#she'll put it down soon but rN SHE'S LITERALLY THE

[thedollydiaries]

i read the family fic you wrote and OOHHHH MY GODDDD I LOVED IT i swear fluff family fics have my heart i love them too much!!!

and reading the author note i would love to see how bug chose their name! :3

ahhh i'm so glad you liked it !! like seriously, this ask has me giggling, twirling my hair, kicking my feet. i die for the smallest bit of praise so i'm truly so so happy you liked it. MWAH MWAH, platonic kisses on the forehead for you nonnie <3 (and anyone else who read and liked it, all of you get platonic kisses too)

now, as requested, a cute blurb of how bug chose their name (and came out to simon and reader)

simon "ghost" riley x child!OC (bug riley)

word count: 824

warnings: a teeny bit of angst (bug is an anxious baby), but mostly just sweet sweet cotton candy :3

a/n: bug is 13 in this fic, it is told from their perspective. their dead name is mentioned twice.

a/n 2.0: i wrote this really quickly so it might not be that great, i'm stoned as fuck and it's like 10 to 05:00 rn but i really wanted to get this idea out for you guys bc i love this lil oc sm🥺 created them literally a day ago and i would die for them already

--------

it'll be fine, it'll be fine. mum and dad are so accepting and loving, mum is always telling me she'll always love me no matter what. i siked myself up as i walk into the kitchen where i hear my mum and dad making dinner again.

i wanted to come out to them before dad left for work again, but every time i got up the nerves i backed out, not this time.

"uh, mum? dad?" i spoke up as i walked into the kitchen, catching the attention of my parents who gave me their signature loving smiles.

"hi my little bug, how was your day at school?" mum asked me, opening her arms for her a hug, which i happily gave her.

"hey ben, how was school bud?" dad asked, making my stomach churn a little at the sound of my birth name.

"it... it was good." i replied with a heavy sigh, mum's face immediately contorting into worry at the sound. "i actually wanted to talk to you two about something. can we sit down?"

"yes, of course." mum says as soon as the words are out of my mouth, she gently grabs my shoulders and walks to the dinner table with me, making sure dad was following behind.

as we sat at the table i felt a lump begin to form in the back of my throat and my heart begin to race. this was really happening. oh god this was really happening, i'm doing this.

"what is it benjamin? did something happen?" mum asks me with worry in her voice.

"if someone is hurting you just say the word bud, i'll deal with them." dad says gruffly, standing behind mum with a hand on her shoulder.

"no, no it's nothing like that," i begin, mouth running dry as i try to for words. i try to think of what to say, but the words wont come out right.

"i don't think i'm a boy!" i blurted before i could realize what i was saying. this was not the course of action i wanted to take.

"huh?" dad said with a raised brow. "what.. what does that even mean?"

"simon!"

"it's a legitimate question babe!"

"it's rude to ask it like that though!"

"guys! please! just," i sighed. "i don't... feel right as a boy. i'm nonbinary."

their silence makes my stomach drop, but my heart stops when dad just leaves the dining room to return to the kitchen without even looking at me. fuck, he hates me now.

"we'll be right back my baby, don't worry. stay there." mum says softly, putting a gentle hand on my head before she gets up to follow my father. leaving me to sit in silence. i just disappointed my fucking hero. my dad hated me now, i never should've said anything.

it's only five or so minutes before they both come back, dad seems... calm. i didn't expect that, in a way that scared me more.

"first off, we want to say that we love you so much baby. and we're so happy you felt comfortable enough to tell us this. we wont pretend we understand what that means but we are prepared to learn." mum says softly, taking my hands in hers and rubbing her thumbs over my knuckles as she speaks.

"wait... really?" i ask, feeling tears of relief welling in my eyes.

"of course, you're our son- our child, and we want you to be happy. we love you for you." dad said, putting a rough hand on my head.

that's all it took to break me, the waterworks flowing freely as i fall into my mother's arms. i feel her wrap them around me and she rubs my back, whispering sweet affirmations to me and kissing my head.

"this means you'll want to change your name, right? have you decided on one yet my little bug?" mum asked sweetly, causing a wide grin to spread across my face.

"yeah, i have. i picked it because it means a lot to me. you know, you've been calling me this my entire life when you realized how intrigued i was by bugs as a baby. so i went with bug. because mum always calls me her little bug." i explained to my parents, this time it was apparently my mother's turn to cry.

i watched as my mother began to sob in joy, pulling me to hold at arms length and look me in the face. "oh sweetheart, that's amazing. that makes me feel so special. i love you so much, bug."

my heart swells as mum calls me by my name, as she pulls me in for another hug i feel dad wrapping his arms around the two of us and giving my head another rough but loving pat.

"we both love you, bug."

"i love you both too."

what the hell did i ever have to be worried about?

[arewecoolio]

Hi!

The Angie brainrot is baaaack! (It never really went away)

I have a question about the time travel fic. If Reader hadn't travel before Barnabas but post Barnabas, like Angelique full on rage and heartbreak what could have happened? Specially if she found out Reader was a collins?

Hope you have a lovely day! And thanks!

OHHHH now that's something I hadn't considered. I think it would've gone down far differently for the entire timeline tbh. Like as soon as Barnabas is in the ground we see Angelique in the same generation starts up Angel Bay so this is her at full revenge and at full power grab.

I think it would've been messier in a way. One because Y/N would basically be entering into Angelique's "my boyfriend is six feet under rn but I'll dig him up later 🥰🔪" era and in walks her wife like "hey funny story, I kind of need you to send me back to the future." But also because it'd be a bit more difficult to get close to Angelique when she's making all these literal business moves and such? Even when Angelique realizes what her relationship is to Y/N I see her being hot and cold with it, she'll take it as the confidence boost it is and simultaneously hate herself for being like Barnabas in that way.

All in all it would still go down mostly the same route of romance and Y/N eventually telling Angelique she's a Collins. Would it be a death sentence? In a way yeah, Angelique would realize that the curse she's put in place is going to fuck over her wife in so many ways she can't anticipate.

The best part--or the most dramatic part is that Angelique wouldn't and couldn't be certain that her future self isn't married to Y/N out of some long master plot to get back with or at Barnabas. It's what she'd tell herself anyway, but there'd be no end to convincing Y/N to stay. Since she's so busy with founding Angel Bay and settling them somewhere comfortable it's easier and easier to put Y/N's return home off. And since this is Angelique at her lowest and most vengeful I don't think it would take much for Angelique to add another curse to the mix.

[jinxthequeergirl]

Softie

Quentin smith x Goth! Reader

Requested by anons and @aristocracy-y :

⭐quentin and the abrasive goth girl from school end up as lab partners and he comes over to study and he discovers she’s actually soft and sensitive?? pls i crave quentin content (if u don’t wanna write this just anything for quentin is fine

⭐My love for Quentin knows no bounds, and a soft, slow make out is literally all I can think of rn

⭐OML you write for my baby! Could you maybe write some Quentin nsfw, if you don’t write that then something soft and fluffy

Warning: swearing, sorry I don't write nsfw but its super fluffy so that makes up for it ig, also i think its safe to say this is quite sometime before fredrick fucked him up.

And sorry for taking so long im trying to get back to actually posting things so please enjoy!!! Sorry that its just sort and sweet.

~~~~~~~

"Sick drawing." Quentin looked up at the you who was standing next to him putting your bag down and taking the seat next to him.

"Oh uh thanks." He said offering a smile.

"I'm y/n, Your new lab partner." Quentin took you all in as you shook his hand. He'd heard about you, seen you in the hall. Nothing about your goth aesthetic exactly sreamed friendly. Kris and jesse would say things about you. "Careful she'll hex you!"

"Wow who's funeral are you going to? Oh sorry that's just how you dress."

You spent class paying attention to the work taking notes and before he knew it class was over. "Uh..so when..or really were do you wanna study so we can do the lab right tomorrow?"

"Uhh my dad's got a teacher meeting thing tonight...I don't have to be home for a few hours.." She nodded as she put her things in her bag. "Yea alright..my house then...I'll meet you after school at the end of the front steps?"

"Yea..sure thing."

At the end of the day you met him exactly where you had said to, but he was accompanied by his friends. "Watch out quentin she might hex you!" He he elbowed jessy as he walked away from them to meet you.

"Sorry about th-"

"Let's go." You bit out grabbing your bag and started walking he quickly followed.

"They're jerks." He said as you continued to lead the way through your neighbor breaking the silents. "They're your friends?" You said.

"Doesn't change the fact that they're absolute dick holes sometimes." You glanced back at him with a smile, before walking up a drive way.

"Penny! Cherry!" You yelled as you opened the door. You where both greeted with the sound of barking and quick feet running down the hall. "Y/n!" Your face lit up as you got to your knees and greeted the girl and dog as they ran into your open arms.

"Hey kiddo!" The dog salked up and licked your face causing you to laugh. "Uh Cherry this is Quentin...he's gonna help me study for biology, Quentin this is my sister Cherry and our dog Penny."

He offered a small wave. "Hi! Are you y/ns friend? She doesn't bring a lot of those home." Cherry asked Quentin as he fllowed the two girls deeper into the house, He only laughed nervousely and you hit her shoulder. "Shut up dork!"

Sbe laughed. "Go do your homework!"

She burried down the hall to her room. "Oh! Dad said he'll be home by eight thirty! Maybe nine!" You rolled your eyes and lead him to the kitchen. "Thanks!" You then turned to him. "Sorry I should've mentioned something about the two of them..." He shrugged and pet penny while taking a seat at the counter.

"I don't mind, She seems like a good kid." You smiled. "She is...do you want something? We've got chinese leftovers?" He laughed. "Sounds good."

The rest of the night was spent within your bedroom attempting to study only to find neither of you took good enough notes to answer the study questions.

"Well I can just look it up in study hall...you can hang out here for a while if you want..." You offered him noticing he'd gotten up from the desk chair to look at the bulleten board filled with pictures that hung on the wall by the door.

"Is that your mom?" He asked pointing to a family photo. "Uhh yea...Penny l/n...she died a few years after cherry was born...we got penny and named her after her..."

"I get that...the whole mom being dead thing." He admitted still staring at the photos, He finally turned to you. "You knkw I meant what I said about my friends-"

You waved him off. "No need to say sorry I'm used to it."

"So then why do you-"

"I like how it looks....It's the only thing I felt comfortable in was clothes like this...kt's not actually true to who I am." You explained quickly. He moved to sit next to you on the bed. "Then who are you?"

"Who do you think I am?" You challenge.

"Well...from what I've seen here tonight. I'd say you're a softie... You like being around people, like making friends, your sentimental, a family per-" you held a hand up to his mouth.

"Got it, you've spent to much time with me today." You said with a laugh moving your hand.

It was quiet for a second. "You know I know somethings about you too." You said.

"Like?"

"Your the reserved one in your friend group, but also out spoken when you get the chance...sweet...kind." You said looking at him. He looked you up and down and leaned forward.

"And you're thinking about kissing me.." You teased before moving closer to him yourself and kissing him.

His hands mobed to your waist as yours cupped his cheeks and climbed into his lap. "You're absolutely right on the last one." He said as you pulled away briefly, you laughed lightly and slid your sweater off and kissed him again.

He wrapped his arms around you and leaned you back on the bed deepening the kiss.

"Y/n! Cherry! Penny!" You quickly pulled away again upon hearing your fathers voice from the front door.

You both let out a slight disapointed sigh but laughed. "Maybe some other time." You winked before kissing him quickly and pulling your sweater back on.

"Hey dad!" You said coming down the hall and hugging him as he let go of cherry. "Hey!..oh I didn't know you had comapny I would've bought more food."

"No, sir I was leaving..my dad will be home soon anyways." Quentin said reassuringly. "Dad this is my friend, Quentin." You introduced the two of them. "Well nice to meet you Quentin, you're welcime baxk here anytime kiddo! Y/n doesn't get a lot of friends around here." He said jokingly, you hit his arm as you walked quentin out the door.

"Goodnight, thanks for having me over." He said.

"Anytime." You smiled and kissed him once more before going back inside.

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: [So, the night before this friendmas, which is probably the next day from the nativity moment, like this is the first day of the holiday vibe] Janis: We're still on for their friendmas bullshit? Jimmy: can't 😭 off Janis: It's still worth it Janis: for the amount of damage that can be done in one sitting Jimmy: it were my 🥇💡 don't need telling Janis: Checking you were still up for it Janis: and we have to make the food to bring Jimmy: 👍 Janis: Helpful as that is, what do you want to make and where do you want to make it? Jimmy: Where are you? Janis: my grandparents Jimmy: nearer yours or mine? Janis: yours Janis: mine is near nothing Jimmy: come here then Janis: alright Janis: just trying to think of ways to sneak calories into shit without pouring butter onto a salad Jimmy: look up thanksgiving recipes, they're known for that bollocks Janis: okay Janis: and you'll be...? Jimmy: cleaning my kitchen, that alright with you? Janis: Fine Jimmy: 👌 Janis: My sister thinks Mia might invite her boyfriend Jimmy: 💰 on him not showing up Janis: What I said Janis: in case he does though Janis: she was useless with any other info Jimmy: 💔 her and this group chat Jimmy: not actually that bothered what Asia might wear Janis: 🙄 Janis: how much freedom is there with a fucking jumper Janis: she said they don't eat fuck all sustaining but no shit there, hence the plan Jimmy: [sends her a pic I saw of a real jumper that has the tit cut out and like a red reindeer nose over the person's nip or something I can't remember] Janis: Oh Janis: 🤢🤢🤢 Janis: distract from the teeth but nah Jimmy: Dunno who's got her for the 🎁 giving but 🤞 for invisalign Janis: budget kit that ain't dentist-approved I saw on insta Janis: 🤞 it'll fuck her up harder Jimmy: all teeth to no teeth Janis: fit in with 💀👑 and 💀#2 Jimmy: mash 🥔 or 🍠 it is Janis: 🍠 is too vom-inducing as is Janis: hide 💊s in it like 👶🐶 Jimmy: is that marshmallow thing bollocks or what? Janis: nah, that's legit Janis: we could do that Janis: cultural Jimmy: 🤢 Janis: you can cover everyone's plates in gravy Janis: not a euphemism Janis: #northern Jimmy: I'd have a job if you were expecting the euphemism Janis: you're alright Janis: amusing, but suspicious when I'm not touching my plate Jimmy: very trusting of you to crack on with any of it as is Janis: I doubt they're wasting laxatives on me Janis: skinny enough Janis: it'll just be gross Jimmy: weren't where my 🧠 went but alright Janis: ? Janis: oh, very Agatha Christie Janis: not gonna kill themselves to kill me, I'll watch the plates and serving up Jimmy: nowt rich lasses won't monogram, theirs'll be safe and sound Janis: what about yours? Janis: you might get roofied Jimmy: take my chances downing the gravy, too northern for owt else, you said it Janis: that'll be nice Jimmy: 😍 obvs Janis: I meant for me when I inevitably have to 💋 you Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: it's at #2s Janis: odds on a 👑 shrine somewhere? Jimmy: near her 🛏 Janis: under it when she's about Janis: in it when she ain't 💔 Jimmy: we don't have to sleep there in a bit, do we? Janis: oh bollocks Janis: I'm sure we can get out of it, as we technically were not invited Janis: pretty sure they do a sleepover too though Janis: any excuse Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: I know Jimmy: I'm going down the shop, what bollocks do we need? Janis: [a list I'm not committing you to but we know the vibe] Janis: I've already got [shit we're stealing soz mcvickers] Jimmy: alright Jimmy: if you get here before I'm back, my sister'll let you in Janis: did she come to the nativity with yous? Jimmy: dragged kicking and marding, weren't that what I said? Janis: right Janis: apologies for doubting you Jimmy: tah Janis: what about the kid? Jimmy: what about him? Janis: where'd he end up on the scale Jimmy: we don't have a scale for him Janis: 😭 to 😁 Jimmy: near ☹️ Janis: no tears, at least Jimmy: can sign what we like without being those dickheads shouting out 🦻 perks Janis: that is useful Jimmy: and the 🐕's got somewhere new to sleep an' all Jimmy: 🏆 Janis: totally worth the money we didn't spend then Janis: can have these jumpers too after Jimmy: ain't yours itchy? Janis: feels like I'm wearing a barbershop floor Janis: but I didn't reckon your dog would be that fussy Jimmy: meant to be your specialist subject Janis: like ☕ is yours? Janis: not my passion, it's easy money Jimmy: there ain't much to know about ☕ don't need passion Janis: 🤫 Janis: you 💘 every bean Jimmy: it's only 💕 for your sister and her mates Janis: anything but getting a personality Janis: I know Jimmy: gotta put something in their bio Janis: 'IM AN EMPTY VESSEL' comes off desperate, even on tinder Jimmy: as 🤰 pact's go Janis: don't even Jimmy: very festive Janis: messiahs aren't being popped out 5 at a time Jimmy: they'd never be satisfied with 3 🎁s any road Jimmy: full baby shower or nowt Janis: yeah Janis: no doubt Grace will be torturing me with as much any time soon Jimmy: 🍾🍾🍾 Janis: 🔨🔨🔨 Jimmy: 👶👶👶👶👶 Janis: have to smash the poor bastards and all Janis: not worth thinking about Jimmy: ⚰️⚰️⚰️⚰️⚰️ Janis: yeah funerals are much better craic Janis: have as many of them as she likes Jimmy: matching the shades of black'll do her head in Janis: 🤞 Janis: the breakdown will give her a personality Janis: got there in the end, babes Jimmy: @ me Jimmy: be on the edge of my seat waiting to find out Janis: if your details don't get lost when you change back to your real identity Jimmy: 💔 I can't be @ing you on the off chance, be coming off as desperate an' all, me Janis: doubt she'll be so bombastic herself she'll turn down a DM request Janis: have a go, like Janis: dare to 💭 Jimmy: just pop in using my 👻 form, can't I? Jimmy: keep it between us Janis: my lips are sealed Janis: how you use your afterlife is your business Jimmy: got nowt else on Janis: optimistic Janis: you might be moving to 🥳 central Jimmy: Go on, where's that? Janis: Ian in the know, not me Jimmy: dare to 💭 Janet Janis: I don't care where I end up Janis: just not here is fine Jimmy: weren't talking about you, big head Janis: Not too fussed where you end up either Janis: not gonna lie Jimmy: What did you bring it up for then? Janis: You're moving Janis: you said Jimmy: and? Jimmy: 🥳 central were what you said, not me Janis: I don't know what you're getting at Jimmy: if you're not bothered, what are you getting at? Jimmy: no need to 🗨 bollocks were something else you said Janis: I was just messing about, both statements Janis: I didn't know everything I 🗨 had to be deadly serious Jimmy: I didn't know there were 1 rule for you and another for me Janis: it's a bit different from you calling me a slag but fine Janis: you've made your point Jimmy: nah, the point were that I were never calling you a slag Janis: you were joking, okay Jimmy: but go on and take it to your ⚰ Janis: I'm trying to have a normal conversation with you right now and you're the one being moody Jimmy: you're the one who said we don't need to have a conversation Janis: well we clearly do when we have shit to do Jimmy: we've sorted the 🍽 Janis: right, so tell me to piss off then Jimmy: and have to piss about cooking on my own? You're alright Jimmy: nowt like the threat of a good time, that Janis: then what Jimmy: then come here Janis: [do that] Jimmy: [this won't be awkward at all] Janis: [the tension and the kids are home so that'll not be remotely getting dealt with] Jimmy: [cos I'm evil like that hahaha, we're gonna both be so extra at friendmas, love it] Janis: [it also makes sense like if school is out now where you gonna be hens, truly idk what you're gonna say though girl] Jimmy: [like you could've hooked up on the trampoline but you would probably freeze to death and also Twix wouldn't allow it soz lads] Janis: [not on my watch Twix says, at least you can focus on making this side dish the weirdest most calorific moment] Jimmy: [having fun in spite of yourselves as per] Janis: [I want you to apologize but also not but that is difficile hmm, probably later if you get vaguely tipsy at this event] Jimmy: [and get swept away by the emoshness of fake gifting] Janis: [we know there will be plenty of time for moments abound then] Jimmy: [you'll be bored rigid otherwise] Janis: [mhmm and this is far from over hunnies] Jimmy: [whatever you do don't let Twix eat that while you're shamelessly distracted acting like it's all nbd] Janis: [or the kids lmao lowkey gotta hide this monstrosity when you're done] Jimmy: [hide it when you go 🚬 boy because we're stressed by the fact that whenever we try to have fun rn we then remember she said it was a mistake] Janis: [oh this misunderstanding, 'cos we only said it 'cos we thought that's what he was saying basically, lordy, also hate being left in his house like excuse me do I go now or] Jimmy: [what a time to wish you weren't alive] Janis: [coming out 'cos fuck just waiting or leaving, 'is there anything else we need to do?'] Jimmy: [automatically passes her a  🚬 because that bitch] Janis: [takes it like true, can't hurt] Jimmy: ['what time's the last bus?' cos he's assuming she's going home and that she's probably missed it] Janis: [shakes head 'I'll stay at my grandparents, no need to go home now'] Jimmy: [a look around like alright where's that because the ankle is still a thing and we're still worried about it] Janis: [a genuine oh-you kinda smile 'cos honestly 'literally a couple of streets from here, actually] Jimmy: [nods like okay, we'll go when you're ready cos obvs he's walking her whether she likes it or not] Janis: ['don't need an early night for friendmas, do we' like excuse you, I might have plans] Jimmy: [shrugs 'bit of a ball ache to get the chains of the bed and bring 'em with'] Janis: [😏'you could have a night off'] Jimmy: [makes a point of putting her leg on him to rest and elevate that ankle like no I cannot] Janis: [just looks at it and sighs 'I can't not walk, there's shit to do'] Jimmy: [just looks at her and you know they haven't made eye contact this whole time SO THERE'S THAT 'I know it hurts' in a soft way] Janis: [we gotta look away 'cos byeeeeee, shrugging and mumbling like 'it was just a stupid accident, I'm fine'] Jimmy: [nudging her, not hard obvs like 1. look at me and 2. don't be shrugging at me rn and shaking his head 'a stupid accident that were my fault' like LET ME HELP YOU!!] Janis: [shaking her head for all the reasons and then blurting out 'I'm embarrassed!' then being even more so like ffs] Jimmy: [cupping her little face in his hands the gentlest EVER 'what for?' because she literally has nothing to be embarrassed about] Janis: [looking at him like where do I start lol 'cos this has been so fast and so messy, not to mention the fact you now wanna kiss him and that's one of the things you think you need to be embarrassed over 'I don't need help, that's not- I'm not used to that'] Jimmy: ['it's alright' spoken like it'll be true if he just says it soft and with enough feeling, but then obvs we gotta recover ourselves a bit because vulnerability who is she 'I only were offering to take all them dogs out for a piss for you, not a kidney' but we're still not giving it full pisstake in how we're saying that or being] Janis: [pushing him but gently too, because likewise trying to get back to this more pisstakey energy without going too hard too fast 'not my fault you're like top nurse without even trying then' 'cos you're doing and have done way more than that, we know boy] Jimmy: [lowkey 😳 but we're hiding it with 😏 and the wintery darkness as we nudge her back but turn it into a feelsy lean for a while then giving her his phone like put that dog walking schedule in there girl I mean it] Janis: ['I ain't gonna be able to take your CG shifts, like' and mimes murdering all the customers in various ways but we do lean back too, even if momentarily 'you could meet me for the ones you can and do the hard work, and I'll sit on the bench, yeah?' and puts hand out like deal?] Jimmy: [does a 💔 mime because we would love to see that murder spree but obvs shaking on that legit suggestion with a legit little smile cos we're chuffed she's actually accepting a hand in any way] Janis: ['I can do more hard work with the plan' like all the socials whilst I sit there honey and mimes taking creep shots of him] Jimmy: [OTT 😍 to hide the realness, then he remembers that speaking of, he obvs won't have done a doodle for her today so gesture for her to stay put while we run and get a pen and paper right now immediately but as we're going we turn back like oh! again 'do you want the bag  peas chucked back for a bit?'] Janis: [going to shake our head automatically but then checking ourself like oop 'might freeze to my skin out here, like' shrugs 'but go ahead'] Jimmy: [does bring a blanket with all the other shit because we just wanna be out here away from kids and dogs soz] Janis: [day #1 of this hol and we're done lmao, little kids do be feral when it's this close to xmas, even good ones like bobby] Jimmy: [yeah and don't even start me on how all the pressure for having a good christmas is on him because Ian isn't that bitch and Cass is highkey hoping their mum will appear even though they've moved and that ain't happening babe soz] Janis: [mHMM thank god Ian is a buy your love type so he will get them presents, it's just the rest] Jimmy: [what are you doodling today boy, obvs some kind of domestic af cooking moment but no #spoilers gals] Janis: [just get snuggled in these blankets and make sure he is too] Jimmy: [can't and won't stop the happy sigh because we've been so stressed] Janis: [some joke about art being his 💘 but we're glad obvs] Jimmy: [🙄 but 😏] Janis: [tryna peep at what he is drawing though, obvs x2] Jimmy: [will playfully get you with this pen like oi] Janis: [offended like where's my pen 'play fair' accidentally saucy] Jimmy: [we know he'll give you that pen and just write on you/tickle you in his fave manner, drawing a 🏆 like we're playing to win not fairly hen] Janis: [just loling like get off 'cos ticklish af 'we're meant to be a team, dickhead' and draws her own 🏆 with 'worst sport' in the plaque thing] Jimmy: [draws the JJ 💘 really big and deliberate to really tickle and also make a point like okay] Janis: [a question mark when we've stopped squirming like do you really get it though, also a throwback] Jimmy: [a LOOK like do you] Janis: [just nods and gives the pen back like okay, finish your drawing] Jimmy: [does and again signs it like a big nerd before giving it to her] Janis: [we love it hun but we never know what to say 'tah for not giving away the poison plot in your art like an idiot' and putting it away to photo later in an indoor light moment] Jimmy: [a noise like not an amateur tah and going to make tea because 1.northern 2. it's cold 3. he doesn't know what to say/is awks about his art too] Janis: you're in the wrong profession Jimmy: ? Janis: 1. artiste 2. only old ladies order pots of tea, yeah? Jimmy: 1. why be starving when there's loads of 🍪🥐🥪🍰 going at the job I've got 2. bit sexist to the 👴 Janis: 1. 🐷 2. tell me they ain't always with their 👵 Jimmy: 1. Only 💕🐕's you, I get it 💔🦝🗑 2. sounds fake, so obvs I'll 🗨 it to you, mate Janis: 🙄🙄 Jimmy: miss you an' all Janis: You could see me from there if you really wanted Jimmy: [peeps from the kitchen window like hey] Janis: [waving like oh hey you fool] Jimmy: [signs something feelsy because she won't understand it we're safe] Janis: [big ? in the air} Jimmy: [just loling like nope as we mime confusion like idk what you mean or want rn soz because we're taking that to our grave] Janis: [shouting 'bring me my fucking tea' manners and decorum] Jimmy: [does and a box of some kind of festive biscuit selection that the children have already got at so there's only shit ones left lowkey but still] Janis: ['you know how to treat a girl' when we're saying it like we're joking but not really lmao] Jimmy: [shove a biscuit in your mouth boy so you don't say anything you wish you hadn't and also because we're making a bants point like yeah so romantic me] Janis: [wipe the crumbs from his bottom lip like he did 'oi, I've had an idea' softer than that oi suggests, we're not shouting now lol] Jimmy: [shamelessly looking at her lips once she's touched his like is that your idea, focus please sir 'go on'] Janis: [failing to pretend we didn't notice that but still carry on tah 'well #2 and every fucker on her street is gonna have excessive lights and decorations about, what do you reckon to shrinking their energy bill? if we go out when they're asleep, they'll not notice, and we could get back here and do your house before your brother and sister wake up' like how magical even you will love it don't lie cass] Jimmy: [when you can't help genuinely grinning because that's such a good idea we're falling in love rn okay like he's gonna have felt so bad about not having the time, money or energy to decorate, gotta recover ourselves again quick so does an IRL 🤞 'all her pink glittery baubles'll really get Ian in the christmas spirit' but really we're not thinking about him and it'll look epic Janis: [grin back 'cos it's infectious ''cos no way am I sleeping in a room with that lot in' and shrug like, we may as well, as if you remotely had to suggest anything of the sort] Jimmy: ['give us nightmares if all them calories don't' never miss a opportunity to shade the flatwhites honey] Janis: ['I can protect you from them, but not the calories, I'm so sorry' 😏] Jimmy: [eats another biscuit like I reckon I'll live] Janis: [an impression of a Mia shade face like you fat bitch] Jimmy: [an impression of Ella being 😭💔 DEVASTATED] Janis: [snatching the tin like no more for you, and getting one all smug like delicious] Jimmy: [OTT Jimothy pout because always] Janis: [flippant 'deal with it, babes' 'cos mustn't linger LOOKING at him again] Jimmy: [cringing in a way that is OTT but not that fake because she's too good at these impressions and chucking the blanket over her head like begone] Janis: [had enough years of this hoe being present to be an expert, just pulling the blanket down and around our shoulders like ha ha more for me, but gesturing that he should move closer and get under to keep warm too] Jimmy: [does because any excuse to snuggle and likewise play with her hair like it's so in my way rn lemme just] Janis: [hence I got you the present I did honey heheheh, know we're likewise here for this] Jimmy: [just having a moment ™] Janis: [one of the kids should need you or Twix should start wildin' soz boys] Jimmy: [yeah realistically it could be time for Bobby to go to bed depending what time she came over/he could have woken up] Janis: [either way honey, you better skeddale so he can sort this] Jimmy: [we know you're both fuming but especially him because he was gonna carry you to mcvickers gaff] Janis: [soz boy, you can be the most tomorrow though] Jimmy: [we both know he will LOL] Jimmy: [also gonna say he opens up at the CG because putting in a quick shift and doing any dog walking he can for the bae all before this friendmas has even started is just the difference between him and the gals, with the exception of Grace] Janis: [wig tea sis] Jimmy: [tired before you even get there] Janis: [we are that sick of y'all so it's a mood, frankly, but for now] Janis: night Jimmy: Oi Jimmy: you better be hopping back, dickhead Janis: [video of her hopping like don't fall] Jimmy: 🥇🏆💪 you Jimmy: 🦩 goals if nowt else Janis: 🤔 not not a compliment Janis: I'll take it Jimmy: the first bit were Janis: True Janis: pretend I didn't see the rest Jimmy: 🙈🙈🙈 Janis: I've learnt my lesson with blindfolds, tah Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: and here's me with no chance to find out if sir's gonna be more receptive to my kinks Janis: find out if he's alright with broken bones Janis: gonna say unlikely, he flipped his shit over some cut ties Jimmy: @ something about virgin school girls Janis: mhmm Janis: he'd much rather injure you than the other way 'round Janis: it's alright, maybe tomorrow Janis: don't need to be blinded by the decor tbh Jimmy: should've got you a onesie to zip over your head, up for that challenge, massive though it is Janis: oh yeah, the gimp range Janis: 🙄 Janis: you have to pretend to be pleased to see my beautiful face, remember Jimmy: tah for the reminder, would've forgot and done full Home Alone 😱 Janis: yeah, you're about as annoying as that little fucker Janis: tracks Jimmy: rude Jimmy: you'd be chuffed if I had his house Janis: what for? Janis: so I could get you tenants and take the cash? Jimmy: 'cause what's fake mine is fake yours Jimmy: and you must have a bigger 🧠 in that MASSIVE head than the robbers he had to see off Janis: if I was worried about that, I'd let Mia make the moves she wants to Jimmy: so ominous, that Janis: 💋 not 💀 Jimmy: I'd rather 💀💀💀 Jimmy: but you crack on Janis: that's why I said IF I gave a fuck Jimmy: if as massive as her 😍 for her daddy, I get it Janis: thank god it's at Ella's Janis: wouldn't be getting away from hers unmolested Jimmy: can't move for mistletoe, I bet Janis: Baby, it's cold outside Janis: 😈 Jimmy: What IS in that drink? 😏 Janis: me checking yours tomorrow so they don't do my job for me Jimmy: Bill's 👻'll only let us have owt off each other's lips, it'll take fucking ages to 💀💀💀 Janis: you're just an actor on his stage and a player in his 🌍 Janis: have to suck it up and deal with the torture Jimmy: 👍 Janis: No enthusiasm needed 'til tomorrow Janis: 👋 then Jimmy: don't need an early night, you said Janis: your brother seemed like he did though Janis: not trying to get in the way of that top brother 🏆 Jimmy: 🍪 sugar crash did him before us Janis: fair Janis: feeling it and all Janis: still buzzing though Jimmy: yeah? Janis: 😵 🥴 🤢 🤮 scale Janis: I'm solidly 🥴 Jimmy: lightweight Janis: I don't work in a cafe Jimmy: and what? Janis: 🍪🥐🥪🍰 Jimmy: never pull your weight, you Janis: just 'cos you eat yours in baked goods Janis: one of us has to be 💪 Jimmy: hang on, who's been carrying who? Janis: I would carry you Janis: you monopolized it by crippling me Jimmy: convenient excuse that Janis: okay, you aren't 💀👑 daddy don't try it Jimmy: 🎻💔😭 Jimmy: rudest bollocks you've ever said to me Jimmy: how dare you TBH Janis: come back when you've got your law degree and fathered a demon Janis: then we'll talk Jimmy: I'll chuck 'em both at your window, Juliet 📜👶 Janis: 😍 Janis: just don't break it Janis: my window, that is Jimmy: any 👶 of mine's gonna be a right fat bastard, nowt I can do about that, soz Janis: soft landing Janis: all's well that ends well Jimmy: do what you like with the broken glass, so crafty, you Janis: depends if you're gonna come in Janis: obviously Jimmy: it's how it's written Janis: ? Jimmy: I get your attention, you give me it Jimmy: hang your head out or Bill will be fuming Janis: unfortunately there ain't no pool under my window Janis: but that's probably not an original feature of the play Janis: just an excuse to see Leo all bedraggled Jimmy: get him wet to do the same for all the lasses 👀🍿 Janis: poetic Jimmy: IKR Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt baby Janis: Shame it's not festive or I'd suggest it Jimmy: fucking hell, if they're gonna force us to watch Elf, sod the plan, I'll 💀💀💀 myself Jimmy: another poem for you Janis: 1. hot 2. I refuse, think it's gotta be illegal to force us to watch it, it's in the geneva convention, yeah? I'll ask daddy Jimmy: @ him Janis: @litigationandtitilation Jimmy: 😂 Janis: she helped him come up with it Jimmy: DUH, nowt they don't do together Janis: 💕 Janis: dead jealous Jimmy: me an' all Janis: we'll all get to bond over our daddy issues Janis: can't wait Jimmy: #realgoals Janis: obviously Janis: I ain't got them any gifts, have you? Jimmy: I'm working, I'll bring 'em a latte Jimmy: menu full of 🎄 bollocks they ain't bothered to work through yet Janis: how disappointing they'll literally be thrilled Janis: too 😍 to handle, you Jimmy: you gonna meet me there or what? Janis: 🤔 Janis: probably the most #goals if we arrive together Janis: and fuck knows how far they can see from her tower Janis: I could come to your work Janis: pick you and the lattes up 💪🏆 Jimmy: alright Janis: 👌 Janis: just lemme know when you're finishing up then Jimmy: I'll make you something that ain't poisoned Janis: that a threat? Jimmy: more #goals to call it a romantic gesture Janis: 'course Jimmy: get your head in the game, girl Janis: it is Janis: just working out if there's any ways we can fuck it up before even arriving Jimmy: what, like get 💀👑 hopes up and then piss on them even harder? Janis: yeah, like that Janis: or get all the rest on our side, somehow Janis: that'd fuck her off no end Jimmy: so go on, what would it take? Jimmy: other than 💀#2 there's no challenge in it Jimmy: piss easy it were to get Asia to invite us Janis: you're probably more of an expert than me then Janis: like, we've got to make it actually a decent time, the kinda party they wanna have Janis: instead of what 📸s well Janis: and what Mia allows Janis: but we can't just fully steamroll in and be blatant about it Janis: or 💀👑 & 💀#2 would pull ranks Jimmy: what kind of party do they wanna have? Janis: they never look like they're having fun Janis: they're dead in the eyes Janis: even if it ain't my exact idea of, sure we can come up with better, right? Jimmy: easy when we put our massive heads together Janis: Asia is the easiest, we could basically ask her and she'd tell us without clocking Jimmy: hang on then Jimmy: Grace were #livingherbestlife when she punched you with a beauty blender, I'll let her 💄💅 me if it pushes 💀👑 off the scale Janis: I'm sure that's just pent-up anger issues Janis: but maybe you've messed up her order one too many times 🔪🔪 Jimmy: deliberately Jimmy: my only joy, that Janis: 😂 Janis: might have a tiny bit of respect for you now Jimmy: 🤏 Janis: pretend to be her boyfriend for a change and you can do one of those tag videos Jimmy: you're alright, my CV'll survive without that oscar Janis: 😏 Janis: fair Janis: don't need the rumours Jimmy: if she wants footage, WE'LL get her some, as a team, dickhead Janis: she will be 📽 Janis: so alright Jimmy: always ready for a close up, me Jimmy: and you do alright keeping up an' all Janis: wait 'til I ain't hopping, like Jimmy: that's her, what does the big one want? Janis: you haven't 👀 her about doing this weird dances? Jimmy: steady on, she WEREN'T having seizures? Janis: yeah, I know Janis: it's shocking Jimmy: you'll fuck your other ankle, I ain't having that Janis: you volunteer then? Jimmy: there's gotta be something else they do on that app Janis: are you interested in miming the lyrics to a shitty dance song? Jimmy: POV: your 👻 fake boyfriend Janis: you can go for that oscar Janis: I hope she doesn't try to be funny, or if she does, then I need to watch all her content rn Janis: welcome for the view Jimmy: might win 💀👑 over with the one where I play her dad Janis: 💀💀💀💀💀 Jimmy: or better yet 💀#2 when I have a go at 💀👑 Janis: the plan isn't you seduce everyone Janis: friends not 💦💦 boy Jimmy: it's a fucked plan then Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Janis: you're that insatiable or irresistible? Jimmy: I'll be that itchy Jimmy: jumper's coming off any road Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: *😍 Janis: I'll bring it tomorrow, babe Jimmy: UGH FINE Janis: put your tits away Janis: honestly Jimmy: SO jealous, you Janis: Ha Janis: SO original, you Jimmy: your tits can have 🥈 Joanne, nowt wrong with them or that Janis: Piss off Janis: 💀👑 tell you it don't count if it's just fat Jimmy: 😱😱😱 OMFG! 😱😱😱 Jimmy: should've said you wanted to get her hopes up with a fake breakup Janis: would be well triggering, no doubt Janis: only talk to argue, her lot, you can tell Jimmy: #relatable Jimmy: gonna have to 💀💀💀 myself now Jimmy: been nice fake knowing you, my dear Janis: oh no you don't Janis: not being a fake widow Janis: can't pretend to be that 💔💔💔 for the rest of my life Jimmy: @iantaylor8 with your 💔😭🎻 Jimmy: can't have owt in common with that lot for a day in my life, tah Janis: I'll feel sorry for you when you're fucking twins with one of them Jimmy: So you want my pity? Don't sound like you but alright Janis: nah, just won't be giving you no 🤗 and 😘 Jimmy: What then? What's my 🎁? Janis: 🕞👀 Jimmy: Come on, I'll fake the surprise Janis: don't get too excited Janis: I haven't nicked you no 💎 Jimmy: bit rude but that's probably my fault for not sitting on your lap and telling you what I want Janis: not too late Janis: see what her ma has lying about Janis: but yeah, if you'd have been more prepared, maybe I woulda been too Jimmy: just the odd 💍👑💼💰 or 🐴 nbd Janis: you're demanding now but you've missed your chance Janis: gutted Jimmy: not too late, you said Janis: you might get A 💎 Janis: can't do the full list now Jimmy: [pouty face 🥺 selfie, we're coming for your life Savannah, soz] Janis: what's in it for me if you ain't gonna sit on my lap? 🎅 Jimmy: never said I wouldn't Janis: 🔊 is cheap Janis: 🐴 are expensive Jimmy: what were it you said, tomorrow, babe Jimmy: giving someone a bell to install a pool or a balcony as I 🗨'd expensive an' all Janis: I've got patience to 🕞👀 Jimmy: good Jimmy: we're just that starcrossed, girl, nowt to be done about it Janis: or lots to do Janis: depending on your point of view Jimmy: lots of 🕞👀 'cause that's your #kink Janis: must be Jimmy: and mine's doing owt for you 💕 Janis: what more could I ask for Janis: ❌🎅 Jimmy: what more do you want? Janis: 🤔 Jimmy: ? Janis: ? Jimmy: ⏲ Janis: You can surprise me Jimmy: alright Janis: is it? Jimmy: isn't it? Janis: alright, alright Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: it'll be good Janis: tomorrow Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: [picture to prove you are at mcvickers] Jimmy: [a picture back of Bobby and Twix snoozing all over you] Janis: looks cozy Jimmy: *uncomfortable Jimmy: speaking of, I'll bring you the 👑 back tomorrow, you can chuck it on instead of a cracker hat Janis: Bless Janis: 🤞 there's no one sleeping in my bed Janis: 💡💡 Jimmy: 🐻🐻🐻 Janis: sounds like a party in theory Jimmy: 🔑's [wherever there is a key hidden] if you need to come back Janis: be even weirder for your poor brother if I got in his whilst you're all 🥳 Jimmy: not like he'll hear you come in Jimmy: you or the 🐻🐻🐻 Janis: don't tell him that as his next bedtime story Janis: should be good though, but cheers Jimmy: 👍 Janis: though it's tempting as it's the furthest you've wanted to let me walk in ages Jimmy: want's pushing it Jimmy: but I've seen your top 🦩 impression now Janis: I get it Janis: you wanna see it more Janis: well attractive Jimmy: #kinkunlocked Jimmy: 🎪🤹🤡 you Jimmy: dead chuffed to see your trapeze next Janis: suppose freak can be a compliment Janis: in the right context Jimmy: [puts it in the right context for a pisstakey 🔥 sext] Janis: yeah Janis: like that Janis: 🥇 asshole Jimmy: 🥉 more like Janis: why's that Jimmy: a 🥇 dickhead ain't that easy to ✔ off as a dickhead Janis: you wanted 😳 Janis: it's not not happening but I don't need to admit it Jimmy: if I wanted 😳 I'd get it Jimmy: with no need for you to admit owt Janis: alright then Janis: take your 🥉 Jimmy: you're alright Janis: time for bed then, dickhead Jimmy: as a piss off goes, I've heard worse Janis: I've done better Janis: but it must be the sugar crash Jimmy: I can do better with compliments an' all Janis: so you say Jimmy: and 🖋 Janis: I'm not doubting your fake boyf ability Jimmy: that weren't what I said Janis: or your 🎨 Jimmy: weren't bringing that up either Janis: come on Jimmy: what? Janis: 🤯 Jimmy: I dunno what you're on about Janis: it's mutual Janis: don't worry Jimmy: you heard, I can do better, nowt to be 🤯 or do a 🥁 for Janis: You can't tell me what to do or not to do either way Jimmy: that ain't what I'm trying to do Janis: that's good then Jimmy: 👌 Janis: I know you have a dog and a kid kicking you right now Janis: but you really need the beauty sleep Jimmy: rude Janis: you're ruder Jimmy: how am I? Janis: you're just Janis: I don't know Janis: but worse than me Janis: sure of that Jimmy: I were just trying to be less of a twat right then Janis: 😂 Janis: you just confuse me Janis: you aren't like 😡 🤬 rude right now Jimmy: it ain't my fault you can't take a compliment or apology attempt, dickhead Janis: I tried to take a compliment and you said it barely was one Janis: that's what I mean Janis: you're just weird and it's SO rude that you're letting Mia be right, tbh Jimmy: 'cause it weren't Jimmy: a pisstake's a pisstake, a compliment's a compliment Janis: then where have you tried to say sorry or anything not a pisstake Jimmy: what the fuck else does I can do better mean? Janis: Alright, God Janis: don't act like I'm thick Janis: you ain't speaking English Jimmy: bit racist Jimmy: this ain't even a voice memo Janis: yeah, you're well oppressed Jimmy: tah for recognising it, mate Janis: annoying, that's the word I was looking for Jimmy: funny'll do for you, oh hang on, nah Jimmy: meant to go the other way there Janis: yeah the sign of a proper jokes person is cracking yourself up Janis: 👌 babes Jimmy: piss off to bed, babes Janis: don't be jealous of all the space I've got Janis: gonna proper stretch out Jimmy: like I said, well unfunny you Janis: you can't escape when he's proper asleep? Jimmy: to where? Janis: your bed? Janis: his, if that is where you are Jimmy: his is a little kid bed, not stretching out in there Jimmy: 💔😭🎻 Janis: You poor thing Janis: bunk bed sharing would almost be preferable Jimmy: yeah Janis: at least your brother don't vape Jimmy: #ultimatesilverlining Janis: ☀ Jimmy: tah Jimmy: proper cheered now Janis: have only got a single here Janis: not living that luxurious Jimmy: and a 🐻 bear either side, you'll be fucked when the 3rd one comes through after having a piss Janis: better off taking my chances in the park? Janis: still time for that as well Jimmy: never nursed a dickhead with hypothermia before, decent way to pad out my CV Janis: 😒 Janis: yeah, go on Janis: just a neverending case study, me Jimmy: 🥇 muse in every way Janis: real or pisstake Jimmy: reckon I'd be able to 👀 you from here, could be a real inspiration Janis: you probably could anyway, nearly Janis: live pretty close but not giving any more away Janis: gotta keep the privacy and mystery, like Jimmy: brb gotta start a new 📷 IG Jimmy: @longlens Janis: 😂 Janis: if I've got a stalker I'm definitely 🥇 Janis: #madeit Jimmy: you do now Jimmy: 👋👀 Janis: get in Janis: mum'll be so proud Jimmy: got nowt else to do but crack on looking in windows til I find yours, mine'll chuffed to bits an' all Janis: Bill's 👻 will be Janis: unless you get distracted by some other random, then he'll be raging Jimmy: it's his script, I'd just be sticking to it Janis: that's going off script Janis: the other girl is before Janis: don't just get the wrong balcony and change your mind Jimmy: spoilsport Janis: it's Bill's 👻 not me Janis: he don't like improv Jimmy: harder to please than Lucas, him Janis: I'm doing alright 😇 Jimmy: he reckons your tits are 🥇 no accounting for taste Janis: nothing wrong with 🥈 Jimmy: when it's around your neck Janis: the view helps, yeah Janis: #toptits Jimmy: 😏 Janis: not your fault I'm exactly his type Janis: don't feel bad Jimmy: we can both wear the white 👰 but it don't make us exactly his type Jimmy: he'd be the one to call you a slag Janis: you have defiled me Janis: told you that's why he's so pissed off Jimmy: you gonna take an apology for that then? Janis: be a bit weird if you apologized Janis: was the plan Janis: just unfortunate collateral, him Jimmy: it weren't actually Janis: 'course it was Janis: nothing #goals about celibacy Jimmy: you know what I mean Janis: was just a joke Janis: I don't need an apology Jimmy: don't you? Janis: no Janis: why do you think I do? Jimmy: why have I got it in your own words loads of times that you reckon it shouldn't have happened if you don't? Janis: No, I only meant it like Janis: it's made things awkward now, is why we shouldn't have Janis: not in a, I didn't want to at the time way Janis: it's not like you did anything wrong Jimmy: and what, it weren't awkward for you before? Janis: What, like I've got loads of past experience with how to navigate a fake dating scenario? Jimmy: exactly my point Jimmy: it were weird as soon as I suggested it Janis: granted Janis: it's just weirder now you don't want to but we still have to fake shit Janis: if we'd not gone there, that wouldn't factor into the overall headfuckery Jimmy: I don't want to what? Janis: not fake it Janis: sometimes, like Jimmy: we've not talked about what I do or don't want Jimmy: so that's bollocks for a start Janis: it ain't Janis: I can read a room Jimmy: so can I, don't be putting it all on me like I fucked it Janis: I weren't but you clearly are so cheers for that Jimmy: you said me, I ain't speaking for you Janis: I haven't said you've fucked anything up Jimmy: I've made it weirder is what you said Janis: no, it IS weirder Janis: 'cos of decisions we both made Jimmy: that's a cop out Jimmy: I can also read between the lines and that's you reckoning the decisions you're making now are right and mine are bollocks Janis: all I'm trying to do is not be a massive twat here Janis: it's not right or wrong Janis: I can't help if I still wanna but I'm not gonna whinge about it like some nice guy or something as lame Jimmy: nicely done then Janis: fine Janis: fuck this Jimmy: I don't get what your problem is Janis: what do you mean? Janis: how do you not get that I'm accepting what you want and dealing with it and you're just taking the piss Jimmy: I've never said I want that Janis: What? Jimmy: when or where have I? Janis: that you don't want me to just do what I want and not give a fuck about what you do? Janis: it's just a given that I won't be a total cunt like that, surely Jimmy: you heard me, you don't know what I want Jimmy: dunno why it's a given that you'd just guess Janis: then tell me Janis: why am I guessing Jimmy: you've got some bollocks 💭 in your head that's nowt to do with me or what I've 🗨 Jimmy: that'll be why Janis: tell me Jimmy: It didn't feel like a mistake to me Janis: that's the opposite of what I thought you thought Janis: alright Jimmy: you were being a massive twat, keep up, we've done that bit Janis: no, great Janis: actually got to go bludgeon myself with a big rock now Jimmy: don't Jimmy: it's a job to talk to you when you ain't brain damaged Janis: I'm serious Janis: and I'm sorry Janis: jesus fucking christ Jimmy: me an' all, dunno if it's safe for you to go to this friendmas 'cause you obvs CAN'T read a room, sweetheart Jimmy: could be deadly serious, that Janis: I know I deserve it but please shut up Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: why haven't you done anything about it then Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Janis: if you can read a room, allegedly Janis: works both ways right Jimmy: you said it shouldn't have happened, how else would you like me to read into that? Jimmy: a mistake is what I heard Janis: I said that when you called me a slag Jimmy: but I didn't Jimmy: and what works both ways an' all is that you haven't done owt since then either Janis: yeah, because from my point of view, you called me easy, I made you apologize for it and then you ain't come near me since Janis: I'm not killing myself for no reason Janis: you've never said bullshit when you're fuming? Jimmy: I ain't the baby Jesus Jimmy: 'course I have Jimmy: and will do again, might be to you Janis: There you go then Janis: I said it was a mistake 'cos it sounded like you reckoned as much Janis: we may as well be on the same page Janis: didn't want to be that twat but that worked out well Jimmy: it just Jimmy: touched a nerve, alright Janis: yeah Janis: alright Janis: clearly so did the easy thing so not gonna judge Jimmy: our lives are headfucks, that's why we need this to make it easier Janis: that was meant to be the idea Janis: we just need to Janis: replan Janis: maybe? Jimmy: we just need to talk to each other Janis: easier said than done Janis: but yeah Janis: not wrong Jimmy: if I have to spell it out and stick my CAPS on, I can do Jimmy: I work in customer service, like Janis: that's lovely Janis: really wanna be compared to one of your customers Jimmy: hey, you know you're way too fit and mysterious Janis: barely at this point Janis: I've come across as a total fucking state Jimmy: Oi, we can do this ☀ girl Janis: I'm up for listening Janis: and I won't infer the rest, that much is a deal Jimmy: 🤝 Janis: 🩸🖋 Jimmy: We going to the park then or what? Janis: we don't have to speak when we get there, do we? Jimmy: bit rude you ain't gonna recite a sonnet to me, Jules, but I'll live Janis: maybe another night Janis: but I'm still pretty fucking mortified right now so you gotta promise Jimmy: we're doing alright if you're promising me another night Jimmy: and I'm clearly on fine form for giving you more accidental poetry so Janis: shame to waste it? Janis: I guess you can but don't expect me to because I'm better when I keep it shut Jimmy: you're Janis: don't finish that before I've had the chance to change your mind Jimmy: as promises go, I reckon I can keep that one Janis: and I can promise it'll be worth it Jimmy: go on Jimmy: before you stop saying owt to me Janis: I promise Janis: that you're gonna have even more to say about me and even less idea how to say it Jimmy: I Jimmy: there, you're managing to stop me going on already Janis: I don't mind when you go on Janis: just not what I want right now Jimmy: time and a place to be on script, I get it Janis: exactly Janis: and you've gotta be off the clock sometimes Jimmy: @ my manager in a bit Jimmy: just not right now Janis: not invited Jimmy: and you can't hop and @ Janis: don't challenge me Jimmy: nursing kink ain't gonna go away when your ankle stops being the size of your head Jimmy: gotta plan ahead Janis: you could just look after me Janis: I'll fake whatever injury you fancy Jimmy: how many oscars you after? Janis: 🥇 or nowt Jimmy: get a hop on then Janis: Am Janis: not trying to get caught mid-hop though so 🤫 Jimmy: 🤐 Jimmy: you could just tell me where you are and have a hand, I ain't allowed to be the one who 💀💀💀 you Janis: I could Janis: was mainly arsed about getting caught in the gaff but still Janis: be quicker Janis: [location] Jimmy: if I get there and there ain't no nan or granddad I'll chuck you the log ins for the stalker account Janis: like I've made 'em up Janis: and I've broke into a house just to be close-by? Janis: I don't reckon I'm that dedicated Jimmy: dunno about that, all I know is I could spit and you'd be hopping on a wet foot Janis: 🤤 would've been more romantic, Romeo Jimmy: Oi, I deliberately didn't say piss to be more romantic Janis: erm, talk to me!!! 😤😤😤 Janis: #ultimatekinkunlocked Jimmy: alright fine, I'll piss on the side of the house you're squatting in, stop begging Janis: 😂 Janis: good luck Janis: it's freezing Jimmy: sounds like some weird ⛄ challenge, I'd better film it for Tammy's tiktok Janis: SO thoughtful, babe Janis: just giving her that clout for free Jimmy: just that kind of dickhead, me Janis: I'll @ you in my glowing review later Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: [show up boy it's really not far] Jimmy: which window am I climbing up to with a 🌹 in my 🦷🦷 Janis: you mean, which bit of pavement am I gonna be scraping you off of when you slip to your 💀💀💀 Jimmy: challenge accepted Jimmy: your nan'll love the 💕 if you don't bother directing me Janis: I'll remember to pick up your 🦷🦷 and all Janis: [but flashing the light of the room you in like sup] Jimmy: wrap 'em up for Asia and it's job done on winning them all over Jimmy: [get your bae Jimothy] Janis: 💕🎁 Jimmy: [please don't actually die lol] Janis: [at least there is a genuine ladder up lmao, just don't wake the child or mcvickers] Jimmy: [now isn't the time for you to recite shakespeare, another time nerd] Janis: [you gotta be quiet, which is why we're not staying 'cos we know the vibe] Jimmy: [likewise why we're not going to his house either even though it's cold af] Janis: [soz about it but not, you're young and you'll be warm af soon enough] Jimmy: [gotta do what you gotta do lads and the park has those good mems and the graffiti you did so] Janis: [enjoy ladies] Jimmy: [until you have to go to work live your best life] Janis: [at least you have reconciled to totally boss this friendmas] Jimmy: [soz I ruined the tension but it would've been hard to concentrate on ruining Mia's life with that hanging over you] Janis: [we go with the flow honey] Jimmy: [we can totally skip to friendmas if you want unless you wanna have a CG work moment] Janis: [like you could but you probably shouldn't sleep out here again all night so yes, we could do a little CG moment] Jimmy: [gotta go there for the first time at some point, get that off menu smoothie and some food that's actually vaguely edible] Janis: [have cute moments, even though we know none of the flatwhites will be there] Jimmy: [we can post them to annoy Mia before we even get there because we all know Pablo isn't coming] Janis: [try one of calebs other kids hen, might be easier to use] Jimmy: [teach the bae how to do festive latte art they'll be jealous af and the manager is never there either] Janis: [do have some funny latte art pics, along with whatever we invariably actually bring yous] Jimmy: [#fated] Janis: [I kinda want you to go out and get them something pisstakey but I really cannot think what] Jimmy: [it would be funny, hmm what could we do?] Janis: [some kind of game/drinking game/or forbidden food vibe, actual fun Mia would not be happy about is the point] Jimmy: [things should totally get said during these games that they have for more blackmail potential to add to her cheating on the school trip] Jimmy: [I'm just debating whether Asia should have a bf who comes like we did at that sleepover that time or if we wanna save that for another time] Janis: [spill that tea ladies, we all know it don't take much for you to turn on each other so] Janis: [and I vote no, I think, plenty of opportunities to do that later though] Jimmy: [fair, Mia probably is hoping Asia'll seduce Jimothy so can't have a bf in the way] Janis: [and it's just BFF goals vibes, like you aren't allowed boys because they aren't important, soz Asia you hoe] Jimmy: [mhmm] Janis: [can't let lads know how weird you all are] Jimmy: [the scolding tea] Janis: [pretending to be normal is for real xmas with your fams hens] Jimmy: [I don't need to be thinking about you gals at christmas thanks] Janis: [teenage xmas is the worst tbh] Jimmy: [agreed] Jimmy: [do you think there's any decorations they could steal out of the CG or are they too hipstery?] Janis: [I think we could probably get decent indoor ones from there, steal a lil tree moment] Jimmy: [do it while the flatwhites aren't there because Mia and Ella are snitches and he don't need to get fired this close to christmas] Janis: [do it at the start of your shift and hide it, who's noticing this close to xmas, no hoe except them so stay away] Jimmy: [we need this christmas cheer excuse us] Janis: [kids would do it anyway or they'd get broke, get a life gals] Jimmy: [we're trying to save christmas for Bobby here so bye] Janis: [it'll be magical and we're stealing your lights bitch bye] Jimmy: [Ella doesn't need them, not sorry] Janis: [also, not related but meet Pete too] Jimmy: [not in a way that makes him 😒 and jealous though we've only just reconciled] Janis: [my boo says give me my fluff] Jimmy: [defs gonna draw JJ and Twix tangled up in christmas lights for today's doodle once they've decorated so there's my fluff] Janis: [that's cute af get it boy] Janis: [we can go through lowkey and then stop whenever we wanna fully do something, so, should we be one of the first to get there or last what's the vibe] Jimmy: [I think first like it's just Mia and obvs Ella cos it's her house LOL there because they'd hate that and I said Grace was late, it makes sense Hollie would be too because she's even more done with them] Janis: [that's a mood, oh gals, how welcome are you gonna make them feel] Jimmy: [can't even do the gift exchange until everyone gets here, how awkward, good thing Jimothy will shamelessly request a house tour] Janis: [the casual side-eye you're gonna have to hold in, like lemme pretend to be so uninterested in your house which is undeniably big without coming off as salty] Jimmy: [he'll carry you through this gaff gal, nothing will annoy Ella and Mia more than when you're more into each other and being coupley af than the rich gal flexes in every room] Janis: [at least we can play up how bad the ankle is again, get me ice ho] Jimmy: [Ella never did get any sympathy she'll be fuming, play up that nursing conveniently like when you get to Ella's room like oops gotta just rest here for a bit soz] Janis: [just regaling how much he's looked after you like that bitch] Jimmy: [as he fusses over you, god bless, we're literally gonna do all we can to make Mia storm out and back downstairs haha] Janis: [ergo asking where Pablo is, like oh, thought he'd be here] Jimmy: [Jimothy is so amused he's gonna hide his face in the bae] Janis: [just lowkey ignoring her to be subtly all over him when she rants about the importance of gal time or whatever like mhmm interesting] Jimmy: [literally why wasn't he banned if that's true hun, hence he'll be even more unsubtly all over her until we're genuinely ignoring the gals] Janis: [we all know it's one rule for you and another for them but that didn't pan out lololol, awkward when you'd wanna watch for an uncomfortable amount of time Mia, make Asia show please so you can't] Jimmy: [go answer the door to her so they can have a moment but also snoop through Ella's shit thank you] Janis: [just like where it the shrine honey] Jimmy: [shame it's so far in the future that she wouldn't have a paper diary for them to find, unless like they used to have those kid ones and Ella kept hers because the golden age of this friendship obvs] Janis: [imagine how 1. gay it'd be 2. all the goss on them all, have a read of that lads] Jimmy: [take 📷 because you'll never know when you might need them] Janis: [get that relevant tea 'was her sister the donkey?' 'cos Asia is here and we remembering] Jimmy: [a little lol as we forlornly shake our head because she sadly was not and they missed a trick 'Mary' because why not 'makes sense why Joseph was having none of her' just calling a child ugly here nbd] Janis: [makes a face like she's so appalled like oh no 'your brother's year must be a real bunch of uggos' 'cos we're on the same wavelength here] Jimmy: ['not saying the director's onto something but as top casting for a homeless virgin who looks like she's had her head shut in a door goes..' trailing off with a shrug like we haven't just dragged a little girl to within an inch of her life] Janis: [violently shushing him as they come up, as if Asia would ever clock it, god bless, but then it just looks like you've got an amazing in joke 'cos it's like omg babe] Jimmy: [love that cos we've gotta actually be nice to Asia as she's the first person here you can actually get on your side, so use your barista charm boy] Janis: [compliment her jumper or something girl, can't let him do everything Jimmy: [and take some selfies with her that you can easily but subtly exclude the other 2 from cos 3's already a crowd huns] Janis: [love that, and Asia should have a boyf that she wanna talk about 'cos then you can actually let her gal and she'll be buzzing] Jimmy: [yassssss encourage her in all the ways those 2 don't and won't ever] Janis: [at least you can pretend you're throwing 😍 at him when really it's pained looks lmao] Jimmy: [and we can talk about the nativity and younger sibling christmas bs because those 2 bitchy only children could never] Janis: [mhmm, hopefully you love your sisters more than just accessories gal] Jimmy: [there's no way to know but JJ are slaying this so well done lads] Janis: [honestly need some kind of award 'cos it can't be overstated how hard Mia & Ella would be trying to bitch you both out] Jimmy: [hence I'm like is there anything else you can do while it's just shameless stealing Asia tactics before the others get here because we know it's not hard to get those two on side] Janis: [Hmm, what's a stupid bitch want what's a stupid bitch need] Janis: [you'll want your latte before they go cold tbf] Jimmy: [I hope he's brought like some christmas ugly jumper biscuits from the CG because getting her hyped up on sugar will only make her more annoying] Janis: [she's basically a child, just let her live in the ways they don't tbh and she'll be thrilled] Jimmy: [literally talking to her about what she wants for christmas like she is a child LOL] Janis: [try not to cackle, but we are 1000% getting on his lap to make a sneaky point like easy 🎅} Jimmy: [never have to fake how into that we are and it's a great segue to tell her all the #goals shit we've been up to and all the festive coupley plans we have] Janis: [when you truly have like it sounds like so much, y'all will be jealous] Jimmy: [as if you aren't fuming enough by how touchy feely and loved up they are before they've even said a word] Janis: [trying to separate them but also don't want their help with anything, we see you] Jimmy: [at least when JJ have had enough they can go 🚬 and on a christmas lights scouting mission because it's #goals to go have a wander and look at lights and it gets dark early af so you can] Janis: [that is goals, don't lie, you probably need to get through dinner first my loves, just be overly helpful with the food prep so you can lowkey fuck it up and they'll be raging] Jimmy: [Grace will be buzzing when she gets there cos not only is Pablo not but she's the only one who has gifts for jj out of these gals] Janis: [thank god he ain't there, we would simply throw hands lmao, lord knows shit nan and the extra ex will be making an appearance soon] Jimmy: [Grace would have straight up walked in and straight back out again if he was and you know it Mia so good luck chatting shit about friendship then] Janis: [get to getting this starter everyone try not to actively vom at the table] Jimmy: [at least that would taste nice cos it's literally brie and cranberry and walnuts and honey so you're welcome everyone] Janis: [looking at y'all 💀💀 why do I feel like JJ need to go to the toilets immediately after like you two cannot, the shade of it all] Jimmy: [LOVE that] Janis: [sure you have more than 2 but we know what's being said huns] Jimmy: [the point has been made] Janis: 😈💩🤮❌ Jimmy: 🎻😭💔 Janis: oh no, is this the group chat? Janis: sorry Jimmy: *😱😱😱 Jimmy: if it were Janis: 😱😱😱😱😱 of 'em Jimmy: soz, you're dead right, babe Janis: though I don't think the big one is doing it right Janis: awks Jimmy: she'll be getting her bollocking now Janis: poor cow Janis: if I were to cast her in a nativity Janis: but I'm just seeing what meds they've got Jimmy: @Helena Janis: ugh, I wish Janis: what back problems is this flat-chested 💀 gonna have Jimmy: you're alright though, yeah? Janis: of course I am Janis: just potential dirt Jimmy: 👍 Janis: you alright? Jimmy: nowt wrong with my 🦶 Jimmy: might end up with back problems of my own if you ain't 💩🤮 in there but Helena'll sort it Janis: fuck off Janis: negging me, dickhead Jimmy: I get it, you're gutted there weren't no 🦒 at the birth of Jesus Jimmy: no need to take it out on me Janis: only elves in the christmas story, so you're no better off Jimmy: your 👂 kink is blatant, Jennifer Janis: psh Jimmy: not gonna stick that 💎 you owe me in mine if that's the best comeback you've got Janis: you're very annoying, I'm pretending to 💩🤮 Jimmy: no 👂's pressed against the door, putting you off? Janis: you tell me Janis: can I perform without an audience? Jimmy: we've not done 💩🤮 Janis: #kinkstillonlock Jimmy: [another pisstakey 🥺 selfie because gotta kill time in this bathroom somehow] Janis: do you reckon that's 💀#2 thing? Janis: 💀👑 is obviously killing people slowly Jimmy: bit weird you having that in common Janis: oh no Janis: have to speed it up Jimmy: ready when you are Janis: come here? Jimmy: [does] Janis: [have a little makeout moment because we're swagging this and deserve it Jimmy: [pick her up and sit her on the sink so she doesn't have to stand up and because it's a #mood] Janis: [so shook that we gasping but in a good way, like] Jimmy: [you can have a noise back gal because we're into it] Janis: [IRL 🥺 'cos we have to go back, even if we're purposefully taking ages here] Jimmy: [just doing the MOST to make her forget that we have to go back because we don't want to either] Janis: [at least there's a perfect excuse to be loud and extra so you can go 'til you get caught and someone is like excuse me get out lol] Jimmy: [the joys] Janis: [will definitely be Ella or Asia] Jimmy: [we know Mia sent you whichever one it is, probably Ella cos it's her house so she can be that bitch] Janis: [I mean, at least we didn't break your sink hun] Jimmy: [or fuck in your bed which we easily could have] Janis: [nights still young but yeah count your blessings xoxo anyway, the main meal, we probably know the vibe?] Jimmy: [you know Mia and Ella were in charge of that bit cos clearly giving Hollie pudding to call her a fat bitch and not trusting Asia with basically anything so it's not gonna be 🥇] Janis: [it's gonna be so bland with like low-fat everything and ew] Jimmy: [gonna have to start a cute little flirty food fight moment like Tony and Effy had, skins we see you and your incesty energy, when they made those faces then that spoon got flicked etc, so you don't have to eat this] Janis: [their energy was so strange lol, like they did go out so it probably didn't help but we see you, also doing a fake like you're going to eat it and you're trying to be polite but it's so gross soz we cannot] Jimmy: [everyone be pushing that food hardcore around their plates,, can't even do a feeding each other romantic moment because it's too grim] Janis: [like ladies, you can't binge and go to town for one day, not when the others can see, we get it] Jimmy: [save the day with whatever pudding you've brought Hollie thank you] Janis: [bitches be ravenous, at least we eat at the CG] Jimmy: [jimothy got your back gal, can and will eat again when you're decorating too so] Janis: [and it's time for presents] Jimmy: [I literally can't stress enough how happy and shook he's gonna be because feelsy gifts are not a thing in his life rn it's all on Bobby to make a cute card or whatever so his thank you hug will be very genuine and emosh and he'll write 'you're' on her back for that throwback because we are speechless and a ! for emphasis] Janis: [when you're lowkey thinking he's faking most of that at least but then he writes on you so you know it's real so then you're smiley af, enjoy that guys, you can't even shade 'cos it's personal and shit he wants and what do any of y'all know about that, and writing 'you' back] Jimmy: [the gals can't be shading anyway because they'll too busy DYING when he puts this necklace on her because it's intimate af, gotta gently move that hair out of the way, kiss the back of her neck in a soft way, the whole 9] Janis: [just fully ignoring them all and it ain't even fake, gotta be SO grateful excuse us] Jimmy: [we're in the moment and our feelings bitches] Janis: ['I can't even deal with you' talking more like them but where is the lie] Jimmy: [we gotta just kiss her because 1. what are words even fake words 2. you know exactly how to deal with me cos we're 🥇] Janis: [just ignore the 😒😒😒😒😒 you're getting for AGES then be like oh, please, open your presents] Jimmy: [just being couple goals casually in the background while the gals pretend to care about each other's gifts] Janis: [I live] Jimmy: [highlight of the day tbh] Janis: [you know they wrapping up and putting that shite film on so fast honey, like oh yeah, give them an excuse to cuddle under a blanket] Jimmy: [literally Mia is this close to kicking all of y'all out and it ain't even her house] Janis: [it's so funny how easy it is to piss y'all off, do have to remember to keep the rest vaguely on side though] Jimmy: [you've done well lads and we all know none of the gals actually wanna watch this film they probably do the same one every year, just on their phones super bored] Janis: [you gotta lowkey suggest you play a game instead like come on this is BOOOOOOOORING] Jimmy: [he's a boy he's allowed to hate rom coms so it's easily done] Janis: [you two 💀 can protest but clearly we're over it so you outnumbered even if Asia was like I don't mind or whatever] Jimmy: [get that tea, especially if it's a drinking game because they are all lightweights] Janis: [we know this could get passive-aggressive fast lol] Jimmy: [it will blatantly which is how we can bring this friendmas to an end without it looking like JJ's fault] Janis: [hohaha just like this is awkward gals] Jimmy: [run away and look at aka steal some lights lads, your work here is done] Janis: [you can go decorate his now and make the kids day] Jimmy: [though we might have to kill some time and do it when they're asleep because I doubt we were at Ella's that late] Janis: [true hen, we know we killed this party before tea time honestly lol] Jimmy: [walk some dogs together first of all] Janis: [get that cash babies] Jimmy: [they should come back and eat some actually nice christmassy snacks and watch a christmas film that doesn't suck and play a game with Bobby that doesn't end in murder like this is how easy it is to do better than you gals] Janis: [yes, 'cos 1. real 2. all they'd have to do was a couple of pics and everyone would know the flatwhites was a flop] Jimmy: [exactly and she hasn't met Bobby yet so I thought that'd be a nice chill way to do it cos not trying to make it a thing™] Janis: [yes, this is true, rip to not seeing your marvellous sheep performance hen] Jimmy: [and he can talk about wanting to see Santa to put that idea in jj's heads] Janis: [easy] Janis: Oi Janis: use your elf connections Jimmy: 🎅 or nowt, me Jimmy: [takes off that ugly christmas jumper in a pisstakey way like I've got the body for it] Janis: [😏 and pats his tummy like yeah] Jimmy: [fakes like he's gonna put a cushion up his top but then chucks it at her head] Janis: [whispers the obscenities behind Bobby's head] Jimmy: [signs something at her which is obvs 6 year old level insults to make Bobby lol and join in] Janis: [just getting dragged, fake cry so Twix comes to support you gal] Jimmy: [we'll teach you gal it's always useful] Janis: [love that] Jimmy: [at least if Cass comes back we can bribe her into walking some dogs for us because don't need the 😒 when we've just escaped the flatwhites] Janis: [at least you'll get some spends gal, because that age you can't even get your own job so it's pocket money purely] Jimmy: [win her over as well lads nicely done] Jimmy: 🏆🥇💪 us Janis: I'll be waiting for my card, like Jimmy: 🐾 an' all Janis: awh Janis: you don't need to sign it Janis: got the doodles Jimmy: subtle Jimmy: I ain't forgot I owe you one Janis: 🕥 Janis: gonna be THAT bitch 🙄 Jimmy: nowt more #goals than nagging a lad to 💀💀💀 babes Janis: except that friendmas, AM I RIGHT Jimmy: [IRL LOL because] Janis: [😏] Janis: kinda sad how easy that was Jimmy: [a shrug because we see them all the damn time at the CG we knew how easy it'd be] Jimmy: alright, I'll give you a challenge, girl, stop begging Janis: just saying Janis: BFFs it ain't Jimmy: and you'd never know from the group chat Janis: yeah Janis: the performance they put on would be almost impressive if it weren't tragic 'cos no one cares Jimmy: [chucks her some gingerbread house kit like there's your challenge babe because they always suck and never stick together and taste gross 'make that look goals and you'll impress me']] Janis: [obviously we're gonna do it 'cos can't turn a challenge, also roping Bobby into helping by letting him eat some of the sweets which are the only nice part of tbh, just LOOKing at him like 'why would I need to do that?' like is it don't care to or is it already have, we know] Janis: *down Jimmy: [Twix not helping but getting involved god bless her, we're giving her a LOOK back because always will hen 'might just be worth it' cos remember when she made that promise before they went to the park last night, he does] Janis: [God loves a trier Twix, lowkey feeding one of the gingerbread people to her and doing mini screams of terror as it gets its head chomped off lol, then having to hide our 😳s 'cos of course it will be and of course we do] Jimmy: [just watching this and falling in love nbd] Janis: [when you've inadvertently done them a solid there 'cos there's usually a mummy and a daddy and then 2 kids so like, fuck you Ian we're just making Jimmy and Cass and Bobby and there's no awkwardness over missing mum] Jimmy: [I didn't even think of that goodbye] Janis: [like thank you girl for swerving that lmao, also putting the shades on him and holding it up like eh, eh?!] Janis: likeness is uncanny Jimmy: Oi, where's my 🚬? Janis: there's nothing festive about throat cancer Jimmy: Dickens 👻'd disagree Jimmy: he's 💔 it got cut in the edit Janis: there's still time for your manager to show up with a goose Janis: and if you get me some crutches, you won't have to do so much heavy lifting Jimmy: more of a 🐷 you but we'll crack on regardless Janis: you're so rude Janis: if I WAS Miss Piggy, I'd kick you down right now Jimmy: one good trotter an' all 💕 Janis: it's important I keep you under it Janis: Kermit is the ultimate cuck Jimmy: #ultimategoals Jimmy: 💀👑 can't even get a text back Janis: she's the rat Jimmy: keep it between us 💀#2 is gonna be gutted they ain't ⛓ together Janis: for all eternity Janis: being judgy af Jimmy: her only kink unlocked Janis: there's fuck all 🧠 or 💪 energy left to have any other passion Janis: it's 💀👑 and nothing else and that's the way they 💕 it Jimmy: [sends her his fave gayest pages of the diary like LOL cos they only had time to skim read at the time] Janis: [trying not to actually lol out loud 'cos still doing this house and watching this film] Janis: imagine 💬 that and not faking it Jimmy: [nudges her because we wanna hear that lol soz if we knock you when you're building] Jimmy: imagine 💭 that BEFORE you were 🧠 dead Janis: [a face like HOW DARE, don't sabotage me, boy but we grinning] Janis: maybe she was WELL lovely before my sister started hanging about Janis: she will do that to you, like Jimmy: [😘 like ILY babe I would NEVER] Jimmy: Puberty'll do that when you wanna fuck your daddy an' all Jimmy: not to snatch away your 🏆 or owt, Gracie Janis: [dangling gingerbread him over her tea like I'll do it, bitch, try me] Janis: she's used to it Janis: 🏅 participation Jimmy: [a look like do it because death wish 5ever] Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: [acting like we really considering it, before putting him back and getting to work on a frosting Twix 'cos tah for being the right colour and texture lowkey lol] Janis: death march more appropriate after today Jimmy: kill bill siren sound Janis: love to take a samurai sword to 'em                                                                                                                         ' Janis: 💔 my christmas ruined Jimmy: more 🏆 than them tiktoks with the 🍏 🍎 🍐 🍊 🍋 🍌 🍉 🍇 🍓 🍈 🍒 🍑 🥭 🍍 🥥 🥝 Janis: but not more 🏆 than this gaff Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: yeah, reserve your judgment 'til I'm finished Jimmy: til we're finished, dickhead Janis: I will have to do the high ones though Jimmy: [another playful nudge like piss off and the gingerbread house wall will be falling] Janis: [lowkey pissed off haha not majorly but attacking him with this frosting like STAPH] Jimmy: [playfight because always] Janis: [being like, Bobby, please protect the castle, I'mma fight off this monster real quick] Jimmy: [that sweet boy gonna take his job so seriously god bless] Janis: [as are we you're going down jimothy] Jimmy: [until we use distracting tactics like picking up the pendant part of that necklace like oh hey remember this and how much you love me] Janis: [looking at Bobby like you have to play fair when there's other people about] Jimmy: [draws a 🏆 on whatever bare skin there is, obvs taking our time to be flirty af cos we're always playing to win honey] Janis: [at least you don't have to worry about calling him a dickhead right now 'cos we must lest we say anything else] Jimmy: [likewise can say 'you' back and not worry about how his voice shamelessly sounds, ah deaf brother perks] Janis: [write 'later' on him 'cos we can promise that] Jimmy: [just as well because Cass can't be out walking dogs forever and she will charge in all snowy and cold like make me a cuppa bitch and obvs Jimothy will] Janis: [and she would not be happy at this scene because grumpy tween life, so focus you two] Janis: you know how I like it Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: [jimothy just shouting through like a fussy dad @ Cass like if you want a warm shower or bath go after this cos I'mma be starting Bobby's bedtime routine soon] Janis: [probs not at all mortified you did that in front of Janis, nice one boy] Jimmy: [she hates him so much during this time period I lol Janis: [poor boy, you're doing you're best, we all are] Janis: [at least you can clear away this gingerbread carnage] Jimmy: [join him in the kitchen gal but not in the flirty way he hoped would be happening a bit ago] Janis: [just subtly helping without being asked always, love that for yous] Jimmy: [she's so caring in a way that he is not used to at all, it kills me] Janis: [just coming up behind him in a fake-out trying to scare you but not actually way 'you want me to clear out of here for a bit?' like, come back later when they're asleep vibes] Jimmy: [just saying no before he can stop himself and then it's like well now I wanna die] Janis: [just nodding like okay, 'cos not gonna make a big deal even though that was obviously a speedy reply] Jimmy: [doing his own nod towards the window like the weather is the reason we don't want her to go even though we know now how close mcvickers gaff is and that she'd be fine] Janis: ['I'm fine with staying cosy' and takes half the teas in] Jimmy: [shit like this is why we're falling in love with you gal] Janis: [like we are gonna feel slightly awkward whilst he's sorting his siblings but we know the drill from our own back in the day so we can deal] Jimmy: [we'll be sending Cass upstairs for her long bath like my boo used to have because being a tween is the worst okay, good thing Ian isn't here for how long she'll be in there and the music blasting but we're gonna be stuck with Bobert for a while cos he won't wanna go to bed] Janis: [when you partying, live your dreams babe, can't fight you, put on a slightly more chill xmas movie maybe, like idk, polar express or something, he'll fall asleep eventually] Jimmy: [Twix and Bobby falling asleep between you on this sofa like an adorable cockblock] Janis: [just looking over at him like, mission accomplished] Jimmy: [taking them upstairs to bed when it's safe to without waking them, the bae can take a snoozy Twix for you, nodding at Bobby's bed like told you I wouldn't be able to stretch out on that] Janis: [mimes measuring the bed and him like hmm, idk] Jimmy: [playfully pushes her out of the room] Janis: [at least you can take your chance to push him back and have a kiss in this corridor] Jimmy: [glad Cass' music will cover up how loud Jimothy is because of how badly he's wanted to kiss her for what would feel like an age] Janis: [you'll be so glad you didn't hear that, gal, well done, just like 'some santa' though 'cos where is your sneakiness] Jimmy: [looking at the necklace and back to her like excuse you I'm a great santa] Janis: [looking down and then touching it 'it's not totally shit, actually' obvs we were 😍 earlier but that was in front of the gals] Jimmy: [a shrug like it's all so casual and we don't give a fuck either 'did the job' because obvs it was all about impressing the gals and not her] Janis: ['glad I don't have to bin it' 'cos we actually like it and it's not basic just because we had to do a #goals gift moment] Jimmy: ['weren't where I got it out of' because we clearly did buy this there's no way you could've stolen it feasibly as it's jewellery] Janis: [raising a brow, 'you don't want it back, do you?' like are you saying it's too expensive or something] Jimmy: [shakes his head 'my tits'll never pass for yours' like I can't take #goals pics for the gram pretending I'm you so there's no point] Janis: [turns like good, 'cos I'm not giving it back, good day] Jimmy: [go put these decorations up and Jimothy will play the I saw mummy kissing Santa song to make the point like he ain't sneaky either so] Janis: ['that's because it's the dad, not the real santa, dickhead' like get ur facts straight hun] Jimmy: ['never said I were the real santa, Janet' like I'm just good at it like I am at everything thank you] Janis: [mime a 💔 and also a 🤫 'you are tonight'] Jimmy: ['sounds like I'll be going to see him in a bit' cos Bobby wants to, an unimpressed face like lucky me 'don't reckon he'll be fuming about the roleplay though, we're alright'] Janis: [😍 like LUCKY YOU 'there's one in [a place I've not looked up but I'm sure exists lol] that's meant to be pretty good'] Jimmy: [gets his phone out and has a look before giving her an IRL 👍 like a nerd because it looks decent enough] Janis: [bows like ya welcome] Jimmy: ['you coming?' cos she didn't do the nativity and the reason that would've looked #goals is the same here] Janis: [is thinking 'can I bring someone?'] Jimmy: [is a bit like whomst but nods because yeah obvs you can] Janis: ['alright then' like not gonna elaborate lol ok] Jimmy: [says it back and we're cracking on with these decorations] Janis: [get it gals, make it look magical] Jimmy: [at least his house isn't huge so it won't take you forever] Janis: [though it is a house so don't die doing an outside moment, make it work, like] Jimmy: [#teamwork but do take a break when you are outside to piss about with the snow even though there isn't loads you can still chuck it at each other and then get each other with your cold hands] Janis: [no more park for you gals, looking in the general direction of thinking as much] Jimmy: [looking where she's looking and thinking the same things, it was nice while it lasted lads, when he REALLY wants to tell her to stay here but we already embarrassed ourselves in the kitchen being like DON'T GO so we can't say anything] Janis: [at least this will keep you busy for a while, before you have no obvious reason to stay] Jimmy: [could feasibly take hours because it takes ages just to do a tree sometimes] Janis: [mhmm honey bunny, this is still gonna be awks though, at least you can say that you wanna bring your niece and work out those logistics like are we going tomorrow orrr 'cos not long now sweaty] Jimmy: [we probably are realistically, ew I hate to imagine how busy it would be] Janis: [my boo say disgusting lmao, at least you can make this goodbye more natural now like gotta get up for that hens, just being like, hope Bobby loves the decs 'cos we do] Jimmy: [gotta be in the morning so he can work in the afternoon because busy time and we need that cash honey, the greatest and best hug goodbye because it's been such a feelsy day] Janis: [trying not to linger and failing lowkey, we see y'all] Jimmy: [will offer to walk you home as if you haven't just been putting decs up with that ankle, we know you just are trying to keep this going] Janis: [do we reckon it's too late for public transport, like you don't wanna go home and you are just gonna come back tomorrow, soz mcvickers showing up again] Jimmy: [mcvickers are used to it and she needs Libi early that's our excuse] Janis: [let him walk you back then gal] Jimmy: [🚬 break during this walk back because there wouldn't have been enough of those today] Janis: [chance to breathe hens, you been busy, ruining lives, making days] Jimmy: [let it hit you boy how close christmas actually is] Janis: [we're all shook, like your mother must be hitting you up gal, what's the tea this year] Jimmy: [gonna ask her if she wants to go for breakfast tomorrow before this santa appointment because he wants Bobby to have a nice time, like we know we have to work a lot soz little man] Janis: ['as long as you aren't suggesting going in to work early' like you love your job SO much babe but obvs, we are down] Jimmy: [such an unamused noise and face because I can only imagine the hell that the CG is on the daily never mind at festive times] Janis: [😏 'cos we've literally been in ONCE at this point and we're like yeah, I know, y'all can go somewhere decent] Jimmy: [somewhere these bubs will love and think is so swag but you won't hate every second of] Jimmy: [when you wanna be like THANKS for today post friendmas but it's awkward so you just pull her back a little bit and then you're just there like -] Janis: [Dublin looks like there's loads of cool places in general so I have faith, doing the signature ?] Jimmy: [just looking at her like if you could read my mind rn that would be great] Janis: [so rude you cannot tbh, just pushing him gently like what though, like don't freak me out] Jimmy: ['tah for-' gestures back in the direction of his house 'our kid'll be chuffed to bits when he has a look'] Janis: [shrugs like nbd 'won't pass it on to #2' 'cos lots of those decs were hers but fuck you gal 'take a pic if he looks cute' 'cos we blatantly wanna see his reaction but not gonna outright say that so we just pretending it could be #goals content] Jimmy: ['should work in a grotto or some bollocks next year, you' not even a pisstake because she's great with kids and swagged that but we'll pretend we are, nods and mimes that he'll record his 😱 reaction, again we probably will but we can pretend we're taking the piss out of Grace's vlogmas vibes] Janis: ['you're the elf' and a face like lord no, do your own 👍 and go inside bitch] Jimmy: ['yeah and I'll have a word' heart hands like love you gal] Janis: [blow a kiss like you're buzzing at the prospect] Jimmy: [catch it as you watch her go boy]

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Grace

Janis: what's the name of that boy we were partnered with first day Janis: the one when we won? Grace: Craig Grace: why? Janis: that's it Janis: what's his deal, how do you know him? Grace: I literally don't Janis: you don't fuck with him? Grace: idk he's like really shy or whatever Grace: that was the first time I'd ever talked to him & vice versa so Janis: okay, well Mia banged him last night Janis: we saw her going in his room Grace: EW Grace: poor Craig Janis: yeah Janis: where is he Janis: she eat him afterwards, like 🕷 Grace: 🐍 like Grace: ugh he was cute Grace: RIP 🙏 Janis: anyway, thought I'd say 'cos obviously did it to 💔 you so naturally act the opposite to piss her off Janis: we got 📸s Grace: 🙄 duh I am the opposite, he hit me up & I said no thanks, I have the 🗨 Janis: ha Janis: send me that Grace: [does] Janis: 👍 Janis: always handy to have Grace: yeah Janis: not ready yet but can preview it when I'm done Grace: not sure I wanna 👀🍿 her snatching that sweet boy's virginity but thanks Janis: she weren't that careless Janis: thankfully Janis: you'll 👀 Grace: 👌👌 Janis: How's Els? Grace: UM why? What did you do? Janis: Nothing Janis: she fell on her arse, did she not Grace: Oh that Grace: it was no worse than when Asia dropped your bf Grace: how's your ankle? Janis: If I didn't know how thick she was, assume Mia put her up to it Janis: it's annoying Janis: need it to be better for when we get back Grace: literally so many 🐕🐩 to walk, what would you even do? Janis: exactly, can make loads in holidays, those 7 hours free really add up Grace: I'd offer to help but so can I 👶🍼 Janis: I'll survive Janis: take one of Billie's old chairs if necessary, get them to pull me along Grace: 😂😂 Grace: ask Mia what shifts barista boy is down for, maybe he can help Janis: in theory worth it Janis: but she'd probably be weirdly smug about her knowing instead of me Grace: true, just ask him Grace: 🤞💜 Janis: ain't sharing my pay Grace: he'd totally do it for free cos he's SO 😍😍😍 Janis: yeah yeah Janis: that'd fade well fast when faced with 6am and dog shit Grace: Hello?! He gets up earlier than that to serve ☕ and clean bathrooms Janis: we've all got very glamorous lives Grace: 🙄🙄 Grace: HIGHKEY should tell Craig to get tested but like I don't want him to think I'm 💔 Grace: ugh Janis: slip a 📝 under his door Janis: - a concerned citizen Grace: so retro Grace: love it Grace: idk if I even have any paper?? Janis: we have to do some exit survey bullshit don't we Grace: do we? Grace: EW Janis: mhmm, already planning my constructive criticism, obvs Grace: @ Mr Lucas what are you even doing here?! SO GROSS Janis: pretty sure he's following me Janis: fair, did cut the two spare ties he brought (??) in half Grace: OMG! you've literally saved someone's life tbh Grace: he's that creepy Janis: reckons we've got full term detention when we get back Janis: so sorry I foiled your plan, definitely wanna spend more alone time with you, sounds good Grace: 🙄🙄 Grace: so sorry you're short & gross & single & mad about it, hun Janis: if mum actually makes me go, it'll be my 🩸 on his 🧤 and her 🤲 Grace: she won't even Grace: not for that long Janis: 🤞 Janis: if all he cares about are the holes in all his 🩲 and not finding out what else I did, then she won't be as pissed off as she could be Grace: what else did you do?? Grace: also EW for that visual, babes Janis: 🤫 Janis: you didn't have to touch 'em Grace: you've literally made it even easier for him to touch himself, excuse you Janis: 😂😂 Janis: 📸 that for the online burn book Grace: can he get enough hate to retire please?! so over what a freak he is Janis: ain't we all Grace: maybe he won't be able to take us for any more activities thanks to the wardrobe malfunctions you caused 🤞🤞 Grace: 🙏 Janis: could be his day CANCELLED 👌🍆💦🥴 Grace: STOP Grace: I don't wanna see 🍆💦 applied to him EVER Janis: it'll stop him being so 🤬🤬 on the bus Grace: the breakfasts here are literally gross enough the 1st time around, can you not make it come back up!! Janis: yeah, pretty rough Janis: that'll be why the gals have been skipping, yeah 😏 Grace: 🙄 Grace: Don't even, she wants me to Grace: I don't have the energy to fight with her about it even after eating, sorry not sorry, babes Janis: no wonder she's taken to spreading STIs Janis: wanna take out as many people as she can, that one Grace: idk what goes through her head, 1st barista boy, now Craig Grace: thank god if I was actually 😍 she'd clearly have no idea Janis: he's not the worst looking Grace: barista boy? DUH Grace: we all see your 😍😍😍 hun Janis: I meant Craig and you know it Grace: like I said, he was cute Janis: shame he's now 50% likely to have the clap Grace: I'll write him that note, it's been forever since I did a good deed Grace: 🙏😇 Janis: nan be 💃 Grace: maybe now she'll love me 🤞🖤 Janis: she loves no one but dad and the LORD Janis: allegedly on that last one Grace: as far as she's concerned they were basically the same person so Janis: where was his dad, tbh Janis: maybe he was 1/3 Janis: 2/3 now Janis: 👶🏾👻 Grace: 🤷 Janis: she'll ask the lady at church who can talk to spirits, that's what she was on about to mum last I heard Janis: gonna stay in touch now he's dead, clearly Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Grace: I won't be taking Craig to 🙏 his STI away then Janis: cute date idea Grace: IKR?! Grace: so tragic that we'll both have to miss out Janis: 💔 be a trip to the clinic with Mia instead Grace: more like a solo trip Grace: she's already forgotten that boy Janis: poor, poor David Janis: what fond memories is he gonna have looking back Grace: 🐍🐁 Grace: but that's a v relatable mood, this trip has been the WORST Janis: has it? Grace: not for you, obvs Janis: just remembering that one where you pissed yourself and then cried the whole time Janis: it's at least one up on that Grace: EXCUSE YOU Grace: literally don't bring up that you've ever known me, thanks so much Janis: there's no selling that storyline, sadly Grace: there so is Janis: the name's a dead giveaway Grace: & it still wouldn't be the wildest rumour ever spread Janis: reality is boring in comparison to what they can cook up Grace: duh Janis: go ahead and have a go then Grace: 🤷🤷 there's enough rumours about you & your bf rn Grace: it'd get swallowed faster than poor Craig 💔 Janis: what's the best one you heard then Grace: they're literally all so cringe Janis: go on Grace: 🙄🙄 Grace: no thanks Janis: 🎈🎉💩 Grace: it's bad enough I have to 👀 you IRL I'm not trying to gossip in 🗨 too Grace: try Mia or El Grace: they can't get over your 💖 life Janis: 'course they can't Janis: 💔💔 real devastated Grace: mhmm Janis: Ella should be buzzing Janis: but seeing Mia 😢 makes her 😭 Grace: she's too 💔 her fake injury didn't work & yours is real Janis: she can have it Janis: fucking stupid Janis: if this trip weren't a waste of time before Grace: you should totally forget about doing whatever if you wanna get better for hols Janis: doing what? Janis: it's not like we've done anything that taxing Grace: sure but anyway Janis: I can't spend any more time doing nothing Grace: like you said, we already are Janis: you know what I mean Grace: yeah Janis: maybe we'll go do something else Janis: idk Grace: you've got like the perfect excuse not to be under Mr Lucas' 👀 so Janis: I do, might make him join in though Janis: 'cos he hates us Janis: and then I just get bored Grace: OMG stop giving me gross visuals Janis: ?? Grace: anything involving him is like traumatising Grace: he needs to stay on the side lines, thank you Janis: bit harsh Janis: he's northern, not a monster Grace: 😂 but not even Janis: 😏 Grace: whatever Grace: it'll be over soon Janis: the trip? Janis: well observed Grace: duh not gonna kms over breakfast Janis: thought you meant my 💘 Grace: Mia wishes Grace: everyone else will obvs be 💔 Janis: give 'em a good thing Grace: they have so many #s and there'll be more when you dump him Grace: it'll keep everyone busy no matter how many boys she 🐍 and obvs me the freedom to 😢 and wet myself on this trip too so Grace: love that Grace: thanks, babes Grace: 🙌💜🙌 Janis: sounds like a wild time Janis: you are welcome Grace: sure Janis: enjoy your watersports, like Grace: 👌👌

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Grace

Janis: What's this I hear about a bitch fight, like? Grace: ugh can you NOT please Janis: Is it true though Grace: it wasn't a fight okay I just lost my chill like Grace: moving on Janis: 💔 Janis: shame Janis: what happened then Grace: I don't wanna talk about it Janis: I mean I'd ask her but she ain't responding either Janis: very unlike Mia Grace: I didn't hit her that hard but sure Grace: she'll be watching a tutorial for like fake bruises or whatever obvs Grace: make me look worse Janis: again, gutted Janis: but seriously Janis: why'd you finally lose it with the bitch Grace: ask Pablo Janis: ? Janis: what's he got to do with it Grace: while you were getting with barista boy on the school trip they were also hooking up at some party Janis: no way Janis: what the fuck Grace: he didn't even try & deny it Grace: I literally can't with either of them Janis: Jesus Janis: kinda wish I didn't know now Janis: 🤢 Grace: UM yeah same Grace: but she just had to tell me cos I was dealing with a lot that wasn't about her Janis: well yeah Janis: sitting on that one 'til the best time Janis: cow Janis: should've hit her hard, I'd have shown you Grace: I'm not trying to get sued babes Grace: & it wasn't like I decided to hit her or anything Janis: wouldn't waste a court's time with that shite Janis: daddy not trying to get done for wasting resources really Janis: did think Pablo had better taste, tbh Janis: well, not really but you know Grace: Ew don't call him daddy Grace: I can't even be angry right Grace: I should've just kept crying like I always do Janis: Come on Janis: smacking her ones the best thing you ever did Janis: felt good, yeah? Grace: you'd have done it better Janis: still can, like Janis: have to be a decent apology for that Janis: 💰💰💰 at least Grace: if you do, vlog it & send me the footage Grace: I can't be here Grace: I literally have to leave Janis: where are you gonna go? Grace: idk Grace: I can't think rn Janis: You at home? Grace: obvs not they all think I'm mental there Grace: this isn't gonna help Janis: Hardly Janis: she deserved it Janis: how long do you need Janis: away, like Grace: if I'm freaking out now it'll be worse when she retaliates so ????? Grace: & when school starts Grace: OMG LITERALLY WHAT AM I GONNA DO? Janis: Calm down Janis: okay, you'll be fine Janis: contrary to her word being law in your circle, no one actually gives a fuck what she says Janis: anyway Janis: you said you have loads of shit on her, right? Grace: everyone needs to stop telling me to calm down Grace: you don't even understand Grace: she knows as much about me Grace: this is so bad Janis: exactly Janis: so if she's got any brains, she won't be spreading it Janis: if you don't move, she can't, yeah Grace: but I did Grace: I literally hit her Janis: you don't do things like that, you lot Janis: you didn't post anything about her or her and Pablo, did you Grace: I don't want anyone knowing that ever happened, why would I? Janis: see, wouldn't that be much worse Janis: to her Janis: how you lot operate Janis: she'll make up some story about why you hit her, if she chooses to go for that angle Janis: but she knows you've got all the real shit if she's gonna try anything else Janis: stalemate Grace: Yeah, I guess Janis: I'm sure Janis: school'll be fine Grace: UM how?? it's already rubbish & now I've got no one Janis: join the club Janis: just show up, do your lessons Janis: go town on your lunch break Janis: easy Grace: You've got your bf Grace: don't do him like that Janis: I didn't before, did I Janis: never mind just last term Grace: you didn't want one before Janis: no lad at that school, maybe Grace: I'm gonna have to get one now Grace: ugh Grace: 🙏🙏 there's some party tonight or something Janis: how's that the solution Grace: to not being alone? well duh Grace: who's single rn? 🤔🤔🤔 Janis: 🙄 honestly Grace Grace: excuse you Grace: I'm trying to be pro-active here Janis: you've lost your friend not girlfriend Janis: that's what you should be aiming for Grace: she was my friend for like 10 years, most of my relationships don't last 10 days Grace: I obvs can't just find a new bestie Janis: you can try Janis: that's what you want Janis: what boyfriend has ever been good company Grace: yeah cos she was so good for me Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: not the kind of good I meant Janis: a lad ain't gonna chat about reality telly with you and reapply lippy in the loos Grace: a gay one maybe Janis: if you want a gay bff you go for it Janis: bit problematic but sure we can let it slide Grace: all I actually need is someone whose arm I can be on in the halls & whatever Grace: boys are easy to get Grace: easier than friends anyway Janis: alright Janis: if you say so Grace: duh then I can say I dumped my friends for my man Janis: well they are your friends Janis: so they'll know you haven't Grace: no-one else will tho Janis: I'm not sure anyone else will be too concerned Grace: rude Janis: why? Janis: it's the truth Janis: not like the entire school is on the edge of their seat every time you two fall out Grace: obvs they are too busy watching you & your boy Grace: that doesn't make me utterly irrelevant thank you Janis: why are you getting offended Janis: it's not a performance Janis: just do what you want Grace: Oh sure Grace: I told you idk how to be different Janis: it's a good chance Janis: you've got a couple of days Janis: don't be rash, like Grace: I'm so not ready to just like overhaul my life excuse me Janis: it's shit, right Janis: what do you actually have to lose Grace: I told you on that school trip, if I try & I'm still the worst, what then? Janis: go back to faking it with vigor Janis: no one will know, like Grace: I will Grace: & you since it's your suggestion Janis: who am I telling Janis: not even a good secret Grace: ugh Grace: I'm freaking out, I can't commit to anything if it's not a detox, babes Grace: & even then Janis: boyfriend probably ain't the one then Janis: it's what Janis: 7 weeks if you wanna survive the first term Janis: maybe more? Grace: OMG don't Janis: Hell that's only half term, even Janis: then that'll end and it's more drama Janis: don't need that Grace: that's like 7 boys I need to find Janis: you can't just line 'em all up Grace: tragically Janis: could always transfer Grace: do you think mum and dad will let me? Janis: I wasn't being serious but they probably would Janis: just say Mias shoved your head down the bog Grace: EW Grace: did work for Nancy though so Grace: devastated I can't go to Chelsea Janis: mm did it Janis: she did try to fuck her special ed teacher Grace: Oh yeah Grace: & she wasn't even cute Grace: awks Janis: 🙄 Janis: and her twin has ended up inbreeding so don't reckon much to his fine education tbh Grace: Maybe I should hook up with Mia's dad Janis: don't be grim Grace: He's not hot but he is rich Janis: only relevant if you marry him Janis: and her mum is still very much alive and you'd have to last a while to be written in Janis: if ever Grace: I probably look too young for him to be 😍😍😍 anyway Grace: I'll hit him up post surgery if I'm still bitter Janis: you know people have surgery to look younger Janis: what kind of surgeon you found that's gonna make you a grandma Grace: 😂😂 Janis: I mean you will anyway Janis: your desired aesthetic ends up looking Donatella Versace when the filler starts to drop out Grace: gross Janis: He'll defs have a secretary he's banging, they always do Janis: just send a confession to her house and watch the fireworks, like Grace: that's a secret I already know, babes Grace: Mia caught him forever ago Janis: awh Janis: she does have a 💘 Grace: she has an even bigger allowance cos of too Janis: 'course Janis: got that to look forward to, Venus Janis: pretend to be her and tell then, even more trouble Grace: Do you want me to change or not? Janis: no one said you need to be a nun about it Janis: and if you ain't up for round 2 Grace: Yeah okay Janis: Seriously Janis: you don't need to worry Grace: it's fine for you, you don't care what anyone says or thinks or does Janis: yeah Janis: well she's a cunt Janis: why let her get to you Grace: it's not like I want her to Grace: she just does Janis: had 10 years to perfect it, I guess Grace: mhmmm Janis: don't mean you need another 10 Janis: fake that it doesn't get to you, like you said Grace: idk if I even can but sure Janis: why not Janis: you fake everything else, right Grace: & everyone's seeing through it rn Janis: doesn't have to be a bad thing Grace: Pablo called me mental & he got with Mia Janis: Pablo calls everyone and everything mental Janis: his vocab is lacking along with his brain, like Grace: 😂 Janis: doubt he was aiming for a soul-reaching read Janis: just a moody twat, yeah Grace: it's so okay for boys to have moods like it just makes them look hotter if anything but if a girl our age does anything she's mental Grace: is anyone in this fam calling him out for sleeping with girls at parties he says he doesn't know, no just me getting slutshamed Janis: that's misogyny, kid Janis: and I'm sure we're all very disappointed with him for it, like Janis: but as you said, everyone's seeing through you rn so Grace: my feet hurt I can't even run away Grace: I'm putting my coffee cup on the ground & giving up Grace: throw some euros in it if you come this way Janis: if you come here you can earn 'em and think about something else for a bit Grace: ?? Janis: we wanna go out Janis: the kid already knows you so come watch him for a few hours, yeah Janis: better hiding place than wherever you've got to Grace: before I say yeah, is his sister there too? Janis: I can assure you she'll be out as soon as she gets the chance Grace: Okay Janis: she's like Gus' age Janis: she can take care of herself Grace: as long as that's the only way she's like Gus Janis: 😏 Janis: bit rude but yeah Grace: oh come on, he's a lot Janis: 😂 and you're not Grace: that's why I can say it duh Janis: so is that a yeah or what Grace: I'm omw Janis: good stuff Grace: I need to fix my makeup first so Janis: so you'll be five hours Janis: come on Grace: Shut up Grace: I can't do it in a moving car, I'll look worse than I do now Janis: as long as you aren't rocking a 🤡 look I don't think the kid will mind Grace: you and the love of your life will still have to let me in Grace: what are you wearing? am I gonna have to be fake nice about it Janis: it's cool, he doesn't think you're nice, like Janis: told him what a bitch you are, obvs Grace: thanks babes Janis: any time 🖤 Grace: 💜 Janis: anyway, you'd be here for it Grace: Yeah? Janis: it's stupid Janis: had to dress up 'cos not fully sure where we're going so Grace: that's soooo cute Janis: alright Janis: that's enough Grace: I didn't even start Grace: so mean Janis: I know Grace: Do you want me to do your makeup? Janis: I don't think we'll have time Janis: takes an age don't it Grace: for me cos I have problem areas Grace: it wouldn't take like any time to do yours Janis: okay go on Janis: but we can't make him wait forever so it really does have to be speedy Grace: OMG really?? Grace: I promise, like 10 mins Janis: 👌 Janis: why not Grace: yay Janis: love the enthusiasm, babe Grace: Babes, if you could see me rn Grace: 🙌💜🙌 Grace: but if I get too excited I'll never get there Janis: I know it's shit Janis: but she's been shit for a long time Grace: & I know that Janis: yeah Janis: well Bobby will be happy to see you Grace: duh it's totally mutual Grace: he's a babe Janis: shame you can't take him to school 💕 Grace: he isn't a 🐶 I can't just put him in my 👜 hun Janis: think this one is too big for that and all Janis: 'less you're going really hard Grace: OMG has he got a big scary dog! 😱😱 Grace: one of my exes had one that was like Grace: so evil Janis: no Janis: it's just not a rat dog Janis: and it's nice just a bit excitable, only a puppy, like Grace: 🙏🙏 Grace: thank god Janis: just walked it so it should be chill-ish Janis: [sends pic 'cos god knows I have enough] Grace: ask him if I can steal it for school 😍 Janis: 😏 probably say yes Grace: that's so happening then Janis: you so don't need these bad influences in your life Janis: do you reckon mum used to put Ri in her school bag Grace: obvs have her strapped to the front & all her books in a backpack Grace: if I had a baby I could get away with leaving school though, I'll think about it Janis: behave Grace: I need to find the hottest boy ever first Grace: so it'd be cute Janis: shut up Janis: anyway Janis: don't always work Janis: look at Drew and Ro's kid Janis: weird looking thing, they're both attractive enough Grace: is she though? Janis: thought you'd tell me off for being mean Janis: she could be, if she wasn't dying, like Grace: never seen her when she wasn't so it's too hard to tell Janis: 💔 Janis: must be Mia's GP Janis: doling out the advice Grace: I'll book myself in ASAP Janis: like you said Janis: not a look, is it Grace: neither's this Grace: whatever I don't have the commitment Grace: stopped making myself throw up forever ago Janis: did you? Grace: it's like really hard to do Grace: someone should PSA that Janis: along with all the reasons not to, yeah Janis: reckon there's been a couple of films and docs on it Grace: it has its upsides too obvs, how I get any lads to date me Janis: you can shut up now Janis: didn't need to hear about Pablo jumping Mia's bones Janis: don't need to hear about you Grace: you just wanna hear about my bulimic past instead Grace: 🙄🙄 Janis: um I didn't ask you about that either Grace: you literally just did Grace: but fine Janis: what did you want me to say Grace: whatever I don't need an intervention for that so Janis: alright Grace: where's his dad? He's not gonna like come back & freak out that I'm watching his kid, like who am I, is he? Janis: nah he's on a date of his own Janis: if he came back early, just give me a call, like Grace: Gross Grace: 👌👌 Janis: he is Grace: I bet he's hot though, son like that Janis: old men are so not your thing Janis: don't need to go down that route, tah Janis: and he's not Janis: like he could've been but he's well past it Grace: tragic Grace: I wonder if his mum is pretty Grace: they could've been like couple goals forever ago Janis: long as you keep your speculating to yourself Grace: obvs I'm not that stupid Grace: or mean Janis: just saying Janis: it is really messed up Janis: wonder where she is Grace: did he tell you anything? Janis: they don't know anything Grace: Oh Grace: poor Bobby Janis: I know Janis: still Janis: Jim looks after him really well Grace: yeah he talked about him like non-stop at the fair Grace: it's nice that they have each other Janis: it is Janis: hard for him sometimes though Grace: obvs he can't just do whatever he wants Grace: unless I'm babysitting Janis: and with his job Janis: we're spoilt brats, like Grace: maybe I'll get one Grace: keep me busy Janis: I'd like one Janis: but I'd definitely throw coffee over people like you so Janis: gotta think Grace: rude but v true Grace: there's like lots of stuff at the sports centre you could do Janis: 😏 Janis: yeah maybe Janis: not the worst idea Grace: I'm mostly fake stupid Janis: leave that off the job applications Grace: idk what I'd even apply for anyway so Janis: you could do anything retail Grace: they want girls who look good in the clothes Janis: you do, you daft cow Grace: on like 1 day out of 7 Grace: I can't maintain that much gym time Janis: 🙄 Janis: alright, you could be a teasgirl in a salon or something Grace: maybe but lots of girls wanna do that Janis: yeah but every job gets more applicants than it needs Janis: worth a shot, if you wanna Grace: sure Janis: work on your resume later though, yeah Janis: on the clock here Grace: I'll make dad do it Janis: hasn't he got catering to be planning Grace: okay fine mum then Janis: surely she has a lovely big 👒 to buy Grace: yeah but we'll fit it around the shopping trips duh Janis: 🙄 Janis: gross Grace: you don't have to come, babes Janis: made it pretty clear I won't be Grace: yeah Janis: you know anyone who'd want some meth, like Grace: that's not funny thank you Janis: it ain't Janis: made a right dent in my back pocket, like Grace: so you better start job hunting Janis: I'll find a buyer Grace: Janis Janis: what Grace: you can't sell drugs Janis: not gonna make it my career Grace: just throw it away Grace: it's freaking me out that you even still have it Janis: not gonna waste it Janis: it's fine Grace: OMG how is it fine??! Grace: you could get murdered Janis: not for this much Janis: didn't go that crazy Grace: people get killed for their phones Janis: alright after school special Janis: worry 'bout yourself then, never off yours, you'd be fucked Grace: excuse me for not wanting you dead Grace: & I dropped mine so it is Janis: unlucky Janis: excuse to say you've lost all their numbers though Grace: that was obvs my plan not just a clumsy bitch 🙄🙄 Janis: 👌 Janis: less believeable than you getting a boy to stick for 7 weeks but we'll roll with it Grace: UM rude Grace: it's 7 boys, lasting a week Janis: 😏 7 dickheads for the price of 1, whatever Grace: even I can keep a boy for a week Janis: the real questions Grace: it's not a q, I can Janis: LOL Grace: stop being a bitch & let me in Janis: finally Grace: ILY too babes Janis: yeah yeah Grace: & you're so welcome 💜 Janis: shut up I'm coming as fast as I can alright Grace: it's literally raining btw Janis: let's hope dickhead ain't planned a picnic Grace: 😂😂 Grace: 💔

[punkscowardschampions]

Ali & Tommy

Ali: okay I need Ali: like fucking Ali: total seriousness from you right now Ali: can you handle that Tommy: whoa Tommy: alright yeah Tommy: unless you're preggo I ain't keeping that to myself for the next 9 like Ali: god no Ali: i know you're gay as hell so the birds and the bees don't worry you none but if anything you should KNOW that means I'm good right now Ali: but this is going to sound like as much of a joke Ali: but it ain't, yeah? Tommy: what you and your girlfriend do or who ain't none of my business but obviously we ain't here for that, are we? Tommy: I'm sitting down, go for it Ali: sure, sure, I'll make you go red later Ali: preferably when I can see/laugh but no, it ain't so Ali: fuck Ali: so this is weird like Ali: beyond Ali: you know Joe finally made an apperance here yeah Tommy: you're scaring me, Kat Tommy: unless he came out I don't reckon I'm ready to hear this Ali: I can't say if that's unwarranted or not, like Ali: soz Ali: basically, he came to me for a drugs hookup Ali: like, that's what the fuck weird enough but you know Ali: do you Ali: so I sent him to Drew, you know, Meena's brother? Ali: he deals now Ali: and then he hit me back up and shit Ali: you gotta tell me if this is some kinda sick joke but the boy sounded deadly serious, like HE was scared Ali: he said Joe asked for heroin, Tommo Tommy: nah nah he's gotta have it twisted Tommy: like he's pretty so he don't have to be the smartest, yeah Tommy: it'll be like a bad brain day so he needed to go harder than his prescription maybe but Tommy: not that fucking hard Ali: I wanna think that but Ali: he looked sick, Joe Ali: and idk how they could've had that miscommunication like smack is smack it's not like, nah I want this type of pill not that Tommy: probably got his slang fucked up Tommy: he's like an old man you know Tommy: sometimes Ali: he ain't that green Ali: fucking hell, even Ro could list a few names for it Ali: I literally do not know what to do Ali: because as soon as he came back, basically Ali: he's gone Ali: said his uni friend was in a car crash or some bullshit Ali: maybe it ain't but the timing reeks of it Tommy: fuck Tommy: this is so bad Tommy: did they see him, ma or da? Ali: nope, mum was taking rocky to the park or some shit whilst dad did the shop so they're all due back any time and I've gotta pass on the message Ali: minus the drugs, presumably Ali: what the fuck Tommy: don't say shit to them Tommy: she'll fucking Tommy: alright, where are Bea & Fraze like right now? Ali: idk Ali: not here, he waited long as he could to sneak out like he was never here Ali: should I tell them Ali: I swear to God I ain't got no wires crossed Ali: I've got all the messages from Drew, it's black and white so unless he's a real mentalist and just taking the piss Tommy: you deffo ain't that green & jesus all signs really are pointing to proper smackhead Tommy: Meena's brother's loads of things but I don't reckon he'd go this hard just to get your attention Tommy: no shade honey Ali: my thoughts exactly Ali: unless he's one of those people who's ultimate fantasy is to be murdered and I'm the master criminal for the job Ali: it just isn't something you lie about, unless you're totally cracked in the head yourself Tommy: we can kink shame him later like Tommy: but you gotta hit up the IT couple with this Tommy: I can try & talk to Joe but a screen's easy to ignore if you ain't shooting up heroin so I dunno reckon my luck's out Ali: I don't even know what the hell he's gonna say Ali: but I can't just Ali: sweep that one under the rug, can I Ali: Joe was like, gone, and not in a this is a bad brain day way like a Ali: I don't know Ali: let's say there was no putting the kettle on and convincing him to stay 'til the 'rents were back, like Tommy: we can't just Tommy: I'm here for this Tommy: and you can say like a skaghead Tommy: might have to Ali: fuck Ali: how Ali: why Tommy: I dunno Tommy: who's he with Tommy: what's he do Tommy: who the fuck is he Tommy: what's he playing at Ali: all valid questions but who knows Ali: none of us Ali: it was so easy to say like, 'don't blame him' when he didn't come home ever but Ali: it's weird, we're taking like any possible excuse not to be here Tommy *~ Yeah Tommy: do you want me to come back? Ali: no Ali: you should stay there Ali: if there's an intervention I'll buy you a ticket Ali: god knows you can't be missing out on that drama Ali: but realistically Ali: you know this family, what's getting done Tommy: cheers Tommy: but you ain't told Fraze yet, you know he's done crazier than get on a plane to start shit Ali: true Ali: Jesus Tommy: if throw us & the lovebirds in a group chat that's the best it can go Tommy: she'll calm him down Ali: I truly hate this family Tommy: you & me both, Kit Tommy: Drew isn't gonna say shit is he? Ali: I don't think he would Ali: like what's he got to gain from that Tommy: like don't tell your girlfriend I said so but use your feminine wiles if you have to, yeah? Tommy: if ma finds out about this it's gonna properly wreck her Ali: that's why I'm kinda glad he left 'cos it was fucking obvious Ali: but still, what are we gonna do Ali: lock him in a cupboard legit, let him out when he's ready to behave Tommy: she lost it enough over you all summer no way she can handle this Ali: are you saying I should've done smack Ali: got my moneys worth like Tommy: I'm not not saying it Tommy: fucking hell Ali: ah a summer of regrets Ali: seriously Ali: I wanna puke Tommy: you had the best time Tommy: but summer's well and truly over now Tommy: should we pray to sexy Jesus or what Ali: yeah, put down the needle, Joe Ali: it can't hurt, we're in theory catholics so Ali: say sorry and he'll do anything for us Tommy: so out of my depth with this Tommy: this school is well straight edge and there's no religious imagery anywhere Ali: 'cos real rockstars don't go stage school, babe 💔 Ali: maybe he was just gonna smoke it? ehhh Ali: literally the best consolation I've got for any of 'em right now Tommy: I don't wanna be a rockstar honey, that's you Tommy: maybe it was for a 'friend' lol Ali: don't Ali: if he asked drew for a condom too we'd have to dash to the airport like it's love actually Tommy: I wouldn't make that boy use protection but enough about me Ali: THOMAS Ali: behave Ali: this is so serious Tommy: I'm sorry but I'm not used to the kind of gay panic where I'm a gay just panicking like Ali: if you could send me a video of you flapping your limp wrists about, so I know it's real, tah Tommy: least I can do Tommy: I'm really fucking scared, you know Tommy: like, it's Joe Ali: me too Ali: I'm not trying to be a hypocrite but it's fucking heroin Ali: like how are we at defcon1 Tommy: he's not gonna die, yeah? That's only a just say no tactic, right? Tommy: like its not cut with rat poison anymore or Tommy: whatever the fuck Ali: I mean Ali: it's a risk with all drugs but like Ali: you kill off too many punters you get a rep so let's hope his shit is clean-ish Ali: and he knows how to dose Ali: though how the fuck this is even a conversation we're having about JOE Ali: just Tommy: that's a point what did Goldilocks give him 'cause I know he ain't stocking that Tommy: ma would've kneecapped him if he was dealing that hard Tommy: shit Tommy: I dunno Tommy: how is this our real life Ali: he said, Drew, this is, that he just gave him benzos Ali: but it sounded like he got like 50 which he surely did not go through before he left Ali: so he's either got on a fucking plane with 'em or he's left an emergency stash here Ali: do I check his room like that paranoid mother or Tommy: 50 like 5 0 Tommy: Christ almighty Tommy: yeah you should before you tell Fraze Ali: like that's a months worth Ali: idk why he'd get that many just to see him through, even if Drew was being a dick and seeing how much money he could get Ali: probably wiped out his supply of, like Ali: I will Ali: watch me get the blame for them, hope he's written his name on like it's houmous in the fridge or something Tommy: this is so fucked Tommy: how big is his bastard habit Tommy: like I can't Ali: you don't think Ali: oh God oh God Ali: is he online rn hold on Tommy: you think he's Tommy: shit Ali: I'll phone him fuck this Ali: and I'm telling Fraze like, right fucking now Tommy: you have to Tommy: if it's Tommy: we're out of time Ali: okay shit, I'll stay on here to you so you ain't left in the dark but I am also on it Tommy: yeah alright Ali: [a while but not forever] Ali: made him facetime me and he was at the airport, like he said Ali: basically, there's a 'fuck school is nearly here' party so he got that many for it and he reckons 'cos he's got a prescription for 'em, he just filled up his empty box and no one's gonna know, he'd gone through so like Ali: he had got away with that Ali: he seemed more with it, genuine Ali: I dunno Ali: I wasn't getting 'phone the ambulance now' vibes from him, it was reassuring, I wouldn't bullshit you on that Ali: not when it could be so bad Tommy: fucking prick Tommy: I thought like Tommy: thank god Ali: I know Ali: he was having a fucking coffee like Ali: I don't reckon you'd go spend your last in a fucking airport, even if you were done with life Tommy: bleak wouldn't be the word Tommy: next time I see him he's dead though Ali: seriously Ali: there's still the heroin issue but Ali: at least he's not actively killing himself like right this second Tommy: are we 100% that Drew's not just a really really shitty dealer Tommy: like did he say heroin Tommy: I'm grasping at straws and I fully hear myself but Ali: sadly I don't think he's hearing the H bomb just to say he ain't got any Ali: if he had a load to shift, I'd buy it Ali: but Ali: not buy it buy it Ali: this isn't a convoluted cry for help Tommy: don't make me laugh right now Ali: soz Ali: I can't help being such a natural comedic talent Tommy: yeah yeah genius we know babe Ali: gotta milk it whilst I'm still a kid Ali: the shine really gonna dull when I hit 16 Tommy: I'm sure your girlfriend is living for your prodigy status Tommy: I'm beating the boys off (yeah also a euphemism bye) & its only hard work Ali: good for your art, I'm sure Tommy: good for me Tommy: sod my art Ali: sorry Ali: I'll be happy for you when I'm coming down from my heart attack Ali: I am Tommy: me too Tommy: no worries Tommy: we can celebrate me being a hoe any other time Ali: we will 💚 Ali: thanks for not letting me/Joe die alone though Tommy: come down one weekend with your love interest Tommy: I promise to make it super but not intimidatingly gay Tommy: kinda my thing Ali: 'sounds good man Ali: maybe Halloween, bet you do some mad gay shit Tommy: 'course Tommy: Ali, you know I love you, yeah? Tommy: like being dramatic is also my thing but I mean Ali: 'course I do Ali: I can put you down as having me as favourite too, yeah? Ali: say it back if so Tommy: obviously Tommy: Rock's cool but he can't hang like you so Ali: get in Ali: 'til his bed time is past 8pm he can suck it Ali: love you too Tom-tom Tommy: I'd love to go to bed at 8 sometimes Tommy: this school is fucking knackering Ali: I bet Ali: worth it though Ali: yeah Tommy: maybe Tommy: probably Ali: more worth it than here would be Ali: definitely Tommy: full of more fit lads definitely Tommy: at least that are out Ali: god bless Ali: can't all be turning straights Tommy: so last century Tommy: trust you to find one in the first place Tommy: everyone's got more labels than the wardrobe dept usually Ali: 😏 Ali: your bubble is gonna burst so hard man Ali: enjoy it whilst it lasts Ali: seriously Tommy: I'll blow another one it's alright Tommy: that and my own horn of course Tommy: soon as I'm out of here Ali: it's a party 🎊🎈🎆 Tommy: any and everywhere we tread honey Tommy: and you know the drill, whoever's asking I'm dancing like Ali: 👍 Ali: let you get on with all your beating now Ali: keep you in the loop vis a vis whatever the fuck is happening with this Joe thing but Ali: twiddling my thumbs 'til then so Tommy: cheers 🐱 Tommy: laters yous 💛 Ali: 💚

[punkscowardschampions]

Jimmy & Janis

Jimmy: you're gonna have to go without me & my pom poms 💔💔 Janis: what, why? Jimmy: got detention Jimmy: & I've already checked the windows, like Jimmy: no escape Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Janis: Un🍀 babe Janis: leave you alone for five minutes Janis: what you do this time then? Jimmy: I didn't even do nowt Jimmy: barely said a word to this dickhead in tech who was proper giving it to me 🙄 Jimmy: should've just smacked him if I was ending up here anyway Janis: ugh Janis: bet he ain't going detention with you either Janis: teachers are cunts Jimmy: nah they didn't even hand him one out Jimmy: like fuck am I just gonna let him chat shit about us for the full lesson Jimmy: but now Janis: it's alright Janis: mean, obvious waste of your time Jimmy: I'm gonna knock him out when I next see him Janis: fair enough, I'd say Janis: I'll watch 👍 Jimmy: front row seat to make up for the one I'm missing, yeah Jimmy: you're still gonna win for me though Janis: 'course I am Janis: can't make promises for the rest of the team, though sure they'll try their best for you 😍 Janis: other School is pretty shit tbh so Jimmy: 👍 'cause I'm still taking for drinks later too Jimmy: & I'd rather you not have to drown your sorrows, pisshead Jimmy: sort them other girls out & make 🥇 happen, babe Janis: 💪 nothing but victory drinks, swear Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: 💕 Janis: stay alive Jimmy: [later] Jimmy: got my phone back Janis: you seen it then Jimmy: been @ed by half the school Jimmy: you alright? Janis: yeah, been reporting the comments but it don't do shit, especially when it ain't even my post so Janis: are you Jimmy: don't worry, he's gonna take it down Janis: nothing even happened Janis: I swear Janis: he's just pissed off 'cos I said it ain't gonna again Jimmy: it don't matter Jimmy: it's about what's happening next Jimmy: & I'm sorting that right now Janis: it matters to me that you hear the truth from me and believe it Janis: 'cos what he's saying, and everyone else now, is bullshit Jimmy: I know that he's the lad that gave you a lift & you didn't fuck him so Jimmy: whatever happened before ain't my business Jimmy: & nowt happened today either whatever he says Janis: it really didn't Janis: I wouldn't Jimmy: 'course you wouldn't Jimmy: it's alright Jimmy: it's not but Jimmy: I'm just saying I believe you Janis: Thank fuck Janis: I felt like I was going to vom Janis: I know Mia talked to you, she took great delight in letting me know Jimmy: Less chat more shoving screenshots of his snaps at me Jimmy: so likewise Janis: he's just a prick Jimmy: I got that Jimmy: & she's just having fun pretending that you & him have been fucking behind my back this whole time Jimmy: didn't bother telling her I've been there & I'd know, not very #goals Janis: I'm sorry Janis: this bullshit Janis: they wouldn't do it to you if you weren't with me Jimmy: why, you ain't done nowt Jimmy: & I am with you Jimmy: I wanna be Jimmy: they can't do shit to change it Janis: I like you too much to put you through this shit Janis: it's so Janis: stupid Jimmy: you ain't the one being stupid Jimmy: or putting me through it Janis: yeah but Janis: I don't know Janis: just hate it Janis: them Jimmy: I know Jimmy: but he'll be one less dickhead to worry about in a sec Jimmy: I promise Janis: what you mean Janis: he's not going to delete it Janis: already asked Jimmy: yeah he is Jimmy: I'm not asking Jimmy: I'm just about to make him Janis: where are you Jimmy: If I let you know that you'll show up Jimmy: it's better if you don't, alright Janis: Jimmy Janis: I'm not gonna stop you but don't do anything stupid on my account alright Jimmy: I ain't the one who's being stupid either Jimmy: It's okay Jimmy: not my first time knocking out this exact type of dickhead Jimmy: like I said, my ex actually was fucking around on me so Janis: that's shit Jimmy: it weren't any more fun for her Jimmy: not really Jimmy: she was messed up, is still probably Janis: still Jimmy: it don't matter Jimmy: that's not this Janis: I know but everyone else is convinced so may as well be Jimmy: Nah, I ain't so it's not even close Jimmy: only thing similar is lads chatted shit on her too, never did find out how many she really got with out of the loads who said Janis: anything to boost their own rep Jimmy: it was the ones who weren't saying owt that I had to properly watch Jimmy: they just did it & left me to walk in Jimmy: literally in some cases Janis: I'm sorry Jimmy: hang on Jimmy: he's here Janis: don't get hurt okay Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: leave that for him Janis: obviously Janis: I don't give a fuck about him though Jimmy: makes two of us Jimmy: [a fight later] Jimmy: post's gone Janis: will you tell me where you are now Jimmy: tell me where you are & I'll come meet you Jimmy: not gonna hang round the scene of the crime, am I? Janis: I'm at my nan and granddad's Janis: could hardly go out and about town and fuck being home when she's gonna be there Janis: take this bus [#] Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: be there as soon as Janis: don't worry, neither of 'em is in rn Jimmy: I weren't but Jimmy: alright Janis: just mean, not gonna make you talk to my entire fam Janis: are you okay? Jimmy: I don't care who I've gotta talk to right now Jimmy: I just wanna see you Janis: they don't live as middle of nowhere Jimmy: thank fuck Janis: I know Janis: not to be that bitch but you didn't answer my question Jimmy: what Janis: are you okay? Jimmy: are you? Janis: better when I see you Jimmy: I feel that Janis: Okay Janis: are you gonna bleed on me again though or Jimmy: nah Jimmy: you're safe Janis: I'm Janis: I know it'll get old if I keep saying the S word so I won't but Janis: I wish it didn't drag up all that stuff with your ex for you Jimmy: none of that is important Jimmy: just you Janis: you Jimmy: I love you Jimmy: that won't get old if I keep saying it, will it? Janis: no Janis: I love you too so I never get tired of hearing it Jimmy: good Jimmy: 'cause you know I can't stop when I've started Janis: yeah Janis: one of the things I like about you Jimmy: even if it has fucked the 🚭 Janis: I'll allow it Janis: you promised you'll stay Janis: and you're already dead yeah Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: 👻 lad me Janis: so you can't go nowhere anyway Janis: soz ginger trying to save your soul, too late Jimmy: & I can't get hurt either Jimmy: so if any other dickheads need fighting, it's no #drama Janis: not planning to make it a thing Janis: not that I planned this Jimmy: I get it, a weekly brawl would have me too 💪 & you don't need the competition Jimmy: not planning to become an athlete though you're alright Janis: you're an idiot Janis: a lovable one but Jimmy: an idiot for getting detention Jimmy: he couldn't have pulled that shit if I were there Janis: not like you planned on being too cool for school either Janis: give out detentions for their own amusement, sadists Jimmy: always too 😎 me Jimmy: for school or anywhere Janis: gift and a curse yeah babe Jimmy: exactly Jimmy: this bus actually run or what? Jimmy: I've been stood here ages Janis: yeah, last I checked Janis: if I knew where you were I could come to you Jimmy: leave it out Jimmy: you know everyone'll be talking about it tomorrow Jimmy: let them tell you Janis: Probably shouldn't come to School Janis: reckon I'm gonna get stoned Janis: not in the chill way Jimmy: the teachers are fucking useless yeah but I ain't letting nowt happen to you Jimmy: or letting anyone think this is more than just bollocks Janis: they'll think what they wanna, and they really wanna Janis: idc Jimmy: like I told you, I'll fight whichever dickheads need to be told Jimmy: I don't care Janis: can't fight girls though can ya Jimmy: I don't need to Jimmy: you can Jimmy: or however else you wanna sort it Janis: yeah Janis: fuck knows Janis: I don't wanna have to always deal with this Janis: the lads just think I'm a slag so they can get some, whatever, makes sense Janis: they're just cunty 'cos they wanna, like alright but why bother Jimmy: I've said it before Jimmy: they're jealous Jimmy: you're hotter than them Jimmy: & good at shit 'cause you're SUCH an athlete as I'm always also saying Janis: that's so fucking stupid Janis: focus on yourselves ladies, might get something done Jimmy: tweet it girl Janis: 😂 Janis: keeping well away from social media rn tah Jimmy: 💔 but you're my muse Jimmy: bit rude Janis: no one's stopping you from being 👑 of twitter etc Janis: @ me though, can't handle another blatant subtweet or indirect Jimmy: 👌 fine Janis: what Janis: you reckon I should come running to my own defence Jimmy: I don't reckon owt Jimmy: it ain't happening to me Janis: well Janis: bit Jimmy: nah I'm the #victim if I'm in this Jimmy: my DMs are full of girls offering a shoulder to cry or cum on Janis: that's disgusting Janis: truly Janis: gonna miss your way with words Janis: but that's what I get Jimmy: you should see some of the pics I've been sent Jimmy: disgusting them Janis: no thank you Janis: not actually my thing Jimmy: I weren't asked if any of this was my thing Jimmy: but fine, I'll take one for the team Janis: I know, I know Janis: it's gross Janis: pretty bold of him to do this when I've got the dick pics, like Janis: guess enough peeps have 👀 or he's that full of himself Jimmy: probably hoping you'll show 'em about & the girls'll swoon Jimmy: dickhead Janis: 🙄 Janis: wouldn't put it past them so nah Janis: burn my phone, burn my retinas, like Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: assume Mia is licking his wounds for him as we speak Jimmy: I hurt him enough, maybe she'll actually swallow him Janis: 🙏🤞 Jimmy: who the fuck is he Jimmy: why does he think he can be this much of a bellend Janis: idk Janis: he's fit and such an athlete, obvs everyone loves him Janis: good match Jimmy: he ain't fit & I beat the shit out of him so how much of an athlete is he Janis: well you know what I mean Janis: stereotypical jock pretending his life is an american teen drama or a really low rent porn Janis: idk, the fact he was such a dickhead worked at the time Jimmy: it's your type, don't have to tell me Janis: fuck off Janis: no it ain't Jimmy: he is, I am Jimmy: that's two for two Jimmy: unless you've been hanging round with some right nerds Janis: you ain't my type either Janis: people don't actually have types do they Jimmy: you tried to tell me I do as soon as I met you Janis: yeah and look where you've ended up Janis: types are for when you wanna play it safe and be disappointed Janis: know what you're getting, even if it's a steaming pile of 💩 Jimmy: you don't have to sell me on how wrong you were, girl Jimmy: I told you back then Janis: I wasn't wrong Jimmy: you said I have a type, I don't Jimmy: what are you calling it Janis: 👌 Jimmy: nah, come on Jimmy: what are you calling it Janis: you have a type but you got 🍀 Janis: obviously Jimmy: piss off Janis: 😏 Janis: jk Janis: very unlucky Janis: 'part from the bathroom fuck, worst girlfriend ever Jimmy: apart from every fuck Jimmy: get it right Janis: please tweet that final review Janis: not all bad Jimmy: alright Jimmy: hang on Janis: erm wait until you've dumped me, dickhead Janis: and wait 'til this scandal has blown over 'fore that or they'll have it #confirmed Jimmy: you don't reckon I'm gonna have more to say after I've been fucking you forever Jimmy: bit rude Jimmy: thought I had a way with words Janis: you do Janis: that was beautiful baby Janis: please fuck me forever 💕 Jimmy: I already promised Jimmy: not gonna break it & your 💔 Janis: tah 👍 Janis: you are on the bus now though on the real Jimmy: it did show up yeah Janis: coulda told me Janis: rude Jimmy: didn't realise you needed a warning Jimmy: do you wanna countdown or what Janis: shut up Janis: too soon to be making jokes about needing time to see the last out the door Jimmy: so funny you Janis: I said it's too soon Jimmy: 👍 Janis: be my friend Jimmy: I don't wanna Jimmy: stop friendzoning me Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: okay be my boyfriend then Jimmy: I am Jimmy: who do you think you're chatting to right now Jimmy: might have the wrong convo, girl Janis: think I'd be better at this Janis: honestly Janis: rookie errors these Jimmy: tah for saying it so I don't have to kick you when you're down Jimmy: embarrassing really Janis: I'll do better next time babe Janis: promise Jimmy: yeah sort it out Janis: hey, you're hot, wanna help me cheat on my boyfriend Jimmy: not that kind of boy Jimmy: but you'll find loads of takers so don't be 💔 Janis: am a bit Jimmy: you're 💔 or you're calling me a bit of a slag Jimmy: either way, gutted Janis: I've called you a slag many a time Janis: not gonna half-arse it now Jimmy: & I've been gutted every time Jimmy: but tah for letting me know what you meant Janis: you know it's just guilt projection Janis: shameless, really Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: well that's your rep now, may as well Janis: cheers Janis: probs shit the bed a bit with him but like you said, loads of takers Jimmy: chin up, Jillian Jimmy: you've got that paddy 🍀 on your side Janis: such a charmer Jimmy: what you like about me Janis: you want a list or you just stating facts Jimmy: it's a fact Jimmy: don't wear yourself out with the list Jimmy: bet you've got loads of DMs to get through & fire sexts to write Janis: naturally Janis: I don't even know who some of these people are though Jimmy: I'd offer my services but I ain't written one for a lad before Jimmy: Barry ain't that tech savvy Jimmy: give him a ring or nowt Janis: boys are easy Janis: very visual Janis: your talent would be wasted, tbh Jimmy: that's tanked my get rich quick scheme Janis: 😕 Janis: soz Janis: start charging for your nudes instead of giving 'em away, probs Jimmy: I'll just charge every girl in my inbox for a reply Jimmy: be alright Janis: not me though Janis: mates rates right Jimmy: I'm charging you double every time you friendzone me, mate Janis: Baby Jimmy: triple when you really 💔 me Janis: when have I ever Janis: babe Jimmy: you want a list Jimmy: 'cause the bus ain't got that many more stops so tell me now Janis: that is so mean Janis: 💔 Jimmy: baby Janis: I'm too headfucked rn for your shennanigans Janis: just be here Jimmy: I really miss you Jimmy: so much Janis: I miss you more Janis: definitely Jimmy: you can't say that Janis: but I do Jimmy: you can't feel how much I miss you Janis: I wish I could Janis: I need to know that you're okay and you really do believe me Jimmy: when I get there I'll do my best Jimmy: but it's never Jimmy: all of it Jimmy: I wish I could show you that Janis: we got time Janis: right Jimmy: depends Jimmy: can we stay at your nan & granddads for a bit Janis: yeah Jimmy: then yeah Janis: I love you, you know Jimmy: I do Jimmy: & I do too Janis: no one else matters Janis: just you and me Jimmy: you're all I give a fuck about Jimmy: nowt's changed Janis: can we go somewhere Jimmy: where Janis: anywhere Janis: it doesn't have to be now, if you can't but Jimmy: I'd go anywhere with you Jimmy: any time you want Janis: I don't want us to forget Janis: that none of them, and their shit, matters Jimmy: I won't Jimmy: & I won't let you Jimmy: I just want you Jimmy: so much Janis: I fucking need you, Jim Jimmy: I need you more Jimmy: like actually Janis: I Janis: it hurts Janis: when you aren't here Jimmy: I get it Jimmy: me too Jimmy: but there's nowt keeping me away from you now Jimmy: soon as I'm off this bus we're together Jimmy: that's it Janis: nothing or no one getting in our way yeah Jimmy: I swear Janis: Good Janis: you're mine okay Jimmy: it's okay with me, yeah Janis: good Jimmy: meet me off here Jimmy: I have to see you Jimmy: I just Janis: coming Janis: let me just settle this dog, 5 minutes max Jimmy: like one 🐶💕 weren't enough Jimmy: but go on Janis: this one makes Twix look like an 😇 Janis: gonna be so glad to see her, you are Jimmy: you better make sure you see her Jimmy: that's the cheating you've really done Janis: don't think I can look her in her puppydog eyes tbh Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Jimmy: for her though not you Jimmy: you know what you did Janis: 😭 Janis: I had nowhere else to go Jimmy: save it for her, babe Jimmy: I don't need your excuses Janis: you know you wanna put in a good word for me, come on Jimmy: maybe Jimmy: if only to get her off my case Jimmy: I ain't nobody's rebound tah Janis: gotta have standards Janis: respect that Jimmy: & I told you that early on Jimmy: bit late to go back on it now Janis: you did? Janis: well it stands up Jimmy: you've forgotten? Jimmy: which one of us might have gotten smacked in the head today Jimmy: get it together, like Janis: soz I ain't memorized everything you've said Janis: only pretending to be that highkey Jimmy: crack on with it Jimmy: you've got time, nerd Janis: you gonna stop chatting so much shit or? Janis: making my life hard Jimmy: make me Janis: I am omw Jimmy: be faster Jimmy: are you even an athlete or what Jimmy: if you ain't running to me so we can film it in slo-mo it ain't #goals my love Janis: you know I just won a 🏀 before being forced on a walk of shame Janis: I'm knackered Jimmy: shit I never even asked Jimmy: sorry Janis: you're alright, safe to say no one gave much of a shit before something more #drama happened Jimmy: I did though Jimmy: I do Janis: thanks Janis: you're a good WAG Jimmy: piss off Janis: 😘 Jimmy: 😒 Jimmy: it's weird enough that you play for any school teams, don't call me a WAG too Janis: gets you out of lessons sometimes Janis: you know you wanna Jimmy: gutted I'm too 😎 Jimmy: 'cause yeah Janis: you ain't too cool to be with me Jimmy: but seriously, what team are they letting me on Jimmy: #troublemaker me Janis: sure they'll reckon it's good discipline for you then 😏 Jimmy: 🙄 'course Janis: come on Janis: I wanna see the short shorts Jimmy: 😏 Jimmy: say please & maybe Janis: I'll say it when you get here Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: but only 'cause I wanna see you so bad Janis: Good Janis: I miss you Jimmy: just Jimmy: you be here Jimmy: I Janis: thanks Janis: for being you and not Janis: believing Jimmy: what else was I gonna do? Jimmy: you're the only one I like Janis: you could've though Janis: like, convincing, give him that Jimmy: if I was gonna be like that I might as well just fuck off now Jimmy: I mean it, all of this, it's the only thing I've got Jimmy: or want Jimmy: & we're a team whether the school lets me join in or not Janis: me too Janis: promise Jimmy: if you say nowt happened then it didn't Jimmy: that's all the convincing I need Jimmy: you don't lie to me Janis: I don't Janis: and why would I Janis: I didn't feel anything when we did do stuff so Janis: pointless now Jimmy: I remember Jimmy: you said Janis: I thought that's how it was Janis: just overhyped Jimmy: I get it Jimmy: even if now I've met you I don't reckon it was hyped up enough Janis: you're Janis: why are you so nice to me Jimmy: I told you, you're nice to me Jimmy: then I'm nice back Jimmy: it's a deal Janis: I'll be nicer Jimmy: how Jimmy: you're so Janis: again Janis: I'll show you Janis: 'cos I see you now Jimmy: yeah? Janis: mhmm Janis: have you forgotten what I look like Jimmy: he didn't hit me that hard Janis: Baby Jimmy: I'm okay Jimmy: I promise Janis: I'll check Janis: 'cos I'll kill him if he has Jimmy: 🤞 he's already 💀 Jimmy: I hit him hard so Janis: he earnt it Jimmy: I don't care about him Jimmy: it's for you Janis: me either Janis: just you Janis: did it make you feel better Jimmy: a bit Janis: yeah Janis: people bullshit when they say it won't Jimmy: I only wish I could have fucked him up worse for what he did Jimmy: & what he's like Janis: don't worry, his ego is 💀 if nothing else Janis: already 😷 'cos I turned him down Jimmy: that makes me feel loads better Janis: seriously Janis: it was pretty funny 'til it weren't Janis: 😢 like Jimmy: I love you Jimmy: how could I not Jimmy: that's real #goals Janis: wish you coulda been there Janis: coulda showed him why I don't want him Jimmy: me too Jimmy: it's not just him though, you don't want anyone else, do you? Janis: no one Janis: you know it's just you Jimmy: alright Jimmy: good Jimmy: come here then Janis: ['scuse them the most intense hello ever] Jimmy: [literally would & do need several moments] Janis: [can tell she's been in a state] Jimmy: [just all the reassuring touches in the world like he would not stop even when they are trying to walk again or whatever] Jimmy: [says 'afternoon' and smiles casually but is looking at her like & like I said just touching always] Janis: [blinking 'cos her eyes are stinging 'cos a bitch don't cry but she really thought y'all had fucked this up for them] Janis: ['hey'] Jimmy: [a boy sees & knows but he's keeping it chill for her] Jimmy: ['alright?'] Janis: [nods] Janis: ['now you're here'] Jimmy: [so many kisses basically wherever he can cos he can't stop himself like some are soft and some aren't cos all the feelings bitch] Janis: [holding onto him so tight and all the ilys] Jimmy: [likewise holding onto her like they about to drown like sorry everyone else about but not cos he would not be able to stop rn] Janis: [let's get you inside lads cheers for the empty grandparents] Jimmy: [more of the same when they're in lbr] Janis: [is checking his over like she said she would but is clearly fine suck it harry] Jimmy: [literally still can't stop touching her either even though low key would get in the way of what she's trying to do] Janis: [is loling but not trying to stop him 'cos never] Jimmy: [more kisses cos it ends them when the other one laughs] Janis: [softness bitch, getting him to the sofa 'cos she just wants to hold/be held for a hot sec] Jimmy: [give them a while with all those much needed snuggles] Janis: ['you're so important'] Jimmy: ['you are'] Janis: [let's self have sneaky cry 'cos overwhelmed as hell] Jimmy: [isn't gonna make a big deal of it even if he knows so just more of the same softness & being comforting & loving like] Janis: [laying on his chest listening to his heart] Jimmy: [playing with her hair from now until forever bye] Janis: ['it's fast'] Jimmy: [nods 'I told you, I had to see you. Needed to.'] Janis: [puts his hand on her chest, 'same', cos truly] Jimmy: [imagine what the fuck his breathing would have been like too omg] Janis: [let them just be so they can just calm] Jimmy: [later, he gets up to get them both a drink not alcohol let's not be wild, it'd be cute cos he don't know where anything is but still wanna do it for her] Janis: if you just wanted to look through the cupboards, that's alright Jimmy: just seeing if they got any posh silver I can have away Jimmy: life of crime starts here Janis: by the time the inheritance is split between us all I won't get much so Janis: go for your life, babe Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: [brings her a beverage probably tea actually cos that's what english people do] Janis: ['tah'] Jimmy: [goes back to snuggling like he never left] Janis: 'you're the best boyfriend'] Jimmy: ['you're the best muse. Very inspiring.'] Janis: ['what are you thinking right now?'] Jimmy: [kisses her cos he's thinking about how much he loves her/how happy he is this isn't fucked up etc but how to say] Janis: [smiles] Janis: works for me Jimmy: [kisses her again cos the smile] Janis: are you coming back to mine tonight Jimmy: yeah Janis: [bigger smile] Jimmy: [just 😍 at her] Janis: nothing's ever gonna fuck this Jimmy: works for me Jimmy: [smiles back] Janis: promise Jimmy: are you promising or asking me if I do Janis: both Jimmy: well I do Jimmy: [sips tea but not in a shady way lol] Janis: good Janis: 'cos I like you Jimmy: I love you Janis: [pouncing for kiss be careful of the tea] Jimmy: [cue make out session they both need & deserve] Janis: we can stay home tomorrow can't we Jimmy: we can do whatever you want Janis: I don't care if people reckon I'm running or being a pussy Janis: don't wanna be there Janis: just wanna be with you Jimmy: I don't give a shit about anything but you having what you want Janis: you Jimmy: [just pulling her into her lap for cuddles like] Janis: everything is alright when you're with me Jimmy: then everything's alright Jimmy: I ain't going nowhere Janis: me either Janis: [snuggles further in to prove point] Jimmy: [keeping them like that lowkey forever]

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: Oi Janis: where are you and more importantly where's my drink Jimmy: if I could get by the orgy on the counter Jimmy: which more importantly I weren't invited to Jimmy: bit rude Janis: 💔 Janis: your appeal is so dead Janis: what a way to find out Jimmy: tah for that babe Jimmy: you did warn me I suppose but Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Janis: I'm very supportive Janis: even now you're dragging me down Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: what a pair Janis: 'scuse you Janis: how dare you imply I'm on the outs Janis: never in, bitch Jimmy: you said it so I didn't have to 💕 #truelove Janis: don't worry, beaten to the punch Jimmy: literally am being Jimmy: let me at the bowl, dickheads Janis: 😏 you're so lame Janis: and so is this party if it has an actual punch bowl Janis: where are we Janis: a sorority house in 1997 okay bethany Jimmy: piss off I'm 😎 Jimmy: as much as lad can be in his missus' clothes Janis: shut up you look good Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: you look Janis: shh Jimmy: you ain't 'bout to make me Jimmy: so nah Jimmy: I'll just be 😍😍😍 & you can't stop me Janis: boy is that a challenge Janis: will get you in trouble again today, bit late to be worried on it Jimmy: is it? Janis: I mean, you're sacked now Janis: realistically what is tiffany gonna do to top that if we ruin her party Jimmy: let's see Janis: 😈 Janis: what are we doing first then Jimmy: I'm giving you your drink Jimmy: [does] Janis: Getting drunk Janis: cool Janis: [downs it bitch why] Janis: bit normie but you know, needs must Jimmy: calm down, piisshead Jimmy: it took me ages to get that Janis: 🙄 soz I didn't know you wanted me to nurse it all night Janis: or thank you for your valiant efforts Jimmy: piss off Janis: 😏 Janis: be my friend Janis: everyone else here is the worst Jimmy: [kisses her in an extra way] Jimmy: stop friendzoning me, mate Janis: keep kissing me like that and I'll think about it Jimmy: [kisses her again but it's even better 'cause] Janis: you're so Janis: ugh Jimmy: you wanna dance? Janis: can you dance? 🤔 Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Jimmy: I've danced with you before Jimmy: you found it #unforgettable, yeah Janis: hmm Janis: maybe I was drunk Janis: that time Jimmy: you usually are, so probably Jimmy: do you wanna or nah? Janis: lovely Janis: make it sound like I have a problem Jimmy: You're a paddy, it's not a problem it's expected Janis: don't be racial 'cos I can't remember your moves Janis: come on then, face ache Jimmy: [passes her an earbud cos the song that's playing is bound to suck] Jimmy: requests? Janis: [takes his phone 'cos you know and picks the song that was on when they were in the van] Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: [dips her and kisses her cos he is a nerd] Janis: don't fucking drop me boy Jimmy: 💪 Jimmy: I won't Jimmy: [plays like he's gonna you know when people do that but doesn't] Janis: [makes like she's walking away 'cos moody] Jimmy: [pulls her back & turns into a cute spin 'round] Janis: I guess you aren't terrible Jimmy: [kisses her again but properly 'cause we know he's good at that] Jimmy: ? Jimmy: you wanna do a rewrite now or in a bit Janis: [pretends to be thinking but can't help smiling like a dork] Jimmy: [touches her little smiley mouth cos it so cute] Janis: [goes in with the sexy dancing 'cos can't deal with the affection] Jimmy: [blatantly isn't as good of a dancer 'cause indie white boy but tries his best to keep up god bless] Janis: Like this Janis: [moves his hands lower] Jimmy: [moves them a bit lower than she put them 'cause he's cheeky] Jimmy: alright Janis: 👀 you Janis: not mad Jimmy: [less like a dance and more like a dry hump probably but she won't be mad] Janis: so you're like Janis: really really okay at this Janis: concede, like Jimmy: okay isn't 🥇 Jimmy: [carries on 'cause gotta] Janis: [other people join in you know how they do and lowkey split 'em up 'cos I'm evil] Jimmy: 💔💔 Janis: 😒 Janis: not about how much crotch i can feel rn that ain't you Jimmy: hang on Jimmy: [actually does shove a prick & gets into a lil moment] Janis: [takes him outside for a smoke and so shit doesn't escalate 'cos drunk teens] Jimmy: who's idea was this? Janis: i mean Janis: not gonna hold this non-event against you Jimmy: tah Janis: know it's shit when the whole herd is out here Janis: just clocked the tall one, hard to miss Jimmy: where? Janis: [turns his head physically 'cos don't care about being rude, obvs] Jimmy: she shouldn't wear heels Jimmy: that's Janis: do you think she gets vertigo Janis: it's a madness, she just hit the light literally, I saw bitch Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: have you seen Mia? Jimmy: real questions Janis: let's go hunt Janis: split up and look for clues, scoob Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: alright, nerd Janis: i am not velma Janis: although really, who else was pulling their weight 🤔 Jimmy: Fred & Daphne were too busy fucking Janis: init though Janis: shaggy was stoned out his mind Jimmy: like your hippie brother Janis: 🙄 truly Jimmy: is the dickhead one here? Janis: 😂 Janis: sadly Janis: as loud and as bad as grace Janis: heard him and avoided Jimmy: we just need her & it's a family reunion Janis: kill me Jimmy: [sneaks up behind her & 'scares' her like boy you meant to be splitting up] Jimmy: 🗡🗡🗡 Janis: Dickhead! Janis: [but kisses though] Jimmy: I missed you too Janis: on a mission here Janis: focus Janis: if you were a basic bitch where would you be Jimmy: if I was Mia I'd be in the bathroom where she spends 99% of her time Janis: 🐸🍵 Janis: I don't think either of us can barge in Jimmy: she'll have to find prey soon 🐍 Jimmy: just wait Janis: offering me up as bait? Jimmy: do you want me to? Janis: don't you start Jimmy: how can we annoy her the most? Jimmy: start thinking 'bout that Janis: you know Janis: she's 💔 apparently so just be goals Jimmy: have to have one first Janis: that's what I said Jimmy: yeah? Jimmy: gotta stop spending so much time with you then Jimmy: [but kisses her] Janis: don't Janis: [kisses him harder 'cos] Jimmy: [whispers in her ear that he promises] Janis: I Janis: do you want a drink Jimmy: [finishes the last of his 'cause didn't down it] Jimmy: alright Janis: stay alive Janis: keep being #goals Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [Mia drama at the drinks] Jimmy: did you join the orgy? Jimmy: been ages Janis: ha Janis: she wishes Jimmy: you found her then Janis: found me Jimmy: I ain't gonna be fuming if you threw my drink over her Jimmy: a bit that I didn't see it Janis: Ain't gonna waste it Janis: she's so Jimmy: so gimme it Janis: hang on Janis: she ain't gone 😑 Jimmy: I can come get it Janis: Nah, don't Janis: I don't want her to Janis: I'll be Jimmy: what's going on Janis: she's just a bitch Janis: nothing new Jimmy: then it won't matter if I interrupt you two then Jimmy: hang on Janis: well I ain't gonna be there Jimmy: where will you be? Janis: just give me a sec Janis: okay Jimmy: alright Jimmy: come find me when you want Jimmy: I'll be outside Janis: 👍 Janis: [later] Janis: Okay, hi Jimmy: [hands her his 🚬] Janis: [takes huge drag for non-smoker oh babe] Janis: tah Jimmy: [lights up a new one for his self 'cause it's been the longest day ever & we still in it] Jimmy: 👍 Janis: Soz about that Jimmy: ain't your fault, girl Janis: why is this the worst party ever Jimmy: been that sort of day Jimmy: so come here Janis: [hiding in his chest 'cos embarrassed that Mia has got to her] Jimmy: [holds onto her for ages 'cause they just need it BITCH & is stroking her hair for her] Janis: this is so stupid Jimmy: why? Janis: 'cos she's stupid Janis: and i know that so Jimmy: it don't matter Jimmy: I know my dad's a massive bellend but Janis: but he's your Dad Janis: can't avoid him Jimmy: can't avoid her she's a #stalker Jimmy: my dad has a job Jimmy: & a missus Jimmy: see him less Janis: should I tell her to get a hobby then Jimmy: bit late for it Janis: you saying I shouldn't find her and hit her with AND ANOTHER THING Jimmy: stay with me Jimmy: I'm saying Janis: don't listen to her Janis: okay Jimmy: I don't chat to her Jimmy: I ain't starting now Janis: okay but if she comes and finds you too Jimmy: if she finds me she'll find you 'cause I ain't going anywhere without you, am I Janis: [kissing so you don't say it oh yeah] Jimmy: you're Jimmy: you know that Jimmy: don't you listen to her Jimmy: whatever the bollocks was Janis: i'm glad you're here Janis: with me Jimmy: me too Jimmy: get drunk with me Jimmy: I'll make it better Janis: [takes swig of the drink she got him] Jimmy: you can do better than that Jimmy: 🥇 yeah Janis: I got distracted Janis: not in a good way Jimmy: [kisses her so she can be distracted in a good way] Jimmy: now go on Janis: you're coming with me, aren't you Jimmy: I told you, everywhere Janis: [reaches out to hold his hand fuck you mia] Jimmy: [HAND HOLDING + kisses her again 'cause really fuck you Mia you bitch] Janis: [has drink, finds somewhere to sit him down so she can sit on him] Jimmy: [whispers 'don't forget nowt I've said, alright. You're a properly beautiful dickhead & I like you so much' when they are sat] Janis: Jim Janis: you're Janis: I'm really happy you're coming home with me Jimmy: you're Janis: I know Janis: you make me feel Jimmy: I told you, I'll make it better Jimmy: I want to Janis: you have Janis: i already don't care but Janis: more Janis: please Jimmy: [cue make out sesh cos she said please & it kills him] Janis: i wanna make this night better for you too Janis: tell me how Jimmy: you have Jimmy: but I need to touch you more Jimmy: come upstairs Janis: [does, hope all y'all bitches see 'em] Jimmy: [after & let's say drunk Grace has entered the party with her shit 'ex' enjoy that Mia I'm sure you will] Janis: shame don't know this bitch well enough to post up in her room Janis: I just wanna be with you and not have to see Janis: all this Jimmy: we can just leave Jimmy: we've been #goals since we got here Janis: do you want to Jimmy: I want you Jimmy: wherever Janis: You just had me Janis: many times Jimmy: is that a challenge or a piss off? Janis: [kisses him like the loveydovey bitch she is] Janis: don't even question it Jimmy: don't sound like me that Janis: we're meant to not be us for the night Janis: which is handy because my sister is determined to make the biggest idiot out of herself so Jimmy: but you're so YOU Jimmy: & I just Janis: don't look at me like that I can't Jimmy: don't look like that then Jimmy: 'cause I can't Janis: this is very distracting Janis: how are you meant to get anything done Jimmy: don't Janis: don't what, baby? Jimmy: don't do nowt else Jimmy: just Janis: we can Janis: both layabouts now Janis: I'm gonna stay with you all day every day Jimmy: 1. you're a full time muse if you're owt so don't sell yourself short Jimmy: 2. please Janis: 1. still waiting on that drawing Janis: 2. literally who's gonna stop us Jimmy: the dog you ain't trained Jimmy: maybe Janis: you said don't do nothing else Janis: make up your mind, babe Jimmy: I just said that Jimmy: you should've sorted her out before Janis: 1. i am and have been you know she's so much better already #myinfluence Janis: 2. you have been distracting from the start so take responsibility Jimmy: 1. 🙄 Jimmy: 2. you're easily distracted Jimmy: [demonstrates it by being distracting & kissing her] Janis: ah Janis: I want it, I don't care Jimmy: [kisses her again but all the party bollocks is v distracting too sorry lads] Janis: 😠 what the fuck Janis: can everyone Janis: not Jimmy: do you wanna go back outside? Jimmy: actually fuck that, looks like your sister is Jimmy: if she can make it Janis: I'm so Janis: for fuck sake Jimmy: let's get another drink Jimmy: come on Janis: hoping pablo takes one for the team and drags her stupid ass home 'cos I can't right now I will fucking kill her Jimmy: looks like that lad she's with will Jimmy: take her home not murder her Jimmy: probably Janis: don't Jimmy: ? Janis: I don't need to think about it Jimmy: which bit? Janis: any of it Janis: leave it out Jimmy: alright Jimmy: [downs two big drinks one after another #impressive 'cause what a day] Janis: [gives him a look] Janis: now who's the pisshead Jimmy: still you Janis: [downs a drink to prove it] Janis: 🖕 Jimmy: 😍😍😍😍 Janis: that guy is already taken soz Janis: get a new bit Jimmy: #onlygoteyesforyou Jimmy: that's my bit Janis: [distracted by the bullshit] Jimmy: do you want me to get her? Janis: why bother Jimmy: 'cause it looks like you do Jimmy: & are bothered Janis: don't matter Janis: she'll only be a cunt about it, don't waste your time Jimmy: bollocks Jimmy: she loves me Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: go on then Janis: be a hero Jimmy: do you want me to or are you being a dickhead? Janis: I don't care Jimmy: let's just go then Jimmy: me & you Janis: I'm getting another drink first Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [goes off, gets drink and is dancing] Jimmy: [takes her drink & drinks a fair bit of it 'cause eye on you girl] Janis: excuse you Janis: get your own Jimmy: I can't Jimmy: have to go where you go, remember? Janis: not now Jimmy: what are you on about? Janis: saying go get a drink, have fun Jimmy: shut up Janis: rude Jimmy: you're rude Janis: yeah go on Jimmy: telling me to piss off is rude Janis: did I say that Jimmy: yeah Janis: oh my god Janis: i'm not ready to go Janis: do what you want Jimmy: stop Janis: I ain't doing nothing Janis: stop having a go at me Jimmy: you're being a dickhead Jimmy: 1. I never said you had to be ready to go Jimmy: 2. you know what I want & it's not to leave Jimmy: so leave it out Janis: I'm just tryna have fun here Jimmy: bollocks Jimmy: it ain't my fault that Mia's a bitch & your sister's an embarrassing mess Janis: why you wanna fix it so bad then Jimmy: why do you reckon? Janis: whatever Jimmy: that ain't an answer Janis: can't be bothered with this right now Janis: long day yeah Jimmy: I'll go home then Jimmy: chat to me when you can be bothered Janis: you mean mine Jimmy: why would I mean that? Jimmy: not what I said Janis: because you have to Jimmy: nah, I don't Janis: you can't go home yet come on Janis: you said Jimmy: I can do what I want, you said Janis: fine Jimmy: 👌 Janis: i hate you Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Jimmy: good thing I'm off then Janis: shut up Janis: stop it Jimmy: you stop it Janis: just don't go home Janis: alright Jimmy: I'm not letting myself into yours like I live there Jimmy: [goes outside to smoke moodily but the front of the house not the back] Janis: [follows no shame] Jimmy: [smokes in moody silence] Janis: this is fun Jimmy: shouldn't have followed me Jimmy: your own fault that Janis: you wanted to be together Jimmy: & you didn't Jimmy: make your mind up Janis: nah, make me Jimmy: [actually eye rolls] Janis: wow Janis: you're so much better than me now Jimmy: [starts walking away 'cause when there's too much drama at school you gotta] Janis: don't walk away from me Jimmy: bit late for that Jimmy: already am Janis: stop Jimmy: why? Janis: because I want you to Jimmy: [stops but stays where he is] Janis: I'm sorry Jimmy: alright Janis: no it ain't Jimmy: then what is it? Janis: you tell me Janis: and lemme fix it Jimmy: there's nowt to fix Jimmy: like you said, it's been a long fucking day Jimmy: I shouldn't have come out Janis: no Jimmy: what? Janis: don't regret it Jimmy: 'cause what's to regret Jimmy: I knew they'd all be here Jimmy: & you're a pisshead Jimmy: 👍 Janis: fine Janis: bye Janis: [goes back in and finds an empty room] Jimmy: [shamelessly follows her 'cause that's who they are] Jimmy: I Jimmy: don't Janis: don't what? Jimmy: regret it Jimmy: you Jimmy: alright? Janis: nah, you say what you mean Janis: always Jimmy: shut up Janis: don't tell me to shut up you said that! Jimmy: come on Janis: what do you want, jim Jimmy: you Jimmy: having a shit time at a shit party this second don't mean that I don't Jimmy: or that it was like that every second Jimmy: you know it weren't Janis: let's forget it Janis: let's go Janis: they don't have to ruin it Janis: they don't get to Jimmy: not til you get that I Jimmy: that you're Janis: you don't have to Janis: we're drunk and in bad moods Janis: it's alright Jimmy: it's not alright if Jimmy: if it can keep happening like this Jimmy: one day & Jimmy: it's ruined more times than I can just fucking Janis: what are you saying then Jimmy: you asked me why I wanna fix it so bad Jimmy: what kind of question is that Jimmy: today Janis: I meant Grace Jimmy: it don't matter Jimmy: I've got nowt, alright Jimmy: but you as my girlfriend Jimmy: so that's why I wanna fix it Jimmy: remember when I asked you how you could make me laugh when things are still so shit? Jimmy: ages ago Jimmy: & they still are & you still can Janis: I remember Janis: I don't have anything else either Janis: so don't hold this against me when I didn't even mean it at all never mind like that Jimmy: I just Jimmy: why can't I be that for you? Jimmy: why does it have to be even shitter before we're here Janis: I don't know Janis: I'm just Janis: fucked Janis: I try Jimmy: me too Jimmy: on trying & being fucked Janis: Just keep trying with me Janis: please, a bit longer Jimmy: I'll sit in any empty room with you Jimmy: talk or not talk Jimmy: down any number of drinks you want Jimmy: just don't forget what I said, I mean it Jimmy: I give a shit about you Janis: I won't, promise Janis: you're so important to me Jimmy: I wouldn't be here if I didn't know that Janis: Good Janis: you know Janis: don't you Jimmy: yeah, baby Jimmy: I know Jimmy: it's alright Janis: [longest kiss ever 'cos we all know] Jimmy: so what now? Jimmy: we getting your sister or not? Janis: I don't know Janis: she won't appreciate it, if she want to do this then I guess I'm supposed to let her Jimmy: but we can try, if you want Jimmy: it don't have to just be for me Jimmy: I won't tell her & she probably won't remember but Jimmy: you will Janis: Okay Janis: you'll have to go talk to her Jimmy: challenge accepted Janis: I can't talk to her Jimmy: so stay here Jimmy: I better not tell her I really wanna fuck her in case she remembers it Jimmy: but I'll think of summat 👌 Janis: don't joke Janis: not ready to fight again Jimmy: [kisses her 'cause him either] Jimmy: to be continued Jimmy: stay here Janis: okay Janis: got the easy job Jimmy: [goes to find that messy bitch] Jimmy: are you gonna be pissed off at me if I have to smack that dickhead she's with? Janis: hardly Jimmy: 👍 'cause I have Janis: 😏 Janis: are you alright though Jimmy: 💪 Jimmy: my dad has more about him than that lad Jimmy: sort it out Jimmy: he's northern & close to his death age Janis: Christ knows where she found him Jimmy: dickheads anonymous Jimmy: she's crying but she was when I got there so not my fault Janis: don't worry Janis: she always is Jimmy: thank feck for that Jimmy: my sister never cries I was like Jimmy: 😱😱😱 Janis: 🍀 Janis: no doubt we'll hear it was all my fault Jimmy: that ain't what she's saying now Jimmy: if I really did ever forget your name, just have a word with your sister when she's had a few Jimmy: 🙄🙄 Janis: Mia probably got to her too 'fore getting whisked away by tonight's Prince Charming, then Jimmy: I'd think you were #besties Jimmy: soz Mia Jimmy: 💔 Janis: Have you forgotten my name forreal? Janis: 🤔 Jimmy: It ain't my fault your sister loves you tonight Janis: just saying, it ain't fucking Janis: Eurasia or whatever continent the bitch is Jimmy: just saying it's Janis she won't shut up about 💕 Jimmy: whoever that is Janis: she's so ridiculously pissed Jimmy: she misses you Jimmy: #same Gracie so get a move on Janis: so what's the plan Janis: am I calling a cab or Jimmy: walking should sober her up Jimmy: but we might kill her Jimmy: I'm only getting half of this chat & I still want her to shut up Janis: you've got headphones Janis: we can do this 💪 Jimmy: I'm telling her all lads aren't dickheads Jimmy: #newjobasatherapisttah Janis: 😂 oh my christ Jimmy: glad I smacked that one 'cause he sounds top Janis: she's got the worst taste Jimmy: does she smoke? I feel like the answer is nah but that ain't what I'm getting from the girl in question Janis: nah but see if she knows which end to light 👍 Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: even Bobby knows which end's which Jimmy: the dog could probably do it too even with her lack of training Janis: don't you dare corrupt her Janis: twix, that is Janis: idc if you give grace a 🚬 Jimmy: not gonna waste 'em on either Jimmy: also bit late for Grace Jimmy: I know more 'bout how that lad likes to fuck than I ever needed Jimmy: remind me to give Barry a ring he'll love this Janis: 💀 Janis: let me die Janis: she's such a fucking Jimmy: he likes to look at himself in the mirror, that one's not a surprise Janis: STOP Jimmy: I'm keeping it surface level for you, babe Janis: she's a bloody hypocrite Jimmy: I'd tell her but she's on a roll Janis: I'll let her know Janis: hopefully the shame will finally finish her off Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: [arrives with a look like whose idea was this? again his] Janis: just keep her entertained 'cos you do not want us talking okay Jimmy: I told you she loves me Jimmy: easy Janis: Yeah sound more thrilled Jimmy: [asks Grace about a Brazilian blow out cos remember when] Jimmy: 👍 Janis: 🔪 Janis: you're so unfunny Jimmy: [does a little lol] Jimmy: love you too 💕 Janis: 💕 Jimmy: you look so cute when you're plotting murder Jimmy: 😍 Janis: now you reckon it ain't yours, yeah 😏 Jimmy: a bit mine probably Jimmy: but love me again Janis: can't leave no witnesses babe Janis: but pain me to see you go Janis: 'cos you know I do Jimmy: #goals Janis: stop being cute when I gotta walk ahead of yous Jimmy: I won't beg for my life then Jimmy: bit rude Janis: save it for when it's just me and you Jimmy: stop being hot when you gotta walk ahead of me Janis: 💋🍑 Jimmy: I hate you Jimmy: so much Janis: What's the matter? Janis: not as easy as you thought? Jimmy: shut up Janis: 🤔 but you hate it when I'm quiet Jimmy: you know how much I wanna touch you right now Jimmy: kiss you Jimmy: don't Janis: Poor boy Jimmy: I'm so mad at you Janis: you love it Jimmy: hate it Jimmy: I told you Janis: that's what you get for being noble💔 Janis: I told you Jimmy: it's the last time Jimmy: I swear Janis: 😏 okay babe Jimmy: 🖕 Janis: you wanna prove how mean you're gonna be from now on? okay Jimmy: nowt to prove babe Jimmy: I'm just that dickhead now Janis: 🤤🤤🤤 Janis: oh no Janis: whatever shall I do Jimmy: feel it Jimmy: how I Janis: [Looks back at him all like 'what?'] Jimmy: [is giving her a sexy look in return] Janis: [bites her lip and has to turn back 'cos boy] Jimmy: hate me too Jimmy: it's lonely out here being the only one who just wants Janis: you are so not alone on this Janis: please Jimmy: I am Jimmy: if you felt like this you wouldn't say that Janis: Baby Jimmy: or that Janis: just think how worth it it's gonna be when you get me alone Jimmy: thinking about nowt else Jimmy: every sound you've ever made for me Jimmy: to drown your sister's bollocks out Janis: I'm glad I can pretend I don't hear her too Janis: also that she's completely oblivious Jimmy: I wish she was as oblivious as your hippie brother pretended to be though Janis: fuck Janis: Me too Jimmy: why does it feel like we went upstairs at a different party on a different night Jimmy: ages ago Janis: the world and it's drama won't leave us alone Jimmy: you were so Jimmy: you are Janis: you too Janis: how'd you get so Jimmy: it's your fault Janis: happy to take credit but how Jimmy: I need you so badly Jimmy: I have to be Jimmy: I can't just Janis: you are Janis: you're fucking Janis: everything Janis: you don't need to worry, trust Jimmy: how much further is it? Jimmy: I Janis: not far Janis: she makes it seem it, I know Jimmy: if I can't kiss you soon I'm 💀 Janis: [runs back and kisses him for a hot sec deal grace] Jimmy: I was wrong, now you've kissed me I'm 💀💀💀 Janis: can't win, me 💔 Jimmy: you don't reckon you've won? Jimmy: I know you could feel how much I want you Janis: it'll feel like a win when I can feel it properly Jimmy: okay Janis: I just Jimmy: just? Janis: I really fucking like you Janis: you know Jimmy: I get it Jimmy: I really fucking like you too Janis: how evil would it be to let her get a little bit lost for a while Janis: don't answer i know and i'm mad about it Jimmy: I've told you before all of this place looks the same Jimmy: it's really easy done, yeah Janis: too tempting Janis: the sooner we get back the better Janis: she can shut up and sleep it off and we can Jimmy: or you can gimme a few minutes now Jimmy: let it happen 'cause she won't remember but we will Janis: [slows down a little] Janis: you're testing me, boy Jimmy: last time being noble, I said Jimmy: I'm that dickhead now Jimmy: selfish Janis: prove it Janis: go on Jimmy: [kisses her not soz Grace you know you would babe] Janis: The noises I just made Janis: thank God she ain't remembering Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Jimmy: & don't you wanna make more now Jimmy: I do Janis: yes Janis: badly Janis: like get her to move faster please Jimmy: [does] Janis: 🙌 Janis: my hero Jimmy: drunk girl whisperer is going on the CV Janis: just don't use your powers for evil and i'm fine with it Jimmy: I won't use 'em against you, pisshead Jimmy: don't worry Jimmy: 💕 Janis: not what I meant Janis: tell me what to do anytime Jimmy: lose your sister Jimmy: the cows will make sure she don't die Janis: believe me I've tried Janis: she knows her way home Janis: 💔 Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: true tragedy baby Jimmy: today's been full of 'em Janis: 😞 Janis: I know Jimmy: Mia's outfit is top one Janis: 😂 Janis: you're the best boyfriend ever Jimmy: just wait Jimmy: I'll show you how good I am Janis: literally can't wait Jimmy: [kisses her again 'cause same but just quickly 'cause no chill if he don't] Janis: never been gladder to see my house honestly Janis: are we getting away with throwing her on the sofa or what Jimmy: never been gladder not to be at mine & that's going some Jimmy: yeah we can Jimmy: can't have her realising our good deeds Janis: 🙅 absolutely not Janis: gotta keep her hating me Jimmy: her & me both yeah Jimmy: #twinning Janis: 💔 Janis: fix it Jimmy: 💗 Janis: 💕 Jimmy: I'll fix everything Jimmy: come on Janis: I believe you Jimmy: good 'cause I'm serious Jimmy: & taking it seriously Janis: I know Janis: I feel it Janis: actually 😍 Jimmy: I feel Janis: legit promise i won't get mad no bullshit Janis: have you felt this before Janis: like with your ex Janis: is this how it is Jimmy: no Jimmy: I already told you, it's how it is with us Jimmy: not like Jimmy: she was just there sometimes, sometimes I was Jimmy: sometimes we both were but Janis: yeah Janis: it's all new to me Janis: not having these convos with her or the like either am i Jimmy: that probably shouldn't make me feel how it does Jimmy: like you should, you can but Janis: as long as it makes you feel 🥇 then that's what I want Janis: she wouldn't get it anyway, she has said as much, not that I asked but Jimmy: just this once, not mad she's a letdown Janis: yeah? Jimmy: maybe Janis: whaddya mean maybe Jimmy: alright, yeah Jimmy: you know I like chatting to you Janis: glad you do Janis: dunno why Jimmy: do you not? Janis: no Jimmy: you're a good listener for one thing Jimmy: & make me laugh when things are shit, like I said Jimmy: you don't make me feel like I'm Jimmy: actually 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: 'cos you ain't Jimmy: just 💔 for my 🎨 like Jimmy: nowt else Janis: duh Janis: what's really important here, like Jimmy: you are Janis: you Jimmy: us then Janis: wish I was better at talking Janis: there's so much you deserve to hear Jimmy: shhh Jimmy: I don't want you to be no different Janis: not even slightly bigger tits or something Jimmy: [again lols] Janis: 😍😍😍 Jimmy: 💕 Janis: you're perfect though Jimmy: you're pissed though Janis: take the compliment Janis: and I'll tell you in the morning Jimmy: we don't have to go nowhere, do we Jimmy: we can just Janis: stay Janis: please Jimmy: I ain't going anywhere you ain't too, I said Janis: then we're staying in bed all day Janis: not just 'cos I'm pissed, tah Jimmy: you ain't that bad Jimmy: for a pisshead Jimmy: your sister is smashed out of her head though which serves you well for a comparison Janis: hm she was before she was even ready, that was literal hours ago Jimmy: 'course she was Jimmy: that white girl wasted bollocks, I remember Janis: you really listen Jimmy: not gonna listen to myself chat shit instead am I Janis: i like what you chat Janis: sometimes Jimmy: can we make Grace have a dry month of may? we'd all like that Janis: at least there's something else for us to all blame when she's twatted Jimmy: 😂 Janis: make me feel like a better person Jimmy: don't make it sound like such a challenge Jimmy: you're the best person in this shithole of a town Janis: it's my fault Jimmy: nah Janis: don't care just make me forget Jimmy: [kisses her 'cause challenge always accepted] Janis: that's Janis: you're so perfect Janis: perfect perfect perfect Jimmy: [has to kiss her more so I don't say it goddamn] Janis: more Jimmy: [does 'cause might as well at this point kids] Janis: just preparing her for the doubledate Jimmy: & me Jimmy: I'm gonna need more than that to get through it Janis: touching me up under the table, I remember Janis: oh no that was family dinner Janis: same rules or Jimmy: I reckon we can do better Jimmy: fancy restaurants gotta have really decent bathrooms Janis: 😭 we didn't get to go shopping Janis: this day is a million years long Jimmy: I'll take you, baby Jimmy: just not tomorrow Janis: we got time Jimmy: the CG have done us a top favor Janis: feels it Jimmy: good news, I told you Janis: I'll allow it Jimmy: 👍 Janis: gonna train you and this dog Janis: just you wait Jimmy: me? Jimmy: bit rude Jimmy: I'm 🥇 already Janis: 😏 Janis: just saying, very demanding Jimmy: [kisses her 'cause likewise & like pushes her up against the nearest wall or whatever idk where they've made it to 'cause gotta prove that 🥇 status] Jimmy: yeah? Janis: [Tugs at his/her clothes appreciatively, exposing more skin to touch and kiss and bite, she nods] Jimmy: [just having a full blown moment so I hope Pablo doesn't pop up like back in the day lol] Janis: [Grace probably needs to interrupt but wraps her legs around his waist pulling him even closer 'cos no chill] Jimmy: [I'm just shamelessly letting this happen 'cause what a day even though he's already touching her everywhere he can before it's just OBSCENE take it down a notch lads but don't god bless] Janis: I want you Jimmy: you have me Janis: fuck Janis: I Jimmy: me too Jimmy: whatever you're gonna say Jimmy: I just Janis: this feels so Janis: I don't just mean Janis: like Janis: shit Jimmy: you don't have to Jimmy: I get it Janis: all of it Janis: yeah Janis: for you too Jimmy: all of it Jimmy: yeah Janis: [kisses him hard 'cos what else you gonna do but say it and shh] Jimmy: [Grace interruption so we don't all die] Janis: there it is Janis: she's gonna be fuming she got puke on that dress Jimmy: I'm fuming we can't just leave her here Janis: really shit the bed with you Janis: not gonna tuck her in now are you Jimmy: not unless she wants me to puke on her Jimmy: grim that was Jimmy: I feel Janis: baby Janis: you squeamish? Jimmy: shut up Janis: keep it together, not carrying you both home Jimmy: [is clearly looking like he could also vom 'cause same boy it gets me too] Jimmy: 💪 Janis: poor boy Janis: go ahead and go to my room Janis: i'll deal with her Jimmy: that ain't what you said Jimmy: if you murder her let me know so I can think of a decent lie Janis: yeah well you might actually 💀if she tries to drag you into bed with her now Janis: and you better mean for me 'cos I'm saving you here, return the favour Jimmy: I just need a sec Jimmy: I'm alright Jimmy: [isn't] Janis: go Janis: lie down Janis: just don't fall asleep or i'll be so mad Jimmy: you know I ain't tired Jimmy: not right now Janis: i know what you lads are like when you've had a few too many Janis: 💔 Jimmy: do you? Janis: how rude Janis: didn't live under a rock 'til you found me, like Jimmy: I get it, that's why you were a virgin Jimmy: lads, sort it out Janis: that's even more shaming than the actual Janis: just getting passed out on constantly like not again Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: chat to Mia I bet she understands Jimmy: done & been done to Janis: easier to devour when she ain't gotta subdue 'em Janis: fuck knows she ain't got those kinda moves Jimmy: Hang on, I'll ask Gracie Jimmy: get that #insider scoop Janis: the ✂ must've been a real letdown Janis: start a fire with those twig legs Janis: not in a sexy way Jimmy: 😂 Janis: such a cunt Jimmy: I'll ship her where I came from Jimmy: don't have gays in the north Janis: bullshit Janis: even your football teams sound like gay clubs Jimmy: illegal it is Jimmy: gotta repress that shit til you 💀 Janis: explains why you're so highkey about barry #forbiddenlove Janis: all the rage 'round here too, like Jimmy: #romeo&julietwho Jimmy: & why we got so many footie teams Jimmy: & factories Janis: what's better than guys being dudes Jimmy: no homo though lads Jimmy: never that Janis: 😂 nah, ot weird you'd rather be at the pub with your mates and NEVER see your missus Janis: #justmanlymanthings Jimmy: maybe it's why my dad's so angry Jimmy: & my mum isn't about Jimmy: solved it Janis: could be, scoob Janis: had many 'uncles' that aren't actually your uncles? Jimmy: he's had more 'girlfriends' than I've had hot dinners so Jimmy: something to prove? I reckon Janis: too busy with the 'ladies' to make 'em Janis: bond with her over being a beard, that'll be nice Jimmy: 👍 Janis: if you're actually gay i will kill you Janis: #nohomophobia Jimmy: I told you Jimmy: not so far Jimmy: now I'm away from the north owt could happen Janis: just fit in another girlfriend before your big gay coming out alright Janis: my rep can't deal with being the one that turns you Jimmy: do my best Jimmy: Whelan's bound to come through with a stop gap girlfriend for me to protect you Jimmy: crawling with my #type Janis: exactly Janis: and some of those trims are pretty severe, jus' sayin' Janis: last ammendment to the deal, I swear Jimmy: I'd give Mia the honors for her rep dent but I can't fake that for a second Jimmy: boyish figure or nah Jimmy: actually would be sick Jimmy: & not in a #bonding way Janis: there's boyish then there's starving african child Janis: you gotta be fucked yourself to ignore that Janis: it can't be nice Jimmy: don't I'm lightheaded Janis: #lightweight you mean Jimmy: if you're chatting 'bout yourself Janis: featherweight baby 🥊 Jimmy: I can drink you under the table & have Janis: only 'cos I let you Jimmy: bollocks Jimmy: any time & place Janis: bring it, boy Jimmy: double date night Jimmy: prove yourself or me right Janis: I'm always right Janis: so Jimmy: easy to say Jimmy: make it true Janis: 💪 Jimmy: 🏆 Jimmy: & come here Jimmy: I miss you Janis: [does, Grace is lucky she ain't been literally dropped at this point lads] Janis: you don't have to miss me Jimmy: but I do Janis: I'm all yours Janis: five minutes to get rid of her Jimmy: if I give you a hand it's 2 & a half Jimmy: come on Janis: 💕 such a good Dad Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: I'm a selfish dickhead, remember Jimmy: keep up Janis: perfect candidate then init Jimmy: 💕 Janis: not my way of saying I'm trapping you, don't worry Janis: save the 💔 attack Jimmy: do I look worried Jimmy: [is looking at her like 😍 kill me] Janis: [has to ignore that but like clearly dying] Janis: just your face, can't tell, tbh Jimmy: 💔💔 Jimmy: so brutal you Janis: says you Janis: no business making jokes like that whilst being so Jimmy: you're looking like that Jimmy: & telling me Jimmy: piss off Janis: you don't want me to really Jimmy: I really just want Jimmy: what? Janis: you want Janis: no Janis: you need me Jimmy: do I? Jimmy: [literally looking at her in so many sexy ways fuck me up] Janis: [makes noise without even touching like bye] Janis: yes Janis: badly Jimmy: maybe you're right Jimmy: just for right now Janis: right for right now works for me Jimmy: still gonna outdrink you but Janis: maybe under the table is where i wanna be Jimmy: & maybe I really wanna taste you first Jimmy: before Janis: let me win then Janis: just this once Jimmy: I'll let you do anything Jimmy: just this once Janis: don't say that Jimmy: go on Janis: Jimmy Jimmy: I said, go on Janis: [clasps around his neck and is whispering in his ear, voice strained 'cos help, 'there's so much I wanna do I don't know where to begin or how to'] Jimmy: [kisses her 'cos they a team bitch] Jimmy: let me help you then Janis: you're the best Janis: taste me like you really wanna Jimmy: [does 'cause no chill] Janis: is it Janis: it feels Janis: tell me how it is Jimmy: like Jimmy: I don't have no words for how Jimmy: fucking Janis: you're showing me Janis: if it's even half how you're making me Janis: then Jimmy: you're never half Jimmy: you're Janis: that Janis: when you just did that with your Janis: how did you Janis: fuck me Jimmy: [does it again 'cause forever that bitch obviously] Janis: [holding onto his hair] Janis: you can't Janis: this is Jimmy: I can't stop Jimmy: you know I can't Janis: but baby Janis: i'm gonna Jimmy: [keeps going 'cause that's the only 👍 we need lads] Janis: tell me it's okay Jimmy: [says it out loud 'cause again no chill where even are you two why don't you care?] Janis: [honestly let's hope you got Grace in the door and no one is lurking] Janis: you want me to don't you Jimmy: [enthusiastically shows her that he does want her to] Janis: [thank God she ain't  with it enough to remember how loud this is] Janis: you're making me Janis: right here Janis: where even Janis: who even Janis: don't care Jimmy: it's alright Jimmy: I promise Janis: I trust you Janis: I wanna Janis: want to do this Jimmy: [carries on 'cause same] Janis: I wanna say your name 'til it stops making sense Jimmy: [tells her out loud that she should 'cause he's about it lbr] Janis: [does] Jimmy: [very happy responses to this] Janis: I wanna make you make more sounds Janis: [pulls down so she's on top, sat on his lap how they do but you know] Jimmy: [gets more sounds for that obvs] Janis: Good boy Jimmy: fuck Janis: Let me take care of you, baby Janis: [pushes him so he's laying back fully] Janis: relax Jimmy: I Jimmy: here then Janis: right here Janis: right now Janis: you said Jimmy: I did say Jimmy: alright Janis: you want it don't you Jimmy: [is loud 'cause yeah they got no chill & they aren't bothered] Janis: [goes harder 'cos that's a yes] Jimmy: [says her name 'cause that's many things] Janis: you know what it does to me Janis: when you say my name Janis: [shows him] Jimmy: [says it more 'cause he does know & is living for it bye] Janis: Jimmy are you gonna cum for me Jimmy: are you? Janis: you know I am Janis: I wanna make you right here Jimmy: so go on Jimmy: you know you can Jimmy: you are Janis: [goes all in like you know someone could walk in any moment yeah] Jimmy: [is being loud as if they aren't just doing this in a Cali house hallway 'cause damn] Janis: don't stop Jimmy: you don't Janis: promise Jimmy: [doesn't stop] Janis: stay Janis: for a bit Janis: okay Jimmy: okay Janis: I know you have to Janis: but Janis: want to Janis: least with me Jimmy: Baby Jimmy: I do want to Janis: okay Jimmy: [promises out loud 'cause he does want to] Janis: [kisses him 'til they finish 'cos shh] Jimmy: shit Janis: yeah Janis: that Jimmy: help me up Janis: [does] Janis: tempting as it is to have you all helpless, like Janis: you're too cute Jimmy: [gives her a little hug for a bit cos he's an affectionate soft boy] Jimmy: you Janis: you Jimmy: [hand holding for Winnie boy & also 'cause you can't stay here for ever get in that basement] Janis: 💕 Jimmy: 😍 Janis: you're gonna make me fall for you you know Jimmy: I should've warned you Jimmy: bit rude Janis: tbh Jimmy: it ain't too late Jimmy: there you are Jimmy: warned Janis: 😑 Janis: hmm Jimmy: what's that face for? Janis: tryna get out of the lawsuit Janis: not gonna work Jimmy: you're rich Jimmy: easy Janis: i'm suing you Janis: silly Jimmy: nah you can't Jimmy: this face? Janis: that's why you're getting sued Janis: you didn't warn me and it's all your fault Jimmy: no jury's having it Jimmy: right there in writing Jimmy: just did Janis: nuuh Janis: too late you don't get to decide Jimmy: if you love me you can't sue me Jimmy: come on Janis: maybe we can settle this outta court Janis: if you compensate me Jimmy: I'm just a poor boy Jimmy: but maybe Janis: work something out Jimmy: [picks her up and spins her round before kissing her 'cause cute nerd but boy you the same height & she's stronger than you, be careful] Janis: what was that for Jimmy: you're a nerd Jimmy: & I like you Janis: you too and me too Jimmy: 1. nah I'm 😎 Jimmy: 2. you love me Janis: minor details Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: you're so Janis: drunk? Janis: you forgetting grace Jimmy: yeah but Jimmy: not what I was gonna say Janis: you aren't gonna say it Janis: but that's okay Jimmy: don't challenge me Janis: I ain't Janis: only say what you wanna Jimmy: I just want you to know that Jimmy: you really fucking turned this day 'round Janis: good Janis: that makes me happy Janis: not 'cos it was shit to begin with or anything but Jimmy: [touches his eyebrow like he forgot about the whole thing] Jimmy: it don't hurt now Jimmy: & I don't feel shit Jimmy: anymore Janis: [moves his fingers, kissing the tips and then kissing where the cut is, very carefully] Janis: it's alright if it does or you do, not a one time offer of looking after you, you know Jimmy: [has to kiss her 'cause can't handle how fucking gentle that is, good day] Jimmy: how long? Janis: long as you're here Jimmy: but you know I can't stay Jimmy: not after tomorrow Janis: but I mean here like Janis: this town here Jimmy: & if I have to leave then it was just fake anyway, yeah Jimmy: that's what we're gonna say Jimmy: to each other Janis: you won't say nothing to me Janis: you'll just go Jimmy: no warning Jimmy: exactly Janis: yeah Jimmy: that's what people do Jimmy: so I can Jimmy: easy Janis: you will Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: like I was never here Janis: nah Janis: maybe for you, if you're lucky Janis: i don't know how that side works Jimmy: I don't reckon you feel lucky Jimmy: if you Jimmy: if you feel anything Janis: probably not Janis: but Janis: can pretend Jimmy: I told you, I don't want to pretend Jimmy: you're my real girlfriend so Janis: you don't have to Janis: people do, to make themselves feel better, that's all Jimmy: it don't Janis: I know Janis: for the benefit of everyone else Janis: playing to the audience Jimmy: don't do it Jimmy: okay Jimmy: just Janis: miss you forever? Jimmy: don't miss me ever Jimmy: you don't have to Jimmy: wherever I am Jimmy: I wanna be here Janis: I Janis: I'll try Janis: okay Jimmy: I Jimmy: Janis Jimmy: I'm Janis: Come on Janis: let's get in bed and just Janis: hold Janis: for a bit Jimmy: [holds onto her as they actually do walk finally 'cause loves it] Jimmy: alright

[punkscowardschampions]

Grace & Janis

Grace: are you EVER coming home or can I officially have your room? Janis: You measuring up already, yeah? Janis: Diego probably a better housemate than the rest, true Grace: his filming set up is 🔥 sooo Janis: 😂 Janis: hauls are defs what he wants his equipment used for Grace: ugh have you seen the bag I was using last time you saw me? I CANNOT find it Janis: Grace, as if I was paying any attention to your bag Janis: left it in Common Grounds maybe? Janis: 2nd time's a charm 😜 Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 SO unhelpful babes Grace: OMG no for who? that other one Grace: EW Janis: Gonna say, if you were aiming for Jim he weren't in today so 💔 Grace: I saw the pics I'm aware Janis: Tah for the #engagement then babes 👍 Grace: oh please Grace: like you need it Grace: so the IT couple now 🙄🙄 Janis: You know it Janis: 'til whoever hooks up with whoever's man at the next big party and it's the scandal of the century Grace: obvs Grace: he is a good photographer tho Janis: Yeah I didn't know Janis: he does it at School too Grace: DUH Grace: the teacher loves him Grace: you think you're the only one 😍😍😍 honey Grace: rude awakening Janis: I know I ain't Janis: bitches be blatant 😏 Grace: If that's a dig at me Grace: HOW RUDE Janis: 😂 Janis: Not strictly you but you know you have the subtlety of a brick to the face Grace: OMG Grace: I'm being nice bitch Janis: So am I, bitch Janis: calm down Grace: I told you I cannot Grace: not until I find this bag Grace: 😱😱😱 Janis: Surely you've not left it out out, it'll be at one of your friends if not somewhere amongst all your crap Grace: Duh Grace: but if it's at Mia's I'm not going Janis: No? Grace: Ugh Grace: I'm gonna have to change my ENTIRE outfit Janis: Sure she'll send it back in it's own car Janis: might take a dump in it first Grace: CAN YOU NOT Grace: I'm not trying to have a stress skin breakout thank you Janis: Where are you even going if you ain't going somewhere with her Grace: excuse you Grace: I go places Grace: I know you think it's just you now babe Janis: Not on your own you don't, it's too early for a party, too late for shopping 'cos you'd have gone at the crack of dawn Grace: I have a date if ANY of my wardrobe cooperates Janis: Ah Janis: okay Janis: don't you usually get them all 'round to wax your mustache and fry your hair though Grace: OMG do you not listen Grace: I'm not going to get that bitch here to sabotage me Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: Now why ever would she do that Janis: not our Mia Grace: 'Cause she HATES me rn Grace: duh Janis: You'll kiss and make up tomorrow what's new Grace: You actually do not listen Grace: poor barista boy Janis: You've not said anything??? Grace: I told you before! Janis: You're gonna need to be more specific Grace: She's being a shady bitch about you & this boy Grace: I'm over it Janis: 🙄 Janis: She wanna pipe me or what Janis: she'll get some dick of her own and be over it soon Grace: OMG DO YOU HAVE TO Grace: she has a man, it's stupid Grace: & so is how often I have to defend you Grace: not the life I want thank you Janis: but seriously Janis: what is her actual problem Janis: you must know Grace: I don't Grace: I thought it was cos she thought you took him from me but it's not that deep Grace: It's not like barista boy is the love of my life sorry Janis: She just likes being a bitch Janis: sorry but it's true Grace: UM but the things she's saying are sooooooo out of order Grace: Like no Grace: It's horrible Janis: It ain't news to me Janis: she's always been like it, you know that Grace: not about you to me Grace: this highkey Janis: Guess she's over being sly with it Janis: probably thought you'd be # more about it idk Grace: You know I wouldn't Grace: Yeah? Janis: It's whatever, I don't care Janis: thought that's what y'all already did so Grace: Bitch I care! Grace: I can say what I want Grace: she can't Janis: Try and tell her that Janis: not exactly how it's been though so not surprised she don't care either Grace: Hello!? that's what I'm saying Grace: I have Grace: You can date all the hot boys you want Grace: it's not her business Janis: Makes everything her business that's her M.O Janis: depriving her of potential victims, like Grace: Oh please Grace: she's never get him Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: Why you think she's so mad Janis: take it up with him it's him that won't fuck her like Janis: though no tah, also Grace: no cos its not about HIM it's about you Grace: that's why I'm SO mad Grace: he's obvs into you for whatever reason so Grace: she doesn't get to say he shouldn't be Grace: idk whatever Janis: She's a control freak Janis: we all been knew before her bones started sticking out so much Janis: I don't care, ignore her 'til she misses you enough to get over it Grace: she's a lot of things, hun but not the relationship police, we can all date who we want, sorry about it Grace: she thinks she can tell me who to go out with too now Grace: excuse you no Janis: Just 'cos she can't stop me and Jim, sh reckons you'll be easier Grace: Ugh I don't even want to go looking like this Grace: but she doesn't want me to so obvs will Janis: You look fine, you're just stressing Grace: You don't know Grace: You're not here Janis: Unless you've disfigured your face I can take a wild guess, babe Janis: and unless your catfishing this lad, he's gonna know what you look like too so Grace: Please, he knows what I look like when I'm a 10 Grace: today is NOT that Janis: 🙄 Janis: idk can't you call one of the ones that ain't her Grace: sure if I wanna kms Grace: wherever she is, they are Janis: Come on Janis: you have to show her up Grace: Help me Janis: Now I'm fashionable is it? Janis: What can I do, like Grace: idk Grace: you're not freaking out Grace: & you have a boyfriend Grace: ask him Janis: ask him what? like do you want outfit opinions or conversation starters here Janis: you've met him, yeah? 😂 Grace: obvs it only matters what I look like duh Grace: Mia's not coming on the date Janis: He's making dinner right now Janis: You could come over or just send me snaps of what you're planning Grace: CUTE Grace: I won't gatecrash Grace: anyways I don't even know where he lives, I didn't get that far 😂 Janis: 👌 Janis: I'm glad to know you stopped yourself before being that creepy, babe Grace: You stop! I am not Grace: it's not my fault we never get any new hotties around here Janis: 😂 Janis: who's this lad then, anyone I know? Grace: someone Mia does so probably cos you're so obsessed with each other 🙄🙄 Grace: jk tho obvs Grace: 😘 Janis: no doubt Janis: with her now, like Janis: all a giant ruse and conspiracy against you Grace: OMG don't even Grace: if I see screenshots of this anywhere I'll kill you Janis: 😂 Janis: [snaps Jimmy] Janis: not a threesome Grace: ugh he has no business looking like that tho Grace: for a white boy Grace: outrageous Janis: I know Janis: You LOVE white boys though don't lie 😏 Grace: I can't help that there's more of them in Dublin Janis: Okay babe Grace: OMG stop Grace: I don't only date white boys Grace: you literally CAN'T say that Janis: 👌 Janis: I'm not keeping track Janis: vague memories of one not entirely pasty one Grace: Well I am, and it's like a 60/30 split so Grace: I can do some maths, bitch FYI Grace: OMG this boy isn't?! Is that why Mia doesn't want me to date him?! 😱😱😱 Janis: 😂 Where are we putting the other 10% Janis: I know you ain't dated no Asians, facts Janis: she tryna keep your numbers down? considerate of her Grace: In my #regrets pile shhhh Grace: or she wants him for herself Grace: to compete with your interracial coupling Janis: She wants every lad for herself, told you Janis: the more #desirable to others the better Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Grace: she wants yours, she's plotting Grace: be careful Janis: Like I said, he ain't arsed Grace: Obvs but still warn him Grace: she's a LOT Janis: Yeah Janis: actual maneater Janis: 🐍 Grace: 😂 Grace: she wishes Grace: she doesn't even do blowjobs Janis: Calories, init Grace: she did one once & it went so tragically she's never Grace: but you didn't hear that from me Grace: why I was trying to help YOU duh Grace: so shaming Janis: Heard that from the lad she disappointed anyway Janis: boys talk too, you know Janis: give yourself a second chance and a better rep, Mia Janis: she's just easy, not rated Grace: Duh Grace: I just don't wanna know what they say about me Janis: Good 'cos I don't wanna chat about that either Grace: OMG is it that bad? Janis: Nah I'm saying I don't listen when they chat about any of you Grace: 👌 thank god Grace: I put in the work Janis: 🙄 Janis: Disgusting Grace: Oh please Grace: Like you don't Janis: We don't need to chat about it do we Grace: I'm just saying! 🙄 Grace: It was a sincere offer of help before Grace: You can talk to me Janis: I don't need help Grace: 👌👌👌 babes Grace: no shade Grace: I just know what it's like Grace: at first Janis: It's good Janis: I keep telling you it's not my first time like Grace: Babes, come on Grace: If you don't wanna tell me, fine, but you don't need to lie Janis: 🙄 This is why we don't talk Janis: if you ain't gonna listen or believe me what's the point Grace: I am listening Grace: but we both know he's the first boy you ever went that far with Janis: so? Janis: #virginityisasocialconstruct is it not Janis: don't mean I don't know what I'm doing Grace: Oh my god Grace: I literally never said it does Grace: I'm only trying to help Grace: sometimes it's good to talk, Janis Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: Yeah you did Janis: There's nothing to talk about don't be weird Grace: whatever Grace: excuse me for trying to be nice Janis: It ain't nice it's nosy Grace: It's nice if you want someone to talk to & you don't have it! Grace: you're so rude Janis: well I don't so youre fine Grace: I heard you Janis: 👍 Grace: Are you coming home this week at ANY point? Janis: I'm sure I will Janis: can't stay forever can I Grace: I'm sure he'd allow it Grace: shame he has no friends or brothers who aren't kids Janis: Not everyone's parents are such pushovers though Janis: 😂 behave Grace: 😇 obvs Grace: I just don't want to go Janis: he's a munter Janis: I understand Grace: OMG shut up Grace: It's about how I look not him Janis: The more you think on it the less fun you're gonna be and have Janis: you're fine Grace: You don't understand Grace: so excuse me if I don't wanna hear it Janis: What don't I understand Grace: anything Grace: you don't care Grace: you don't have to Janis: Bit rude Grace: Well it's true! Grace: Some of us don't just get a hot boyfriend & amazing sex life, you know Grace: some of us have to try Janis: Let's calm down, it's just roll of the dice ain't it Janis: not like I've had a million hot boyfriends in a row like Grace: cos YOU didn't want to Grace: Like I said, you don't understand Grace: so don't tell me to calm down Janis: I ain't saying it for my health Janis: but okay Grace: You're saying it cos you want me to shut up Grace: so 👌 Janis: No I'm not Janis: but getting in a flap ain't gonna lead to a good date and then you'll feel even worse but you're just confirming your own bias Janis: everyone feels like shit sometimes but don't let that dictate what kinda time you're gonna have Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Grace: whatever I'm having a GREAT time if my feed says I am so Janis: how does that matter when you ain't Grace: Duh, only doing this so Mia won't win Grace: remember? Janis: 🙄 Janis: She wins automatically because you give a shit and she don't Grace: I know you'd LOVE for me to give up, babes but I can't join you in the ranks of not caring Janis: No shit Janis: she's a terrible friend Janis: who do you think you're doing any favours Janis: not yourself Grace: I'll just be alone then? Love that Janis: Get new ones Janis: you aren't bound for life Grace: Sure Grace: cos it's sooo easy Janis: Easier for you than it is me Janis: there's plenty of other girls who like the shit you like that aren't shitty people with it Janis: not entirely shitty, anyway, better Grace: & I'll just step into their friendship group & belong Grace: you have no idea Grace: You've never been friends with a group of girls before Janis: For good reason Janis: clearly Janis: it ain't that deep Janis: it doesn't have to be, you aren't 12 Grace: I wish I were Grace: It's easier then Grace: you can be friends with whoever Janis: You still can Janis: no one is forcing you but them Grace: no one else wants me Janis: sure they do Janis: just don't be so full on with it Janis: it ain't gonna be sleepovers every weekend or whatever at this age Janis: not at first especially Grace: I'll just change my entire personality 👌 Janis: You can Grace: You're so mean Janis: I'm not Janis: if you're sick of it then do something about it Grace: You are Grace: You want me to be a different person Janis: It's nothing to do with me, I don't care who you are Janis: You're bringing problems, I'm offering solutions Janis: also bit rich don't you think Grace: You're literally just saying everything's not that deep Grace: that's not a solution Grace: & I just want you to be A person, so no Janis: Because it isn't Janis: only your friends act like this, it's insanity Janis: and I am a person, whether you like it or not Grace: It isn't to you cos you don't know what it's like to be me Grace: and you know what I mean Grace: since she died you just pushed everyone away Janis: This has nothing to do with that Grace: Come on Grace: everything does, babes Janis: Nah Janis: Can try and use it as a copout but people stopped buying it a while back so I wouldn't bother Grace: That's not Grace: ugh why do you have to make everything so difficult? Janis: Me? Janis: You're the one that's got all the #problems tonight Janis: I'm chilling Grace: whatever Grace: I can't Janis: Have you tried? Grace: stop being such a bitch to me Grace: OMG Grace: I'm just gonna go Janis: Alright then Janis: have fun Grace: sure Janis: 🙄 for God's sake Janis: just send me the outfits Grace: I don't need the shotgun to my confidence thanks Janis: Don't be stupid Janis: I'm just going to tell you which is best Grace: No you wouldn't Grace: so like I said, no thanks Grace: I don't need it Janis: Yeah, fine Janis: you caught me Janis: just needed a laugh Janis: Laters then Grace: 👋 Janis: 🙄 Grace: maybe I'll see you when you bother to come back Grace: baited breath, like Janis: Why do you care Grace: obvs care too much about EVERYTHING so Grace: why not the only sister that's left Janis: Dramatic Janis: the other two aren't dead Grace: they don't answer their phones Grace: you still do even if you are a bitch Janis: More fool me, obviously Grace: yeah obvs Janis: Don't you have getting ready to do? Grace: I have cancelling to do Grace: it's one text Janis: Really Janis: What happened to not letting her win Grace: what happened to she already has? Janis: 'cos you let her Janis: and are going to this time too, cool Grace: no, 'cos I care & she doesn't Grace: you said it, you can't have forgotten it this fast Grace: literally can't win if we're going by that Janis: What sort of solution is to sit at Home and mope regardless Grace: what sort of solution is letting a boy see me like this? Please Grace: like it isn't cringe enough that I have to ask you to help me Janis: Cheers Janis: go fuck yourself then, like Grace: it's a better plan Grace: at least I know what I'm doing Grace: can't guarantee he does Janis: Don't be gross Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Grace: got the look, I'm just trying to match it 👌 Janis: Shut up Janis: You're so stupid Janis: what, you've got a few spots, yeah? your hair won't go right? Janis: who fucking cares Grace: You're stupid Grace: You literally don't know what you're talking about Janis: Because some lad ain't gonna shag you 'cos you don't look like your filtered selfies Janis: yeah and I'm clueless Janis: they don't care, you could be a different girl and they wouldn't notice Grace: cos I don't want to leave here if I don't! Janis: Then don't Janis: let that stop you and become a shut in Janis: sounds fun Grace: I hate you Janis: Nah Janis: we know who you hate Grace: Leave me alone Janis: Fine Grace: Good Grace: go annoy the barista Janis: Be more fun for me that's for sure Grace: I hope so or you really were lying Janis: 😂 you wish, babe Grace: I don't actually Grace: he seems nice Janis: 😏 Nice? Janis: You've got the wrong one or that was the world's most forced compliment Grace: 🙄🙄 Grace: I meant like he's not a fuckboy or whatever Grace: it'd be a shame if it was just for the 'gram Janis: Yeah, I'm such hot property everyone wants that brag on lock Grace: Ugh Grace: I'm just saying I do hope he likes you Grace: Forget it Janis: Yeah, I get it Janis: Don't worry about me, I'm fine Grace: I wasn't Grace: I was thinking how much it'd annoy Mia if you two get married or something Janis: Right well if I'm marrying someone to piss her off you can go on one measly date 👌 Grace: Well I already cancelled, so it's all up to you now, sorry Janis: 😑 Cheers Janis: get the invites out now Grace: she can have mine Janis: so dramatic Janis: as if you're turning down a wedding, no matter who's it is Grace: such a bad listener Grace: I just did Janis: 😂 Janis: ooh burn Janis: my imaginary guest list is shaking Grace: your guest list is nonexistent Grace: imaginary or not Grace: but the rest will make up the numbers so 👌 Janis: 💔 Grace: sure Grace: seriously, don't you have food to eat by now? Janis: I'm multitasking Janis: don't use my tongue to type Grace: he'll be 💔 if you keep ignoring him Grace: don't YOU let Mia win, babes Janis: Obvs Janis: ain't that what you recommend Janis: treat 'em mean keep 'em keen Grace: depends on the boy Grace: he wouldn't like it Grace: he's obvs too highkey Janis: You reckon? 😂 how many convos have you actually had with him, babe Grace: Duh Grace: I don't need to, I saw your little display, remember? Grace: & his artwork Grace: so 😍😍😍 Janis: Whatever you say Grace: whatever you say, he's YOUR boyfriend Grace: 🙄 Janis: Let's not get crazy though Grace: yeah so crazy that you like each other Janis: Gross 😉 Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: if you don't need anything I'm off for real then Grace: 👋

[punkscowardschampions]

Rio & Buster

Rio: Sorry about that Rio: her mans hasn't text her Buster: And that's closer to Drew's fault than it is mine Buster: But whatever Rio: I know Rio: she's really hurting this AM Buster: Yeah and he's got drugs Buster: What have I got? Buster: It's fine Rio: You know, father of the year coming through to save the day again Rio: Well, I appreciate all your help last night, even if she don't remember Buster: Good thing I didn't do it for her then Buster: I still reckon you should have left them to it and come with me Rio: Best I'm around in case it kicks off again Rio: Drew'll tire of it long before it's close to being sorted so Buster: I know Buster: I'm just bringing my selfishness into the new year Rio: I don't blame you Rio: Any other morning, like Buster: Let me know when he's gone and I'll circle back Buster: So long as Indie don't try and fight me about it, like Rio: 'Course Rio: Nah, sure her lad'll hit her up and she'll be outta here like a shot Buster: No offense to the kid but I hope so Buster: You got up so early 😒 Rio: Awh baby Rio: Knew she'd be laying there stewing otherwise Buster: Mothering duty calls I get it Rio: You know I'd rather be with you Rio: lowkey using the barricading skills you showed me rn so they leave me alone, like Rio: it ain't a party Buster: I'm getting breakfast and checking Edie's socials so lowkey feel like a dad Buster: Not a party either Rio: Hot 😏 Buster: Shut up Buster: You have no business looking that good in the AM without teasing me as well Rio: Now who's teasing Rio: I dread to think Buster: I mean it Buster: You're beautiful Rio: You're nice Rio: I feel like shit Buster: What can I do? Rio: Nah, nothing Rio: 'less you got an IV drip and a way to knock some sense into Indie and Edie without getting out the gloves, like Buster: I know places where that shit is trendy Buster: Among other things Rio: I don't doubt it, babe Buster: I can send someone round if you like Buster: It works Rio: With those two dossing in the front room? That wouldn't be shaming 🙄 Rio: I'll drink my water, don't worry Buster: Good girl Rio: Really Rio: I already miss you, don't be hitting me with that Buster: I can't help it Buster: I miss you too Buster: And Nance ain't bringing her A game to this outing Rio: Tell her she's gotta revel in the fact she weren't the holy show last night Buster: Already did Buster: Probably why she's pouting into her scrambled egg Buster: 😂 Rio: Aww Rio: There's still time, babe, make it your resolution and you've got all year Buster: I'm already trying to make her see that the barista is flirting with her not me Buster: My work is cut out Buster: She's gotta put hers in by firing back Rio: Fr, need a success story this morning Buster: She's as red as her hair, this ain't gonna happen Buster: I really did get all the game, like Rio: Leave her alone 😂 Rio: Poor girl Buster: Excuse me, you wanted me to play nice with the fam Buster: This barista is hot and Nance is welcome Rio: 😏 Appreciate the effort Rio: She clearly got your dose of shame too Buster: Unlucky Rio: Either that or she don't share your type Buster: That's a given Buster: I'm not trying to fuck no MILFS tempting as it'd be to piss James off by doing his mum Rio: Eww Rio: Too early for that, thank you Buster: She's not that bad Buster: a solid 7 Rio: Take your word for it Rio: Fortunately didn't meet her Buster: So that's a no to the threesome then? Buster: Shame Rio: 😂 Rio: Never say never, babe Buster: Picture the happy couple walking in on that, the only incentive you need Buster: Chlo thinks she knows freaky, nah babe Rio: She 'bouta find out Rio: he's weird as hell Buster: And she's vanilla as hell Buster: What a match Rio: Well out of it Rio: You reckon they even together still Rio: if they were Buster: I know they are Buster: Even both blocked I'm still seeing them somehow Rio: Lovely Buster: Do you want me to bring you some coffee or anything? Rio: That's okay baby Rio: Come back though, even if you have to bring work to do Buster: 'Course Buster: Soon as the coast is clear Rio: I don't care Rio: I live here too Buster: I just don't wanna make things worse for you, babe Buster: You know he winds me up Rio: We can ignore him Rio: I'm not sitting with them Buster: Alright Rio: You don't have to Rio: but I want you here Buster: I want to be there Buster: With you Rio: Good Rio: I fucking hate him, he's barely acknowledge what happened last night Buster: Yeah, I bet Buster: Such a cunt Rio: But I'm the one that's killing the vibe 'cos I don't wanna get high rn Rio: Okay Buster: It's literally morning Buster: I'm no pussy but come on Rio: Seriously, we ain't getting last night back, lads Rio: give it up now Buster: Should I bring food for Indie? Buster: She's gonna be fucked Rio: Yeah, get her back on side for sure Buster: She basically eats anything, yeah? Rio: Literally Rio: It's a madness where she puts it Buster: I'll grab some stuff for you too, if you don't want it I'm sure Indie'll eat it for you Rio: You're cute Buster: Getting my heroics in early, that's all Rio: Can't help yourself, right Buster: 'Course not Rio: Why I can't help but like you Buster: As long as it's not the only reason Rio: I know you want the list Buster: Yeah Rio: I'll work on it whilst you do your essays Buster: We'll see who finishes first Buster: Word count is key Rio: Damn, I was gonna hit it with the bullet points Rio: no slacking, I guess Buster: You're getting graded, babe Buster: Think on Rio: 🤤 Rio: Not got any 🍎s so I'll give it my all Buster: I'll take 🍑s you know Rio: 😂 we're alright then Rio: got that in abundance Buster: 😂 Buster: When did Nance get so chatty? Let me go Rio: You love it Rio: and I get a headstart, win win Buster: I love you Buster: And I miss you Rio: I miss you more Buster: Prove it Rio: How do you want me to do that today baby? Buster: Surprise me Buster: No offense to my sister but I'm bored Rio: I'll make it extra good then Rio: Hmm, gimme 5 Buster: Take 10 Rio: Generous as always Buster: You'll see how generous I can be when I get back Rio: You'll be feeling it Rio: Looking for that A, you know Buster: Yeah? Buster: Good Rio: [Snap] Buster: Well now you've got me thinking all kinds of things Rio: Yeah? Rio: Positively inspiring Buster: Babe Buster: Tell me I can't walk out and leave my sister sitting here 'cause that's all I want Rio: Be good now and I'll be as bad as you want Buster: That's why I love you Buster: Not that I'm writing you a list on a napkin right now, like Rio: Pretend it's for the waitress if you get caught, babe Buster: Obviously Buster: Doing my best as is to teach Nance how to flirt Buster: She's useless and it's weird Buster: People are gonna think we're a couple if she don't catch on to any of it soon Rio: 😬 She'd shut that down faster than you at least Rio: I hope you aren't matching today Buster: You know she'd make me change if we had been Rio: 😂 Rio: Bless Buster: Shame Chlo's blocked I could've sent her some twin time Buster: Really convince her of my incest kink Rio: 😒 Buster: Don't make that face Rio: [Sends actual grumpy face] Buster: You're so cute Rio: Then be nice Rio: I'm trying to think about you here, not that bitch Buster: I'm sorry baby Buster: I'll kiss you until I feel you smile again, okay Rio: It's a start 😋 Buster: And then I'll let you decide where you want me to go next Buster: Wherever cheers you up the most Rio: Want me to show you where I need it most? Buster: You know I do Rio: Tilt your phone, this ain't for anyone else, especially not your sister Rio: Sorry to disappoint, Chloe Rio: [Snap] Buster: I went into the bathroom, reckoning that would be the best idea Buster: I'm having so many flashbacks to last night Buster: Jesus Rio: You weren't wrong Rio: I keep touching, I can feel each individual hit, it's turning me on so much Buster: Fuck Buster: I need to touch you or myself right now Rio: Do it Rio: I can make you cum so fast if I want, we both know it Buster: Especially when you talk like that Rio: I want you to be as needy as me Buster: I'm there, trust me Rio: You're not Rio: Not until you've silently cum in that bathroom stall thinking about me riding you Rio: They're still here so I had to bite down on my pillow Buster: Rio Rio: Buster Buster: I can't be silent Buster: I can't Rio: I know Rio: It's one of the things that makes you so fucking hot Rio: I don't care, I want people to hear, know how I've got you Buster: If I bite my lip any harder it's gonna bleed, that's how you've got me Rio: You can handle it, baby Rio: Give me something to kiss better Buster: You can have anything Buster: Everything Rio: I want it all, all of you Rio: because you own me Buster: I'm all yours, babe Buster: This is for you too 'cause I want you so bad Rio: Fuck yourself like you'd fuck me if I was there with you Rio: I want you to cum so hard Buster: Baby I'm so close already Rio: Yeah you are Rio: I bet your dick is covered in precum now, I wish I was there to taste it Buster: Christ, Rio Buster: I fucking love you Rio: I love you Rio: You're everything, babe Buster: Tell me again Buster: Make me cum Rio: You're my everything, Buster and I fucking love you Rio: All I wanna do is make you happy and make you cum Buster: Oh my god, baby Buster: You're perfect Buster: I can't Rio: You can though Rio: it's why we work so well, you're just as bad as me Buster: Fuck Rio: You're cumming for me right now, aren't you, baby? Rio: Fuck Buster: I just came so hard saying your name Buster: Nobody better have heard that Rio: Jesus, you're so good Rio: too fucking good Rio: I wanted to hear it but I'll make you say it even louder when you get here Buster: Somehow I have to get my shit together so I can go and pay the bill Buster: It's fucking ridiculous what you can do to me without even being here Rio: Sorry, Daddy Rio: I bet you look so fucking good now, they gonna be too flustered to care Rio: It's the same for me, I never think about anyone else now, you're all my fantasies Buster: [sends pics because you know he would, shameless bastard] Buster: Keep thinking about me Buster: I'll be there soon Rio: 😻 Rio: Okay how are you real Buster: Says you Buster: On another level of beautiful, like Rio: You make me feel so good Buster: Good 'cause that's all I wanna do Rio: but I have one question Buster: Go on Rio: Can I touch myself or do I need to wait for Daddy? Rio: I wanna be good for you but it aches Buster: I want you to do it Buster: You need to feel as good as I do Rio: Your hands are so big and rough it feels so good on the most sensitive parts of me Buster: I know, babe Buster: It's why I never wanna stop touching you Rio: I wish we could just fuck forever sometimes Rio: Any time I'm not with you feels wasted Buster: Me too Buster: But you look so good wanting me too so it's not ever wasted Rio: You can watch me want you 'til you're hard again Rio: I'll do all the work, you've earnt it Buster: You've the hottest girl I've ever seen never mind met Rio: And I'm all for you Rio: Don't get mad 'cos this is a little fucked up to say but I hope he hears you fucking me, 'cos he could never and will never Rio: Me moaning your name over and over like a prayer Buster: I'm not mad Buster: You're mine and I want him to know it Rio: Good Rio: Me too Buster: I hope he gets mad Rio: Yeah? Buster: He needs to realise that you're never gonna want anyone as much as you want me Buster: And he's never gonna need you as badly as I do Rio: He really does Rio: and now I really want you to show him Buster: I will Buster: All day if that's what it takes Buster: I'll fuck you so hard and loud your whole street will know it Rio: Even if he gets the message before then like Rio: Please Buster: I know what you need, babe Buster: It's not about him, that's just a bonus Rio: Just when I think I can't love you any more Buster: You're gonna have to marry me, sorry about it Rio: Well, you have ruined me for anyone else Rio: No other boys are like you Buster: Don't forget it Rio: Promise Buster: I promise I won't let you either Buster: I'm always gonna make you feel this good Rio: You really mean that, don't you? Buster: Yeah Buster: I don't know how to do anything else, not with you Buster: It's how you make me feel Rio: Good, it really is all I want Rio: for you to be happy and for me to be happy with you Buster: Wish granted, like Buster: I'm finally leaving Rio: 🙌 Buster: I don't even have to give Nance a lift either 'cause she's shopping or some shit Buster: So actually won't be long Rio: Clearly doing something right, like Rio: God or 🍀 whatever you want working in our favour for once Buster: Yeah, as much as I'm the only god you really need, the other bloke ain't doing bad right now Rio: He's the OG wingman when you got him on side, I'm telling you Buster: I hope he ain't the jealous type then 'cause you know you're gonna be praying to me before him Rio: 'Course not Rio: Practically encouraged Rio: if we pretend the birth control ain't there but shh, he turns a blind eye to when I go down the clinic and I turn one to all the suffering, like Buster: Let's never pretend that though Rio: Doesn't do it for me either, I promise you that Buster: That's why you're the one I'm with and not the one we ain't talking about anymore ever Buster: Well, one of the countless reasons, like Rio: I'll take that, happily Buster: I love you, Rio. So much Rio: I love you too Rio: You make me forget that right now isn't perfect 'cos I feel it when you're around Buster: Me too Buster: You're so perfect I'll take that and deal with whatever shit I have to Rio: Together Rio: You don't need to do it all alone anymore Buster: You either Rio: Thank you Buster: You never have to say that to me Rio: I do though 'cos I don't think anyone has ever acknowledged I have shit to deal with Rio: not to be all woe is me about it but Buster: I know they haven't, but like I said before, I know what you need, babe Buster: I'm here for you whatever Rio: How do you know what I need Rio: It's crazy Buster: I don't know Buster: I just do Buster: Maybe I always have Rio: Yeah Rio: I think so Rio: That's how it feels Buster: It's like how you know who I actually am Buster: Not to be that cunt about it Rio: Exactly though Rio: I would've never admitted it, even a year or so back but Rio: I don't know Rio: I knew you were different Buster: Yeah Buster: Why do you think I couldn't come near you, like Rio: Yeah Rio: I know we had to get our shit together and heads sorted- ish Rio: but I wish I'd had you sooner still Buster: You did Buster: That kiss still happened Rio: True Buster: I wanted to be around you all the time back then Rio: When you had the misfortune of being in Dublin, like 😉 Buster: It used to make me so mad when I had to go home Rio: Yeah? Buster: Yeah, I loved it, being here Buster: I don't know when that changed Buster: How I chose London and all those cunts instead Rio: I get it Rio: It was more permanent, more stable Rio: you could only be here properly in the holidays, who wants to come somewhere and feel like they've missed out on so much Rio: Especially when Nance moved too Buster: When she chose here it was like I couldn't have it Buster: Even if I wanted to Buster: It's stupid but Rio: Nah, I see it Rio: I mean, it wasn't you why she left but, it hit too close for comfort for both of you Buster: Enough of it was me Rio: You both had some shit to sort Rio: who doesn't Rio: but I'd say you're both getting there now, yeah? Buster: I'm trying 'cause I didn't before, not hard enough Buster: I didn't want her to stay 'cause she knows me too, even if she didn't reckon I was still that same person, like Buster: It was too hard having her around so I didn't make it easy for her to be Rio: Yeah Rio: Shit is hard enough without giving yourself a hard time, you were doing what you had to for an easy time Rio: Doesn't excuse it or make it right but you can make it right now, like Buster: Yeah Buster: I'm gonna go to Uni here, I've decided Buster: Wherever Nance goes, this is still home for her Buster: And you're here, most importantly Rio: That'll be so good Rio: I'm really excited now Buster: We won't have to do this back and forth bullshit any more Buster: I'll just be here Rio: Have to go more places together to get that platinum membership now, like Rio: but still, what could be better Buster: Exactly Buster: That said, I am nearly there, so I have a few ideas of what could come close Rio: Oh yeah? I'm all ears, baby Buster: I'm gonna make you cum so many times that it won't only be Drew wanting me to stop Buster: You'll be so sensitive to me I'll have you begging Rio: 😩😩😩 Rio: This is me giving full permission to ignore me though because I want that so bad Rio: don't stop 'til you're fully satisfied daddy Buster: I won't be satisfied until you've said my name enough to lose your voice Rio: Oh my God, Buster Buster: Yeah, just like that, babe Rio: Just practicing 😂😋 Buster: Good Buster: Be ready for me Rio: We're beyond ready Rio: You shouldn't have let me play with myself Rio: I'm messy Buster: I'll clean you up, babe, it's okay Rio: If you don't stop, I'm gonna be saying your name before you even get here Buster: Say it Buster: Let him know how bad you want me already Rio: Okay Rio: I'm not even embarrassed, this is just how good you are Buster: Fuck yourself like I'm there watching Buster: I want you weak for me when I am Rio: Yes, sir Buster: Hurry up though 'cause I'm nearly at your door Buster: You have to cum before I get back, yeah? Rio: Fuck Rio: I'm so close, I can feel it Buster: Don't stop Rio: I won't baby Rio: Tell me to cum for you, oh God please Buster: Go harder now Buster: It's time to cum for me baby Rio: I'm fucking myself so hard he can probably hear exactly how wet my pussy is for you Buster: Yeah he can Rio: This is all for you Buster: Tell me you love me so he knows it too Rio: Buster I love you I love you Buster: I love you Rio: I don't know if I've ever cum like that just with my hand Rio: Jesus Buster: You've been such a good girl for me I'll let myself in Buster: Don't move Rio: I don't think I can, and that's without factoring in how much it makes me melt when you call me your good girl so Buster: If I need you in a different position, I'll move you, don't worry Rio: Come in here and show me how big and strong you are Buster: Just delivering Indie's food and checking out how mad Drew already is Buster: I almost wish you could move so you'd know Rio: Serious? Rio: You're gonna have to fill me in more ways than one then Buster: I will, I promise

[punkscowardschampions]

Rio & Indie

Rio: How did you even? Rio: Soz Bills but this is next level sorcery! Indie: nah man it werent no militant thing Indie: when your ride that crutterz whatever i did was gonna make it less clappin' innit Indie: plus your boy mad distracting 👌 i been knew Rio: Too real 😂 could hear me coming, like Rio: giving the boy racers a run for their money and I ain't even tryna hang, lads 😬😷 Rio: Idk how yous even managed it seriously but 👏 Indie: could here you cumming too bitch i knew i had time 😏😂 Indie: forreal tho you better not drag without me 👑 of the strip like so gimme them 2s Indie: thank me with that good 🎂 fore the sibs take every slice Rio: Ew shut up 😂 Rio: 'Course, babe Rio: Not racing for pinks now you got my motor so 🔥 tho Rio: Can have Ro's Rio: baby might want some of that taste sensation like but 🤷 Indie: tell yourself and your mans 👌🤐 Indie: yeah your whip is beast now if i do say myself after clocking in dem hours Indie: gotta hit drew with his share of that sugar cos he did help me source Indie: but unlucky younger you ain't getting yours 😂 Rio: PLEASE Rio: I know you ain't been hearing when I been trying so hard Rio: full time occupation keeping it 🤐 legit Rio: I love it Rio: That's good, nothing like bonding under the hood of a car right? Indie: is it? then how am i clued that mckenna aint the strong silent type that he is in the streets 😏 boy got some volume Indie: gurl we need more paper if you want that privacy cos thats how the walls be in this drum Indie: yeah? i love you bitch 💖 Indie: naaaah you kno he aint getting himself dirty like that with no oil or grease Indie: 💰 only Indie: & he took me buying off them travellers and DAMN how some of those lads be 😍 Rio: Imma pretend I didn't hear THAT 'cos I ain't about to share his secrets 😏 Rio: I'll work on it then 😜 Rio: Always gon' love you bitch 🧡 Rio: What a tart 🙄 Rio: Not you though don't be tryna give me grey hairs already gurl 😂 Indie: 😂 Indie: me too cos you the only 1 getting that work done free baby Indie: 💖💖💖 Indie: gotta look good for his fancy piece innit 🏥 Indie: catch me on site tryna get grabbed rn giving you all the alone time w mckenna you be needing Rio: Trust, feeling that special with it 💖👸 Rio: 'Course, not that he's afraid of hard graft or anything, nah 😏 Rio: Hold up on the heart attack you gonna give Ma Rio: 'cos about to both have all that alone time 🛫🏖 Indie: safe 👑 Indie: nah nah 😂 hardest working rudeboy in the 24 Indie: self titled drew innit tho Indie: ma can get in line cos how these boys are got me feelin i could have one of my own 😍😍 mines bout to stop on the words they say & them accents Indie: gotta play hard like my wifey do so i dont get vexed being here in this temp at this time Indie: stuck schoolin & hustlin like 😒 Rio: 😂 Rio: I ain't no snitch so I'll keep it on the dl Rio: but bitch knows her way 'round that site herself so 👀 out for her even if your 💘 is gone like Rio: Poor baby 😟😥 Promise it's your turn next, anywhere you wanna Indie: ✌✌✌ Indie: its chill ill party like its my bday & im legal Indie: cant keep a rudegirl down Indie: gimme the 411 on how mckenna did tho did he come through w your 💍 or nah Rio: Gotta have one on me, like Rio: wouldn't be polite otherwise 😋 Rio: [pics] Rio: Bitch, when I tell you I can't even Indie: 😮😮 bitch WTF Indie: how he out here doing it like that?? Indie: boy stop Indie: but like dont Rio: I know Rio: and you're gonna see where we're going Rio: it's ridiculous Rio: he's ridiculous Indie: 😍😍😍 Indie: and you dont want me on his friends bitch EXCUSE ME Indie: i gotta tap this demo Rio: I thought we was all about the travellers now? Rio: if I can't keep up with you idk how these lads stand a chance 💔😉 Indie: allow it Indie: not trying to get wifey'd by anyone else Indie: & no lad has said yeah to my 💘 yet Indie: hmu all of yous Rio: At the risk of sounding older than the 18 I'm repping now Rio: Enjoy the ride, babe Rio: way more fun Indie: 😂😂 Indie: this boy tho i need him 💰 or nah Rio: Gimme the deets then! Indie: i gotta go back & get em im pure 💘 from first 👀 Rio: You best hmu when you do Rio: just 'cos Imma be in paradise don't mean I'm not still mumsie Indie: if you dont hear then you know i been owned by my 😍 & hes some chief wasteman who just thinks he bad Rio: all been there Rio: and you know, can't be judging whilst you keeping my secret can I? Indie: ma please thats your whole job 😂 it is how my step be doin it like Rio: I'll let her cover it then Rio: be the cool mum we all know i'm destined to be Indie: is it? Indie: can you be cool & tell her to hurry up and drop so the baby girl can vex her stead of me Indie: living so dry rn Rio: You reckon that'll make her any cooler? Rio: Mumming even harder, just you wait babe Indie: 😒😒 Indie: tell her i got loads of mas then Rio: Bless Rio: least we're back on so you don't have to live with her and Drew, like Indie: 🙏🙏 foreal tho shes flatroofin me from afar i cant be running in that house no more Indie: dont leave me woman Rio: Promise Rio: that said, a bitch be packing Indie: not gonna say take me w this time cos i kno what you finna do w that boy Indie: 😏 mad jealous Rio: 🤐 remember Indie: trust Indie: if i go back for that lad tonite is that too hype? its been a minute since i was there but idk Rio: Nah, go for it babe Indie: ✌✌ Indie: garda better keep things jam cos i aint asking drew for a ride there Rio: Not the vibe getting your Da to take you to a dick appointment, like Indie: 😂😂 Indie: hes been in a weird vibe Indie: must be cos the 👶 is due soon Rio: Yeah? Rio: Know he ain't go as hard as mine but hardly new to the game Indie: first time hes done it standard tho Indie: still no excuse to get so high off your own supply tho Indie: idk man Indie: maybes hes having a midlife Indie: maybe shes just driving him how she do me Rio: God knows Rio: ain't your job to stress it tho Rio: leave that to them, like Indie: innit Indie: just dont let mckenna put one in you Indie: its a madness how she flips Rio: Err no chance Rio: I bet Rio: already highly strung bless her, then you throw a load of hormones at her, nah, I'm good Indie: you can rep that how you like babe but aint none of our parents tryna bring us & still we out here vibin Indie: least they wanted this one like Rio: Yeah but I've heard of birth control 🙄 Rio: You think she'll make him marry her? Rio: Get a dress, like Indie: how un 🍀 of you bitch 😂 Indie: yeah shes been after a 💍 since she landed back in his bed Indie: better not try and put me in no dress Rio: 😂 matching with your younger Rio: so cute Indie: allow it Indie: ill 🛑 that shit fore i agree that Rio: 😬 no one needs to see that Indie: or other mckenna snapping the day like she needs the 💰 Indie: wheres the peng one taking you then? Rio: fr fr Rio: Maldives baby Rio: I'll send you all the pics Indie: 😮😮😮😮 Indie: that boy gon kill me & i aint even going Indie: don't send me ALL the pics tho I dont need 👀 for what ive already 👂 Rio: this place gon' kill me Rio: i been some places but damn Rio: behave Rio: gotta pay for that privilege honey 💁 Indie: when you fam & she still tryna charge 😂 Indie: tax a celeb hottie aint that how & where they hang? Rio: You want that new drum babe Rio: 🤞 Indie: hells yeah i want that new yard for a 🐶 Indie: make it happen ma Rio: 💪 here's hoping there's a becks or some shit out here Indie: spoke like mckenna aint dropping that dime on you standard Indie: lookin & actin all 😇 Indie: 💸💸💸 Rio: Think asking for a new gaff is taking the piss though 😉 Indie: IS IT THO 😂 Indie: boy down to move you in if he coulda Rio: I don't think he down to be livin' in the 24 tho 😏 Indie: bitch you know id change postcode if i can party in his Rio: You'd hate it 😂 Indie: nah all dem rich rudeboys wanna slum it for a nite Indie: hmu lads Rio: been there done that Rio: 'less they upped their game Rio: not worth the plane ticket Indie: waste 💔 Rio: truly Rio: keep rinsing their da's, like Indie: if youd let me babe ✌ Rio: bitch, not you ⛔ Indie: jokes Indie: imma link my gypsy prince Rio: 👍 Rio: how many 👙s do I need Indie: how long he ticking you away from me & these ends for? Rio: only a week Rio: should be in school, like Indie: 😂 Indie: at choir practice or some posho shit like Indie: but forreal like you dont wanna repeat gotta keep the looks fresh and the game 🔥 Rio: 😂 can you imagine Rio: lawd Rio: yeah, fuck it, one for every day and a spare it is 😉 Indie: 👑👑 rep that Indie: you kno that boy gon be carrying more clothes than a store Rio: Well, he ain't dodging those extra baggage charges by putting shit in my case, like Indie: 💔 Indie: honeymoon off fore its on Rio: When I can't quit being a bitch 🤷 Rio: awks Indie: you bad & he loves it Rio: hope so Rio: don't need domestics in the airport forreal Rio: don't kill my vibe boy Indie: 😂 Indie: bitch like he could when youre ✈ maldives Rio: Yeah we both gon' put up and shut up for that view Indie: forreal gon be lush Indie: im vexed but stealth bout it Indie: save you that domestic baby Rio: We gon' brawl when I'm back? Rio: Okay, I'll prepare my best dramatics in my downtime Indie: depends how im vibin Indie: got my own plans for this week Rio: Aside from riding a gypsy or? Indie: thats day 1 gurl Indie: keep w me Indie: drew best not be trying to chill & ruin my empty Indie: brawl him no drama Rio: Do my best Rio: and if you change the locks on him, send us a key, like Indie: innit tho Indie: get to steppin man Indie: your drum be lavish use it Rio: When he ever there man Rio: how they found time to make this baby is impressive if not gross Indie: 😂 Indie: no shade but im shook she could Rio: Literally though Rio: could call her a medical miracle, might not clock the shade over the ego boost Indie: good she aint here cos im creased rn Indie: their life is mad jokes Rio: s'alright, she can take a good laugh at mine if she gotta Indie: please your life is bare hectic 💖👑 Indie: dont trip Rio: Doubt the Cambs med student turned super doc is jelly tho 😜 Indie: what she kno? shes drews piece & he still more about you 😂 Rio: Shut up Indie: ✌ Rio: You crazy Indie: he is Indie: for ya Indie: chatting at me about how you grown good Rio: He really is high Indie: you kno Indie: old man relax 😂 Rio: Nasty Rio: gimme my card and cash and begone Indie: gimme your slice of cake too drew cos you aint eating for two Indie: abs are welcome like Rio: 😂 Rio: sometimes i reckon you are Rio: you and ya tapeworm Indie: big love Indie: even if i am marv Rio: 🧡🧡🧡 Indie: keep me knowin & ill give you same back 💖 Rio: 'Course, goes without saying Rio: ✌ out lil one Indie: safe

[punkscowardschampions]

Junior & Nancy

Junior: What are you gonna do? Nancy: I've never had less of an idea Nancy: What can I do? Junior: I wish I knew for you Junior: But no, I don't Junior: By the time I worked it out, I knew it was too late but maybe if I'd said something to you, we could've avoided it playing out like this Junior: I'm sorry Nancy: Don't apologise to me, please, I can't start sobbing outside of this office Nancy: You've done nothing wrong. It's me who messed everything up Junior: I'm sorry, no wait, scrap that Junior: You can't help what you felt Junior: You're not the first person to get a crush, everyone's just acting like it for the drama of the thing Nancy: But I chose to act on it Nancy: You didn't see her face. It was... Nancy: I've got no words for it Junior: Oh, Nance Junior: There's no other way she could react, or would've Junior: I'm not judging but how did you get this caught up? Its not like you Nancy: I thought she wanted me to. Genuinely I'm not just making an excuse Nancy: We had a connection. The way we'd talk, I didn't imagine that, I can't have Junior: At best though, that could never be more than friendship, she's a married teacher, a straight one Junior: not to go over it now, you know Junior: What a mess Junior: Tristan is being Junior: its bad Nancy: He has a right to Nancy: I'm so stupid, oh my god Nancy: They couldn't hold of mum or dad yet but when they do... Junior: Yeah but, he's trying to make it something it ain't, get the anger but I wish he'd keep the gay hate to a minimum Junior: Oh God, babe Junior: how mortifying Junior: I'll find a hole to bury you in Nancy: Thanks Nancy: I've literally become a lesbian stereotype. The predatory one Nancy: If my brother ever finds out I'm gonna have to get you to bury him too Junior: We're doing our best to keep it on the DL, strictest of confidence Junior: but if your rents talk to mine, he'll suddenly take an interest no doubt, eurgh Junior: You weren't being predatory, at least, that's now how you meant it Junior: and she's in the position of power so she always had the upper hand to push you away Junior: which, I guess, she did in the end Junior: would've been helpful if she'd have clued up before now but we can't blame her Nancy: I'm gonna have to move back, aren't I? How can I stay here. I can't Nancy: I love her and I've done this to her Nancy: What if she loses her job because of me? I might have wanted him to leave her, or vice versa, but I never wanted that Junior: Not necessarily Junior: She won't Junior: Not to rub salt in an open wound but its very clear it came from you and not her Junior: Its not going to come to that Junior: There's only this year left, we can stick it out together, I've got you Junior: anyway, rumours follow, don't they? Idk how but that's the magic of teens, better if you face it head on Junior: own it in the ways you can Nancy: You make everything sound so straightforward, no play on words meant Nancy: I should have told you everything Junior: I get why you didn't Junior: it got to be real when it was just in your head Junior: wow, sounds harsh but, yeah? Nancy: I'm gonna hear much worse Nancy: At least you're coming for a good place Junior: We need to decide on your side of the story, so we can stick to it Nancy: What's the point? Everyone already knows what happened Junior: Yeah, there's definitely the key facts you're not gonna be able to run from Junior: but its all about how you sell it Nancy: What are you saying I should do? I can't throw her under the bus Junior: No, of course not Junior: I'm not explaining it well 'cos I can't do it myself Junior: but you know, the old, hold your head up high regardless of how you're really feeling Junior: acting as if you're not as phased as you are, too, not lying about what happened, just acting as like its less of a thing so people will get bored, you know? Nancy: Have you met my mum? Holding my head up high won't be a problem Nancy: Casually trained at it Junior: Yeah, no, good Junior: I know its gonna be hard Junior: but it will help this all be over sooner Nancy: That'd be nice Nancy: It's new for the rumor mill but not me Junior: How long? Nancy: Since I came here, pretty much Junior: Oh, honey Junior: That's such a long time to have those kind of feelings Nancy: I know Nancy: How did I get here? Junior: I dunno Junior: We all build things up in our minds, fantasies and that Junior: it just got out of hand because it was uncheck Junior: like I said, you're not the first or last Junior: Its okay, it will be alright Nancy: You're only saying that to make me feel better, I get that, but it's kind of working anyway Junior: I'm honestly not Junior: You know what went down wasn't cool but I think the outcome is more than enough punishment without me needing to be a dick about it Nancy: but I wouldn't blame you if you were Nancy: You asked me so many times who I fancied, if I'd just said, it would have stopped it, I would have come to my senses enough not to try and kiss her Junior: But you wanted to Junior: more than you wanted to be logical and sensible Junior: for better, or worse, as its transpired Junior: its easy to beat yourself up about it now Nancy: I should've beat myself up before hand Nancy: Repeatedly over the head Junior: I'll get you a time-turner and a mallet, like Nancy: Much appreciated Nancy: Can you arrange a bodyguard too, for Rio more than Tristan tbh Nancy: She's gonna be livid Junior: Not with you Junior: She'll get it better than me, she's had her fair share of crushes, I'm sure Nancy: Have you really not? Nancy: Envy you at this point Junior: Nope Junior: I'm like a sexless slug Nancy: They have a nicer label for that, to let you know Junior: Yeah, I'm not into that Junior: Never say never, you know Nancy: Unlike you have my judgement Nancy: Unless* Nancy: Never say never with your straight, married, teacher Junior: When is it okay to laugh cos like Nancy: Go ahead Nancy: We have to Nancy: I can't cry rn and still face everyone Nancy: I'm not THAT good at holding my head high Junior: are you gonna take some time off or just Junior: face it from the jump Nancy: I think if I walk away it'll just make it harder to come back Nancy: If I'm staying here then I need to carry on Junior: Agreed, from that POV, definitely the best thing to do Junior: but don't force yourself to do things you can't Junior: we can go cry in the toilets whenever you need, okay? Nancy: Have a gorgeous mascara moment Nancy: Maybe my mum will force on a flight back to London Junior: Maybe Junior: Or roll up on you here Junior: such fun Nancy: Oh god, she probably will Nancy: I know I brought it on myself but....please no Nancy: Parent swap with me really quick? Junior: They'd despair but give it my best Junior: At least your Dad is going to be too awkward to say anything Junior: Small blessing Nancy: I wish that was a like father like son trait Junior: Thank god for the mute button Junior: shame it doesn't cover all communications, including IRL Nancy: Honestly Nancy: If I thought I hated Irish class before Junior: Yeah, no escaping how bad that's gonna be Junior: 😬 Nancy: If I pretend I've had a straight awakening now will that make it better or worse Nancy: She turned me everybody, nothing to see here Junior: I think it'll take you from the butt of the gay jokes to the butt of the slag ones Junior: which might be easier to handle but Junior: might have to display some straightness and we're not a convincing couple to say the least Nancy: Plus you're my cousin Nancy: That'd just create more rumors Junior: Yeah preferably you're going straight for someone not in the fam Junior: Idk, who are the most elligible bachelors around Junior: Hmm Nancy: Tristan's off the table Nancy: Lovehate only happens in YA Junior: Plus, all that rage, probably closeted himself, if we're following the rules of YA to the letter Nancy: And if we're going classical, he probably wants to sleep with his mum too Junior: 🤢 Junior: oh no Junior: flip the script on 'em, go for a younger boy Junior: preferably not weird young, like year below tops Nancy: Oh god Nancy: Boys are so Nancy: Even hypothetically it's a no Junior: 😂 Junior: I don't think you're gonna be pulling this off effectively any time soon Nancy: You're right. Back to the drawing board I go Nancy: Thanks, June, for talking me off the ledge Junior: Wouldn't be worth much as a bestie if I didn't Junior: we've got this Junior: it only FEELS like the end of the world Junior: that's comforting, right? 😏 Nancy: Until I think about how bad you said Tristan is handling what happened Junior: Yeah, well, reckon Rio will be having words Junior: he just needs to get it out of his system Junior: look sufficiently sorry and miserable and he should be satisfied, then you can get on with your life, like Nancy: I do feel sorry and miserable so as long as I can get it across instead of looking like a unrepentant bitch Nancy: We'll see Junior: Yeah Junior: he's not awful, like Junior: It probably sucks having teacher parents, but that ain't a reason to take out years of frustration on this sitch Nancy: He can't be that bad, she raised him Junior: Oh, babe Junior: you've got it so bad Nancy: I wish there was a mute button for feelings Junior: You've got to start putting in the work Junior: Conscious uncoupling Nancy: That'll be as much fun as having the chat with my parents Junior: I didn't promise fun Junior: Strictly business Nancy: This is why lesbians die at the end of every movie, isn't it? Nancy: No fun Junior: Mhmm, its not just bed death you've gotta avoid Junior: its alright, you've been scorned, that'll further your plot development, no need to die today Nancy: Just living with the heartbreak then. Fantastic Junior: Unfortunately Junior: Its survivable, so I'm told Junior: and there's lots of songs and films on the subject to keep you company Nancy: You're angling for a hetero rom-com watching session because the male leads are always hot. I see you Junior: You need some straight drama in your life Junior: it will make you feel so much better about your own Nancy: Her being straight was a big part of my drama Junior: Yes and no Junior: Even if she was gay, Nance, it wouldn't have happened, alright? Junior: You need to remember that Junior: what if you have a nice lesbian lecturer at Uni, you don't wanna go through this again, thinking it'll be different Junior: its a no go whatever the circumstances Nancy: I know Nancy: I'm trying Nancy: I don't want to go through this again Junior: I know Junior: Its a complete perspective overhaul Junior: It'll take time Junior: you'll get there Nancy: I better Nancy: I don't wanna be stuck here in this place Junior: You won't be Junior: You've got a whole life of new, better experiences waiting Nancy: Brain swap? If I was as smart as you I could graduate early Junior: You're plenty smart, its truly not that far off now Junior: Final stretch Nancy: You're right. It just feels like forever rn Nancy: My own fault Junior: It does though Junior: clock watching all day every day Nancy: Definitely Nancy: Same

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy

Fake dating begins!

Janis: Grace wants to buy you a coffee for being such a gent. Janis: If I was you I'd have a freebie black and charge it to her tab. Her and her cronies are in there enough, and it'll save you having to endure a frappe/her and said giggling gal pals. Jimmy: Me and her or a group hang with the BBs for the 'gram? Jimmy: 👍I did that last week and the one before Janis: Depends. She obvs wants alone time with you but she's never passed up a #goals photo-op in her life, so. Janis: Can't be freeing the nip on Insta but maybe she's got a private snapchat she wants to whore out, you'll be well in then 👍 Janis: Christ. Good to know not ALL her money goes on Brazilian blow-outs, she's also topping up the salary of every hot barista in town, what a philanthropist she is, amongst other less favourable titles. Jimmy: If you can be arsed to 3rd wheel this I'll shout you something from the secret menu Jimmy: Which exists swear down and isn't just a invite to my snapchat Jimmy: Why am I worried Brazilian blow outs is a way bigger euphemism any day Janis: Hmm. As much as I try to avoid spending ANY time with Grace, for obvious reasons as you well know, it could be pretty amusing to see her make such a twat out of herself. And it would piss her off if I gatecrashed...Fuck it, I'm in. Janis: Don't get any ideas about making some taboo twin content though, lad, that only happens in the minds of pervy porn execs, and in weird old lady novels from the 80s. Janis: Lol. Yeah, it ain't a Cavante special. Its to make her look MORE white, funnily enough. As if the coffee habits and UGGs weren't making her a literal meme for the cause already. Jimmy: I'd rather down a strawberry açaí refresher with coconut milk every time Grace makes a gaff, which funnily enough is what necking with your sister's tall mate tastes like, than get sandwiched between the two of you Jimmy: I'd shout her a flat white if she'd get the joke though. One for each of them Jimmy: 😩 Janis: OMG, girl code, Grace sooooo saw you first, Tammy is gonna be out on her flat white arse when Gracie finds out, like 💀 Janis: The feeling's mutual, dickhead. Wouldn't put it past my sister though, she's more obsessed with me than she'd EVER be with you. 🤢 At least she'll be moving on when you finally give in and give it to her, I've got a life fucking sentence, mate. ⚰ Jimmy: OMG Minnie (??? Isn't that her name maybe) launched herself at me first and I'd be out on my penniless arse if I'd let her crack on over the counter ⛔ Jimmy: I like my encounters with a little less ego it's no crime. Or slight on you, mate. Jimmy: I'll tell Gracie that if she ever lets me get a word in. Janis: Fuck knows. All look the same to me. Ironic if it is, though, fucking jolly green giantess. Janis: And soz but sexual assault ain't no crime either when you're them though, they're just being #girlbosses swear down garda 💋 Janis: Good luck with that one, kid. Even if she gives you the chance, she won't be listening. Fucks with the fairytale where you shut the fuck up and carry her bags 'cept to call her pretty once in a while for said ego's boost. 🙊🙉 Janis: oh, and look good in the 'gram, standard. Jimmy: Could be what the lads call her... whoops Jimmy: Damn. I'll have to spoil her fun by letting it be known I've got myself a girl already. 🎻 Shame it'll take me years to find one who can stand the interrogation 💔 Jimmy: Gotta get Cass to keep her ear low. Effort. Janis: The 'lad's' secret is safe with me, the 'girls' are hardly likely to listen and I'm even less likely to bother to tell 'em. She'd just think #pussygamestrong 'neway so I ain't giving the bint that unwarrant stroke when you've all already been there, done that. Sloppy. Janis: Woe is, lad. Like everyone ain't on your dick rn 'cos you got that shiny, new appeal. Just pick one that ain't TOTALLY unbearable- ah, I see your problem. Janis: Sadly, I can't help, I ain't the massive lezza you've no doubt heard from the lads and girls alike that I am. Janis: Slim pickings either way you swinging, you see. Jimmy: You can help me then. Go on. Think how mad it'd make Gracie if nuffin' else Jimmy: Counter distance between us at all times if you want Janis: Aside from pissing off my sister, which I'm more than capable of by me larry, what's in it for me? You get her off your dick and back into Costa to cry it out, like Jimmy: Freebies of any of Common Grounds finest where you can also hang without her and her hangers on Jimmy: Semi trained mutt if I can wrench it from my sisters grasping hands? Jimmy: Plus an end to the rumors if you're arsed about that. You said yourself I've got the newbie appeal Janis: Alright, alright, you had me at dog! Janis: I won't deprive your sister but I could do with an AM running partner who can keep up. I'll wear it out and have it back to you at the end of your morning shift, before she's even had her weetabix or found her school tie. Deal? Janis: I'm down for writing our own rumours, why the fuck not, eh Jimmy: Done. Her name's Twix and she's as annoying as the name makes her sound. Jimmy: Get ready for rumors about how many bodies she's buried for you after all the holes dug Janis: Cute. And I'm sure I've dealt with worse bitches, I'm up for the challenge. 💪 Janis: Its always the dog walkers init, suspicious cunts. Jimmy: Yeah, and if you wanna bury a few of 'em yourself I'll keep my lips sealed Jimmy: Tomorrow too soon? Janis: Good man, you will if you know what's good for you. Janis: Though, not too sealed, gotta set this dump's/my sister's world alight, like, and I don't think that's happening if we just hold hands. 😲 Janis: Nah, I'm ready. Only thing I got scheduled is double chem and that can always do with livening up. Janis: How you wanna do this, lover boy? Jimmy: Point taken. I better work on my angles too. For the 'gram. Jimmy: With minimal cliches if that can even be a thing round 'ere Jimmy: Probably wouldn't believe it without 100s would they Janis: You best, I don't know how to work facetime, you've got the wrong twin there. Janis: Well, I could oh-so casually ask Grace if her and the bitch squad are going for coffee on the way home from hell (as if they don't every fucking day) and she will be buzzin' thinking I wanna come 'cos she's always asking/attempting to drag me like she's on a mission from the coffee bean gods Janis: Then we can be there, together, oh-so casually again Janis: Aside from sucking face on the playground (which is a little first school, even for these hoes) its the best way to get max attention and thus the rumour mill will do the rest Jimmy: Make sure Tall Tammy's at the back. Can't have Grace missing it Jimmy: See if you can get one of them to spill coffee on you too. Everyone loves a heroic gesture and a clothes share 😏 Janis: 😂 Brilliant. Janis: Assuming Grace doesn't straight up throw it at me, I'll be sure to make that happen. Janis: I'll probably come chat to you at lunch tomorrow too. Can't have this springing out of nowhere, like, how implausible! 😏 You hang with Sean Bryne and that atm, yeah? Jimmy: Yeah we'll be in the smoking spot if not our usual corner Jimmy: I'll slide into the seat beside you the period after make it look like we got it really bad 💘 Janis: 👍 twos up on the ☠ 🚬 then, lad. what could be more romantic? Janis: good thinking, grace is in that class too and she's hopeless with maths so she won't be paying the slightest bit of attention to anything but the absolute scandal Jimmy: What should I call you so you don't wanna punch me in the dick as soon as I go in for a pet name? Janis: Eurgh, good shout, even if it is just to save your own bollocks, can't blame a boy. I don't fucking know, what's not vomit-inducing but also #couplegoals enough to make it worth the hassle? Janis: Blah, just remember my name, yeah, that'll have 'em creaming. Such courtesies are not often extended their way, like. Jimmy: Deal. And I'll # everything #JJ so you can block it from your feed easy Janis: Solid. Janis: Imma take a picture with your dog tomorrow, it best be fucking cute. Jimmy: [Takes a selfie with Twix and sends it] Do you? Jimmy: Not my #goals but should spark jealousy with the intended Janis: Cute. Janis: The dog ain't bad either. 😉 Janis: I'm getting in practice Jimmy: I'll do mine in the comments when it's posted Jimmy: How keen is cringe in the eyes of Gracie and her friends? Janis: You're asking a mouthful there. If you're too nice, they'll say you're boring. But they've gotta at least pretend they're feminists in this day and age so if you are too full of the bants and low-key treating me like shit, they're gonna have to pretend they ain't here for that even though that's every boyf they've ever had, na'mean? Janis: Just say something confusingly inappropriate for what is not gonna be a hot pic, isn't that how you lads do? Janis: I'll set you up with a lame caption Jimmy: Thanks. There's back room access in it for you Jimmy: Again not a private snapchat invite Janis: Steady on there, not until the 3rd date, at least! 😂 Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: Seriously though. You're not as much of a bitch as everyone says. Nice one. Janis: Well, don't be spreading that backhander about, will ya? Janis: You've got a rep to make, that's a bit of mine I'd like to protect Jimmy: 🤐

[punkscowardschampions]

Fraze & Ali

Fraze being a real cunt

Fraze: Sort it out for fuck's sake. Ali joined the chat 101 minutes ago Ali: Nah, youse the ones having to deal with her, so I shan't Fraze: Yeah I am so stop being a twat. Fraze: Or stay round Caleb's and really do ma in. Ali: 😂🖕  Unlucky Ali: And I am, I'll drop the kids round at some point so youse can see them but I've got shit to do so I won't be staying Fraze: Big of you. Fair dues though throwing a tantrum can be an all dayer when you're such a brat. Ali: Boo hoo, you're the one crying to me 'cos you can't stomach her for five seconds Ali: Give a shit, Fraze, this doesn't involve you Fraze: I was trying to appeal to you 'cause it's Christmas and dad wants you there but fuck off then. Ali: That's the spirit Ali: Why would I wanna be there? I'll see dad, and everyone else who isn't being mad cunty, in my own time Ali: I've got no need to commit to another day of this shite Fraze: Keep being a selfish cunt it's not like I want you there after you threw me under the bus calling me one of ma's failures Ali: Yeah? Glad I won't be missed then, no hurt feelings all round Ali: And go to ma for comfort, she'll happily tell you the truth will set you free on that score Fraze: I'm not the one whose proper hurt. She is. You don't give a shit but the rest of us do. Do me a favor and gimme a time you're coming so I can be out. Ali: Well she ain't the only one but the only one that matters, right? Ali: Then console her with how much of a success you are, console yourself whilst you're at it Fraze: Fuck you. You're such a spoiled bitch. You're hurt 'cause what she told you to man up and tell Ro Drew's a cheating scumbag woe's you Fraze: Just 'cause you feel guilty no need to make ma feel it worse Ali: I'm not the one crying 'cos I've not got my way here Ali: Its hilarious you believe everything she tells you 'cos that ain't the conversation I had with her Ali: Like she needs any help with her guilt complex Fraze: Aren't you? Ruining christmas 'cause you didn' t get your way for once ain't no better. Fraze: I'm surprised you wanna bother bringing your kids around if she's such a shit mum Ali: Who's ruining anything? She doesn't want me there, you don't, like I said, I'll make the effort to see the people who want to see me too Ali: Well I'm all for second chances, even if she thinks they're bullshit Fraze: Act like it then. Give her one. Ali: I am. Ali: She hasn't taken it yet Fraze: You haven't offered it. All you've done is avoided her Ali: That's how you see it. You don't live here, don't act like you're involved in this family any more. She sees me multiple times a week, she's had ample opportunity, I'm not the one hiding Fraze: Neither do you. Until Caleb upsets you and you come running back. You see her too. Why's it all on her? Ali: Grow up. Ali: I'll make myself and my children homeless, shall I? Ali: Not all of us bum the moral high ground as much as you, you moron Ali: Because its never on her Ali: She needs to learn to apologize when she's the one in the wrong, its not hard Fraze: You're the idiot that needs to grow up. Fraze: If its so easy do it Fraze: You can't even own the shit you said Fraze: Except her to kiss your feet though don't ya? Fraze: Hypocrite Ali: No, because I'm NOT in the wrong Ali: Keep up Ali: I know what I said Ali: and I haven't felt the need to be telling tales on what she said Ali: which is evidently all she's been doing so yeah, I'm good pal Fraze: Fuck you. She didn't rat you out, princess I overheard her telling dad why he's precious fave wouldn't be at the table Ali: Then you shouldn't be so nosy, should you Fraze: Yeah its all my bad. None of yours. Get a fucking clue. Ali: What's this got to do with you? Fraze: Oh fuck all except I wanted a nice family Christmas for my kids like we used to have Fraze: I'm the selfish one of course Ali: You aren't going to find it here Ali: you're not a child, any more, it isn't going to be that fantasy you've got in your head Ali: if you wanted that, take 'em to disney world Fraze: Cheers for the ma impression while she's radio silent Fraze: But don't speak on my childhood or how I raise my kids again 'cause you know less than nothing about either Ali: Please, you're 4 years older than me, don't act like I wasn't there Ali: You don't get to control the narrative Fraze: Why not you are Fraze: You don't get to tell me what's a fantasy Ali: Believe it if it makes you any happier Ali: evidently not Ali: it was what it was for all of us, we can all say how we found it but the stories aren't gonna add up and that'll create dissonance, hohum Ali: it doesn't matter either way Fraze: No it was what it was for you 3 and it was what it was for Joe, Bea and me Fraze: which matters to me Fraze: even if you're an ungrateful cunt these days Fraze: and apparently always were Ali: Yeah yeah yeah, and it was different for ma and da Ali: like I said, no one wants your war stories Ali: its different for us, you all agree, so stop pushing your bullshit onto us making us try to 'learn' from you Fraze: But it's fine for you to spout all your bullshit, yeah? One fucking rule for Ali Mckenna as per Ali: am I asking you to listen? Ali: I don't want to be talking to you, as per, you came screaming at me, like she did Fraze: Fuck off then I'm done Ali: ta ta dearest brother you're really good at this Ali: just like mummy Fraze: I ain't trying to be good to you I don't owe you shit Fraze: I was trying to help ma who I do Fraze: But forget it 'cause she's better off not talking to ya Ali: and I owe nothing to you, you can try and hold seniority over people for a while but don't act surprised when they tire of the lectures Ali: I sincerely hope so Ali: FYI, you're your own person, she'd like you to know that, according to her, you're NOTHING to do with her Fraze: FYI I already know that. I own up to my own shit good and bad. Fraze: If that's news to you suddenly too bad Ali: Hahahaha Ali: no, THAT is news to me Fraze: I thought you had shit to do Ali: Sick burn, some of us can multitask Fraze: Tell someone who gives a fuck Ali: Oh, you are VERY bad at appearing non-plussed Ali: your entire life experience should tell you that Ali: the only person you've got fooled is yourself Fraze: Thanks doctor fraud Fraze: throw that all seeing bullshit lens on yourself Ali: ??? Ali: You screaming at me for however the fuck long=me not WANTING to say sorry Ali: wowee, what a revelation Fraze: Just keep doing what you want. Please yourself like you always do Fraze: I won't see you later Ali: its only what our darling mother would want Ali: she's a bad person, don't you know Fraze: She thinks she is yeah. No thanks to you Fraze: really helping to change her mind ain't ya Ali: Sorry I'm such a disappointment, there you can have that one Ali: I mean it Fraze: Good you should be sorry too bad I ain't the one that wants to hear it Ali: you can tell her yourself Ali: it isn't my job to mother my own mother Ali: she wont give you a gold star but you can whack off to how smug you'll feel Fraze: Fuck you. I mean that. Ali: I don't care Ali: None of us love each other, its all falling apart Ali: I don't fucking care Fraze: You don't love us anymore now you've got your cosy set up that ain't the same thing Fraze: Good luck to you. Ali: Bullshit Ali: Joe's gone, Tommy left as soon as he feasibly could and he's only back 'cos he's got no other option Ali: You're busy pretending you're someone else Ali: and I won't be here soon either, so why delay the inevitable, it's all gone Ali: and I haven't got sod all 'cosy' literally what the hell do you know, all I've got is MY kids Ali: and they need me more than Tess ever did, I was surplus to requirements from the jump there Fraze: Some genius you are. You don't have a fucking clue. Joe's an addict, he's struggling. Tommy has been doing what he loves which meant he had to move. Also not about you sorry princess kitty kat. I'm trying to build a future same as you. It's hardly end of days. Fraze: Sorry you're not the centre of everyone's universe for one sec. Fraze: And everything ain't rosy all the damn time. Big deal. Ali: and why is he an addict? hmm? lets explore that shall we Ali: Bea's the only one building anything Ali: you're on her coattails Ali: its never been rosy that's my fucking point! Ali: and i'm sorry i've got sick of pretending its anything close to rn Ali: because it isn't and we all know it, aren't you all sick of pretending Fraze: That ain't for me or you to say. You'd have to ask him Fraze: You don't know shit about what I'm achieving or not you patronising twat Fraze: Nobody's asking for that except you and none of us are pretending either we're just making the best of what we've got which is apparently optional for you now you're over it Fraze: Life don't have to be exactly what you want for it to be worth a fucking damn Fraze: Stop acting like you're above us all and be with us Ali: Except I can't because he's gone. He's gone and you didn't give us a chance to say goodbye, no, I'll be as selfish as you want me to be, you didn't give ME a chance to say goodbye Ali: Oh yeah, my life is fucking peachy, I'm so great Ali: Everyone fucking hates me, is that the teen angst you want? Well whoop there it is. Everyone in this fucking town looks down their nose at me or outright abuses me on the daily, the kids I'm too young to have have a part-time dad and heaven forbid I act my age, my own family tell me to fuck off and die in a ditch, or tell me what an awful person I am Ali: there it is, yuk it up 'cos I don't know what else you want from me Ali: I have NOTHING to give, I'm so sorry I'm not worth my place in the tribe Fraze joined the chat 29 minutes ago Fraze: Put that and whatever else you gotta on me. It don't matter. I did what I did and I'd do it again. For him. Fraze: Boo fucking hoo. Deal with it. Nobody made those choices but you. Those kids don't need your sob story they need you to decide what the fuck you and Caleb are doing. Together or apart. Fraze: You don't get to act your age 'cause you're somebody's fucking ma now and its on you to let them be kids. Fraze: If you can't hack that you shouldn't of done it. Simple as. Fraze: As for the pity party you're having about us, nobody said anything like that. Calm down or keep projecting I don't care. Ali: Of course you would, no one matters but the sacred three. I know that, no need to remind me when you spend every waking day showing us exactly where we are in the pecking order Ali: This is a joke, what have I said to you, and mum, what is ALL I said Ali: we didn't need theirs, we didn't need yours Ali: but we got it Ali: and yet I'm nothing like my mother and my problems are NOTHING like hers Ali: I dare you to call her a spoilt bitch Ali: Wow, write a pamphlet. Ali: Read back what you've said, I'm not telling you what you said, you'll only say its bullshit. Just read it Ali: I just Ali: Never mind Fraze: You're a joke, Ali. Fraze: Your situation is nothing like ma's. You've had so much support all round. Like fuck are you working 4 jobs you're going to uni, you have multiple people willing to help with your kids and anything else at the drop of a hat Fraze: She had nothing but da. Fraze: I know what I said and didn't say. Spin it how you want just like with whatever mum said. Fraze: I'm not going in circles with you. Ali: That's all your doing Ali: our entire lives is one big circle revolving around them Ali: please tell me how hard she had it again Ali: as if that makes an iota of difference to my struggle Ali: so much support? Ali: I feel it Fraze: It should make a difference to your fucking behavior Fraze: but whatever I'm sick of this and if you can bail so can I Ali: Why? Ali: Why should it Fraze: It's called empathy brainiac Ali: No, it isn't Ali: that's the past, empathy is doing fuck all to change what it was Ali: you show empathy to the people who need it Ali: in the now Fraze: she does still need it in the now Ali: and i don't? Fraze: You get a shit ton of it Ali: WHERE Ali: I'm a joke, I'm a fuck up, I'm a cunt Ali: I'm not doing enough to help Ro Ali: I'm not doing enough for mum Ali: I'm a bad mother who shouldn't have had her kids Ali: there is nothing Ali: I'm not pulling this out of thin air, Fraze Fraze: You're pulling it out of your arse 'cause you wanna feel sorry for yourself and for everyone else to Fraze: You think I ain't been called shit. Made mistakes. We all have including mum Ali: Please do bring it back round to you and mum Ali: continue to prove my point Ali: call me crazy and tell me i'm making it all up Fraze: I didn't say that I said you're making a meal of it Fraze: build a bridge and get the fuck over it Fraze: talk to the people you gotta to change shit Fraze: Or just keep crying to me Fraze: what's that gonna do? Ali: Yeah, silly me for trying to get my own brother to care Ali: that's not how families are meant to work Fraze: I'm still here talking to you ain't I Fraze: you're the one not caring Ali: of course, what a cold bitch Fraze: You wish Ali: no i don't Ali: even if no one respects the fact that i have feelings that can get hurt just like the rest of you do Fraze: Again, literally nobody's ever said that Fraze: we're just trying to get you to tell ma your feelings are hurt Fraze: at least Ali: actions speak louder than words, even though your words HAVE been fucking horrible and you aren't convincing me otherwise Ali: she knows...she's the one who hurt them Fraze: and you hurt hers too Fraze: and Fraze: I don't know what else I can do here Fraze: this ain't even my fight as you said Ali: i know, i was the one who did it Ali: yeah a real impasse we find ourselves in Fraze: Do whatever it is you're gonna 'cause I can't multitask and I do actually have shit that needs doing despite what you think Ali: i was planning to