#she's getting a kidney removed today. which like. she'll be okay. she will.

[deeisace]

Loud complaining

I do Not want to go to work >:(

[pratleskitties]

"Tinney capek, mak,"

I heard that in my mind, yesterday, just as I made the online appointment to the (other) vet (after coming back from our regular vet).

Tinney is was tired. Tinney did not want meowmmy to spend so much money on her anymore.

Tinney departed yesterday, 12 Nov 2024, 21.17 hrs.

The technical cause of her death was kidney failure. The blood test was to determine whether or not she had FIP. The PCR and blood test themselves would have cost IDR 1.5 million approximately, and I already took a loan from my job that would have allowed us to do the blood tests and initial dosage of the FIP medication.

I told Tinney that we have the money, anyway, and yet Tinney preferred not to be medicated. She passed in my arms, saying those words in the title bar into my mind. I told her it's okay, she can go. I'm sorry I couldn't take care of her better.

I said goodbye, put her in the freezer to be cremated the next day. Today. Made the cremation appointment at Pancaka Damai Lestari.

Somehow I found a photo of her that is beyond cute. That represents her soul to the very core: laid back, a little mischievous, perpetually curious, loving, unafraid.

Tinney came to me at 4 weeks old. Her mother was my TNR target, and the veggie kiosk owner who used to feed her mom, Maiora, stated that Maiora was not pregnant and can be spayed. Three days after I took Maiora and sent her to be spayed, the kiosk owner came at my door saying, "when's the mama cat coming back? Her kittens are dying!"

'Oh Shit'™️was the first words I said. The next was, "bring the kittens here, I'll take care of them!"

Tinney came with her sister, Winnie, and brother, Beedy. She was the runt of the litter.

Their eyes were blue. But blessed be - they already know how to eat wf (in the wild, they had to learn faster than babies born indoor/to fully indoor parents). The vet that spayed their mother fortunately allowed the mom to return after only 2 days of inpatient (I had requested 5 days).

UNfortunately, mama didn't have anymore milk, and the three kittens promptly lost weight. Mama had hernia and was underweight to begin with, so she appreciated the extra meals that was given along with her kittens'. Mama stayed for a month, then returned to the veggie vendor's kiosk where she remained for the next 3 years until she got hit by a car and died.

Tinnie was not intended to be foster-failed. But she was, anyway. And she brought joy to the house along with horrors.

She and Winnie have EGC (eosinophilic granuloma complex). Both are allergic to fish. So meowmmy had to totally overhaul the food supplies to include fish-less foods.

Before the EGC flareups, however, she loved raw food. That is, until the household assistant made the mistake in handling the raw food and she was given it while it was already going bad. Yet she LOVED raw chicken cutlets, as long as it was meowmmy or omi (my mother) who did the cutting. It took literal two years to get Tinney to overcome her trauma with spoiled raw meat (other than chicken).

She had nearly all of her teeth removed due to EGC. That initially never stopped her from eating kibbles. Whenever she started to refuse kibbles, I would contact our vet, get her some antihistamines, and within a week, she'll get back to eating kibbles.

Still, the EGC and difficulty eating (as well as pickiness) made her lose weight. She was 6 kg at her biggest. And until her teeth were gone, she had lost 2 kgs.

She was Omi's bedmate, she would always sleep with Omi. If Omi went to bed without her, she would squeak in front of the bedroom door until it got opened.

In the past two months, we have been struggling to keep Tinney from losing weight to no avail. Yes, I have had the feeling that Tinney was suffering from kidney issue - she peed the size of the entire medium-sized litterbox and drink like a camel -- which is NOT good for cats (they should drink approximately 200-300ml depending on the weather and size of cat).

We I should have taken her to a blood check a month ago. As it were, I didn't have the budget for it. I am struggling financially, but still at the level where I can still provide for the cats - as long as it's not extraneous. As it were, the supplements and special foods Tinney needed taxed the budgets. Regardless, I would keep providing even if that means I have to cut back on my own expenses.

Tinney knew. She felt it. So she decided that her fight to live was done.

She left a big hole in my and Omi's heart, and a massive regret in my head. I wish I have more than enough funds to get her health back. I wish I could do more to make her pain gone and her cheerfulness back. I wish I could take more photos/videos of her.

Instead I videoed her passing, which I will not post because I'm just not gonna.

Goodbye, Tinney, see you at the 🌈bridge. Send our hugs for Poccie, Milcha, Ginger, and everyone who's already there, yeah? I'm sure they're happy to see you as much as I am sad to lose you. 💔