#she probably sees trina as the one thing she didn't screw up

[bklynmusicnerd]

I don’t get how some ppl don’t see Portia’s behaviors as problematic. So parents of ADULT children who don’t like their ADULT child’s partner have every right to run interference bcuz they have concerns or don’t like that partner? Are we serious rn? Portia can have all the concerns she wants, no matter how extreme they are, but YES the line has to be drawn on her thinking she can actively do something to change it. That’s the problem. How are ppl defending this? How are her biased, closed minded views of Spencer not a problem? She’s trying to maintain control over her daughter. This is more about Portia then Trina. That’s what’s naturally supposed to happen when kids get older, become adults. Parents have to let go. They have to adjust to losing that control they once had over their children’s lives once they become adults, trust that the foundation they provided will guide them, be there for support/advice when asked and allow them to make their own choices, for better or for worse. This is so unhealthy. Trina is a grown woman who’s in love, not 12 experiencing her first crush. I’m just stunned that some don’t see a problem with this. I bet these same ppl would have a problem if their parents tried to do that shit to them as an adult

I feel like the vast majority definitely see Portia as a problematic and the narrative is definitely portraying her thought process as problematic. I have seen some of the cultural conversations about the "meddling black mom" which I get but I think Portia's situation is a lot deeper than that. Stella is more the type to fit that sort of cultural archetype of the meddling matriarch.

I think people who are sympathetic to Portia are coming from the perspective of Spencer being a hot mess. Spencer, on paper, is pretty much every parent's worst nightmare lol. But like you said, there comes a time when you have to "let go" and the issue with Portia is that she thinks that day is never.

I really loved what someone here said about Portia coming to define herself as Trina's mother and not really knowing who she was outside of that. I do think there's a part of Portia that's afraid to be alone with herself. Even when she lost Curtis and Taggert romantically, she could pour everything into being a working mother. Trina was the thing in her life that she could control and count on while everything else was chaotic. I think Trina growing up and figuring out who she is, away from Portia, scares her because then it forces Portia to figure out who she is beyond being Trina's mother. Taggert called her out on basically using Trina as a crutch to avoid the the problems in her own life that she doesn't want to deal with.

Portia is sort of obsessed with "controlling the narrative" and the narrative of her daughter is probably the one who she values the most. Trina was on a clear track pre-Spencer and while I'd still argue that she's on that track, Portia is always gonna view Spencer as chaos and derailment for her daughter's future success, a perpetual threat.