#she tells people to stay in their lane and do their research when she doesn't even follow her own advice

[greenerteacups]

What do you think as Hermione's career would be post battle of Hogwarts? To me her being minister for magic really doesn't make sense. She does not have patience or tact to wade through murky waters of politics 😭😭

So hard to say! The Trio are so, so young when we leave them, I find it almost impossible to project their futures farther than a few years out. The job that suited me at 17 would be radically unsuited to me now. That's why of all the Trio, Ron's ending strikes me as the most realistic — he jumps straight into the save-the-world business again, burns out, realizes he's actually Done The Fuck Enough, Thanks, and pivots into a low-stress career where he gets to see his family a lot. Feels accurate! The others are weirder to me because they do seem to just... pick a lane and stay there.

With Hermione, you could spin her a couple ways. You could say that she leans into her bookish side and does research or teaching, which is not my preference for a couple reasons (namely, I don't think Hermione would like academia as a profession; she finds her classwork interesting and enjoys intellectual validation, but she'd be stifled and wasted in a DPhil program, and she'd be infuriated by the administrative politicking of your average higher-ed faculty). You could say that she gets disaffected with politics and ends up as a barrister or a lobbyist of some kind, but if anything that requires more political finesse, because you don't actually have institutional power, you're just handling the people who make decisions and trying to persuade them of your goals. This is not Hermione's preferred method of influence. She's not even particularly good at persuasion, she just happens to be smart enough (and right often enough) that people take her ideas seriously.

Or you could say her brashness fades with the years into a softened flavor of tell-you-like-it-is honesty, which some politicians actually do successfully trade on; as we see in British politics today, you don't have to be all that charming or clever to get ahead, you just need to be really driven and well-connected (which Hermione completely is; she fought shoulder-to-shoulder with the first postwar Minister and her bestie, the Literal Messiah, runs the Auror Office.) But I don't know if Hermione especially wants to be Minister, after the war. She's just watched years of horrendous bureaucratic incompetence plunge the country into a violent civil conflict. She's had not one, but two Ministers of Magic try to bully or shame her friends into complicity with fascism. Her view of government is... likely extremely dark.

But Hermione also isn't the kind of person who sees her life as a quest for happiness. Babygirl has a savior complex that makes Harry look selfish. (She basically kills her parents — yeah, obliviating is a form of murder, #changemymind — "for their own good," and justifies every batshit, vindictive, mean-spirited move she ever pulls on the grounds that it "helps" one of her friends.) She is a mean, lean, dragon-slaying machine, and she needs a dragon. After Voldemort, the Ministry is the no. 1 threat to muggle-borns and non-wizarding Beings. As a war heroine with basically infinite political capital, I'd be surprised if she didn't try to do something there. That said, Hermione is so vivacious and dynamic that she could potentially grow in a hundred different directions; it's possible that all of this, while true of her at 18, becomes completely inaccurate by 22. That's why I'm not too fussed about any particular fanon interpretation.

[darkcrowprincess]

(Don't like don't read. Post hate and I'll block you)

Pink Astronaut headcanons(plus general headcanons I have for both their characters)

Paulina at first started the phantom blog mostly because she of course has crush on phantom and loves writing posts about phantom, getting videos of clips about phantom and writing(surprisingly actually really good) fanfiction about phantom. But than she takes a liking to writing and learning about ghosts and the supernatural. She also gets kinda a thrill managing to record whats happening during ghost fights on her phone or camera. She basically becomes a little bit of a Lois Lane for ghosts and tries to find out actual real (and actually helpful) information about ghosts and what their like(unlike the Fentons) to her followers. And her tips actually do some good at getting students out of danger and avoid/stay safe from ghosts.

The problem is that she's being reckless trying to get the best recordings and pics that she ends up needing Phantom to save her lot. Through lots of trial and error she gets better.

Star helps her a lot with the blog and her and Paulina actually become close and better friends because of it. Star has her own segments with fashion tips, tarot card readings and something call 'Star opinions' what she thinks about certain ghosts, people and fashion. Stars actually really funny and sweet. And Paulina actually doesn't mind Star getting attention because it's so good for the blog, she's becoming a better person, and it gives her more time to write.

Meanwhile Danny is constantly between super worried and annoyed at having to save her all the time. At the same time he secretly enjoys it. Plus he gets to spend more time with his crush. So it's complicated.

Danny eventually hears about the blog. Checks it out and is pleasantly surprised by it. Paulina actually managed to do some decent work, the research is good. And her theories are for the most part true. The warnings and fights on ghosts actually seem to help people avoid getting in the middle of them (which means less stress for Danny worrying someone might get caught in the cross fire between another fight between him and Skulker). Her writing is actually really good. Though he blushes at her fanfiction. He's kinda flattered that he was the inspiration for it.

Danny nicknames Paulina 'Lina'. Paulina likes it because it's sweet, and because her Papi calls her that too. She only lets the ghost boy and her Papi call her that though.

Other than ghost boy, Paulina nicknames Danny ángel, whixh means angel in spanish.

Paulina gets a lucky break and manages to catch the ghost boy in a good mood. She asks him if he'd be willing to do a interview that she could write for her blog. She promises she'll be respectful and that if he's uncomfortable with certain questions he doesn't have to answer. Danny agrees( mostly so they can spend more time together)

The interview happens on top of an old abandoned building that Danny sometimes uses as a hide out to stich himself after a fight or just get away from his parents( yeah I don't like Danny's parents)

The interview goes pretty well. Mostly it's silly questions like what's Danny's favorite foods( cheeseburger or milkshakes) or what does he like to do in his free time ( star gazing or flying. )

Why Paulina is asking questions Danny shyly at first, but soon with growing confidence asks her questions to( What’s your favorite colors: pink and green, what's your favorite anime: sailor moon)

They soon get to a few serious questions that Danny has trouble answering to. Paulina tries to tell him it's ok he doesn't have to answer, but in the end he does, but of course doesn't tell the full truth( Why do you fight ghosts and protect people? Answer: It's kinda like need to, I have to. Besides if I don't a lot of people will get hurt. Who is your worst enemy? Answer: Plasmius. And I won't explain why. Just know he's a freaking fruit loop and stay clear of him)

Later when Paulina finds out who Danny really is and who exactly Plasmius really is, she finds Vlad a fucking creep too. She calls Vlad 'gringo pendejo' as an insult or just 'pendejo'. There's this hilarious/badass moment later in pink astronauts relationship where because Vlad was too busy gloating/monologuing in his human form, Paulina manages to hit him with a car and save Danny and his friends( she knocked him unconscious, but still alive. Only thing really hurt was the fruit loops pride) Danny fell in love with her for that moment and kissed her for it as they drove away for their lives. Some how Tucker recorded it and they laugh about all the time.

The interview ends well, and Paulina manages to get a kiss out of the ghost boy(something she surprisingly keeps to herself. That interview was for her blog. But that kiss between her and the ghost boy, she's taking it to her grave)

Sam Manson obviously is getting really jealous over all this(sorry I just don't like Sam's character very much). Over how close Paulina and Danny are getting. She tries to hide it and tell Danny she's shallow, she'll expose your secret. Danny doesn't think so( he honestly believes Paulina has gotten better and change. And blog has.) Danny believes the blog has actually help. And Paulina isn't trying to pry. She honestly wants to spend time with him. Or at least his Phantom side of him.

Paulina and Sam get into a fight(a physical fight) later at school when Paulina finds out about Danny and pink astronauts relationship manages to work out (and get better to Sam's horror) as a result. Sam manages to get a few good hits but ultimately Paulina kicks Sam's ass. Mostly cause she's a physical fit cheerleader and beautiful Hispanic girl with a dad for a cop( her father definitely taught her how to defend herself) in almost all white town. Sorry no rich white girl is going to be able to kick her ass.

Paulina's Family: her dad is amity parks chief of police. Her mom lives somewhere else because she's an abusive alcoholic( due to family trauma), her aunt( her dad's sister lives with them) is a lawyer, she has two older brothers, and had a twin sister who died when they were both 8. Mostly her abuela takes care of her, but her dad and aunt try to be their as much as they can. Her family isn't rich, but they're not poor either. Mostly because her family works a lot, it's mostly Paulina and her abuela a lot. An abuela who loves ghosts and ghost stories as much as she does, and likes to spoil Paulina a lot( her dad does too).

Paulina doesn't like to talk about her mom. But she's why she had a lot of the issues she has. Especially about beauty. Her mom hit her a lot.

Her and Danny bond over their bad parents.

Song that makes Danny think of Paulina: Waiting for Superman by Daughtry.

Song that makes Paulina think of Danny after she finds out the truth Let's here it for the boy by Deniece Williams.

After they had their first kiss after she found out the truth Paulina listened to that song on repeat and was dancing all over her room.

Paulina realizes she's in love with Danny after Danny's tells Paulina one of his darkest fears. Dark Dan. Paulina quickly reassures Danny that she isn't afraid of him. Seeing his flaws and the worst of him. Added to what he deals with on the daily made her realize Danny with or without the ghost powers is an incredibly kind and brave person. And that's why she loves him.

(That's all I have for now will probably write more later.)

@imekitty @sailor-toni @thebooo-merang @chintadraws @lalaeliz

[mybeypage]

The Bladebreakers as drivers - unsupported headcanons

Kenny: knows all the laws and road etiquette and follows them to the letter, as he believes everyone should. He understands the mechanics of driving manual, but he can't seem to make it work, so he can only drive automatic. He keeps his car is meticulously maintained according to the manufacture’s recommendations, and even though he could make the essential repairs himself, he always takes it in. He has a notebook where he keeps records of every service. He carefully researched cars - gas and electric - to find the one that best meets his needs. Despite all of this, he hates driving and would rather be in charge of the navigation and snacks during a road trip. He probably has mid to high level of anxiety that comes out as irritation. He'd be the one to yell at other drivers on the road but would never even honk if someone cut him off.

Hilary: knows the basic laws and has never so much gotten a ticket. She's a safe driver: always signals before changing lanes even if no one is there; stops well before a crosswalk goes the speed limit, especially in school zones. Her music stays at a decent level, but she's more likely to be listening to audiobooks or podcasts. She could probably drive stick if she took the time to learn but hasn't yet. Her car is clean and smells good. Knows the general schedule for maintenance and listens to the mechanic's recommendations. She doesn’t mind driving but hates driving with Tyson, who distracts her. Won't touch her phone while driving, but has it mounted so she can see it if needed.

Kai: Rude. He knows the laws and chooses which ones to follow. Drives manual. Will speed, cut people off, swerve in and out of traffic. Isn't worried about tickets because money takes care of that. He is an okay driver, hasn't had any accidents. Will absolutely mess with his phone, but usually only to change music or text if he's at a red light. Has his car detailed regularly and knows when to take it in for maintenance.

Max: is a really good defensive driver. He's not going to make crazy maneuvers or pull stunts that make you worry you life is over. He checks his blind spots before signaling a lane change and slows down to avoid erratic drivers. His goal is to get from point A to point B as safely as possible, and he's really good at it. He likes his music loud! One of his favorite things is seeing dogs stick their heads out the window and will look for it. He'll even try to align his window with them so he can say 'hi' and tell them they're a good boy. His car has an insane amount of bumper stickers. Car is clean but you can find receipts and bits of trash. Needs visual reminders for maintenance.

Ray: is a good mixture between aggressive and defensive. He's got quick reflexes that allows him to make moves that might scare passengers but he knows what he's doing, and is in complete control. Doesn't rely on navigations apps to find where he's going. He's the best a night driving. Tries not to touch his phone, but will check messages if he sees something. Is pretty okay with maintenance. Has one mechanic that he trusts and only uses him.

Tyson: only recently got his license. With five friends who drive, and mainly traveling by any other means, he's never needed one. He's the last to offer to drive for the group, more interested in seeing the sights and talking to the others in the car. When he does drive, he forgets to signal turns, sometimes accidentally cuts people off because he doesn't check his blind spots, and sometimes forgets to check his speed so he's always either going to fast or too slow. His car is generally a mess. You can see the floor, but it's covered with candy wrappers and water bottles. Kenny schedules his maintenance.

Feel free to add

[texasthegreatdestroyer]

Welp initially I held back for Mack's sake, but not anymore.

@Yooniesim Bitch, leave my name out your mouth if you don't have the fucking balls to unblock me before you tag me, you fucking pussy. Imagine being on such a high horse when you don't allow those you lie about to to respond.

Let's air your dirty laundry, shall we? You fucking had the audacity to put my personal situation in your mouth as a way of showing fake sympathy that you clearly didn't fucking mean as you went on to tell Mack to drop me as a friend. Because yeah, for someone who "sympathizes with my plite" you have a real funny way of showing it by under that same breath telling people to completely isolate me. That's definitely what you should do to someone who's presently experiencing trauma. Nah bitch. You're a manipulative, gaslighting cunt. The fact that you had the audacity to put my situation in your mouth and try and hold a dick measuring contest of suffering is fucking yikes from me my guy. You don't know shit about me, you've literally never talked to me, and you don’t know my situation, so sit the fuck down and shut up. Literally, you don't have to fake caring about my problems, my guy, because quite frankly I don't give a shit about yours, and unlike you, I'm not afraid to tell it to your face. You're a gaslighting, manipulative bitch, and I genuinely feel bad for any friends or family who call you their friend because you're an awful person. Imagine being all Virgina George and shit, and telling someone who respected you, who viewed you as a friend "I don't like this person, therefor you should drop them or I'll drop you." Mack doesn't have to address me because I'm a grown ass adult, capable of making my own decisions and owning my shit. Mack isn't my mommy, she's not responsible for me. "Tex misgendered someone!" Bitch has fucking it/she/he in their bio.

Oh, but I'm misgendering people. Yall are so fucking stupid. Funny how a little bit of research can prove how much of lunatic gyaru is. The only way I could have possibly migendered them is by calling them they/them, and it's a gender neutral term, so I now care even less. "B-BUT TEX WAS ALSO ABLEIST!" By doing what? Shouting "REEEEEEEEEE!"? I said that before I even knew they were autistic. Why? Because it's also used to mock people who are triggered, as I clarified in several posts that I thought was the case. I'm also Nurodivergant myself, so like. Fuck you. Even if It was somehow ableist, which it isn't. I don't have to answer to you as to what ways I choose to fucking speak. Maybe stay in your own lane. The only other thing I can think of is me calling them a lunatic, and I mean they are. They literally think myself and Mack are the same person, and they've been bitching about me when literally anytime I've fucked with them was because they'll cry and whine about me for a fuckin week after I stop interacting with them, so I'll jab back because it's fuckin funny. Sorry yall don't have a sense of fucking humor. Maybe get one.

Speaking of~ can we just point out the fact that Yoonie couldn't be arsed to do basic fucking research or reach out to anyone in this situation? Like fucking hell. You're quick to point out the shit I do, and take anything Gyaru says seriously, but you'll ignore their unhinged tirades, spewing tin foil hat conspiracy theories about how myself and Mack are the same person, something you know damn well isn't true, something I made a post about disproving and one I've known you've seen because you commented on the fact when talking with Mack about my personal shit, you dumb fucking broad. You also believed claims of ableism from a fucking lunatic who tried to bait me into calling them an r-word and FAILED, so they had to look for something else to get me at, and like the gullible little moron you are, you bought it hook line and sinker! Won't lie! That's some funny shit! Guys, I literally made a post about how gullible the fucking Sims 4 anti paywall community was, and Yoonie is a prime example of who that post was directed at. Because yall don't do basic fucking research. You just go with it to boost your fucking egos. Literally Yoonie, if you gave a shit about half the shit you claim to give a shit about (racism, transphobia, ableism, etc.) You'd actually take the time to fact check yourself and not direct people to false allegations that makes it to where shit like that doesn't get taken seriously when it actually does happen. Call it what it really is. You don't give a shit about those who are oppressed. It's literally just an ego boost for you. I can see now why you defended Saurine's stupidity. Because you're just as guilty of it. Literally, all you needed to do was fucking message me about it and I would have had a civil conversation with you and explained the situation, but no. Instead, you didn't bother to fact check any of the stupid shit you said and then you went to bitch to Mack because I indirectly hurt your fee fees. Fucking go cry about it you baby back bitch. I've literally never seen someone so fucking spineless.

The rest of her tirade is about the Trump vote thing, and I literally couldn't care any less than I do now. It's old shit that was addressed months ago by Mack, and it's sure as hell not my problem. Plus I really don't give a shit about the political opinions of the people who voted for the man who is currently destroying our economy worse than it has been in a long fucking time. No one's better than everyone else. Yall are just as much bigoted, spineless losers with skeletons in the closet that you claim me to be. The question is who's going to be the next big sensational bigot to bitch about. It could be you next, and I honestly have to sit and laugh, because that's the shit there that is the reason why the exclusive creators will continue to use yall as fucking door matts. Yall have no priorities and literally bitch about stupid shit just to bitch.

Oh, and before anyone wants to cry to Mack about how Im a big ol meanie and she needs to disavow me. She already has. I'm blocked and she disavowed me privately. As to rather or not she decides to do it publicly is her choice, and I wouldn't have it any other way, because I'm sick and tired of having to walk on egg shells because of it back firing on her because yall seem to think people can't take responsibility for their own shit, so everyone else has to do it for them. Like fuck off with that nonsense. I'm not gonna sugar coat shit to please yall. You either like what I have to say or you don't. Unlike half this community, I don’t give a shit about my reputation. It's more stress than one realistically needs. I like speaking my mind and that's pretty much it. Don't like it, then bitch about it, or block and move on. Yoonie can go fuck themself. They want to cry and bitch about how I hurt their feefees, they can have fun with that. Considering they're an awful person, It low key gives me life. Anyways. I'm done. Originally I was going to write a doc about this and then leave the community, but nah. Fuck it. By the end of this, I'm going to be known as the community shit stirrer, and I live for it! Anyways! That offer for the Beverly Hills Mansion still stands. Sksksksksksksksk.

-Texasthegreatdestroyer mother fuckin signing off!

Oh, and P.S. If Yoonie tries to claim she never had me blocked, well uh. I'm not dumb unlike her. I grab screenshots of shit automatically. It's been this way for awhile now, as I've tried to respond to posts from mutuals only to find that that I can't because they're a reblog of hers, so I have to find the source. Also it duped screenshots in the post. Oh well.

[fritae]

The Missing Piece (Chapter 12)

Closer.

gang! au / ceo! au

characters: dabi x f. oc, lov

status: ongoing

read on ao3 here.

a/n: i really like this chapter heh, hope u enjoy! 😚

The staircase leads all the way to basement. I wondered why they would hide such steep, hidden steps in Dabi's office when they could create (much) shorter, more accessible ones from the first floor.

But I'm guessing that's the point.

This isn't supposed to be easy to reach. And Dabi's office is the one place no one would dare enter.

Aside from us, of course.

The basement is completely dark, forcing me to draw myself even closer to Dabi. I enjoy the weight of his hand in mine. He has a firm, tight grip. But just as the thought warms my cheeks, I shake it out of my head.

Within seconds, Dabi turns on the lights.

My eyes widen, taking in the sight before me.

Blood.

A lot of it.

Though it looks dried, like it's been there for ages.

I spot a wall of different sized knives on one hand. A gun display on the other. A shelf of jars, filled with a murky looking liquid and...I don't even want to know what that is inside.

Dabi watches me.

There's a simple, plastic white table in the center of the floor with a large white board behind it.

The place is much messier and less...classy, than the rest of the Blaze.

But I have the feeling it's because it's not meant for outside eyes.

"You okay?" Dabi asks.

I nod, squeezing his hand to comfort myself.

Before the others reach the bottom, he whispers in my ear, "Whenever you want to leave, let me know. You don't have to be here."

"Okay."

"And," He takes another glance at the stairs as the others begin to appear. "Again, Rina. This place does not exist. Anything we say here does not leave this room. Got it?"

I glance warily at the knives.

"Why are you so worried?" I try to smile so he doesn't pick up on my nervousness. "I don't have anyone outside of you guys anyway. Who would I talk to?"

My comment seems to confuse him. "What about-"

"Welcome to the League!!" Toga jumps off the last few steps and swings into full view.

I shoot Dabi a look. "The League?"

"The League of Villains, of course!" Atsuhiro follows Toga, a dramatic grin on his lips. "Only the baddest group of bad boys in town."

"And girls!" Toga calls out.

"League of Villains?" I cackle. "Who came up with that?"

Tenko scowls.

Oop.

Dabi lets go of my hand and motions for me to take a seat on one of the plastic chairs.

I pick a red chair near the board.

"So what is that you guys really do?"

"I told you," Dabi says. "Special services to people willing to pay up."

Given where we are, that suddenly feels a lot more sinister than it did when he first told me.

I look back at the knives and jars in the background.

"So like, a gang? Where you steal things and hurt people if someone pays you enough? Like the movies?"

"Guess you could put it that way."

"And there's actually people that pay for this stuff?"

Dabi shrugs. "It's a niche market."

Woah.

There's a lot more questions in my head, but now is not the time. Maybe later.

As Dabi moves to take a seat, his abdomen brushes against the edge of the table and he hisses in pain.

It releases blood again.

"Fuck!" He grips the skin.

I move closer to him, gripping his hands again. "It still hurts?" I ask worriedly. "Is there anything we can do?" I look around at the others quickly.

"Yes!" Toga says, a little too eagerly.

"What is it?"

She hops over to knives behind us, and takes a moment deciding which one she wants.

She brandishes a short but sharp blade and lets out an excited squeal, as though she enjoyed this.

"Fire please!" She calls out.

What's she doing?

Dabi groans and pulls a lighter out of his pocket. He tosses it toward her, and she carefully holds it under the edge of the blade, running it up and down for several minutes until it turns red.

She's going to seal the wound so it doesn't get infected.

"Lie down, boss," She says in a sing-song voice.

I clear the few papers were scattered on the table and move so Dabi could spread himself over it.

He lifts the edge of his shirt to his midriff, and my breath catches in my throat when I see his abdomen.

The skin is covered in large swaths of reddish purple.

Like parts of it were burnt off...

I gasp.

"These are old," Dabi looks at me. He's watching me carefully, wanting to see just how I'd react. "Still want to be here?"

I swallow my anxiety as I stare at Dabi's mismatched skin. I won't give him the chance to say 'I told you so.'

This must be why he wouldn't let me dress the wound.

He didn't want me to see this.

No wonder the stab didn't phase him.

What else has his body been through...

"Here I come!" Toga grins.

She was all too eager to take the scorching knife and press it to his stomach.

Dabi clenches his teeth immediately, leaving me to hurriedly stand next to him. I squeeze his hand to soothe him, but he grips mine back so hard I think he might break it.

I brush his hair out of eyes and press my hand to his forehead to calm him.

"It's okay," I tell him softly. "It's over."

The others stare at Dabi's wound uncomfortably, like they've been under Toga's knife before.

I wonder if they have similar wounds.

Dabi releases his harsh grip on my hand and begins to breathe slower.

One things strikes me though.

Despite all the pain he's undoubtedly feeling right now, not a single tear drops from his eyes.

I think it might just be him trying not to appear weak in front of us.

But as I look into his eyes, I'm surprised to find them completely dry.

"Are you superhuman or something?" I joke with him.

He looks at me quizzically.

"All of that and you didn't cry?"

Dabi closes his eyes. "I don't cry." He grits his teeth.

I roll my eyes.

Whatever you say.

The others slowly help him sit up straight. I take the first aid kit from Atsuhiro, picking out the cotton, gauze and antibacterial wipes.

Dabi is less reluctant when I try to wrap the area this time.

"You can hold onto me if you want," I tease as I wrap the gauze around his body.

A small smirk appears on his lips. His arm suddenly snakes around my waist, pulling me close to him.

I blush and the gauze falls out of my hands.

Dabi tilts his head. "What's wrong? Thought you wanted me to hold onto you?"

The guys snicker behind us.

I push him away from me, and he laughs as I take another piece of gauze and try again.

"You guys can talk now," I tell them focused on what I'm doing. "What exactly happened today?

Did Mr. Lane find out about the League? Is that what made you a target?"

Dabi is silent.

His silence puzzles me. I look to the others to see if they knew anything.

"Dabi tried blowing up his car!" Toga volunteers.

I frown.

Could this be just because of how Mr. Lane treated me?

No. There's no reason for it to mean that much to Dabi.

Enough to get angry, sure.

To harm Mr. Lane?

Doubtful.

"Why would you blow up his car?" I ask.

Tenko pulls up a chair. "We did some research on him. He's working with some really shady people. And Dabi told us about the whole Todoroki affair."

I shoot Dabi a look.

"They're trying to trick people into thinking they're heroes. That they should be put on a pedestal and admired. There's people out there telling their kids to be like them. Meanwhile they're going around-"

"Enough," Dabi interrupts Tenko. "Point is, they're fakes. They built up their media empires off that fake image. And we're going to expose them."

"But you guys are also doing...you know," I don't know how to say it in a way that isn't offensive. "I mean, you tried blowing up his car. And I'm guessing you probably have done more...if I'm not reaching."

Their eyes harden.

"We never pretended to be good."

I know I should stay silent, but I keep going.

"Right, but you have a double image too. There's the Blaze, and then there's the League."

They shake their heads.

"The Blaze is to funnel money into the League. Yeah, sure it's a front, but those who need our services know where to find us. We can't have masses of people finding out about the other shit we do, can we?"

"But how did this all start? What are you trying to achieve?"

"We just hate hypocrites. We'll help a bad guy to bring down a worse guy. Those that act like angels in public are our favorite targets. I don't care if we have to steal, blackmail, or kill them," Dabi's eyes shine with evil. "Whatever it takes to beat their egos down. Reveal the private faces they hide. Until they're forced to show their bloody hands before the world. Someone like Enji is using Lane for media coverage. Lane is depending on him for protection and cash. We can take them both down."

"What if you get caught?"

He dismisses the question, like it's not even worth his time. "By who?" He scoffs. "Lane? As soon as we take down Enji, Lane's done for. Since he's your old boss, we can give you leeway with how badly you want us to go after him." Dabi says this like that's what I'm genuinely concerned about right now. "Lane's a scared little prick anyway, as soon as he saw me he bounced out of the car and screamed for protection." He laughs like he can picture Mr. Lane's pathetic position as we speak. "But he'll fall. Just like the rest of them."

"I meant the police, Dabi."

The question puzzles him as if he's never considered it before. But the look in his eyes tells me they're even less of a concern than Mr. Lane.

"Don't worry about that," He says. "That's the least of our problems, to be honest."

I nod.

I let them speak uninterrupted for the rest of the night. They have business to take care of, and if I keep asking questions like this, they'll never get to finish. It's enough that they waited all day for me to leave so they could start. Can't hold them up at night as well.

The Todoroki name was brought up several times, among others. It seems strange now, considering Dabi knows it was Mr. Lane's relations with Enji that led to me leaving the company the way I did. Turns out he knows a lot more about Enji than I do.

I try to keep track of the other names as well, but there's so many and I'm so tired, I can barely keep up.

"Here's where Rina comes in," Dabi continues.

My eyes widen at the mention of my name.

"Enji's using Lane for his image. Rina, you said they were working on a movie or something?"

"A documentary, yes."

"We need to make sure that shit doesn't air."

I bite my lip, trying to remember as much information as I could about the documentary. It was supposed to air already. I remember Mr. Lane saying it would be within the month.

But it hasn't yet.

Which means I need to find out more from Al.

"My roommate still works at NNTV. She's the floor manager so she might have some idea of what's going on. I can ask her."

"You sure you can trust her?" Dabi asks with a frown.

"Well, I'm not gonna tell her any details, she's the one that's gonna need to have trust in me, no?"

Atsuhiro cracks his knuckles and rubs his neck. "I don't know, I don't like the sound of that. We have our own ways of finding stuff out so-"

"It won't hurt to try," I insist, looking at Dabi since he's the one that has final say on these matters. "Having 2 avenues of information is better than 1."

Truth be told, I just want to feel useful. I want to feel like I have a role to play, not just that I'm here to "sit and watch".

I want them to feel good about me being here, not apprehensive about whether this was a good decision.

After some deliberation, Dabi sighs. He looks to the others for input. "Might as well?"

"I mean she's here," Tenko says monotonously. "Might as well use her."

Dabi nods and then turns to me. "Just don't be stupid with it. Lead her into the conversation, don't bring it up out of nowhere. She'll be curious about why you're bringing it up. Don't say anything that'll make her ask questions. The more questions she asks you, the more suspicious she'll be."

"Relax guys, I got this." I smile. "Besides, she's a chatterbox. She'll open up at the slightest nudge and go on forever. She's the one that told me about all the.." I grimace. "..issues with the Todoroki company."

Plus, she's my friend! Of course, I can trust her. We've been roommates for years. If anyone could tell me about Mr. Lane's current plans for the documentary, it'd be her.

"So it's settled!" Toga claps. She takes a marker and goes up to the white board, drawing a flow chart with all that's been discussed today. She adds my part last, circling my name and underlining it several times for emphasis, over a big red INTEL SOURCING.

The sight of that makes me smile, like I have a role to play in all of this. I look around at the others but they're all preoccupied with moving things around and discussing their own parts.

The lack of enthusiasm isn't surprising, I mean this is normal for them.

But all I can think of is how exciting it'll be if I have something to contribute the next time we meet. If they'll call me down, and look at me expectantly. I imagine the looks on their faces with glee and the thought almost makes me giddy.

"Okay, are we done here?" Dabi asks.

A bunch of 'yes'es and 'yup's fill the basement.

"Alright then," Dabi grabs a leather jacket from on the wall and checks to make sure his keys are inside. Then he walks my way and grabs my arm.

"Time for you to go home," He says, moving me in front of him.

"But-"

"Now," His eyes narrow. He moves his head in a silent nudge, telling me to turn around and make my way upstairs.

The others watch us curiously, and Toga lets out a snicker at my expense.

"I'm jealous!" She calls after us. "Wish I had someone to drive me home!"

Dabi groans, nudging me to keep moving.

"Bye guys," I wave back at them from halfway up the steps. "I'll see you tomorrow!"

They all wave warmly and I can't help thinking how grateful I am that they trusted me with this.

It feels so weird emerging out of Dabi's office like this, from a secret path that leads deep under the building. But Dabi simply presses another tile in the walls, and the entrance reseals itself, as though it never existed.

We make our way to his car, and I hurry to catch up to him. The height difference certainly doesn't help.

He unlocks the car and slides into the driver's seat. I follow into the passenger's seat and shift awkwardly in my place.

"Where do you live?" He asks as he readjusts his rearview mirror. No sooner had I told him the address, than he revved the engine and sped away from the Blaze.

The ride is quiet for a while. Regrettably so. Dabi hands me a box of disinfectants to wipe the blood off my hands. I wonder how many times he's had to do the same thing before coming into the office.

I fiddle with the hems of my shirts as I try to think of something to talk about. Dabi doesn't seem to be in as big of a rush to speak, his eyes darting from the rearview to the side mirrors periodically as we cruise down the mostly empty highway.

"Dabi?"

"Hm."

"When they said you were gone today, were you really in the basement the whole time?"

Dabi takes a moment to answer. "After I got back, yeah. Couldn't exactly walk through the front doors looking the way I did." He glances at me before switching lanes.

"Were you avoiding me?"

"Partly."

I nod. "Now that I know about the League, do you think you'd avoid me in a case like this again?"

"A case like this won't happen again."

"Okay." I respond quietly. "Cause you know I get worried."

Dabi seems to be deep in thought.

"You worry a lot for someone who's only met me a month ago."

I smile. "Well, of course. We're friends aren't we?"

Dabi spares me a look before switching lanes again. "Right." But he doesn't look like he fully believes me.

"You think you'll be able to handle your friend?" He changes the subject.

"Who, Aliyah? Of course! I told you, we're really good friends and she's the kind of person that loves gossiping anyway. It'll be a piece of cake."

He grunts. "Okay. Because to be honest, that's part of why I wanted you at the Blaze."

I don't know why hearing that makes me feel slightly sad, but it does. "The documentary?"

"Yeah. I mean you work in the media industry. You'd know about that stuff. People like Enji have the industry wrapped around their palms. When you told me he was cozying up to NNTV, I figured you'd be the person to handle all of that for me."

I nod. "So why haven't you asked me before today?" Come to think of it, he even sounded reluctant about agreeing.

"I don't know," He sighs. "Still not sure I want you mixed up with all of this."

I roll my eyes. "I'm not even a member, remember? I'm just getting information for you," I tease. "What's so dangerous about that?"

"That's what worries me," Dabi glances at me, his brows pulled together. "That's all you see it as."

"What am I supposed to see it as?"

"What it is," Dabi gets increasingly agitated, but he tries to keep himself calm. "I'm not sure you're taking this seriously enough, Rina. The closer you get to us, the more at risk you are. The more people that know you work for me, especially what kind of work," He looks dead serious. "The more danger you'll be in."

I roll my eyes. "But no one knows anything about you, Dabi. I've been here for a month and I'm only just finding out about all of this. And I'm sure there's much more I don't know. How would people outside of the League even find out?"

"Same way we find out shit about them. Lane's using his Todoroki connections to supply him with information and protection. They're good at what they do."

My mouth drops. "You mean the Todorokis know about you?"

"Well," Dabi's jaw hardens. "They think they do."

I wait for him to say more, but he leaves it at that. We ride the rest of the distance in silence.

Once we pull up in front of my apartment complex, I try to put a smile on my face.

"Thanks Dabi." I tell him as I unlock the door.

He nods without looking at me. "See you tomorrow."

Those words trigger me immediately and I let go of the handle.

"Don't say that."

Dabi looks confused.

"You said that yesterday and had no intention of seeing me." I cross my arms. "You broke your promise."

"Don't be dramatic, no one says that shit as a promise."

"See you tomorrow means I'll see you tomorrow," I tell him seriously. "Otherwise, just say goodbye or something else."

He leans his head forward against the steering wheel and sighs. "It's just a stupid phrase, you're overthinking it."

I frown.

"See you tomorrow," He gives up. But still, I don't leave.

"I mean it!" He says. "I. Will. See. You. Tomorrow. Good enough?"

I grin. "Mhm, thank you!" I lean over to give him a quick hug before I leave, and he immediately recoils, like my body was made of ice.

"Handsy, aren't you," He mutters, craning his neck to look at me, without getting too close.

I pull away.

"Always have to ruin the moment, don't you," I counter, slightly disappointed. I turn to open the door, and suddenly feel him pull me back in.

"How do you do that?" His voices comes out low and raspy.

I look into his eyes. "Do what?"

There's that frustration in his eyes again.

"Fucking making me feel bad about shit I'd never fucking feel bad about." He growls.

The way he says it makes me blush.

"Cut that shit out."

"Yes sir," I mumble.

He leans his head back.

Then, he hesitantly opens his arms.

I shake my head, pulling my purse over my shoulder again. "Not gonna force you to do something you don't want to do."

I open the door this time, and just as I'm about to step out of his car, he pulls my arm again - harder this time, and I fall back into the bend of his arm.

My heart is pounding faster. I shake my hair from my face to get a better look at Dabi in the dark.

"Why are you so much fucking work," He mutters, his face inches away from mine. I swallow.

He leans forward to hug me closer to his chest. The leather jacket feels surprisingly smooth against my cheek, and my hand finds the back of his seat to balance myself, careful of coming near his wound. He holds me to him for a few long breaths and I smile against his chest, knowing he can't see me right now.

When we pull away, I look at his face once more. But Dabi avoids my gaze.

"You don't have to play along with me," I tell him, a teasing smile on my lips. "I'll only expect more from you next time."

"See you tomorrow," He mumbles, still without facing me. His foot is on the brakes but he's already pulling the gear shift into Drive.

And then, just before I leave for good and with no time to think this through -

I press my lips on his cheek.

Dabi's eyes widen immediately and he looks at me in alarm. "What-"

"Bye Dabi!" I wave with a laugh as I hurry out of his car. I run to the door of my building, grateful for the dark to hide my red cheeks.

Dabi remains in front of the building for a moment, his head still turned my way in shock.

I close the door behind me but hurry to the window, peeking the corner of my head out just in time to catch him shaking his head and rubbing a tired hand across his eyes.

There's no way to describe the relief and warmth in my chest, when he eventually pulls out of his spot.

But just before he can drive off, I swear I feel him smirk at the window.

As if he can hear the adrenaline thrumming in my veins.

[lizzybeth1986]

Quick Thoughts on DD Book 1 Chapter 5

• Content Warning: There are references to slut shaming while speaking about opera singers, and I speak about executions in the Hamid scene (I've not added grisly details or anything, but to me what I have included does sound a little macabre). I don't know if those warrant a warning, but I'd like to err on the side of caution and ensure that anyone comfortable with that knows this before they make the decision to proceed.

• Okay on with the QT!

• Why hello there, fancy hot looking Ottoman prince dude.

• Looks like not one but both of my MCs will be living the thot life.

• Apologies for the huge delay guys. There was a LOT to unpack this chapter, and it took me a while to actually explore, confirm my research and get a clear idea overall of how I wanted to approach this one. I'm hoping once TRR ends I can get these babies out earlier.

• You know what I realised? The Lady Grandma LIKES a sassy bitch. There are several times this chapter she's actually been more approving of my headstrong Marianne than she has been of my more mild-mannered Florence. See all of this:

She's mostly approving of this, however, when Henrietta is the recipient of this behaviour, but there are also points where she appreciates the MC's candor (if she chooses to show it) such as if the MC refers to the art of the fan as "ridiculous". If there is one thing that consistently gets on Dominique's nerves, it is occasions where the MC might speak of herself and her former background negatively, mostly out of annoyance because it shows she hasn't comfortably settled into her role yet, and Dominique needs the MC to do so if Edgewater is to stay within in the family and bloodline.

• Also I love the subtle streak of independence we get to see in Annabelle. She is someone who is doing what is expected of her, someone who tries to make the best of her circumstances the only way she knows how, but she is also refreshingly open about how stressful it is for her to go down this path, even in her free scenes. She is also playful and mischievous and doesn't take herself too seriously, which makes a lot of her scenes a joy to do.

• I also really really liked the option where you tell her she's the one you want to marry, and her reaction is both a disbelief that such a dream could come true alongside a receptiveness to the idea. It's soft and sweet and beautiful.

• So we start out with a crash course on the nobility we'll meet in London (Alfred Halloway, whose daughter Felicity is debuting this season, and the Barrymore family, who are related to the Halloways by marriage). Only this time, Annabelle wants to be a snarky little boss and fill the MC in on all the juicy gossip that Lady Grandmother won't give her.

• Lady Grandmother: Alfred Holloway is the viscount of Lochdale. His daughter, Felicity, will be coming from her estate at Bellington Hall to make her debut this season.

Miss Parsons: Alfred Holloway is an arrogant prig who looks like an Easter ham studded with cloves.

(For the record, this is what a clove-studded Easter ham seems to look like:

Holy shit Annabelle you savage af)

Lady Grandmother: Miss Holloway's family is also tied by marriage to the Earl of Barrymore...

Miss Parsons: Oh, avoid the Earl of Barrymore. His bed has more traffic than Drury Lane!

Annabelle here must be referring to the crowd that tends to flock around the Theatre Royal, Drury Lane, which was popular as a source of entertainment for its plays and had a seating capacity of 3000 people.

• The free scene with Annabelle is important because it eases us gently into the main themes of her scene later on. The women get to speak about the whole concept of a "marriage market", and straight off the bat Annabelle lets us know how uncomfortable she is with having to go through a wedding to another man.

• She also speaks about what else - besides the fact that Harry was her closest friend - about his death affected her. Having been promised to Harry, Annabelle didn't have to go through the rigamarole of finding a husband. She had learned to settle with the idea of being married to someone who she knew and liked at least, if not loved. It's sad to us modern readers now that Annabelle would have to settle for less than passion or love, but back then I don't think she could have imagined a better deal. And now...and now she will have to settle for even less than what she had with Harry. This was a pretty neat way of easing us into the larger conversation she has with us in her diamond scene.

• A few days pass, and Briar is now helping us get ready for the trip to London. You have the option of encouraging her romance with Mr Woods, which...cmon. They cute 😊

•

Ooh so our House Colours are navy blue and gold! (considering that the Earl's default outfit itself is navy blue, I should have figured that would be a house colour). It's nice but MY NECK WHERE IS MY NECK.

Did You Know: that up until the middle of the 19th century, men's and women's riding habits were largely made by men in a distinctively masculine style. This is what Candice Hern's article "Regency Habits, Overview" on her website Regency World, says:

"Though the style and cut of riding habits changed with time and fashion, they continued to be tailored in a masculine style throughout the 17th and 18th centuries and into the early 19th century. In La Belle Assemblée in 1815, we read that: “Habits have, ever since they were first brought into fashion, been considered as decidedly calculated to give even the most delicate female a masculine appearance, and the wits of our grandmothers’ days were unmercifully severe on the waistcoat, cravat, and man’s hat which were then the indispensible appendages to a habit.”"

•

YOU'RE NOT COMING WTF DAD NO.

• WHO KNOWS WHAT THEY'LL DO TO YOU WHILE I'M GONE.

• I'm having a sinking feeling about leaving my old dad around in this house while Henrietta is still there, Grandma had better be his bodyguard (or maybe not. Cordonians seem to have weird ideas of what constitutes a successful bodyguard *COUGHCOUGH Mara and Bastien COUGHCOUGH*).

• Like most of the fandom I have a feeling the Earl will die sooner than we think. @i-dream-so-i-write once mentioned that it could well be towards the end of the book, and I think that's a fitting dramatic turn this book would take into the next. I'm going to miss the hell outta this guy though 😟

• Henrietta sent Mr Marlcaster and Miss Sutton ahead of time so they can screw things up for us, so we will need to butter them up like no tomorrow when we reach there, apparently.

• Hello Luke! It's been exactly one chapter!

• Kinda like the bonding the MC and Luke have with regards to the horse. Their first real conversation began with Clover, so it is fitting that their bonding continues over her at least for their initial interactions.

• Aww man, Henrietta wants Clover the horse to be sold and they give you a diamond option to keep her, name her and get extra scenes with her. Florence calls her Moonstone, Marianne calls her Pepper. Moonstone suits Florence's particular sense of whimsy, and I figured Marianne would want something short and snappy and it helped that Luke gave the horse some salt before the diamond option came up 😂

It's a fairly nice scene I guess, but it drives me batty because this book is already taking astronomical sums of money early on in the book, and people are already beginning to get frustrated. Even TRR, which is a pretty expensive book, took more than half the book before they pushed forward the option to buy the Derby horse. It just is beginning to feel like too much too soon at this point.

• Of all the free scenes this chapter, my favourite has to be the exchange among the four in the picnic en route London.

I found this particularly interesting because all of these people, so far, have been outside the rigors of the Season in some way or other. Briar is the most outside of this system of doing things: she has grown up completely out of it and will probably always struggle to understand the way things work within the gentry. Luke has spent years in that environment (that of the gentry) so he knows some of it, but he still is and will always be an outsider. Annabelle has grown up in this environment and is perhaps the closest to it, but has never had to take active part due to her association with Harry and the Edgewater Estate. And the MC straddles both these worlds. She is an heiress, part of this high society, but she was born in and more familiar with Briar's worldview. And I love how this scene captures all this in just a few bits of dialogue.

• Also Luke's sensible response to Annabelle's question and Briar being a teasing little imp is super cute, I will fight anyone who disagrees with me on this 😂😂😂

• So many gems nestled in Annabelle's scene guys I can't even. There's so much going on in this one. So much.

•

The main thing this scene does is to - without a doubt - establish Annabelle as a closeted lesbian. She's still at the stage where she's aware and finds it odd that she doesn't hold any affection for any man, that the idea itself of marriage frustrates her, and her growing confusion that she's now feeling for a woman all that she "should" be feeling for a man. There are points where she almost welcomes it, like the scene I mentioned earlier, but she still is clearly struggling.

The MC has three ways of responding to this - one where she misses the point completely and says "you haven't found the right man yet" (Marianne, unfortunately), another where she states that she "understands" (which is left open - either it is a gesture of support from an ally, or it is from someone who understands her dilemma to...well...some extent. Florence is the second. She is bi, so her "I understand" was basically "I've fallen for some men sure but I also have a hard time figuring out what my sexuality is"). My favourite is the response where the MC speaks of facing a similar dilemma in her life and is an excellent choice if your MC is also a lesbian. I couldn't use this one for Florence or Marianne because it didn't ring true for either of them, but I did see the screenshots on tumblr and it's quite poignant.

Did You Know: Lesbian/sapphic relationships and sex were not as much seen as illegal as invisible...and this was an attitude that a later monarch, Queen Victoria, would uphold as well, refusing to sign a legislation to criminalize it by insisting that "women do not do such things". Obviously as we all know, she couldn't be any more wrong. Today we know of famous lesbian women of the Regency as Anne Lister, owner of Shibden Hall, and the Ladies of Llangollen - two women from Ireland named Eleanor Butler and Sarah Ponsonby, who had a romantic relationship for over 50 years. Gail Eastwood, in an article titled "Queer in the Regency: a Slice of Once-Hidden LGBT History" says:

Defying their families, the two established an estate in Wales, called Plas Newydd, rather than enter into marriages with men they did not love. Though they incurred significant debt in order to have a staff, they survived on the generosity of friends until a fascinated Queen Charlotte convinced King George III to grant them a pension.

Plas Newydd became something of a haven for writers during the Regency era, especially since the couple living there could afford to keep it. 

Part of me wonders if elements of this story may be found in the Annabelle x MC route. Or like Anne Lister, who was well-endowed enough financially that she could refrain from marriage and have relationships with women. Maybe, or - given the limitations of having to chart out a storyline that will suit every LI - maybe not. Whatever it is, I'd be very interested in finding out how they'll handle the MC's romance with Annabelle.

• The second most interesting thing is Annabelle speaking about her poetry, and the restrictions her father has kept on her talent. She mentions him looking down on women's poetry as being "all bad rhymes and flowery sentiment", and that - in keeping with the times - he prefers Romantic Age poets such as Wordsworth, and that famous influence on Romanticism, Shakespeare. If we choose to ask her about showing us her poetry, she tells us her writing is "of a...delicate nature" (get it, girl! 😀) and if we choose to encourage her instead, the MC makes references to Mary Wollstonecraft, whose ideas of gender equality were considered radical for the times, and who is seen as one of the earliest feminist icons.

Did You Know: that in a time when female education was mainly geared to prepare women for their domestic roles, Mary Wollstonecraft advocated for women to receive an education that would help them survive beyond the home and the marriage market, stating that the one real barrier in the way of gender equality was the disparity in the education women received compared to men. She says, "this homage to women’s attractions has distorted their understanding to such an extent that almost all the civilized women of the present century are anxious only to inspire love, when they ought to have the nobler aim of getting respect for their abilities and virtues".

Her daughter, Mary Shelley, would write the famous novel Frankenstein in 1818, two years following the events of Desire and Decorum.

• Within this scene also lies a little tidbit that will hold some importance in Chapter 7: the MC tells Annabelle that her mother used to sing in the opera:

So this could be the root of some of the snarky remarks Henrietta makes about the MC's mother. She has close pretty darn close to calling her a "prostitute" on more than one occasion, and her comment after the MC sang along with Annabelle in chapter 3 about how it was "no wonder" that the MC could sing, given her mother's profession.

Did You Know: Opera singers had a very different reputation in the Regency era, not all of it very positive. Shana Galen, who is described as a Regency adventure author, speaks about how opera singers were viewed at the time: Of course, it was perfectly acceptable for a young lady to show her talents on the pianoforte or to sing in front of a small group of family and friends, but performing on the stage at Drury Lane or Covent Garden were frowned upon.

Female performers, especially, were shunned by society. One example of this sort of attitude was seen in the ridicule faced by a singer named Dorothea Jordan, who had an long-running affair with a Duke, bore him ten children, and who was the subject of a "satirical cartoon that showed her in her bedroom, gazing adoringly at a duchess’ coronet, which she hopes someday to wear by marrying her lover. A map on the wall purports to show the route from “Strolling Lane” (i.e. prostitution) through “Old Drury Common” all the way to “Derbyshire Peak.” A genealogical chart of the nobility lies on her dressing table, and her bed-hangings are crowned by a Phrygian cap, symbol of the French Revolution. The latter is intended to ridicule her pretensions to nobility; as a common woman, let alone an actress, she should know her place" ("Glimpse at Opera during Jane Austen's Lifetime" by Maggi Andersen, for the blog Historical Hearts).

• Luke's scene on the other hand is lighter in content but is important if you look at it from the viewpoint of establishing his role in the MC's life before they reach London. As a neutral friend, he is happy to serve her and considers her a vast improvement over Countess Henrietta. He tells her that she possesses what Henrietta lacks, understands something that Henrietta would never understand in several lifetimes: that looking down on people she believes as her 'inferiors' will leave her at a disadvantage eventually.

But if you hint at having feelings for Luke, the entire mood of the scene changes, and you see him feeling torn between his growing affections for her and his recognition that any relationship beyond the professional will end badly for them all.

• The thing with both Luke and Annabelle is that to not fall for them is to maintain the status quo. So even if there is an element of attraction, the MC not reciprocating does not tip the delicate balance that governs their lives at Edgewater over. But when she does...it gives rise both to moments of joy...and moments of fear.

• Ooh I love the animation for the train!!

I mean...just...look at this!

• The MC and Briar get to react in awe to their first sight of London before they get down from the carriage. We find out that we're pretty much stranded on the streets of London and no one has come to pick us up. Gee thanks, stepbro.

• Not gonna lie, but seeing Prince Hamid's shocked!face on his full-body shot made me giggle a little.

• He introduces himself as Imperial Prince Hamid, cousin to "his Imperial Majesty Mahmoud the Second, Caliph of Islam, Sultan of the Ottoman Empire, and Custodian of the Two Mosques (the last especially was used in royal titles for many Islamic rulers, and refers to the Al-Haram Mosque (al-Masjid al-Ḥarām) of Mecca, and the Prophet's Mosque (Al-Masjid An-Nabawī) of Medina).

• In a sense he kinda reminds me of Kamilah: he is a fictional character positioned as being related to an actual historical figure, so they will give us plenty of background about the countries they were from (Egypt and Turkey [Istanbul in this case], respectively) but keep the actual historical figure at a distance. Making the fictional character a cousin and a person of an important position in that court is a smart choice to make: they're important enough to represent the royals of the times but distanced enough that it doesn't seem unnatural if they aren't that close and ergo can't tell you personal details about said historical figure.

• Did You Know: Sultan Mahmud II (the cousin Hamid mentions) was seen as quite a progressive ruler of his times. 1829 onwards, he tried to bring many, many reforms into the Ottoman empire, including (according to the Encyclopedia Britannica article on him) "adopting the cabinet system of government, provided for a census and a land survey, and inaugurated a postal service (1834), introducing compulsory primary education, opening a medical school, and sending students to Europe. In addition, the sultan’s right to confiscate the property of deceased officials was abolished, and European dress was introduced". It looks like some elements of this way of thought could be reflected in Hamid, from his talk of diplomacy in his diamond scene.

• Hamid not only positions himself as a bit of an outsider to England but also as a man who travels: talk of travelling and seeing the world is his ice-breaker when they get into the carriage. This will allow him not only to help familiarize the MC with London, and his home Constantinople, but also give her (and us) a view of what the world looks like at this point. For instance, if the MC speaks of even London is unfamiliar territory to her, he mentions the Blue Mosque, the construction of which was completed exactly 200 years prior to the events of the story.

• The other very essential point of this scene is to provide a bit of a parallel to Luke, but also as a counterpoint. Luke is disadvantaged both by his class and his race - ergo he has a very layered perspective. Hamid has privileges, but he is also aware of and in some ways used to the reception he gets in England, and has figured out how he wants to respond. Both Luke and Hamid find their ways to cope with their situation, and the MC is allowed - according to the ethnicity chosen for her - to relate to both.

Florence, for instance, relates heavily to this as someone is visibly a foreigner even though England is the only home she has ever known. Marianne does not fully understand this, but she can tell him like any decent human being would that she thinks it's wrong of people to treat him that way.

• Just prior to this the two manage to see the Tower of London, notorious for the imprisonment and execution of many, many people including royals and nobles. There is a short but rather poignant conversation on the "many people tortured and murdered over who had the right to sit on the throne" (among the people executed, you will find names like Anne Boleyn, Thomas More, Lady Jane Grey, Guy Fawkes and Walter Raliegh).

• Did You Know: For a long long time in England, executions were seen as a bit of a spectator sport. The more unusual the criminal, the bigger the crowd. The Capital Punishment UK blog speaks of the kind of atmosphere usually present around the time:

In many counties, executions were held on market days to enable the largest number of people to see them and school parties would be made to attend as a moral lesson, something which is certainly recorded as happening at Lancaster Castle.  Public houses and gin shops always did a very brisk trade on a hanging day.  

However, attitudes towards executions experienced a shift around the late 18th-early 19th century, and by 1864 Parliament established a Royal Commission on Capital Punishment, with a declaration that executions would take place inside the prisons rather than in public.

I'm not sure if this was intentional, but possibly the MC's and Hamid's reactions to the tower may be reflective of their times.

• Interestingly, Annabelle is shown to look jealous if you've been romancing her, and giving you a sly grin if you're just friends. I quite liked that little touch. Luke meanwhile is a little less open about how he feels at this point: whether you're romancing him or not, he is described as "watching you carefully" during your exchange with Hamid.

• So Mr Marlcaster got the letter from the Duchess to send a groom for picking the MC, but didn't...as per his mother's demands, surely. But AT LEAST you should have been a little prepared to answer me in case I dropped by anyway, dude? Instead of just standing there and staring at me like a scandalized goldfish.

• Looks like Edmund is still going to try screwing things up for us, and we'll need to find a way to get him on our side. After all, we get relationship points with both him and Theresa Sutton, and Lady Grandmother did tell us we could find a way to get them to be with us rather than against us.

• I'm looking forward to Chapter 5...but it's Chapter 6 I REALLY want to see. We're going to learn a bit more about the MC's mother's background!

General Thoughts:

• OMG so much was there to unpack this chapter!! A lot of it to do with Annabelle and Hamid, and Luke has taken a bit of a backseat this chapter but I'm hoping that's a taster of what's to come in his case.

• Look I love this story but IT COSTS SO MUCH. WTF. Keeping Clover was a nice option but it really added nothing to this chapter and could have easily been shifted elsewhere. I want this book to do well. I'm happy with how they're writing it, the effort they're putting into their research and into their characters so far...and I would hate for it to not be appreciated because they made it so hard for people to get into the book by making it this expensive so early.

• Florence is going for Annabelle and Luke (leaning more towards Annabelle at this point), and Marianne for Hamid and Sinclaire (I'm not sure yet but Hamid is a very very strong contender!!). Who would have thought I'd have my first polyam MCs in a book on Regency Era England!! Who woulda thunk!

• Annabelle particularly intrigues me at this point. She is clearly established as both inside and outside of this system, and vocally critical of it at least to the MC. She writes about her desires against the chargin of her father, and states that she doesn't want to merely settle into a 'safe' relationship like her mother, not unless she can know and trust that person (which is mostly why she agreed to the match with Harry even if she didn't love him). She is confused, and open and honest about her confusion. I really think the foundation of this character is immensely strong, but they really need to keep working on her and not just drop their efforts on her halfway. And I've seen that happen enough times with female LIs to be afraid.

• At this point, we now have three male LIs (one Master of Horse who is African-American, one family-approved eligible bachelor and one prince of the Ottoman Empire) and one female love interest. Is there space for one more confirmed female LI? I sure hope so but at the same time I don't want keep my hopes up.

However...IF the plan is to keep just one female LI, then they'd better do a pretty darn phenomenal job of her. If you're not going to give wlw players other options it's only fair to make sure the only option is given really, really good writing - consistently. They're doing a good job so far...but there's a long long way to go before I can fully trust PB to do justice to her.

• That's it for now! On to Chapter 6!

• Tagged: @boneandfur @liamraines @thespiritpanda @alanakusumastan @ernestsinclairs @private-investigator-nazario @bcdollplace @thedepthsremember @mcbangle @queenodysseia @novaelaras

If you'd like to be tagged on these QTs, do let me know! 😀

[lost-your-memory]

here's a prompt I'd love to see you write! Kara is sent as a reporter to "investigate" Earth-2, and while there she meets her doppelganger and the two really hit it off, going from an interview to drinks to a night spent together. Afterwards Kara tells this whole experience to Cat. Doesn't have to be angsty :)

It was an interesting prompt and I cheated a little to be able to stay coherent with the whole universe but I hope it suits you anyway ! 

“New topic Danvers, you’re going to Earth 2 and I want a five pages article about the difference between our world and the second one.”Snapper is even grumpier than ever and Kara simply nods. She thinks that sometimes, her new boss standards are even higher than the ones Miss Grant used to set. He’s not even looking at her, walking around his bullpen and moving post-its around on his board, purposely ignoring her as she tags along, waiting for the rest of the instructions she knows he’s going to bark at some point.“5 points, top. I want politics analysis, demographic statistics, ecological report and a general cultural background, that you can measure to our world with relevant data.”His voice is raw and raspy and he’s walking even faster. She takes mental notes of everything and then she frowns, slightly.“And the last point?”She thinks she sees the shadows of a smirk on the man’s lips but it’s gone as fast as it appeared and he finally looks at her, an incredulous sparkle shining in his narrowed eyes.“Do keep up, Danvers. I want to know if Earth two has a Supergirl or some kind of superhero to protect National City. If you can find out more information about others like her in the world, that’s even better but if you can’t, focus on National City.”With that, he’s stepping into the elevator and pulling his glasses down on his nose to look at a bunch of papers he’s just picked up. The doors close on him and she sighs.Her phone chimes to let her know she has a text and she pulls it out. It’s from the man who just left and she groans.Snapper : I want it for yesterday, Danvers.

—She uses Cisco’s device to travel to Earth 2, after a short visit to the first one to have a movie night with the Allen-West & Co little makeshift family.She lands in a place she immediately remembers.It’s the deserted alley behind Noonan’s and it’s a few minutes away from the CatCo Plaza. She likes the familiarity of it, the strong scent of coffee swirling in the air, mixed with the fresh dough of cinnamon rolls and the unique smell of boiled milk. She smiles and takes a deep, deep breath before adjusting her outfit and pulling her glasses higher up on her nose.She’s here as Kara Danvers, reporter for the CatCo magazine and she really hopes that for once, she won’t have to be Supergirl.—As it turns out, Earth two doesn’t have a Supergirl.She’s at Noonan’s to jostle a few points on her notepad so she can have a clear line of what she needs to do and all the information she has to gather when the images on the muted TV above the counter captures her attention.Her jaw all but drops and she stares, dumbfounded, at the face of her sister, displayed on the screen with a bright caption underneath.National City’s champion engaged in a deadly combat with the Last Child of Daxam.She almost chokes on her coffee when she sees the face of Alex’s lookalike opponent. She could have guessed from the title on the caption but it still takes her by surprise and she notices the differences. He’s smaller, larger and his eyes are as black as a moonless night.She’s at loss as to what to do, feeling terrified for that woman who looks exactly like Alex but who isn’t her sister but soon enough, the fight is over and the Daxamite is being dragged by a team of men in black. She squints, hoping to identify them as DEO but they’re gone too fast for her to make out anything helpful.The camera focuses on the woman who saved the city and zooms, capturing a smile and a pair of soulful, shining eyes as she effortlessly hovers a couple of inches above the ground. She’s flying but there’s no cape billowing behind her and the black of her suit is sparkling under the flashing lights. It looks like it’s made of some kind of flexible metal that follows every single one of her movements and there’s no crest on her chest, no visible sign of any kind.She tilts her head to the side in a gesture that is all too familiar to Kara and then, up, up, up and away she flies.The woman doesn’t seem to have a superhero identity and the news only refers to her as National City’s champion.It’s odd and strange but then again, it’s a whole new world, Kara thinks.—She goes from strange discovery to heart-wrenching tragedy, in this strange universe she’s supposed to investigate.CatCo exists but it’s not a media empire, it’s a production company that produces movies, TV shows and some very prestigious documentaries. Kara finds out that it’s even bigger than the Walt Disney company, in her world and she’s stunned when she learns it’s been created by one talented Cat Grant, art prodigy and business genius.She’s thrown off by the unsettling familiarity of all those differences.She derives from her official researches to dig a little more and she finds out Lucy Lane is a well-known reporter in Metropolis and about to marry President’s daughter. She smiles at that but then her heart weeps a little when she scrolls down on Lucy’s biography. It says Lois Lane died in a shooting but there are no details. No title for Lois, no explanation surrounding her death and Kara digs around a little.She discovers Lois Lane was the leader of a rebellious, terrorist group that tried to have the president Luthor assassinated. She resisted when the army went to take her down and they had to shoot her.It makes her heart bleed a little and she weeps even more when she learns that Lois’s fiancé, Clark Kent, is still purging his sentence in Metropolis’s prison.Apparently, Barry wasn’t kidding when he told her Earth 2 was the one with the bad doppelgangers.—She stumbles upon a robbery in National City main avenue, as she exits the public library, and she realizes how much Barry’s words were true.She’s walking in a small crowd when she hears the gunshots and she has to force herself to act like a civilian instead of listening to her instincts. She runs to go hide herself behind a car and only then she risks a glance towards the stage of the action.She stares in bewilderment, thinking the universe, in every earth that exist, has a funny sense of humor.The doppelgangers of Winn and James are here, shooting in the air to clear a path towards the fancy shops full of jewelry and pretty, rich things. They are carrying fancy technological weapons but they use the common one to shoot and scare people away.The police’s sirens howl in the distance and there’s a familiar windy sound, followed by the crack of a superforce hitting the ground. National City’s champion is here, tall and strong and Kara is blown away by this woman who looks so much like her sister, back on Earth 38.The combat is weird and unfair as evil Winn and James are using ice and fire against the city’s hero and Kara realizes that National City’s champion doesn’t have heat vision or icing breath.In the end, the evil robbers drives away and Alex’s lookalike takes off into the night, leaving the police to deal with the mess.Kara’s left staring at the street and the words are out of her mouth before she can even think them.“You have got to be kidding me.”—She sees herself.She stares at this Earth 2 version of Kara Danvers, climbing out of a police car, all geared up like a cop and dangling a messing ponytail around as she barks orders and directives.It doesn’t stop just there because now she’s picking up on a familiar voice, rich and deep and with some well hidden accents of Spanish and soon enough, there’s a version of Maggie Sawyer following her Earth-2 version of herself.Her head spins and her mind goes blank for a few seconds, because it’s too much to take in.—“Whow. You look just like my partner here. It’s … kind of creepy actually.”She lets out a dry chuckle at Maggie’s words.There’s one thing she never realized about crime scenes, it’s the protocol and procedures the cops have to follow through. As Supergirl, she’s used to leaving before the dust of the fight has even settled but now that she’s trying to act like a normal civilian, she has to give a statement and to wait for a cop to let her go.It’s embarrassing. She didn’t think this thing through and now, she sees the Earth-2 version of herself approaching from behind Maggie, who is still staring at her with awe and wonder in her dark, chocolate eyes.“Hi. Are you done with …”She meets deep, deep blue eyes and the world stops for a while.She’s looked at herself in a mirror before but this, this is beyond words and she couldn’t even try to describe the mixed feelings that makes her whole body vibrate and tingle.It’s unnerving and fascinating at the same time, to see a perfect reflection of herself have a personality, an attitude and emotions that are not hers.They stare at each other for what seems like a whole eternity but then, Maggie’s voice comes between them.“Hi, Kar’. Miss Teschmacher here was just giving me her statement but to be honest, I was just too struck by how much she looks like you. It’s scary, really.”Kara tries not to wince at the familiarity between the two cops. It’s already so weird to look at her clone, she doesn’t need to know what is happening between Earth-2 Kara and Earth-2 Maggie.“It’s … fascinating.”Kara almost gasps because even her clone’s inflections are the same as hers. It’s deep but a little sweet and even though it lacks her usual sunny disposition, she can imagine that being called on a crime scene can erode the optimism, on the long term.“Uh, yes, kind of, I guess” She stutters a little because really, that whole situation feels entirely surreal and she hopes she can escape it right away.“Alright, Miss Teschmacher, you’re free to go. We have your number if we need more information.” Maggie says before turning on her heels to go talk to a rookie.Kara let out a relieved sigh and wanders away.—She jumps when her phone, her Earth-38 phone rings.It’s a reflex, something she’s acquired along all those years working for Cat Grant, she picks up.The voice at the other end of the line is hers and for a whole minute, she can’t reply. Her clone asks, almost shyly, if they can meet for a drink and Kara doesn’t even know what that means but she’s curious and a little dizzy too, so she says yes.—It goes incredibly smoothly.She meets her other self in a bar and after a brief moment of panic when she recognizes Hank Henshaw as the bartender, she sits in one side of a booth. Sat across the polished table, facing her, is that improbable version of herself with deep, deep blue eyes and a smile brighter than the sun itself.She’s wearing a pair of ripped off jeans and a worn-out light Grey sweater with the faded black and bold NYPD letters plastered on her chest and she notices, for the first time, that her clone doesn’t wear glasses.That’s why the blue is so deep and bright and free, in her sparkling eyes. It’s like watching the sun shines over an ever clear ocean.“I know it’s unusual and maybe not very professional but I wanted to see you again. I’m … drawn to you in a way I can’t even explain.”Kara opens her mouth but there’re no words coming out of it and she just looks at her clone. She’s scanning that face that is exactly like hers, up to the scar above her eyes and the very slight curl around her lips. It’s deranging and yet fascinating.“That’s … That’s okay. I’m actually curious. I’ve never … I mean, I can’t believe I’ve never seen you before. You’re … me.” It’s an incoherent ramble but the local version of Kara Danvers doesn’t seem to mind. She smiles and waves a waitress to order a bourbon.She shakes her head and simply asks for a club soda, not wanting to drink, not when the whole world is already spinning on itself and she’s feeling so dizzy, so unsteady.Earth-2 Kara arches a brow but doesn’t push it.—Three hours later, she’s drunk and laughing openly with the woman everyone else assumes is her twin sister.Three times, people came to ask if they were sisters, awe and wonder clear on their face.It turns out, she doesn’t have her high tolerance to alcohol here.She knows she has all her other powers, she tested her hearing and supervision when she’s taken off her glasses under the pretext of cleaning them, but she’s vulnerable to the effect of alcohol.That’s how she ended up drinking sweet, sugary cocktails while her clone self lined up the double Bourbon.It’s easy and it shouldn’t be, to talk to that version of herself she ignores everything about.—It’s one AM and she’s drunk, she’s drunk and she’s naked in a bed she doesn’t know.The body atop of herself however, is familiar in a way she can’t fully explain. It’s herself but it’s not her and she’s spinning in lust, want and desire. There’s a pang of guilt tugging at her heart but it goes away when fingers dig in her flesh and caresses her center.—She jolts awake, sweat drenching her whole body, eyes wide and breathing shallow, ragged.There’s a good number of eyes on her and she looks around in a frantic, desperate way to chase away the reminiscence of something she can’t even begin to think about.She’s at the DEO, safely tucked under the sun bed. It was all a dream, nothing was real. Nothing happened.She passes out under the weight of her relief.—“You’re telling me that, when you were in your weird coma, you just dreamed of another earth, one where you … slept with your doppelganger?”Cat’s voice sounds both incredulous and amused. Kara winces and hides her face under a pillow, groaning from underneath it. It’s not funny and she stills feels a little nauseous about the whole experience, even knowing nothing was real, that it was all the fruit of her coma-imagination.“It’s not funny.” She groans and she smiles against the sheet when she feels Cat’s hand strokes the muscles of her back.It’s been five days since she woke up but she’s still a little weak and vulnerable and she needs a daily dose of sun-powered rest.Cat’s been there the whole time, making a scene in the DEO lobby when agents tried to take her away.It was Alex, who pleaded her cause to Hank and the martian finally, finally caved and let Cat stay. Of course, the CEO of one of the most powerful media empire of the world had to sign a ridiculous amount of papers and confidentiality agreements but she did it without a fuss.Now, they were back at Cat’s place and Kara finally had brought herself to tell the whole dream to the other woman.Who was clearly struggling to get her mind around the story here.“You slept with yourself, Alex was some kind of Supergirl, Winn and James were Bonnie and Clyde, Maggie was your partner because right, you were a cop and I was … a female Walt Disney?” The last words are sharp and disdainful and it makes Kara laugh.“Yes, a very loved one if I remember correctly.” She does, remember. Everything. It haunts her nights and sometimes even her days too.“Ugh. Lionel Luthor was president, greater Lane was the actual Lois and about to marry Lena Luthor when your cousin was in prison for having tried to kill the president and Lois …” Cat trails off and there’s something strangled in her voice when she pronounces that name. She doesn’t say it out loud often, Kara remembers. It’s loaded, it’s a wound that didn’t heal correctly.“Can you please stop talking about this? I dread the day I will have to tell Alex about it… I will never, never hear the end of it.” She groans again and the sound of Cat’s laugh fills the room. It helps, that Cat is taking it with humor. Mostly.“Alright, Darling.”Kara pokes her head out of under the pillow and throws a suspicious look at Cat Grant, who is not famous for giving up when asked.“Oh, don’t worry. I’m not done with that chapter but for now … I would rather focus on something else.” Cat says and her voice is low and husky, lined with desire as her hand wanders across Kara’s skin.Kara smiles and shuffles closer to Cat to ask for a kiss. She’s a breath away from her lover’s mouth when she hears the question.“Wait, did you sister really kill that daxamite man-child you’re calling a friend?”Kara groans and makes her shut up with a deep, messy and hungry kiss.