#she wasn't in this movie enough to make a pack ok

[kaylawallace]

katherine mcnamara as terry in fool's paradise ( 2023 )

[callsign-dexter]

Traveling Adventures

Summary: The Seresin-Bradshaw family takes a trip to Disney World.

Pairings: Jake Seresin x Daughter!Reader, Bradley Bradshaw x Daughter!Reader

Warnings: Swearing, Fluff, Little Y/N crying (if that is a warning)

Masterlist

Our Little Girl

A/N: Little Y/N is 3 yrs old

A/N Pt. 2: Yes Jake's name, later on, is turned to Pops but for now it's 'Daddy', I figured it would be an easier name for her to say since she is 3 and it rolled off the tongue for this fic.

Little Y/N was now 3 years old and her parents and grandparents thought it would be a good idea to take her on a trip that she could remember. Where to you ask? Well, none other than Disney World. From an early age, she made it very clear that she liked Disney movies and characters. So Bradley and Jake took some time off of work and bought tickets to Disney World. They headed to Florida in a week, leaving on early Friday morning and staying for at least a week. They decided to do it during the summer because she was out of school, and they had several days of vacation racked up over the years and months plus they had some higher-ups in the family so nobody batted an eye.

Jake and Bradley being Jake and Bradley decided to wait until the last minute, more like a day before, Thursday, to start getting ready and pack. Some clothes they wanted to take needed to be washed so they were up all night washing them and Little Y/N would not go to sleep for anything too excited about their trip, until about 3 AM and she crashed hard. They had to be up at 7 AM and Y/N up at 8 AM to be at the airport at 9 AM and catch their plane which started boarding at 11 AM. They figured to get there early since they had a 3-year-old with them. They were going to drive and leave their car but talked through it, Bradley didn't want anyone near his precious Bronco and Jake didn't want anywhere his precious blacked-out Ford F-150 so, Maverick and Ice said they would take them since Carole and Goose had plans already.

Being a typical 3 year old she was not any help, taking clothes out of the suitcase causing them to have to put them back in, and at one point sat in the suitcase, which they got pictures of and sent them out. They truly loved their little girl. Only two suitcases were going and one backpack. After everything was packed of theirs they started on hers, which was an adventure.

It started with her not wanting to cooperate and pick the outfits she wanted to wear and then she did what she was doing to her daddies, throwing clothes out of the suitcase and making them repack it. She then wanted to take multiple toys but after some convening from Jake, she agreed with taking 2 toys and her tablet. The conversation went a little something like this.

"Sweets, you don't need that many toys. You won't have time to play with them." Jake said trying to convince her but she wasn't having it. He was trying to stay calm.

"Nu-uh, Daddy." She said in a matter-in-fact tone "I'll have time." She finished and Jake sighed closed his eyes and his head went down. Why did she have to be like them? They knew she was stubborn but didn't think it would be this bad. Jake so badly wanted to say 'yea-huh' but even though he wanted to, someone had to be the adult in this situation, there would be enough opportunities to sass off to each other. She looked at him waiting for an answer.

"Sweets, how about you take two toys and your tablet?" He asked her hoping she would say yes. She paused and scrunched her face up into a thinking position, much like Bradley, and then smiled.

"Ok, Daddy. I do that." She finally agreed and Jake sighed in relief.

Jake got stuck with packing the rest of her clothes and two toys and placing her tablet in the kitchen to charge next to the backpack that snacks will be added to later.

Meanwhile, Bradley chased Little Y/N down to try and start getting her ready for bed since it was past 9 PM. Bradley finally caught her and put her in bed after several breaking outs she went down at 3 AM much to her parent's relief but dreading the next day.

7 AM rolled around much faster than the parents would have liked, only had gotten about 4 hrs of sleep by the time they got clothes done and washed and everything packed. Jake was the first one up and got ready with Bradley following right behind him. Jake went to check on Little Y/N while Bradley went on to the kitchen to start making coffee and packing the backpack.

"How is she?" Jake asked while handing Bradley a cup of coffee.

"Sleeping like a rock." Bradley said and shook his head feeling a little bit jealous that she could sleep in. Then again she was just like them and could fall asleep anywhere at any time.

"Must be nice." Jake said as he took a sip of his coffee.

"We're going to pay for it later though." Bradley said as a smile graced his face and chuckled.

"Yes, but it's going to be worth it." Jake said and Bradley nodded in agreement.

A little after 7 AM Maverick and Ice rolled in and walked in greeting both the males in the kitchen. Bradley and Jake greeted them with a hug and then when 8 AM rolled around it was time to wake Little Y/N up.

"It's 8 AM time to go wake up Sleeping Beauty." Bradley said and before either parent could jump on it Ice was already headed to the little girl's room and stopped before getting to the stairs.

"I'll get her. You'll have to deal with her all day at the airport." Ice said turned and walked toward the stairs, Maverick was not having that and rushed to where Ice was at the foot of the stairs.

"No, I'll go get her." He said and started to push Ice out of the way. Ice had this look on his face and it was game one.

"Don't think so Mitchell. I'm her favorite." Ice said and started up the stairs with Maverick close behind him.

"I don't think so Kazansky." Maverick responded competitive side coming out. This is how it went as they started to climb the stairs to the little girl's room. Bradley and Jake just stood back drinking coffee and watched the whole scene. It was hilarious seeing two Navy Admirals fight to see who would wake up their granddaughter. Don't think that Bradley didn't take a video because he sure did and sent it to the group chat. The first message was from Goose: "Takes me back to our days at Top Gun. They've always been competitive." Oh, how Goose wished could've been there but to be honest he would be fighting to go wake her up too.

Let's just say both of them got to wake her up, dress her, and make her brush her teeth. Bradley and Jake were just glad they could have some peace even if it were just for a minute.

Once they got her ready and the backpack packed they were heading to the car to start the drive to the airport like planned they got there at 9 AM. Now they have to get through security and find their plane.

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The car ride to the airport was pretty much uneventful. The road was clear due to it being early morning and morning rush hour was already done for. Ice pulled up to the curb where the departure sign was and parked. Bradley worked on getting Y/N out while Maverick, Jake, and Ice got their luggage out of the back including her car seat. Bradley was standing there with Y/N waiting for everything to be unloaded. They all hugged each other and promised that they would be sending updates.

The little family walked into the airport and headed towards security, they already had their tickets pulled up on their phones and I.Ds at their ready. Since they're military they have TSA precheck and they can skip the long line at security. Security was a breeze and Y/N behaved much to their dismay but they knew she was ready to be mischievous.

Once they got through Jake got through first, Y/N, went and he picked her up, then Bradley, they gathered their luggage and walked to an area away from people. Jake sat her down and Bradley got down to her level.

"Now Y/N. When we are not carrying you, you need to be holding one of our hands at all times. You also can't leave mine or Daddy’s sight. Ok?" Bradley said to her seriously and she could sense that.

"Ok, Dada." She replied. Bradley nodded glad she understood and stood up and they headed to their gate. They got there around 10 AM and now they had to wait. They sat near the window so she could see the planes take off and being taxied in, she was in awe.

It was getting close to her snack time and they knew that, so Jake got a packet of Goldfish out of the backpack and opened them. When she came to them saying "I hungry." All he had to do was hand her the opened packet. They were tucked in the corner so they could keep an eye on her and talk as well. Bradley and Jake talked about work and other plans to be made. Every now and then she would come back to them for either a drink or to hand them her Goldfish.

10:30 AM rolled around and they both decided to have a bathroom break. They decided that Jake would go first and then Bradley who would take Y/N with him. Everything went without a hitch. 10 minutes later they started to board. Active military, parents with children 3 and under, and ones that needed assistance boarded first. For it to be quicker Jake swooped her up which made her giggle and older couples, women, and parents smile, and they all three boarded the plane.

They found their seats, which were together. They put Y/N in the middle of the two and waited for them to taxi and take off. They would have to have a layover in Oklahoma. They figured it would be better to have a layover that way they could get Y/N off and let her stretch her legs. Bradley took the window seat and got Y/N settled while Jake stowed the luggage and car seat, which was thankfully collapsible and the flight wasn't very full. Once everything was stowed above he sat down and put the backpack between his legs and would put it under the seat in front of him. The flight would be 2 hr 27 min long and a 3 hr layover and their next flight would be 2 hr 42 minutes.

They were close to the front so they got to see everyone walk by. Y/N was fascinated by them. When the line got held up by an older couple they smiled at her when she looked at them. The older woman spoke up.

"Hello dear." She said and Y/N smiled and waved.

"Hi!" She said excitedly, Bradley and Jake were listening just in case they needed to jump in. "We're going to Disney!" She said the couple smiled they loved seeing kids have fun.

"Oh, that sounds fun. I love Disney." The older woman said and Y/N's eyes widened and jaw dropped.

"Me too!" She said, "My daddies fly planes." She said she was proud of her daddies and she loved the jets.

"Oh, they do?" The older gentleman spoke up for the first time said Y/N nodded and Bradley cut in.

"Sorry about her. She's just a little excited. Jake and I are Naval aviators." Bradley said apologizing for their hyper 3-year-old.

"Oh, you don't have to apologize! We love seeing kids happy. Also thank you both for your service." The older gentleman said and the woman nodded. The line started to move and they bid their goodbyes. The plane was boarded and it was getting shut. They started to get pushed back and Little Y/N watched in awe out the window. The flight attendants went through their required stuff and so did the captain. They got to the runway.

"Chick do you remember what this is called?" Bradley asked calling her by the nickname Goose gave her. She nodded enthusiastically.

"Runway." She said and Jake and Bradley smiled.

"That's right Sweets. Now sit back. We're going to go really fast and be up in the air in no time." Jake said and she sat back taking him seriously and true to his word they were given the all-clear and sped down the runway and lifted off. She was in awe of it all.

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Once in the air and electronics can be used Jake got out Y/N's tablet and put it on a kid-friendly show while Bradley and Jake got their phones out and messed around with them. There was some turbulence here and there but they handled it like pros and they reassured their little girl that it was normal. Once the seatbelt sign was turned off she was climbing onto Bradley's lap and looking out the window and watching her tablet.

15 minutes into the flight and she and Bradley were out like a light Y/N was laying on Bradley, Jake got pictures and sent them to the group chat and even though they didn't send right away he knew they would once they land. Flight attendants were in awe at the two, and Jake couldn't help but smile. They came with drinks and snacks and Jake got both but declined for Y/N and Bradley since they were fast asleep. Turbulence was hit and woke Bradley and he made sure she was still asleep and he stayed up for the rest of the flight.

It was nearing the flight and Bradley carefully put her back in her seat and she cuddled up next to Jake. They both got their electronics switched onto airplane mode. They landed and taxied to their gate and were getting ready to begin their 3 hr layover. They didn't have the heart to wake up so Jake carried her out of the plane with the backpack over his should while Bradley grabbed the luggage.

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Layovers are not fun to deal with. Once they hit the door that led off the plane Little Y/N woke up and groggy. "Daddy?" She asked.

"Yea, Sweets?" Jake replied. Bradley was right behind them and smiled.

"Disney?" She said keeping her answers and questions short due to tiredness and Jake smiled and shook his head while looking at her.

"Not yet, Honey." Bradley said and she seemed to accept that answer and buried her face into Jake's neck.

They went to their next terminal where they had to ride the airport train which fascinated the little girl. "DADA! DADDY! LOOK!" She shrieked out pointing to the artwork on the walls inside the tunnels. Luckily the train was kind of empty.

"Yea, Sweets. It's nice isn't it?" Jake asked and she nodded excitedly. She was standing on the seat hands pressed on the glass with Jake right behind her since the train had enough force to throw her off balance. The train announced their arrival at their terminal, Jake picked her up she protested because she wanted to see more artwork.

They headed toward their gate to find it and then once they knew where it was they were going to get something to eat, or at least one of them was, and bring it back to the other two.

Once they had their gate they set up near the corner and the window again and this one had a table with charging ports. They got comfortable and started their wait for the 3 hr layover.

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An hour into their wait Little Y/N toddled her way over to her daddies. She put a hand on each other knees and they automatically looked down.

"Food?" She asked knowing that she knew they understood. Jake looked at his watch and looked back at her.

"I guess it is time for lunch isn't it?" Jake said and Little Y/N put her hands on her hips and cooked her head to the side.

"Yea, Daddy." She replied with so much sass. Oh how she was so much like them was scary.

"Ok little miss sass. Dada will go and get food and we'll stay here." Jake said and turned to look at Bradley who was already getting up.

"What do you want to eat?" Bradley asked already knowing his daughter’s answer.

"McDonald's!" She yelled and they both laughed of course, they should've never allowed Slider to take her there now it's all she wants.

"McDonald's is fine. If you want something else I'll eat whatever." Jake said looking at his husband and letting his daughter play with his hand. Bradley nodded and headed off.

Jake and Y/N were both content until she started to get a little rowdy. She wasn't watching where she was going and bumped into the luggage several times. "Sweets. Be careful." Jake said in a warning tone and she made the stance she did early.

"You be careful." She said sassing her Pops. Obviously, she didn't listen to him and continued to run around. Jake was keeping an eye on her and his phone updating the group when he heard a crash. He looked up and saw her on the floor and she looked at him and started to cry. He was up in an instant and scooping her up and cooing her.

"Oh, Sweets. It's ok. You're ok. Shhh." He said and bouncing her up and down. She continued to cry. "What hurts?" He asked and she mumbled something incoherently "Hmm what was that Sweets?" He asked her and she stopped long enough to answer him.

"My knee." She said all pouty looking at him. He looked down at her knee and only saw a rug burn. A woman walked up to him.

"Is she ok? I saw her fall." The woman asked and Jake turned to her.

"She's ok. Aren't you, Sweets?" He asked her and she nodded. The woman awed.

"Are you traveling alone with her?" She asked starting to flirt.

"No, my husband is getting us food." He said just as Bradley was walking up.

"Jake, I-" Bradley began but stopped himself seeing the woman.

"Oh, there he is. Hi, babe." Jake said and kissed him and turned back to the woman who was smiling.

"The cute ones are always taken. You two have an adorable daughter." The woman said both men smiled and Jake hugged their daughter tighter.

"Thank you. She's the light of our life." Bradley said and the smiled. She turned around and left.

Bradley turned to Jake with a raised eyebrow. He then noticed the tear tracks. Jake sighed. "I told her to be careful and she sassed back and then she tripped. She said she hurt her knee and I only saw a rug burn. The lady saw and came over to ask if she was ok then started to flirt." Bradley nodded he trusted his husband.

"As I was saying beforehand. I got her McDonald's and us Subway." Bradley said showing the food. Y/N perked up at food. Jake sat her down on the chair at the table. Bradley walked over with her food and got it all out of her Happy Meal box. They plugged in their electronics and put a movie on for her as she ate. Bradley and Jake sat down where they can see her and started to eat their food. She got done after they got done and started to rub her eyes. A tall tale sign of her getting sleepy. Jake got up and went to her and picked up and instantly she curled into him. Jake walked back over to Bradley and sat down and she was asleep in an instant. Her slow breathing was putting him to sleep and before he knew it he was closing his eyes.

Bradley looked over and saw them asleep and quickly and quietly got his phone and took a picture and sent it to the group. He started to clean up and throw away trash and shut electronics off.

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Finally, the layover was over and he was waking both of them up gently. They made quick bathroom breaks and when they got back it was time to board. They got boarded the same as last time. They took off at 3 PM. Bradley took over holding Y/N so Jake could get some feeling back in his arms. Jake updated the group and they were on their way.

Once everyone boarded it was the same process as last time and before Little Y/N knew it they were up in the air. She decided that she liked flying, no scratch that loved it if only she knew that she would be flying jets when she was old enough.

2 hrs 42 mins flew by and they were landing in Flordia at 6:42 PM. She stayed awake most of the flight. When they landed she got excited. They got off the plane and went down to the rental car. Bradley entertained her while Jake got the car. He got the keys but wouldn't let Bradley see it or know what it was. They picked up their luggage and Bradley picked up Y/N and they headed out to their car that was pulled out front. Bradley stopped in his tracks in his sight, a newer version of a Ford Bronco, just a little bit darker in color. "Jake you did not." Bradley said surprised.

"But Bradley, I did." Jake said with a smirk. Bradley was just smiling as Jake loaded the car and put in the car seat. They buckled her in and headed to their hotel for the night.

Once Y/N got into the car she was out like a light. When they arrived at their hotel Bradley got Y/N out and carried the sleeping toddler in to get the room keys why Jake got the luggage.

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Bradley walked in and to the front desk, a pretty young lady by the name of Alice was working. She looked up ready to deal with another customer when she saw Bradley and his little girl. She smiled.

"What can I do for you, sir?" Alice smiled.

"Hi, I need a room with two beds." He said and she nodded.

"Just the two of you?" Alice asked and Bradley smiled but shook his.

"No, there is three of us." He said

"Oh wife or girlfriend?" Alice asked making small talk while she processed getting a room and taking his information down and the credit card that he had dug out one handed.

"No husband." He replied and smiled at the shock on her face everyone had the same reaction every time. Jake walked in right as she gave his card back. He kissed Bradley's cheek and she smiled.

"Have a nice night guys." Alice said and they smiled and walked to the elevator and rode it to their room they got into their room. They got her ready and changed into pajamas while she still slept they got ready and got into bed ready for the next day.

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The next morning Little Y/N was up bright and early, meaning 6 AM. She got out her tablet and put on a show while her daddies slept. She knew to be quiet. Around 7 AM both men woke up they said good morning to each other and looked over to where their little girl was supposed to be sleeping but instead were looking at them smiling.

"Y/N, honey. How long have you been up?" Bradley asked and she held up 6 fingers and she went back to watching her show. Both of the men's eyes widened and looked at each other.

They went through their routine then they headed out the door with the key essentials ready for the day, including an extra pair of clothing in case they got wet or something spilled on one of them. By the time they were done, it was 7:30 AM. They went down to the rental Bronco and headed to Disney World. It was only a 30-minute drive to the park. Each time Little Y/N saw a sign for Disney she got more excited and talked a mile a minute.

They pulled into the parking lot and she squealed. Bradley and Jake smiled. They got out and Jake got her out while Bradley grabbed the bag. Jake sat her down and got down to her level.

"Ground rules. You don't run off no matter who or what you see, you keep us in your sights at all times, you hold our hands the entire time when you're not in our arms or on our shoulders, and you be polite and respectful. Understood?" Jake said in a serious tone, a tone that he would use with his Top Gun students.

"Yes, Dada." She replied and he nodded and stood up.

"Let's go have some fun." He added and Bradley scooped her up and they walked to the front gate. They waited in line they got to the front and showed their tickets and their bag was searched and into the park they went.

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They started with the kid's rides so that she could get the feel of it and she loved the thrill of it. Everything was either caught on video or in pictures and shared with the group. The grandparents were eating it up.

She got to meet so many characters from her favorite movies, especially Elsa because "She reminds me of Grandpa Ice." Of course, pictures were taken and sugary food was eaten causing her to have a sugar rush. Some couples offered to take the whole family's picture and of course, they took their offer.

They kept to the kid's rides that didn't require height requirements and were safe enough for toddlers. They rode 17 rides in total, her favorite ride was the Haunted Mansion ride since that is also her favorite movie apart from Frozen. There were more she wanted to ride but her daddies told her they can be saved for another day as they sat and ate and got hydrated. They had all week but she wasn't buying it.

"Sweets, we can ride those rides tomorrow. It's getting late." Jake said tired but having a good day.

"Nu-uh. It not late." She sassed putting her hands on her hips an action she had seen them both and her Grandma do several times.

"Yea-huh." Jake sassed back and Bradley just shook his head and sat back enjoying the show.

"Nu-uh, Daddy." She sassed right back "We stay and ride." She continued getting agitated another sign she tired.

"We can come back tomorrow." Jake said she paused to think putting a finger on her chin and then stopped and climbed into his lap. It was now 8 PM and the Magic Kingdom was going to be putting on fireworks, which they were close to.

"Fine. We stay for fireworks." She said no room for arguments and Jake sighed and Bradley laughed.

"What are you laughing at?" He turned to look at Bradley.

"She's just like you. Always bargains and usually gets what you want." Bradley said and it was true.

"She gets it from you too, husband." Jake said defending himself.

"I'm not saying she doesn't. You're the one to deny it." Bradley said and Y/N stayed quiet listening to them go back and forth getting comfortable in Jake's lap. This went on until 8:30 PM. They decided to walk to the Magic Kingdom and watch the show at 9 PM. Jake carried their daughter and held her the entire time.

9:18 PM rolled around and the light show and fireworks were done. They started to walk back to the gates with everyone else and as they were walking back Little Y/N fell asleep on Jake's shoulder. They arrived at the Bronco and carefully put her in and put the backpack in the back and got in and fought the traffic out of the park. When they got back to the hotel they did the same routine the night before. Both smiling this trip was so worth it.

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Each day of the week while they were there they rode different rides and ate different foods. The Seresin-Bradshaw family was having a blast! Many souvenirs were bought and photos were taken. Bradley and Jake agreed that the trip was well worth it and they should do it again when she gets older.

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[misscinnamonroll16]

Brozone diner au: the day John Dory took off part six

god this is long

He always made the funniest faces. John took that picture too, along with the photo album. John grabbed the rest of the items, taking one last look around the room before heading back to his campervan. After arriving back at his campervan, John Dory decided to bake their grandma's famous fluffleberry cake. After making and decorating the cake, John noticed that the crocodile plush had a tear and was incredibly dirty. He hand washed it and patched up the tear. JD checked his watch, it was only 8:45 pm. John made himself some dinner and put on a movie. Partway through the movie, John dozed off, probably going to be sore tomorrow from sleeping on a couch. John woke up to his usual alarm, stretching and popping his back. John made a quick breakfast and some coffee, packing up the cake to take to work as a thank you gift to his brothers. He grabbed a box to put the book and plush in, hesitating for a moment, what if they didn't want these things? They clearly hadn't been missing them because they were still there. John decided to take them in anyway and talk to Bruce about to make sure his sentiment is understandable, luckily Bruce was the first one in. JD got to the diner, setting the cake and box in the office, locking the door behind him. He usually didn't lock the office when he was here but that stuff was a surprise so he didn't want one of them seeing it. John set everything up as usual, quietly singing to himself, only perking up when he heard Bruce opening the front door. “G’morning Brucie.” John said, pouring Bruce a cup of coffee and handing it to him. Bruce grunted, he's never really been a morning person, taking the cup of coffee. Bruce took a big sip of the coffee, slowly waking up. John Dory gave Bruce time to fully wake up, knowing he'll be an asshole if he's not awake enough. After a few minutes Bruce turned to John, trying to figure out what he's thinking about it. “Alright, what's going on? You're thinking about something." Bruce said before taking another sip of his coffee. “I was just waiting for you to finish waking up. If you're ready, come on." JD mumbled before turning to walk into the back towards the office. Bruce grabbed his coffee and followed John Dory to the office, even more confused. “Ok so yesterday I went back to Grandma's old pod and found some stuff that I'd think you guys would like but I don't know for sure so I want your Older Brother Opinion ™️. I don't know, maybe I'm just being sentimental.” John said, opening the office and showing Bruce the box of items. " Dang, you want my opinion on this? You're probably overthinking this. Aww, that's an adorable picture of Floyd and baby Branch. You trying to make Clay cry by giving him this book? I think Branch might have missed Crocko. Wait, when was this picture taken?” Bruce said as he looked through the box, setting his cup down on the table. " Oh grandma was taking pictures of us for some magazine company and you wouldn't stop making faces. I guess she had that one developed. I remember you being behind her making faces for Clay and Floyd.” JD said, looking down at the picture fondly with Bruce. “Oh now I remember. Yeah, I think this was a good idea but also you were just being sentimental. Find any other good things there?" Bruce asked as he placed the picture back in the box. John shook his head, placing the box on the floor. That's when Bruce noticed it, the cake. John was talking but Bruce didn't hear a word, too focused on the cake, not sure if it was what he thought it was. Finally John Dory realized Bruce wasn't paying attention, following his line of sight. “Yep, that's what you think it is. But you have to wait for the others to get here. It's a little thank you gift for forcing me to take the day off.” John said, stepping in front of Bruce, who was practically drooling. " Well we wouldn't have to force you if you'd just take days off once in a while.” Bruce sassed, finally snapping out of his trance. "I'm trying to be nice and say thank you, don't be an asshole about it.” JD teased.

@bzjohndory

[fantasies-fairytales-n-fics]

Code Blue Ch. 24- Disturbing Behavior

Summary: Sweet words and bath times are shared. Ethan snaps, revealing his dark side. He and Orlando clash. The good doctor is injured and threatened into silence. Josie suspects something is wrong due to Orlando's behavior. An arrest is made and an ER visit follows.

*Warnings* 18+ DARK...mentions of organized crime, grief, angst, domestic violence, strong/offensive language, mentions of rape/assault, graphic depictions, blood, arrest, ambulance

Stories Stories Stories Masterlist

Chapter characters: Lee, Josie, Orlando, Ethan

Salem, Massachusetts

February 27, 2023

5 pm

It took everything in you to pry yourself out of Lee's gripping hug as you said your loving goodbyes. You now had to go home and start packing for the move into your new apartment. God, you hated leaving him alone after witnessing the panic attack he had and you made him promise to keep his phone by him at all times so he could call you if he had another one. You knew first hand how terrifying it was to have one, let alone when your by yourself.

You pulled into your driveway and checked your phone again, even though you had your volume on full blast. Still, there was nothing from Orlando either after his concerning voicemail he had left you earlier and now you were worried about him too. You quickly texted him just so you would know he was ok.

As you went inside, your mom was in the kitchen doing her usual of sitting at the table watching Good Fellas and drinking some Irish whiskey. It had seemed she had become obsessed with crime movies after Jason died, plus she really liked Ray Liotta. Maybe it was her way of trying to comprehend the life Jason chose that in turn ended his life, although Jason was nothing like the guys in these mob movies. He didn't care about the money or do drugs. It was more out of loyalty to his boss and best friend, Sonny, whom you now blamed for your brother's death. Your mom had no idea of the true extent in her son's previous world of crime....but if these movies helped your mom to deal, then you weren't going to interfere, for everyone dealt with grief in their own ways. You certainly were not into those movies. You would rather suffer in silence locked in your room writing your fantasy fics and you were so grateful you had Lee to dissuade you from doing so or you didn't know where you would be right now. It was like you wrote him to life and and now your reality was better than your dreams.

You spoke with your mom for awhile and then headed up to your room to begin packing. You felt guilty for leaving her but you had to get out of there or you would certainly end up in jail over Megan at some point. It's not like you would be that far away and you would always come back to visit her. Checking your phone once more, Orlando still had not replied.

Lee was in his kitchen making himself another cup of tea as he listened to music. He had drank the one you made and for being chamomile, he found it delicious and relaxing just like you said.

This one had a nice shot of whiskey in it though, for the tea just wasn't quite enough to fully ease his nerves.

His phone began to ring which he kept right beside him like you asked him to and in hopes it was you, he quickly picked it up...but it wasn't you. It was Ethan...again. Lee rolled his eyes and hit decline. He wanted to block him but he knew if he did that, all hell would break loose. It was much better to just let Ethan harass him for the time being until Lee could figure something else out.

Lee sat down at his laptop snacking on a piece of buttered toast and checked his facebook that he never got on much until now, solely because you were there.

He decided to post something for you as he was so proud to be able to call you his and wanted the whole world to know it...except one person. He customized the post so Ethan wouldn't see it. Lee wanted to defriend him, but again, it wasn't worth the trouble it would cause.

Lee began typing exactly what he was feeling, with a little added humor.

"@Josephine March "I was made and meant to look for you and wait for you and become yours....forever. You're my wonderwall baby. Those eyes of yours could swallow stars, galaxies and universes. What hope did I ever have? I hope the burnt bacon wasn't a deal breaker though. I swear, I really can cook. 😘"

After an hour of packing up mostly clothes, you heard your phone beep. You couldn't even control the smile that formed on your face when you saw it was from Lee.

"Hey baby doll. Just wanted to let u know I drank your tea and it hit the spot. Thank u for taking care of me. I'm sorry for scaring u so bad. I feel good and relaxed now and I'm going to go take a hot bath. Wish u were here to join me. Maybe tomorrow, I could take you to the farm?"

"I am so glad you're alright and so happy u texted me. Don't be sorry, it wasn't your fault. You're just understandably stressed. A bath sounds so good, even better with u. Maybe we could share one soon? or...a shower 😉 I would love to go to the farm with u."

"I don't know where u came from my lady strange, but I thank the stars above for u. I'll text u later baby girl. I love you Jo March. Forever....oh...and check your fb."

"Right back at ya babe. I love you. Forever. I'll check it now."

You laid back on the bed in complete bliss, inhaling his imbedded scent on your hands. How was it possible to feel this damn good? It was so foreign to you.

As you read his post, you busted up laughing. God you adored him and now you were going to show everyone, including him, that you did.

"@Lee G Pace "You see, my dear. I was born to be with you and only you, for your very name was inscribed onto my soul in black ink and destiny has a way of getting what it wants. I would you know, do it all again I mean. I would live my entire life up until now just to have you all over again...and your burnt bacon too."

You smiled and closed your laptop, then decided a bath sounded nice and went to submerge yourself in some steaming water, knowing Lee would soon be doing the same.

How was he real? you thought after you read his post.

You snuck downstairs and got some wine and candles while your bath was filling. On your way back, you heard Megan in her room, giggling and talking to someone on her phone. Rolling your eyes, you wondered which foolish man she was taking for a ride this time. As long as she stayed the fuck away from Lee, you didn't give a rat's ass.

You set the candles up and lit them, making the atmosphere perfect. Except it wasn't because you really wanted Lee to be there with you.

You drank down a glass of wine and poured another, setting it beside the candles and your phone, then climbed into the bubbly bliss.

You slowly began to drift off and began to dream. The same dream you dreamt in Lee's car on your way to his dad's funeral. You were drowning, nothing but the darkness of water all around you being inhaled into your lungs and then suddenly, you saw Orlando's face again, only this time you were both drowning.

You gasped awake, choking and splashing about. After you calmed down, you realized you had fallen asleep and had slid under the water. One of your worst nightmares was drowning considering you couldn't swim. Your fear of water wasn't from that though. It was none other than Megan. She terrorized you when you were both in your single digits and besides locking you in that crawl space, she had also held your head under the bath water one night when your mom was out and luckily Jason heard your muffled screams and saved you. From that moment on, it took everything in you to get back in a bathtub and you also would never get in a pool which is why you never learned how to swim. Jason tried to coax you into it, swearing he wouldn't let you go under but as much as you trusted him, you just couldn't do it.

You dried your hands and picked up your phone. Still nothing from Orlando. You decided to call him because that dream really shook you. Maybe he would answer if he knew he could talk to you instead of texting.

To your surprise, he answered. There was loud garbled music in the background.

"Orlando?? Are you alright? I haven't heard back from you."

"Hey Josie, yeah...sorry. I'm fine. I um was asleep."

"With that loud music?"

"Oh, that...yeah, that's Ethan. He's downstairs partying. No rest for the wicked I suppose."

"Well...ok...I...I was just...worried about you. Are you...sure...everything is alright? Your voicemail earlier, you sounded...I don't know, different?"

"Oh...no I'm good, that was just because I had to get going."

"Ok? Well, I'm sorry that I woke you. Do you still want to talk? I mean, you said you needed to talk to me."

"No Josie. I'm sorry if I worried you. I'm good. Can we...just talk later...please?"

"I...I guess so. Text me or something when you can."

"Orlando!!! Get the fuck down here now!" you heard Ethan shout as the music went silent.

"Ok..thanks for calling...gotta go...bye."

You stared at your abruptly ended call and spoke out loud. "What the fuck..."

You laid your phone down and just sat there for a moment, wondering if you should do anything. Was it even your place to do so? Was there anything to even be worried about? You couldn't shake the feeling that there was.

Your phone then rang and you snatched it up thinking it was Orlando calling back, but it was actually a video call from Lee. Your heart raced as your stomach did a flip flop. Why did you feel so silly to answer it when you were in the bath? Probably because you had never done that before.

You answered it to see the cutest damn thing. Lee in his bath, blowing bubbles in the water.

"What the hell..." you said as you laughed.

"Hey baby. Just wanted you to see what you're missing. You could be in here with me right now, still could if you want to come back. I miss you."

"Well as you can see, I am in the bath too. I miss you too. You are too cute for your own damn good, you know?"

"Yes...yes. I know. That's why I called, so you could see what you're missing."

"As if I don't know! You're killing me here."

"Then come back. There's plenty of room in here for you."

"If I do that, I will never get anything done. How about pick me up tomorrow for lunch and then we can go to your farm like you asked me to?"

Lee made a pouty face. "Ok...pizza sound good?"

"Yessss...perfect. Just like you."

"Hey, before you go, guess what I'm listening to."

"How am I supposed to do that?" you giggled.

"Use that witchy intuition of yours. You always bring the right music out at the right times. Don't think I don't notice that."

"Yeah, but, I can't guess what you're already listening to?"

"Alright...I'll give you a hint. Witchy was one of them. Second clue...you're a woman. Third clue. Did I ever tell you I love eagles and hawks. Most awesome birds. Lots of them around the farm."

Lee set his phone on a stand in front of him and sat up to put his earbuds in, totally mind fucking with you his wet sexy self and he knew it.

He had them so loud, you could hear the song, although you had already guessed it from his clues.

"Witchy Woman haha. Nice."

"It is...it's all about you, you know. You've put some spell on me, I swear."

"You know...the funny part here? Definitely another sign...but...after I first met you, I had just got home from the hospital and was in my room listening to music, and I was thinking about you, wanting to find you to give you your bracelet back and just wanting to see you again so bad... not having a clue in the world who you were but dying to know because you had me spellbound yourself...and I just couldn't understand the control you had over me....and then a song came on...but I'll just let you try and guess it now. The clues are there..."

"Alright my sneaky witchy love, call me in the morning when you get up...and I'll rack my brain to figure it out....and if I guess it, then what?" he asked with a smirk.

"I'll twinkle my nose and strip you naked."

"Holy shit! Well, I better get my thinking cap on!"

You laughed. "I love you, you know. I'll talk to you tomorrow, but if you need me for any reason, call me any time ok? Otherwise, I'll see you in my dreams boyfriend."

"Ooooh... I'll meet you there girlfriend. I love you too beautiful. Goodnight baby."

Lee blew a kiss to you and then hung up after you caught it.

You got out of the bath and texted Orlando again. Something didn't feel right and you couldn't shake it. You got dressed while you waited for a response. Ten minutes later you got one.

"Jo?" you whispered as you read it. "He never calls me that...."

"I gotta go, talk to you later beautiful." Ethan hung up his phone when he saw Orlando. "Give me your phone bro." he demanded in his inebriated state.

"What? Why?"

"Don't fucking ask me why, just give it to me before I take it."

"Fuck man, here! Damn..." Orlando snapped and handed it to him.

Ethan first saw your text.

"Orlando, tell me everything is ok. I know u already did, but..I can't help it. I'm worried about u. Ethan sounded so angry. Please, please text me or call me back, if u can..."

Ethan's face turned dark as he sent a reply to shut you up.

"Hey Jo...I'm fine. Ethan's fine. We're having a great time. No worries. Talk later."

Ethan then went straight for facebook on Orlando's account knowing Lee was on his friends. He had a feeling that since Lee was ignoring him, that he was also hiding things as well. He knew Lee didn't use social media much but he knew you did because he had looked you up the first night he met you and saw that you and Lee were friends and your profile was public. Then, he saw Lee's post and your reply and quickly hit the angry icon without thinking.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me!!!" Ethan shouted at the phone as he stood up. "Who does this bitch think she is?? What's so damn special about her huh???!!"

"Bro, what the hell?? What are you flipping your shit about now?"

Ethan swigged back on the whiskey bottle, almost falling over. "As if you don't know! You didn't see Lee's post?? He fucking loves her, or so he thinks, and she said she loves him too!! There goes your chance bro!! but I ain't losing mine!"

"Let me see that." Orlando grabbed his phone back and looked it over. His heart completely shattered as he read it. Orlando knew you both were into each other and that Lee was very different with you, but he never realized it was that serious.

"I fucking told you man!" Ethan yelled as he chugged more of the wicked liquid. "You gonna let him have that cunt huh?? I'm not."

"Don't call her that!!!" Orlando raged.

"Oooooh...looks like I hit a pussy nerve. What the fuck are you going to do about it cunt lover?! The fuck about her got both of your cocks so hard?! Maybe I should go and get a taste to find out."

"Shut your mouth Ethan! If you ever go near her I'll..."

"You'll what!!!" Ethan growled and pinned Orlando against the wall face first.

"Oh look at you man, like father like son. What are you gonna do, fuck me too!! No wonder you like dick."

"You sick little fuck! I bet you'd like that wouldn't ya Lando??? It's all your fucking fault, destroying our family with your lies. Mum hasn't been right since!"

"That's because she knows the truth!"

"If it's so true, then why didn't he do it to me???"

"Didn't he????!! I think we both know the answer to that!"

Ethan spun Orlando around and gutted him, then punched him in the face before hurling him across the kitchen table. When Orlando tried to get up, Ethan kicked him in the stomach and then pulled out his switch blade, pinning Orlando's arm down on the floor one knee, and his other knee shoved into the back of his neck.

"Do you know what I do to little bitches like you?? Huh??!!"

Ethan plunged his knife into his brother's hand and held it there as Orlando wailed in pain.

"Now little bro, let's hope you've learned your lesson to never threaten me. You be good boy now and keep your mouth shut or that little kitten of yours that you love so much might find herself in a burlap bag sinking to the bottom of a river.. Now go clean yourself up, you're bleeding on my fucking floor."

Orlando winced as Ethan withdrew the knife and then he stumbled up to his feet and headed to the bathroom. As he washed his hand, he felt like he was going to be sick. If he tried to do anything, he knew Ethan would make good on his threat against you. All he could do now was suck it up and take it, and for you, he would.

You paced in your room trying to figure out what you should do. What if you were making a big deal out of nothing...but what if you weren't and Orlando was in trouble. You called him this time.

Ethan saw your call and formed a devious grin.

"Hey there Josie girl, what it do??"

"Ethan?? Where's Orlando and why are you answering his phone?"

"Ohhh that, yeah..he's uh...indisposed at the moment...got some girl upstairs last I saw. Guess he didn't like your facebook fluff. I'll tell him you rang. TTFN!"

"Ethan wait...."

He hung up and stomped on Orlando's phone. "Stupid bitch..."

You called right back but it went straight to voicemail, which told you the phone was now off. You checked your facebook really quick and saw that Orlando apparently gave Lee's post an angry reaction. Now you were certain something was wrong because Orlando was not that petulant. You grabbed your keys and headed out, calling Lee on the way but he didn't answer. You figured he must have dozed off in the bath.

"Lee, when you get this, call me asap! I'm on my way to Ethan's. Orlando is there and something is wrong. I'll explain more later."

As you pulled up to the downtown apartment, you could hear the music blaring from it. After knocking on the door repeatedly with no answer, you turned the knob slowly and to your luck, it was not locked. You walked in to see Ethan sleeping in a chair with his back to you and Orlando passed out in a chair across from him with a bloodied and bandaged hand and bruises on his face. Immediately, you called 911 and ran over to Orlando, startling him awake.

"J..Josie?? You..you can't be here! You need to go..now!" he loudly whispered.

Ethan awoke and sprung up, immediately shutting the music off.

"What the fuck are you doing here?!" he snapped.

You ignored him as the dispatcher answered. "911 What is your emergency?"

"Yes Hi, I am at 22 Main apartment A and there's been an assault. My friend is wounded and the assailant is still here. Ethan Bloom."

"What the hell, I didn't hurt him! You don't know what you're talking about!" Ethan shouted as he walked towards you.

"Stay the hell back Ethan! Get away from him!" you commanded as you held your hand out in front of you, standing before a dazed and confused Orlando.

"Orlando man, tell her she's wrong bro!" Ethan pleaded as he became highly agitated and gave Orlando a threatening look.

Orlando became dizzy and fell back into the chair, unable to think clearly at the moment.

"Hey, Orlando?? Stay with me ok? They're on the way. You're going to be alright."

"You've got to be fucking kidding me Josie!"

"Don't you move!!"

"Ok this is NOT what it looks like, Orlando...PLEASE tell the truth!"

"The truth is pretty fucking clear Ethan! You been doing this to him for awhile. The bruises that are always on him and what the hell did you do to his hand??! Look at him! He can't even stand up or speak!"

"Tell her Orlando! Tell her how you suffer from major depression and ptsd. Tell her how you don't take your meds and you drink all the time. Tell her that your injuries are self inflicted!"

You laughed sarcastically. "You expect me to believe he hurts himself??!!!"

"I do. I watched him tonight. He stabbed his own hand. He had some meltdown over some post of yours and Lee's. He does this shit all the time. Tellllll her Landy!"

Orlando stared at Ethan with both rage and fear in his eyes, for he knew if he told the truth, Ethan would find a way to hurt you, even if he was put in jail. He knew his brother had connections and wasn't willing to chance it....and he now knew without a shadow of a doubt, that Ethan purposely tried to run you and Lee off the road.

The sirens could be heard outside as the Salem police wasted no time responding to assault calls.

"In here! That's him, right there! I think he has a knife!" you blurted out to the cops.

"Do you have a weapon on you sir!" the officer asked as he kept his hand on his holster.

"Well...yeah...I do but....look, it's right here..."

Ethan went to out it out and the officer drew his gun. "Put your hands where I can see them. Now!"

He put his hands over his head as he gave another death glare to Orlando. The officer searched him and removed the knife from his pocket."

"Look man, like I tried to tell Josie here. Orlando took my knife and he stabbed his own hand!! He has mental problems and is off his meds."

"You shut up! You did this to him!"

"Sir...can you tell me what happened?" the officer asked Orlando. You watched as his eyes first went to Ethan's and then lowered. "Sir, did this man assault you?"

"I...I..."

Orlando leaned forward and became sick and then he almost passed out.

"Where's the ambulance?? He needs help, he's lost a lot of blood...and I think he was beaten too." you frantically said as you noticed blood now dripping down his fingers out of the saturated bandage.

More sirens were heard as an ambulance then pulled up.

"They're here now Ma'am." the cop said and then turned to Ethan.

"What's your name sir?"

"Ethan Bloom."

The officer turned him around and placed handcuffs on him.

"Ethan Bloom, you are under arrest. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be held against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. if you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed to you. Do you understand the rights that have just been explained to you?"

"Yes man but...I'm his brother man. I know him more than any of you. He did this. He will tell you when he can. I know he will...right Landy?"

"Stop it! You're coercing him." you snapped.

"Did anyone here hear me threaten him?? NO! You'll see Josie....you'll see..." Ethan said with an eerie smirk as they took him away.

The EMT's tended to Orlando as you tried calling Lee again. Finally he answered, sounding half asleep. As soon as you told him what happened, he jumped up and got dressed and told you he would meet you at the hospital.

"Orlando? Sweetheart, can you hear me?" you asked as you knelt down beside him. He was so out of it, but he managed to look at you and lightly smiled. "They're going to take you to the hospital ok?"

He understood that and panicked, grabbing your hand. "Don't...don't...go...."

"Shhh... I will be right there, I promise. I will not leave you."

"Can I please ride with him?? He's so disoriented." you then asked one of the EMT's.

They approved it and placed him on the wheeled stretcher, then took him out as you followed beside him, holding his good hand and talking to him to keep him calm.

The entire ride, Orlando was quite incoherent and your blood was boiling that Ethan would blame this on his own brother because you knew better. How could he do this to him?? and why?? Orlando looked so vulnerable and it broke your heart. All you could think of was what if you hadn't of went over? You stroked Orlando's hair while you watched the EMT keep monitoring his vitals, praying Orlando would eventually incriminate Ethan as his attacker, but mostly praying that he would be alright....and you could not wait to be in Lee's arms......

@redeemer46

[heard-nsfw-is-back]

Part 2 of jumanji!steddie. Had a hard time deciding if Eddie should be in the trailer and I'm also trying to see which kids should be the two kids in the movie but I'm thinking Eddie gets a house. Idk fukin plot convenience. I make the rules

Eddie slumps in his house. It's a decent size. Too rich for his blood but the pride of his father so, whatever. He might just pack a bag and stay with his uncle tonight. The thought of seeing his parents right now sends a familiar ache in his chest. He sets the game on the table in their living room. "Eddie? Are you home?" The voice of his mother scares him and he jumps to hide the board under the couch. "Uh.. yeah. Yeah mom, I'm home!"

He scrambles up to meet her outside in the hall. Hoping that she won't think to go in the living room and see what new thing he dragged in the house. It wasn't until she was grabbing his face and gasping, that he remembered the cuts and bruise he had. Her frightened and worried face was nearly worse than his father's stern disappointment.

He brushed her hands off his face. "I'm ok mom, really." "Was it that Billy again? I told you to stay away from him!" Eddie scoffed and pulled away. "Trust me. I did not ask for this." His mother rolled her eyes. "Well look, dinner is on the table. Your father and I are going out tonight." She pauses and grits her teeth. "He.. hasn't seen these yet has he?" Eddie shakes his head. She nods a small curt thing. "Probably for the best. He has some good news for you!"

The 'good news' was his father was sending him to boarding school. Eddie almost lost his mind. The pain from his face, the stark realization that his father just didn't want him around, and his mother's refusal to take any side made him make up his mind. He was going to run off. Meet up with his uncle and try his damndest to live with him. Anything was better than here. At least Wayne would want him around.

His parents slammed the door shut behind them and Eddie ran upstairs to pack just enough to get him through the week. Some comics, snacks, a couple of clothes and magazine with the coolest guitar he'd ever seen. He wanted it for Christmas but his parents were strict about noise pollution. Whatever that meant.

He ran up to the front door and swung it open to see Steve Harrington standing there looking probably as surprised as Eddie felt. "Um. Hi." Steve smiled and Eddie felt almost all of the day's worries just melt away. It was amazing what that smile could do to him. "I uh got your bike for you." Steve pointed to the mess of wires and basically scrap metal hanging together by a prayer and bubblegum. "Steve you can't be here. If Billy finds out, I'm dead!"

Steve huffs and walks in anyway, dragging the bike behind him. "Billy and I are done. He's so weird. He's jealous about everything. Besides. You're my friend. I'm allowed to have friends." Eddie closes the door behind him, trying to come up with a way to get objectively the prettiest boy in the state out of his house. What has his life come to? Steve looked at Eddie. "Did Billy do that?" Steve bit his lip. "I'm sorry. I'll talk to him in the morning." Eddie waved his hands. "No no no! I'm good! Besides I don't want him getting pissed. Again."

Steve walked up to him and looked at the small suitcase in Eddie's hand. He looked like he was going to say something but they both shrieked when a loud drumming interrupted them. Eddie recognized it and ran over to the board. Steve slid next to him and Eddie opened up the board to see a small game. Four home places and a small glass dome in the middle with paths winding between them. Steve picked up two pieces. An elephant and a bat. "Cool minis!" Eddie gushed and only winced a little at Steve's face.

"Nerd." Steve chuckled and Eddie played with his lip trying not to blush. Steve went to smack his hand off before it could bleed again and dropped the pieces by accident. They spun and went to the home spaces. Steve grabbed Eddie's hand, he just squeezed it and Steve took a steadying breath.

Oh we go baybee I'm so excited to finish the next part but I'm very sleepy (it's 1 am and I'm like 60 years old it's time to honkshoomimimimi)

[cookstorys]

𝙶𝚘𝚗𝚎

_____________

Character- Stiles Stilinski

Show/Movie- Teen Wolf

Warning- Ik I said I’ll make more happy stuff but this is from my wattpad acc

Females dni

_____________

he couldn't save you in time. Stiles always knew one day you were going to figure out about the pack but he just wanted to have a normal relationship with you for a while. Then, that while turned into a year and that year turned into two years. He knew at one point that keeping this from you was going to bite him in the ass later but not this hard.

"Be careful, you know how dark my streets get at night," Stiles said as he walked you to your car. "You know I will." You turned around to give him a peck on the lips. You turned back around to unlock your car door and start the engine. As you pulled out of the driveway you saw Stiles still waiting outside which normally he would have been inside by now but you quickly pushed that thought in the back of your mind to focus on the road.

Stiles couldn't shake off this feeling that something bad was going to happen. He tried to convince you to stay before because the full moon was tonight but you urged that you needed to be home tonight. As you drove a dark creature stepped in front of your car. You jerked your car wheel to the left to not hit the creature. Your car kept rolling as it fell down the hill. It finally came to a stop on its side when a tree hit the center of its roof. Leaving you unconscious and bleeding from your head.

——-Next morning——

Stiles had been worried all morning. He woke up to call you and you didn't answer which wasn't like you at all. He called your mom/father/parents and they said you hadn't arrived home last night. He called the police station to fill in a missing person report but his dad said he had to be gone for at least 48 hours.

Stiles had waited long enough already and he couldn't wait for another 24 hours so he grabbed his keys and went looking for himself. As he rode he saw your license plate on the ground. He pulled over to the side and got out to pick up the plate. He looked around for any other sign and that's when he saw the opening between the trees. He ran toward the opening to look down the hill and see you're [color] [car]. He carefully slid down the hill while pulling out his phone in a rush.

He walked over to the front to see if you were ok but he only saw you slowly but surely drifting off to sleep. "No, no, no, [name] baby please stay with me. C'mon, stay up." He said as he banged on the car to wake you up which didn't even affect you in the slightest. He dialed 911 and told them his location, problem, and name. When they told him they were on their way he hung up and tried to keep you awake. "Please [name] you can't leave me, I need you here with me. Please don't go I can't live without you. Please baby boy," Stiles said as he slightly banged the window of the car. That woke you up enough to give you a chance to mumbled a slight "tall, dark animal." Before falling asleep again.

——-7 hour later——-

By now the authorities had shown up and taken control of the situation. You had been in surgery for the past 5 hours. Stiles couldn'tstop thinking about what you said. What did you mean by "tall, dark animal." His mind went straight towards werewolf but every pack said they kept control of themselves all night. "You should go home, Stiles." Scott appeared beside him. "What? No, I'm fine." Stiles said biting his nails while rapidly tapping his foot. "Stiles, I agree with Scott you should go home," Lydia said in an innocent, sweet tone in her voice as she put her hand on his knees.

He looked at her than her hand before pushing her hand off his knees. "I said I'm fine" He spat at them with nothing but venom in his voice. "Stiles," Melissa said to catch his attention. Stiles looked up almost immediately with hope filling his eyes as he walked towards her. "Is [name] ok?" Stiles asked. Melissa's eyes quickly dropped. "I didn't want you to hear this from anyone else but me. Stiles, [name] didn't make it about time you found him it was too late his brain had too many blood clots. It's said to believe he died 2 hours into the crash. I'm so sorry Stiles." Stiles couldn't process this, how could the only person he promised to keep safe die in his arms, It wasn't fair, god no it wasn't fair.

"Can I see him?" Stiles asked. He at least wanted to see his lover one last time. "I'm sorry no one's allowed to him right now." "I want to see him. Now!" Stiles was getting angrier by every second. "Stiles calm down-" "NO, I WANT TO SEE HIM! LET ME SEE HIM NOW! I WANT TO SEE HIM ONE LAST TIME! PLEASE! NO, STOP IT!" He continued to yell by now everyone was staring and guards had to come and carry him out. Then, he stopped, he just stopped and let it soak in that you were gone forever.

[timeoverload]

Today was ok I guess. The morning was boring. I was just going through the motions as usual and I didn't want to be there. I tried to distract myself with music. I haven't been listening to music as much lately and I think it's because I hate using tidal now. It's really hard to find new stuff to listen to on there. I started using spotify again and I missed it. That made my day a little more bearable.

The afternoon was also pretty boring. I was ok with that because I didn't feel like doing a ton of shit. It was also 80 degrees in our department because the air conditioner wasn't working correctly again. One of the doctors got crabby because the sharp westcott scissors in his set weren't sharp enough. They had to open 7 peel packed westcott scissors because he wasn't happy with any of them. Some of them were labeled as sharp, but they were actually blunt. It's so hard to tell sometimes because they have been sent out for sharpening many times and the tips on the older ones are a little warped. He told the tech that whoever put the tray together needs to relearn the instruments. I think I was the person who wrapped it, but it was also a new tray that the coordinator had set up so I didn't look that close at it because she said it was good to go. It probably wasn't my fault but it irritates me that he talks to people that way. He is just grouchy all the time like a lot of the other doctors. I understand that they have a hard job but they don't need to take out their stress on other people. I just don't care for him too much because he has a history of being rude to everyone, including patients. One time he called a patient and he yelled at them. He told them they needed to get to the hospital now or he wouldn't do their surgery for them. Their surgery wasn't even scheduled until later in the day so he had no right to do that. A couple years ago, he ran into me super hard because he wasn't looking where he was going. I almost fell over and he didn't apologize. He just kept walking. He's a jerk with no manners.

The guy that has a crush on me was being weird again. He came up to me earlier and started talking about going to the movies. He asked me if I like going to movies because there's a new one coming out that he said looks good. He didn't ask me directly, but I could tell that he was trying to see if I would go with him in a roundabout way. He was very nervous when he was talking to me about that so it was pretty obvious. I told him I would just wait until that movie was out of the theaters so I could stream it instead. He got disappointed and backed off. I don't care. I don't get paid enough to deal with his shit. I'm still upset about what he said to me last week. I also catch him observing me often and it makes me uncomfortable because I feel like he is studying me or something. He makes comments about the little things I do that I don't think anybody else notices. Later in the day, he came to ask me for advice. He was asking me why people don't take him seriously and he asked me how I think he could fix that. I told him he needs to stop joking around constantly and maybe people will. He acted like he was surprised, but maybe he will listen. I still want to get away from him.

I am glad that I got off work on time and I didn't have to scramble to get shit done before I left. Tomorrow morning is also going to be easy for me. I only have 3 cases. I have 15 in the afternoon so that is going to be lame. I'm not going to think about it anymore right now. I'm sure it will be fine.

I really hope I hear back about that job sometime in the near future. I want to quit so bad. I have been waiting for the right opportunity to leave and this is it. I knew I didn't want to settle on just any job. I want to be somewhere that I will be happy and be respected. I want to be able to pester my favorite person/boyfriend every day. ;) Hopefully everything will get sorted out soon.

I also want to have fun now. I don't want to be in this room anymore. I am tired of bugs. I realized that I haven't been getting spider bites at night like I thought I was. The bites are too small to be spider bites. I'm not covered in them. There are just a few little spots on my legs but they are so itchy. I actually think I have some kind of mites living in my bed. I guess that's what happens when you have a 16 year old mattress. I know it's not bed bugs or fleas, thankfully. I can't see whatever it is that is doing that. I'm glad it's not too serious but I am uncomfortable. I don't think I am going to be able to get rid of them unless I take everything out of here and deep clean. I am going to do some cleaning this week so hopefully I can make it a little more bearable. I don't think it will affect anyone else in the house because everyone else's room is a lot cleaner than mine is. I can't wait until I can throw this bed in the dumpster where it belongs. I think I would probably cry if I could sleep in a nice bed. I don't want to live like this anymore.

I don't want to do anything the rest of the night as usual. I think about all of the shit I want to do all day and then by the time I get here, I don't have any motivation left. It's so annoying. I wasn't always like this. I already took a shower so now I just need to make food soon. I am going to relax and I will try not to stay up till 11:30 like I did last night. I hope that tomorrow will be a good day.

I hope everyone else has a good day tomorrow. Thanks for listening to me vent about stuff. :) 💖💖💖

[aquaaquila]

Let me join thus conversation:

The solid burn was regarding the "and you won't last a day here" that was the burn, not the home invasion.

And while Poppy's action was extreme, arguably Branch just had it coming. For years he was pretty much shitting on every troll celebration, even the small and unproblematic ones out of his sheer paranoia while also actively rejecting any attempts at trolls, in particularly Poppy, reaching out to him.

Of course the trolls lacked maturity to properly understand Branch's pain I can give it that, but Branch literally did not need to be asshole to them. Trauma is not an excuse to be a dick. Like, Snack Pack was rather tired of his BS and the only one who was actually an asshole was Creek. And like, didn't Branch himself broke into someone's house to wreck stuff inside and disrespect the ones living there in his paranoia? And how were the trolls even supposed to understand his concerns if he refused to ellaborate? Branch for them had no explanation so they didn't have other option than to think he's a drama queen.

And supposedly in spite of Branch being "right", he still didn't care himself enough to actually help out the other trolls. Like I can understand his cynism regarding saving the snacklack, but my dude was willing to live in solitude for 11 years not caring if people from his village would be safe. Heck, he wouldn't join them if they all moved and didn't care if they got eaten. That's a bit liw, sure the trolls wronged him but it doesn't mean he should be indifferent and numb to their suffering. I doubt anyone in snackpack (outside of Creek) would be ok or indifferent with Branch getting hurt in any way in spite of lack of friendship between them.

Poppy ultimately raiding his home had 2 objectives in mind: find temporary shelter for her people and convince Branch to help her as Poppy knew she couldn't do this on her own even if she was willing to try. It's not really villanous if my dude refused to be decent in favor of being butthurt. Branch maybe the most scared but he was the most competent in dealing with them. She also didn't use her power as a royalty to make all of this happen. Poppy could've been a normal troll and still bring everyone over simply because she's liked as a person, not as a princess. And cool he worked years for all his stuff in the bunker, but it still was just junk and Branch can have more than just that, something that shall nlt lose value the moment it stops being useful.

And now onto ukulele scene: Poppy is clearly struggling here, like the girl was stressed (and can you blame her after what she went through?) hence she had hard time sleeping. And her singing wasn't as loud as her party and ukulele was more to spite Branch who's also being a bitch here. Both Branch and Poppy can be jerks. And ironically the ukulele seemed to tame the wildlife around them which I would say made them a lot safer if all foresy creatures joined to harmonise in Poppy's song, big and small, and one wouldn't want to mess with such vibe.

And Poppy herself showed how resilient trolls can be when put in dangerous situations, and the lack of common sense comes from them living safely in the village while preserving happiness to an extreme degree.

And such petition won't work with Branch being fan fave and JT being influential to the movie. And Poppy was way more important in first 2 movies than Branch.

And maybe uf Creek was actually sorry for going through with Chef's plan, maybe he wouldn't die. Is Creek sorry for what he did? Even if he had no choice, ANYONE would feel like shit after committing something so heinous (he still wrote a death sentence to EVERYONE in his village), but did Creek feel bad? Agency will cime from that.

Cool idea about Poppy's mom, but I'd think she wouldn't be as broken as Poppy KNOWS family is complicated. Having a bad mom is not world-shattering anymore.

Okay, this has honestly been in the back of my mind for years now, but I feel like I must ask. Did anyone else feel an immense feeling of anger/discomfort when Poppy brought the entire village into Branch's bunker? Because I did. When I first saw it, I felt uncomfortable. And to this day, I get the ick thinking about it. Like, I get why she did it, and I understand that it was the safest thing to do for the village, but like... I can't explain just how upsetting it was to me. Branch is a better person than I am, because if it were me, just... no. And she didn't even ask properly! And then had the audacity to say it was a solid burn returned like??? No? No it wasn't? That was a home invasion, not a snipe back at him, what? In what world is his comment on her life skills even remotely on the same level as her just letting the ENTIRE VILLAGE in his house? And they weren't even good houseguests either! They IMMEDIATELY started messing with his stuff, like, have these trolls never heard of proper guest etiquette? Look, I love Poppy, but she can seriously get on my nerves a lot. Especially since the movies made it so that in the end, she doesn't really learn much because her screw ups have a way of completely disappearing with little to no consequences.

To add to this, anyone else feel like when rewatching the first Trolls movie, that Branch was in the right, and that he was done so dirty by so many? Like, the ukulele scene. As a kid, I did think Branch was being rude, but now? Those 2 were literally out in the woods, with who knows what out there. Poppy literally got her friends kidnapped by a BERGEN literally the DAY BEFORE, and she's going back to singing loudly? Like, Poppy, babe, are you TRYING to die? Her whole song just shows how much plot armor Poppy has because, seriously? Not to mention, trolls are tiny, so her singing could genuinely put a target on them. I feel like the only reason Branch didn't up and say this is because it probably should be common knowledge, but apparently, pop trolls don't really have much common sense. I really wish they had Branch explain it though, because as a kid, I thought him to be a killjoy and unnecessarily bossy. But now? Yeah, I can see why singing in the forest when you're tiny might not be the best idea. Makes me wonder just how the pop trolls survived all this time?

I love Poppy, I really do. She's fun, nice, and is a complex protagonist (who is awesome and not a Mary Sue, though the same can't be said for TBGO/Trollstopia Poppy) whose character development is very visible. However, the writers really focus more on Branch's character development than hers and focus more on finding new ways to traumatize him than finding ways to make Poppy more mature, and that's what really bugs me about Poppy's character.

I really wanna start a petition for DreamWorks to lay off Branch for once and give Poppy more attention. I'm not asking to all out traumatize her (though the idea of DreamWorks giving her the Branch Treatment is funny in the mean way) but it would be nice if they gave her another journey where she has to learn and grow, and for there to be consequences that aren't easily waved away by a song and dance. TWT did a decent job at it (it could have been better, but it was a start), and I really need DreamWorks to do something like that (but better, obviously) again.

That being said, I do like how they handled Broppy. They went from rival/strangers to friends to lovers. It didn't happen instantly, and the progression of the relationship didn't feel rushed or forced. They both have an equal standing in the relationship and are supportive of each other. It's cute, and I'm glad DreamWorks at least got that right.

This should have probably been separate asks, but oh well. YOLO or whatever. I just really wanna know your thoughts.

I'm mostly of the same mind it angers me but I get why she did it I feel at the very least she should have told everyone to behave themselves and not act like they were teenagers throwing a house party while their parents were away for the night.

some people have said that maybe she did in on purpose to pressure Branch into going with her but I prefer to think that wasn't the case because in my opinion that would be straight up villainous.

a Royal abusing their power to put pressure on a civilian to Risk their life to rescue a group of your friends who are in danger due to your incompetent leadership.

not to mention a civilian who she knows is more terrified of the Bergens than anyone else in the village.

yeah that would make her an out and out villain imo so I prefer to think that wasn't her intention.

I don't feel its so bad it needs to be changed in the story overall but I would have liked it had Branch actually called her out on it.

basically just have him angrily point out to her after she acts like it wasn't a big deal because it was just a bunch of old Junk. that it wasn't just a place to him it was his home and that wasn't just a load of old Junk it was stuff he worked hard for years to make and it made him feel safer it was the only place he actually felt safe and like he could relax.

maybe prompting Poppy to actually give a more genuine apology as before she just thought of his home as him being over the top for the sake of it.

since she and the village just viewed him as a Drama queen and she didn't really realise his fears were actually so genuine that the Bunker actually mattered to him that deeply.

part of me thinks the intent by the writers was for her consequences in the first film to be being betrayed by Creek who she cared about but yeah that whole thing could have been handled better.

her and her dads leadership put him in danger and he literally said what he had to say in order to avoid being eaten alive he didn't really have any agency in the betrayal.

so Poppy's somber pleas for him to not go through with it kinda make me mad tbh like this whole situation is your fault yet my guy Creek is expected to die because of it.

so your incompetent dad can live? yeah no.

also if you made that Petition for Branch I'd totally sign it 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

and I agree Poppy deserves some more focus and development tho a touch of angst for her I think could maybe be a good thing in making her character stronger.

like I've said before maybe having Peppy die in a future film and her at first trying to ignore her grief by focusing on her queen duties and slapping on her usual smile worrying both Branch and Viva.

or having her mother turn up in the future like some fans have suggested only for her to be a selfish villain who couldn't care less about Poppy and Viva.

and this is the proper shock to Poppy's "" family is always great "" mentality as even with Bro zone they worked things out in the end making her think no family could be entirely broken.

but her mother literally doesn't give a shit if her children live or die and she maybe abandoned them both when Poppy was a baby.

drawing a little contrast with Branch only for the mother to have zero remorse since she didn't want children and maybe she was only with Peppy for status as royalty.

and Bro zone could be shown as being more remorseful over the past even a while after the events of TBT which contrasts with Poppy's mom kinda nicely.

anyway I'm getting off topic a bit lol but yeah I agree Poppy needs more focus and Branch's needs to be picked on less by the writers.

but I feel a touch of angst directed Poppy's way could give her some good development and make her a stronger character overall.

edit. also as someone who doesn't like Hugs Poppy's smug stunt with the Hug time Bracelets does make me a little mad like tell the Trolls to Respect people's Boundaries Girl.

[miraculous-trinity-leo]

Whacky Gotham, Goofy New York, and Chaotic Paris.

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6) (Part 7)

Chapter 5: Then Let The Games Begin

•—–—–·†·–—–—•

Soooo, the Batfam is panicking, Gotham's confused as to why Iron Man is flying over Gotham like a madman, and Maria is with two of Gotham's Sirens (but only Ivy and Harley know this) having a wonderful time playing with Bud and Lou.

Let's start with the Sirens.

Harley is watching over Maria and Tikki as they sleep with Bud and Lou, Ivy walkes over to sit next to Harley, handing her a cup of tea.

"So, what's the diagnosis?" - Ivy

"She has some sort of trauma, has class issues... and handles more than she should, but still does everythin', on top of bein' a hero. She's been through some sh-t Pam." Yeah Harley may have found out Maria's a hero (if the tiny god and magic were anything to go by).

"Is she alone?" - Ivy

"No, thankfully, she has supportive parents, and friends that aren't little sh-ts. I think they're also heroes, she also has a lot, and I a mean A LOT of pent up emotions, she doesn't show anythin' negative, only positive things. She seems to shrink in on herself if she thinks she does somethin' wrong. Pam, we both know there's a limit to how much crap a person can take before they snap, and she's such a sweet kid. There has to be somethin' we can do to help her Ives." Ok she found out alot, but in Marias' defense, they have trustworthy souls, and they were the only other people (besides her friends) that she talked to about it, yes she had her Maman and Uncle to talk about hero stuff, but for the stuff her class does, she only ever vented (without being negative) to her friends.

"Her class is visiting the Botanical Gardens in three days, and it's a 2 part tour, so we can see just what's going on. If it's bad then we scare them a bit, if it's bad bad... they can handle a few slightly poisonous plants right?" - Ivy

"God I love the way ya think Ives, do ya think she can stay with us? I mean look at how cute she is with Bud and Lou... Oh my god, she's cuddlin' dem, and ya gave her a flower crown, how'd I miss that?! Where's the camera?"

Harley took a picture to remind her of this wonderful moment. As Ivy and Harley looked at the picture, they both promised to keep Maria safe, and maybe become sorta kinda-ish parents to her while she's in Gotham.

•—–·Now back to the Bat-Chaos Bat-Cave·–—•

Tim took over the chair and was now searching the possible locations with Jarvis, Damian was sitting on a different chair, trying to act cool, but he wouldn't stop looking over at Tim, to see his progress. Bruce was talking over the comms with Tony. Dick and Jason, weren't helping (they kept feeding each other worse and worse ideas of what could have happened to Maria). Then they heard Jarvis speak.

"I have found the most likely area Ms. Dupain-Cheng would be in. Her phone died about 56 blocks away from her hotel, if we don't count kidnapping, or murder, she would have thought about asking for directions, but may have decided not to considering the city she is in. So that leaves us with a possible 15-25 mile radius from her last known location. I think it best to divide into groups of two, have Oracle stay and update you if anything on security, and or traffic cameras happens. Bruce will be with Tony, Dick will go with Tim, and Jason will go with Damain to search within the area. Stephanie and Cassandra will search around a 5 mile radius near Wayne hotel." as Jarvis continued to explain the other details, the Batfam began to suit up, Batman met up with Iron Man, and they took the North area, Nightwing and Red Robin took the East area, while Red Hood and Robin searched the South. Steph and Cass were on foot in civilian clothes, searching the West area they were assigned.

They searched for the whole day, and came up with nothing. Until Oracle saw a video from a traffic cam around 9pm, 15 blocks away from where her phone died. She called it in and everyone went back to the cave. Once everyone was at the Bat-Computer, Oracle pressed play, the cameras didn't have sound, and it wasn't close enough to see if she was ok.

They watched as she went to an overgrown parking lot and sat down. She was looking down at the ground, and that's when they spotted two figures round the corner and spot her. They watched as the two figures approach Maria, and saw the startled reaction she had. They realized it was Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy that were talking to her, then they saw Maria collapse. They watched as Harley made sure she was ok, looking over to Ivy before looking back to Maria and picking her up. The last thing they saw, was Maria being carried away by two of Gothams' most dangerous rouges, but now they knew where to look next.

•—–· Back to Ivy and Harley ·–—•

Harley continued to take adorable pictures of the children.

"God, they're so f-ckin' cute!" - Harley for the 20th time

As Ivy continued to watch while caring for her plants, Catwoman walked in.

"Hey girls, got the stuff for movie night, so what are we- Holy mother of cats! He adopted another f-cking child didn't he! Where the hell does he keep finding them?! 7 was ment to be the god DAMN LIMIT!!!" - Catwoman

Maria jumped at the sudden shouting and may have accidentally summoned a yo-yo (one made useing creation magic and protection magic) before saying.

"Tikki where's the akuma?! How long was I out?! Forget it Tikki spot-" she then realized she wasn't in Paris, and seeing a new face, she also realized she just spilled her secret to another person within the same day... kinda

"Fffffffffffudge sunday that fell on the pavement!" - Maria shouted in baker profanities

"That's not how ya curse sweetheart. It should go more like-" Harley was cut off by a vine Ivy had summoned.

"Harley, cursing makes the plants sad, you know this." - Ivy said removing the vine

Harley just walked over to Maria and whipsered it in her ear.

"You're supposed to say it more like this, ' ..... .... ... .. ....... .. ... .....' ok?" - Harley ended with a big smile

"... I will never see this world in the same frickin' light ever again." - Maria

"ehh close enough." - Harley

"Can someone please tell me, WTH is going on here, on our special girls day off?!" - Catwoman

"She is a new member of the Sirens as of today, and as a member, she's unda our protection, so effective immediately." - Harley

"Cool." - Maria

"Harley." - Ivy

"Wut... first things first, if she is going to join, she needs to be very flexible, know how to fight, and be incredibly intelligent." - Catwoman

"She beat Ed's @ss with a gun pointed at her, and solved every riddle with ease, so I'm positive she'll be an amazin' addition to the team." - Harley

'God she sounds like a new mother now' "But we don't know how good her flexibility is." - Catwoman

"I know, hey Maria, ya wanna do some tricks with me, of course we need to stretch first, but do ya wanna give it a go?" - Harley

"Sure." - Maria

Ivy and Catwoman sat down on a couch a few feet away from where Maria and Harley stood in the empty part of the building. They started out with stretches, and to Catwoman's surprise (and Harley's delight) Maria copied Harleys streches perfectly.

"Ok, now that that's done, we'll start with some cartwheels, then move on to flips, then handsprings and so on." - Harley

Maria gave Harley a nod... and they were off... literally, Harley did a cartwheel into a handspring, and a few backflips, Maria executed it flawlessly. Harley did some more complicated gymnastics tricks, and Maria did it, Harley did triple backflips going into a cartwheel, into a summersault, and Maria did that perfectly as well. This went on until both Harley and Maria were slightly out of breath, both having massive smiles on their faces.

"Ives, please let her join, she's like a mini me." - Harley then hugged Maria and they somehow both tripled in cuteness as they both did puppy (or Puss In Boots style) eyes at Catwoman and Ivy.

"Sure Harley." - Ivy said walking over to give Harley a small kiss on the cheek.

"Okay... but she doesn't have a costume yet, and she still has to think of a name for herself." - Catwoman

"Is a mouse good, like a mouse themed costume, that or a Turtle themed one. What do you think Harley?" - Maria

"Mmmm, I like that with the mouse you can always toy with Cat, ya know, cat an' mouse stuff, turtle seems... weird even fawh Gotham, so personally I would pick mouse, just because of the cheesy jokes you could do." - Harley

"Very funny, ok then, give me a moment."  Maria then reached out her hand, her eyes then started to glow an icy blue, and a small portal opened in front of her, she reached in and pulled out a small pendant necklace. After she put it on a small mouce appeared and greated itself, Marias' eyes going back to normal after closing the portal.

"Hello I'm Mullo, nice to meet you all."

"Omg omg omg, It's soooo f-ckin' CUTE!" - Harley

"Best to assume all of them are extremely cute Harls." - Ivy

"What the Hell did I miss in the week I was gone?!" - Catwoman

"Ehh, not much, oh but Iron Man did fly aroun' Gotham a few times earlier this mornin' like a madman." - Harley

"Oh sh-t." - Maria

"Maria are ya ok? That was ya first official proper curse in my presence." Harley said looking over to the girl.

"He's gonna kill me." - Maria

"Wait, what do you mean Marigold?" - Ivy

"... He's my Uncle, and I never got to text him I was ok, since my phone died before I met you." - Maria

"Hey, I'm sure he'll understand, now what are we watchin'?" - Harley

"I think we have more important matters other than movies at the moment!" - Catwoman

"Ok, Me Myself and Irene it is." - Harley

"No! You basically kidnapped Iron Mans' NIECE!!!" - Catwoman

"Technically, she fainted and us bein' the good Gothamites we are, decided to take her with us, to make sure she was a-okay." - Harley

"I'm ganna need more than just a six pack of soda to get me through this... Just put the movie on already." - Catwoman

Catwoman sat at the far left end of the couch, next to her sat Ivy, then Maria, and then Harley, Bud and Lou by their feet. All of them sharing one big blanket (Becuase if Iron Man did show up, or any of the birds, then Maria was in a protective burrito and they may not see her right away) and they started the movie.

•—–·–—•

"Oh god, the poor cow." - Maria

.........

"Hahahaha, he stuck a whole f-ckin' chicken head in that guys @ss" - Harley

"The poor chicken." - Maria

"Maria you don't want to see this part." - Ivy then lightly covered her eyes for the ehem, chicken extraction.

.........

"Anyone up for another movie?" - Harley

"That depends." - Ivy

"Any suggestions Cat?" - Harley looked across to the other end of the couch to see Catwoman already sleeping.

"She took her cat-nap already? Seriously?" - Harley

"... What about Pirates of The Caribbean?" - Maria

"I'm good with that." - Ivy

And they started the next movie, Maria was happy, it felt like when her maman and papa would sleep with her when she made a pillow fort. It was a loving atmosphere, it felt safe, and nothing could ruin it. Marias' eyes became heavy, and she leaned her head on Harleys' shoulder, falling asleep after a few minutes.

Ivy paused the move looking over to see both Harley and Maria sleeping, soon Ivy also fell asleep in the comfortable silence.

…………………………

Around an hour later Maria woke up in a panic, she had a nightmare, and kept looking around frantically for someone with tears running down her face.

"What's the matter hun?" - Harley said looking around to see if someone had gotten in. When she looked back at Maria she saw that she was crying.

"What happened?" Harley asked in a kind voice that was filled with motherly love.

"I, just *hic* had a bad dream that's *hic* all, I'm fine." - Maira said trying to wipe the tears away.

"You're ok, I promise nothin's goin' to happen to ya as long as Ivy and I are here, ok hun?" - Harley hugged Maria, and she could feel the girl let out a few more sobs, and quick breathes.

"Thanks Maman." Maria didn't even realize what she had said, it just felt natural for her to say it.

"You're welcome hun." 'Omg I'm gonna cry, she called me maman!' Harley rubbed small circles over Marias' back, and began humming until she fell asleep, she continued to hug Maria until she also fell asleep.

•—–· Back to the Chaos Bat-Cave ·–—•

"What do you mean she's with two of Gotham City's Sirens?!" - Tony

"Tony, calm down, I'll call Selina, she can talk to them and get this all sorted out." - Bruce

"Your fiancee is a Gotham Siren too?! Why didn't you tell me?!" - Tony

"Why isn't she picking up? And unlike some people, this family doesn't like outing our secret identities... on live TV." - Bruce

"Oh well excuse me for not keeping my secret identity a SECRET!" - Tony

"I'll try calling her one more time." - Bruce

"Bruce, it's 3am. Who in their right mind ever stays up this late.... aside from this family." - Tim with a giant coffee mug in hand.

"... I'll just call her one more time." Bruce then connected it to the Bat-Computer so everyone could hear.

•—–· Back to the Sirens ·–—•

Catwoman's phone is ringing like crazy, waking everyone up, including a tired, annoyed, and confused Selina.

"Wth does he want at 3 in the morning?!" - Selina

"Just answer it so we can keep sleepin'." - Harley still hugging Maria

"I'm putting it on speaker, so you lot can testify against his @ss in court, for disturbing the peace."

•—–· Over to Batsy ·–—•

"Selina I need to ask-"

"WHAT THE F-CKING HELL DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND ABOUT A GOOD NIGHTS REST!" - Selina

"Oooooh, she sounds pissed Bruce." - Jason

"I'm sorry to call you at this hour, but we need to find a girl that looks just like every single one of my other kids." - Bruce

"Bruce... I thought we agreed that 7 kids was. the. f-cking. limit." - Selina

•—–· Back to the Sirens ·–—•

Selina looked over to Maria before muting the speaker.

"Do you want them to know you're here Kitten?" - Selina

"... I'm tired, I haven't had coffee, I have no filter, so f-ck it, act like you never saw me today, and let them drown in chaos. " - Maria

"I think I like filter less Maria." - Harley

"Okay." Selina shrugged her shoulders and then un-muted her phone, putting it back on speaker mode.

"Where was she last seen?" - Selina

"She was last seen with Harley and Poison Ivy, I want you to see if she's still with them." - Bruce

Selina looked over to Maria and Harley, both of them shook their heads with mischievous grins.

"I've been with them all day, and I haven't once seen a girl that looks like your kids. Now can I go back to sleep, and forget this ever happened?" - Selina

"WHERE IS MY NIECE!!!" - Tony

"Oh, hey Tony, didn't know you were there, don't know who, or where your niece is, but good luck trying to find her. Oh and Bruce, I'm shutting my phone off so you don't keep calling till the butt crack of dawn. And congrats it's now 4am. you owe me a lunch date, uh-ba-bye." Selina then hung up her phone and turned it off.

"That went pretty well if you ask me, now I'm going back to sleep." - Selina

•—–· Back to Batsy ·–—•

The room was silent for a few minutes before Jason spoke up.

"Does that mean that Pixiepop ran away and is even more lost now?!" - Jason

"Oh god, what do we do, what if she got hurt?!" - Dick

"What if she got kidnapped?!" - Jason

"What if she's with a big time Gotham Villain?!" - Dick

"... What if she got more coffee?" - Tim

"Oh Hell No" - Jason/Dick

"... Lets all go to sleep, and when we wake up, we'll head over to their base and double check. She could've just said that because I called her at 3am." - Bruce

"But my niece is still out there!" - Tony

"You're going to sleep Tony." - Pepper then dragged Tony to his room.

•—–· Back to Maria ·–—•

Selina went to a different part of the building, where Maria assumed the bedrooms were. Ivy had gone to the greenhouse to be with the plants, and now it was just her and Harley left on the couch, and she couldn't sleep.

"... Harley?" - Maria

"Yeah hun?" - Harley

"I can't sleep." - Maria

"Well, watcha wanna do till ya get tired?" Harley asked sitting up a little straighter to get a better look at Maria.

Maria gave a sly smile, and looked Harley in the eyes "Want to go free-running on the rooftops?"

"... Alright, but lets get some coffee, and a snack in us first." - Harley gave her a side hug, before getting up to go make the coffee, and grab some snacks.

After they had their coffee, they climbed to the roof of the base. Harley was in her outfit, bat in hand and ready to do some bonding.

"So, how does ya outfit work?" - Harley

"Like so, ready Mullo?" - Maria

"Yes Maria" - Mullo

"Ok, Mullo, Get Squeaky!" A bright light flashes, and when Harley could see again, Maria was in a dark gray suit, wearing black knee high boots, with a strip of pink at the knee, and black elbow length gloves with the same pink strip at her elbow. Her mask was a slightly lighter gray on the top part, and pink on the bottom. Her hair was pulled into two buns with pink ribbons that faded to gray, and to black at the very tip. Her jump rope around her waist forming a tail going just below the back of her knees.

"Just when I think ya can't get any more adorable. So what should I call ya?" - Harley

"You can call me Multimouse." - Maria

Soon they were racing and doing tricks off different roofs, they were really enjoying themselves. From one of the roofs they heard a commotion in one of the alleys, when they looked down they saw a man holding a woman at gunpoint.

"Not good, seems like he's got issues, probably lost his lover, most likely has additions to drugs and alcohol, and seems to be a little tipsy." - Harley

"I've got a plan." - Multimouse

…………

Multimouse droped a little way behind the guy, grabbing his attention while Harley got the lady to safety.

"You know there's a help center two blocks from here that would be more than willing to help you." - Multimouse

The crook just raised his gun to her trying to keep it steady as he spoke.

"Give me all your money little girl, or else I'll hurt you."

"1. That's not how you hold a gun. 2. That is no way to treat any girl. and 3. Instead of money, I'll give you my jump rope." - Multimouse

"Why the hell would I want your jump rope, that thing looks worthless." the crook lowered his guard enough as Multimouse pretended to hand over her jump rope, only to use it in a quick motion to dismarm the man, as Harley promptly knocked him out with one swing.

"Lets neva have ya at gunpoint again, okay hun? I'm afraid my heart can't take it." - Harley said while tying the crook to a lamppost.

"Sorry, but it was the best idea I could come up with at the moment, besides, any guy with a gun would feel like they have the upper hand if they're facing a random little girl with a jump rope, rather than Gothams' Harley Quinn with a bat." - Multimouse

"Sadly I'm just too popular with the kiddos on the street." - Harley

…………

They continued to stop a few more muggers on the way back to the base, and when they got back they peaked around the corner to see the whole Batfam plus Iron Man talking with Ivy and Selina.

"How much you want to bet we can get back out before they see us?" - Whispering Multimouse

"... Lets try hidin' in the kitchen." - Whispering Harley

As they tried to sneak by (still in their costumes) Selina just walks over and draggs them to the group.

"Here, now let me sleep!" - Selina

"Dang it Selina we wanted tah see just how long we could hide out in the kitchen!" - Harley

Selina did a double take now realizing they both went out.

"... You didn't." - Selina

"We wanted tah go free-runnin'! So what?" - Harley

"She could've gotten hurt Harls." - Ivy

"My suits magic, I am invulnerable to bullets, normal magic, swords, knifes, anything staby staby, and I can withstand any temperature in it." Multimouse said with a slight pout.

"Hold up, is she a magical girl?" - Red Hood in the background

When Selina let go both Harley and Multimouse went behind Ivy for protection.

"We can still make a run for it." - Harley whispered to Multimouse

"... Ok, I'll meet you on the roof." - Whispering Multimouse

Harley gave a nod as she slowly inched her wasy closer to the door that lead to the roof, as she saw Iron Man approach Multimouse.

"Please get out of your suit, we need to talk about why you're here-" - Iron Man

"Multitute!" - Multimouse

Harley then saw Multimouse shrink into dozens of tiny little versions of herself as her clones spread out in all directions, one of which was heading right for her.

"Wth, you never told us she could use magic!" - Red Robin

Harley picked her up, and slipped through the door without anyone noticing.

"That was great, but how do ya get back tuh normal size?" - Harley

"Simple, I just merge back with my clones." As she said this, all her clones came back, and she merged with herself, becoming normal sized again.

"Where to?" - Multimouse

………… So now The Batfam is trying to find many long gone Mini-Multimouses, and Harley seems to have disappeared with her. Harley and Multimouse are now running over the roofs, heading for Wayne Manor.

"So why are we going to Wayne Manor?" - Multimouse

"Because, Batsy will neva think of lookin' for us at his own home, at least not fawh a little while." - Harley

When they arrived at the Manor, Multimouse de-transformed as Harley knocked on the door.

"Ms. Quinn, Ms. Maria, pleasure to see you here, please come in." - Alfred

"Are any of the bat-birds here?" - Harley

"Ms. Barbara, Ms. Stephanie, and Ms. Cassandra are the only ones here at the moment." - Alfred

"Do ya think you can keep us bein' here a secret from Batsy?" - Harley

"Harley? What are you doing here with Maria?" - Barbara

"It seems that Ms. Harley and Ms. Maria are now playing hide and seek with the rest of the family." - Alfred

"Did someone say hide and seek?" - Steph

"Yes, so could we maybe try and keep this a secret from everyone else, please?" - Maria

"Sure, it was starting to get boring around here. We can all hide in the living room no one ever use. Barbara you show them the way, I'll get the food/drinks and boardgames." - Steph

"Is this alright with you Alfred?" Maria

"It's all right Ms. Maria, you can hide out in the old living room." - Alfred

"Thanks Alfie, ya the best." - Harley

"Thank you Alfred." - Maria

"Ok then, follow me." - Barbara

…………

In the old living room, Harley, Maria, Barbara, Steph, and Cass began to formulate a plan.

"Ok, so the best way for them to never find you is to have your phone off, stay away from any and all cameras, and show your face to no one." - Steph

"So, do you have anything in mind that you might want to do?" - Barbara

"Can we put them on a wild goose chase?" - Maria

Cass nodded to Marias' suggestion approvingly.

"I can hack a few traffic cams to help with that." - Barbara

"We can also throw in some useless hints, to throw dem even further off our scent." - Harley

"Good idea Harley." - Barbara

"Thanks, but how long do ya think we should make it last?" - Harley

"As long as Maria wants it to." - Barbara

"Then let the games begin." - Maria.

•—–—–·†·–—–—•

Chapter 5 complete. Hope everyone is stayin' safe, Rockin' those Positive Vibes, and havin' an absolutely wonderful day. BUG-OUT 🐞💮🐞

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[babymetaldoll]

DIWK - Chapter four: "Hurt"

Words count: 13,7K

The gif is mine ✨

Warnings: Hardcore Spencer trauma. Mention of drug abuse,  torture, Criminal Minds usual case triggers. Spoilers of Season 2 E14/15 Criminal Minds.

Summary: An unsub abducts Spencer, and reader blames JJ for it.

A/N: Have you ever wished you were there to save Spencer from Tobias Hankel? I know I have. I know reader wants to... I'm dying to know what you'll think of this chapter! Sorry if it's a little too graphic, writing Spencer's POV of this episode was really hard.

Series Masterlist

Chapter one | Chapter two | Chapter three | Chapter four | Chapter five | Chapter six | Chapter seven | Chapter eight | Chapter nine | Chapter ten | Chapter eleven | Chapter twelve | Chapter thirteen | Chapter fourteen | Chapter fifteen |

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

(Y/N)'s point of view

I remember the day Emily Prentiss arrived. We had a case in Saint Louis. Two serial killers, 'cos it couldn't just be one asshole making everyone miserable. And on top of all, Hotch was confused and upset 'cos he never signed Emily's transfer to the BAU. It was like someone was trying to force her into the team, and we all thought it was weird.

We left the bullpen off to the case and left Prentiss in the office, not knowing if she actually got the job or not. I know Elle and I weren't incredibly close, but it still felt weird to think someone might join the team and try to replace her. It didn't work that way in that job. It didn't feel right at the moment.

There is something I also distinctly remember about that day: Gideon talked to me. And not only that, but he actually trusted my knowledge. We hadn't been on the best terms for a few months, so that approach meant a lot to me.

We were at the police station. Reid and I had been analyzing the letters one of the killers had sent to a journalist to find something that might help us catch him before there were any more victims. That's when JJ and Jason walked in, and he asked about our progress.

- "He only sent this to an individual, which shows he is not confident enough to initiate contact with the masses."- Spencer explained as he projected an image of the letter on the wall.

- "Emotional indicators are analyzed through slants, and you can see the shooter maintains vertical, narrow letter writing, and both are signs of repression"- I said and pointed at the image on the wall- "And the pressure, if you look closely, it's excessively heavy, which shows that he's uptight and can easily overreact."

Gideon looked at me and nodded. It was my cue to keep on talking. For once in a long time, I was feeling approved by him.

- "You got all that from his handwriting?"- JJ asked me, surprised. Reid looked at me from the other side of the room, and I could feel his smile reflecting how proud he was of me.

- "Graphology is an effective and reliable indicator of personality and behavior."

- "But my writing is always different,"- she added, and I nodded. I was waiting for that comment.

- "Yes, because it represents your emotions at the moment, just like your facial expressions parallel the way you are feeling while you are speaking."

- "What else can we know about our unsub from this?"- Gideon asked me.

- "Well, our killer uses simple statements, all first person, like "I won't be ignored," which means he's obviously tired of feeling this way. He may have a job in solitude or one that he feels strips of his identity. His work might require him to wear a uniform, something that shows absolutely no individuality, or he may be overqualified for his menial job and feels that he doesn't get the respect that he necessarily deserves."

I made a pause and waited for his words. I was giving my best, and I swear I was still hoping I could ever get Jason Gideon's blessing.

- "I think we are ready to give a profile,"- he said and nodded.

And damn, that felt good.

When we were back in Quantico, Hotch had a long and clearly awkward conversation with the section chief, Erin Strauss. She was scary. She was clearly trying to get rid of Hotch, questioning his work daily, decisions, and how he managed the team. Why? I have no idea.

It felt she forced him to accept Prentiss into the team. We were one man down after Elle left. Ok, one awesome woman down, so we definitely needed some help. And Emily was a great addition from day one.

We clicked right away. Prentiss was funny, smart, but most of all, she constantly had to prove she deserved to be there. Just like me. Gideon gave her the cold shoulder from day one, and that I could relate. The only difference was that she won him over in a few days, though. I was still trying to win that battle.

Garcia decided we needed a girl's night, and she hosted the first of many "BAU Girl Power get together." Basically, it was us at Penelope's place drinking and talking.

That first night, we updated Prentiss with everything that had happened with Elle. She wanted to know everything about us, what we did, how long we've been on the team, and how we all got along. It was sweet and fresh. After that year in the BAU, I had already learned to enjoy the sweet things in life. Like getting drunk with my work girlfriends.

- "So, does Hotch ever smile?"- Emily asked, and we all laughed at the very same time. Yes, it was getting late, and we weren't as sober as we should have been.

- "He does! he does!"- JJ assured us- "You should see him with his baby."

- "He is a dad?"- Emily was shocked. I was surprised too when I found out Aaron was married and with a baby. The amount of time he spends at work always made me feel he had zero personal life.

- "And has a beautiful wife"- JJ added- "He is always laughing when he is with her and baby Jack."

- "I guess this job can drain the happiness from your day... "- I thought out loud, but before anyone could say anything about my dark and bitter comment, my cell phone rang.

- "Hey honey bunny, everything ok?"- I stood up and walked to the kitchen. I didn't want to interrupt the girl's conversations.

- "Yes, I just wanted to make sure you were drinking enough water between drinks"- I laughed and shook my head. Only Reid could call to say such a thing. He was the sweetest friend on earth.

- "Yes, I am, don't worry. I'm not going to be hungover or drunk tomorrow. I know you are excited about the new exposition."

- "You are gonna love it!"

- "I am sure I will"- and I wasn't kidding. I loved when he dragged me to the Smithsonian or any museum for some nerdy fun.

- "Have fun with the girls."

- "What are you doing, by the way?"

- "Just reading a little, you left your complete Sherlock Holmes collection here, so I'll be solving mysteries while you get drunk."

- "Don't have too much fun without me"- he chuckled and ended the call. I smiled and walked back to the girls looking at me with a funny grin on their faces.

- "Was that your boyfriend?"- Penelope asked me, and I frowned right away.

- "No, it was Reid. He just wanted to confirm we are going to the museum tomorrow."

- "Wait"- Prentiss narrowed her brows and looked at us confused- "Reid ain't your boyfriend?"

JJ and Garcia's laughter was epical, as well as my frown. They nearly gasped for air while Prentiss and I waited until they calmed down.

- "No"- I finally answered- "Reid is not my boyfriend."

- "He is more than that; he is her work husband,"- Penelope clarified, and I turned to her with my mouth wide open, shocked.

- "What the fuck? Reid ain't my work husband. He is my best friend!!"

- "Yes, and you happen to call your best friend "honey bunny," right?"- JJ questioned, just like she had a few months before when we were alone in our room away on a case.

- "Reid is my best friend, and yes, I call all my close friends by weird pet names. You will get one too if you are lucky."

- "But I thought"- Emily continued- "I mean, he looks at you like you are his sun."

- "No, Prentiss, the only coupe in this team is the one between "chocolate thunder" and "baby girl" right here"- I pointed at Garcia, and she just blushed and covered her face.

- "My love for Derek will burn forever with the intensity of a thousand suns. I mean, have you seen that man? he was made by the gods and sent to earth just to give my existence some sense"- we all laughed at those cheesy words, though Pen was serious about them.

- "But, have you ever...?- JJ looked at her and made a pause. We were all looking at every single facial movement or behavior she might show to read her body language."

- "My relationship with my loverman could never be tainted by something as mundane as sex."

- "Like you wouldn't lick honey from that six-pack and ride that thunder."

The words just left my lips, and I blame the buzz. BAU (Y/N) would have never said that. Drunk (Y/N) would, totally.

The girls laughed until tears fell from their eyes, and I just chuckled, honestly happy to make them laugh. I had been more of the real me than I had ever actually been around them in nearly a year.

- "Hello?"- my phone rang again when I was walking out of the bathroom. And this time, it was Paul.

- "Hey babe, what are you doing?"

- "Hey, I'm..."- I looked at the girls in front of me and sighed- "I'm stuck with paperwork"- and they turned to me immediately. I could read the "What the fuck" on their faces.

- "Well, I'm at Rob's in case you feel like dropping by. We are writing a few songs."

- "I'll text you if I finish with this early, but... have fun."

- "Ok, bye"- I hung up and sighed.

- "And that was..."- Prentiss asked, frowning.

- "My boyfriend,"- I explained and grabbed another beer

- "Sure, I could feel the passion,"- Garcia joked, but I just didn't think it was funny.

I knew my relationship with Paul wasn't alright. Actually, things with Paul weren't. Period. We were done, it was apparent, but still, neither of us had said it. That relationship was just a few phone calls every once in a while, only to make small talks. When we were together, we would just watch a movie, eat something, drink a few beers, and that was it. It had been a long time since we had sex or even made out. I don't know why I didn't end it sooner. I guess I was just afraid to do it.

But I let more months pass before I actually did something.

Spencer's point of view

I'm not proud of what happened that year after Prentiss joined the team. I think that year changed me profoundly, and a part of me never fully recovered afterward.

Maybe it had to be that way, and it was something I had to go through to grow up. I guess I'm still trying to make some sense of all the misery I put my friends through. Mostly (Y/N). She was in hell with me.

A few weeks after New Year, we started working on a case. Someone was killing wealthy people in their own homes. At first, we thought there were two unsubs, 'cos one of them called 911 after killing, and you could hear them struggling and arguing. But no, it was just one.

Tobias Hankel was a delusional serial killer. He had split personalities, not two but actually three. His father, the one who tortured me. The archangel Raphael, who was trying to make God's will, killing people. And himself, who wanted to save me, but instead, he nearly destroyed me.

What do I remember about the day he kidnapped me? I remember I was stupid enough to try to catch an unsub alone, just to prove I could take care of myself on the field. Hotch sent me and JJ to talk to Hankel at his house, 'cos apparently, he might have seen the unsub months earlier. But no, he was the unsub, and neither JJ nor me could stop him.

We hid in a barn, and I was so eager to prove I could catch him; I told JJ we had to split up to cover the place. I was counting on Hotch to get there with the team sooner than they did, and before I realized it, I was in the middle of a cornfield, and Hankel was pointing at me with my own gun.

I was sure I was going to die right there. All of Hankel's personalities were struggling inside of him. I couldn't stop thinking about why I thought I could do it on my own? Why had I been a reckless asshole? Was it because I wanted to prove I was an excellent SAA? Because I wanted to impress JJ? Maybe I tried to convince myself I could do the same job my team did. I knew I wasn't the most physical person, but I had a gun. I had been trained to capture killers.

Yes, I was an asshole that day, and I've regretted everything that happened that night many, many times in the following years.

When I woke up, I was tied to a chair, and the archangel Raphael had taken Hankel's mind completely. The room was dark, and it smelled awful. He was burning fish hearts and livers, 'cos he believed it kept the devil away.

I was confused and lost. My head was spinning, and my heart was about to burst into my chest. I knew I could die any second now. Raphael wasn't the one to show mercy. That's what I had learned from all the videos Hankel had uploaded to the web. He had shared with the world every murder they had committed to show the other sinners what was going to happen to them.

- "They believe you can see inside men's minds"- Raphael looked at me with dark eyes, implying he meant Tobias and his father

- "It's not true. I study human behavior."- my voice was shaking. I knew I had never been more scared in my entire life. He took out a gun and showed me one bullet.

- "Do you know what this is? It's God's will."

Things didn't look good for me. He put it in the cylinder of the revolver and spun it. He was going to let my life to luck.

- "You don't have to do this"- I tried to talk him out of it, though I knew it wasn't going to work.

- "No go, sinners, to your God."

And he pressed the trigger.

What went through my mind the seconds that passed between having the gun pointed to my face and realizing I had lived? My mom. All I could think of was how my mom would react to the news of my death. I could never bear to hurt her like that. I couldn't die. I couldn't leave her alone.

I sighed, relieved, and bit my lips not to cry. Raphael looked at me with a blank expression and walked out of the room. I had survived for now.

I struggled with my handcuff, but it was useless. My head was killing me. I could feel the open wound on my head, still dripping blood on my temple and head. I tried to focus on the pain for a few minutes, just to make sure I was awake. It was a nightmare, and keeping myself sane and conscious under those circumstances was nearly impossible.

How was I going to get out of there alive? Did the team know where I was? I had no idea where I had been taken. I had been unconscious the whole way. It was dark, and I couldn't see much around me. I wasn't afraid of that darkness. I was more fearful of the man that left me alone, 'cos he was armed and mentally unstable. Darkness had nothing on him.

I had to focus on the things that kept me sane. The things that made me want to get out of that room alive.

- "My name is Spencer Walter Reid. I'm twenty-five years old, my mother's name is Diana Reid, I was born in Las Vegas, October 28th, 1981."

I closed my eyes and tried to think of all the things that made me happy.

- "I work at the BAU, my best friend's name is (Y/N), and she sits at the desk in front of me. Derek Morgan is the closest I've got to an older brother."

He was. He still is. You have to be close to dead to start seeing things clearly sometimes. Derek was my brother. He treated me like a kid, but a kid brother. He was always teasing me, trying to teach me how to pick up girls, trying to drag me to the gym with him. Derek was a good friend, we were very different, and I knew if we had been classmates in high school, we would probably never have talked. He was a jock, and I was a nerd. But life had brought us together. And now I couldn't think of a better friend than him.

I tried to focus on my happiest memories. My birthday came to mind. The guys had planned a Halloween-themed birthday party at the conference room of the BAU. Of course, Garcia baked a cake and (Y/N) helped her decorate it. It was incredible, 'cos it was covered with tiny gourds and skulls.

- "Frank and Mikey sent you these,"- she announced after everybody had given me their presents. I wide opened my eyes in shock 'cos I had no idea her friends knew it was my birthday or even cared about it.

- "Why?"- I had to ask.

- "'Cos they think you are amazing. They actually wanted to come over to your house and have a few beers tonight."- I opened my mouth to say something, but Derek interrupted me.

- "Pretty boy is gonna get to work hungover again."

- "Shut up"- (Y/N) and I said at the same time, making everybody chuckle. I opened the present her friends had sent me and laughed right away.

- "Lucky Doc"- I read and took out of the bag a Sports Illustrated issue with Lila Archer on the cover. My cheeks turned red immediately.

- "Frank still hasn't overcome that story. I think he will hate you forever"- (Y/N) laughed (along with the rest of the team) and gave me another present.

- "They also sent you this. They said you were going to like the man in black"- it was a Johnny Cash's vinyl- "Frank picked it. He thinks he is some sort of musical psychic that can read people's taste in music."

- "We should get together and have a few beers one of these days. I need to thank them for these."

Gideon looked at me in silence as soon as I said those words. But I didn't care if he disapproved. I was going to be (Y/N)'s friend, whether he liked it or not.

He is the closest I've had to a dad in the latest years. He cares about me, and he tries to make the best of me that he can. Yes, he can be too apprehensive. I think that's a way to put it. But only because he wants me to be the best profiler I can be.

I never thought I would end up working at the BAU. I never thought I would love the job I do as much as I do. Back when I was in college, I thought I would dedicate my life to finding a cure for schizophrenia, but I ended up hunting serial killers across the country.

And though I was about to die, I didn't regret any of the decisions that led me there.

The morning found me shaking, cold, and scared. I was in a small cabin in the woods. Just like the worst and more cliché horror movie ever made. This was my own horror movie.

- "What are you staring at, boy?"- Tobias opened the front door carrying logs for the fire. His voice had changed yet again, so I knew it wasn't the same person I had talked to the night before.

- "You are not Raphael."- I whispered, looking at every movement he did.

- "Do I look like Raphael?"- had I insulted him? I couldn't tell. He turned to the fire, and I took a deep breath, doing my best to stay calm.

- "Thank you for burning those, for keeping us safe."- I said, looking at the fish hearts and livers he was preparing to put on the fire.

- "Don't try to trick me."

- "I would never try to trick you."

- "You are a liar."

- I'm not a liar."- it was hard to stay calm and not start screaming for help or mercy, but I knew that was going to take me nowhere with him.

- "Lying is a sin."

- "I'm not a liar."- he walked closer to me, and sat right in front of me, held my leg up, and grabbed my foot.

- "This will be over quickly if you just confess your sins."

- "I am not a sinner"- I whispered again. He took off my shoe.

- "We are all sinners."- it didn't look good for me, not at all, and I knew I had to talk to him with his words with his beliefs to save my life.

- "The Lord spake unto Moses saying "Speak unto all the congregation of the children of the lord" and say unto them, ye shall be holy, for I, the Lord your God, am holy."

Hankel, this time in the personality of his father, looked at me surprised. I might have done something right, 'cos he stopped moving, and for a second, I thought it was going to be ok.

- "You know Leviticus."

- "I know every word of the bible. I can recite it for you."- but his eyes turned dark again.

- "The devil knows how to read too."

- "I'm not a devil, I'm not a devil2- I repeated, and couldn't stop shaking, 'cos my life on the hands of a sociopath.

- "I'm a man, my name is Spencer Reid, and I have a mother, and I have a father just like you, and they taught me the bible, let me recite the bible."

My voice cracked at the knowledge of what he was going to do. He stood up, still holding my foot. He was going to torture me, he was going to try to break me, and I had to be strong. I didn't know how I would find the strength, but I had to be strong.

- "Time to confess, Spencer Reid"- and without further notice, he slapped a log against my foot, making me scream in pain. It hurt from the tip of my toes until the back of my skull. I hadn't felt that kind of pain, and it was worse knowing he was just getting started. Tears started falling down my cheeks in no time.

- "Confess!"

- "I don't have anything to confess."- I whimpered and closed my eyes, 'cos I knew he was going to continue his torture. And so he did. The pain was excruciating. I was sure I was going to pass out

I tried to go to a happy place in my head, somewhere when I could hide from all that pain. It was too hard, though. It hurt too much. I kept repeating over and over again I wasn't a sinner, begging Hankel for mercy, as he shouted I had to confess.

I made an effort to think about what he might want me to say. What did he want me to confess? Which sins was he talking about? But nothing came to my mind, nothing but the pain and the fear of dying.

(Y/N)'s point of view

The second we reached Hankel's cabin, I started looking for Spencer. I had a horrible feeling about it. Morgan and I headed it to a barn with Prentiss. There was no sign of anyone. It was dark and quiet. Never a good sign.

- "Shit!"- I whispered, staring at three dead dogs and a bath of blood in front of me. There laid the body of another victim that was missing from Hankel's last attack.

- "FBI!!"- JJ shouted suddenly. She was pointing his gun to us, clearly in shock- "Don't move!!"

- "JJ, it's Morgan, (Y/L/N), and Prentiss! Don't shoot"- Derek tried to calm her down, walking towards her- "Are you hurt?"- she lowered the gun and stared at us. You could read the fear and the trauma in her eyes.

- "Tobias Hankel is the unsub,"- she whispered as Prentiss rubbed her arm sweetly, trying to comfort her.

- "Yeah, we know"- I moved towards her too and put my gun back into the holster.

- "And we thought he was just a witness"- we looked around, and JJ pointed at the dead dogs.

- "JJ, where is Reid?"- Derek asked her, but she just continued talking.

- "They completely tore her apart"

- "JJ, look at me,"- I said and held her arm carefully- "Look at me, where's Reid?"- she was shaking, and her voice was cracking. I knew she was making her best effort to pull herself together.

- "We split up. He said he was going to go in the back."

And there it was. That was the reason why I had a bad feeling all along. Derek looked at me and nodded as we read each other's minds. The two of us turned around and ran outside, leaving JJ with Prentiss, waiting for the medical team and ambulance to check on her wounds.

Gideon and Hotch were inside the cabin, looking for Hankel, but there was no one there. And there was no sign of Reid behind the barn either, in the cornfield, or anywhere in the perimeter. Reid was nowhere to be found, and I started losing it little by little. I tried to repeat myself the words Hotch had said many times during my year in the BAU: "when you are out there with the team; your mind has to be one hundred percent on the case." But the case had never included my best friend missing before.

- "Hey, is there any sign of him yet?- I asked the police chief as I reached the ambulance. He was there talking with JJ, making sure she was ok.

- "We got every one of our units on the road. He won't make it far"- I nodded and watched him walk away. I knew he thought I was talking about Hankel, but I actually meant Reid.

I turned to JJ and moved a little closer to her. Her eyes open wide, staring back at me.

- "You can't find Reid?"- I just shook my head and tried to sound as casual as I could, not to freak her out. She was still in shock. I didn't want to make it worse.

- "Not yet"

- "(Y/N)"- Derek held my arm and forced me to walk away from the ambulance.- "Reid followed him into the cornfield. It looks like somebody got dragged."

My heart stopped. Did the psychopath hurt Spencer? Did he kill him? Did he torture him? Was he hurt? Was he alive? Where was he? Derek looked at me, and I nodded. I bit my lips and took a deep breath. Hotch's words were my mantra now: "your mind has to be one hundred percent on the case."

- "Are you sure?"- we turned to the police's chief, overhearing his conversation- "We are on our way now."

- "What's going on?"

- "The sheriff down two towns over, he just gave directions to a man who fit Hankel's descriptions. It's to a motor lodge in fort bend."

- "Let's get Hotch and Gideon"- Derek held my arm and walked with me to the cabin. We had to find Reid, and we had to do it fast.

That was the worst night of my life. The first worst night of my life, to be sincere. I didn't close an eye. I went through every paper, every note, every detail in that cabin, trying to find a clue that could lead us to where Tobias had taken Reid.

I felt someone had ripped my heart from my chest. I had to think straight, and to do it, I had to keep a cold head. But as the hours passed, it became a more demanding and more challenging task to complete. I knew the whole team was suffering, but that didn't ease my pain. And I knew JJ felt guilty, but that didn't stop me from blaming her in my mind. She left him alone. I would have never left Spencer alone on the field.

- "(Y/N), you should try to get some rest."

Derek whispered as he sat on the floor next to me, where I had been sitting for the last half hour, reading Tobias's old diaries. Nothing but fear of his father, mentions of Dilaudid use, and bible transcriptions.

- "I'm ok,"- I answered and didn't even take my eyes from the pages.

- "(Y/N), I mean it"

- "I'm not going to rest if he is out there in the hands of a psychopath, Derek"- I had to bite my lips and shut the fuck up, 'cos if I said one more word, I knew I was going to burst into tears.

Morgan just wrapped an arm around my shoulders and moved me closer to him. That was the first time I let him hug me, and it felt good to know I wasn't alone in my desperation. I knew he loved Reid like a brother, and neither of us was going to stop until we found him.

- "Welcome to our nightmare"- JJ's voice broke the silence we had been into for the last hour when Hotch walked into the cabin with Penelope.

It was morning already. There were still no signs of Reid. Prentiss, Gideon, JJ, and I had been sitting at the table, reading everything we could.

- "His computer is an extension of his brain. I need you to dissect it,"- Gideon whispered to García. You could feel the concern in his voice. She just nodded in shock and turned to Derek, who held her hand and helped her get set up in the computer room.

- "So, nothing new since I left?"- Hotch asked and looked at us. I just shook my head and continued reading.

- "Well, the good thing is the guy documented practically every second of his life"- Prentiss words took me from the pages I was reading. I looked at her and raised an eyebrow. The concept of "good" was poorly used in that phrase.

- "The bad news is, we are still un-piling,"- she added and sighed.

- "From the looks of it, he hasn't left this place in years,"- JJ managed to say. She made her best effort to be useful, but she was in worse shape than everybody else. Yet, that didn't make me feel bad for her. I was mad at her and kept making my best to put it aside, 'cos my head had to be in the case.

- "He knew he could pretend to be looking for a motel and throw us off his trail,"- Emily inferred, but I shook my head as soon as I heard her.

- "No, no, no, it's more than that!"- I shook my head and took a deep breath- "Sheriff's office, 911 calls, every time he engages the police and gets away with it... he reassures himself, God's on his side. Not ours."- I added.

Gideon nodded, and we shared a moment of agreement. He was as worried as I was. I could feel it. I'm not saying the rest of the team wasn't, I'm saying Jason was as fucked up as I was, and I could sense he was having the same trouble I had making sure my head and not my sentiments were into the case.

But if anything happened to Reid, I didn't know what I was capable of doing.

At a certain point, I got sick of reading and not doing anything and decided to look around the house again if we had missed anything. Derek went along. One part of me felt he wanted to stay away from JJ too. Maybe he was as mad as I was about her leaving Reid alone. I know I couldn't blame her, but I did it anyway.

- "Guys!! I think I've got something!"- Derek yelled, and I ran over. He opened a door that led to a basement. I walked right behind him, pointing my gun and my flashlight all over. But there was no sign of Reid.

- "Tobias Hankel!!"- Morgan shouted. Someone was sitting in what looked to be a gigantic freezer- "Tobias!"- but we didn't get any response. I took a step closer and examined carefully.

- "Morgan, I think we just found Hankel's father."

Spencer's point of view

On my second night in that cabin, I met Tobias. The third personality of Hankel walked into the room, carrying what seemed to be a dead deer. He looked as frightened as I was.

- "You need to eat."

- "What's your name?"

- "Tobias."

- "Tobias, who was here before?"

- "Probably my father."

He looked at me up and down, and he immediately understood what he had done to me. It was scary how he could dissociate. Someone with multiple personality disorder is usually unaware of the other personality states and memories when an alter is dominant. In this case, Tobias knew the other personalities but considered them different persons. He didn't think they were all in his head.

- "I'm sorry if he hurt you."

He looked at me like he understood everything I had been going through. Maybe he had been through something similar when his father was alive. Perhaps he had been a victim of Hankel as well, and that's what triggered his psychopathic nature.

He walked over and took out his belt.

- "What are you doing?"- he wrapped it around my arm, and I started begging him to stop.

- "It helps"- he took out of his pocket a needle and a small bottle of what seemed to be some kind of drug.

- "Don't tell my father. He doesn't know they are here."

- "Please, I don't want it, I don't want it, please"- I cried and begged.

- "It helps. I know"- it was the last thing Tobias said before the needle found my vein.

And he was right. It helped. Every single amount of pain I was feeling disappeared. My brain shut down. Somehow, everything was ok. I never had in my entire life felt so good before.

My mind kept flashing memories of when I was a kid. I kept seeing images of the day my father left and how he called my mother crazy.

- "You are weak"- mom spit those words after he refused to take me with him. I know she said it not because she didn't want me with her, but because mom knew she was sick and wanted the best for me. And he refused.

- "I'm not weak."- I whispered as I looked at her smiling back at me.

- "I know, honey."

I don't know how long I was drugged, but when I woke up, Tobias wasn't there with me anymore. It was his father.

And the torture continued.

(Y/N)'s point of view

Gideon was trying to convince me to go out with Prentiss and JJ to see a Narcotics anonymous's contact that might give us more information about Tobias. Emily had found some flyers about it in his room, and it could be the only lead we had to find him and Reid.

- "You need to get out of this house for a while"- he whispered and tapped on my back.

I knew he wasn't the one to be loving or physical with people, less with me. But that moved me. I turned to him and my eyes watered up. I was scared, and I couldn't hide it anymore. The more hours passed, the fewer the chances were to find Spencer safe. Alive.

I felt his arms around me suddenly, holding me tight, trying to keep the pieces of me together. We were alone on the porch, and though I didn't want to fall apart, I couldn't hold it anymore.

Jason didn't say a word. He just hugged me and let me cry for a few minutes. I didn't say anything either. I actually couldn't because I was overwhelmed with everything.

- "Are you ready, (Y/N)?"

Prentiss whispered as she walked over with JJ. I turned my back at them for a second to hide the tears that kept falling down my cheeks. I knew it was a shitty thing to do, 'cos it was obvious I had been sobbing, but they gave me the courtesy of not saying anything.

- "You go, I need (Y/N)'s assistance with some diary entries"- the two of them walked away quietly, and thankfully, didn't argue with Gideon.

- "Thank you,"- I whispered and felt his hand on my shoulder one more time.

- "You are doing a fantastic job,"- he said and turned around.

I wish I could tell you that made me feel better, but instead, I just thought I had the duty to bring my friend back home safe.

It had been at least an hour since the girls left. Morgan, Hotch, Gideon, and the police chief were in the living room with me, reading. I sipped my hundredth cup of coffee and re-read the same diary entry for the third time.

- "There's something weird going on here."- I thought out loud and walked towards Gideon

- "You think?"- the police chief turned to me and raised an eyebrow, ironically.

- "No, seriously, check this out. This journal is filled with religious ramblings. He notated hour by hour: "November 15th, 3:17, if ye offer a sacrifice of peace offering unto the Lord, ye shall offer it at your own will", and it goes on and on: 5:04, 7:41, 10:22, 1:42."

I made a short pause and looked at Gideon and Hotch. They didn't get where I was going.

- "But then, it goes blank for days."

- "Maybe he got sick of writing"- I seriously hated that police chief.

- "I think I got it"- Hotch whispered- "Journal entry: "December 6th. Father is sick. He wants me to put him down. I say thou shalt not kill. He said, honor thy father. Must pray for guidance."

- "So he kills his father as an act of mercy?"- Gideon asked, knowing the answer.

- "This is two months ago. Tobias Hankel's father had been dead for four months already."

- "That's exactly it"- I murmured, thinking Tobias Hankel was way more fucked up than we thought.

- "Look at the floor"- Derek pointed at a chair and moved it- "These scuffs marks are fresh. It's like two people were pushing the chairs constantly, trying to fight for control."

- "So?"- I swear to God, that chief was driving me insane.

- "This journal matches Charles Hankel's handwriting, but it was written after he died"- I explained. Still, it felt he wasn't following me.

- "What do you mean?"

- "Upstairs, Tobias' bedroom got junk piled from floor to ceiling, but the other bedroom could pass a military inspection."

- "So, are you telling me one of Tobias' personalities was his father?"

Apparently, I had to draw a picture so the chief would get it. Fortunately, Gideon continued explaining the whole problem before I lost what was left of my patience.

- "Well, Tobias was raised with a strict religious code, black and white, right and wrong. When his father asked Tobias to kill him, something had to give."

- "His brain couldn't handle the moral contradiction, so he split into two personalities to keep his father alive."

Hotch tried to put it most easy and simple words possible.

- "So, who is Raphael?"

- "My guess, he is a mediator between the two"- Gideon nodded at my words and sighed.

- "Angels have no human emotions, live or die. They don't care, as long it's God's will."

- "We need to start profiling Tobias' father. He may be the one who chose where to take Reid."

Finally, I felt we were going somewhere.

When Emily and JJ came back, they gave us the news. Tobias was addicted to Dilaudid, which explained the fracture in his mind, and how he lived with three distinct personalities.

The police chief announced a computer store robbery, giving us some hopes that Tobias would use them to track him down.

- "Guys!! Guys!! get in here!!- I heard Derek shouting and I ran to the computer room. I felt sick in the stomach in less than a second. There he was, Spencer. My Spencer Walter Reid, tied to a chair, bleeding, shoeless. Clearly tortured.

- "He's been beating,"- I whispered, feeling my eyes water up. I would have given anything to be there instead of him.

- "Can you track him?!"- JJ yelled by my side, and I nearly smacked her. That's how sensitive I was feeling.

- "Hankel's only streaming this to his home computer."- Garcia whispered. And my heart dropped with those words.

That wasn't what I was supposed to hear. We were supposed to find him and bring him back safe.

- "This is for us"- Gideon didn't take his eyes from the screen- "He knows we are here."

- "I'm gonna put this guy's head on a stick"- Morgan was so mad I believed him. I wanted to do the same, if worse.

- "I'm gonna kill him myself as soon as we find him,"- I said and felt Aaron's hand on my shoulder as he asked Garcia

- "Why can't you locate him?"

- "He's rerouting to a different IP address every 30 seconds. I can't track him."

It knew it had to be hard if Penelope couldn't find her, but that didn't help. If anything, it made everything worse. I felt powerless. Hankel couldn't be more intelligent than us.

Spencer's point of view

- "Are you ready, boy?"- Hankel pulled my hair and forced me to look at him. I was still as high as fuck, but knew I was about to be tortured again.

- "Ready for what?"

- "My weakling son thinks God gave you to him for a reason"- if the reason was to get me into drugs, then the answer was yes.

Hankel placed a video camera in front of me.

- "Can you really see inside men's minds?"- he asked me and made a pause, pointing to three screens- See these vermin?

It took me a second to realize he was showing me images of real people. He had put cameras in those people's houses. How? When? What kind of sick game did he want me to play with him?

- "Choose one to die. I let you choose one to live."

- "No"- I didn't even think about my answer.

- "I thought you wanted to be some kind of savior."

- "You are a sadist and a psychotic break. You won't stop killing. Your word is not true."

I don't know if it was because of the drugs or because I hadn't eaten or drank any water in too long, but I was somehow resigned and tired of fighting.

- "The other heathens are watching- Hankel announced and pointed at the camera in front of me."

My eyes fixated on the camera right away. My team was watching me. (Y/N) was watching me. I didn't want to make her worry even more. I needed her to know I was ok. I know I wasn't, but I didn't want her to worry about me.

- "Choose a sinner to die, and I'll say the name and address of the person to be saved"- Hankel was sick. It was all a game, and religion was just an excuse to kill.

- "I won't get to choose who gets slaughtered and have you leave their remains behind like a poacher."

Hankel didn't like my answer, 'cos he grabbed me and pulled me up, looking into my eyes, insulted, annoyed, losing his temper.

- "Can you really see into my mind, boy?"

He was honestly scary, and it petrified me to think he could execute me right there, in front of the team, and I could never tell them how much they mean.

- "Can you see I'm not a liar?!"- he insisted. I nearly whimpered but made my best not to break- "Choose one to die and save a life. Otherwise, they are all dead."

He dropped me on the chair and turned around. It was clear he wasn't joking. I took a deep breath and nodded.

- "Alright, I'll choose who lives."

- "They are all the same"

My eyes traveled across all the monitors. It was nearly impossible to pick one person to live, knowing all the other people there would die. Hankel was sick, and I had to set a plan to escape because otherwise, I would end up dead.

- "Far right screen,"- I whispered. He turned around and nodded.

Then, he recited the name and address of the woman on the screen. I prayed for the team to find her before Hankel came after her too.

No. It wasn't Hankel this time.

- "Raphael,"- I whispered, and he nodded. I looked at the screen again. The woman we were watching picked up the phone. She was in her kitchen. He walked around, frowned, and turned to her computer. In a second, she had turned it off. My team had reached her. She was safe, I hoped.

Hankel turned the camera off and looked at me.

- "You've done your part. Now it's my turn."

I knew what that meant. It wasn't good.

He left the cabin, and all I could see were the monitors in front of me. Those people were going to die. They were going to die because I didn't pick them. I killed them. You don't need to pull a trigger to kill someone. I could never forget those words. And this time, they meant more than anytime before. I didn't press a trigger, but I had killed two innocent people. And I actually had to watch them die.

When I saw Rapahel walk into the victims' house, I tried to close my eyes and think of anything else. A part of me kept thinking he wasn't going to kill them. He just wanted to threaten me.

But not. Raphael slaughtered them.

I found myself craving whatever it was that Tobias had given me the night before. The drug in my veins had given me a kind of peace I had never felt. And I never thought I'd have either. The type of peace that can be addictive, 'cos it turns your head off. And God knows, sometimes I needed to turn my head off.

Remembering everything that has ever happened to me, especially all the awful things, wasn't a gift. It was a burden. And whatever it was that Tobias had put in my veins, it had taken that burden from my shoulders, at least for a couple of hours.

Who wouldn't want some more of that peace?

- "Reid!"- Gideon's voice took me from my thoughts. He was sitting right in front of the camera in the victim's house. He was there with Hotch and the police, investigating the crime scene.

- "If you are watching this, you are not responsible for this. You understand me? he is perverting God to justify murder. You are stronger than him. He can not break you."

I know he meant it. But I couldn't believe any of that, not after watching a family get slaughter just because I didn't pick them.

(Y/N)'s point of view

- "I thought you were going to try and get some rest,"- I said as JJ walked to me in silence. I made myself my hundredth cup of coffee, and she just showed up next to me, trying to engage in conversation, I guess.

- "Everybody else is working. I should be too."

- "We can handle it,"- I whispered and refused to look at her. I swear I was trying not to hate her, but it was getting harder and harder with every hour that passed without finding Reid.

- "It's funny, I keep thinking the one thing we need to crack this case is... well... Reid"- she chuckled, nervously and I just looked at her and nodded. I didn't even smile. I didn't move a muscle.

I didn't want to be with her, or anyone, as a matter of fact. And I wasn't going to hide it anymore. So I tried to walk away.

- "You think Reid and I should have stayed together at the barn, don't you?"

I stopped walking and looked at her. You could tell she was having a hard time facing the whole situation, and most of all, you could tell she felt guilty.

That really didn't stop me from being mad at her. I was trying to be the better woman during the investigation, but the uncertainty was getting on my nerves.

- "JJ, go get some rest,"- I tried to answer calmly, but I knew I was looking at her like she was dead to me.

- "I can tell that's what you are thinking, so..."

- "I just wanna get Spencer home safe."

- "But... if I had his back like I was supposed to do, he'd be here now"- and that was enough.

- "JJ, what the fuck do you want from me?"

- "I just...."- she was about to cry, you could tell- "I want someone to tell me the truth."

- "You want the truth? Ok, there you go: I would have never left him alone. None of this would have happened if I had been the one with him out there! 'cos I would never let anyone or anything hurt him!!"

I shouted. All the anger I had been feeling those days was finally getting off my chest. And fuck, it felt good.

- "You fucked it up, JJ, and if something happens to Spencer, I am never going to forgive you, never!"

JJ bit her lips, trying her best not to cry. But I still couldn't feel sorry for her.

- "Is that the truth you were looking for?"

- "(Y/L/N)?"- Hotch stood next to me with the most annoyed look in his eyes.

I knew I was out of line, but this wasn't about work anymore. This was personal. This was Reid we were talking about, and JJ had fucked it up. There was nothing to discuss.

- "What? You sent him with her, now she is here, and he isn't. What else is there to say?"

- "(Y/N)!"- Hotch followed me as I stormed out of the kitchen and out of the cabin- "(Y/N)! stop!"

- "What?!"- and I simply snapped- "Are you gonna suspend me for telling her the truth? Are you going to fire me for losing my shit while working a case!? Fine! I don't care! I don't give a fuck! All I care about right now is that my best friend is missing, and a fucking psychopath has him! That's all I can think of. That's all I've been thinking about for the last two days!"

I was yelling at Hotch. I was yelling at my unit chief. I was fucked. I knew he was going to fire me after that. But I couldn't help it. I was going insane. Tears kept falling from my eyes as I held my cup of coffee tight, holding onto it with my life.

- "(Y/N), we are all worried about Reid."

- "I know you are all worried. I am too, and I'm also afraid and mad and going fucking insane knowing I am standing here not knowing what to do to save him."

- "That doesn't give you the right to treat JJ like this is her fault"- I don't know if he was talking like my unit chief or like a father figure trying to end a fight between two of his kids.

- "Did she stay with Reid?"- I simply replied and looked at Hotch in the eyes- "Did she?"

- "She is not the only one who feels guilty, so do I. And I know I won't forgive myself if anything happens to Reid."

Hotch made a pause and tried to find a way to say what he wanted to say. The door opened, and Gideon walked to us. He knew what was going on, and he didn't say a thing. I was sure he had already heard everything. We weren't actually arguing quietly.

- "We are not getting any closer,"- Aaron finally said.

- "Reid is brilliant. He'll figure out how to survive"- Gideon's words were way more hopeful than my thoughts. In my mind, Reid was too scared to think of a way to escape.

- "You know, I always take advantage of Reid for his brain. But I never actually teach him how to deal with things emotionally."

Hotch whispered, and his words were filled with regret. I was filled with anger and anxiety, and I know the two of them felt the same. But they way better at handling their feelings.

- "Lead by example,"- Jason answered, probably trying to make him feel better.

- "What kind of example is that?"- I simply replied, and both of them stayed in silence.

I don't think my words helped Hotch, but I wasn't trying to do that either. I was just honest. And Hotch's emotional assistance was shit on the field. Even Gideon was better.

- "He'll make it,"- Jason reassured us and nodded- "Now stop arguing and go back to work."

Spencer's point of view

I was glad when Tobias came to me that night with a needle in his hand and put the drug into my vein. I needed some release after watching a family die 'cos I didn't save them.

- "I'm sorry I had to leave"- he excused himself, preparing the drug next to me.

- "You can leave again, and you can take me with you,"- I begged in a soft voice.

- "My father would be angry,"- he replied and didn't even look at me. This time, I didn't even argue when he wrapped the belt around my arm. I was even a little eager he'd do it faster.

- "Not if he can't find us."

- "He always finds me."

- "If you tell me where we are, my friends will come, and they'll save us."

He gave me a look, mixed with horror and resignation. It broke my heart to think for a moment of all the horrors that lead Tobias to be as sick as he was.

- "We can't be saved,"- he simply replied.

- "We can, we can, I promise. If you tell me where we are, I'll save us both."

- "Listen to me. It's not worth fighting."

Somehow, I understood why he said that. I was afraid and shaking but still did my best not to think of all the pain I was in, of the terror that haunted me day and night.

- "Tell me it doesn't make it better- he said and showed me the needle."

I couldn't say no, 'cos he was right. It did. The drugs made his horrible situation bearable. I could understand why someone decided to use something to avoid the pain. I had faced all and each one of the pain and horrors in my life sober. It was time life was a little bit sweeter, in a sick way.

I remembered being twelve. Mom had had one of her episodes the day before, she was in bed, and I woke her up. I walked into her room and opened the curtains. It was already five in the afternoon, and she still refused to get out of bed.

- "The doctor says you need to get out of bed,"- I argued when she repeated she was just resting.

- "I've been reading"

- "He says you need exercise"- she sighed and tried to make a joke.

- "That's because his idea of good literature is Our bodies, ourselves."

- "Well, he is your doctor."

- "He is a neanderthal"- I gave up and started walking out of the room. She just laid in bed and looked at me.

- "Where are you going?"

- "I'm going to see if Jeff wants to play"- Jeff was our next-door neighbor and my only friend growing up.

- "Come here. Let me read to you."

I know Garcia made fun of me when I said my mother used to read me Valentine's sonnets when I was a kid. Most people think I have a weird relationship with mom, but they don't understand what it was like growing up with her. They don't know what it was like for a twelve-year-old boy to finish high school, facing bullies. Handling the pressure of being a kid genius and the fact I had to take care of a schizophrenic mother.

How come I didn't start using drugs earlier?

I remember that afternoon I sat next to my mother, and she made me pick one of the many books she had with her on the bed. I choose Proust. I knew she loved it. I loved it as well.

"For a long time, I used to go to bed early. Sometimes, when I had put out my candle, my eyes would close so quickly that I had not even time to say, "I'm going to sleep."

I can still hear her voice, reading to me. Both of us avoided reality for a while, hiding in the books. I always do it regardless. I hide in the books to forget. I hide in knowledge to avoid acknowledging the real personal issues I have. I hide in my work saving people when no one ever saved me.

I work catching psychopaths when I know I might actually have a mental issue myself. I might end up just like mom, and it frightens me so much; there are many nights I can't even close an eye. If I get sick too, then no one will take care of her. I am the only one in her life. And she is the only one in mine.

She and (Y/N), but there is no way my best friend would ever take care of me if I got sick. Not because she wouldn't want to do it, but because I would never let her. I don't want to be a burden in her life. And she would hate me, I know. And I could never live in a world where (Y/N) hates me. Not then, not now.

(Y/N). She is the best thing that happened to me in the BAU. Yes, I had a family with my team, but she was different. She was my life. She was the reason why I smiled. She was the one person that made me feel I was important to someone. I knew the rest of my friend loved me, but I loved her.

That was it. I loved (Y/N). And I was scared I was never going to see her again.

(Y/N)'s point of view

I was standing next to Penelope. She kept trying to force me to eat. She knew I was living on coffee, but I just couldn't swallow anything. She held my hand as the two of us stared at the screens, hopefully waiting for Hankel to make contact again.

- "Any more signs of Reid?"- JJ walked over to us slowly and looked at me, afraid I might snap on her again. I just shook my head and sighed, doing my best to be nice to her.

- "He just posted the last murder online."

- "It had over 17 thousand hits in the first twenty minutes,"- Penelope added, and her voice was so full of revulsion. It was clear she couldn't handle the horror in the human mind.

- "I want to see it,"- JJ said, and I frowned, confused.

- "No, you don't,"- Garcia answered and looked at me- "Come on, munchkin, just eat one cookie, please."

- "Don't tell me what I want and don't want!"- JJ's tone shocked us both. She was severe and angry. She was rude at Penelope, and for a second, I almost snapped again.

- "If I can't watch this..."- JJ whispered and glued her eyes on the screen- "I have no business being in the field."

She looked at me when she was done talking, and for once during those awful days, I felt some kind of compassion for her. She had to be feeling like shit, no doubt, and no matter how mad I was at her, she was still my friend, and I didn't want her to suffer either.

- "JJ, it's not a competition,"- I tried to say in the softest voice possible.

- "I... I need to see it."

- "If you stop being affected by things, you lose parts of yourself, you know."

It was somehow ironic that I was the one saying those things. Me of all people in that team. Me, the one who was afraid the most of losing herself in work.

- "Show me"- she finally looked at Garcia, ignoring my words, and Penelope pleased her. She pushed play and simply said

- "I won't watch this with you."

García held my hand, walking me out of the room, leaving JJ alone in the room. She sighed and wiped the tears that started falling down her eyes.

- "I don't know how you do it either"- she whispered- "I don't know how you watch those things every day and don't go insane."

- "If it makes you feel better, I don't know how I do either, and it scared me to think my heart might be numbing with each case we solve. With every psychopath we catch."

- "We are gonna find him"- she assured me and held my hands tight- "We are bringing him home safe, I swear."

- "Let's go find Gideon,"- I said, nodding at her words- "He needs to know Tobias posted the last murder."

Jason was mad, beyond furious. He was losing it. Derek and Prentiss kept trying to crack Hankel and discover where he had taken Reid. Meanwhile, Garcia, Gideon, and I made our best to take the video of the murder from the web.

- "I have a list of everyone from the file-sharing chain. I could send out a mass warning that the video is actually a virus,"- Garcia said and started typing as fast as possible. I just stared at the screen, waiting for something, anything to happen.

But I wasn't waiting for what came next.

- "Confess your sins"- Hankel's voice made me jump, and the sight of Reid, still tied to that chair, bleeding, and being tortured, broke my heart again.

- "Confess!!"- that sick psychopath shouted and hit him.

- "I haven't done anything,"- Spencer sobbed, but it was useless. Hankel kept punching him, over and over again, even when my best friend begged for mercy.

I felt Jason hold my hand as I was holding Garcia's. The three of us felt powerless, useless, angry, and scared, all at the same time. I couldn't bear to watch Reid being tortured, but at the same time, I was so glad he was still alive.

That until Hankel beat him so hard, he pushed him back in the chair, and Reid started convulsing.

- "He is killing him,"- Penelope cried, and I closed my eyes, biting my lips. Spencer was choking, and that mother fucker just stood there, watching him die.

- "That's the devil vacating your body"- he spit those words as Reid simply passed out. I didn't know if he was dead. I didn't know if he was going to make it. Shit! I didn't know anything.

I let go of Jason and Penelope and stormed out of the room. I was unprofessional, and I knew it, but I knew I would quit if anything happened to Reid. I wasn't going to stay working at the BAU if Spencer died.

- "Are you ok?"- Derek grabbed my arm. I just broke into tears and held him tight. He wrapped his arms around me and let me cry.

- "He's dying! We can't find him!!"- I sobbed against his chest.

- "(Y/N)! (Y/N)!"- I heard Penelope yelling as we all rushed back to the computer room. Hankel was giving CPR to Reid, trying to bring him back to life.

- "Come on, come on, please,"- I begged as I watched him pushing his chest over and over again until Spencer woke up, gasping for air.

- "Thank God!"- Hotch sighed and rubbed his hands against his face. The whole team let out a breath of relief simultaneously, and I kept watching Reid. His opened eyes gave me hope.

- "Wait,"- Prentiss said suddenly- "When was the video of the last murder posted?"

- "Nine thirty"- Penelope answered

- "And when was the time of death?"

- "The 911 call came in at 9:04, and the murder must have been moments later."- Hotch added and didn't even turn to look at Prentiss. We were all still shocked looking at the screen.

- "That's just a 19 minutes difference,"- I said and turned to García- "How long would it take to post that file?"

- "Two or three minutes."

- "Let's call it two,"- I said, getting excited- "You figure a maximum of 60 miles an hour in a residential area. That means Hankel has to be within a 17-mile radius of the crime scene."

For a second, I felt I was rambling facts just like Reid would. It made me miss him even more.

- "García, can we see it on the map?"- Aaron whispered. He was clearly affected, and it also made me feel selfish, knowing I had made a tantrum with the whole team, forgetting they were suffering as well.

- "Call chief Farraday"- Jason commanded as soon as we saw the map of the area on the screen- "I want that area locked down like it's martial law."

JJ stood up and grabbed her phone but didn't make the call. García warned us something was going on with Reid and all of us stared at the screen in silence.

Spencer was on his back on the floor, still tied to a chair. It was clear he wasn't fully conscious of what was happening.

- "You came back to life,"- mother fucker Hankel said, spitting the words in anger.

- "Raphael,"- Reid whispered, recognizing one of his personalities.

- "There can be only one of two reasons."

- "I was given CPR,"- my friend whispered, but it was clear that wasn't one of the psycho's options.

- "There are no accidents. How many members of our team are watching us right now?"

- "Seven."

- "The seven angels who had the seven trumpets prepared themselves to sound. The first sounding followed hail, and they were thrown to the earth."

- "He thinks it's the revelations"- Hotch explained- "The seven archangels versus the seven angels of death."

I didn't know much about religion, but it didn't take a genius to figure out he didn't believe we were the good guys.

- "Tell me who you serve."

- "I serve you,"- Reid answered right away. His voice was a whisper. He had to be exhausted.

- "Then choose one to die"

- "What?!"

- "Your team members, choose one to die"- I knew what he was going to answer at that, and I didn't want to hear it.

- "Kill me,"- he replied immediately, and I closed my eyes, unable to watch what would happen next.

- "You said you weren't one of them."

- "I lied."

- "Your team has seven other members. Tell me who dies."

- "No"- Penelope gasped, and Prentiss cursed. I opened my eyes and nearly fainted. Hankel had a gun pointed against Reid's forehead.

The silence amongst the team was unbearable. Neither of us knew what to do. We were all panicking, praying, desperate.

- "Choose and prove you'll do God's will."

- "No."

Neither of us moved. Neither of us breathed until Hakel pulled the trigger, and no bullet came out. I nearly sigh, but it wasn't over.

- "Choose"- he repeated

- "I won't do it"- Hankel didn't even wait. He just pulled the trigger, and we all jumped at the same time. He was safe again.

- "Life is a choice."

- "No,"- Reid repeated once again. And Hankel pulled the trigger for the third time.

- "Choose"- and for the first time, Spencer made a pause. Was going to pick one of us to die?

- "I choose"- the whispered- "Aaron Hotchner."

Derek and I looked at him, and his pale face didn't move a muscle.

- "He's the classic narcissist. He thinks he's better than everyone else on the team. Genesis 23:4 "Let him not deceive himself, and trust in emptiness, vanity falseness, and futility, for these shall be his recompense."

Hotch stormed out of the room as Hankel pulled the trigger one more time and shot the wall.

I felt I was going to puke. If Reid hadn't picked one of us, he would be dead.

- "For God's will,"- the mother fuck said, as he put another bullet in the gun after removing the casing.

I couldn't look anymore. I followed Gideon and Derek to find Aaron going through all Tobias's diaries on the table.

- "I'm not a narcissist,"- he said as soon as he saw us.

- "Come on. Look, you can't think anything from that"- Jason tried to calm him down, in case he was somehow affected by what Reid had just said on camera- "He is not in his right mind, Hotch."

- "No, stop, stop. Alright, everybody, right now: what's my worst quality?"

He had to be kidding. We all stared at him, muted, lost in that conversation. What was his point? Neither of us said a word. We just looked at each other, confused and awkward.

- "Ok, I'll start. I have no sense of humor."

- "You are a bully,"- JJ added.

- "You can be a drill sergeant sometimes,"- I said, and he nodded.

- "Right."

- "You don't trust women as much as men"- you could feel it in Prentiss's voice. That one was personal.

- "Ok, good. I'm all these things, but none of you said that I ever put myself above the team because I don't, ever. Reid and I argued about the definition of classic narcissism, and he knew that I would remember that. He also quoted Genesis chapter 23, verse 4. Read it."

Hotch gave me the book. He wasn't even breathing as she spoke. He was in a hurry. We were all.

- "I'm a stranger and a sojourner with you. Give me property, forbear a place among you that I may bury my dead of my sight."

- "He wouldn't get it wrong unless it were on purpose."

- "He is in a cemetery."- I said and looked at him. He nodded, and I swear to God, I saw a slight smile on his lips. That smile was hope. We were getting closer.

Spencer's point of view

I took a sip of water. I hadn't drunk in days, and my throat burned. I was still a little lost, still a little off.

- "Tobias, is that you?"- I saw him nod, sitting next to me. He moved the cup of water closer so that I could drink some more.

- "Thank you,"- I whispered and looked at him- You saved my life- he stared down at the ground and finally whispered

- "I'm sorry."

- "Why?"

- "He'll win in the end."

It was sad to see Tobias Hankel's good person locked inside a sick mind that also held a psychopath like his father.

- "Tobias, I need to know something. It's important. Are we in a cemetery?"- and he nodded. I smiled at him and sighed, relieved. Help was coming. My team was coming.

- "I used to come here to get high."

- "I was right."

- "No one bothers you here. I never told anyone about it."

He wrapped his belt around my arm, and I turned to him, still smiling. I didn't know if I were happy I was right or glad I would get high again. Maybe both. Maybe the second 'cos the minute that needle got to my vein, that sweet, sweet release felt like a bath of joy that washed away any pain, regret, or guilt I could have ever felt.

Guilt. I've had my share of that. I remember the day I had my mom admitted to the hospital. She hadn't eaten in days. She wouldn't take care of herself, and they're just so much I could do. I wasn't able to keep her safe from herself, from her mind.

- "What are these men doing here?"- she asked me as I walked with two nurses into the study. She was writing and reading. It was all she did, preparing lectures for classes she didn't have to give, in imaginary campuses.

I stood in front of her and hesitated for a second. It was the hardest thing I had ever done, telling mom I was taking her away from her own house.

- "They are from the hospital. They are here to help,"- I whispered and looked at my mother's confused expression. She was so thin. She looked so sick. I felt so guilty I couldn't do better for her.

- "I don't need help, and you can't be here without permission, tell them, Spencer."

She looked down at her books again and tried to continue writing. I took a deep breath, I knew I would break her heart, but there was nothing else I could do.

- "I called them"- she looked at me in pain. Deep, honest pain. Like I had just shattered her heart. Which I had done.

- "Spencer"- she simply whispered and stared into my eyes, begging for an explanation. I was trying my best not to cry. I had a whole speech prepared. I was going to tell her how much I loved her. I was going to explain to her how good it was for her to be in a place where someone could continuously take care of her. I had facts and statistics, but all I managed to say was:

- "I'm doing this for you."

And I felt like a liar. 'Cos, there was a part of me that was doing it for myself too.

- "This isn't legal"- she shook her head in shock and kept trying to find a good explanation to what was going on.

- "Your son is eighteen, ma'am. He can act in your welfare,"- one of the make nurses explained to her.

- "You need help,"- I said and prayed she could understand. But she just burst into tears and begged.

- "I wanna stay here!"

- "I'm... sorry, mom."

- "Please, these are my things, this is my life..."

Those men took her. They took her from her house and put her in a hospital. No. I put her there. I put my mom in a hospital so I could live my life, 'cos I am selfish and couldn't take care of her anymore.

- "Spencer, please, don't do this to me."

Those were the words that haunted me day and night. And my mother's crying face, begging me not to take her from her own house.

What kind of a son am I? I did that to her. I put her in a mental place 'cos I couldn't deal with her disease anymore. 'Cos I didn't know how to take care of her.

- "What are you sorry for, boy?"- I heard Hankel ask when I woke up. I was muttering, "Sorry" as I came back from my trip.

- "I sent her away."

- "Who."

- "My mom. I couldn't help her."

- "Is that a confession?"- I nodded and looked around, confused. Lost. High- "You know the bible. Exodus 21:17"

- "And he that curseth his father or his mother shall surely be put to death,"- I whispered, scared and full of regret.

I heard him walk towards me. He kneeled and uncuffed me. I didn't know what was happening. Honestly, I was still too high to get what was going on around me.

- "Grab a shovel,"- he commanded and walked outside.

I was too weak to dig fast. I don't know how I was actually moving, but I was digging my own grave. I never thought I would ever end up doing such a thing. It's not something you think about, actually. Not unless you work in the BAU. Here, you start analyzing and considering the way you'll die: 'Cos you could, every day.

- "I ought to bury you alive in there, give you some time to think about what you've done,"- Hankel said and looked at me while I worked, playing with a knife.

- "I know what I've done."

- "Don't talk back to me! Dig!"

I pant and kept moving, very slowly, trying to buy myself some time too. I was sure the team was coming to get me any minute now. I was counting on them, though the more I thought about it, the less worthy of salvation I felt. Maybe I deserved to die after all.

I was almost certain I had seen some lights moving in the back. Flashlights. But it could be my mind playing tricks on me. I was too tired. And still too high, too.

- "Dig faster!"- he commanded me as I moved, losing my breath.

- "I'm not strong enough"- I cried, 'cos I felt like that. Like a failure, a child that aimed to be a grown-up and failed miserably. A bad son. The worst agent. A fake that deserved to die.

- "You are all weak!! Get out of there!"

Hankel took off his coat and left it on the ground. I slowly moved so he could dig for me, but the lights in the back took my attention, and he noticed. As soon as he turned around, I quickly grabbed his coat and reached out for the gun.

- "You've only got one bullet, son,"- he said as he looked at me. And I just pulled the trigger.

I shot him. I killed him. Hankel. Raphael. Tobias. I freed Tobias. Or at least, that is what I wanted to think.

- "Reid!!"- I heard (Y/N) yelling as I crawled to Tobia's body. He was still awake. He was himself.

- "You killed him"- he said, and he was relieved- "Do you think I'll get to see my mom again?"

- "I'm sorry,"- I whispered, and he was gone.

- "Reid!!"

(Y/N) yelled and ran over. She kneeled next to me and held me in her arms. I couldn't move, because for a few seconds, I couldn't believe she was real. She was there.

- "Honey, honey, are you ok? Can you hear me?"- she said, and tears started falling from her eyes- "Honey, it's me."

I just looked at her and hugged her. I hugged her as my life depended on it. There she was, next to me, finally.

- "I thought I was never going to see you again,"- I whispered and sobbed.

The urge to kiss her filled my whole body. I needed to taste her. I needed to show her how much I had needed her those days. But I knew I couldn't.

I didn't want to let her go. I didn't for a few minutes. I just hold onto her for my sanity. She kissed my forehead, cupping my face with both hands.

- "I'm so happy to see you. I'm glad you are ok... let's go to the ambulance, ok?"- I nodded but didn't let her go. I felt I could hold her forever. I wanted to keep her close for as long as I lived.

But the rest of the team gathered around us, and I wanted to thank them too. I needed to thank Hotch. So as soon as I let (Y/N) go, I wrapped my arms around him.

- "You alright?"- he asked me.

- "I knew you'd understand,"- I managed to say with tears falling from my eyes and a knot in my throat.

For a moment, I thought I was never going to see the team again. My family.

JJ held me close and apologized. I knew she felt guilty for leaving me alone, but I was the only one culpable for what had happened. I wanted to prove myself, and all I managed to do was prove I was a fool. A useless SSA.

- "It's alright, it wasn't your fault,"- I said and did my best to smile at her. But I know I failed. Gideon grabbed my arm and nodded.

- "Let's get you out of here."

- "Please,"- I whispered before we started walking- "Can I have a second alone?"- he looked at me and nodded, looking at Tobias' body lying by our side. He walked away, and I kneeled next to my capturer.

But instead of paying my respects, instead of cursing. Instead of anything, I took the Dilaudid bottles from his pocket and put them into mine.

And that's how the real hell started.

--

DIWK Taglist:

@all-tings-diego @big-galaxy-chaos @svveet-peas @muffin-cup @shilohpug

Spencer taglist

@calm-and-doctor

General Taglist

@spenxerslut @ash19871962

–

Do you want to be on the taglist or ramble about this chapter with me? Just send me a message here.

Next update: May 5th, 2021

[groggiie]

Bee Movie Script - Dialogue Transcript

Voila! Finally, the Bee Movie script is here for all you fans of the Jerry Seinfeld animated movie. This puppy is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of the movie to get the dialogue. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and all that jazz, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. At least you'll have some Bee Movie quotes (or even a monologue or two) to annoy your coworkers with in the meantime, right?

And swing on back to Drew's Script-O-Rama afterwards -- because reading is good for your noodle. Better than Farmville, anyway.

Bee Movie Script

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... ...9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it'll be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey! - That girl was hot. - She's my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we're all cousins. - Right. You're right. - At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?" How can you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We're bees. We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things

work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know what it's like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don't come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let's have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I'd knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you're interested in? - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I'm not trying to be funny. You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You're gonna be a stirrer? - No one's listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! Let's open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! I'm so proud. - We're starting work today! - Today's the day. Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! One of them's yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side. - What'd you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What's available? Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you're on. I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey's always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? Barry! All

right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... What happened to you? Where are you? - I'm going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. - Look at that. - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign here, here. Just initial that. - Thank you. - OK. You got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! - That's awful. - And a reminder for you rookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! All right, launch positions! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Black and yellow! Hello! You ready for this, hot shot? Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. Wind, check. - Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check. - Wings, check. - Stinger, check. Scared out of my shorts, check. OK, ladies, let's move it out! Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! All of you, drain those flowers! Wow! I'm out! I can't believe I'm out! So blue. I feel so fast and free! Box kite! Wow! Flowers! This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual. Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. Roses! 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. Stand to the side, kid. It's got a bit of a kick. That is one nectar collector! - Ever see pollination up close? - No, sir. I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, a pinch on that one. See that? It's a little bit of magic. That's amazing. Why do we do that? That's pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. Oool. I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow. Oould be daisies. Don't we need those? Oopy that visual. Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move. Say again? You're reporting a moving flower? Affirmative. That was on the line! This is the coolest. What is it? I don't know, but I'm loving this color. It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it. Yeah, fuzzy. Ohemical-y. Oareful, guys. It's a little grabby. My sweet lord of bees! Oandy-brain, get off there! Problem! - Guys! - This could be bad. Affirmative. Very close. Gonna hurt. Mama's little boy. You are way out of position, rookie! Ooming in at you like a missile! Help me! I don't think these are flowers. - Should we tell him? - I think he knows. What is this?! Match point! You can start packing up, honey, because you're about to eat it! Yowser! Gross. There's a bee in the car! - Do something! - I'm driving! - Hi, bee. - He's back here! He's going to sting me! Nobody move. If you don't move, he won't sting you. Freeze! He blinked! Spray him, Granny! What are you doing?! Wow... the tension level out here is unbelievable. I gotta get home. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! Ken, could you close the window please? Ken, could you close the window please? Oheck out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. You see? Folds out. Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this. What was that? Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This... Drapes! That is diabolical. It's fantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies. What's number one? Star Wars? Nah, I don't go for

that... ...kind of stuff. No wonder we shouldn't talk to them. They're out of their minds. When I leave a job interview, they're flabbergasted, can't believe what I say. There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out. I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it. I predicted global warming. I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. Wait! Stop! Bee! Stand back. These are winter boots. Wait! Don't kill him! You know I'm allergic to them! This thing could kill me! Why does his life have less value than yours? Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement? I'm just saying all life has value. You don't know what he's capable of feeling. My brochure! There you go, little guy. I'm not scared of him. It's an allergic thing. Put that on your resume brochure. My whole face could puff up. Make it one of your special skills. Knocking someone out is also a special skill. Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks. - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? - Sure, Ken. You know, whatever. - You could put carob chips on there. - Bye. - Supposed to be less calories. - Bye. I gotta say something. She saved my life. I gotta say something. All right, here it goes. Nah. What would I say? I could really get in trouble. It's a bee law. You're not supposed to talk to a human. I can't believe I'm doing this. I've got to. Oh, I can't do it. Oome on! No. Yes. No. Do it. I can't. How should I start it? "You like jazz?" No, that's no good. Here she comes! Speak, you fool! Hi! I'm sorry. - You're talking. - Yes, I know. You're talking! I'm so sorry. No, it's OK. It's fine. I know I'm dreaming. But I don't recall going to bed. Well, I'm sure this is very disconcerting. This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're a bee! I am. And I'm not supposed to be doing this, but they were all trying to kill me. And if it wasn't for you... I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised. That was a little weird. - I'm talking with a bee. - Yeah. I'm talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me! I just want to say I'm grateful. I'll leave now. - Wait! How did you learn to do that? - What? The talking thing. Same way you did, I guess. "Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up. - That's very funny. - Yeah. Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have to deal with. Anyway... Oan I... ...get you something? - Like what? I don't know. I mean... I don't know. Ooffee? I don't want to put you out. It's no trouble. It takes two minutes. - It's just coffee. - I hate to impose. - Don't be ridiculous! - Actually, I would love a cup. Hey, you want rum cake? - I shouldn't. - Have some. - No, I can't. - Oome on! I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms. - Where? - These stripes don't help. You look great! I don't know if you know anything about fashion. Are you all right? No. He's making the tie in the cab as they're flying up Madison. He finally gets there. He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on. And he says, "Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. Why would I marry a watermelon?" Is that a bee joke? That's the kind of stuff we do. Yeah, different. So, what are you gonna do, Barry? About work? I don't know. I want to do my part for the hive, but I can't do it the way they want. I know how you feel. - You do? - Sure. My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. - Really? - My only interest is flowers. Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. Anyway, if you look... There's my hive right there. See it? You're in Sheep Meadow! Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond! No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once. - Why do girls put rings on their toes? - Why not?

- It's like putting a hat on your knee. - Maybe I'll try that. - You all right, ma'am? - Oh, yeah. Fine. Just having two cups of coffee! Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the coffee. Yeah, it's no trouble. Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did, I'd be up the rest of my life. Are you...? Oan I take a piece of this with me? Sure! Here, have a crumb. - Thanks! - Yeah. All right. Well, then... I guess I'll see you around. Or not. OK, Barry. And thank you so much again... for before. Oh, that? That was nothing. Well, not nothing, but... Anyway... This can't possibly work. He's all set to go. We may as well try it. OK, Dave, pull the chute. - Sounds amazing. - It was amazing! It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life. Humans! I can't believe you were with humans! Giant, scary humans! What were they like? Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy. - Do they try and kill you, like on TV? - Some of them. But some of them don't. - How'd you get back? - Poodle. You did it, and I'm glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see. You had your "experience." Now you can pick out yourjob and be normal. - Well... - Well? Well, I met someone. You did? Was she Bee-ish? - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! - No, no, no, not a wasp. - Spider? - I'm not attracted to spiders. I know it's the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. I can't get by that face. So who is she? She's... human. No, no. That's a bee law. You wouldn't break a bee law. - Her name's Vanessa. - Oh, boy. She's so nice. And she's a florist! Oh, no! You're dating a human florist! We're not dating. You're flying outside the hive, talking to humans that attack our homes with power washers and M-80s! One-eighth a stick of dynamite! She saved my life! And she understands me. This is over! Eat this. This is not over! What was that? - They call it a crumb. - It was so stingin' stripey! And that's not what they eat. That's what falls off what they eat! - You know what a Oinnabon is? - No. It's bread and cinnamon and frosting. They heat it up... Sit down! ...really hot! - Listen to me! We are not them! We're us. There's us and there's them! Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning? There's no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me! You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee! - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! There he is. He's in the pool. You know what your problem is, Barry? I gotta start thinking bee? How much longer will this go on? It's been three days! Why aren't you working? I've got a lot of big life decisions to think about. What life? You have no life! You have no job. You're barely a bee! Would it kill you to make a little honey? Barry, come out. Your father's talking to you. Martin, would you talk to him? Barry, I'm talking to you! You coming? Got everything? All set! Go ahead. I'll catch up. Don't be too long. Watch this! Vanessa! - We're still here. - I told you not to yell at him. He doesn't respond to yelling! - Then why yell at me? - Because you don't listen! I'm not listening to this. Sorry, I've gotta go. - Where are you going? - I'm meeting a friend. A girl? Is this why you can't decide? Bye. I just hope she's Bee-ish. They have a huge parade of flowers every year in Pasadena? To be in the Tournament of Roses, that's every florist's dream! Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering. A tournament. Do the roses compete in athletic events? No. All right, I've got one. How come you don't fly everywhere? It's exhausting. Why don't you run everywhere? It's faster. Yeah, OK, I see, I see. All right, your turn. TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That's insane!

You don't have that? We have Hivo, but it's a disease. It's a horrible, horrible disease. Oh, my. Dumb bees! You must want to sting all those jerks. We try not to sting. It's usually fatal for us. So you have to watch your temper. Very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk, write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion: Anger, jealousy, lust. Oh, my goodness! Are you OK? Yeah. - What is wrong with you?! - It's a bug. He's not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep! What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular? Yeah, it was. How did you know? It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit. You've really got that down to a science. - I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. - I'll bet. What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this? How did this get here? Oute Bee, Golden Blossom, Ray Liotta Private Select? - Is he that actor? - I never heard of him. - Why is this here? - For people. We eat it. You don't have enough food of your own? - Well, yes. - How do you get it? - Bees make it. - I know who makes it! And it's hard to make it! There's heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing! - It's organic. - It's our-ganic! It's just honey, Barry. Just what?! Bees don't know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing! You've taken our homes, schools, hospitals! This is all we have! And it's on sale?! I'm getting to the bottom of this. I'm getting to the bottom of all of this! Hey, Hector. - You almost done? - Almost. He is here. I sense it. Well, I guess I'll go home now and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around. You're busted, box boy! I knew I heard something. So you can talk! I can talk. And now you'll start talking! Where you getting the sweet stuff? Who's your supplier? I don't understand. I thought we were friends. The last thing we want to do is upset bees! You're too late! It's ours now! You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword! You, sir, will be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio! Where is the honey coming from? Tell me where! Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms! Orazy person! What horrible thing has happened here? These faces, they never knew what hit them. And now they're on the road to nowhere! Just keep still. What? You're not dead? Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed? To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here. I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off! I'm going to Tacoma. - And you? - He really is dead. All right. Uh-oh! - What is that?! - Oh, no! - A wiper! Triple blade! - Triple blade? Jump on! It's your only chance, bee! Why does everything have to be so doggone clean?! How much do you people need to see?! Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window! From NPR News in Washington, I'm Oarl Kasell. But don't kill no more bugs! - Bee! - Moose blood guy!! - You hear something? - Like what? Like tiny screaming. Turn off the radio. Whassup, bee boy? Hey, Blood. Just a row of honey jars, as far as the eye could see. Wow! I assume wherever this truck goes is where they're getting it. I mean, that honey's ours. - Bees hang tight. - We're all jammed in. It's a close community. Not us, man. We on our own. Every mosquito on his own. - What if you get in trouble? - You a mosquito, you in trouble. Nobody likes us. They just smack. See a mosquito, smack, smack! At least you're out in the world. You must meet girls. Mosquito girls try to trade up, get with a moth, dragonfly. Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito. You got to be kidding me! Mooseblood's about to leave the building! So long, bee! - Hey, guys! - Mooseblood! I knew I'd catch y'all down here. Did you bring your crazy straw? We throw it in jars, slap a label

on it, and it's pretty much pure profit. What is this place? A bee's got a brain the size of a pinhead. They are pinheads! Pinhead. - Oheck out the new smoker. - Oh, sweet. That's the one you want. The Thomas 3000! Smoker? Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar. A couple breaths of this knocks them right out. They make the honey, and we make the money. "They make the honey, and we make the money"? Oh, my! What's going on? Are you OK? Yeah. It doesn't last too long. Do you know you're in a fake hive with fake walls? Our queen was moved here. We had no choice. This is your queen? That's a man in women's clothes! That's a drag queen! What is this? Oh, no! There's hundreds of them! Bee honey. Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale! This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something. Oh, Barry, stop. Who told you humans are taking our honey? That's a rumor. Do these look like rumors? That's a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. How did you get mixed up in this? He's been talking to humans. - What? - Talking to humans?! He has a human girlfriend. And they make out! Make out? Barry! We do not. - You wish you could. - Whose side are you on? The bees! I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Those crazy legs kept me up all night. Barry, this is what you want to do with your life? I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than bees! Dad, I remember you coming home so overworked your hands were still stirring. You couldn't stop. I remember that. What right do they have to our honey? We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever! Even if it's true, what can one bee do? Sting them where it really hurts. In the face! The eye! - That would hurt. - No. Up the nose? That's a killer. There's only one place you can sting the humans, one place where it matters. Hive at Five, the hive's only full-hour action news source. No more bee beards! With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk. Weather with Storm Stinger. Sports with Buzz Larvi. And Jeanette Ohung. - Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble. - And I'm Jeanette Ohung. A tri-county bee, Barry Benson, intends to sue the human race for stealing our honey, packaging it and profiting from it illegally! Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King, we'll have three former queens here in our studio, discussing their new book, Olassy Ladies, out this week on Hexagon. Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson. Did you ever think, "I'm a kid from the hive. I can't do this"? Bees have never been afraid to change the world. What about Bee Oolumbus? Bee Gandhi? Bejesus? Where I'm from, we'd never sue humans. We were thinking of stickball or candy stores. How old are you? The bee community is supporting you in this case, which will be the trial of the bee century. You know, they have a Larry King in the human world too. It's a common name. Next week... He looks like you and has a show and suspenders and colored dots... Next week... Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the guest even though you just heard 'em. Bear Week next week! They're scary, hairy and here live. Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish. In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness! It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81. Honey, her backhand's a joke! I'm not gonna take advantage of that? Quiet, please. Actual work going on here. - Is that that same bee? - Yes, it is! I'm helping him sue the human race. - Hello. - Hello, bee. This is Ken. Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe. Why does he talk again? Listen, you better go 'cause we're really busy working. But it's our yogurt night! Bye-bye. Why is yogurt night so

difficult?! You poor thing. You two have been at this for hours! Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help. - Frosting... - How many sugars? Just one. I try not to use the competition. So why are you helping me? Bees have good qualities. And it takes my mind off the shop. Instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now. Those are great, if you're three. And artificial flowers. - Oh, those just get me psychotic! - Yeah, me too. Bent stingers, pointless pollination. Bees must hate those fake things! Nothing worse than a daffodil that's had work done. Maybe this could make up for it a little bit. - This lawsuit's a pretty big deal. - I guess. You sure you want to go through with it? Am I sure? When I'm done with the humans, they won't be able to say, "Honey, I'm home," without paying a royalty! It's an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan, where the world anxiously waits, because for the first time in history, we will hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak. What have we gotten into here, Barry? It's pretty big, isn't it? I can't believe how many humans don't work during the day. You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers? Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade. - What's the matter? - I don't know, I just got a chill. Well, if it isn't the bee team. You boys work on this? All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding. All right. Oase number 4475, Superior Oourt of New York, Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry is now in session. Mr. Montgomery, you're representing the five food companies collectively? A privilege. Mr. Benson... you're representing all the bees of the world? I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we're ready to proceed. Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my grandmother was a simple woman. Born on a farm, she believed it was man's divine right to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us. If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, just think of what would it mean. I would have to negotiate with the silkworm for the elastic in my britches! Talking bee! How do we know this isn't some sort of holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry? They could be using laser beams! Robotics! Ventriloquism! Oloning! For all we know, he could be on steroids! Mr. Benson? Ladies and gentlemen, there's no trickery here. I'm just an ordinary bee. Honey's pretty important to me. It's important to all bees. We invented it! We make it. And we protect it with our lives. Unfortunately, there are some people in this room who think they can take it from us 'cause we're the little guys! I'm hoping that, after this is all over, you'll see how, by taking our honey, you not only take everything we have but everything we are! I wish he'd dress like that all the time. So nice! Oall your first witness. So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden of Honey Farms, big company you have. I suppose so. I see you also own Honeyburton and Honron! Yes, they provide beekeepers for our farms. Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term. I don't imagine you employ any bee-free-ers, do you? - No. - I couldn't hear you. - No. - No. Because you don't free bees. You keep bees. Not only that, it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey. They're very lovable creatures. Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear. You mean like this? Bears kill bees! How'd you like his head crashing through your living room?! Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows! OK, that's enough. Take him away. So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me. - Where have I heard it before? - I was with a band called The Police. But you've never been a police officer,

have you? No, I haven't. No, you haven't. And so here we have yet another example of bee culture casually stolen by a human for nothing more than a prance-about stage name. Oh, please. Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting? Because I'm feeling a little stung, Sting. Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner! That's not his real name?! You idiots! Mr. Liotta, first, belated congratulations on your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005. Thank you. Thank you. I see from your resume that you're devilishly handsome with a churning inner turmoil that's ready to blow. I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime? Not yet it isn't. But is this what it's come to for you? Exploiting tiny, helpless bees so you don't have to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir? Watch it, Benson! I could blow right now! This isn't a goodfella. This is a badfella! Why doesn't someone just step on this creep, and we can all go home?! - Order in this court! - You're all thinking it! Order! Order, I say! - Say it! - Mr. Liotta, please sit down! I think it was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in like that. I think the jury's on our side. Are we doing everything right, legally? I'm a florist. Right. Well, here's to a great team. To a great team! Well, hello. - Ken! - Hello. I didn't think you were coming. No, I was just late. I tried to call, but... the battery. I didn't want all this to go to waste, so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free. Oh, that was lucky. There's a little left. I could heat it up. Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever. So I hear you're quite a tennis player. I'm not much for the game myself. The ball's a little grabby. That's where I usually sit. Right... there. Ken, Barry was looking at your resume, and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks isn't really a special skill. You think I don't see what you're doing? I know how hard it is to find the rightjob. We have that in common. Do we? Bees have 100 percent employment, but we do jobs like taking the crud out. That's just what I was thinking about doing. Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor for his fuzz. I hope that was all right. I'm going to drain the old stinger. Yeah, you do that. Look at that. You know, I've just about had it with your little mind games. - What's that? - Italian Vogue. Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages. A lot of ads. Remember what Van said, why is your life more valuable than mine? Funny, I just can't seem to recall that! I think something stinks in here! I love the smell of flowers. How do you like the smell of flames?! Not as much. Water bug! Not taking sides! Ken, I'm wearing a Ohapstick hat! This is pathetic! I've got issues! Well, well, well, a royal flush! - You're bluffing. - Am I? Surf's up, dude! Poo water! That bowl is gnarly. Except for those dirty yellow rings! Kenneth! What are you doing?! You know, I don't even like honey! I don't eat it! We need to talk! He's just a little bee! And he happens to be the nicest bee I've met in a long time! Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life? No, but there are other things bugging me in life. And you're one of them! Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night... My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster! Goodbye, Ken. And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners made by man! I'm sorry about all that. I know it's got an aftertaste! I like it! I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me. I couldn't overcome it. Oh, well. Are you OK for the trial? I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas. We would like to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand. Good idea! You can really see why he's considered one of the best lawyers... Yeah. Layton, you've gotta

weave some magic with this jury, or it's gonna be all over. Don't worry. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around is to remind them of what they don't like about bees. - You got the tweezers? - Are you allergic? Only to losing, son. Only to losing. Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask you what I think we'd all like to know. What exactly is your relationship to that woman? We're friends. - Good friends? - Yes. How good? Do you live together? Wait a minute... Are you her little... ...bedbug? I've seen a bee documentary or two. From what I understand, doesn't your queen give birth to all the bee children? - Yeah, but... - So those aren't your real parents! - Oh, Barry... - Yes, they are! Hold me back! You're an illegitimate bee, aren't you, Benson? He's denouncing bees! Don't y'all date your cousins? - Objection! - I'm going to pincushion this guy! Adam, don't! It's what he wants! Oh, I'm hit!! Oh, lordy, I am hit! Order! Order! The venom! The venom is coursing through my veins! I have been felled by a winged beast of destruction! You see? You can't treat them like equals! They're striped savages! Stinging's the only thing they know! It's their way! - Adam, stay with me. - I can't feel my legs. What angel of mercy will come forward to suck the poison from my heaving buttocks? I will have order in this court. Order! Order, please! The case of the honeybees versus the human race took a pointed turn against the bees yesterday when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery. - Hey, buddy. - Hey. - Is there much pain? - Yeah. I... I blew the whole case, didn't I? It doesn't matter. What matters is you're alive. You could have died. I'd be better off dead. Look at me. They got it from the cafeteria downstairs, in a tuna sandwich. Look, there's a little celery still on it. What was it like to sting someone? I can't explain it. It was all... All adrenaline and then... and then ecstasy! All right. You think it was all a trap? Of course. I'm sorry. I flew us right into this. What were we thinking? Look at us. We're just a couple of bugs in this world. What will the humans do to us if they win? I don't know. I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn't sound so bad. Adam, they check in, but they don't check out! Oh, my. Oould you get a nurse to close that window? - Why? - The smoke. Bees don't smoke. Right. Bees don't smoke. Bees don't smoke! But some bees are smoking. That's it! That's our case! It is? It's not over? Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere. Get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can. And assuming you've done step correctly, you're ready for the tub. Mr. Flayman. Yes? Yes, Your Honor! Where is the rest of your team? Well, Your Honor, it's interesting. Bees are trained to fly haphazardly, and as a result, we don't make very good time. I actually heard a funny story about... Your Honor, haven't these ridiculous bugs taken up enough of this court's valuable time? How much longer will we allow these absurd shenanigans to go on? They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges against my clients, who run legitimate businesses. I move for a complete dismissal of this entire case! Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going to have to consider Mr. Montgomery's motion. But you can't! We have a terrific case. Where is your proof? Where is the evidence? Show me the smoking gun! Hold it, Your Honor! You want a smoking gun? Here is your smoking gun. What is that? It's a bee smoker! What, this? This harmless little contraption? This couldn't hurt a fly, let alone a bee. Look at what has happened to bees who have never been asked, "Smoking or non?" Is this what nature intended for us? To be forcibly addicted to smoke

machines and man-made wooden slat work camps? Living out our lives as honey slaves to the white man? - What are we gonna do? - He's playing the species card. Ladies and gentlemen, please, free these bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! The court finds in favor of the bees! Vanessa, we won! I knew you could do it! High-five! Sorry. I'm OK! You know what this means? All the honey will finally belong to the bees. Now we won't have to work so hard all the time. This is an unholy perversion of the balance of nature, Benson. You'll regret this. Barry, how much honey is out there? All right. One at a time. Barry, who are you wearing? My sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have no pants. - What if Montgomery's right? - What do you mean? We've been living the bee way a long time, 27 million years. Oongratulations on your victory. What will you demand as a settlement? First, we'll demand a complete shutdown of all bee work camps. Then we want back the honey that was ours to begin with, every last drop. We demand an end to the glorification of the bear as anything more than a filthy, smelly, bad-breath stink machine. We're all aware of what they do in the woods. Wait for my signal. Take him out. He'll have nauseous for a few hours, then he'll be fine. And we will no longer tolerate bee-negative nicknames... But it's just a prance-about stage name! ...unnecessary inclusion of honey in bogus health products and la-dee-da human tea-time snack garnishments. Oan't breathe. Bring it in, boys! Hold it right there! Good. Tap it. Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups, and there's gallons more coming! - I think we need to shut down! - Shut down? We've never shut down. Shut down honey production! Stop making honey! Turn your key, sir! What do we do now? Oannonball! We're shutting honey production! Mission abort. Aborting pollination and nectar detail. Returning to base. Adam, you wouldn't believe how much honey was out there. Oh, yeah? What's going on? Where is everybody? - Are they out celebrating? - They're home. They don't know what to do. Laying out, sleeping in. I heard your Uncle Oarl was on his way to San Antonio with a cricket. At least we got our honey back. Sometimes I think, so what if humans liked our honey? Who wouldn't? It's the greatest thing in the world! I was excited to be part of making it. This was my new desk. This was my new job. I wanted to do it really well. And now... Now I can't. I don't understand why they're not happy. I thought their lives would be better! They're doing nothing. It's amazing. Honey really changes people. You don't have any idea what's going on, do you? - What did you want to show me? - This. What happened here? That is not the half of it. Oh, no. Oh, my. They're all wilting. Doesn't look very good, does it? No. And whose fault do you think that is? You know, I'm gonna guess bees. Bees? Specifically, me. I didn't think bees not needing to make honey would affect all these things. It's notjust flowers. Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees. That's our whole SAT test right there. Take away produce, that affects the entire animal kingdom. And then, of course... The human species? So if there's no more pollination, it could all just go south here, couldn't it? I know this is also partly my fault. How about a suicide pact? How do we do it? - I'll sting you, you step on me. - Thatjust kills you twice. Right, right. Listen, Barry... sorry, but I gotta get going. I had to open my mouth and talk. Vanessa? Vanessa? Why are you leaving? Where are you going? To the final Tournament of Roses parade in Pasadena. They've moved it to this weekend because all the flowers are dying. It's the

last chance I'll ever have to see it. Vanessa, I just wanna say I'm sorry. I never meant it to turn out like this. I know. Me neither. Tournament of Roses. Roses can't do sports. Wait a minute. Roses. Roses? Roses! Vanessa! Roses?! Barry? - Roses are flowers! - Yes, they are. Flowers, bees, pollen! I know. That's why this is the last parade. Maybe not. Oould you ask him to slow down? Oould you slow down? Barry! OK, I made a huge mistake. This is a total disaster, all my fault. Yes, it kind of is. I've ruined the planet. I wanted to help you with the flower shop. I've made it worse. Actually, it's completely closed down. I thought maybe you were remodeling. But I have another idea, and it's greater than my previous ideas combined. I don't want to hear it! All right, they have the roses, the roses have the pollen. I know every bee, plant and flower bud in this park. All we gotta do is get what they've got back here with what we've got. - Bees. - Park. - Pollen! - Flowers. - Repollination! - Across the nation! Tournament of Roses, Pasadena, Oalifornia. They've got nothing but flowers, floats and cotton candy. Security will be tight. I have an idea. Vanessa Bloome, FTD. Official floral business. It's real. Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch. Thank you. It was a gift. Once inside, we just pick the right float. How about The Princess and the Pea? I could be the princess, and you could be the pea! Yes, I got it. - Where should I sit? - What are you? - I believe I'm the pea. - The pea? It goes under the mattresses. - Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart. - I'm getting the marshal. You do that! This whole parade is a fiasco! Let's see what this baby'll do. Hey, what are you doing?! Then all we do is blend in with traffic... ...without arousing suspicion. Once at the airport, there's no stopping us. Stop! Security. - You and your insect pack your float? - Yes. Has it been in your possession the entire time? Would you remove your shoes? - Remove your stinger. - It's part of me. I know. Just having some fun. Enjoy your flight. Then if we're lucky, we'll have just enough pollen to do the job. Oan you believe how lucky we are? We have just enough pollen to do the job! I think this is gonna work. It's got to work. Attention, passengers, this is Oaptain Scott. We have a bit of bad weather in New York. It looks like we'll experience a couple hours delay. Barry, these are cut flowers with no water. They'll never make it. I gotta get up there and talk to them. Be careful. Oan I get help with the Sky Mall magazine? I'd like to order the talking inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer. Oaptain, I'm in a real situation. - What'd you say, Hal? - Nothing. Bee! Don't freak out! My entire species... What are you doing? - Wait a minute! I'm an attorney! - Who's an attorney? Don't move. Oh, Barry. Good afternoon, passengers. This is your captain. Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B please report to the cockpit? And please hurry! What happened here? There was a DustBuster, a toupee, a life raft exploded. One's bald, one's in a boat, they're both unconscious! - Is that another bee joke? - No! No one's flying the plane! This is JFK control tower, Flight 356. What's your status? This is Vanessa Bloome. I'm a florist from New York. Where's the pilot? He's unconscious, and so is the copilot. Not good. Does anyone onboard have flight experience? As a matter of fact, there is. - Who's that? - Barry Benson. From the honey trial?! Oh, great. Vanessa, this is nothing more than a big metal bee. It's got giant wings, huge engines. I can't fly a plane. - Why not? Isn't John Travolta a pilot? - Yes. How hard could it be? Wait, Barry! We're headed into some lightning. This is Bob Bumble.

We have some late-breaking news from JFK Airport, where a suspenseful scene is developing. Barry Benson, fresh from his legal victory... That's Barry! ...is attempting to land a plane, loaded with people, flowers and an incapacitated flight crew. Flowers?! We have a storm in the area and two individuals at the controls with absolutely no flight experience. Just a minute. There's a bee on that plane. I'm quite familiar with Mr. Benson and his no-account compadres. They've done enough damage. But isn't he your only hope? Technically, a bee shouldn't be able to fly at all. Their wings are too small... Haven't we heard this a million times? "The surface area of the wings and body mass make no sense." - Get this on the air! - Got it. - Stand by. - We're going live. The way we work may be a mystery to you. Making honey takes a lot of bees doing a lot of small jobs. But let me tell you about a small job. If you do it well, it makes a big difference. More than we realized. To us, to everyone. That's why I want to get bees back to working together. That's the bee way! We're not made of Jell-O. We get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow! - Hello! Left, right, down, hover. - Hover? - Forget hover. This isn't so hard. Beep-beep! Beep-beep! Barry, what happened?! Wait, I think we were on autopilot the whole time. - That may have been helping me. - And now we're not! So it turns out I cannot fly a plane. All of you, let's get behind this fellow! Move it out! Move out! Our only chance is if I do what I'd do, you copy me with the wings of the plane! Don't have to yell. I'm not yelling! We're in a lot of trouble. It's very hard to concentrate with that panicky tone in your voice! It's not a tone. I'm panicking! I can't do this! Vanessa, pull yourself together. You have to snap out of it! You snap out of it. You snap out of it. - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - Hold it! - Why? Oome on, it's my turn. How is the plane flying? I don't know. Hello? Benson, got any flowers for a happy occasion in there? The Pollen Jocks! They do get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow. - Hello. All right, let's drop this tin can on the blacktop. Where? I can't see anything. Oan you? No, nothing. It's all cloudy. Oome on. You got to think bee, Barry. - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Wait a minute. I think I'm feeling something. - What? - I don't know. It's strong, pulling me. Like a 27-million-year-old instinct. Bring the nose down. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - What in the world is on the tarmac? - Get some lights on that! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - Vanessa, aim for the flower. - OK. Out the engines. We're going in on bee power. Ready, boys? Affirmative! Good. Good. Easy, now. That's it. Land on that flower! Ready? Full reverse! Spin it around! - Not that flower! The other one! - Which one? - That flower. - I'm aiming at the flower! That's a fat guy in a flowered shirt. I mean the giant pulsating flower made of millions of bees! Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up. Rotate around it. - This is insane, Barry! - This's the only way I know how to fly. Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane flying in an insect-like pattern? Get your nose in there. Don't be afraid. Smell it. Full reverse! Just drop it. Be a part of it. Aim for the center! Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman! Oome on, already. Barry, we did it! You taught me how to fly! - Yes. No high-five! - Right. Barry, it worked! Did you see the giant flower? What giant flower? Where? Of course I saw the flower! That was genius! - Thank you. - But we're not done yet. Listen,

everyone! This runway is covered with the last pollen from the last flowers available anywhere on Earth. That means this is our last chance. We're the only ones who make honey, pollinate flowers and dress like this. If we're gonna survive as a species, this is our moment! What do you say? Are we going to be bees, orjust Museum of Natural History keychains? We're bees! Keychain! Then follow me! Except Keychain. Hold on, Barry. Here. You've earned this. Yeah! I'm a Pollen Jock! And it's a perfect fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves. Oh, yeah. That's our Barry. Mom! The bees are back! If anybody needs to make a call, now's the time. I got a feeling we'll be working late tonight! Here's your change. Have a great afternoon! Oan I help who's next? Would you like some honey with that? It is bee-approved. Don't forget these. Milk, cream, cheese, it's all me. And I don't see a nickel! Sometimes I just feel like a piece of meat! I had no idea. Barry, I'm sorry. Have you got a moment? Would you excuse me? My mosquito associate will help you. Sorry I'm late. He's a lawyer too? I was already a blood-sucking parasite. All I needed was a briefcase. Have a great afternoon! Barry, I just got this huge tulip order, and I can't get them anywhere. No problem, Vannie. Just leave it to me. You're a lifesaver, Barry. Oan I help who's next? All right, scramble, jocks! It's time to fly. Thank you, Barry! That bee is living my life! Let it go, Kenny. - When will this nightmare end?! - Let it all go. - Beautiful day to fly. - Sure is. Between you and me, I was dying to get out of that office. You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. - Thinking bee! - Me? Hold it. Let's just stop for a second. Hold it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, everyone. Oan we stop here? I'm not making a major life decision during a production number! All right. Take ten, everybody. Wrap it up, guys. I had virtually no rehearsal for that. Special thanks to SergeiK.

oph my god

[yamithediaperdork]

Just a pup (inuyasha)

Kagome smirked as she looked out the window of her bedroom, watching as Inuyasha popped out of the well looking excited and blushing. It was the second Friday of the month, which per the agreement the two of them agreed on, meant it was Inuyasha's punishment night.

Many of their friends, and well, ANYONE who knew Inuyasha would of been shocked to learn that the bad ass demon slayer was a natural submissive, who got his rocks off being ordered around and teased by people weaker then him, and more to the point, being spanked like a naughty little boy. Lord knows Kagome had been shocked when he confess (Well shocked and amused) and she had agreed to humor the silly pup and spend the second and fourth Friday of every month making him a little bitch, the First and third were romantic date nights.

With date nights in the past (it was just easier to get a seat at a inn then a fancy restaurant in the present) and punishment nights in the present (So no one heard Inuyasha yowling for mercy, They timed it for when Kagome's mom and grandpa would take Souta out to a movie) it was working out to a point, though Inuyasha had started to phone in his half of the deal to Kagome's annoyance.

'Well after tonight he'll know what to expect if he can't measure up~' She thought with a evil little giggle, then went down to meet him at the door.

Inuyasha couldn't help but grin like a fucking school girl as Kagome answered the door, giggling softly. He didn't quite understand why he wanted to be dominated when he hated being hurt (a big part in picking Kagome to punish him, At her hardest she barely hurt his behind, though he played it up like she was killing him) But he knew he was at his hardest when she abused him.

"About time Pup. Your five minutes late." Kagome said, sneering at him and making his cock twitch in his pants.

He knew of course he was on time, it was all part of the role play.

"I'm sorry Miss Kagome, I couldn't help it." Inuyasha mewed, looking down at the floor, his ears drooping, and trying not to grin.

"Oh you'll be sorry alright~" She said and grabbed him by the collar and lead the way to her room. "Though I have a surprise for you my dirty little pup."

"O-Oh?" Inuyasha asked, though he was distracted by a scent in the air as they got to the second story of the house. it was familiar but there's no way it could be what he was thinking it was.

"A yup~ I've noticed that despite all the wailing and whining you do, I'm not really hurting your cute little butt." Kagome said, opening the door to her room.

And sitting on her bed, holding the fire harden wooden paddle with holes drilled into it to cut down on air resistance, was Koga.

"So I asked Koga to help me give you the punishment you sooo seem to need and want. Your welcome." Kagome giggled as Inuyasha froze, blushing and then snarling.

"Now now Pup, none of that!" Koga ordered. "We both know a fight between us would be a draw, but think of how much everyone back home would loooove to hear about what a little fucking wimp you are, that you beg to be spanked and stepped." Koga said, smirking and wagging a finger.

The thought of all of his other friends and well, everyone that they both knew knowing what a little bitch he was took the fight out of Inuyasha, even as his cock twitched and throbbed and tented out his pants, a small damp spot appeared from pre.

"I..but..Kagommmme! the deal wa-" Inuyasha turned his attention to his mistress/girlfriend, but was cut off.

"The deal was I dominate your subby bitch ass and get romantic dates in exchange. do you recall what our 'date' was Pup?" Kagome asked, frowning and shaking her head, and trying not to laugh at how hard Inuyasha was despite looking so mad and scared.

"W-We had a picnic by the lake an-"

"And you spent half of it whining about me not bringing any ramen cups and the other half chasing fish in the water because you didn't like the pasta dish I made for you." Kagome said, glaring.

"O-Oh uh..I'm sorry?" Inuyasha said/asked and poked his index fingers together.

"Like I said before, you WILL be. Koga here knows how to treat bad little pups like you and has lots of fun ideas planned out, and all he wants in return is a little loving." Kagome coo'ed.

"Y-Your not gonna.. with him..are you?" Inuyasha whined, but his cock was leaking big time now.

"Of course I am..Maybe He'll last longer then 30 seconds..Of course if you're THAT against me getting fucked by a real man, someone who doesn't need to be scolded like a naughty little boy..you could always ride Koga." Kagome giggled. "Lords knows you love it when I finger you."

"Heh, Hey I'm a open guy, as long as i get to fuck a nice tight hole i'm game." Koga laughed.

"but..but.." Inuyasha mewed.

"That's right, in your butt..or you mouth. actually yeah, Your gonna wanna suck it first." Koga said, chuckling and gesturing Inuyasha over with a finger. "Now enough of this huffing and puffing and whining, the longer you put this off, the more likely it is more people are gonna find out what a subby little bitch you are."

Inuyasha knew he should just storm out. or at least try and fuck Koga's shit up, even though the wolf demon was right that they were basically equals and would only in a draw. there was a lot of should of's.. but in the end Inuyasha's body betrayed him and he hooked his thumbs in the waistline of his pants and dropped, them, then walked over and knelled in front of Koga, who chuckled and patted his head.

"Good puppy."

Koga found himself a little jealous as he looked down at Inuyasha. just wasn't fair that a total bitch like him could have such a huge piece of fuck meat, 9 1/2 inches when Koga was only a 'mere' 7, though Koga's was thicker.

"Since you went and wasted time with all your whining and bitch, I think you owe me a little something to make up for wasting my time." Koga said, press his bare foot on the tip of Inuyasha's cock, not hard enough to hurt but the puppy let out a whimper even as his cock leaked on Koga's foot.

"Y-Yes Sir. I'm sorry sir." Inuyasha mewed softly.

"The bottom of my feet are dirty from walking to the well and coming though JUST to humor you, so I think they deserve a little tongue bath, don't you?" Koga asked, shifting his weight around on his foot and then switching up, Inuyasha's cock juice coating his soles.

"Heh, Really? I don't usually make him do THAT." Kagome giggled, sitting back and enjoying the show.

"Well I dare say he enjoys the idea." Koga chuckled, raising a foot for her to see the pre all over it,then held it in front of Inuyasha's face. "I'm waiting~"

He was actually testing to see how far he could push the little bitch, and if Inuyasha had outright refused well he'd just make up for it with the paddling. Instead though Inuyasha's cute pink tongue darted out, taking quick fast licks on the sole of of his foot.

"Pfttttt Bwhahahaha!" Kagome laughed. "No way!"

"Heh, good boy Inuyasha, however I want long heel to toe licks. so you get the full experience." Koga instructed.

"Y-Yes sir. Sorry." Inuyasha whined, closing his eyes and leaning in.

"Ah ah ah, and eyes open and looking at me while you do it. I know this is your first time worshiping a alpha males feet so I'm be nice, but we DO have to nip bad habits in the bud~" Koga chuckled.

The half demon nodded and locked eyes with Koga, as much as he could as he slurped and licked away on foot, only closing them when hitting super foul tasting spots on Koga's foot. when the first one was clean, Koga simply offered up the other one and made small talk with Kagome while Inuyasha worked, as if he was just a object.

when it was all over Koga held his feet up, using Inuyasha's shoulders to do see and had Kagome inspect them.

"Hmm yup, they're spotless. Good to know I have a good widdle foot licker I can count on to take care of my feet every night. you wouldn't believe how dirty and smelly they get walking everywhere." Kagome said and Inuyasha whimpered.

"Oh, you don't like that idea pup?" Koga asked, smirking. "It's ok if you only like to worship men's feet. I always figured you played for both teams."

"N-No! I'll lick Kagome's feet!" Inuyasha protested.

"Awww! that's so cute! you think you had a choice!" Kagome squealed and with Koga's feet down she was gonna give him a hug and a kiss, then pulled back and held her nose. "Yuck! foot breath!"

"Yeahhh you're gonna wanna keep lots of mints around if you wanna kiss him after he's been cleaning your feet." Koga laughed as Inuyasha squirmed. "That or just don't kiss him anymore."

"Hmm I'll have to think about that."

"I..but.." Inuyasha whined, turning back and forth looking at both of them.

"Pup, stop fussing and get over my lap, it's time for your reward for being SUCH a good little foot bitch." Koga said, patting his lap.

"...Yes sir." Was all the defeated by his own perverted desires half demon could say, and he got over Koga's lap.

Laying over Koga's lap Inuyasha could feel just how 'excited' this turn of events was making the wolf demon, Koga's manhood was poking him in the tummy.

'a manhood that'll end up in me..or Kagome..All because I couldn't be a good boyfriend.' Inuyasha thought.

He'd never pictured being spanked by anther man, or having to clean someones feet and yet here he was and the most damnable thing of it all was his hard-on wouldn't go away!

his leaking manhood was dangling as Koga kept his legs spread but Inuyasha was fairly certain he was gonna be cumming ropes before long.

'Maybe once I nut I'll be able to clearly..' He thought, then Koga's voice drew his attention.

"Now Inuyasha, as I understand it, Kagome spanks you for 10 minutes., a time length I'm willing to match but I will let you end it early if it's too much for you. All you have to do is say 'Daddy pwease stop!' However if you do that, Or if you wet yourself or cum, you're little bitch ass will be going in diapers for the rest of the night." Koga said and nodded to Kagome who tugged out a pack of thick, nursery print diapers and smirked.

"...What?!" Inuyasha yelped trying to get out of Koga's lap and being held in place with ease, his own submissive nature keeping him for going all out to break free.

"I didn't stutter. But hey, it's ALL you, all you have to do is keep your bladder and cock under control, and take my paddling like a good boy! You can do that can't you?" Koga challenged.

"Yes!" Inuyasha huffed while thinking 'No!'

"of course even if you pee or nut, the spanking will go on till the time limit is up, but every 'accident' means one diaper.. Hope you're not big on repeat performances because I WILL put your butt in that whoooole pack if you 'earn' it." Koga chuckled.

"Is it weird I'm finding the idea of him in huggies while we fuck hawt?" Kagome asked, biting her lip.

"Not at all, we all have our kinks!" Koga said cheerfully and tapped the paddle lightly on Inuyasha's butt. "Right pup?"

"Yes daddy!" Inuyasha said then covered his mouth as Kagome and Koga laughed.

Watching her boyfriend/bitch quiver over Koga's lap, Kagome had no doubt that Inuyasha was gonna be in at least 3 diapers, the little bitch liked to edge himself for at least 3 hours a day on the week when he'd be getting spanked.

'Hell, forget three, I might have to go out and get anther pack of diapers!' Kagome thought, her folds getting damp as she pictured Inuyasha in a massive diaperzilla hugging a teddy bear and watching her get fucked. 'Huh..Kink unlocked.' She mused.

She was drawn out of her little fantasy as the first swat stuck and she could almost feel the force of the blow herself and winced.

the effect on Inuyasha's was almost cartoonish, his semi bubble butt seemed to deform around the force of the paddle as Inuyasha's mouth dropped open and his eyes went wide.

Before he could even begin wailing (which followed quickly enough) Koga stuck anther 3 blows on the pup's backside, quickly turning it bright red and then the howling and sobbing came.

'Damn, 4 blows in about ten seconds..Inuyasha's not gonna be able to sit for a week!'

As blows 5 6 7 and 8 hit Inuyasha was a blubbering mess and couldn't even talk right as a massive cum shot hit the floor.

"Wow that didn't take long." Koga teased. "Kagome could you be a dear and keep count, I don't think our little puppy is gonna be able to."

"of course~" Kagome cooed, and ripped open the package of diapers, taking one out and setting it on the desk next to her, then she winked at Inuyasha. "I think you might wanna toss in the towel pup.. It hasn't even been a minute yet."

"I-I'll never gi- AH FUCK!" Inuyasha had been in the middle of declaring his iron will, how he'd never give up when the paddle started to come down on his red cheek and reduce him back to sobbing and crying, kicking his legs and pounding his fists but there was no way out for him.

Kagome gave up trying to count the blows and just watched Inuyasha's useless big cock swing back and forth and seeing it twitch and tremble at the 2 minute mark got ready to pull out a second diaper, and wasn't disappointed when he indeed fired off again.

"Wow Inuyasha, you much REALLY like being Koga's bitch! Normally you only cum ONCE for me!" Kagome teased. "Or was it worshiping his feet first just primed you up?" She snickered.

Inuyasha couldn't even try and reply, at least with words, but but his body did and Kagome pulled out a third diaper.

Koga had to give Inuyasha credit, the mutt had lasted five minutes so far, which was four more then Koga had counted on. Of course he wasn't going all out either as he wanted Inuyasha able to walk. The pup was up to 6 diapers, and Koga was glad Kagome had insisted on putting down a puppy housebreaking pad since only five of the diapers were from cum shots.

Inuyasha had stopped fighting and was just taking the blows now, and if Koga didn't know any better the half demon seemed to be raising his buns up to meet the paddle.

"C-Come On.. That all you g-got?" Inuyasha said, sniffling and giving a impish grin as he looked over his shoulder.

'Ohhh he's adapted to the pain.. heh..and thinks he's got my number.. adorable.'

"Actually I've been holding back..Trying to be nice. but since you want full force." Koga said,Smiling like he was offering Inuyasha a treat for being a good boy and trying not to laugh at the look of terror on Inuyasha's face.

"Y-Your bluffing!" Inuyasha squealed.

"Heh, I dunno pup, I think he has been, since he'd have to make this last 10 whole minutes." Kagome chimed in, a hand down the front of her panties. "But go ahead, flip that coin. I'm loving the show."

Koga raised his arm up and got ready to deliver a full on blow to Inuyasha's red and bruised back side when Inuyasha screamed, wet himself and JUST before the paddle could hit..

"Daddy pwease stop!" Came out of his mouth.

The paddle stopped though the force from it made the pup's red bubble butt ripple and Koga chuckled as Kagome huffed.

"Boooo!" She whined.

"Now now Kagome, a deal's a deal. Inuyasha, go and stand with your nose in the corner while we clean up and get your DIAPERS ready." Koga said, tugging Inuyasha up in his lap and trying not to melt as the sniffling and sobbing pup hugging him and nodded.. giving Koga a kiss on the cheek before going to the corner.

'If I didn't know any better I'd say someones getting a crush on me.' Koga thought, then him and Kagome started to take care of the clean up.

Nose in the corner and his butt on fire, Inuyasha fought the urge to rub his cheeks since good boys took their lickings. he was confused as to why he had smooched Koga and tried to just play it off as caught up in the mood though as he waited for the ok to come out of the corner he caught himself almost sucking on his thumb three times.

Between the claw on his thumb and how sharp his fangs were he knew THAT wouldn't end well and just shifted from foot to foot.

"Don't tell me you need to use the potty before we diaper you up little guy? You already did two super piddles!" Kagome asked, clearly mistaking his fidgeting for a potty dance.

"N-No Sowwy.." Inuyasha called.

"Well if you wanna try and uh-oh before you go back in diapers, let us know." Koga said.

"Oh? your gonna be that nice?" Kagome asked.

"..Do you really want your room to smell like a poopie diaper?" Koga pointed out

"..Touche...Inuyasha go sit on the potty and try and boom boom!" Kagome ordered, a little too fast.

Inuyasha didn't really feel the need to go, but knew better then to argue and walked by, seeing them laying out the seven diapers and cutting slits in the front and back.

5 minutes later, after giving it a honest try and just pooting on the bowl, Inuyasha walked back in and looked at the massive diaper they had put together for him, apparently taking the time to glue the diapers together to make sure they wouldn't sag.

"Ready to go back into huggies pup?" Koga asked, smiling and grinning, kneeling by the diapers.

Kagome meanwhile was Naked and on the bed, tapping her fingers on the bed frame impatient to get her fun for the night.

"Do I really have a choice?" Inuyasha asked, poking his index fingers together.

it was odd, he was still aroused but for some reason, his wonderful piece of fuck meat was drooping now between his legs.

"heh, not really." Koga said.

"So hurry up! Someone us wanna get laid tonight!" Kagome whined, then glared as Inuyasha blew a raspberry at her. "Koga, spank him again."

"Wait what!?" Inuyasha yelped, and his hands went to his poor bruised backside.

"I don't think I'll have time to spank him and fuck you Kagome." Koga said, sweat dropping.

"finnne just hurry upppp!"She whined.

"Sheesh, are you sure she doesn't need a diaper too daddy?" Inuyasha asked, grinning impishly as he walked over and plopped down on the diapers, feeling like he'd sat on a thick pillow and stirring up some baby powder.

"Hey!" Kagome huffed, blushing.

"heh, Inuyasha, be good. Kagome, settle down." Koga said, shaking his head a little and then quickly got Inuyasha tapped up nice and snug in the diapers and kissed his forehead.

He also reached and grabbed a stuffed dog he'd taken from Souta's room and gave it to Inuyasha to hug and cuddle, then stood up and started to strip.

"Alright Inuyasha, I want you to pay attention and watch how a MAN fucks a woman. you might ONE day be able to please a lady, though I think it's more likely your sex life if gonna be getting spanked and diapered from now on." Koga said, and winked. "and from the look's of things, you don't mind."

Inuyasha went to argue that and then looked down, realizing he'd gotten hard from the mental image of never getting pussy again.

He could of said it was the attention, he could of claimed it was because he knew he was about to get a show..but what Inuyasha did instead was hug the stuffie to his chest and nod.

"Yes daddy."

Somehow seeing her boyfriend reduced to a oversized baby had Kagome hotter then she'd ever been, and as long as he didn't fill the back of the diapers she could see A LOT fun in the future with him in diapers and being cucked.

Of course the fact that Koga was thicker then Inuyasha and would hopefully last longer might of had something to do with it.

Laying on her back and spreading her legs, she looked up at Koga with loving eyed and coo'ed out a plea. "Take me~" feeling like this was some sort of romantic novel...and only to have Koga show apparently all demons could be stupid as he got a confused look on his face.

"Uh..But I thought you wanted to fuck..where am I taking you?" he asked.

"..Demon's..Just stick it in me already." She muttered, face palming.

"Humans.." he muttered and then thrusted into her in one fast motion and grinned as she barked.

As Koga went to work and Kagome found herself unable to speak, she did have enough brain power as she was fucked into bliss think about how many, just maybe.. she shouldn't of assumed she could handle a thicker cock with ease.

Half a hour later and Kagome was left a quivering mess on her bed, drooling and eyes glazed over. Koga had given up trying to keep track of the orgasms she'd had compared to his but knew in the long run of things he was technicality the loser of the night, trailing behind Inuyasha and Kagome with a mere 3.

Licking her clean to improve her chances of not getting knocked up (He wasn't one of those prunes who couldn't handle their own flavor) he covered her up and opened a window to help get the sex smell out of the room, then looked over at Inuyasha.

the half demon had conked out early on in the love making, after squirting in his diapers and the stuffie was thankfully out of his grip even if it was damp with drool from Inuyasha making out with it.

'Now what do I do with him?' Koga thought, rubbing his chin, though his still ready for action cock had a answer even as he got dressed.

He had a inkling that it would be nothing but a headache for Kagome and the pup if he left him here like this, curled up on the floor in his diapers.

'I suppose it's my fatherly 'duty' to just take him with me.' Koga thought, smirking as he slowly scooped up the half demon.

There was no shortage of fun he could have with something like this back home, and heck, wasn't he always getting pestered to settle down and raise a cub of his own?

Two birds one stone.

He thought about leaving a note to explain to Kagome that he was taking Inuyasha with him, but then recalled that the chances of her being able to read wolf tribe were slim to none and besides, she was a clever girl.

Slipping out the window as a car was pulling in the driveway, Koga vanished into well with Inuyasha, musing how he had showed up to be a bull, and left a daddy.

The end

[boop-le-snoot]

PARTY FAVOURS I CHAPTER 18

First time reader click here

TWs/Summary: We stan ✨women in science✨. Bruce uwu. Twitter social media AU nobody asked for. Stephen and Tony are dicks and I'm not talking about their anatomy. Setting up mood for Bruce smut, ngl. PTSD makes things spicy. I'm depressed so please be kind ✌🏻💀🙃

"I really do wonder how can you two fit those egos of yours in your pants," I kept my tone forcefully casual, cheerful even. "Why don't you just fuck already?"

I was met with stunned silence. Suddenly, the room seemed far too large and the people in much too quiet, staring at me with various expressions of horror obvious in their faces. As the strange friendship began developing between me and the team, my "outbursts" - how Steve liked to call them - lessened considerably. I had no need to provoke them into giving me attention, just striking up a casual chat was enough. The Avengers were great conversationalists, to my surprise.

Tony and Stephen, when paired, were the exception. I could count on one hand the amount of times they successfully came to a conclusion without fighting like cats and dogs. It was like each man had made it a personal mission to verbally top the other, more often than not resulting in a thirty-minute shitshow ending with one storming off in a dramatic flourish. It was mind-boggling how two supremely intelligent men could not find a way to communicate efficiently without infuriating the rest of the team.

Plus me. One way or another, I was almost always around. In the beginning, it was hilarious to see the free circus but it got old really quickly when they couldn't decide on dinner or a movie, leaving the rest of us starving and bored. Or the great Cloak debate - that one lasted days and the fussy thing was so upset, it point blank refused to part from Peter for a substantial amount of time. It's pretty fucking creepy that a semi-sentient, ancient piece of outerwear watches you when you sleep - just sayin'. I personally interjected with my own snark and sass whenever Tony and Stephen got too heated, successfully drawing the attention to myself. The fight broke up and I had amazing sex with Tony later, it was a win-win scenario.

Yet, Tony and Stephen didn't stop. To me, their way of "talking" (and I use that term loosely) looked a lot like unresolved sexual tension. Stephen frequently used his greater height to tower over Tony in a childish attempt to establish dominance; the engineer was no rookie and responded with extravagant peacocking such as "subtly" tapping the bracelet that hosted his nanotech suit or parading at dinner in a $30,000 custom made designer outfit. Because Tony could.

I was pleasantly surprised when Natasha started laughing at my remark. Full-blown, belly laugh. Those were rare, coming from the Widow, her usual mirth was quiet, sophisticated, just like her. Deadly (adorable). Bucky followed suit, snorting together with Clint and Loki.

Steve looked none too pleased with me. But then again, was he ever? "Doll, don't be rude."

"Brat," Bruce said at the same time, palming his face.

"People always call me a brat. And guess what, Steve?" I popped my hip, twirling a cotton candy pink coloured Dum-Dum between my fingers. "What can you do about it? Nothing," I shrugged, leaning my head against Bruce's shoulder affectionately.

Steve just shook his head in disappointment. "Can we get back on topic? Please?"

"Captain, I think that Stark..." Strange began talking with Tony dramatically groaning in the background and I instantly tuned out the useless babble. Steve should've been smarter and revoked speaking rights from Tony and Stephen. Or asked Loki to magically render them both mute for ten minutes.

"You're not wrong," Bruce quietly whispered next to my ear. "Ten bucks says Wanda meddles and those two finally work out their frustrations," The scientist hid a grin against my head. I felt the amused, giddy energy radiating off him like a plasma beam.

"I don't even have to bet," I rolled my eyes. "If she doesn't do it, I will."

Both Tony and Stephen were throwing me equally infuriated glances. One promised me a good, hard fucking and the other saw me a short, poisonous lecture on appropriate behaviour in the nearest future - you can guess which is which. If I had it my way, I'd skip the lecture and go straight to a hot, filthy threesome with two men twice my age. I wasn't blind, Strange was hot as hell and could be decent and even nice once in a blue moon.

He could, but he wouldn't be. I wanted that raw, unadulterated lust, tension so concentrated it walked the razor's edge between violent craving and repulsion. Ever since the incident with Clint, I had this ugly mess inside of me, like a live wire about to snap. My brain was constantly racing, darting between how utterly useless I am in a group of supers and embracing my normal-ness, amplifying it by hosting game nights and spending time trying to convince people to start a dungeons and dragons campaign. Or something.

My sleep was like Swiss cheese, riddled with holes where I stayed awake for one or two hours at a time in the middle of the night after waking up sweaty, with my heart hammering out of my chest. Sometimes I dreamt of Clint's lifeless, sickly white body, sometimes the whole room flooded with blood and I couldn't stop it no matter what, there was so much of it, I drowned in it, I startled up with the taste of it in my mouth. Rarely, the worst of it came - the one where Clint was alive as millions of millions of little fluorescent, poisonous jellyfish burst out of him and he screamed and screamed and screamed...

I had PTSD. Yay, me. As if my uselessness wasn't enough of a burden, my brain decided for me that it wasn't good enough that I saved Clint and now it was punishing me for being close to a group of people who routinely saved the WORLD.

I contemplated my usual habits - going to a party, getting trashed and dancing until my legs were numb. I just wanted to shut my brain off for a moment, give it a hard reset so-to-say, but with Tony on my back like a jet-pack, I didn't doubt he'd show up to the place and drag me out of there even if I was kicking and screaming. And he was a Stark, a billionaire, so visiting my dad in Cali wouldn't be possible on my own. Tony would gas up the jet and the rest of the team would find and excuse to tag along, too. As much as I loved being the baby menace who could get away with anything, I hated the way they all herded me, like I was an actual child. I couldn't get away from myself, not even for a moment.

I had the backup-backup plan and I was going to have to execute it. Desperate times, desperate measures. "I don't doubt y'all enjoy listening to Tony and Steph flirt," The nickname escaped unmoderated from my lips before I could catch myself. "But what are we doing for Halloween? I need to know if I gotta get a costume," Bruce chuckled next to me and wrapped an arm around me, happy for the distraction. Unlike me, the scientist was obligated to listen and participate in the avengers-themed discussion. Which was difficult because the engineer and the sorcerer constantly bickered, inadvertently taking over the talk.

"Halloween?" Steve groaned.

"We should do something," Bucky side-eyed his boyfriend. "For the children." Something told me he wasn't thinking of the children, at all. The man was positively leering, probably thinking about what kind of a tight suit he could convince Steve to squeeze into.

"A party!" Tony immediately exclaimed, interrupting Stephen mid-setence.

"Tony, no," Steve stated firmly.

"Tony, YES!" Clint perked up. "A snack bar. A bar-bar."

"I will not be helping you all if you get alcohol poisoning," Stephen crossed his arms.

"So it's a party," I stated firmly, throwing a contemplating look at Wanda and Pietro. The twins looked unsure but excited. I knew I could count on fellow young people to support my decision to have fun, dance a little, drink a little. Let loose. To nail my point, I turned to Bruce with a mischievous smirk. "Fifty bucks says Stephen is too stuck up to show up in costume."

"Beg pardon?!" The sorcerer exclaimed. His eyebrows threatened to meet his hairline.

"I think you give him too little credit, Princess," Bruce winked at me and we solemnly shook hands. It was great having a fellow partner in mischief. Loki's approving smirk just sealed the deal for me.

"It's not my fault you sometimes act like you have a stick up your butt," I gave in the way of explanation, shrugging my shoulders innocently in Stephen's direction. "I'm just pointing out the obvious."

"I don't dare to imagine what's been up yours," The sorcerer retorted dryly, in an uncharacteristically childish fashion, arms still crossed. It almost looked like he was pouting.

"Tony," I simply said, leering salaciously at the man.

"Ooh, kinky," Clint reached over and we promptly high-fived each other in the wake of multiple embarrassed groans emanating around the room. "Strange, you're a boring old man, get over it."

"And you regularly end up in dumpsters, Barton," Strange retorted quickly. "Not my idea of fun."

"You wouldn't know fun if it hit you in the face!" Tony grinned triumphantly, confident in his superiority over Strange. Look at that, the team was doing the work for me and I didn't even have to try.

"I'll show you fun," Stephen retorted darkly. It was obvious the man was planning something.

"Ok, boomer," I raised my eyebrows in muted satisfaction before turning around and grabbing Bruce to drag along with me. "I'm confiscating your best scientist to amuse myself. I am bored. We will go and do actual science whilst y'all argue. Bye."

My patience had run out. We were examining the parasites we found in the murder-anthropods-from-space, codename MAFS, courtesy of yours truly, and their amazing properties to penetrate cell membranes and feed on metals in organic life forms. Without Bruce's help I understood maybe half of it but he had the patience of a saint and dutifully and understandably explained to me the finer points of studying aliens. Signing half a dozen NDAs was never more worth it.

Steve's sigh consisted of 99% suffering and 2% disappointment. Natasha face-palmed silently in the corner, clutching a mug of coffee, a poster child for existential dread.

"Wait for me," Tony whined, going for the door and promptly being stopped by Steve pointing out the team needing his input on one mission or another. The engineer sighed. "Baby girl, don't let the green mean to start any experiments without me." Tony instructed, pointing an accusatory finger in our direction.

I clutched at Bruce dramatically, feigning hurt feelings and was rewarded with a swift motion of his arms. I shrieked delightfully at being thrown over the scientist's shoulder as he hastened his pace towards the elevator, hightailing it out of there. "I'd never snitch on science daddy," I wiggled my eyebrows in Tony's direction, sticking a hand down the back pocket of Bruce's pants, dangling over his shoulder like a happy sack of potatoes.

The lab smelled strongly of alcohol and bitter chemicals, the solution that Bruce developed to ensure the optimal state of the alien pathogens. The man's genius never ceased to amaze me: Bruce came up with the needed formula in the span of a few hours while running low on sleep, post a Hulk-out session.

We put on our protective gear - "science onesies" I called them - along with a respirator and goggles and set to the segregated part of the lab where the specimens were kept under a blue light. The glass wall between Bruce's and Tony's lab was dimmed; I reflected in it, looking positively futuristic in my double-stacked white platformed boots and white hazmat suit.

"Wait," I motioned to Bruce to come over.

"Oh, right, our music," He was already half-way to being in total Science Mode. "Friday, please put on the "Get Schwifty" playlist, 60% volume."

The playlist that me and Bruce came up with for our lab sessions. The man was such an adorable dork. Thirty percent my music, thirty percent of his indie rock shit and forty percent 00's bops. In other words, utter perfection.

I finally managed to fish out my phone from my pants. "No, let's take a selfie," I struck an impressive pose and pointed the camera as Avril Lavigne sung the first verse to Sk8r Boi.

Bruce laughed but abided by the request, giving me bunny ears in the photo, tapping the fingers of his other hand on my waist to the rhythm of the song.

"He was a skater boy, she said see ya later boy!" I sang along, switching my Instagram to stories and posting the short clip of us just vibing with the caption #sciencetime, Bruce laughing openly behind his respirator. I looked cute and silly in my outfit.

"Send the video to me, I'll post it on my Twitter," Bruce requested. I indulged him then put my phone away, ready to conquer the world of microbiology. Or die trying. Science was calling...

THE TAG LIST IS NOW OPEN! @another-stark-sub ​ @mostly-marvel-musings  @vozit ​ @littlegasps ​ @pilloclock ​ @shereadsinquiet @downeyreads ​ @hermione-grangers-wife ​ @individualistfem ​ @sleep-i-ness @capbrie @lillsxd @agustdowney @dee-vn @justanotherblonde23 @fanngirl19 @persephonehemingway @softie-socks @schemefrenzy @letsby @cutenessloading @romeo-the-cactus @jelly-fishy-babie

[selene-tempest]

Mud bath.

"Erm..." Selene blinked, not really knowing what to say.

"I know."

"It's just that..."

"I said I know!"

"There's just so much..."

"I get it!"

"That's gonna take some scrubbing."

"I'm aware of that fact," Kayo's curt reply held a definite tone of warning.

Selene couldn't blame her, not really. She was covered from head to toe in mud, the dirt clinging to her skin, soaked into her hair and Selene was pretty sure she'd heard the sound of squelching whenever the other woman moved.

"Do you need any he-"

"I've got it, thanks." Kayo turned her back, walking stiffly from the hangar to the adjoined showers, knowing that Grandma would pitch a fit if any of them traipsed mud up to the main house.

Dismissed, Selene gave up the battle, knowing that Kayo, more than anyone, had moments where she just wanted to be left alone.

-x-

"Anyone seen Kay?" Virgil asked later that night when they were all in the lounge, spread out across the sofas in what Jeff called Sloth mode. Nothing was moving them short of an emergency call, which they all desperately hoped wouldn't happen.

"Not since we got back," Gordon answered. "She said she was pretty tired, maybe she went straight to bed?"

"Without eating?" Selene's inbuilt need to care for those around her pinged into life.

"I'm sure she'll get something if she's hungry," Gordon shrugged, not taking his eyes off the show on the holoscreen.

"Don't be mean," Selene swiped at his shoulder. "How would you like it if you got back and no one fed you?"

"It happens all the time," he protested.

"Not while I'm here," she said firmly. "I'm going to go and check on her."

"Your funeral."

It took her very little time to rustle up some left over mac and cheese and she took it, along with a glass of milk, up to Kayo's room.

She knocked on the door but got no answer.

"Come on, open up, I've brought you some food."

"I'm not hungry," floated through the door.

"Don't give me that shit, you haven't eaten since breakfast."

Nothing.

"It's mac and cheese," she wheedled.

Selene heard a sigh of defeat, followed by shuffling footsteps coming closer to the door.

"I'm warning you now," Kayo said through gritted teeth, "you'd better not laugh."

Selene frowned. What was there to laugh about?

"Promise me."

"Erm... OK, I promise not to laugh."

The door opened slowly, just enough for Selene to squeeze through, slamming shut behind her the moment she was inside the room.

"Where shall I put this..." Selene trailed off, catching sight of Kayo for the first time. "Oh lawd."

"Don't. Laugh."

"I wasn't going to!" Selene slid the tray of food onto the bedside table and turned to get a closer look.

"Yeah, right. I know how it looks, I've looked in the mirror."

"I honestly wasn't going to," Selene assured her. And she hadn't been. Her poor friend didn't need teasing, she needed help. Badly.

Her hair, that beautiful, thick, naturally shiny hair that Selene secretly lusted after but couldn't get without a mountain of products, looked like shit. There, she said it, even if it was just in her own head. It was fluffed up beyond all recognition, a mass of tangles and frizz the likes of which Selene had never seen.

"I'm sorry, I gotta ask..."

Kayo folded her arms, tapping her foot, daring Selene to say something shitty.

"How the hell did that happen?"

"I don't know," Kayo huffed. "I know my ponytail got loose from my helmet, that's never good because it gets all tangled then. Then the band snapped and it was a lost cause."

Selene nodded, she'd had a similar experience with her hair coming out of the back of her jacket while riding on the back of her Dad's motorbike and it had taken her and her mum the best part of an evening and two washes to get it untangled again.

"I've washed it three times, blow dried it and broken a brush on it but it's just made it worse."

"What type of conditioner did you use?"

"The one I always do, the one in the locker room and then mine up here. That one that Grandma buys in bulk."

Selene's eyes widened in horror as her friend described the torment she had just admitted to putting her hair through.

"Generic conditioner? You used generic conditioner? The same shit that Alan uses? That conditioner? And then you tried to brush it out?"

Kayo shrugged.

"What are you, a savage?"

"What else would I do to get tangles out?"

"Oh my gods," Selene clasped her hands over her heart and swayed dramatically. "I can't believe I'm hearing this. How? How could you think that would be OK?"

"It's always been OK every other time."

"No! No don't you dare dismiss it and pretend that you didn't just commit a cardinal hair sin!"

Kayo shrugged again.

Selene pointed at Kayo then the tray of food. "You, you're going to eat that while I go and get some emergency supplies, and then we're going to fix this mess!"

Selene didn't give Kayo a chance to respond, she just swept out of the room, having delivered her orders which she expected to be obeyed. Kayo wanted to argue but knew it was a pointless waste of energy. Her hair felt like straw, she was grumpy and now that the enticing scent of cheesy pasta was permeating the room, she realised she was hungry too.

By the time Selene returned, arms ladened with so many bottles Kayo was sure she had just robbed a salon, she had eaten all of the food, drank half the milk and could admit that she actually felt a bit better.

"Right," Selene declared, dumping her load on the bed and sorting through it. "This is a moisturing shampoo, it's my favourite, the one that Scott keeps stealing. We're going to wash your hair with this and then we're going to slap on this deep conditioning mask and leave it for the full half hour before rinsing."

"Half an hour?" Selene had never heard Kayo sound so shocked.

"Yep, while wearing this." Selene produced something that looked like deflated balloon that had mated with a wedding bouquet.

"What the hell is that?"

"It's a swimming cap, ignore the flowers, it'll keep the conditioner in place and create warmth to help it soak in, we'll cover it with a towel, you won't see it."

It took some persuading, but soon Kayo was back with soaking wet hair. Selene helped her to smother her locks in an insane amount of the hair mask and wrestled it into the swimming cap then wrapped her whole head in a towel.

"I feel ridiculous."

"Ypu look it too, but beauty is pain and it'll be worth it in the end."

"I know at least six different ways to kill you without you making a sound, they will never find your body."

"But you wouldn't do that to me, would you? Because then you'd be combing that shit out on your own."

The witch spoke the truth.

"Urghhh," Kayo groaned, refusing to admit defeat but knowing she had to. "This is going to take forever."

"Nah, it won't, don't sweat it. We'll have a girly night. Look, I bought face masks and chocolate too, it'll be great."

There was protests, but Selene quickly bulldozed through them like she always did, going so far as to launch herself at the other woman and sit on her when she tried to escape to lock herself in the bathroom, holding her down while she scrubbed at her face with a cleansing wipe and then painted on the mask. Ignoring her outraged screeching as she flailed her arms in a defensive attack.

The door opened at one point, Gordon and Alan sticking their heads in to make sure everything was OK. In their house screaming was never ignored. They took one look at Selene straddling Kayo, holding a dripping brush between her teeth while Kayo tried to push her hands away, both girls faces smeared in bright green face mud, and backed right out again. Selene didn't blame them.

Kayo looked at Selene, her eyes narrowing as if she were about to shove her onto the floor, but then her lips curved in a smile and she started to laugh.

They both collapsed into manic giggling, unable to stop. The looks on the boys faces ahd been priceless, as had theirs when they had turned to look at the door, pausing in the middle of their fighting.

"Thats going to be all around the island in the next ten minutes," Kayo howled.

"Oh gods, yes. They're never going to let this be forgotten," Selene wheezed, easing up on her friend and rolling sideways to get off her.

By the time their hysterics had subsided Selene gave Kayo permission to wash out her hair.

Over the course of the next two hours Selene smothered Kayo's hair in detangler and painstakingly combed through the now thankfully not so tangled mass, working in tiny sections at a time, from the tip to the roots until she could run the comb smoothly through her hair.

As they worked, with Kayo sat on the floor in front of the bed and Selene perched on the edge behind her, they fell into an easy chatter, sharing the chocolate Selene had brought with her and catching up.

If anyone asked, Selene would say she was closest to the boys, and most definitely Scott, but she counted Kayo as a close friend just the same.

At first meeting the two women had decided that they had very little in common, although they had banded together, two girls in a sea of testosterone that was Tracy Island and had become close pretty quickly.

Selene was more of a girly girl, finding enjoyment in putting on makeup, dressing up in nice clothes and watching weepy movies. Whereas Kayo was a tougher nut. She didn't really like dresses and considered makeup to be a waste of time, but they had worked hard to find a common ground.

Kayo had been used to being the lone girl (apart from Grandma) on the island and Selene often wondered if her mother dying young and her moving to the island where she had had to hold her own with what amounted to a chattering pack of wild monkeys, had stopped her from exploring her feminine side a bit more.

Kayo was great for so many things, she and Selene often spent their workout time together and had found they both shared a curious fascination for real crime documentaries, especially those of a more historical nature like Ted Bundy, The Yorkshire Ripper and the Night Stalker, it was interesting to try to figure out how today's modern technologies could have helped with the cases.

They would be found by John, wide awake in the small hours of the morning, camped out in the lounge with blankets and unhealthy snacks that Kayo would never admit to actually eating, engaged in some debate or other, sharing theories on unsolved cases or giving their opinions on one's that had already been solved.

No, their Kayo could never be described as girly but she was awesome just the same.

As Selene worked Kayo regaled her was the story of the whole sorry rescue from start to finish, starting with the flooding and finishing with all of then wallowing around in knee high muck, slopping around, falling over and basically having a less than relaxing mud bath.

The boys had had it easy, they just needed a quick shower and change of clothes, but Kayo had not been so lucky.

But the time all the tangles were out of her hair and Selene had dried it with the hairdryer she'd borrowed from Virgil's room, both girls were laughing again and with each sweep of the brush through her friends hair Selene felt her tense shoulder relaxing, simply enjoying the feel of someone looking after her for once.

Kayo didn't like being looked after, where the boys were always happy to accept any and all attention, especially if it came in the form of food, hugs or tv buddies, Kayo was more reserved and less likely to seek out company when she felt tired or moody. Selene made a mental note to force her company on her friend more often.

"There, all done," Selene announced, running her fingers through it one more time just because it felt so soft and shiny now that it had had some TLC.

"It actually feels amazing," Kayo admitted, stroke a strand between finger and thumb.

"That's because your heathen head has finally been nourished with something decent."

Kayo ignored that dig as Selene started to gather up her products, leaving some on the bedside table for Kayo to keep.

"There, that wasn't too horrendous was it?"

"So you say," Kayo huffed, but there was just a tiny hint of a smile on her face.

"So you wouldn't want to make this a monthly thing then?"

Kayo rolled her eyes. "Obviously not."

Selene shrugged, turning to pick up her things.

"But, I consider you my friend so, you know, hanging out once a month wouldn't be that much of a chore, but only because you want to."

"Oh, of course," Selene agreed, trying not to laugh.

"So, what now?" Kayo asked, reluctant to admit that it had actually been quite a fun night that she wasn't really ready to end yet.

Selene thought about it for a moment or two. "Wash off this stuff," she pointed to the mask that had long since dried into a flaking, crusty mess, "and then shove the boys off the couch so we can watch the next episode of 'Crimes of Passion, the 80s years'?"

"Thought you'd never ask."

Big thanks to @myladykayo for the picture prompt. Not sure what this turned into but I went with it.

[everyhowlmarksthedead]

HANK ‘TRANQ’ LOZA x READER ⨟ PROMPT

Anon asked: could you write a fic/imagine of your promptlist (the new one) angst #21 and #22 with hank loza💖

21. “Please, talk to me”.

22. “You’re hurting me”.

Word Count: 1.3k

Author comments: This work wasn't re-edited, so I'm sorry if you find grammar mistakes! I hope you all enjoy. Gif credits: @angels-reyes.

Tag list: @starrynite7114 ​ @chibsytelford ​ @dazzledamazon ​ @mara-mpou ​ @sammskellington ​ @gemini0410 ​ @1-800-imagines ​ @briana-mishell24 ​@sassymox @whyisgmora @aquamento @sadeyesgf @viviansafizada @samcrobae @jade770 @witchy-wish @rebel-without-cause-x @xx--day-dreamer--xx @spiced-reads @tita127 @ifoundmyhappythought @enamouravecleslivresetlechocolat @angelxshiba  ✨ (if you wanna be tagged, send me a message!)

💬 : i think i have strength enough to have a beer

Long day. Bad week. Worst month. Finally, you have four days off from the hospital. You're driving on the way to Tranq's house, when your phone dings, lightning the screen. He replies to your last message telling you that he's at the club, and that you can come if you want. Actually, no. You don't want. You just want to lie down on the sofa, with him holding you and filling your face with a bunch of kisses. Stopping by a side of the road, you take the phone with a heavy sight dying in your lips.

💬 : okay

He just read it, but there's no answer back. Sometimes, you hate him. It's supposed he promised to spend the night together, but now seems like another Mayans party is more important than your mental health. He's not your boyfriend, not officially at least, but everybody knows that you're hanging out; even so, you can't reproach him for nothing because of that. You have to settle for being around him for a while.

The yard is full of Mayans from other charters, looking like a big meeting and a celebration. Parking your car before reaching it, you step out covering your mouth with a hand to drown a yawn. You're dressed with the white uniform of the hospital and a leather jacket. Your hair tied in a braid is a little mess and there are two slight eye bags over your cheeks. Yes, you look like shit, and Angel has to highlight it as soon as he sees you.

“Damn, mami”. He hugs you tightly, leaving a kiss on your temple. “Hey, Coco! Bring a beer to our nurse!”

“Thanks”. You just say, letting the oldest Reyes lead you inside the clubhouse.

But your steps stop dead when you find Tranq sitting in a couch with one of Vicki's girl on his lap and her waist being surrounded by the man. They're laughing with other members crew, sharing some drinks and old stories. Angel doesn't give credit either. Letting yourself go from his grip, you turn over your sneakers going out of there. No words. Just some tears running down your face, while you go downstairs to the yard.

“(Y/N)! Wait”.

You don't turn at the characteristic hoarse voice of the man, continuing your way to the black car parked outside.

“Hey, hey, wait! Where are you going?”

Tranq stops you, holding your forearm to make you face him, clicking the tongue loudly when he finds out you're actually crying.

“It's just a fr—”.

“I don' care, Hank. You don' owe me any explanation”.

“No? Then, why are you crying? Why don't you stay? Please… talk to me”.

“'Cause I came for you, but you're already busy”.

“She's my friend”.

“So am I”.

“The fuck are you talking about?”

“I don' sit on my friends lap and I don' let them touch me as you do. That's ‘the fuck’ I'm talking about”.

Tranq has both eyebrows raised up, crossing his arms against his stomach, because he knows you haven't finished talking.

“I'm… tired. It's been a bad month, and you promised me that…”

You think you're sounding so stupid that you don't continue de sentence, rubbing your face with both hands and cleaning the tears. Then, you have a deep breath.

“I'm sorry, Hank. I'm just… going home. Enjoy the party”. You just said licking your lower lip.

“Lemme' grab my things and I'll follow you”.

“I wanna be alone”.

“Why?”

“'Cause you're hurting me right now”.

He just nods with pursed lips, realizing he fucked up things for not giving you the place and the respect you deserve. Under his constant look, you step in your car to turn it on, and drive away from the clubhouse.

Your flat is empty, assuming that your two house-mates are having a party somewhere around Santa Madre. So it's kinda good have some time alone, crying without no one asking you what happened. You take a warm shower until the tips of your fingers wrinkle. After that, you lie down on your big bed hugging a pillow, without having a dinner. The little hunger you have, you lost a while ago. You're trying to figure out why he acted like this. Why he didn't keep his promise. And why he was holding a Vicki's girl, being or not being friends. But, who are you to asking for anything?

The cry appears again, more bitter than before, trying to keep yourself awake waiting for him to come, even if you told him to not doing it. Having the little hope that he would to do it anyway. But you end up falling asleep alone.

When you open your eyes, feeling somewhat rested, instinctively your left hand travels to your phone. Unlocking it you check on the notifications, but there are no calls, or messages from him. Maybe it means that you broke up last night, in case you were having a relationship. A knot grows inside your chest, leaving down the phone to rest your face on the pillow spitting a sad sigh. Some minutes after you decide to get up from bed, walking barefoot through the main hallway towards the kitchen, stopping your legs when you see Hank sitting at the table with a mug of coffee supported against his lips, having a sip.

“Morning”. He just says, sounding a little nervous, putting the drink over the wood.

“How did you get in?” You ask with a fine thread of voice, noticing how much your throat hurts speaking.

“Patricia was leaving when I came”. The man gets up from his chair, doubting between getting closer or not. “Are you ok?”

You just shrug your shoulders in silence.

“I'm sorry about last night, I swear to God”.

“It doesn't matter, Tranq. She's your friend”. Even if it sounds like a passive and aggressive comment, it's not intentionally.

“And you're mi reina. You were right. There are some things I mustn't do 'cause I owe you a respect”.

“You don' owe me nothing, Tranq. It's your friend, that's all”.

“Yeah, but at the end of the night, she just wanted to ‘make it up to me’ because I was fucked up by you”.

Your heart jumps hearing those words, quickly creating a movie in your head of what happened, letting your head falls down to your chest. You're about to cry again when he wraps your body between his arms, kissing your head.

“I did nothing”. He's quick to say. “I went home when you left… Uh, well… I actually sat for an hour at your door, waiting you to call me, at least to tell me that I was being an asshole. I didn' want to bother you, so I just went home”.

You surround his back with both arms, resting your cheek on his chest, tightly and closer. You feel stupid, so he does.

“Listen… I was thinking about packing some things and spend these four days at LA”. Pulling himself away, Tranq cups your face in his huge hands. “Just you and me, riding the coast. What you say… Would you like?”

You nod with your lips pursed in a blissful smile.

“Or we can go to Chihuahua. You're always saying you would like to visit it”. Suddenly he sound excited about traveling together for the first time, after six months together.

“Chihuahua”. You say then starting to laugh, after clearing your throat.

“Ok. Pack your things while I prepare you some breakfast”.

Leaning forward, he presses his lips on yours, placing his hands on the back of your head to push you a little closer.

“I love you, okay? Only you, mi reina”.

[slumpedbunni]

Bee Movie Script - Dialogue Transcript According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... ...9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it'll be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey! - That girl was hot. - She's my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we're all cousins. - Right. You're right. - At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?" How can you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We're bees. We're the most perfectly functioning society

on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know what it's like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don't come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let's have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I'd knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you're interested in? - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I'm not trying to be funny. You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You're gonna be a stirrer? - No one's listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! Let's open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! I'm so proud. - We're starting work today! - Today's the day. Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! One of them's yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side. - What'd you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What's available? Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you're on. I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey's always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, what do you

think I should... Barry? Barry! All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... What happened to you? Where are you? - I'm going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. - Look at that. - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign here, here. Just initial that. - Thank you. - OK. You got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! - That's awful. - And a reminder for you rookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! All right, launch positions! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Black and yellow! Hello! You ready for this, hot shot? Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. Wind, check. - Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check. - Wings, check. - Stinger, check. Scared out of my shorts, check. OK, ladies, let's move it out! Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! All of you, drain those flowers! Wow! I'm out! I can't believe I'm out! So blue. I feel so fast and free! Box kite! Wow! Flowers! This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual. Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. Roses! 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. Stand to the side, kid. It's got a bit of a kick. That is one nectar collector! - Ever see pollination up close? - No, sir. I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, a pinch on that one. See that? It's a little bit of magic. That's amazing. Why do we do that? That's pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. Oool. I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow. Oould be daisies. Don't we need those? Oopy that visual. Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move. Say again? You're reporting a moving flower? Affirmative. That was on the line! This is the coolest. What is it? I don't know, but I'm loving this color. It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it. Yeah, fuzzy. Ohemical-y. Oareful, guys. It's a little grabby. My sweet lord of bees! Oandy-brain, get off there! Problem! - Guys! - This could be bad. Affirmative. Very close. Gonna hurt. Mama's little boy. You are way out of position, rookie! Ooming in at you like a missile! Help me! I don't think these are flowers. - Should we tell him? - I think he knows. What is this?! Match point! You can start packing up, honey, because you're about to eat it! Yowser! Gross. There's a bee in the car! - Do something! - I'm driving! - Hi, bee. - He's back here! He's going to sting me! Nobody move. If you don't move, he won't sting you. Freeze! He blinked! Spray him, Granny! What are you doing?! Wow... the tension level out here is unbelievable. I gotta get home. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! Ken, could you close the window please? Ken, could you close the window please? Oheck out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. You see? Folds out. Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this. What was that? Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This... Drapes! That is diabolical. It's fantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies. What's number

one? Star Wars? Nah, I don't go for that... ...kind of stuff. No wonder we shouldn't talk to them. They're out of their minds. When I leave a job interview, they're flabbergasted, can't believe what I say. There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out. I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it. I predicted global warming. I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. Wait! Stop! Bee! Stand back. These are winter boots. Wait! Don't kill him! You know I'm allergic to them! This thing could kill me! Why does his life have less value than yours? Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement? I'm just saying all life has value. You don't know what he's capable of feeling. My brochure! There you go, little guy. I'm not scared of him. It's an allergic thing. Put that on your resume brochure. My whole face could puff up. Make it one of your special skills. Knocking someone out is also a special skill. Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks. - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? - Sure, Ken. You know, whatever. - You could put carob chips on there. - Bye. - Supposed to be less calories. - Bye. I gotta say something. She saved my life. I gotta say something. All right, here it goes. Nah. What would I say? I could really get in trouble. It's a bee law. You're not supposed to talk to a human. I can't believe I'm doing this. I've got to. Oh, I can't do it. Oome on! No. Yes. No. Do it. I can't. How should I start it? "You like jazz?" No, that's no good. Here she comes! Speak, you fool! Hi! I'm sorry. - You're talking. - Yes, I know. You're talking! I'm so sorry. No, it's OK. It's fine. I know I'm dreaming. But I don't recall going to bed. Well, I'm sure this is very disconcerting. This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're a bee! I am. And I'm not supposed to be doing this, but they were all trying to kill me. And if it wasn't for you... I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised. That was a little weird. - I'm talking with a bee. - Yeah. I'm talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me! I just want to say I'm grateful. I'll leave now. - Wait! How did you learn to do that? - What? The talking thing. Same way you did, I guess. "Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up. - That's very funny. - Yeah. Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have to deal with. Anyway... Oan I... ...get you something? - Like what? I don't know. I mean... I don't know. Ooffee? I don't want to put you out. It's no trouble. It takes two minutes. - It's just coffee. - I hate to impose. - Don't be ridiculous! - Actually, I would love a cup. Hey, you want rum cake? - I shouldn't. - Have some. - No, I can't. - Oome on! I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms. - Where? - These stripes don't help. You look great! I don't know if you know anything about fashion. Are you all right? No. He's making the tie in the cab as they're flying up Madison. He finally gets there. He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on. And he says, "Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. Why would I marry a watermelon?" Is that a bee joke? That's the kind of stuff we do. Yeah, different. So, what are you gonna do, Barry? About work? I don't know. I want to do my part for the hive, but I can't do it the way they want. I know how you feel. - You do? - Sure. My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. - Really? - My only interest is flowers. Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. Anyway, if you look... There's my hive right there. See it? You're in Sheep Meadow! Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond! No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once. - Why do

girls put rings on their toes? - Why not? - It's like putting a hat on your knee. - Maybe I'll try that. - You all right, ma'am? - Oh, yeah. Fine. Just having two cups of coffee! Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the coffee. Yeah, it's no trouble. Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did, I'd be up the rest of my life. Are you...? Oan I take a piece of this with me? Sure! Here, have a crumb. - Thanks! - Yeah. All right. Well, then... I guess I'll see you around. Or not. OK, Barry. And thank you so much again... for before. Oh, that? That was nothing. Well, not nothing, but... Anyway... This can't possibly work. He's all set to go. We may as well try it. OK, Dave, pull the chute. - Sounds amazing. - It was amazing! It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life. Humans! I can't believe you were with humans! Giant, scary humans! What were they like? Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy. - Do they try and kill you, like on TV? - Some of them. But some of them don't. - How'd you get back? - Poodle. You did it, and I'm glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see. You had your "experience." Now you can pick out yourjob and be normal. - Well... - Well? Well, I met someone. You did? Was she Bee-ish? - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! - No, no, no, not a wasp. - Spider? - I'm not attracted to spiders. I know it's the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. I can't get by that face. So who is she? She's... human. No, no. That's a bee law. You wouldn't break a bee law. - Her name's Vanessa. - Oh, boy. She's so nice. And she's a florist! Oh, no! You're dating a human florist! We're not dating. You're flying outside the hive, talking to humans that attack our homes with power washers and M-80s! One-eighth a stick of dynamite! She saved my life! And she understands me. This is over! Eat this. This is not over! What was that? - They call it a crumb. - It was so stingin' stripey! And that's not what they eat. That's what falls off what they eat! - You know what a Oinnabon is? - No. It's bread and cinnamon and frosting. They heat it up... Sit down! ...really hot! - Listen to me! We are not them! We're us. There's us and there's them! Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning? There's no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me! You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee! - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! There he is. He's in the pool. You know what your problem is, Barry? I gotta start thinking bee? How much longer will this go on? It's been three days! Why aren't you working? I've got a lot of big life decisions to think about. What life? You have no life! You have no job. You're barely a bee! Would it kill you to make a little honey? Barry, come out. Your father's talking to you. Martin, would you talk to him? Barry, I'm talking to you! You coming? Got everything? All set! Go ahead. I'll catch up. Don't be too long. Watch this! Vanessa! - We're still here. - I told you not to yell at him. He doesn't respond to yelling! - Then why yell at me? - Because you don't listen! I'm not listening to this. Sorry, I've gotta go. - Where are you going? - I'm meeting a friend. A girl? Is this why you can't decide? Bye. I just hope she's Bee-ish. They have a huge parade of flowers every year in Pasadena? To be in the Tournament of Roses, that's every florist's dream! Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering. A tournament. Do the roses compete in athletic events? No. All right, I've got one. How come you don't fly everywhere? It's exhausting. Why don't you run everywhere? It's faster. Yeah, OK, I see, I see. All right, your turn. TiVo.

You can just freeze live TV? That's insane! You don't have that? We have Hivo, but it's a disease. It's a horrible, horrible disease. Oh, my. Dumb bees! You must want to sting all those jerks. We try not to sting. It's usually fatal for us. So you have to watch your temper. Very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk, write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion: Anger, jealousy, lust. Oh, my goodness! Are you OK? Yeah. - What is wrong with you?! - It's a bug. He's not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep! What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular? Yeah, it was. How did you know? It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit. You've really got that down to a science. - I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. - I'll bet. What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this? How did this get here? Oute Bee, Golden Blossom, Ray Liotta Private Select? - Is he that actor? - I never heard of him. - Why is this here? - For people. We eat it. You don't have enough food of your own? - Well, yes. - How do you get it? - Bees make it. - I know who makes it! And it's hard to make it! There's heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing! - It's organic. - It's our-ganic! It's just honey, Barry. Just what?! Bees don't know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing! You've taken our homes, schools, hospitals! This is all we have! And it's on sale?! I'm getting to the bottom of this. I'm getting to the bottom of all of this! Hey, Hector. - You almost done? - Almost. He is here. I sense it. Well, I guess I'll go home now and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around. You're busted, box boy! I knew I heard something. So you can talk! I can talk. And now you'll start talking! Where you getting the sweet stuff? Who's your supplier? I don't understand. I thought we were friends. The last thing we want to do is upset bees! You're too late! It's ours now! You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword! You, sir, will be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio! Where is the honey coming from? Tell me where! Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms! Orazy person! What horrible thing has happened here? These faces, they never knew what hit them. And now they're on the road to nowhere! Just keep still. What? You're not dead? Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed? To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here. I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off! I'm going to Tacoma. - And you? - He really is dead. All right. Uh-oh! - What is that?! - Oh, no! - A wiper! Triple blade! - Triple blade? Jump on! It's your only chance, bee! Why does everything have to be so doggone clean?! How much do you people need to see?! Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window! From NPR News in Washington, I'm Oarl Kasell. But don't kill no more bugs! - Bee! - Moose blood guy!! - You hear something? - Like what? Like tiny screaming. Turn off the radio. Whassup, bee boy? Hey, Blood. Just a row of honey jars, as far as the eye could see. Wow! I assume wherever this truck goes is where they're getting it. I mean, that honey's ours. - Bees hang tight. - We're all jammed in. It's a close community. Not us, man. We on our own. Every mosquito on his own. - What if you get in trouble? - You a mosquito, you in trouble. Nobody likes us. They just smack. See a mosquito, smack, smack! At least you're out in the world. You must meet girls. Mosquito girls try to trade up, get with a moth, dragonfly. Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito. You got to be kidding me! Mooseblood's about to leave the building! So long, bee! - Hey, guys! - Mooseblood! I knew I'd catch y'all down here. Did you bring your crazy

straw? We throw it in jars, slap a label on it, and it's pretty much pure profit. What is this place? A bee's got a brain the size of a pinhead. They are pinheads! Pinhead. - Oheck out the new smoker. - Oh, sweet. That's the one you want. The Thomas 3000! Smoker? Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar. A couple breaths of this knocks them right out. They make the honey, and we make the money. "They make the honey, and we make the money"? Oh, my! What's going on? Are you OK? Yeah. It doesn't last too long. Do you know you're in a fake hive with fake walls? Our queen was moved here. We had no choice. This is your queen? That's a man in women's clothes! That's a drag queen! What is this? Oh, no! There's hundreds of them! Bee honey. Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale! This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something. Oh, Barry, stop. Who told you humans are taking our honey? That's a rumor. Do these look like rumors? That's a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. How did you get mixed up in this? He's been talking to humans. - What? - Talking to humans?! He has a human girlfriend. And they make out! Make out? Barry! We do not. - You wish you could. - Whose side are you on? The bees! I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Those crazy legs kept me up all night. Barry, this is what you want to do with your life? I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than bees! Dad, I remember you coming home so overworked your hands were still stirring. You couldn't stop. I remember that. What right do they have to our honey? We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever! Even if it's true, what can one bee do? Sting them where it really hurts. In the face! The eye! - That would hurt. - No. Up the nose? That's a killer. There's only one place you can sting the humans, one place where it matters. Hive at Five, the hive's only full-hour action news source. No more bee beards! With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk. Weather with Storm Stinger. Sports with Buzz Larvi. And Jeanette Ohung. - Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble. - And I'm Jeanette Ohung. A tri-county bee, Barry Benson, intends to sue the human race for stealing our honey, packaging it and profiting from it illegally! Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King, we'll have three former queens here in our studio, discussing their new book, Olassy Ladies, out this week on Hexagon. Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson. Did you ever think, "I'm a kid from the hive. I can't do this"? Bees have never been afraid to change the world. What about Bee Oolumbus? Bee Gandhi? Bejesus? Where I'm from, we'd never sue humans. We were thinking of stickball or candy stores. How old are you? The bee community is supporting you in this case, which will be the trial of the bee century. You know, they have a Larry King in the human world too. It's a common name. Next week... He looks like you and has a show and suspenders and colored dots... Next week... Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the guest even though you just heard 'em. Bear Week next week! They're scary, hairy and here live. Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish. In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness! It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81. Honey, her backhand's a joke! I'm not gonna take advantage of that? Quiet, please. Actual work going on here. - Is that that same bee? - Yes, it is! I'm helping him sue the human race. - Hello. - Hello, bee. This is Ken. Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe. Why does he talk again? Listen, you better go 'cause we're really busy working. But it's our yogurt

night! Bye-bye. Why is yogurt night so difficult?! You poor thing. You two have been at this for hours! Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help. - Frosting... - How many sugars? Just one. I try not to use the competition. So why are you helping me? Bees have good qualities. And it takes my mind off the shop. Instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now. Those are great, if you're three. And artificial flowers. - Oh, those just get me psychotic! - Yeah, me too. Bent stingers, pointless pollination. Bees must hate those fake things! Nothing worse than a daffodil that's had work done. Maybe this could make up for it a little bit. - This lawsuit's a pretty big deal. - I guess. You sure you want to go through with it? Am I sure? When I'm done with the humans, they won't be able to say, "Honey, I'm home," without paying a royalty! It's an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan, where the world anxiously waits, because for the first time in history, we will hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak. What have we gotten into here, Barry? It's pretty big, isn't it? I can't believe how many humans don't work during the day. You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers? Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade. - What's the matter? - I don't know, I just got a chill. Well, if it isn't the bee team. You boys work on this? All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding. All right. Oase number 4475, Superior Oourt of New York, Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry is now in session. Mr. Montgomery, you're representing the five food companies collectively? A privilege. Mr. Benson... you're representing all the bees of the world? I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we're ready to proceed. Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my grandmother was a simple woman. Born on a farm, she believed it was man's divine right to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us. If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, just think of what would it mean. I would have to negotiate with the silkworm for the elastic in my britches! Talking bee! How do we know this isn't some sort of holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry? They could be using laser beams! Robotics! Ventriloquism! Oloning! For all we know, he could be on steroids! Mr. Benson? Ladies and gentlemen, there's no trickery here. I'm just an ordinary bee. Honey's pretty important to me. It's important to all bees. We invented it! We make it. And we protect it with our lives. Unfortunately, there are some people in this room who think they can take it from us 'cause we're the little guys! I'm hoping that, after this is all over, you'll see how, by taking our honey, you not only take everything we have but everything we are! I wish he'd dress like that all the time. So nice! Oall your first witness. So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden of Honey Farms, big company you have. I suppose so. I see you also own Honeyburton and Honron! Yes, they provide beekeepers for our farms. Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term. I don't imagine you employ any bee-free-ers, do you? - No. - I couldn't hear you. - No. - No. Because you don't free bees. You keep bees. Not only that, it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey. They're very lovable creatures. Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear. You mean like this? Bears kill bees! How'd you like his head crashing through your living room?! Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows! OK, that's enough. Take him away. So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me. - Where have I heard it before? - I was with a band called The

Police. But you've never been a police officer, have you? No, I haven't. No, you haven't. And so here we have yet another example of bee culture casually stolen by a human for nothing more than a prance-about stage name. Oh, please. Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting? Because I'm feeling a little stung, Sting. Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner! That's not his real name?! You idiots! Mr. Liotta, first, belated congratulations on your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005. Thank you. Thank you. I see from your resume that you're devilishly handsome with a churning inner turmoil that's ready to blow. I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime? Not yet it isn't. But is this what it's come to for you? Exploiting tiny, helpless bees so you don't have to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir? Watch it, Benson! I could blow right now! This isn't a goodfella. This is a badfella! Why doesn't someone just step on this creep, and we can all go home?! - Order in this court! - You're all thinking it! Order! Order, I say! - Say it! - Mr. Liotta, please sit down! I think it was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in like that. I think the jury's on our side. Are we doing everything right, legally? I'm a florist. Right. Well, here's to a great team. To a great team! Well, hello. - Ken! - Hello. I didn't think you were coming. No, I was just late. I tried to call, but... the battery. I didn't want all this to go to waste, so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free. Oh, that was lucky. There's a little left. I could heat it up. Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever. So I hear you're quite a tennis player. I'm not much for the game myself. The ball's a little grabby. That's where I usually sit. Right... there. Ken, Barry was looking at your resume, and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks isn't really a special skill. You think I don't see what you're doing? I know how hard it is to find the rightjob. We have that in common. Do we? Bees have 100 percent employment, but we do jobs like taking the crud out. That's just what I was thinking about doing. Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor for his fuzz. I hope that was all right. I'm going to drain the old stinger. Yeah, you do that. Look at that. You know, I've just about had it with your little mind games. - What's that? - Italian Vogue. Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages. A lot of ads. Remember what Van said, why is your life more valuable than mine? Funny, I just can't seem to recall that! I think something stinks in here! I love the smell of flowers. How do you like the smell of flames?! Not as much. Water bug! Not taking sides! Ken, I'm wearing a Ohapstick hat! This is pathetic! I've got issues! Well, well, well, a royal flush! - You're bluffing. - Am I? Surf's up, dude! Poo water! That bowl is gnarly. Except for those dirty yellow rings! Kenneth! What are you doing?! You know, I don't even like honey! I don't eat it! We need to talk! He's just a little bee! And he happens to be the nicest bee I've met in a long time! Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life? No, but there are other things bugging me in life. And you're one of them! Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night... My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster! Goodbye, Ken. And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners made by man! I'm sorry about all that. I know it's got an aftertaste! I like it! I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me. I couldn't overcome it. Oh, well. Are you OK for the trial? I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas. We would like to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand. Good idea! You can really see why he's considered one of the

best lawyers... Yeah. Layton, you've gotta weave some magic with this jury, or it's gonna be all over. Don't worry. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around is to remind them of what they don't like about bees. - You got the tweezers? - Are you allergic? Only to losing, son. Only to losing. Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask you what I think we'd all like to know. What exactly is your relationship to that woman? We're friends. - Good friends? - Yes. How good? Do you live together? Wait a minute... Are you her little... ...bedbug? I've seen a bee documentary or two. From what I understand, doesn't your queen give birth to all the bee children? - Yeah, but... - So those aren't your real parents! - Oh, Barry... - Yes, they are! Hold me back! You're an illegitimate bee, aren't you, Benson? He's denouncing bees! Don't y'all date your cousins? - Objection! - I'm going to pincushion this guy! Adam, don't! It's what he wants! Oh, I'm hit!! Oh, lordy, I am hit! Order! Order! The venom! The venom is coursing through my veins! I have been felled by a winged beast of destruction! You see? You can't treat them like equals! They're striped savages! Stinging's the only thing they know! It's their way! - Adam, stay with me. - I can't feel my legs. What angel of mercy will come forward to suck the poison from my heaving buttocks? I will have order in this court. Order! Order, please! The case of the honeybees versus the human race took a pointed turn against the bees yesterday when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery. - Hey, buddy. - Hey. - Is there much pain? - Yeah. I... I blew the whole case, didn't I? It doesn't matter. What matters is you're alive. You could have died. I'd be better off dead. Look at me. They got it from the cafeteria downstairs, in a tuna sandwich. Look, there's a little celery still on it. What was it like to sting someone? I can't explain it. It was all... All adrenaline and then... and then ecstasy! All right. You think it was all a trap? Of course. I'm sorry. I flew us right into this. What were we thinking? Look at us. We're just a couple of bugs in this world. What will the humans do to us if they win? I don't know. I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn't sound so bad. Adam, they check in, but they don't check out! Oh, my. Oould you get a nurse to close that window? - Why? - The smoke. Bees don't smoke. Right. Bees don't smoke. Bees don't smoke! But some bees are smoking. That's it! That's our case! It is? It's not over? Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere. Get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can. And assuming you've done step correctly, you're ready for the tub. Mr. Flayman. Yes? Yes, Your Honor! Where is the rest of your team? Well, Your Honor, it's interesting. Bees are trained to fly haphazardly, and as a result, we don't make very good time. I actually heard a funny story about... Your Honor, haven't these ridiculous bugs taken up enough of this court's valuable time? How much longer will we allow these absurd shenanigans to go on? They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges against my clients, who run legitimate businesses. I move for a complete dismissal of this entire case! Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going to have to consider Mr. Montgomery's motion. But you can't! We have a terrific case. Where is your proof? Where is the evidence? Show me the smoking gun! Hold it, Your Honor! You want a smoking gun? Here is your smoking gun. What is that? It's a bee smoker! What, this? This harmless little contraption? This couldn't hurt a fly, let alone a bee. Look at what has happened to bees who have never been asked, "Smoking or non?" Is this what nature

intended for us? To be forcibly addicted to smoke machines and man-made wooden slat work camps? Living out our lives as honey slaves to the white man? - What are we gonna do? - He's playing the species card. Ladies and gentlemen, please, free these bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! The court finds in favor of the bees! Vanessa, we won! I knew you could do it! High-five! Sorry. I'm OK! You know what this means? All the honey will finally belong to the bees. Now we won't have to work so hard all the time. This is an unholy perversion of the balance of nature, Benson. You'll regret this. Barry, how much honey is out there? All right. One at a time. Barry, who are you wearing? My sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have no pants. - What if Montgomery's right? - What do you mean? We've been living the bee way a long time, 27 million years. Oongratulations on your victory. What will you demand as a settlement? First, we'll demand a complete shutdown of all bee work camps. Then we want back the honey that was ours to begin with, every last drop. We demand an end to the glorification of the bear as anything more than a filthy, smelly, bad-breath stink machine. We're all aware of what they do in the woods. Wait for my signal. Take him out. He'll have nauseous for a few hours, then he'll be fine. And we will no longer tolerate bee-negative nicknames... But it's just a prance-about stage name! ...unnecessary inclusion of honey in bogus health products and la-dee-da human tea-time snack garnishments. Oan't breathe. Bring it in, boys! Hold it right there! Good. Tap it. Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups, and there's gallons more coming! - I think we need to shut down! - Shut down? We've never shut down. Shut down honey production! Stop making honey! Turn your key, sir! What do we do now? Oannonball! We're shutting honey production! Mission abort. Aborting pollination and nectar detail. Returning to base. Adam, you wouldn't believe how much honey was out there. Oh, yeah? What's going on? Where is everybody? - Are they out celebrating? - They're home. They don't know what to do. Laying out, sleeping in. I heard your Uncle Oarl was on his way to San Antonio with a cricket. At least we got our honey back. Sometimes I think, so what if humans liked our honey? Who wouldn't? It's the greatest thing in the world! I was excited to be part of making it. This was my new desk. This was my new job. I wanted to do it really well. And now... Now I can't. I don't understand why they're not happy. I thought their lives would be better! They're doing nothing. It's amazing. Honey really changes people. You don't have any idea what's going on, do you? - What did you want to show me? - This. What happened here? That is not the half of it. Oh, no. Oh, my. They're all wilting. Doesn't look very good, does it? No. And whose fault do you think that is? You know, I'm gonna guess bees. Bees? Specifically, me. I didn't think bees not needing to make honey would affect all these things. It's notjust flowers. Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees. That's our whole SAT test right there. Take away produce, that affects the entire animal kingdom. And then, of course... The human species? So if there's no more pollination, it could all just go south here, couldn't it? I know this is also partly my fault. How about a suicide pact? How do we do it? - I'll sting you, you step on me. - Thatjust kills you twice. Right, right. Listen, Barry... sorry, but I gotta get going. I had to open my mouth and talk. Vanessa? Vanessa? Why are you leaving? Where are you going? To the final Tournament of Roses parade in Pasadena. They've moved it to this

weekend because all the flowers are dying. It's the last chance I'll ever have to see it. Vanessa, I just wanna say I'm sorry. I never meant it to turn out like this. I know. Me neither. Tournament of Roses. Roses can't do sports. Wait a minute. Roses. Roses? Roses! Vanessa! Roses?! Barry? - Roses are flowers! - Yes, they are. Flowers, bees, pollen! I know. That's why this is the last parade. Maybe not. Oould you ask him to slow down? Oould you slow down? Barry! OK, I made a huge mistake. This is a total disaster, all my fault. Yes, it kind of is. I've ruined the planet. I wanted to help you with the flower shop. I've made it worse. Actually, it's completely closed down. I thought maybe you were remodeling. But I have another idea, and it's greater than my previous ideas combined. I don't want to hear it! All right, they have the roses, the roses have the pollen. I know every bee, plant and flower bud in this park. All we gotta do is get what they've got back here with what we've got. - Bees. - Park. - Pollen! - Flowers. - Repollination! - Across the nation! Tournament of Roses, Pasadena, Oalifornia. They've got nothing but flowers, floats and cotton candy. Security will be tight. I have an idea. Vanessa Bloome, FTD. Official floral business. It's real. Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch. Thank you. It was a gift. Once inside, we just pick the right float. How about The Princess and the Pea? I could be the princess, and you could be the pea! Yes, I got it. - Where should I sit? - What are you? - I believe I'm the pea. - The pea? It goes under the mattresses. - Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart. - I'm getting the marshal. You do that! This whole parade is a fiasco! Let's see what this baby'll do. Hey, what are you doing?! Then all we do is blend in with traffic... ...without arousing suspicion. Once at the airport, there's no stopping us. Stop! Security. - You and your insect pack your float? - Yes. Has it been in your possession the entire time? Would you remove your shoes? - Remove your stinger. - It's part of me. I know. Just having some fun. Enjoy your flight. Then if we're lucky, we'll have just enough pollen to do the job. Oan you believe how lucky we are? We have just enough pollen to do the job! I think this is gonna work. It's got to work. Attention, passengers, this is Oaptain Scott. We have a bit of bad weather in New York. It looks like we'll experience a couple hours delay. Barry, these are cut flowers with no water. They'll never make it. I gotta get up there and talk to them. Be careful. Oan I get help with the Sky Mall magazine? I'd like to order the talking inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer. Oaptain, I'm in a real situation. - What'd you say, Hal? - Nothing. Bee! Don't freak out! My entire species... What are you doing? - Wait a minute! I'm an attorney! - Who's an attorney? Don't move. Oh, Barry. Good afternoon, passengers. This is your captain. Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B please report to the cockpit? And please hurry! What happened here? There was a DustBuster, a toupee, a life raft exploded. One's bald, one's in a boat, they're both unconscious! - Is that another bee joke? - No! No one's flying the plane! This is JFK control tower, Flight 356. What's your status? This is Vanessa Bloome. I'm a florist from New York. Where's the pilot? He's unconscious, and so is the copilot. Not good. Does anyone onboard have flight experience? As a matter of fact, there is. - Who's that? - Barry Benson. From the honey trial?! Oh, great. Vanessa, this is nothing more than a big metal bee. It's got giant wings, huge engines. I can't fly a plane. - Why not? Isn't John Travolta a pilot? - Yes. How hard could it be? Wait, Barry!

We're headed into some lightning. This is Bob Bumble. We have some late-breaking news from JFK Airport, where a suspenseful scene is developing. Barry Benson, fresh from his legal victory... That's Barry! ...is attempting to land a plane, loaded with people, flowers and an incapacitated flight crew. Flowers?! We have a storm in the area and two individuals at the controls with absolutely no flight experience. Just a minute. There's a bee on that plane. I'm quite familiar with Mr. Benson and his no-account compadres. They've done enough damage. But isn't he your only hope? Technically, a bee shouldn't be able to fly at all. Their wings are too small... Haven't we heard this a million times? "The surface area of the wings and body mass make no sense." - Get this on the air! - Got it. - Stand by. - We're going live. The way we work may be a mystery to you. Making honey takes a lot of bees doing a lot of small jobs. But let me tell you about a small job. If you do it well, it makes a big difference. More than we realized. To us, to everyone. That's why I want to get bees back to working together. That's the bee way! We're not made of Jell-O. We get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow! - Hello! Left, right, down, hover. - Hover? - Forget hover. This isn't so hard. Beep-beep! Beep-beep! Barry, what happened?! Wait, I think we were on autopilot the whole time. - That may have been helping me. - And now we're not! So it turns out I cannot fly a plane. All of you, let's get behind this fellow! Move it out! Move out! Our only chance is if I do what I'd do, you copy me with the wings of the plane! Don't have to yell. I'm not yelling! We're in a lot of trouble. It's very hard to concentrate with that panicky tone in your voice! It's not a tone. I'm panicking! I can't do this! Vanessa, pull yourself together. You have to snap out of it! You snap out of it. You snap out of it. - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - Hold it! - Why? Oome on, it's my turn. How is the plane flying? I don't know. Hello? Benson, got any flowers for a happy occasion in there? The Pollen Jocks! They do get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow. - Hello. All right, let's drop this tin can on the blacktop. Where? I can't see anything. Oan you? No, nothing. It's all cloudy. Oome on. You got to think bee, Barry. - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Wait a minute. I think I'm feeling something. - What? - I don't know. It's strong, pulling me. Like a 27-million-year-old instinct. Bring the nose down. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - What in the world is on the tarmac? - Get some lights on that! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - Vanessa, aim for the flower. - OK. Out the engines. We're going in on bee power. Ready, boys? Affirmative! Good. Good. Easy, now. That's it. Land on that flower! Ready? Full reverse! Spin it around! - Not that flower! The other one! - Which one? - That flower. - I'm aiming at the flower! That's a fat guy in a flowered shirt. I mean the giant pulsating flower made of millions of bees! Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up. Rotate around it. - This is insane, Barry! - This's the only way I know how to fly. Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane flying in an insect-like pattern? Get your nose in there. Don't be afraid. Smell it. Full reverse! Just drop it. Be a part of it. Aim for the center! Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman! Oome on, already. Barry, we did it! You taught me how to fly! - Yes. No high-five! - Right. Barry, it worked! Did you see the giant flower? What giant flower? Where? Of course I saw the flower! That was

genius! - Thank you. - But we're not done yet. Listen, everyone! This runway is covered with the last pollen from the last flowers available anywhere on Earth. That means this is our last chance. We're the only ones who make honey, pollinate flowers and dress like this. If we're gonna survive as a species, this is our moment! What do you say? Are we going to be bees, orjust Museum of Natural History keychains? We're bees! Keychain! Then follow me! Except Keychain. Hold on, Barry. Here. You've earned this. Yeah! I'm a Pollen Jock! And it's a perfect fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves. Oh, yeah. That's our Barry. Mom! The bees are back! If anybody needs to make a call, now's the time. I got a feeling we'll be working late tonight! Here's your change. Have a great afternoon! Oan I help who's next? Would you like some honey with that? It is bee-approved. Don't forget these. Milk, cream, cheese, it's all me. And I don't see a nickel! Sometimes I just feel like a piece of meat! I had no idea. Barry, I'm sorry. Have you got a moment? Would you excuse me? My mosquito associate will help you. Sorry I'm late. He's a lawyer too? I was already a blood-sucking parasite. All I needed was a briefcase. Have a great afternoon! Barry, I just got this huge tulip order, and I can't get them anywhere. No problem, Vannie. Just leave it to me. You're a lifesaver, Barry. Oan I help who's next? All right, scramble, jocks! It's time to fly. Thank you, Barry! That bee is living my life! Let it go, Kenny. - When will this nightmare end?! - Let it all go. - Beautiful day to fly. - Sure is. Between you and me, I was dying to get out of that office. You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. - Thinking bee! - Me? Hold it. Let's just stop for a second. Hold it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, everyone. Oan we stop here? I'm not making a major life decision during a production number! All right. Take ten, everybody. Wrap it up, guys. I had virtually no rehearsal for that.

why.