. “Well, thank you for buying me tacos and I’m sure you got yourself some because you know I don’t want to eat this shit alone.” Winston didn’t pause as they unwrapped the first soft shell taco and stuffed it straight into their mouth. “Fucfff,” they swore around a mouthful of beef, “thif if somf goof shif.” 

“Ah yes. The spooky old abandoned Scribe headquarters. Which… by the way…. Would be a great set piece for a Scooby Doo episode.” Ricky involuntarily shivered “I am also glad they didn’t come after your fucking bones, which is a horrifying statement to have to utter out loud.” Starting up the car he chuckled under his breath, “Yeah dude. I’ll grab some skittles and a handle of vodka and we can make some skittles vodka. If she doesn’t like it you and I will get drunk and game and ignore the constant night outside, which I assume is why that fucking lovecraftian nightmare was roaming out and about and not hiding in some nightmare pocket dimension avoiding the sun.” As they pulled out of the parking lot of the hospital and onto the main drag Ricky pulled his own bag of tacos out and set them on the center console between them, unwrapping one and taking a giant bite out of it, “You know I did. Can’t ever turn down tacos. Even if I make better tacos sometimes you just want garbage food. So do you need special medimagical care for that wound?” 

Winston swallowed their mouthful of food. “Hey, we got the power going again and we also started cleaning up the kitchen and the bedrooms and the obviously the library but that thing is so huge that it would probably take a life time to fully do it with just us, but we’re making progress.” Winston was shocked at just how things had changed since the beginning of the year. Ever since that fateful night where they had been attacked by that fire breathing dog -- they really needed to work out what that had been because calling it a fire breathing dog sounded lame -- everything was now different. They had actually embraced the change as well. “Thanks dude, I’d come with you but walking isn’t exactly my favourite thing to do right now,” they nodded down at their leg, careful not to allow the filling of their taco to go everywhere, “but I feel like it’s a win win either way, besides we could just make extra for you and me.” They smirked gently as they filled their mouth and swallowed before speaking once more. “I don’t know, healing magic is really complicated and I don’t fuck with it that much, the doctor’s seemed to think that it was fine, they gave me a tetanus shot just incase, but thankfully I’m still under my parents insurance so that won’t kill me with debt.” They sighed gently and settled into their seat as they drove. “I’m ready for this perpetual night shit to end.” 

 “I know this will sound sarcastic but I legit love that you and Rio found a spooky old abandoned library place thing and you’re turning it into your secret clubhouse. That’s a big mood and I’m all about it. If there’re any repairs you need done inside I can probably help with those, if you want. I’m a pretty decent handyman.” They continued through the murky pitch of the day which was starting to seriously fuck with Ricky’s circadian rhythm. The glowing clock in the dash said it was only 2:30 in the afternoon, but the endless night made it seem very much like it was the middle of the night, “Fucking tell me about it. My body is like hey… it’s time for fucking bed, and the clock is like mmmmmmm maybe not quite yet bucko.” He’d been about to comment on how fortunate the insurance thing was when a tree came crashing down from the forest on their left, forcing Ricky to swerve into the underbrush or risk getting the hood of the truck absolutely obliterated, “What the ever loving fuck?!” he managed to gasp out, as he coughed aspirated taco out of his lungs. He threw the truck into park, looking cautiously at the tree lying in their path, “That’s not…. Hmm. Stay in the truck.” He popped his teeth out, running his tongue over freshly exposed fangs and grabbing a decently-sized hunting knife from its spot under his seat. One of the downsides to the eternal night was it had made everything so quiet, normal animals didn’t quite know how to act in it, but even in that silence he couldn’t hear the thing that reached an incredibly powerful tail down from the trees and slammed him across the road into the side of the truck, “f-fuck” he gasped out as the creature came into view, hooked feet adhering it in defiance of gravity to a nearby tree, “FUCK!” he tried quickly to flip through his mental catalogue of supernatural creatures until this one fit against a definition, “asanbosam!” before he could scramble back into the truck the tail had wrapped around his ankle and was dragging him across the asphalt. 

“You are right,” Winston replied with a shake of their head, “that did sound very sarcastic. But if you want to start helping with some stuff, as long as Rio is cool with it then I think we could use all of the help we can get. There’s a lot to do and just having an extra person doing it would definitely help.” Winston was starting to get used to the perpetual night, but it didn’t make things any less depressing, actually getting used to it was possibly more depressing. “Constantly, I constantly feel like I might drift off to sleep at any point. The rest of the time my body is asking why it is the middle of the night and yet it knows it’s not.” Their conversation was cut short by a tree falling through the forest on their left, as Ricky swerved their truck through the ferns and bushes of the forest, Winston tried to find the words to describe how they felt. ONce more, the only one that really covered things was the word fuck. “Fuck, fuck fuck fuck fuck, are you okay dude?” they asked, making sure that they too were relatively intact. “What the fuck happened?” They’d heard the crash and they’d seen the tree fall, but they couldn’t tell you why it had. When Ricky told them to stay in the truck, well of course Winston didn’t listen. After all that would require them to be sensible, grabbing one of the crutches that the hospital had armed them with, they got out just in time to see a tail whip out and knock Ricky flying across the road and slamming into the truck as Winston had stepped away from the door. Winston was glad that they had eaten most of their tacos already, they were going to need the calories. “I don’t know what that is!” Winston snapped back as they summoned their powers and shielded their eyes, “Shut your eyes, I’m using a flashbang,” they muttered something in Latin and clicked their fingers. There was a bright flash, and Winston watched the tail that had wrapped around Ricky’s ankle release it’s grip, starting forward, Winston tried to get close to their friend to help them up, but they were slow and even more clumsy then normal leaning on their crutch. Why did this shit always happen to them? Sweat poured down their back from the magical exertion and they already felt kind of tired, they really needed to practice magic more so they didn’t die of exhaustion with even the simplest spells. “We should run, I don’t know how many more spells I’ve got in me dude.”

Ricky had never felt the sensation of being flung into a truck before, and honestly wasn’t about to recommend it to his friends, because it was a giant pile of awful. He coughed in agony as he watched Winston clamber out of the truck “I said stay in the truck, idiot!” he screwed his eyes shut against the flash that emanated from his friend, listening to the chattering of iron teeth as the asanbosam reacted negatively to the light. The tail released itself momentarily but Ricky knew it was only a matter of time before it recovered from the flash, “Tree hunter.” He gasped out, fairly confident that the initial collision with the truck had at least fractured something, “Don’t let it…” the rest of his warning was cut off as the tail found him again, slamming him down against the fallen tree as the horrifying face of the asanbosam drew closer, “STAY AWAY FROM THE TREES.” He shouted out, remembering something his grandmother had told him as he watched his horrific hooked feet dig into the tree trunk, “It can’t walk on flat ground well. In the truck…” He slashed at the creature’s tail with the knife, trying to get away from it as it stalked slowly toward him, glittering metal teeth flashing against the headlights, “Rosary. Rear view mirror. Throw it to me. Please hurry. These things aren’t known for kindness.” The knife sunk deep into the tail, deep enough that it pinned the tail to the tree and he heard an anguished hiss, the tail going slack enough for him to start dragging himself towards the truck again.

“If I had stayed in the truck then you would be currently getting dragged away to your death,” Winston snapped back as pain ricocheted up their leg from the exertion that they had placed on it, “so forgive me for saving your life. Just cause your handsome and muscular doesn’t mean that you always get to play the hero.” Winston’s eyes did their best to adjust to the new found darkness and they suddenly wished that they had hit this thing with something harder that could've stopped it in its tracks. Winston was watching concerned as Ricky once more was dragged away into the darkness, but they weren’t about to stay away from the trees when their friend needed help. Ricky was saying something about staying away from the trees and how it couldn’t walk on flat ground and then something about a rosary. A rosary was a cross. Why did Ricky want a rosary? “I’m not sure that this is the time to pray,” Winston said as they reached into the cab of the truck and wrenched it off of the rear view mirror before starting to limp over to their friend, “Hey, tree hugger!” they screeched in the creatures direction, a second later they caused another flash, this time in front of the things eyes, praying that it would be enough to get over to Ricky in time. Sweat wet their brow and trickled down their temple, gasping raggedly for breath, Winston stumbled towards their friend. “Why do you want the rosary?” they asked as they got within throwing distance, “I really don’t think that god is about to intervene on your behalf.”

“Do you think this is the first time I’ve been dragged to my death?!” Ricky snapped out in agony, “This is not the moment to argue about my fucking hero complex, Winston!” Ricky had been pushing himself to his knees when he heard Winston grousing about the practicality of asking for intercession in the middle of a monster attack, “It’s not for me!” the second flash went off just as brightly as the first and as spots swam in front of his vision he saw the rosary clatter to the ground in front of him, “I don’t fear god, but vamps fucking do.” as he rotated to attempt to whip at the creature with the metal crucifix the ansanbosam’s tail caught him again, flipping him into the air and onto his back, stunning him long enough for its owner to leap from tree to his chest, one hooked foot landing square on the right side of his chest. There was a very distinct crack, and a very distinct piercing pain, and then a very loud scream. Or maybe the scream came first. Ricky couldn’t remember. It took him several long seconds to figure out the scream was coming from his own throat. He coughed up some blood onto his shirt, but recovered just enough to see that the creature had brought itself well within attack range. “Pater fucking noster…” he gasped out as he tied the rosary as tightly as he could around the vampire’s ankle. Which had the intended effect as the monster’s red eyes went wide and it scrambled back to the tree canopy, howling with fury and fear as it clawed at the symbol tangled in its fur. He managed to drag himself back to the truck, the short gasps he was able to breathe in confirming his fear, “I think…. That fucker… punctured my lung….. Hospital. Please. Real quick.” 

“As you have yet to die,” Winston replied with a shake of their head, “then yes it appears that this would be your first time being dragged away to your death and we don’t even know if you’re being dragged away to your death yet, not if I have anything to do with it.” They weren’t about to let their best friend get killed by something that went from tree to tree. This wasn’t Assassins Creed III. “It’s a vampire?” Winston asked, suddenly completely understanding what it was that they were doing with the rosary, “why the hell didn’t you say that sooner?” they asked as they wished they had been able to get this thing the religious iconography a little bit sooner, maybe it would’ve been able to help them sooner. Winston’s breath was ragged as they leaned upon the crutch and took a long moment to attempt to compose themselves. Then Ricky was screaming and there was blood pooling on his shirt. Winston was reaching into themselves, gathering the energy to do something and then the thing was scurrying away. Winston raced to Ricky’s side, the adrenaline enveloping them and making them forget about the pain that they were feeling. “Fuck, fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.” Winston pulled off the plaid shirt they had been wearing over a t-shirt and pressed it against the wound on Ricky’s chest, “you need to compress this shit hard, you know first aid, you gotta stop the blood.” Leaning on their crutch, Winston pulled Ricky up to their feet, they would look back at this unsure how they’d managed it all things considered and wrapped their arm tightly around their friend, leading them back to the truck and pushing them into the back seat. “Keep the fucking pressure on it,” they said as they got in the front seat and revved the engine before tearing off towards the hospital.” 

It was a strange sensation to be in his own truck, wavering closer and closer to unconsciousness, with someone else driving it. Ricky had Winston’s shirt pressed tightly to his chest, though, from what he could tell the asanbosam’s claws hadn’t pierced straight through to his lung. From the incredibly agonizing shifting of bone every time they hit a bump it seemed like it had been his ribcage that had done that particular piece of work, crushed by the monster’s weight, “Winston.” he managed to gasp out in between bumps that made his vision black out momentarily “You have to tell the hospital…” the words trailed off momentarily as his grip on lucidity got a little bit hazy, “tell the admissions desk…. Code Umbra patient.” He struggled to sit up and look at Winston in the rear view mirror, “Tell them I’m a Code Umbra. Admissions knows…. They’ll get the right doctors. The ones who know. Who can keep secrets.” He laid back down, spitting a gob of blood onto the floor of the truck, “Gonna have to get this detailed. I think I left a dent in the side. God dammit. Fucking vampires. What the fuck is one of those doing in Maine? Those are…. West African boogeymen vampires. I have to tell Sky. No trees. Stay away from trees”  

Winston’s fingers gripped the steering wheel with a vice grip. They couldn’t lose Ricky and they weren’t about to risk them getting hurt just because Winston couldn’t get them to the hospital quick enough. They really wished that they had spent some time learning a bit more then the fundamental theory of how healing magic worked. Maybe they could’ve done something for their friend. “Don’t worry, Code Umbra, got it.” They weren’t going to leave their friends side for the whole time that this was happening and if anyone tried to make them then they would have something else to deal with that was more severe then a selkie that was bleeding, “you’re overreacting,” they had to keep Ricky awake and conscious, they had to keep them fighting, “you know that Skye is going to be completely fine, but I’ll tell her just to be safe anyway, but you’re going to be fine, I’m going to be fine and I’m also going to find someone to take care of that fucker.” They weren’t sure what the hell a West African boogeyman vampire was, but they weren’t going to let it hurt someone else. These things were animals. Maybe this is why hunters and slayers existed, to deal with … this. 

Ricky raised a hand to give Winston a shaky thumbs up from the back seat, grimacing at the amount of blood covering it, “Oh well that’s not good.” He’d been trying to count the minutes, to get some sense of how close they were to the hospital and safety, but had given up after the fifth bump in the road made him lose control of his mind for a second. But they had to be getting close. “Am I, Winnie?” His voice was a ragged rasping shred he barely recognized “Am I really overreacting? Really? I think the small puddle of blood staining my upholstery begs to fucking differ.” That much conversation made his vision swim with brightly colored spots, which would have been nice and akin to a good trip if he hadn’t been in the apparently slow and laborious process of actually dying. “I think… I think they’re solitary hunters. I don’t think they’re pack vamps. So. Probably just the one. But still. Woods are dangerous now. Gramma said they were pretty brutal fuckers…. And it seems she was right.” When Winston mentioned taking care of the asanbosam Ricky bolted in his seat, yelping slightly in pain, “No no no you can’t. You’re not strong enough yet. Let some expendable dickbag hunter do it.” He could see the glowing lights of the hospital coming into view up ahead of them “Oh good. I can pass out now. That’s gonna be nice” 

The bollocking that Ricky would have normally gotten from Winston for calling them Winnie was immediately forgotten. Their friend was bleeding out in the backseat and in this instance Winston decided that was enough for them to get a free pass and call them a nickname that they would not have normally allowed. “Okay, maybe you’re not overreacting, maybe this is a little more proportional then i would like to admit but I am trying to be positive because a fucking west african tree vampire attacked you. SO FORGIVE ME?!” Winston didn’t listen to Ricky’s advice. Besides they knew that their friend was definitely not in a position to stop them and if Winston was going to have to deal with this shit then they were going to deal with it on their own turns. Screeching into the parking lot of the hospital, Winston sped to the front doors and skid to a halt. Kicking their door open, they leaped out and start screaming for help. “HEY, SOMEONE FUCKING HELP ME MY FRIENDS BEEN FUCKING HURT FUCK WHERE ARE YOU NO GOOD FUCKS SOMEONE FUCKING HELP!” Wrenching the door open, they reached inside to help Ricky out, doing their best to carry most of his fucking weight, which was way too much muscle for Winston realisitcally to manage on their own. 

“If I live, I’ll forgive you.” A sudden thought gripped him and as they skidded to a halt in front of the hospital, Ricky started to drag himself out of the truck, gripping Winston’s shirt tightly, and staring at him with a fervent honesty, “If I die. Winston…” a wracking breath shook him as they tried to move slowly towards the door, the pain white hot inside his chest, “Stay in the house and take care of Dee. My skin…” an ill timed cough spattered blood on the white concrete in front of the building, “Is under the floor of the workshop. Under my drafting table. Safe combo. Is Dee’s birthday. 8. 17. 53. I have to be wrapped in it and burned.” He could see an orderly hurrying towards them with a wheelchair and he started to head towards them, vision blurring, “Do not let them put me in the ground. Please. Living will. On file with Dee’s attorney.” He collapsed into the offered wheelchair, still holding the now soaked shirt to his chest, “Don’t go after it. Please. I can’t lose anymore of my family.” 

[five-wow]

aaand my 9.18 thoughts! there are many of them. this is the episode with danny’s mother in law and it was... a ride.

half naked sweaty man growls at random cars in the dark - is this teen wolf? twilight? so many possibilities

half naked sweaty man just got hit by a truck in a way he probably won’t survive if he’s not actually a werewolf. i don’t recall that ever happening in twilight, gosh.

we get steve and danny arriving at the hilton! this i’ve seen, because it was one of the preview clips, but i do like it a lot. i also like that steve implies that danny has been holding the liver donation over steve’s head constantly for favors, because a) we haven’t actually seen danny do that in recent times as far as i remember? like, at all? but mostly: b) this opens up endless fic opportunities about the many and varied Things Danny Asks Steve To Do to repay him for, and I quote danny here, “the gift of life”. that’s beautifully dramatic. nice choice of words.

and another thing: steve is claiming that this is the last favor he’ll do for danny and then they’ll be even, but come on, steve, honey. we all know who you are. we’ve all seen you agree to run a flipping restaurant with danny. like you’re going to tell him no after this, next time he asks you to do something ridiculous

danny: “your naive optimism is uh, is very cute.” steve: [looks at danny sideways for a moment too long]

danny is trying to tell steve that his mother in law tortured him his entire marriage and steve’s not really getting it, so that’s Not Good, but i’m skipping past that for the moment and hopping straight into “what are you gonna do? just tell me.” / “i’m gonna stand there and look handsome and not say anything.” because that is Good. i rambled about this in the tags of some post, i think, but i love how steve’s response is clearly rehearsed and probably something danny fed him pretty literally (“[don’t just] stand there and look handsome” is an exact phrase danny used earlier this season, even), which is something all kinds of things could be said about in general, but also means that danny indirectly called steve cute AND handsome in the span of maybe a minute of this episode. wherever this ends up, at least it has a good start

this DANGER! DANGER! music when rachel’s mother opens the door both made me laugh with how unexpectedly over the top it was and has me kind of tired of the setup of this plotline already. terrible, horrible mother in law stories? i’m not a huge fan

alright, so i’m ignoring all the prickly passive-agressive behavior from rachel’s mom towards danny for the moment because ugh, and what i like far better anyway is how well steve is keeping to his mission to stand sit there and look handsome and not say anything. he even LOOKS AT DANNY FOR PERMISSION when rachel’s mom asks him a direct question that he can’t answer with stoic, handsome silence.

the first words out of steve’s mouth are, of course, “daniel’s my partner”. when are they not. (though he did remember the “we work together” bit this time, which is rare)

he called danny “daniel” and introduces himself as “steven” which cracks me up for no good reason. i guess he’s trying to be fancy?

i... i... you know, i just don’t really know what to say about the way rachel’s mom (amanda savage, i think? let’s call her amanda) snubs danny every chance she gets and flirts with steve in this extremely, well, almost stereotypical “rich older woman on the prowl” way. idk, i really think meeting rachel’s mom could have been very interesting, but with the way this character was written and behaves, she’s pretty much a caricature. not even in a way that’s clever or funny to me, just in a way that really tires me out because it’s mean and not very interesting and every so slightly misogynistic.

steve: “i can handle myself.” amanda, leering: “i bet you can.” danny: YEP ALRIGHT i’m going to jump in here with an unnecessary defense of steve that sounds like i’m boasting about him.

steve thinks danny needs to relax. oh boy. oh babe. that’s maybe not... quite the right way to handle this situation where your bff is very clearly being put down repeatedly by a woman that he’s been telling you (also repeatedly) that he has a bad history with. on the other hand, you know, i could almost make steve’s reaction here make sense for myself, because amanda reminds me of steve’s own mom in certain ways and steve’s never been good at standing up against doris or seeing her shit for what is really is either, so. gosh. boy has some issues. (but danny still REALLY deserves better support than this, so get over it, steve.)

why the random single word of italian, steve, omg. danny’s “kiss ass” was very deserved.

junior: “the killer’s dna or fingerprints could be on one of these vials.” tani: “ugh, wouldn’t that be oh so helpful? which probably means it’s not gonna happen.” tani, you poetic and nobel land mermaid, you really don’t know how these detective shows work, do you?

i do like this case that the rest of five-0 is working on, by the way! it’s very interesting so far

steve: “i am four glasses of champagne in today.” fdjkfdjk maybe that’s how he’s still so cheerful in amanda’s presence. hey danny, there’s your solution: day drinking.

okay. OKAY. amanda just handed steve and only steve a present for all his hard work because he “came of [his] own volition”, which sure, whatever, obviously she was going to snub danny here too by not getting him anything, but the reason for it is what bugs me. “i realize of course that daniel had to come because of the family obligations and that”, she says, but omg, WHAT family obligations? he divorced your daughter, holy shit. he’s your grandkids’ dad, but that’s a LOT of corners to take before we get to you two being family, let alone having any obligations to each other. which, really, even if he did have those - maybe you, dear amanda, could possibly be convinced to feel obligated to be ever so slightly less completely hostile to this guy who’s doing you a favor. this is. this is very annoying.

this thing where steve asks amanda about where she gets the ideas for her books and amanda says she just had some inspiration for a story about a policeman who risks everything for the love of an older woman? i mean, i knew something like that was coming, because it had to, but i still think it’s pretty damn creepy.

steve: “i would uh, i would read that.” steve, darling, the fuck are you doing.

danny: “yeah, except he can’t actually read unless it’s a cereal box or something like that.” completely untrue (steve is a nerd! steve reads for fun!), but also completely deserved, holy shit. wreck him, danny.

amanda complains about rachel’s wedding day (when she was getting married to danny, obviously, who’s sitting right next to her) and we’re getting some impressive Looks between steve and danny and yes!! that’s better!! that’s more like the understanding danny deserves

danny’s dad paid extra for the fish tank in the wedding day limousine for amanda (which means he went out of his way to get her something nice!) that she’s now ragging on, and her answer is “well daniel, you and i have different ideas of what constitutes class” which is just. god. i hate everything about that. and not even in the way where it’s fun to dislike a character, which it can be if things are done right, but in the way where it just... physically makes my skin crawl. idk if this is still supposed to be funny, but it’s not my idea of humor.

junior: “i’m pretty sure that guy thinks i’m gay.” tani: “weird. just a normal, heterosexual dude chatting up every muscley guy in this gym. what would make anyone think that?” okay, so this isn’t the most original joke ever, but this show is often so extremely straight that i’m just low key very excited about every single time they acknowledge the fact that that’s not entirely the only option. also, i love tani. so much.

TANI HAS TO IMPROVISE A DANCE CLASS. “booty boost 101.” beautiful. THAT’S the content i’m here for, omg.

danny: “you hear that stuff about the wedding?” steve: “yeah, that was a little harsh.” A LITTLE. and then he starts explaining the difference between the english and americans to danny, which, sweetheart, danny was married to an englishwoman for a decade. you’re mansplaining this except, like, to another man, for a change.

danny tells steve that he FLEW TO ENGLAND on a budget to ask amanda for rachel’s hand because rachel’s dad had passed away and amanda told him no. oh, fuck off. steve, you fuck off too, right now, because i love you but you’re being Not Great about this.

steve: “you know what that is, right? that right there, that’s self-pity.” STEVE. NO. BAD STEVE. i get where he’s coming from and maybe danny even needs to hear this on some level, but steve can’t say this shit after he’s already been taking amanda’s side all day.

steve: “cause let me telll you right now, you, my friend, you are more than adequate.” danny: “thank you. thank you.” steve: “you’re welcome.” that’s more like it! it’s a start, anyway, even though it’s probably all we’re going to get.

danny has made reservations at THREE fancy restaurants to give amanda options, but she asks for steve’s opinion and he (of course) takes her to kamekona’s. oh god. but hey, at least danny’s “please make sure that everything is fresh, because if she gets food poisoning we’ll all be killed” made me laugh.

FLIPPA READS ROMANCE NOVELS AND WILL NOT BE ASHAMED OF IT. this is the first actually good thing to come out of this whole romance novel author thing!

steve, to amanda, while danny is out of earshot: “you know i got to tell you something, i’ve known a lot of people in my life, and that man right there? [points to danny, pauses] he’s the best of the best.” this is GOOD, but you should perhaps consider not only taking danny’s side with any kind of conviction when it’s behind his back. he needs to hear this!!!

amanda pretends to be unsure if steve means flippa or danny and steve goes, actually kind of annoyed for the first time all day, “mandy”, and i appreciate that. i appreciate less that amanda immediately tries to change the subject so they’re talking about steve.

danny tries one last time to point out to amanda that she’s being unfair and when she’s still unwilling to admit to anything he calmly STANDS UP and WALKS AWAY. i can’t even put words to how much i’m cheering for him right now because SHIT YES GOOD FUCKING FINALLY. plus, the way he did this? fuck. i’m proud.

amanda’s reaction: “ah.” can we, like... send her into space? permanently?

steve’s face, though, is far more interesting to me.

lou shoots the doctor who was trying to run away in the leg!!!! holy shit, that’s exactly the thing i’m always quietly wondering about, because it would be SUCH a good way to keep someone from running without, you know, killing the suspect on the spot.

this thing with tani almost dying was intense, god.

danny is at the hotel bar and tells the bartender he has a buddy coming to meet him (which is why he buys two beers) soooo that’s very obviously steve. and then amanda turns up. which i knew would happen, because i’ve seen people talk about it, but still. not what we want.

amanda...... “swiped”..... steve’s phone. meaning she lured danny here using steve. great. awesome. just, really, just super. (like. fucking at least be honest about wanting to talk to danny or something, if that’s what you want. he’s been nothing but curteous to you despite your horrific behavior, and still you feel the need to trick him into this? jesus.)

“sorry for all the subterfuge but i had to have a conversation with you and i knew that you’d say no if i asked.” if there’s one thing that’s become pretty clear this episode it’s that she literally doesn’t know danny at all, omg, but i guess that at least this is in character for her by now.

oh my gosh. just. oh my fucking god. amanda tells danny that she kind of identified with him because she grew up with three siblings in a two-bedroom apartment, but she always wanted something more, and she was looking for a good man but never found one, and then she was jealous of rachel when rachel found danny because he is a good man. this is so many levels of fucked up all stacked on top of each other that i don’t even want to try to pry them apart right now.

danny, very drily: “hm.” I LAUGHED SO HARD. this episode is shitty to danny, but at least danny’s reactions are very on point and relatable.

amanda goes on, and of course shit gets worse, because her bodyguard isn’t even out of commission, she just used that as a ploy to “have a talk” with danny. danny kind of laughs like this is the weirdest shit he’s heard all week and goes “yeah?” and honestly, poor guy.

danny: “you didn’t wanna just tell me that when you, when you first saw me? you wonna torture me for the whole day?” you know, one thing i’m glad for is that at least, at the very least, the show lets danny be fully aware that this is Not Okay.

amanda: “do you care about my daughter, daniel?” danny: “yes, i do.” amanda: “well good, then don’t toy with her affections. i know that you two have been seeing each other a lot and i know that she is talking about you all the time so i don’t want to see her hurt again, okay?” listen. this is just. this is just such bizarre retcon shit the writers are trying to pull about the way things between rachel and danny went down that i just. i’m mad, on some level, sure, but mostly i just have to laugh because it’s so ridiculous? danny’s mother in law is an absolute nightmare to him all day, then lies to get him to this hotel bar for a talk, confesses she orchestrated this entire day just to get to this talk (but still wilfully made him miserable for some reason? why???), and tells him that he shouldn’t play with her daughter’s feelings after she’s never been anything but awful to him, has tried to keep her away from her daughter from the very start, and just told him that she apparently did all of that (for years and years!) because she was jealous that rachel had found a Good Man and she hadn’t. i am. completely overwhelmed, honestly. this is too much to take in.

amanda: “i want you to do right by her. will you do right by her?” danny: “yes.” danny looks confused, and that’s how i feel, honestly.

... and. and then he pays for champagne for her. wasn’t she having dinner with rachel and the kids? why is she drinking champagne with danny now? 

okaaaaay. so. this was... an episode. that’s something i can say for sure.

for all of the rest of it, i think i need to give this some time to sink in and mull it over, because there’s A LOT to unpack here. amanda is, uh, a strong character. she doesn’t seem like a person i’d wish on anyone, least of all as a mom. rachel’s deception and her penchant for lying to danny? yeah, i can see where that’s coming from, now. that’s one interesting thing to come from this episode, i suppose - some character background for rachel.

then there’s steve, who took most of this way less seriously than i think he really should have, and when he finally started seeing sense and sticking up for danny near the end of the episode, he just... disappeared. i really wanted steve and danny to at least have some kind of talk after danny walked away from kamekona’s, but that was the last we saw of steve. danny was trying to have a beer with steve, but obviously that turned out to have been amanda’s charming little “ploy”, so he ended up having champagne with amanda instead. which is still. uh. weird. she never apologized for any of the shit she pulled (except for that little “sorry for all the subterfuge” which really doesn’t cover it) and even after she supposedly explained herself, she still turned her nose up at the beer that danny had bought for steve and offered to her until he said she could have something else if she wanted. doesn’t she have her own money? she’s a rich romance author. buy your own fucking champagne, amanda. or better yet, cover danny’s beer - it’s the last you could do.

what i liked a little more was danny’s complete lack of a reaction to most of what amanda said to him at the bar. i mean, he laughs and looks disbelieving and possibly a little wtf-ish, but that’s about it. i’m guessing, as usual when it comes to anything danny&rachel related, that the writers are interpreting this differently from what i want to read into this (or at least they’re using it to push in a direction i really don’t want to go), but that’s the thing about this - it’s pretty open to interpretation, because danny says very little and his faces could mean any of a million things.

also. that talk at the bar? it feels kind of useless in the end. amanda said some stuff but didn’t apologize or promise to change her behavior and in fact she seemed pretty much the same with her whole champagne thing, and danny didn’t really get to say anything at all, so this does pretty much nothing for them. i guess the champagne was meant as a celebration for... a new level of understanding? but is that really something that was happening there? you could read that into it, if you really wanted to, but i’m not seeing it.

anyway. i liked the drugs storyline that the rest of five-0 was working on! that was good. the steve and danny part... i don’t know. it was a lot.

[kyleknight]

excuse my tantrum

Waterparks Creations Challenge // caimani ➥ Theme: Entertainment // Prompt: TANTRUM

AN: so this is a prequel to The Stigmata / Boys Don’t Cry Blood, and it reveals the reason why Awsten and Otto ended up at the reform school

content warnings: vandalism, arson, bullying, hospitals, vague mentions of major traumatic injuries from a hit and run

. x . x . x . x . x . x .

CRACK!

The impact of the sledgehammer against the windshield of the truck jarred Awsten’s arms. The head of the hammer bounced against the surface more than anything else. There was a clear impact, but barely any damage from all the force he’d put into it. Awsten tightened his grip and swung the hammer back again.

This time, the hammer smashed harder into the glass, creating a huge spiderweb of fractures from the impact site. Awsten’s eyes narrowed and he hefted the sledgehammer up again.

. x . x . x . x . x . x .

“That dent’s just from a deer, dude, fucking chill,” Chris said, shoving Awsten back so hard he fell onto his ass on the ground. “Fucking paranoid.”

Awsten leapt back up. “A deer, huh? So if we test that and it’s got traces of human blood—”

Freddie grabbed Awsten before he could even reach Chris and shoved him away again. “Watch it, you little bitch. No one’s testing anything. He’s got a witness. I was with him, and it was a fucking deer.”

“Where’s the deer now?” Otto said, a short distance behind Awsten. “What road were you on?”

Chris snorted, but his mouth cracked with a smirk. “Oh the deer’s still alive.”

. x . x . x . x . x . x .

Awsten was out of breath when he was finally satisfied with the remains of the windshield. It didn’t shatter like he had been hoping, but there was a gaping hole now, and the insides of the truck were littered with broken glass shards.

Shaking, he jumped down from the roof of the pickup to where Otto was standing beside the car. Otto flipped his knife closed, done with slashing the tires into ribbons. He picked his own sledgehammer off the ground.

“Wanna take out the mirror on the other side?” he said.

Awsten grinned. “Yeah.”

. x . x . x . x . x . x .

They had the fucking counselor sit Otto and Awsten down in the little conference room together. Awsten was barely holding himself together. He was only in school that day so he could find Chris and… and do something.

“In case you haven’t heard it yet—” Mrs. Fleming started.

“Jawn’s in the hospital,” Otto said, his voice cold.

They’d known since— well, since Jawn’s parents called them from the hospital late last night. Awsten hadn’t slept at all afterwards. He and Otto both wanted to stay with Jawn, but Jawn’s parents made him leave. They said they needed to rest. The doctors couldn’t predict when Jawn would wake up.

Instead of resting, Awsten had burned.

“This is going to be a hard time for you two,” Mrs. Fleming said. “I know you three are good friends. If you need to talk to anyone, please—”

“We’ll be okay.”

Mrs. Fleming went still. She folded her hands in front of her. “I know you boys are upset and angry. But it’s not a good idea to keep this all bottled up. If… if you need, you can stay in here for a while, where it’s quiet. Your teachers will understand if you’re not up for going to class—”

“No,” Awsten said, standing up from the conference table. “I think I want to be in class right now. I wanna… see some familiar faces.”

Mrs. Fleming still looked concerned but she let him and Otto go with only a few more reassurances that they could come and talk to her at any time.

. x . x . x . x . x . x .

The side windows came off easily. It was easy to smash dents in the side panels too, but Awsten was desperate for more damage. He tried smashing the windows, but like the windshield, they needed a lot more force to shatter.

Panting, he stepped back. He glanced across the car at Otto. Otto hefted his sledgehammer over his shoulder and nodded towards the front of the car.

“Lights?”

. x . x . x . x . x . x .

“A hit and run,” Jawn’s mom said through choked tears. “Someone… someone hit my baby and… and just—”

Jawn’s dad hugged her close as she broke down into sobs. “We’re lucky someone found him so fast,” he said, swiping at his eyes. “He… god, I can’t believe this.”

Awsten’s vision blurred as he looked at the door of the ICU. He wasn’t going to be allowed inside until the doctors and nurses were done. He was scared of what he would see. His imagination had been running wild ever since he picked up the call from Jawn’s dad.

Awsten looked away from the door and looked at Otto instead. Otto reached out and took Awsten’s hand, grasping it tightly.

“We’ll be here for him,” he promises.

Awsten nodded.

Jawn would make it. He had to. A world without Jawn… just wasn’t right.

. x . x . x . x . x . x .

Awsten looked over the smashed and battered truck. It wasn’t enough. Nothing would be enough. Nothing would even come close to making up for the sight of Jawn lying on the hospital bed, wrapped up in bandages and casts and surrounded by machines that were working to keep him alive.

Nothing would make up for the doctor telling them in a gentle tone that, while Jawn might wake up soon, he might also be in a coma for a long time.

Nothing would make up for how Jawn’s parents fell apart while gently holding their son’s hands.

Nothing.

Awsten turned his back on the truck and started walking back towards Otto’s car.

“That’s it?” Otto said, following him after a moment of hesitation.

“No,” Awsten said. He opened the trunk and pulled out a five gallon gasoline can. “Not yet.”

. x . x . x . x . x . x .

Jawn was extremely still as Chris passed. Awsten glared at him and Freddie, but both of them paid him no mind. Chris smacked Jawn’s head from behind, laughing when Jawn reached up to push his hair out of his eyes.

Awsten tensed, not sure whether he should jump out of his seat and stand up for Jawn and definitely get his ass kicked or…

The opportunity to do anything was gone though. Jawn sighed and moved to the other side of the table, sitting between Awsten and Otto.

“It’s not—” he started, right as Otto said “You should—”

“It’s not like they’re actually doing anything,” Jawn muttered, looking down at his tray of food.

“I’m gonna kick their asses one day,” Awsten said. He looked over at where Chris and Freddie had gone, and couldn’t help the flinch when he saw them looking at them.

Otto scoffed. “Yeah, you wouldn’t last a second. We just gotta stay away from them. We’re safer together.”

“And we all have the same classes,” Awsten said, brightening up. He was rewarded by a small smile from Jawn. “It’s gonna be fine. They’re graduating this year—”

“I bet they’re not—” Otto said.

Awsten laughed, and Jawn joined in.

“Yeah, you’re right,” he said. “Just another two months and they’ll be gone.”

“Hopefully far away from here,” Awsten said.

Jawn nodded. “Hopefully.”

. x . x . x . x . x . x .

The flames stretched high into the sky. The clouds of smoke rolling off the carcass of the truck were thick, heavy, and black.

Awsten felt a little shaky watching the pickup burn. They would have to get rid of their clothes— they smelled like fire. Take longass showers. Or use those bath bombs Jawn had given Awsten as a joke gift for his birthday.

Otto’s car was far enough away that it’d be fine. They’d be fine.

If Chris could get away with hitting Jawn with his fucking truck and putting Jawn in the hospital, then Awsten and Otto could get away with burning Chris’s truck to ashes. There wasn’t anyone around; they had checked plenty of times. They could get rid of the evidence. Awsten had gotten away with burning plenty of things before, just nothing so big as a truck.

“We should leave,” Otto said. “Before someone sees the fire.”

“Yeah,” Awsten said. He picked up the empty can and carried it back to Otto’s car.

[askaphmaine]

Los Angeles looked out over the absolute mess in front of her. Montpelier gave a nervous laugh.

“Sorry. I know you enjoy all that ‘romantic’ junk but I guess I messed it up again, huh?” He looked down, feeling embarrassment wash over him. “If you want to leave and never talk to me again, I-” A pair of arms wrapped around his waist, cutting him off mid sentence.

“I love it. I love you. Thank you so much, Monty.” His face went bright red. She...loved him?

I thought of this excerpt last night at around 3am, which lead to me sort’ve redoing the old ‘lospelier’ story. I’m still not overly happy with it and honestly, I feel like it fails to show just how AWFUL with romance Monty is and just how bad the two of them are when it comes to feelings. It does, however, correctly show just how little the three capitals of Northern NE care about meetings.

If there was one thing Montpelier didn’t understand, it was romance. Sure, his brother had experience and was known to be a cliche romantic, but Monty himself? Not a chance. Which made everything much harder once he met Los Angeles. At first, he simply shrugged the girl off. Her glamorous nature and over extravagant tastes clashed with his more simple lifestyle, not to mention her ‘advice’ tended to get on his nerves. Sure, she was pretty. Hell, he was proud that when he first met her, he pulled her out of the path of a car. Just like a hero in one of those movies she produced. Maybe he wasn’t a lost cause. Until he realized she was just...staring. As ‘cool’ as saving someone is, he forgot about how terrifying an ordeal can be. She really needed time to process things. So he left her with her sister, planning on complaining to his close friends on the ride home. He was hopeless.

It wasn’t too long after that he began seeing more and more of LA. As lovely as a sight it was, with her golden curls and deep sea blue eyes, it was easy to learn what type of man she liked. And it wasn’t him. It never was. She liked her lifestyle, full of suits and parties. He didn’t. He liked mud and hunting, his wild, carefree life. Not spas and politics. However, she didn’t seem to get that.

“With that, that’s the end of the meeting. I hope everyone will be prepared for next time. We have a lot more to talk about.” With that statement from D.C., another long capital meeting was over. He groaned, shoving his ‘paperwork’ and ‘notes’ into his bag. Most of the papers were simply scribbled on, so he would appear as if he cared about whatever it was that DC went on and on about. A couple had drawings, simple pencil sketches of what had been happening, DC yelling at everyone to shut up, Concord making and throwing paper airplanes, Augusta pointedly avoiding everyone by hiding under the table, anything interesting.

“Oh, Montpelier! Just the capital I wanted to see!” Yeah, right. As much as he wanted to leave, to act like he hadn’t heard her, he didn’t. He never did. As much as he knew he wasn’t her type, she damn near drowned him in attention, taking every opportunity to jump on him, even occasionally kissing his cheeks. Try as he did to ignore the feelings bubbling up, he grew fond of it, even if it was just an extreme thank you for saving her. Or even if it was a way to butter him up to change him. The only part he could do without were her various comments on his life.

“You know, you’d look so much nicer in a suit! Or anything out of that disgusting plaid. You should let me take you shopping!” Just like that one. He couldn’t understand how she thought those kind of comments were okay. He liked his shirt, it had been a gift from his brother. Sure, it was a bit worn but it fit fine and was warm. This was just the tip of the iceberg. Her comments normally flew right past him. But he was tired. Tired of being forced to meet the other capitals, tired of hearing about her comments, just tired. “U-um, Montpeli-?”

Still, maybe storming off wasn’t his best idea. Maybe flipping L.A. the bird wasn’t either. The cursing was completely unnecessary, that much he’d admit. Especially the bits in French. Regardless, Montpelier didn’t stick around the meeting room to see the aftermath of his actions. He had soda to drink and cars to work on. He didn’t have time to deal with western drama. He had his own life to live and obviously, she wasn’t going to have much of a part in it. Sadly, it seemed he wouldn’t be getting out of things so easily.

“Okay, I get it. She pissed you off. She’s been pissing you off. But you and I both know she didn’t mean it like that, you asshole. Now I’m getting dragged into your lovers-spat by everyone else.” Concord hissed, glaring at the other capital. He stayed under the truck, rolling his eyes at his best friend’s dramatics.

“It’s not a damn lovers-spat. Just toss me my fucking wrench and shut it, dude. She’s old enough to deal with the consequences, she’ll get over it.” A dull thud hit the area to the left of Monty’s head. “Thank you.” A groan followed. “Alright, listen. I understand she gets on your nerves. I really do. But you literally made her cry. Maybe you should explain what pissed you off so much. It might make things-” Loud clanging interrupted Concord’s nagging. Monty slid out from his work.

“Explain? EXPLAIN? YOU DON’T THINK I’VE TRIED? IT JUST FLIES OVER HER HEAD. I TRY TO BE NICE, I TRY TO BE PATIENT AND CALM AND WHATEVER FUCKING ELSE I CAN DO. SHE JUST DOESN’T GET IT!”

“Dude, stop yell-”

“NO! SHE ACTS ALL HIGH AND MIGHTY JUST BECAUSE SHE’S BASICALLY RICH AND THINKS SHE CAN WALTZ INTO MY LIFE AND COMMAND ME TO CHANGE? SHE DOESN’T WANT ME, SHE WANTS A LITTLE BOY TOY SHE CAN ABANDON ONCE SHE GETS BORED. YOU THINK I’M NOT SMART ENOUGH TO REALIZE THAT? THAT I’M NOT SMART ENOUGH TO KNOW THAT SHE HATES THE VERY CORE OF WHAT I AM?”

“You’re crying.”

“Fuck.” A soft sob. “Off.”

“Yeah, no can do. Like it or not, you’re part of Northern New England. You’re stuck with me.” Concord wrapped an arm around the other boy’s shoulders. “We’re basically family, like it or not. I know she doesn’t listen. I get it. She’s stubborn, that’s for sure. But here’s my plan, okay? Trust me, it’s a doozy.”

Silence. Never had LA felt more uncomfortable. Monty was acting odd, showing no emotion, a huge change from his normally smiley nature. After what had happened, she expected him to avoid her. Obviously he was upset, which made the request to meet up a shock. She wasn’t expecting an apology from him at all but she also certainly wasn’t expecting him to be emotionless and cold.

“You need to stop.” Monotone. He watched her shudder.

“Stop…what?” He wanted to wince at how small she sounded. Here they were, one of the largest cities in the nation and someone who didn’t even classify as one. And he was the terrifying one.

“Acting like a lovesick idiot. Grabbing me. Kissing my cheeks. The flirting and the attempts to change me and make me into some ‘rich and fancy boy’ need to stop.” Confusion. He watched her mouth those words back to him, before a look of shock set in.

“I’m…sorry. I never meant…Never mind. I’ll stop. I swear on everything I own, I’ll stop.” With that, she left. If this was his plan, why did Monty’s heart feel like it had been stabbed? It had worked, hadn’t it?

For weeks, she avoided him. No hellos, no glances, nothing. What used to be sketches of various parts of the meeting turned into her, often times with her hair pulled up. These were burned the second he made it home. Finally, the meetings ended, leading to a small break where he was able to settle back in at home. Fall had just begun, the leafs turning various, vibrant colors. His own, personal heaven.

Most of the time, Monty was left alone outside of meetings and his fellow New Englanders, something he honestly preferred. Just about everyone else annoyed him and his brother, which lead to their house being hidden in the mountainous woods of the Green Mountains. Even now, he had woken up as normal and was beginning to prepare breakfast, which in this case was pancakes. Actually, when wasn’t it pancakes?

Then he heard the doorbell echo through the room. No one, not even his ‘family’, the other New Englanders, visited this early. They all had things to do and they all understood that the Vermont Mounties did not like dealing with anyone besides each other before noon. A glance at the stove clock told him it was only 8 am, four hours before the so-called barrier was lifted. There were only three options for that bell going off. One was that Liam got locked out and was either drunk or hungover. The second was an emergency. Third, some flatlander had shone up. Monty didn’t even want to think it was the third.

The world loved proving him wrong. Apparently, either karma or fate hated him. Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, he took in the sight before him. LA in a ponytail was cute, sure. As was the the muddy jean cut-off shorts and torn plaid-like shirt but none of the outfit suited the girl. Where were her heels? Her dress? Honestly, he would’ve been happier with the surprise if she was wearing that. Whatever she was in now was just… awkward.

Monty didn’t have the energy to produce the ‘Mainer’ personality he had worked on. Hell, he didn’t even have the energy to listen as she tried speaking about trucks. Something about…mud driving? He held the bridge of his nose, leaning on the doorframe.

“LA, it’s 8 in the morning. How did you even find my house?” Silence. “Alright, listen, I’m too tired for this whole ‘interaction’ thing and would really prefer to just eat my breakfast in peace.”

“Oh…sorry. I guess I must be annoying, huh.” He felt a sigh escape. She sounded so sad. Why did she have to act like this? As cute as it was, she looked incredibly uncomfortable, tugging on the somewhat tight clothing.

“Listen, no one, and I mean no one, is allowed to visit Vermont and I until 12pm.” A gasp.

“Ah, I’m so sorry, I didn’t-“

“If you annoy me, I’m kicking you out. No second chances here, got it?” A soft ‘huh?’ floated to his ears. He opened his eyes, leaning forward. “Look, you’re lucky it’s fall. It may not get cold in your part of the country but here? You’ll freeze in that. I also doubt you’ve eaten. I may not be a very open person but I’m not heartless. Just get inside, you can borrow some of my clothes. They may be big, but at least they’re clean. And actually cover you.” He muttered the last part before shoved himself up, not even glancing behind him to see if she was following. The door closed, though he didn’t hear any footsteps. “Just take your shoes off and follow me.”

Silently, she listened, much to his shock. He had to admit, he was expecting resistance. It didn’t really hit him what was happening until he was standing in his room, looking for clothes. LA was in his house. LA was going to be wearing his clothing. Hell, she was going to be eating his cooking. He felt his heart skip a beat and quickly thanked whatever cosmic force had caused his brother to vanish.

“You’ll have to wear some sweatpants and a t-shirt, nothing else I own will fit you. Any complaints?” He questioned, doing his best to hide how nervous he suddenly felt. A glance at her was responded to with a shake of the head. “Good. Here, try these.” With that, he tossed her a pair of gray sweats, a black shirt, and a plaid button up. “You’ll want to wear all of it. It’s cold and our heater hasn’t been prepared for winter yet.” Monty didn’t hang around, vanishing downstairs to the kitchen, avoiding her eyes.

Once downstairs, he fought his blush back as he continued his task of cooking, hoping to at least blame the redness on the heat from the pan. Luckily, it took a couple of minutes for LA to reappear, keeping her head down. Monty was more than a bit pleased that she kept the ponytail.

“I’m sorry for showing up and making you feel like you had to help me.” He felt himself groan, tapping his spoon to the side of the skillet.

“Listen, just sit. This batch will be done soon. And trust me, someone showing up at my door first thing in the morning does not make me want to help them. Very much so the opposite.” He could hear a sharp intake of breath as she pulled a chair out. “Alright, I don’t have the energy for the ‘Maine’ thing, so just listen. I get you’re trying to connect with me for whatever reason. I’m not that dumb. While you may have gone about it in an awful way-“

“I should’ve listened to Izzy…” He paused at the whisper.

“I have no clue who ‘Izzy’ is but yeah. You really should’ve. Not that it was offensive or anything. Just obnoxious. Do you remember what my point was during our meeting a couple of weeks ago?”

“You felt like I was trying to control you. And that my interests were obnoxious. And I promised I’d stop but here I am…”

Yea- What?” Confused, Monty turned, setting a plate in front of the blonde.

“Was I…wrong?” A confused laugh rose in his throat as he stared at her.

“Uh, yeah? I never said anything about control not your interests. I said you were-” Oh. Silence. Slowly, he sat across from her, staring at his plate. Placing his elbows on either side, he dropped his face into his hands. Here he thought it was over. “I didn’t mean you were controlling me. Trust me, Vermont tries to all the time. I’m used to things like that. And I didn’t mean your interests were wrong.”

“Then what was I doing?” The almost begging tone nearly got him to lift his head. Nearly.

“You were trying to change me. Even if you didn’t mean to, you were. I’m not a suit and tie kind of person. I’m not into fashion, I actually couldn’t care less. Vermont and I are outdoorsy guys who wear a lot of plaid. We go mudding- wait, is that what you meant by mud driving?” He looked up, shaking his head, laughing at the thought. He pressed him palms into his cheeks. “Never mind. We go mudding, hiking, and hunting. I fix cars and trucks for fun. I’m not what you’re used to, LA” For the first time, he looked her right in the eyes. “I’m not a toy you can dress up. I’m not interested in that life. I can’t think of a person who would be.”

“T-toy? I never…I never meant to come across like that. And I never wanted you to change! I just thought you’d look, you know, nice in that style of clothing. Not everyday but one in a while.” With a deep breath, she closed her eyes. Monty blinked. He hadn’t realized he had been staring until she moved. “I never saw you as some sort of ‘toy’. In fact, you remind me of Izzy and Nathan- I mean, Sacramento and Northern California. I guess I thought you’d react to the comments the same way they do, with a eye roll and a laugh. But they did grow up with SoCal and I. They’re used to it. I’m very sorry for coming across that way.” She slowly opened her eyes, keeping her head down. For a couple of minutes, the two of them sat there, L.A. picking at the pancakes and Monty watching her. After a moment, he asked a question that had been on his mind for a while.

“Alright, so I get the comments part. But what about the lovesick attitude? I doubt you treat your family that way.” If anyone asked, both would swear to the grave that LA didn’t blush. LA to keep her image and Monty wanted to keep the ability to see the bright red girl to himself. The stuttering only helped further the redness. He felt warmth rise to his own cheeks. “I see. Well, it should be noted that I didn’t like the outfit you wore here.”

“I, uh, kinda figured… I should pay Izzy back for it before I forget.”

“Good to know. Let me make one think clear, though. Changing for someone else is stupid. And that includes yourself. So, we both know you know nothing about trucks, mudding, ect. What do you enjoy? Besides fashion, I mean.”

“Well, I can, like, surf. Even. In. Heels.” He could see pride well up in her after the statement. Even if the ability to surf in general was interesting to the landlocked capital.

“See, now we’re getting somewhere. That’s an actually interesting fact. What about movie-“

“I am literally Hollywood. I know all the easter eggs, the classics, everything.” She scooted closer, a gleam in her eyes. Monty smirked.

“Oh? Well, then we have something in common. I just so happen to have a movie collection. Shall we pick through it?”

“You. Are. On.” LA practically launched herself from the chair, food all but forgotten. Monty chuckled, grabbing both plates. Might as well eat as they watch, right? “Oh, and Montpeli-“

“Just call me Monty.”

“Alright, Monty. I just wanted to tell you to call me Lizzy.” He was glad she looked away after that smile. If he had been red before, he didn’t want to know what color he was now.

“Deal.” He lead the girl into his shared living room. And felt like screaming. The entire room was a mess, various guns and knives laying around, not to mention a couple of beer bottles. He closed his eyes, hoping that he was imagining the room’s state. “Uh, sorry. Guess Liam and I haven’t cleaned up in a while. Jacob and Connor are the only two who visit a lot.” He gave a shaky laugh. If how he acted didn’t scare her off, this had to. He glanced over as she took in the mess in front of her. “I, uh, doubt my room is much better. Sorry, Lizzy.” A giggle surprised him.

“Wow, this is just so...you!” The girl leaned over in laughter, much to his embarrassment. I mean, she wasn’t wrong. “How about this, you clear off the couch and table and I’ll pick a movie. We both know I should not be allowed to touch a gun in any capacity.” If he was unsure before, Monty was certain now that he was falling head over heels.

“Um, alright. The movies are in the bookcases.” As she looked over the wall of videos, Monty got to work cleaning. It wasn’t too hard, as most of the lockers were nearby, though he did curse his dear brother’s name at the obscene amount of knives littering the room. Who the hell needed that many ornate knives? Not his brother, that was for sure. A gasp caught his attention.

“Dude, you have BeetleJuice? Guess what we’re watching first!”

“I mean, it was filmed here in Vermont. We have a system. ‘Filmed in A New England State’, ‘Takes Place in a New England State’, and ‘Other’. 13 different groups, some overlap. Maine’s are best viewed around Halloween.”

“Oh, please. Carrie is a classic and is perfect for viewing year round. Anyone who says otherwise is a liar.”

“And I’m sure Maine would agree with you.” Finally, the area was free of dangerous weapons. “Done.” She jogged over, tossing him the DVD case. As he turned to put it in, a metallic noise caught his attention. Glancing back, he was slightly horrified to see her holding one of the more showy blades. He quickly spun around. “Oh, sorry. Let me just…”

“Okay, now this is a pretty knife. What’s it for?”

“Um, mostly just show. Most of Liam’s knives are useless.” She nodded, carefully handing it to him.

��Still, it looks cool.”

“Yeah, how about we watch the movie. I’d rather ignore the issue of my brother and his creepy love for knives.”

Hours later, Liam staggered up the steps to his home. He wasn’t drunk but just tired. The trip to Mass left him exhausted. Dealing with Mass in general left him exhausted. Opening the door, he faintly heard the sounds of a movie. It sounded like the selection screen, though he had to doubt this. There was no way Monty would just leave a movie running, not even for food. Slowly, he crept towards the entrance to the shared living room. Sneaking a glance in, he saw a lump under a blanket, larger than his brother would be. Carefully moving closer, he took note of all the food bowls scattered around. Once he reached the sofa, he saw something he knew he’d hold over Monty for a while. Curled up, fast asleep, was Monty and a girl. But not any girl, oh no. Los Angeles herself was curled up on his chest, slumbering peacefully. ‘My little brother, off falling in love with a westerner.’ Liam thought, leaning over to pull the blanket up further. It was going to be a cold night. A smile found its way onto Liam’s lips as he glanced down at the two. Tugging at Monty’s was a soft smile of his own.

[micaramel]

Sometimes, photos are taken at the exact right moment, making for the perfect, hilarious snapshot.

We scoured the internet to find the funniest pictures on the world wide web.

Visit INSIDER's homepage for more stories.

People love coincidences — it helps them believe that the universe isn't so random and huge after all.

From identical looking girls in class to dogs floating in bubbles, keep scrolling to see photos that are almost too perfect to be real.

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This crosswalk sign happened to get it right when members of the royal household's troops crossed the street in their red jackets.

That sign takes the term "redcoat" to a whole new level.

No, this guy's not actually balancing a car on his head.

This photographer was able to catch this Saudi man taking a selfie while his friends did what is called "sidewall skiing" — driving on two wheels.

Amazingly, the photographer was able to capture the selfie-taker appearing to "balance" the car on his head.

No, this volcano isn't erupting, it's just an unfortunately placed cloud.

Reddit user ReWolvz thought that Mt. Adams in Washington was erupting — it is a potentially active volcano — but it was just a cloud that happened to be floating by.

This little boy found his doppelgänger while reading with his mom.

These two look almost exactly the same. A Reddit user posted this photo of her son Julian with a book she was reading to him, because she noticed that he was almost identical to the little boy in the story.

Maisie Williams got to ask her boyfriend this Trivial Pursuit question about her own character on "Game of Thrones."

Maisie Williams, also known as Arya Stark on "Game of Thrones," picked up a card in Trivial Pursuit asking the name of Ned and Catelyn Stark's tomboy daughter — that's Arya!

The shape that the water in the air makes might look familiar — it's the spitting image of an elephant!

Elephant sanctuaries are a popular way to safely interact with elephants. When these tourists helped cool off this gentle giant, the water they were throwing on it surprisingly fell in the same shape as the animal.

This dog looks like she's floating in a bubble.

Originally, this was just a cute video of a dog playing with bubbles. But when paused at the right moment, it looks like Stella is floating inside a bubble.

This bird could be flying at the same speed as those planes, and even has the contrail to prove it.

Miss Jaded from the UK really captured this shot at the right time.

A girl found her long-lost twin on the spine of a book she was reading.

Originally posted in a "Mildly Interesting" Reddit thread, that's exactly what this is — until you check out this gif, which flips the faces and shows just how eerily similar these two women are.

These two water jugs look they're about to be pronounced man and wife.

With a plastic bag acting as a veil, these two water machines could be getting married. A Reddit user pointed the happy couple out at his office.

Mario and Luigi found each other in the real world, specifically in Manchester.

Sadly, both Mario's and Luigi's have since closed down (you can see on Google Maps what's there now), but there was a time when you could imagine that Mario and Luigi retired and opened their own small businesses in Manchester.

This dog blends in perfectly with this carpet.

A Redditor was hanging out at his friend's house, when he noticed that his friend's dad's dog perfectly blended in with the carpet. 

The moon became the 6th Olympic ring.

The Olympic rings are an iconic symbol around the world. But the rings experienced a little celestial help when the moon perfectly lined up with them.

Do these legs look like they're covered in oil? It's actually just strategically placed white paint streaks.

This Instagram post went viral in 2016, when the internet couldn't decide if this pair of legs was just super shiny, or if they were just covered in paint.

According to Hunter Culverhouse, the person whose legs these are, the paint was a complete accident — and it took a couple of re-shares for the photo to go viral at all.

These two strangers on Facebook's "People You May Know" feature completed each other's profile pictures.

While Facebook's "People You May Know" feature is decidedly creepy, it also works in mysterious ways. Samir Francois shared a screenshot on Reddit, showing that Facebook maybe could see that these two unrelated strangers' profile pictures would complete the Sydney Harbor Bridge in Australia.

This park was perfect for this dude, chilling.

Dude Chilling Park started as a funny art installation — and then was accepted by the city of Vancouver as a real city park.

This unicyclist is definitely doing his part to "Keep Portland Weird."

Known as the Unipiper, this Portland citizen is taking the city's slogan seriously.

Two siblings gave each other different puzzles for the holidays — but of the same landscape in Italy!

According to a Reddit post, this brother and sister visited Italy together, and to commemorate their time there unknowingly bought each other puzzles of the same cliff-side village. The photos even look like they were taken from similar vantage points!

A photographer had perfect timing when he got this shot of lightning striking — and the name of the first boat proves that.

Photographer Bennett Christiansen had been trying to get the perfect shot of lightning for a year before getting this pic.

This photo went viral on Reddit when his brother Jacob noticed the boat in the bottom left corner, aptly named "Perfect Timing."

  The advertisement on the back of this truck lines up almost perfectly with its real-life surroundings.

Staring at the back of the truck in front of you can be a boring task — unless you notice the world around you lining up perfectly, like Redditor Tomboski did.

These three girls could be long-lost triplets.

A student at SUNY Brockport snapped a picture of the three girls sitting in front of him during class — all three happened to be wearing burgundy sweaters and have a similar hair color.

This is could be either a picturesque sunset or a rabbit doing extreme sports.

When this image was uploaded on Twitter with the caption "This photograph I took of this bird in the sunset looks so peaceful," it didn't take long for another Twitter user to share a different perspective — a rabbit flying through the air on skis.

A passenger snapped a photo of what looks like the same man taking a nap in three different rows.

The photo was shared to the Mildly Interesting thread on Reddit.

These two couples met at a beer festival — and happened to be dressed exactly the same.

A Redditor posted about her and her boyfriend meeting their couple doppelgängers at a beer festival.

  This tree could not have fallen in a more convenient way.

A Reddit user shared a photo of this extremely fortunate coincidence. Instead of falling on top of the power lines and probably knocking out power for multiple homes, this tree arched over the lines, saving everyone from a giant headache.

This motorcycle engine is giving some serious side eye action.

A Reddit user snapped a photo of their motorcycle's engine, only to notice that it looks like it has a face — and that it doesn't seem to be very happy.

Just in case this driver was lost, this helpful lightning bolt literally pointed an arrow in the right direction.

A Redditor posted this helpful bolt of lightning, writing "wanted to get a quick pic when this kind lightning bolt appeared and pointed me towards my destination."

  This wire's shadow looks like the profile of a person's face.

A Reddit user noticed that a copper wire they were working with had an eerily human-like shadow. You can clearly see the nose, lips, and forehead.

This is just confirmation that Taylor Swift truly is everywhere.

Sandy Glovinsky, whose Twitter bio proudly states "Maybe the oldest Taylor Swift fan around," noticed that two trucks in front of him had aligned to form his favorite pop star's name — Taylor Swift herself.

A Reddit user was walking through Target in their favorite fox shirt when they came across the perfect addition to her outfit.

Redditor lisarista posted this photo to the Oddly Satisfying Reddit thread, which makes sense — it's totally random, but nice to see the fox on the shirt meet its real-life mask counterpart. 

This dog's ear looks exactly like its face.

A Redditor posted this photo of their dog, whose ear looks remarkably like its face — though not everyone was able to see the optical illusion.

  This cloud looks good enough to eat.

What a perfect scoop of vanilla ice cream.

Before you freak out — no, there isn't a new human-horse hybrid roaming the streets. This man's head is just completely obscured by his horse's.

But wouldn't it be cool if there was?

  These two happened to be equally as excited to meet each other.

A beluga whale and a young aquarium enthusiast couldn't hide their mutual excitement at meeting each other. If only we could all greet each other this way.

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from Design http://bit.ly/2ELwUjh

[serenagaywaterford]

Who's the new commander/wife in s3? And yes, please give me s3 spoilers! Also, do you have any thoughts about mayday? How I wish we got to see more of it

OKAY ERRYBODY IN THE CLUB GET TIPSY. SPOILERS AHEAD.

EDIT: added in the Mayday stuff cos I forgot the first time around.

Like the actors? Christopher Meloni and Elizabeth Reaser, and they’re playing the Winslows who host the Waterfords in DC. (Which I’m not sure if you’ve seen all the hubbub about the DC trip but there are loads of pics of them shooting one of those scenes. You’ve probably seen them. Like with the Handmaids’ mouths stapled shut? Fred looking all Evil Supreme Leader-y with Serena and June alongside him.). Meloni is “powerful and magnetic” and Reaser is supposedly a “friend and inspiration” to Serena. Whatever the fuck all that means. It could be good, it could be bad. (Personally, I can’t stand either of those actors but meh. Maybe they’ll be okay.) And DC, not Boston, is Gilead central… and so Fred’s not really as important as he thinks. 

Off-topic: To be honest, I find this odd. We see frequently that all the dudes responsible for the rise/creation of Gilead are in Boston and it was formed IN Boston (Putnam, Pryce, Waterford, Cushing?, Lawrence, (Nick), etc.) so how there is a ANOTHER HIGHER level group of SOJ in DC is a little stupid, imo. It doesn’t make sense how that core group (the literal architects of the entire system) are off in Boston while the other guys (who we’ve literally never seen nor heard of before, even in flashbacks–bad storytelling, show) are top dogs in DC. Seems like yet another plot contrivance. Now, fair enough, that I think it’s sort of funny that Fred is still in Boston rather than with the big brass in DC cos he THINKS he’s so much smarter/better/etc than all these other guys but the fact he’s not there just shows that as much as he was one of the Gilead OGs, he’s too incompetent to be trusted at the highest level of government. HA HA FRED. Ya moron. I get that there’s never a guarantee that the evil people that come up with a totalitarian society are in charge of said society when it comes to fruition, but it’s a general trend throughout history. The fact all these guys would give up top billing of the SOJ to some punks from DC seems… a bit off. But then, hey, maybe said punks were the other part of the SOJ that Fred was talking about to Serena when he suggested bombing congress.

As for a few more, June flips out at one point, turning on other Handmaids (Brianna is holding her back.) It’s against a Handmaid who is a “true believer” in Gilead. I’m going to take an educated guess (based on where they’re filming) this is the lead up to the mass hanging. I guess I should mention: the Handmaids are gonna have to hang a bunch of people. Like a salvaging, but with hanging instead of stoning or beating.

June gets dressed up like a Martha.

June apparently works with Lawrence. It’s assumed she’ll be his Handmaid although the production, especially the DC scene, seem to imply she’s back with the Waterfords.

Serena’s mother shows up.

Luke & Moira are fighting against Gileadean ideology in Canada. Cos obviously it would come up here too. I always thought it was too happy-happy that Canada wasn’t experiencing ANY fallout from a worldwide birthrate crisis. Like, we may be more liberal than the US, but what happens there, spreads here fairly quickly. Like we have some Trumpian/Tea Party-esque politicians and racist/homophobic/xenophobic/misogynistic activist groups too, with a lot of power. And a lot of ignorant regular people to boot. The fact Canada was portrayed as like this utopia free from Gilead’s evilness just seemed unrealistic to me. While I do believe it would take a bit longer to take root here, the building blocks are already here and ripe for the pickin’. 

(I also have a huge issue with how unrealistically and healthy they portrayed the economy in Canada without their main US trading partner. We’d collapse if the US economy collapsed, at least for a time until we figured a way around it. Oil alone would go crazy. It wouldn’t be all life as normal. What Serena saw in 2x09 was literally what I see everyday here and I find it super hard to swallow that our lives would just go on as if nothing happened if the USA fell into massive civil war and was overthrown by a theocratic “republic”. 

And I also have a HUGE issue with how rosy they portrayed refugee and asylum seeking here. It’s just as bad as elsewhere, with all the same struggles that European countries (for example) are facing right now. Like if Gilead was an actual thing, Canada would be having a fucking mASSIVE humanitarian crisis along the border. We had a taste of it when Trump was elected and loads of people fled across the border. We could barely handle THAT, let alone hundreds of thousands of Americans swarming in to safety.) So, yeah, that’s a really long way of saying THANK FUCK the show is going to start to deal with some of the reality of the situation north of the border. They already showed Mexico breaking down and there’s no reason Canada wouldn’t too if the birthrate crisis is indeed as catastrophic as it’s presented by Serena/Fred/Gilead.

Emily makes it to Canada with Nichole. It’s all happy families. At least from the set photos the whole gang is there: Luke, Moira, Emily, Sylvia, Nichole. Not sure about Oliver or Erin. Now, the photo was likely taken when they weren’t filming which is why they’re all so fucking smiley and happy laughing together. That’s probably just the actors. But it could be shooting. I didn’t actually save the photos and I’m not sure where they are now. I think reddit?

Aunt Lydia is alive and will get some backstory and her character is gonna change. Somehow, somewhat, unclear how much. All cos of what Emily did to her.

Lots of stuff about Nichole, the whole Gilead vs. Canada thing, etc etc. 

____

I totally forgot to add about Mayday!

Personally… and first off: I much prefer the name “Mayday” to that weirdass co-opted “female railroad” or whatever shit they called it in the show when Moira was getting out. That was just in poor taste and completely uncreative. You don’t have to call it a railroad at all, tbh. It could be an extension of Mayday, or it could be called something entirely different. Sometimes the THT writers really drop the ball.

As for Mayday… I am not even convinced it exists as such? When I was reading the book, I liked the theory that Emily was sort of … not crazy, but misinformed or exaggerating. The only we really hear about Mayday in the book is through her and there’s no real evidence it exists as a cohesive organization. 

In the show, it’s like we’ve been fed this Mayday idea… but again, not seen anything particularly solid in terms of evidence it exists as a large organized resistance effort. 

We see Emily talk about it but she never seems to get anything from it and everything she does is through her own agency. Mayday never helps her.

We see June ask Alma about it. But Alma doesn’t really say much.

We see Nick, kind of doing his own thing and organizing shit for June, specifically. (We never see him do anything for any other woman except the one he’s banging. Snerk.) 

We see Lillie somehow get a complex explosive and blow shit up. Obviously that came from somewhere and it’s not the sort of thing a Handmaid can just make herself. There has to be a “terrorist cell” (as Gilead would consider it) within Gilead that siphons off weapons to a small rebel faction and passed it to her.

We know there’s a war still going on because Fred talks about the front so there are obviously large pockets that are actively and violently resisting Gilead within the continental US. IIRC the map they showed, the fighting tends to be along international borders and in the west and Florida? I can’t really remember the map exactly. There’s no real evidence that these people at war are also running an underground resistance network within Gilead strongholds like Boston. But other than sympathetic Guardians, Eyes, Angels, they could be the ones supplying weapons.

We see the butcher hand June the package from Moira. Somehow there is a network that passed this along.

We see the Guardian give June the way out of the hospital to the butcher’s truck. This could be Nick’s doing alone, not a network.

We see the butcher/delivery dude who brings June to the Globe. Again, this could solely be Nick as well, but we don’t know.

We see there’s Omar, who seems more like someone who accidentally fell into it rather than an active participant. We also learn that “Mayday” has supposedly safe houses within Gilead, but we never see them.

We see the pilot who helps people escape to Canada.

We hear of “Rachel” often, especially wrt Jezebels. I don’t think we ever see Rachel however. It could be code, it could be a person, it could be a group of people. Considering the gravity of the name Rachel in Gilead, I would put my money on this being a code name cos the writers don’t just throw little things like that around. Especially since Moira, who lived and worked at Jezebels, claims she doesn’t know a “Rachel”. Sure, she could just be protecting June or she could actually be telling the truth. I find it really interesting that the consulate worker in Toronto is called Rachel as well. While I don’t think the two are connected, I’m just surprised at all the references to Rachels in THT, esp with the story of Rachel & Leah (+ Bilhah, Zilpah, etc.) being such a massive cornerstone to the entire society.

We see the Marthas have a very complex network that is referenced multiple times and is known to Commanders, and they’ve done very little to address it for some reason.

We see Serena get both cigarettes and a pregnancy test, both of which are illegal technically although nobody seems to take issue with Serena’s smoking. I would assume this is unrelated to Mayday and more akin to Jezebels (and its sex trafficking) as the illegal underbelly of Gilead that everyone knows exists and everyone uses but nobody talks about. The black market likely has no connection. But it’s still something that requires a large chain of procurement and distribution, and secret knowledge of how to access it.

I’ve probably missed some other examples…

None of this really speaks to a larger web, imo. I can easily see these as individual cells, sometimes connected, rather than ruled by some grand master command somewhere nonspecific and so far unseen. Resistance usually doesn’t begin with a cohesive structure but small cells that see a need to rebel or at least protect/assist victims. It’s also MUCH safer that way and harder to dismantle the entire thing if cells are independent. (I used to be fascinated with the so-called “eco-terrorist” culture.) 

And I would say Mayday, if it exists, relies on Econopeople, specifically Economen and Guardians who have “normal” jobs and freedom of movement within Gilead. But we’ve been shown SO VERY LITTLE about the lives of Econopeople (the majority). I mean, it makes sense since this is the Handmaid’s Tale, not the Economan’s Tale… still, it’s very abrupt to build a giant resistance network suddenly and not have shown anything of real substance about it in 2 seasons.

Other than Lawrence, there’s no indication that any other Commanders or Wives are involved in any resistance but I think we’re supposed to believe some are. So it’ll be curious what side these new characters fall on, whether Mrs. Winslow is an “inspiration” in terms of resistance or compliance. I think we all assume she’ll be on the side of resistance and inspire Serena to take that path (although I think June and Nichole and her own awful husband should be inspo enough lol). I’m not so sure since this is THT and I am absolutely terrible at predicting anything, lol. I can see THT going the opposite direction just as easily. I hope not, but hey.

I think for simplicity within a TV show, they’ll flatten it to a single resistance organisation. 

Quite frankly, I wish we had already seen more of Mayday, if it exists. I feel a bit annoyed that it’s been 23 episodes and other than a few hints, we’ve never seen a significant exploration of any of it. Like how on earth June is supposed to just be a Martha…? I just… I don’t know. Who knows.

Since we know this season is going to be all about Team Resistance, obviously they’ll go into more detail. I just wish we had seen more ahead of time. Although to be perfectly frank, I also really enjoyed the “Emily is sorta crazy and Mayday doesn’t quite exist” theory too.

[chiefbeck]

Chapter 43: From War to Peace

I have been battling with myself, with my friends, family and the outside world nearly my entire life... peace is a hard to find and a difficult journey. I can get there and so can so many other people. These battles are not just a gender thing as I describe my personal struggles. There are so many things that we all wish we could do, or things that we wish we could change. Take a look at my story and see if you can apply some of this to your wish and your own struggle. We all have the courage in us to be our true self and be at peace.

My gender struggle and some of my path from war to peace.

Gender has three different facets:

1. Who I know myself to be, the inside voice, my personal identity.

2. How I express myself to everyone else, my outside self, my clothing and appearance.

3. How everyone else sees me. The outside world has its own vision.

These three facets then become the three fronts of the battle in a way.

Scenario one: I hide my inner identity within myself.

The first is all within myself. I have known since I was a kid that I was different and the struggle started. I was worried and afraid and constantly questioning myself. It was a battle within my head to just be myself, I try to be true to myself in my heart, but also live with who I was on the outside. This internal struggle sometimes ends in breakdown or bad relationships with everyone around me. You hate yourself and think that you are defective; you want so badly to be “normal.” You are a basket case.

The second battle was how I expressed myself to the world. Your outside appearance is a cover and disguise of what you really are. I was in constant hiding and afraid at all times of getting caught. This ends in constant lying to protect your true identity; you will never be able to live a real life and have real relationships with anyone. It ruins families and

friends, as you are constantly lying and sneaking around. In order to hide, you overcompensate or isolate. Your emotions are out of control because you are always on a type of defense. You lash out and are never sure of yourself. You look around and see the rest of the world as normal, and you just try to fit in. The constant fear is mind numbing. Your friends and family are still there except they know something is wrong and see your unhappiness.

The third battle is how everyone in the world sees me. I was constantly on the look out to make sure I was in the proper disguise. Hidden well behind ultra-masculinity or layers of manliness. The word sees you as what you are at birth. The world sees someone that might be isolated and wrapped real tight, but they accept you for what you show them.

Scenario TWO: You come out and announce your new gender and live that “new” life, one that is true to you.

How I see myself: I was born male, but identified myself as female since a very young age. I hid it for a long time; it caused me anguish and turmoil in my own head. I came out in February of 2013. I felt a huge weight off my shoulders. I finally started to like myself and learned what happiness could be. I was at peace with myself. As time went on I felt better and better. A year goes by and I have no disguises, just me. I like myself, and for the first time in my life, I can love other people and just relax. In my own head, it is like springtime; I am reborn and looking forward to life, my life.

How I present myself to the world: I present myself as a woman. The problem with that is I was born a man and had male chemicals, testosterone, in my body for 47 years. I have a hard time looking like the models in the magazines. I am worried and trying so hard to present myself as what society sees as a woman. I over compensate the attire and makeup and everything for a while. I am a forty something year old going through puberty. I am trying so hard to make my appearance match what I see in my head... A woman. Because of this presentation and this very, very late puberty, it causes some very difficult times between myself and my family and friends. They are worried about what the neighbors will think; my friends and family see a dude in a dress and are embarrassed. Some of my family see the connection between the inside me and why I am expressing myself this way; they make the jump and only see the

woman; they don’t see the five o’clock shadow or the biceps that don’t fit a vision of a girl. They see that I am happy because my inner voice is expressing itself on the outside.

The way the world sees me: My presentation to the world is one thing, but how the world sees me is another altogether different thing. As discussed earlier, there are some people who are able to make the jump and see the real me; they see past the outside covering and see the real me. Most people have a hard time making this jump. They keep seeing the man that used to be and never the soul or the real person. The world, for the most part, does not accept someone who lives their life and expresses themselves as something that is different than themselves. There are some transgender people who pass and totally appear on the outside as their new gender. The outside world sees them as how they present themselves; these transgender people are probably about 50% and the others cannot attain that “passable” level, so they present as one gender and they are seen as the opposite of what they present and they live through ridicule for much of the time. (But they are happy in their own head, and most of the time this is enough.)

Both scenarios are difficult roads, and there are loses and gains that apply to each. Someday maybe the choice will be to live happy and at peace in your own identity.

There is a local pool room bar here in St Petersburg that I go to often. It is a smokey kind of tough bar full of pool players, truck drivers and construction worker types. This bar would be a perfect movie set for a local red neck bar in the swamps of central Florida. Everyone in the bar has that look of hard working Americans that will stand up for themselves and their friends. It’s a locals only bar.

The first time I went to this bar I was wearing a sun dress and flip flops, my hair was pulled back and in a ponytail. As I walked in, it was like that bar in “Animal House” when the music stops and everyone is staring. They all looked up with a what the fuck expression. I drank my beer quietly, and then the bartender moseyed on over and started asking me some questions. Maybe to figure out why a dude in a dress was in this local bar. This bar may have never seen a gay or lesbian person or at least one that it was noticeable.

I told the bartender about myself, just enough to let her know that I wasn’t too much different than anyone in the bar. I was a retired enlisted SEAL team member barely back from the war. I wanted a beer and relax to a couple games of pool.

She passed on the SEAL info to the owner, Dale, who then came over and struck up more conversation. He was generally interested as an avant-garde type of guy. He was good friends with the beat poet Jack Kerouac back in the 60s.

Dale gave me a beer on the house, I gave him some personal info and told him about my Anderson Cooper interview just in case he was interested in my story in the SEALs and what I was doing now as a woman.

A couple of weeks later I went back to that bar. Dale called out, “Hey Kristin, welcome back. Coors light.” I kind of gasped in surprise at the reception.

He brought me around the bar to meet more of the locals.

I shook hands with a dozen gents and a few ladies that frequent the place. Everyone kind of had that what the fuck look, but were pleasant.

I played a couple games of pool, spoke to some of them telling more of my story and sharing in their stories and such. After a couple of beers, I bid my new fiends goodbye. It would have been fun to hear some of the conversations amongst the locals over the past few weeks.

I went on a trip to Washington DC to work with the Congress and Senate on some equality bills and such, and on my return, I went back to my new favorite local bar.

I was met with more friendly greetings. It was really cool. I told some of them about my time up on Capitol Hill, they were all kind of digging it. I went to the car and brought back a plaque that was presented to me by Congressman Hastings from Florida where the congressman commends me on my life work in civil rights activism. More conversations come up between me and these locals. I am kind of one of them. I shoot pool with them and have some really fun conversations.

I go back there often just to see everyone; I don’t think anyone in there sees me as anything but a lady. Ok, a kind of "tough retired SEAL team lady" that has some good stories and is laid back and shoots a good game of pool, but they see me as a lady.

It’s a cool place with a lot of cool people.

1. I am MY gender, a WOMAN. I am at peace with myself. I am a better person with my mind at ease.

2. I express myself as my gender, a WOMAN. I am at peace with my outside appearance. I am a better person and my body is in balance.

3. The outside world, this bar, sees me as a WOMAN. I am at peace with people around me. I am a better person and everyone around me are better people.

We are all really seeing each other, showing respect for who we are with no worries. We are all humans.

It is possible. This bar full of rough, tough, pool playing, blue collar southerners can do it.... it is possible.