#she's both granny at heart but carefree like a young person............or carefree like a granny who stopped giving a fuck a long time ago

[cripitique]

"The true name of the last atlantean is a distant and gone memory. It shouldn't ever be spoken out loud lest the forgotten waves are recalled."

[pussykingsuperstar]

Random Kaejean headcannos I need to ger out of my head

-Jean has always had a small crush on Kaeya, from the moment she first saw him she thought he was the prettiest thing she had ever seen

- Initailly her crush was mostly because Kaeya looks like Vanessa but that became secondary as her wish to get to know him grew stronger

-As a kid Kaeya was callous and reserved, believing that his mission did not include making friends and as a defense mechanism for a child who has been thrown into a foreign land

-Initially he was envious of Jean and her place in Mondstadt but as he grew older and learnt more about her burdens he grew to admire her quietly from the sidelines

-Kaeya always thought that Jean liked Diluc because of how often visited not knowing that it was mostly because they were best friends and partly because she wanted to see him as well

-In the early days of their relationships they would rarely talk or interact without Diluc acting as a buffer between the two of them, even if they did liked each other’s company

-As they became teenagers and puberty hit both of them their relationship began to shift for the first time. Kaeya was begginig to morph into the charming persona we know now and it threw Jean off how he started to wear a fake smile unlike how he used to be more open as a kid. As for Jean she began to repress herself in order to fit better into the dandelion knight role and what others expected of her, far from the carefree kid Kaeya once knew

-When they grew older both experienced jealousy for the first time. Jean when hearing about how popular Kaeya was all thought Mondstad and how many grannies pushed their grandchildren his way and Kaeya when the Jean’s chivalrous demeanour made her fanclub grow

-What finally brought them closer was Diluc and Kaeya’s fight and the former leaving Mond

-His abssence and the uncovered curroption within the knights led to Jean and Kaeya working side by side more than they had ever done before. Now wihtout Diluc they discovered each other’s quirks and personalities on their own. Jean refrained for asking about what had transpired between the brothers directly and rather preffered to support Kaeya in discreet ways; Kaeya in return greatly appreciated the steady pressence of Jean in what was the roughtest years of his life.

-It was working alongside eachother when Kaeya discovered his feelings. Now that he was out of his brother’s shadow he discovered that he reveled in Jean’s attention and found himself wanting more. He was elated whenever he managed to make her laugh, secretly stole documents from her stash to prevent her from overworking, and admired her kindness and pure heart. It didn’t take long for someone smart like him to realize that those feelings were different from the normal comraderie he felt towards the other knights, but he inmediately locked those feelings away thinking that there was no place for someone like him to be by her side

-On the other hand Jean realizes her feelings while watching Kaeya grow into his own self, no longer bound to the shadow of his brother. She sees his devoition to Mond, how he’s whilling to do unsavory acts and look bad for the greater good and help young knights grow all while taking none of the credit.  She secretly prides herself in being one of the only, if not the only, person who gets to know Kaeya this way. When she notices that she want to share this with no one else does she realize that she has finally fallen in love

-They dance around each other for a while thought to the average onlooker it looks as if nothing is happening but to more observant people like Lisa and the traveler their devotion is as clear as water.

-It takes Diluc out of all people to get them togetehr, pointing out their obvious feelings and encouraging both of them to confess

-The new status does not change much in their relationship, at least not in public. They are not the type of couple to get touchy feely in public

[kolachess]

DMBJ Names and Honorifics Explained - Don’t trust the subs!

I’ve no idea if someone has already made such a post, but I really like explaining Chinese as it’s also good practice for me, so here we go.

If you are a non-Chinese speaker, you might have noticed inconsistencies in subs when referring to all the different characters. And / or that the names don’t seem to match up to the sound of the name. 

So here’s a little cultural and character guide to understanding DMBJ names.

Why are there so many names, nicknames, and honorifics for one person in a Chinese drama? To chalk this all up to nicknames is... grossly over-simplifying things. The thing with names / honorifics is very rooted in Chinese culture itself. Chinese culture is one heavily indexed on relations and hierarchy, so depending on your place in the ‘hierarchy’, whether it’s society or family, you will refer to each other as different things. As an example to illustrate complexity, where in English, ‘uncle’ refers to all male siblings of either of your parents, in Chinese, your father’s younger brother is addressed differently from your father’s older brother and also different from your mother’s brother. 

Chinese names and translation to English - Space? No space? Hyphens? Last name first?

So Chinese is a pictographic language. Each ‘character’ is one word, and one syllable exactly. Hence, you don’t need spaces or hyphens or anything in Chinese. Spaces and hyphens when romanized are purely for English speakers’ convenience. 

For example, in Chinese, the names would be written as wuxie, wusanxing, wangpangzi, etc. (And no such thing as capitalization either.) As a general rule of thumb, because for documentation purposes, the surname is separated out, Chinese people generally end up writing the given name all smushed together even if they are 2 words.

And yes, the surname always goes first. Other way is just... weird. Never happens.

Can you space out two words of a given name? Sure I suppose. Probably less seen.

As for hyphens with honorifics... sure? I’m not sure if smush together or hyphen is more official actually... 

What are Chinese names? How do people pick a name?

Unlike English names, Chinese people compose their names. Which means... you can have anything from names that have literary eloquence and deeper meaning，like ‘Wu Xie’, where ‘Wu’ is homonymous with ‘Without’ and ‘Xie’ means ‘Evil’, so Wu Xie’s name carries the meaning of ‘no evil’...

...to names that have little to no deep meaning and sometimes downright stupid sounding, like ‘Wang Pangzi’ which does indeed translate to Wang Fatty lol.

That’s why if you ask Chinese people to provide common Chinese names, they’ll stare at you blankly. Of course, that’s not to say there aren’t some popular names, given people sometimes name themselves after famous people and there are plenty of generic ones as well.

But this is also why, when meeting for the first time, you might hear a lot of people explaining how their name is written (i.e. with which word), because there are a looooot of homonymous words and it’s impossible to tell how write someone’s name without them ‘spelling it out’.

How do Chinese people call each other by name?

Most Chinese names (surname + given name) will form 2-3 syllables (very rarely there will be 4). 

General rule of thumb:

- Using someone’s full name is always generally acceptable (not to be confused with addressing them... that’s a whole different game).

- You never refer to someone with one syllable. Which means if their given name is only one syllable, you pretty much always say both surname + given name together (Hence why Wu Xie is always Wu Xie and never ‘Xie’). If their given name is two syllables, you might call them by given name only if you’re familiar. 

Of course, there are tons of ways to give people nicknames (more explanation below), so you might end up only using one syllable of someone’s name, but in conjunction with another prefix / suffix of sorts.

So yes, the subs say ‘Zhang’ for Zhang Qiling but that’s BS no one has ever referred to him as simply ‘Zhang’. And for that matter, no one ever refers to him as simply Qiling either, though that’s more out of habit than any rules of names. And finally, they rarely refer to him as Zhang Qiling at all... more explanation below.

Basic ‘prefix’ / ‘suffix’ / ‘honorific’ introductions relevant for DMBJ

These aren’t really prefixes and suffixes and honorifics. They’re simply words. But for sake of simplicity, let’s just treat them as that.

-ye (sounds like ‘yeah’) = ‘Grandpa’ of the generic ‘old man’ sense, but also ‘master’ or ‘lord’ to indicate status / respect. 

Example usage: Wu Sanxing (Wu Xie’s third uncle) - People like Pan Zi call him Sanye, which means ‘Third Master’. 

It can also be casually used by someone to refer to themselves in third person and indicate their ‘prowess’. Again, due to Chinese cultural relations, there’s a lot of emphasis on hierarchy, so people often humorously refer to themselves in third person with a title of more seniority (’this ancestor’ or ‘this old miss’). 

Example usage: Pangzi always referring to himself as Pangye. ‘Make way, Pangye is coming in clutch with the bombs!’.

-shu (sounds more like ‘soo’) = ‘Uncle’. This can be an uncle related, or not. 

Example usage: Wu Sanxing (Wu Xie’s third uncle). Wu Xie and his peers will generally call him Sanshu, because they’re of the same generation and need to call Sanshu with some level of respect. Of course, Sanye is also respectful, so certainly Pangzi can call him Sanye. But Pangzi calling him Wu Sanxing would be disrespectful. (Zhang Qiling on the other hand, technically can call him whatever since he’s the oldest haha).

-ayi (sounds like ‘ah-yee’) = ‘Aunt’. Similar as uncle. 

Example usage: Chen Wenjing (in Ultimate Note, Sanshu’s former girlfriend). You’ll notice Wu Xie addressed her as Wenjing-ayi. Of course, since she was a bit less familiar with them, and wasn’t always around, he and others will refer to her as simply Chen Wenjing... it’s complicated. The nuances of when it’s ok to leave off the suffix is an art form lol.

-ge (sounds like ‘guh’) = ‘older brother’. Can also be related or not. Can be used alone, or doubled up (which tends to be cuter).

Example usage: Huo Xiuxiu refers to Wu Xie as ‘Wu Xie-gege’ and Xie Yuchen as ‘Xiao Hua-gege’. Pangzi told Yun Cai (the girl he crushed on) to call him ‘Pangge’. And yes! This is the ‘ge’ in Xiaoge. More explanation below.

Xiao (sounds like ‘shall’) = ‘Small’ or ‘Little’. This is often used in creating a nickname and used first before a name.

Example usage: Wu Xie’s second uncle will refer to him as ‘Xiao Xie’. Wu Xie refers to Xie Yuchen as ‘Xiao Hua’, which translates to ‘Little Flower’ and is a nickname based off his stage name, Jie Yuhua. And yes! This is the ‘xiao’ in Xiaoge. More explanation below (because translating it as ‘little older brother’ makes no sense I know).

Lao (sounds like ‘lao’ lol) = ‘Old’. Similar usage as ‘xiao’.

Example usage: I think I remember Granny Huo perhaps referring to Wu Laogou (Wu Xie’s grandfather) as ‘Lao Wu’?  But also, yes, his actual name has that word too.

Numbers - Numbers are very commonly used in nicknames.

Er (sounds like ‘are’) = Two / Second.

San (sounds like ‘san’ lol idk) = Three / Third.

Hence why Wu Xie refers to his uncles as ‘Sanshu’ and ‘Ershu’. (And yes, their names themselves also conveniently carry the numbers...)

You’ll never say ‘one’ though. Instead, ‘da’ or big / large is used.

Names of the characters

Wow so only after all that can we begin to explain the many names... Let’s begin.

Wu Xie - Wu Xie is actually the most straightforward thank god. Most people will call him this, Zhang Qiling included.

AKA Tianzhen or even Xiao Tianzhen - This is nickname provided Pangzi gave him meaning ‘naive’ or ‘innocent’, and what Pangzi calls him most if not all the time. There’s a phrase in Chinese too called ‘tianzhenwuxie’ to mean innocent, carefree, and pure. The ‘wu’ there is a different but homonymous word with Wu Xie’s ‘Wu’, but the meaning and reference is clear (Chinese has looooots of homonyms and puns). This is also why that phrase ‘My lifetime, in exchange for you a decade of innocence and purity.’ from Zhang Qiling to Wu Xie is so heart-wrenching, because those last four Chinese words are ‘tianzhenwuxie’, a poetic play on his two names. 😭 

AKA Xiao Xie - Called by his second uncle, Wu Erbai

AKA Da Zhizi - Called by his third uncle, meaning ‘big nephew’. ‘Da’ here just means the oldest really. Wu Xie is Wu Sanxing’s oldest (but also only) nephew. And ‘nephew’ here too specifically refers to the son of your brother.

AKA Xiao Sanye - Called by Pan Zi, Bai Haotian (from Lost Tomb Reboot). Sanye here is in reference to how he dogs his third uncle’s footsteps all the time. And he’s the younger version so... there.

AKA Laoban or Wu-laoban - Called by Wang Meng, business partners because laoban means ‘boss’.

Zhang Qiling - Whew OK honestly, I don’t think of him as ‘Zhang Qiling’ much at all, because very rarely do any of the other characters refer to him as Zhang Qiling. Most of the time it’s...

AKA Xiaoge - This is what Wu Xie and Pangzi refer to him a lot as. Xiaoge literally translates to ‘little big brother’, but that meaning is weird in English. So don’t think of it that way. Xiaoge is just a generic term for a young guy. Like... ‘lad’? Lol. But he’s all mysterious and stuff so the generic term just stuck. This is also why in Tomb of the Sea, someone referred to Li Cu as ‘xiaoge’, because he was indeed a xiaoge. But in Wu Xie’s heart, there’s only one Xiaoge. ❤️

AKA Menyouping - The name of this ship! Pingxie! This is what Wu Xie referred to him mostly as in his first POV novel. It means ‘stuffy oil bottle’ and communicates the sentiment of ‘poker face’ or just someone with no expressions.

Note on Zhang Qiling: This name is actually a title rather than a name. Qiling is the title given to the Zhang patriarch responsible for handling the spirits of their ancestors... eh it’s complicated and warrants its own post if you want to know more.

Note on ‘Kylin’: I know this is what the official translations had it, but like... wtf. What, no. Like, idk what happened here, but this is a terrible mistranslation. ‘Kylin’ or ‘Qilin’ is the name of the mystical beast of which Zhang Qiling has a tattoo of, but it is two entirely different words from the ‘Qiling’. Don’t let the similarity in English spelling fool you. Completely different words. Some translator thought Kylin might market better probably. But... no. It’s just wrong. I have to do a double-take when I see people writing ‘Kylin’. Come on translators, have more faith in your English speaking audience. Fans can adapt! Don’t butcher the name for sake of marketability!

Wang Pangzi - Yes, ‘Fatty’ is the accurate translation haha. Most people refer to him as Pangzi, including Wu Xie and Zhang Qiling.

AKA Pangye - Referred to by Pangzi himself, but also sometimes people who are trying to suck up to Pangzi.

AKA Pangge - Referred to by his love interests.

Wu Sanxing - Wu Xie’s third uncle. See, I don’t even know what to call him by default because I’m not sure what the subs tend to say. 

AKA Sanshu - Wu Xie and his friends will call him this.

AKA Sanye - Pan Zi and other people in the industry will call him this.

Hei Yanjing - Again, I’ve no idea which name to use as his primary. Translates literally to ‘sunglasses’. Not technically ‘black sunglasses because that’s redundant’. See, even the spacing between his name here is unnecessary because this isn’t his official name, only a nickname. I don’t think we have his real name. But this version is generally called by most others I think?

AKA Hei Xiazi - This means ‘black blind person’, and is what Xiaoge refers to him as... and some others.

AKA Heiye - Just a more respectful reference. Called by Xie Yuchen.

Xie Yuchen - Called by Xiaoge and others less familiar.

Jie Yuhua - His stage name.

Xiao Hua - Called by Wu Xie, as it’s a nickname built off of his stage name.

Huaye - Called by Hei Yanjing and Pangzi, but more so out of humorous flattery than anything. 

.

.

Whew that was a lot. Just be glad this isn’t MDZS where people had courtesy names on top of all these names... I think I’ll stop there, but feel free to shoot me any questions about other characters!

[neshabeingchildish]

Hensley & Char: Friends or Whatever || Part 5

@just-a-j-reallly @junknstu1f @wandmaximoff I am SO SORRY that this took this long and is still this short, but girls, y’all know i be hustling.A lot of corona dodging happening, since some folks got it around me and just other things as well. Hopefully, this one still matters tho. :)

The Secret Adventures of Hensley and Char

Charlotte stuffed her bookbag and rushed out of the door, mentally calculating the tightness of her schedule tonight. There was going to be an announcement this evening and since Hensley would have to go as Kid Danger, Charlotte was tasked with watching Piper after school. She didn’t mind. Piper was the closest she might come to ever having a little sister and since she was covering for a Man Cave related reason, she could submit a payment request to Ray for the babysitting hours. She deserved some compensation for taking on something else while she was trying to get her body ready to sign up for a marathon.

This evening would be the FIRST time that she had to cringe about Piper’s Kid Danger fangirling. “I’m basically GAY for Kid Danger!” the kid cheered.

“You don’t need to be saying that,” Charlotte offered. She wanted to expound, but she didn’t want to be obvious, but she couldn’t think of a single thing that she could add that might not make her seem homophobic or something. “You’re 8,” she finally settled on.

“I’m 9!” Piper corrected her.

“Also too young to focus on crushes. Crush those books,” Charlotte said, hating the fact that she sounded like her mother. 

After she brought Piper back home and checked in with the Harts, allowing Jasper to tell them an indirect lie about where Henry was. (Charlotte had botched it up by telling him that Hensley’s goldfish had babies), and whenever Jasper asked them about it and they were confusedly discussing whether or not Hensley had a goldfish, Charlotte ducked out to head back to Junk N’ Stuff for an emergency. 

She’d just text Jasper the lie that Hensley decided she wasn’t ready to be a goldfish granny and parted with all of them… Yeah! Lying was so much easier via text. The truth was that somehow, Captain Man was not indestructible, and as the brains of the operation, Ray had demanded that she come in PRONTO and get with Gooch on trying to figure out what was happening and what to do. “I’m literally a 13 year old girl,” she said to herself, after sending Jasper the text and reading through Ray’s meltdown in her texts. “What does he want me to do?”

She wondered this more and more as time went by. Technically, to be honest… She often was the one to figure things out and help save the day with her brains, but, still… And being the person to try to tell the lies to Jasper was a struggle too. Jasper was simple, but she knew that she wasn’t very good at lying. She had to always text him the lie. Sometimes, from right next to him. Luckily, the confusion of why she texted him while she was right next to him instead of just telling him was enough to throw him off of the weirdness of her and Hensley’s new secret lifestyle.

And THAT was a journey of adventure for Charlotte. She had been reading books since she was 3, and now, she got to live out everything from botched hero antics (Only her journal would ever know the story of what happened to poor Ortho), to unfortunately having to remain quiet while Jasper made an utter fool of himself over a girl, pretending to be Kid Danger… Why… Did that girl think that the OBVIOUS girl in KD’s costume could be Jasper? WHY??? It brought the conversation back up between the trio that “Maybe Kid Danger isn’t a she!” But… Hensley and Charlotte simply had to be mad that Jasper was very willingly being obtuse about her gender, because yikes… the conversation went way wrong and Hensley was looking a little transphobic before too long. Charlotte shut both of them down with a, “Hensley… Just because Kid Danger looks like a girl to you doesn’t necessarily mean that they have to BE one. YOU don’t know for sure whether they are or aren’t. Jasper, you know that whether or not they are a girl, YOU are not Kid Danger. You and her have been in the room at the same time on several occasions! We need not ever discuss the true identity of Kid Danger, EVER again, because I don’t like either of you right now!” 

Weeks of patrols, dozens of missions, hundreds of memories. Charlotte and Hensley were both a little sad that they had to hide these things away from Jasper, but they were also having a good time and unintentionally bonding too… 

Though, that changed a little bit whenever Chloe finally decided that she was ready to be comfortable with herself. That even if she didn’t necessarily like girls, she really liked Hensley and that should be enough to make the two of them matter… even though Charlotte was painfully aware that Chloe sort of “viewed Hensley as a boy.” She didn’t hate her. She just wasn’t someone that Charlotte could see Hensley being very happy with for a long time. She decided to just not think too deeply about it. Hensley’s bad habits of neglecting others would soon catch up to them.

When it did, Charlotte was entertained from the outside of it. Firstly, there was the slightly terrifying transformation that Hensley went through, turning into what Charlotte could only describe as a Cavebeast - Hens and Jasper had a small tiff in the midst of Hensley trying to get things good with Chloe, and at some point… Hensley turned into a boy!

He was… alright, Charlotte guessed. She wasn’t into him. He was only there for a moment, anyway, but one thing tapdanced on Charlotte’s psyche upon seeing him… She wasn’t sure if boys were her thing. 

Since she had become friends with Hensley, there was always something about her that got beneath Charlotte’s skin in a number of ways. Charlotte thought it was because Hensley was carefree and careless - two things that she herself couldn’t afford to be and therefore often tried to police out of others. But, it made Hensley endearing to Charlotte. The smaller, smarter girl felt like she needed to guide and protect her… but, now that Hensley was a sidekick and Charlotte had seen her prove herself for months… she knew that she didn’t have to be this protective. She shouldn’t have to offer as much guidance and advice as Hensley still seemed to think she needed. But, it was nice to be needed, so Charlotte never stopped, even in those moments when Hensley was not open to her assistance. 

People sometimes thought that there was a romantic connection between the two, to which both girls would laugh. Charlotte would tell them, “We’re just friends,” and Hensley would say, “Charlotte’s not gay.” Something that Hensley assumed. Charlotte had never confirmed nor denied it, but she would know, right? She’d know if she liked girls. She was old enough and smart enough, wasn’t she?

Apparently, those weren’t the indicators needed to determine this. Her indication was whenever she saw boy Hensley… He was lanky and tall and there was something like Hensley about him, but… she just didn’t like him, but she liked Hensley. And, it took losing her for a moment, the fear of thinking that they might lose her forever to the beast form, and the boy version of her for Charlotte to have a moment of clarity. She liked Hensley. The way that she was. She liked her that way, a lot. 

Maybe it was simply the fear tricking her. She wouldn’t say anything. Besides, there was Chloe, and… it would be complicated anyway. Charlotte mentally shut that down and didn’t speak of it out loud. She couldn’t like Hensley, so she figured she was one of those people who must’ve swooned platonically over her friends. It didn’t extend to Jasper, but… he was weird, so she just accepted that was why. It wasn’t because like poor Piper, that she was “gay for” her friend. It wasn’t. She silently reminded herself of this at times whenever her heart was especially soft for Hens, and was thankful that she didn’t need to do so too often… Because Hensley could be a wreck sometimes. A clueless wreck.

But Hensley was her clueless wreck.

Whenever Charlotte took Piper to the movies and the little girl had the opportunity to work with Captain Man and Kid Danger, as well as become the new president of the Man Fans, Charlotte brought her home afterwards, turned her over to Hensley and said, “We’ve gotta talk.” Piper was still on Cloud 9 about her night, so she rushed to her room, talking on the phone about how amazing it was - a night that she in portion had Charlotte to thank for and wouldn’t soon forget it, Hensley looked at Charlotte.

“What’s up, Char?”

“Your sister. She has a super crush on Kid Danger,” Charlotte said.

“My sister is gay too?” Hensley asked, excited, but then winced and said, “Wait!” 

“Yeah…” Charlotte said, “And also, I don’t know that she’s gay. She could simply respect Kid Danger so much that she sees her in a light that she sees no one else, and honestly, same.” Charlotte’s face warmed whenever she said that, but to try to backtrack might make it seem suspicious.

“So… You’re gay for Kid Danger, too?” Hensley teased.

“What? No! She’s just very admirable and… and…”

“I was obviously joking, Char,” Hensley laughed, and pulled her into a one armed hugged and kissed her forehead, “Thanks again for hanging out with Piper. She needs an older female person around sometimes.”

“You’re…” Charlotte started as she moved out of Hensley’s reach.

“Yeah, but I meant like, you know, a girl, girl. One that I don’t know, can rock a skirt and like likes boys or whatever.”

Why does everyone just presume that I like boys? EVEN my lesbian best friend, whbo snhould know better than to presume things about people’s identities…

“This is stupid,” Charlotte said, keeping the front thoughts to herself. “Night, Hens.”

.

Chloe went to star on Kids in the Woods, and honestly, Charlotte wouldn’t miss her, but Hensley was very sad to see her go. Which, Charlotte only understood to a certain degree, because… she never really had time for Chloe ANYWAYS, and now, she wouldn’t have to always try to make up reasons that she had to duck out or cancel. But seeing Hensley depressed was sad and over a girl? Of all the frivolous things. This was a girl who fought crime and faced villains, and what was she doing… being heartbroken over her girlfriend? Pathetic.

Charlotte let Jasper break into her thoughts and welcomed the interruption, because she was thinking TOO much about Hensley anyway. But, after only a few minutes of Jasper talking, she regretted letting him interrupt her thoughts. I have GOT to find other friends, she thought, frivolously. She definitely was not going to try to meet new people nor get close to the ones that she knew casually. She did wish that she could bounce some of her Hensley problems off of Jasper, though. But… too many of them would reflect upon Kid Danger, and… she sighed. That part of Hensley’s world was shut off to the rest of the world. In that way, they were connected. 

That’s what it was. That was all it was. They were connected by this very important secret and ALL of Charlotte’s confusing feelings were related to that connection. “Thank you Charlotte. I knew that you would figure this out,” she told herself confidently. 

[bromfieldhall]

Force of Feeling - CS Fanfic: Modern AU

Synopsis:  Emma Swan is scared of opening her heart up to any man ever again. Love only brings pain as far as she's concerned but then she meets someone who could prove her wrong...if only she has the courage to let him in.

Read from the beginning on FF.Net or AO3

Rated: T

CHAPTER THREE

Emma picked up the royal blue coloured scarf and placed it onto the silver wrapping paper.

Christmas was in a week and she just had these last two presents to wrap. They were for James and Killian.

Folding the paper neatly, she taped down the edges and added a small tag. 'To Killian, Best wishes, Emma and Henry', she wrote. Nothing that could be taken as anything other than it was – just giving a gift to a friend at this festive time of year.

She didn't care to dwell on all the hours she'd spent searching for just the right colour to match his eyes. Especially since they'd only ever spoken of getting the boys gifts and not each other.

With an irritated huff at herself, she moved on to wrapping the second gift to James.

Killian had confided that he'd bought his nephew a new games console for Christmas, so she'd decided to buy the boy a game. With Henry's help, they'd picked something out and, once it was wrapped, they were going to the park to give it to him.

She attached the tag and, trying hard not to second guess herself, she picked up Killian's present then called out to Henry to let him know she was ready. Her son came out of his bedroom and once they'd donned their coats, hats and gloves, they headed out of their apartment.

The late morning air was crisp as they made their way to the park. Up above, the clouds looked heavy with more snow and a few flakes were just beginning to fall by the time they arrived.

As usual, Killian and James were already there and getting started on one of their snowy creative efforts. Over the weeks they'd made a dog, attempted a horse, built an army of snowmen and even tried to construct a car – hers - life size.

"Swan! You and Henry are just in time to help us make a snow bear," Killian called out, having seen her almost as soon as she'd entered the park.

"Awesome," the young boy enthused before shooting a grin at his mother and running off.

Emma watched him go, then her gaze shifted and finally settled on Killian as he stood waiting for her to join them, a soft smile on his face.

Suddenly, she felt flutter of trepidation stir in her gut.

What had she been thinking buying him a gift?

What if he took it to mean more?

Maybe she actually wanted it to mean more...

"Emma? Are you okay?"

At his concerned voice, she blinked and looked at him a little dazedly. Her thoughts had caught her off-guard. So much so, that she hadn't even realised that she'd come to a halt a few feet away from him.

"Yeah, I'm fine," she muttered, giving herself a mental shake. She couldn't, wouldn't go there.

Clutching the presents a little tighter, she started towards him again then virtually thrust them into his hands as soon as she drew level.

"These are for you and James," she told him in a rush.

Killian stared back at her in surprise for a moment. He never in a million years expected that.

"You bought something for me?" he asked incredulously, turning the packages over and fingering the tags. "Thank you."

Emma shrugged, trying for nonchalance - trying not to read too much into his reaction.

"It's nothing much."

Inwardly she winced at just how dismissive she'd sounded but, incredibly, Killian slowly smiled.

She could give him a bowl of rotting fruit as far as he was concerned. All that mattered was that she'd considered him important enough in her life to actually give him something.

"It's the thought that counts, Emma," he reminded her warmly, doing his best to remain composed even though he was fairly humming with happiness at her unexpected gesture. "Speaking of which, I have a little something for you too."

"You do?"

Now it was her turn to be surprised. Apart from Henry and her friend, Mary-Margaret, no-one ever gave her anything.

Killian picked up the plastic bag he'd dropped when she'd given him their presents and handed it over. It took a little nod of encouragement for her to actually reach out and take it and it felt bittersweet to him that she seemed genuinely floored.

"Henry's is in there as well," he informed her quietly.

"Thanks," she said with a brief smile.

The bag was light but before she could take a look at what was inside, the boys called out to say they'd finished.

"That was quick," Killian remarked as he turned to survey their latest creation, only to be hit square in the face with a snowball.

"Gotcha, Uncle Killian!" James shouted in glee.

Spluttering a little, the dark haired man wiped the icy slush from his face and looked over to see the boys grinning widely back at him. It was clear from the pile of snowballs at their feet that the snow bear idea had been discarded.

"Oh, you're going to pay for that, lads," he mock threatened, then scooped up a handful of snow and lobbed it back at the boys.

They ducked and laughed, then the fight began in earnest. Emma joined in on Killian's side and it was only when the snow, that had been falling lightly, became noticeably heavier that they finally called an end to their fun.

Wet, cold and just happy, Emma felt more carefree than she had in years and sent a dazzling, completely unguarded grin in Killian's direction.

His breath caught at the sight of her; she practically glowed. He didn't think he could recall a more beautiful sight...ever.

Heart thudding, it hit him then, with a blinding bolt of clarity, that this woman was it for him. Never had another person come even close to evoking the intense feelings that Emma could with just a look – or a touch.

It was nearly overwhelming, the storm of feeling, of love, that suddenly coursed through his body. But as much as he wanted to tell her – to shout it from the rooftops if he were honest – he knew it would be the end of what they had and not the beginning of something more.

She wasn't ready and he had absolutely no idea if she ever would be. The protective walls around her heart were sky high, but he had no intention of scaling them. He wanted her to take them down herself because she wanted to; he'd take her lead in whatever she wanted them to be – or not.

And in the meantime, he was just going do his utmost to ensure that she more reasons to smile. To feel as joyous as she so obviously did right in this moment, because the one thing Killian did know without a shadow of a doubt, was that Emma Swan deserved to be that happy all of the time.

"Uncle Killian and me are going to Granny's now," James announced brightly as they all left the park together.

"So are we," exclaimed Henry, pleased that he was going to have an opportunity to spend more time with his friend. "We could sit together."

"Well, if you're going there anyway, you're very welcome to join Robin and I, Swan?" Killian offered with a smile as they walked towards the diner.

"No – thanks, but I'm meeting Mary-Margaret and David," she told him stiltedly, her untroubled expression from mere moments before replaced by her usual guardedness instead. "It's their first time out with Leo, so..."

"Of course, you wish to spend your time with them."

He nodded understandingly and looked away, seemingly unaffected by her rejection, but inside his stomach fell a little. One step forward...

Emma glanced over at him with a frown, her insides a mass of writhing confusion. Her response had been automatic. A need to put some distance between her and Killian because, for a moment back there, she'd forgotten herself; something that she was finding far too easy to do in his company lately. And she couldn't keep letting it happen because she was slowly coming to the startling realisation that her reaction to him was borne more out of habit, rather than from any real desire to do so.

Obviously, the logical thing to do would be to stop seeing him and, ever since Neal, her head always won when it came to her personal life.

Always.

So why wasn't it winning now?

"Here we are," Killian announced as they reached the diner.

Deep in thought, Emma looked up in surprise that they'd gotten there so quickly. Killian went ahead and opened the door, giving a little bow and jaunty salute as she and the boys walked passed before following them inside.

Removing her hat and gloves, she muttered out her thanks as she shook off the snow and gazed around the diner in search of her friends. Standing next to her, Killian stamped the slush off his shoes then looked up to see not just the boys, but most of the people in the diner staring at him – no - them as well.

He frowned slightly in puzzlement, then glanced over at Emma who looked just as perplexed as he did.

"You're under the mistletoe," Henry pointed out helpfully with a smirk.

Both of them immediately looked up and sure enough, above their heads, hanging from the ceiling, was a small sprig of the festive plant. Emma's gaze flew to Killian who returned it steadily, face impassive.

"Well don't just stand there; kiss!" Granny called out jovially from behind the counter.

Emma felt her face grow warm. She'd completely forgotten that the diner's owner always hung mistletoe there. Hell, she used to be the one that hung it! Even laughed at others discomfiture in the past. It was a well known tradition in the town that everyone participated in, but usually it didn't affect her because she was either alone or with Henry.

Until now.

How did she get out of this? Moreover, how did she get out of this when a part of her, contrarily, really wanted it to happen? Wanted to know what his lips would feel like against hers. Had wondered, dreamed even, what it would be like to kiss him, and here it was, handed to her on a platter with no strings attached.

On the surface it was just a silly Christmas tradition, but deep down she feared that it was one that would leave her wanting more.

It was the feel of Killian taking hold of her hand in his warm grasp that pulled her out of her jumbled thoughts. She glanced down, then quickly looked back up at him, eyes widening slightly as he gave her a quick nod before bringing her hand to his lips.

His caress was light, a mere brush across her knuckles, the mild abrasion of his whiskered chin leaving her skin tingling as he pulled away. His gaze had never left hers for a second, lending their public moment an air of intimacy that had her pulse racing with a now, all-to-familiar awareness. As he straightened up, he slowly caressed the back of her hand with his thumb before letting go and taking a step back.

"Problem solved," he murmured, hand clenching at his side as he determinedly resisted the urge to touch his fingers to his lips. Instead, he forced a bright smile to his face and hoped he didn't look too much like the lovesick fool he knew himself to be.

Emma nodded and took her own step back as his words sunk in.

"Yeah, thanks."

Giving him a brief smile back, she then abruptly turned away. Now the show was over, the low hum of conversation between diners began once more and she saw Granny give her a wink before bustling off.

"Emma, over here," came Mary-Margaret's cheerful voice from nearby.

She looked at the booth where her friends sat, then glanced at Killian again.

"I'd better go."

"Aye, me too," he replied, gesturing towards a table at the back where Robin and his son were sitting. "Thank you, again, for the presents."

"And yours," she said, her smile coming a little more easily. "Have a nice Christmas."

"You too, Emma."

He watched her walk off then headed over to the rear of the diner.

"Can I go and sit with James?" Roland was asking just as Killian approached their table.

"Certainly," Robin allowed. He watched his son join the other boys that were sitting a couple of tables away then gazed back at his friend who was just draping his coat over the back of his chair. "Well, that was an interesting spectacle," he commented quietly as Killian sat down.

A fellow Brit, the two men had bonded over a couple of pints and the common ground of single parenthood shortly after Killian had moved to Storybrooke. They'd become fast friends, but as close as they were, Killian had yet to tell him anything about his feelings for Emma - and, for now, while he was still reeling from his own little epiphany, he planned to keep it that way.

Without a word, he gave a careless shrug then picked up the menu and feigned interest. He knew exactly what he was having, but if pretending to read it could stop Robin from saying anything more on the subject then all the better.

It didn't.

"Oh, I see," the other man drawled with a hint of amusement. "You like her."

"Aye, we're friends, of course I like her," Killian replied in a clipped tone, eyes firmly fixed on the menu.

"Friends, my arse," Robin scoffed lightly.

Giving up all pretence, Killian put down the menu and scowled at his friend.

"In case I'm not being subtle enough for you, mate, I don't want to talk about it."

"Ah, so there is something to talk about then?" he challenged archly.

"Not if you still want to come over for dinner on Christmas day," Killian retorted in annoyance.

Unperturbed by his threat, Robin merely grinned and leaned forward to impart with obvious enjoyment, "I promise I shan't say another word on the subject, except...that if it's any consolation my friend, I think she likes you too."

And that's the problem, Killian thought to himself wryly even as he gave Robin an exasperated look. Emma Swan didn't want to like him. It scared her and, out of that fear, she was hell and determined to keep him at arm's length.

Quite possibly forever.

"Let's just eat, shall we?" he suggested grimly, trying, and failing miserably, to not glance at the woman who had unknowingly captured his heart.

This time Robin wisely took the hint and called a waitress over.

END CHAPTER THREE

Tagging those that might be interested:  @hookedmom, @captainswank-e, @flslp87, @alpha-redd, @the-reason-to-sail-home, @galadriel26, @katie-dub,@walkerfairytales,@emmascaptn, @vigorousjazzzhands, @smoakinmayor, @laughswaytoomuch, @piratesbooty63fan, @natascha-remi-ronin, @bookishgiraffe, @jackieorioncat, @bethacaciakay, @liketenerifesea, @ab-normality, @mamageek2107, @teamhook, @fleurreads, @kmomof4   @justanotherwannabeclassic, @whimsicallyenchantedrose, @deathbycaptainswan, @tomeandflickcorner, @nerdherd8, @eala-captian, @n3llaxo, @laurnorder, @doctorwhohook86, @slimacwrites

[snowbellewells]

“Always Running”

Here’s the second “Once Upon a Time” story I ever wrote.  Once again, this is general cast of characters; mostly focusing on Ruby and a bit of her friendship with Snow.  It’s been pretty fun really digging back into my earliest OuaT fic writings lately.  Whoever started the whole #ouat fandom crescendo idea off - I’m really digging it! :).  Hope you all are having fun reading!  Tomorrow will be the first official CS ff I ever wrote, set on the way to Neverland…

Some of this obviously might not quite fit in with canon, but I still think it deals with some realistic and interesting feelings and motives for Ruby/Red’s character. I’d say it fits in somewhere between “Children of the Moon” and “The Outsider” during season two, but has some definite AU elements as well.

 “Always Running”

By: snowbellewells (TutorGirlml on ff.net)

             Run, run, run!... Faster…please…If I can just get as far away from here as possible… Her feet pound on the hard soil, branches whip through her long, dark hair and claw at her face as she flies in fear from the temptation to destroy.  She is panting, her heart racing, senses fully aware of the stench of terror and blood on the stormy night wind.  Only moments ago, everything had been perfect – blissfully so – she and Peter alone together under a gorgeous, full moon, making plans for the rest of their lives together, once she got him through this night.  Now, Red finds herself running like a startled rabbit or a leaf before a maelstrom.  Still, no matter how quickly she flees, it will never be swift enough to leave behind what she has done.

           She is the wolf!  How did she not know?!  So many things make sense now – now that it is too late.  It is suddenly clear why she has always been able to separate and follow certain scents, the way she hears things no one else can, why it has never frightened her to wander into the woods, even when the other children won’t.  Peter often says…

           Peter!  His name: the name she has called on since they were six years old and catching frogs in the creek or fetching kindling for his father’s forge; suddenly, it stabs a knife to the very core of her heart.  Vines and needled brush rip at her bare hands and catch at her skirt and cloak, her breath grows ragged – a sharp, aching pain settling under her ribs – but Red continues to race further into the black of night and the forest’s depths.  Images of his adoring gaze, his messy, tufted, black hair standing up in cowlicks he could never tame, his strong hands and warm smile, all flash through her mind in dizzying succession, battering her with the fleeting idyll their growing up together and brief young love had been. Peter has always been with her, for as long as she can remember.  What will she do now that he is gone?  How can she live with herself?  It’s all her fault.  She is the wolf!  The man she loves is dead, and she killed him!

           Red wonders if she will ever stop running now.  With what she has done, she will never belong anywhere, never be able to rest.  She cannot return to her sleepy little village, where her neighbors are still hunting the wolf, where she has lived a lie with her granny, where she played and snuck kisses and dreamed dreams with Peter and will now see his absence everywhere.

           The past hour still replays in vicious detail, looping through her mind. Peter’s trusting face resurfaces continually.  He let her chain him to a tree, thinking that she could keep him from turning into the dreaded monster.  Instead, she sentenced him to death and led him like a lamb to the slaughter.  It is too much to be forced to relive: hearing him beg for recognition, and then the animal growl in her other form’s throat, her reasoning mind not housed in the savage, primal body that stalked toward the boy she loves without care for his pleas.  She ripped him apart, and knows she will never have peace from the lurid, unsettling memories.

           Eventually even supernatural endurance runs out, and Red falls to the wet, mossy ground, panting, curling into a ball and feeling tears wet her cheeks, neck, and chest as they pour silent and unchecked from her eyes.  If she were in her lupine form, she would be howling to the remorseless moon, cursed not by her werewolf other half, but by the knowledge of it which has come too late.  The moonlight bathes her pale skin, giving it an otherworldly glow, beautiful even in her sorrow.  Anyone who could see her would wish to hold her, to comfort her, but the only arms she longs for are gone now, never to return…

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Sometime later, in Storybrooke, Maine…

           Each morning when Ruby Lucas wakes in her little apartment above Granny’s diner, she stares out the window peacefully for just a moment, letting herself bask happily in the dawn of a new day’s sun, smiling at its warmth on her face, stretching her arms above her head, working the kinks from her back and relishing the few blissful seconds of still-sleepy haze before it all returns to her. She does not get long until she remembers that she is also Red Riding Hood – and a werewolf – and though she lives in a town full of real-life fairy tale characters, True Love’s Kiss, and magical adventure, her handsome prince will never ride up to find her on his gleaming white horse; she lost her chance for a happily ever after long ago.

           Once that all floods back into her memory, there is nothing for Ruby to do but turn from the morning light at the window and dress for the day before heading down to the diner to work.  Wearing red, as she never fails to do, Ruby sighs, not sure if she means it as a warning sign or some sort of penitent self-reprisal.  She knows this day too will be the same as the day before and the endless procession of days to come.  She was once so blissfully naïve – still a little girl really, in her former existence – and unaware of the beast which had been lurking within all the time. Now that Emma has broken the curse, Ruby knows that people look at her as some sort of confusing curiosity. Those who knew her in their real home, as Red, cannot understand where the brazen, flirtatious, outrageously dressed siren of Storybrooke comes from, but Ruby doesn’t have the heart to explain. She isn’t so sure it can be explained, even if she were to try.  That carefree, innocent young girl in love is gone; she isn’t that sweet youth roaming the fields and meadows with her childhood best friend and sweetheart anymore.  She can never be that person again, and it feels to her that outwardly she shouldn’t pretend.  The difference needs to be clear, so that some other poor victim doesn’t get too close.

           Thank goodness for Granny – and even more for Snow!  Now that she knows Mary Margaret again for her long-lost friend, she is grateful for the other woman’s constancy and acceptance.  Snow did not abandon her on that horrible night Peter died, nor has she anytime since.  Snow had gotten her moving again, arm around her quaking shoulders in the darks woods so long ago, before the mob could catch her.  The two of them had found a cabin far out on its own, just as they had talked about, where both of them could hide away.  Sometimes, she still has to get away – to escape, to run – when she is afraid of herself and what she might do, as well as what she has already done. Those are the times when she heads for the woods on the edge of town, intending to shift and then run until she is so exhausted she couldn’t hurt the tiniest kitten.  Only then does she return, often to Mary Margaret’s apartment where she falls into an overstuffed chair next to her old friend, accepts the hot cocoa offered her, and marvels at the fact that Mary Margaret, her friend Snow White, doesn’t flinch at all despite what she knows, but instead picks bits of leaves and twigs out of her hair and listens to her countless fears and worries of what could happen if she ever slips again.  This comfort and companionship reminds her that they were happy once before as well, in their little cabin in the wild, until Charming, the Evil Queen, King George, and then the curse, brought the rest of the world right onto their doorstep.

           Ruby tries to push it all from her mind as she reaches her post behind the counter of the diner, ready for Leroy wanting his sausage and hash browns, Archie hoping for some French toast before he sees any patients for the day, and Emma coming in to pick up doughnuts for herself and David at the station.  Ruby squares her shoulders, ties on her miniscule apron, and aims to start fresh on this new day.  Granny passes by on her way to start a fresh pot of coffee brewing, and pats her kindly on the shoulder, as if knowing the thoughts that are circling in her granddaughter’s head.  The little smile the older woman graces her with seems to say, “Keep your chin up.”

           Also trying not to watch the clock creep from one endless minute to the next, Ruby refills several earlier guests’ mugs and glances out the window at the main street.  Just then, the glint of early morning sunlight on the metallic paint of an old pick-up truck which has just parked outside catches her eye.  Knowing pretty much every person in town – and what they drive – the unfamiliar vehicle arrests her attention.

           That intrigue only grows when a tall, dark-headed stranger wearing deep-tinted aviator sunglasses, a beat-up denim jacket, and work boots gets out and heads up the walk, through their door, and right to the counter where she stands waiting.  Ruby knows that she has never seen him before, but his mischievous, crooked smile envelopes her in his friendly mirth as if they are old friends.  Something familiar twinkles in his eyes and makes her stomach clench strangely, heart lurching into her throat as he takes off the shades and tucks the earpiece into his breast pocket.  It’s a feeling she has almost forgotten – that she has spent ages trying to forget – telling herself she will never be able to experience it again. And yet, she can’t help smiling back welcomingly, suddenly hoping that he won’t walk away.

           Granted, there aren’t usually newcomers to Storybrooke, but Emma came, and that has more than turned out alright.  Ruby finds that at this moment, she doesn’t even care where he is from, as long as he stays, talks to her, keeps smiling at her the way he is right now. “Welcome to Granny’s Diner,” she greets brightly.  “I’m Ruby. What can we get for you this morning?”

           “Pete,” he tells her, reaching out to shake hands and kindly pretending not to notice the sharp intake of breath she draws in surprise.  “I hear this is the place to eat, and it’s also where one figures out who’s who and what’s going on in this town.”  He winks at her slyly as he speaks, and Ruby’s poor dusty, disused heart flutters despite her.

           “You heard right,” she manages, flushing prettily as she nods to him, and batting her eyelashes without even realizing it.  She doesn’t want to go against her own rules which she has spent so long telling herself are for the best, but in the wake of this stranger’s charm and inexplicable familiarity, she’s helpless.  “This is the place.”

           “What do you recommend?” he tosses back playfully, and she blinks rapidly, stunned, as that stabbing pain in her heart, the one she has been shrinking from ever since that horrible night so long ago – the night the wolf emerged and Peter was lost – returns.

           “I’m sorry,” she mumbles, backing away from him, not meeting his eyes any longer and looking to the door into the back of the diner.  “I – I can’t…I’m sorry.”  Before he can protest or say anything more, she turns tail and flees for the kitchen.

           Slipping through the door and then leaning back against it to rest her beating heart, she tries to collect herself.  Her pulse is racing, and she forces herself to take several deep breaths. When she finally feels some semblance of calm, she turns to peek around the swinging door back out the way she has come.  Granny is helping the newcomer now, but he sees Ruby over Granny’s shoulder and holds her eyes.  There is something so playful in his gaze when he smirks at her, not letting her get away with hiding from him.  It is warm, comforting, and almost as though she remembers the touch of that gaze from long ago.  He smiles – a dare meant specifically for her.  If she didn’t know better, Ruby would think he knew everything: all her past, who she really is, and that none of it scared him at all.  It should make her want to run, but for some reason – it gives her hope.

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           The next night finds her running again, but it is different this time. The light autumn breeze envelopes her like cool silk, ghosting over her skin pleasantly.  Ruby smiles, feeling powerful and in control, and allowing herself to enjoy being one with the night.  She had learned to control the wolf once upon a time long ago; she knows now that she can allow it to have a part is who she is without letting it tearing her in two.  The curse and this strange new land made her doubt her ability to be both safely at first, but both sides of her do still exist, and she must somehow embrace them both.

           She careens through the trees and the open clearings, with neither fatigue nor pain to slow her down, and she doesn’t stop until reaching the stream by the Troll Bridge.  For the first time in what she knows has been an age, she allows herself to feel that she may not always be running alone in the night.  Tipping back her head, Ruby howls with joy instead of pain at that round, white orb in the sky.  Somewhere still under this moon, there may be another who can run beside her.  She may always be running, but she doesn’t have to be running away, running from… Maybe there will at last be something, or someone, she can run to.  

Tagging a few who might enjoy: @whimsicallyenchantedrose @kmomof4 @hollyethecurious @winterbaby89 @flslp87 @captain-swan-coffee @branlovesouat @ilovemesomekillianjones @spartanguard @drowned-dreamer @midnightswans @singingisfun @ps1473-4 @jackieorioncat @blackwidownat2814 @jennjenn615 @lessawildmoon