#she whaps him on the head with the map and gripes 'do you have ANY idea how long I spent looking for these fucking maps?!' whap 'you dick!' | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

attractthecrows · 8 months ago

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retconning stroud out of the deep roads so i can shove laure amell and the hawke siblings and varric and anders all into the same little camp. they would all have such a bad time

#carver: dying of blight. with an inferiority complex. but mostly dying #danie: MY BROTHER!!! MY BABY BROTJER HELP HIM!!!!!#anders: oh god oh fuck. wait a minute. i recognize this area. isnt this where the commander should be? oh hell #varric: we are all going to 🪦die⚰️ in a 🕳 hole. not even a GOOD hole #warden commander laure amell of ferelden and amaranthine: oh. anders. glad you're not dead or a darkspawn but Why The Fuck Are You Here #anders: oh hell. uh.#warden commander laure amell of ferelden and amaranthine: actually shut up. darkspawn incoming. its too open here so follow me to camp #'uh- commander-' 'shut it. there are shrieks about. this is a nasty area to be in with non-wardens' [glaring disapprovingly]#they awkwardly walk to camp. sigrun and a couple other wardens are there. they all sit down & drop their stuff #amell sits on a stump and pulls out a corked bottle. pops the cork. sniffs it. takes a swig. her white hair almost seems to glow?#she coughs then asks anders 'so why *are* you this far in the deep roads with a band of nonwardens? how'd you even get here?'#anders pulls out the map and hands it over. she looks at it. her expression darkens. she rolls up the map and says 'Anders.' he looks up.#she whaps him on the head with the map and gripes 'do you have ANY idea how long I spent looking for these fucking maps?!' whap 'you dick!'#she whaps him one more time then stuffs the maps into her bag. 'that still doesn't tell me WHY you're here. out with it.'#varric speaks up: 'my asshole brother locked us in a thaig. we came down on an expedition and found an idol that he betrayed us for'#amell frowns. 'a *thaig*? there aren't any records in the shaperate of any out this far. this isn't even a main branch of the deep roads.'#'it could be ancient!' sigrun offers 'or an unsavory secret the shaperate 'lost'. like Caridin?' amell nods & turns back to varric.#'so you're looking for a way out.' they nod. 'and just happened to come by this way?' anders says 'no commander- we need your help.'#amell takes another swig of her bottle. her hair is definitely glowing slightly. 'who *doesn't* these days. but for a pair of old friends-'#she winks at anders. 'what is it you need?' danie interrupts. '-please- my brother is sick- if you can't help him he'll die!'#amell looks at hawke then at carver. gets up and steps over to him. kneels in front of him and unceremoniously grabs his face #tilts his chin up (carotid + jugular blackened) peels his eyelid back (sclera greying and bloodshot) pries open his mouth (tongue greying)#then releases his head and stands shaking her hands. 'oh yeah. that's blight for sure. this is why you sought me out?' anders nods.#'we'll take him. but you know- he may not survive the joining.' 'any chance is better than letting him die!' 'i agree.' amell says coolly.#'youre lucky. we can do it here but the prep will take time. rest. eat. be on your guard. and DO NOT touch my whiskey if you're not a mage.'#it takes like a day of prep. also no one has used amell's name so they havent figured out the Cousins thing yet #eventually amell pulls carver over to the fire and hands him a cup of the joining potion and says 'you get one warning. *don't flinch.*'#he drinks it. he lives. but he's unconscious. amell sends the party on their way #to anders: here. i found this not long after you left. *hands him the phylactery* you and justice be careful. it's getting chaotic out there #to hawke: for what it's worth im sorry. if ever you need the wardens' assistance i grant it under the authority of warden-commander amell

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