#she should nawt be looking for marriage

[mybloodrunsrad]

Chelsea is soooo unwell

[wintersera]

sick and twisted || stepsibling g!p winrina x virgin!freader

notes: making a comeback. sorry anon for the long ass delay, but i also merged it with another ask bc i thought it would work well together. do NAWT ask why i took so long- i was going thru it 😭😭

cw: porn with plot, stepcest/pseudo incest, noncon -> dubcon, g!p dom winrina, virgin!reader, corruption, use of cuffs, oral (giving), blackmail, biting/marking, creampie, gagging, degredation, slapping, family issues, arguments, mentions of divorce.

wc 3.9k

if you told jimin and minjeong that they would have another step-sibling in their life they would scoff at you, then laugh and say that’s not possible… then scoff in your face again.

yet here they were moving into another house their father bought for you and your mother.

isn’t that fun?

jimin, the actual biological child, was born and raised with a hot headed mother and poor excuse of a father. living with the two was hell for her, dealing with her mothers bull shittery almost every damn day.. and the absence of her father always led to her mother lashing out at her and never him. longer down the line of their shitty marriage, the father decided to pull the trigger and divorce her for good. maybe it was money issues? maybe it was something else? jimin didnt like to pry and she was glad she left it like that.

minjeong was the child of a broke, whorish and shitty woman. the marriage between jimin's father and minjeong’s mother actually lasted quite a while… to their surprise. who knew another horrid woman in this rich fuck of a man’s life would actually do some good to the both of them.

they ended up acting like they knew each other from day one- like i kid you not, they were inseparable. even after the divorce of their father and mother they still stayed together, obviously choosing their dad because god that man was rich as hell and they knew that they could use some privilege from it. not only that, but for some reason their dad loosened up a little, he actually became a much better person and worked on his self improvement, unlike minjeong’s mother who stayed a cheating BITCH … no wonder why their father divorced her sorry ass.

but beside the point. jimin, minjeong and their father arrived at the new mansion. somewhere secluded and somewhere breathtaking- only because your step father really thought your mother was the one and only woman for him.

jiminjeong, without prior notice to their fathers new found wife, and no knowledge of the womans daughter, were left shocked when they saw the two of you enter through the mansion’s doors.

your first impressions weren’t good at all… your mother looked and acted like- guess what?!! a bitch… and you? you seemed pretty decent at first, so jimin and minjeong didn’t really care. yeah, unfortunately they didn’t click with you, but they thought that they should give it some time. you were unfamiliar with the new environment and they knew it would cause crazy anxiety.

—

a couple months into the family and you and your mother finally started to act comfortably around the rest. it didn’t take long for you mother to start acting up though- frankly she opened up too much, as in, she started to become more and more of an asshole as the months went by. at first it started as simple requests from your step father. she would go around the house demanding him to buy this and that. her ego grew… and when i say grew, it inflated actually. nothing could stop her from being a prick, and unfortunately she influenced you to act like the same way.

she had a plan- she really didn’t love your step father. instead she was really just into it for the money. and of course, you knew that plan from the beginning. as much as you didn’t like your mother, the plan wasn’t half bad- deciding to stay with her was the right choice, well you thought so anyways. anything for money i guess.

the workload he had stressed your step father out so much and your mothers constant requests for money really didn’t help. berating him almost every day, sometimes she would go so far to the point of him having to lock himself in his office just so he could avoid her.

only 6 months of living together and she’s already driving him crazy? jimin and minjeong looked at each other in disbelief, surely you wouldn’t join in on the disruptive behaviour… right?

oh they were so wrong.

YOU-

you wanted the plan to go well too… you needed that cash. fuck your mother and everything, that cash meant more than your strained bond. you wanted it for yourself, so now it was your turn to fuck around and be a dick head.

doing everything in your power to get money from your step father, like your mother did. it started out all simple and sweet.. you know like casually asking for allowance, and since he was rich as fuck, allowance was usually something around 2k per ask. racking up the money somewhere in your room for yourself, you didn’t realise jimin and minjeong were staring at you through the crack of the door.

jimin carefully lowered herself to minjeong’s height, making sure you wouldn’t be able to hear an utter from her. whispering in her ear “what a waste… she’s pretty but she’s a money stealing prick”

somehow minjeong was calm about it, thinking you were just stashing it up because she knew you were previously broke. she’s been in that same situation, showing some sort of empathy towards you “i mean.. she hasn’t done any bad yet… well i hope she never does actually. i hope she’s not like her mom”

jimin scoffs “i doubt that”

the sound of something dropping on the floor caught their attention, you’d dropped a bag of some sort. their hearts beating out of their chests thinking that you had caught them watching you. thankfully you didn’t, uttering under a few curses under your breath and nothing else. sighing in relief, they had back to their respective rooms and called it a day.

that was until they heard you shouting downstairs after a couple of hours.

“fuck you mean you can’t give me any more money. aren’t you supposed to be my dad? you know, someone who cares for their children and shit”

jimin woke up first, creeping into minjeongs room and shaking her awake “…mmm… huh? what’s up”

“don’t be surprised, but i think y/n is arguing with our dad… told you she was like her mom”

sneaking their way downstairs, tiptoeing so they wouldn’t be heard. they notice their dad hunched over in the couch, his hands covering his face in.. anger? or sadness. they couldn’t tell.

“GOD- fuck you’re such a shit step dad… you know what fuck you” the step father being on the verge of tears, the way he balled up his fists, the way his face was red hot and the way he was biting down hard on his lip, you knew it was was working and you knew you were such a shit person for it, you were growing heated too- for some reason. mothers genetics you could say.

“you couldn’t keep your first wife, and you couldn’t keep your second wife?! and now you’re going to lose your third all because you can’t provide for your family like the good man you are.” you laughed in his face and clicked your tongue “ahhh it all makes sense now. you're a miserable excuse of a father and a poor excuse of a husband. you’re rich as hell i dont know why you can’t give me anymore money…”

“i-i.. i’m trying my best you know y/n” voice cracking “i’m doing my best to keep the family together… i just want us to be happy”

“yeah well you’re not doing a good job now are you? hell, you’re also a shitty example of a man too. go ahead and write those divorce papers. i’m sick of your shit”

with that, you walked back upstairs, jimin and minjeong running back up trying not to get caught.

you’d struck a nerve in them, witnessing you berate their dad knowing that he’s a changed man, made them vexed. jimin had been peering at your face, an obvious crease in her forehead and in between her brows made it obvious that she was planning something sick. minjeong had a cold and blank scowl.

they both gave each other knowing looks, a smirk on both of their faces… whatever they had in mind was not morally right, but they couldn’t care less.

—

sleeping soundly after the whole argument, glad that you could possibly get something out of it by the time you woke up, you failed to hear the sound of your lock being picked open.

jimin creeped towards your bed, gritting her teeth as she tried her very best not to punch you in the face. utter disgust was the one thing she was feeling, looking at you made her grimace. she found you pretty at first glance but after she witnessed you tear down her dad, her vision was shattered. even if she wanted to beat you up, she couldn’t, she wanted to defile you first. with shaky hands, she lifted the thick bed sheets off of your body, carefully stripped you out of your clothes and gazed at your naked body. she lightly slapped her cheek, you looked good bare but she didn’t let that take over her… yet.

she hooked your wrist onto the bed frame. the cold icy feeling of the cuffs latching onto your left wrist made you stir in your sleep, yet it wasn’t enough to wake you up from your deep slumber.

minjeong had the job of writing on you. depriving your humanity by writing objectifying words on your bare stomach. words such as ‘slut’, ‘filthy whore’, ‘gold digger’, were written across your stomach, thighs and legs. if it wasn’t humiliating enough, she took pics just for safe measures. it was horrible, yes she knew that.

she thought how genius it would be to draw an arrow on your lower abdomen pointing down towards your pussy, the words above saying ‘use here’. giggling to herself as she snapped another pic.

the flash from minjeong’s camera startled you. waking up grumpily asking “what the fuck is going on” as you tug on your arm, only to realise that you’ve chained to the bed.

first thing you noticed was minjeong’s camera pointing towards you, bright flash blinding your eyes “fuck- shit, this isn’t funny. turn the camera off” the chains on the cuff rattling as you attempt to pry them off “guys… this isn’t funny… take it off”

second thing you realised was the lack of clothing. the chilly air hit your body, goosebumps forming on your skin. the warmth of the blanket was no more and the intense humiliation began to seep into your body.

thirdly, the writing on your stomach and legs as you look down analysing the situation.

“you shouldn’t have said that earlier. the disrespect you have… yu y/n you’re disgusting” jimin spat at you, her gaze turned towards minjeong who then nodded. afraid that they would kill you right on the spot, automatically you started to sob out pathetic pleas

“listen, shit- i’m sorry. i was desperate okay… he should’ve given me the money anyway- cut me some slack, it was only a one time thing. you know, me and my mom rea-“

a hand flew to your face “shut the fuck up” she left a red stinging mark on your cheek- well deserved. minjeong gritted her teeth, she didn’t want her dad to wake up to another argument yet alone waking up to his two kids fight his other kid “this picture i took.. do you want this to be uploaded everywhere?” rapidly shaking your head in denial. the image in question was so vulgar, your legs being spread apart while the words ‘use here’ were pointing right at your pussy, it was truly horrible. minjeongs lips tugged upwards, biting back a snicker only because she wanted to seem serious and mean about this- oh and also because the image violently turned her on.

“n-no… delete the pic- please i’ll give the money back and apologise… just.. don’t upload it anywhere” hiccuping while hot tears streamed down to your chin.

“poor you” jimin added on “no one can help you now.. do as you’re told” her tone was sickening to hear.

it clicked and you felt disgusted, the knowing look that they had.. body language showing that they were about to ravish you. it was gross.

your tear stained face shifted into a dreaded look. feeling jittery, your eyes widened as both of them slid down their boxers, revealing their cocks that sprung up.

“…you guys are sick…” there’s no way in hell that they were about to do this. but here they were, approaching you as you attempt to free your wrist from the cuffs again “get away f-from me… you sick fuckers” minjeong sprang onto the bed first, holding your legs open as you try to kick away from her grasp. curses and shouts left your mouth, but they were useless since jimin wrapped her hand around it.

there was no use in fighting back. you gave into their heinous acts even if your body was rejecting them. no one was there to help you anyway. even if you called for your mother, she wouldn’t give a shit since she only cared for herself from the very beginning.

jimin, who stood beside you, pressed her cock against your face. you could feel her throbbing as she placed it on your cheek, the hard thing felt slimy and gross- you denied her as she tried to forcefully shove it in your mouth, which ended up with her slapping it around your face like you were some common whore “open up, unless you want those pics of you online” of course you didn’t want that- those posts would ruin your reputation, your self esteem. it would ruin you.

mentally screaming in your head, you open your mouth wide, feeling her thick cock enter your mouth slowly. jimin let out a long sigh, savouring the feeling of your tongue at the base of her cock- “a-ah.. you’re taking me whole? you slut” moaning out as she steadily rocks her hips back and forth “you should- mm fuck.. really use this m-mouth just to take dick, don’t you agree jeongie”

minjeong, who was stroking her dick in between your legs, nodded her head. fixated on the way you took jimin’s throbbing cock easily down your throat. she watched you with keen eyes, keeping her gaze on the way your lips parted and wrapped around her shaft while also listening to the gagging sounds you made everytime jimin hit the back of your throat.

having more of a moral compass in comparison to jimin, she felt a little bad for you- but couldn’t help getting off to the view in front of her. she grinned, a very fucked up grin you could say. grabbing her phone again, she pressed record without you noticing- being so caught up with having dick stuffed in your mouth. spreading your lips apart, pointing the cameras and zooming in on your soaked pussy “you really are a whore- getting wet from this.. you should’ve said you wanted this from the beginning y/n. or were you too much of a coward to ask” slapping your pussy repeatedly, earning a few muffled moans.

putting the phone down minjeong slipped her hard cock inside of you, skipping the condom and everything.

your pussy was tight, almost like a virgins… wait- “god, don’t tell me you’re a… you’re a virgin?” a sick and twisted smile crept upon both jimins and minjeongs face. and the way they got harder hearing that news further implicated that they were morally fucked up in the head “mmm… fuck, you’re so tight that i can barely move… y/n ah- ngh..” by trying to push her dick further into you, it caused you to scream out in pain and pleasure- the sensation of her throbbing cock filling up your virgin pussy felt alien, yet so good. thankfully you were soaking wet, and the precum slathered around minjeongs dick helped it slide in much easier than it should have.

“nmghh hurts… hurts-” you manage to say between breaths, voice muffled by jimin's cock still being pumped in and out of your throat. minjeong couldn’t care, extracting her anger out on your pussy, stretching it wide open for her own sick pleasure. she scoffed,

“not so talkative now, are you?” she mocks, her hands gripping the sides of your hips, nails digging into your flesh as she jolts her hips which caused her tip to ram into the entrance of your cervix. fuck.. and it hurt like hell. never being filled up by something so large, your eyes begin to roll back, and you begin to scream around jimin's cock.

both of them showed absolutely no mercy, using your body as if it was a toy for their pleasure. being used in such a way made you feel heated, your stomach tightening as they continue to force themselves into your holes.

minjeong moaned out, her nails digging deeper and deeper into your flesh, almost breaking it. your tight cunt clamping down so hard on her cock threw her into a frenzy- she observes your face with hearts in her eyes, she never felt this powerful before, god… even her movements sped up- there was a husky rasp to her moans, it even seemed animalistic.

and there was jimin, gripping your hair in a messy ponytail just so that she can ruthlessly fuck your mouth. with the amount that she was tugging and pulling on your head, you could assume that your head was throbbing in pain- assuming anyways, because you were feeling strangely good that you most likely ignored the pain.

as planned, they continue their assault on you. pussy already stretched out and abused, and your jaw began to ache.

enough of that jimin thought. although she enjoyed your warm throat, mouth and tongue working magic on her cock, she couldn’t forget that this was your punishment. the palm of her hand pushed your forehead, prompting you to lay back down, head meeting the soft pillows. you fell with a light thud- now due to the fact that you had nothing in your mouth to keep you quiet, and the way that minjeong was still pummelling into your pussy raw, you had no other choice but to cry out loud… not in a ‘save me, help me!’ way, it was more like a “fuck, fuck- mmnngh… w-wait- feels ah..!?” type of way.

jimin looked at her younger step sibling. she knew minjeong was too heated to even think about the punishment. she clicked her tongue in annoyance.

minjeongs fingers made their way to your clit, toying and rubbing with the sensitive nub. it only pushed you to moan even louder, the first time you’d have someone play with your clit.. waves of pleasure washed over your body causing you to wriggle around. seemed like jeongie was a little pussy drunk, actually no, she was pussy drunk. every pound forced your cunt to the best fucktoy for her. at this point her sweat dripped down from her temple to the side of her face with how fucking fast her hips were going.

jimin stood for a moment- thats when it struck her, another great plan came to mind. she kneeled on top of your bed, making it creak a little, shuffling a little closer to where minjeong was positioned, she whispered something sinister into her ears.

“get up-“ jimin ordered with an authoritative voice “stand up y/n” you winced, hissing out in pain as minjeong carelessly pulls her cock out with a little-

“mmm.. now? oh yeah, okay…” jeongie thankfully takes the cuffs off. thank god she did because the pain from the hard ass metal had you rubbing your wrist, a slightly deep and red mark sat on your skin.

“y/n, stand up” jimin ordered once again.

coughing out, voice hoarse “…fuck no… n-not gonna”

“still talking back?” minjeong sneered. now both of them are pretty strong- being able to toss you across the room for shits and giggle.. but not so much shits and giggles when you’re forced to stand up, seized inbetween jimins strong grip, both hands around your bare shoulders. she momentarily gawked between your legs, she snickered-

“lowlife stealing bitch and now a whore even though you were a virgin… you honestly deserve this” all at once her dick pierces your cunt, her erratic movements earning a guttural moan that came straight out your throat. following jimin, minjeong came from behind, lifting your leg into the air so that she could make room for herself.

“don’t…!? you’re gonna b-break me- i can’t fit both in me.. wait, please pleaseplease anything but this- please!?!” teasing her dick at your entrance, basking in the feeling of your wet pussy again. jimins thick cock was bigger than you’d anticipated- but having minjeong’s in your cunt as well would surely leave you unable to walk. not like they cared…

ramming both at different speeds caused you to lose control of everything. unable to adjust to their length, your hands instinctively search for something to grab ,because really.. who can function normally with two girthy dicks stuffed inside of their virgin pussy.

if one of them pumped in, the other one pumped out. an endless stream of violent railing that turned your brain to mush. beyond saving, and beyond speech- nothing more than gargled moans and incoherent mumbles fell from your mouth. so, so intense that you felt like your body was giving in-

being dehumanised and degraded and only made for jiminjeongs use. you hated that you learned to love it.

jimin threw her head back, her mouth agape moaning at how stuffed your pussy was and how much of a cock slut you were. hips snapping each time she felt like you weren’t reacting the way she wanted. huffing each time she felt close- her plan wasn’t completed yet and because of that she had to restrain from shooting her load into your womb.

minjeong bit down on your shoulder, marking you everywhere she could- only because she could take a couple more pictures later and use that as blackmail and definitely not her own personal use. she nuzzled herself into the crook of your neck- leaving dark bruises scattered across your nape.

you wrap your arms around jimins neck “feel- feel weird… haa.. mmngh-“ you squeezed your eyes shut, your body tensed, you heard the two of them pant in your ear, jimins low moaning reverberating in your head and minjeong high pitched whimpers suggested that they were as close as you were.

“take it- fuck,, take it all you filthy whore” jimin snapping her hips as she fills your entire cunt with her semen. not even a second later, minjeong ejaculates as well, she squeals and bites into your neck, both hers and jimins legs shaking from the harsh orgasm. you follow in their pleasure, letting out a strangled moan, head slumping backwards into minjeong as your body falls limp.

they leave you afterwards, letting you lay weakly on the floor “what happens here, stays here. if you tell anyone we’ll know.. oh and those pics will be posted” walking out the door as if nothing ever happened. and yet you’re laying down on your carpet cunt filled up with a mixture of their semen leaking out.

hmm… guess you’ll have to piss them off again. who knows what they’ll do to you.

HELP IDK HOW TO FEEL ABT THIS? THOUGHTS????

[bitchiswild]

storytime on how you got married because i just remember being at work when all of a sudden the marriage bot appeared and i was like ? 'who' and then BOOM you and lila were now a married couple (also the day my heart broke???)

@kittyl1z ohh Sienna... will your heart break again when I tell this story?😭

I basically gave the gist of how Lila @lilacura and I got married in the first goon central story, but sienna wants the details,so the details she will get. 😌

So it all started when Lila and I were planning my trip to her country cause we both love planning things for fun. We yapped about things we would do, where i would stay, how long i should stay, when i should come over, how she would buy me a plane ticket (sugar mommy fr) etc. THENNNN WE GOT OFF TOPIC AND STARTED talking about our birthdays, THEN we talked about our horoscopes and how she's a fire sign and I'm an air sign, so I told her that we are compatible because fire needs air to live.😎 (HAHAHA)

The she was like "STOPPPP WE'RE SOULMATES🤭" and i was like "YESSSS ATP PROPOSE TO MEEEE🤪" I was kidding during that time... but then Lila was like 🤨"who said u weren't already my wife?" in my mind i was like oh?(EHEHEH) I looked at my finger and replied to her "wheres the ring??? i see none" 🤨🤔

Then lila left to go find me a ring, she was sending me photos, but your gurly was being VERYYY MUCH PICKY WITH HER RINGS🥰 BUTTTTT Lila worked hard trying to find me a ring but none piped my interest so i went to look for it myself and sent her a pic of it and she was like "OH YOU LIKE THIS ONE?" ( yes yes i did) the she told me to wait then a second later SHE SENT THE SAME PHOTO I SENT HER TO ME AND TOLD ME TO ACT LIKE SHE CHOSE IT. so i was like "OMGGGGG ITS SOOO NICEEE YESSSSSS" then i took the ring and brought it to an editing app and edited the ring on My finger and sent it back to lila AND IT FUCKING LOOK LEGIT LMAOOOOO.

THEN THE NEXT DAY, THAT WAS WHEN WE ADOPTED KEER @keervah AND JADE @jade-jini AND LILA TOLD ME WE HAVE 2 KIDS AND I TOLD HER THAT WE DIDNT EVEN GET MARRIED YET AND WE ALREADY HAVE KIDS😭😭 but then Lila was like "I proposed yesturday🙄" and i was like "but theres no wedding🙄" ( like we didnt even sign papers😯) of course that made lila be like "WOW OKAY OUR ENGAGEMENT MEANS NOTHING TO YOU" i was shook🧍‍♀️ ( LIKE DID I NAWT SAY YESS???? I AGREEED, OUR ENGAGEMENT MADE ME GIGGLE AND KICK MY FEET, BUT WE JS NEVER SIGNED PAPERS?!) THEN SHE WAS LIKE YOU DIDNT EVEN GET ME A RING ( but little did she know i had a ring ready for her 😎 in my camera roll) So i sent it to her and of course SHE LOVEDDD ITTTTTT WHAT CAN I SAYYYYYYYYYYYY

It was perfect it was so her too then YOU SIENNA GOT BROUGHT UP CAUSE WE WERE TALKING ABOUT THE FANFIC ABOUT ME, LILA, AND SIENNA (the love triangle ff) ( guys would you be down for a fanfic like that?) ( IM KIDDING PLSS) and how in the fanfic lila would be the one to win in the end and i was TEASING I SAID "WHAT IF I LIKE SIENNA TOO" then lila got sad 😔 ( my bad bb) and was like "but we are the ones getting married." (rememberrr i said yesss to her proposallll i wouldnt js do it with any oneeee :p) but i apologized :3

Then the next day we added a marriage bot to the server :3 Thats when lila and i made our marriage official surrounded by people we love and care about watching me click the yes button😭🎉

In the end I’m happy and I hope lila is happy too😰(CONFIRM NOW!!) we are silly, we cry together, be sleepy together, send each other TikTok’s and chat all the time we are two peas in a pod (soulmates even 💅🏼) and I wouldn’t change a thing :33

:p

Our marriage anniversary is on March 1, 2024 💍🎉

but thats practically it for the story its a mess but thats just how i roll😎

LILA AND I'S RINGS 💕💕

[blindinghope]

binged the first season of bridgerton and starting season 2 thoughts:

-the reveal of lady whistledown did not make sense to me like i think this is the first time an unmasking of a character was..dull.. absolutely love penelope but it just didn't add up! the point of a twist is for it to be out of character but this really is...so...out of character. even seeing her write in the beginning of s2e1 is still strange

-s1 ended with mrs bridgerton reassuring eloise she can postpone her debut which was really sweet since it was after daphne spoke her mind on how unprepared she felt for marriage. tho eloise is still debuting??? i really thought they would have delayed and perhaps by a miracle she gets to go to school!! like she wanted!! she's so anxious i don't get why she went through with it...still holding out on hope she's gay<3

-anthony looked better s1 actually idk what it is but he's nawt doing it for me at the moment

-nicola getting to use her REAL beautiful irish accent as "lady whistledown's" worker AAAA

-what the heck is this first introduction of kate..why did anthony think she was in trouble and immediately follow her,,

-KATE READING ANTHONY TO FILTH RAAAAHHHH GET HIM AGAIN FOR ME!

-penelope/lady whistledown having eloise influence her writing especially to say they should value women beyond dancing and looks is..interesting....bc the whole point of her writing was just gossip about the season and debutantes. LIKE I GET IT....but leave edwina out of this.

[hisqueeninthenorth]

Them Dragons n Nem aka The Chronicles of Rhaeneesha and Daemoni went hard last night. Spoilers below do if you didn’t watch keep scrolling heaux and if you didn’t watch, wtf you waiting for 😑

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Aight so boom- we open this episode in the Mufuckin Vale y’all. Y’all remember when the 8 finger King sent Daemoni on his way right? Well, Daemoni being the incestuous homicidal maniac that he is decided that it’s not a homecoming without unaliving someone. And that someone was Lady Rhea Targaryen, heiress to Runestone. She was a Lil baddie too. She used her words better than she rode that horse.

We should all know that when Daemoni has on that damn hooded cloak the bullsh1t is sure to follow. I respect her gangsta though. She went out like a G and talked sh1t til the end. I couldn’t find a lie in anything she said.

Now let’s get back to the get back. The eight fingered King, or is it seven fingers? Ion know but them gloves he had on was gloving. The eight fingered king was on the ship and he had yet to get his sea legs because he was looking like a wight from Game of Thrones, all grey and green before he threw up 😑 not his best moment. “Is this your King???” Seriously eight fingers, do better.

Ser Otto Hightower was leaving the Red Keep for the unemployment line. I almost thought he was a robot til he hugged his daughter. Tough love but that battery in her back was unnecessary. Good riddance Kneegah. And may you have the retirement you deserve.

So the Royal retinue went to Driftmark y’all and I LIVED. First of all the castle rivals the Red Keep, but Corlys is the richest Kneegah in Westeros so I wasn’t surprised. The new hand is all “Is this how house Velaryon greets their king” and Laena’s fine a$$ was like “be easy my kneegah, daddy ain’t jumping for y’all uninvited begging a$$es.”

The entryway in High Tide was amazing. The funerary masks remind me of the masks from Benin. I see what they did there.

But NAWT Corlys Receiving ole eight fingers in a throne room of his own. And NAWT the eight fingers begging for an alliance after he snubbed him from the jump. Corlys said my grandpickney gonna be Velaryons, and Eight fingers was like “whatchyu mean Velaryons? We Dragons beech, and Dragons we will remain.” In the end a compromise ws reached and Rhaeneesha is getting hitched to her cousin yall. Honorable mention to Rhaeneesha being an ally for the LGBTQ way back when. She was like ion like Goose, I like Duck so we gon do what needs to be done but you can go on head and eat your duck or goose or whatever it is you like and ima do me. And yes fat meat is indeed greasy.

And about her cousin. Princess Rhaenys knows what typea time her son is on. She also knows that marriage and Raheneesha being the heir is a possible death sentence for them and her future grandchildren. Is she black cuz only black people have those spidey senses built in for imminent danger 🤷🏽‍♀️ anywho, we get a scene of Laenor frolicking with his paramour and it was cute or whatever but not like hot like Rhaeneesha and her sneaky link.

The Queen shall be forever known as Alicent Ms Mixie Messy because why is she so invested in who Rhaeneesha puts her Kewcheepurse on??? Dude in the garden- the new hands son/ is the same one Ser Criston unhorsed. Looks like he got twisted up cuz he was plotting and scheming with his bent body. “Bop it, twist it” why is it his or Alicents business that Rhaeneesha took the Plan Tea??? 🤷🏽‍♀️

Now back on the boat Ser Criston invited Rhaeneesha on an economy class ship to struggle love. He was like “babe we can eat oranges and ship hop and be married because I Luh you gworl.” 😑 Rhaeneesha was like “Bruh I am the Crown, and I’m not Dyck Dizzy enough to give up my inheritance to ship hop.” It was at that moment the course of the upcoming war changed. Ser Criston came down with a case of the spurns. He talm bout soiling his cloak as if he didn’t give up the drawers so easily. Dude was committed. At anytime while unlacing those hundreds of laces on those boots he could have opted out. That scene was giving “Why do fools fall in love” Rhaeneesha gave him the mmmbopshadoopbopbop and now he can’t see straight.

Alicent Ms Mixie Messy pressing Ser Criston will never not be weird. You can’t commit a crime with that jilted kneegah because Ser, no one asked you for that information. He was on some Ray J “I hit it first” nonsense and no one asked.

Issa wedding feast yall. And Jason Lannister went up to the dais looking real goofy. That fake smile that Viserys gave him after he said that dumb sh1t about women not being ready for a battle is today’s equivalent of the “church lady fawk you” 😑

Now them Velaryons are some Majestic kneegahs. Y’all saw the procession??? They came in there like yes we kneegahs with silver locks and dragons.. who fawkin wit us?? It was a moment.

Here comes Alicent Ms Mixie Messy in her house colors and a subtle battle cry and call for treason in the midst of Eight Fingers speech. The disrespect. But y’all tryna tell me no one noticed what she was up to? No one in that hall save for the other Greens was smarter than a fifth grader cuz ain’t no way they couldn’t put two and two together. Ray Charles saw it 👀

The Medieval Cha-Cha Slide was lit. That “Hey” was a whole vibe 😭

Here come Daemoni with his messy a$$. Ser Royce really tried it with accusing him- and rightfully so but Daemoni yet again wins the day. The “you’re evicted” sent me. He don’t GAF about nothing because why was he toying with Rhaeneesha’s emotions in front of her daddy eight fingers face??? I know her kewcheepurse was THUMPING when he grabbed her jaw and he almost made ole eight fingers have a stroke. It was wild.

Joffrey Lonmouth, Laenor’s sneaky link, has a long mouth. Because he pressing Ser Criston at the feast like he knows this man. I’m yelling at the tv “You don’t know this man” when Ser Criston clenched his fist I knew it was a wrap. I thought he was finna pull the blicky and send my boy to the upper room but it went down different.

Laenor getting tossed around like a delicate doll was too much fah me. Ser Harwyn Strong really lived up to his name because he was just tossing kneegahs left and right. Then tossed Rhaeneesha over his shoulder like she didn’t weigh an ounce.

Ser Criston has HANDSSSS. I almost felt bad for Ser Longmouth. If “Talk sh1t get hit” was a person, it’s him. I’m like you shoulda just sat there and ate your food. Now look. Blood and brains on the floor. Hole in your head. He was weighed and measured and came up short. Ser Criston put the paws on him, minked minked minked his a$$ and sadly he didn’t live to see another day.

I felt cheated because how did it pop off? Were there words after that? Or did it take a minute for Ser Criston to realize the kneegah was testing his gangsta 🤔

Them Westerosi Kneegahs are a different breed for sure. I guess it ain’t a real wedding unless somebody makes it to the creators throne room 🤷🏽‍♀️ but the way they made Laenor marry Rhaeneesha with his sneaky links blood and brains on the floor is a different type of disassociating. But it’s Westeros so I guess.

Ser Criston playing the victim talm bout he was dishonored so he gonna take his own life and here comes Alicent Ms Mixie Messy to fully bring him over to her side. I wanna feel bad for Criston, I just can’t knowing how this whole thing ends and the role he played in it. Rhaeneesha kewcheepurse must be bomb because she had all the kneegahs there checking for her. Ser Harwyn, Daemoni, Criston. Sis has options 🤷🏽‍♀️ and I’m not mad at her.

All in all we Light The way saw little action but a lot of setup. 10/10 would recommend.

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Til next week

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