#she is a ''monkey goblin'' specifically | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

r0yalgrimmartz · 6 months

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The little shit bags- I mean darling cherubs💕

I never intended on making designs of Chazz and Kore's little crotch goblins. But uh here we are.

((Bonus: Ekou with snazzy sunglasses))

Tbh I'm impressed how I have the energy to sketch all three designs, so either it's a sign I'm gonna burn out soon or what 💀

Anyways the kids.

Kenji: Fucking whore. Jk. Kinda. Big momma's boy, kinda had beef with Chazz for a little while when Kore and Chazz were separated for two years during his childhood years, but he speaks to Chazz more often now and has a better relationship with him. Literally is the embodiment of a gifted and intelligent student now is a severely burnt out and tired moody bitch. Has more fucking break ups because he literally doesn't fucking understand relationships well and has a lot of inner problems with himself. Eventually gets better, working on himself. Massive bipolar disorder. Is an asshole because...literally he is one, not because of his bipolar. Very confrontational and argumentative when he is being accused for shit he has never done. Can't see Duel spirits, but can hear them?? Assumed he was just hearing things. Also a big lover of dueling. Very competitive but can be hella petty if he loses. Hates the smell of hospitals and medial equipment, it makes him physically ill and very anxious (lore related lmao).

Himari: Resting bitch face 24/7, is genuinely very sweet and shy. Is she glaring at you from across the room in a terrifying manner?? Oh don't worry she's squinting her eyes trying to read the board behind you. Very passive, rarely loses her temper. Has the fucking literal patience of a Saint. Unless you catch her on a bad day and you set her off, don't be surprised if you find yourself smacked through the wall. Works out a lot, mainly to distract herself or pass time originally. Plus used to have trouble with carrying heavy shit due to her previous weak and frail physique, so wanted to be able to carry shit better (cough also to impress this crush she has on a girl cough). Loves to dress feminine and girly, tries to style her outfits a lot. Literal daddy's girl, yet gets embarrassed and shy when Chazz is kicking off with some kids or parents who might be mean or accusing Himari, and she has to physically remove him before she dies of embarrassment. Literally loves her dad but at times think he might go overboard, hence why she talks to her mom about certain issues and probably dating advice (don't even fucking say anything you seen that episode with Chazz tryna Duel Alexis to be his girlfriend, you should know why). Let's her emotions out when it comes to dueling, especially with how frustrated she gets or angry. Literally considered her Duel monsters her friends during her childhood due to lack of friends, only to look back and cringe. Doesn't realise her Duel spirits watch over her a lot and try to protect her.

Ekou: Accidental child. Literally was not fucking planned, he came as a fucking surprise. Yet was the most chill and easiest of the three to raise. Kinda. Despite how he was always found in odd places he shouldn't have been in. Definition of...that one weird kid in class you don't talk to but he is surprisingly chill af. Comes out with the most horrific and outlandish shit at times that everyone fucking turns and side eyes massively. Also, comes out with useless trivia about probably classic horror movie or slasher movies, adds nothing to the conversation. He just enjoys the cheesy block buster campy slashers and horror movies, no matter how dumb or ridiculous they are, he gets a laugh out of it. Also, attracts a lot of the evil and bad shit a lot. Like Jaden 2.0, yet no fucking idea why. Ekou tends to find himself in what seems to be friendly little duels only for it to be duels where he nearly dies (specifically these happen during his mid to late teens). At this point he's not phased anymore he's more so expecting it and is like "so what is it today, three monkeys trying to disguise as a man while standing on one another or some giant bulking cloaked mysterious man who threatens my friends and loved ones?" He just at this point tries walking away to avoid it yet his ass gets dragged in. Surprisingly fucking smart, he just can't be bothered to do the homework he gets given. Definitely collects magical girl figures. Mainly cause he finds them cute and adorable. Also owns a pet fucking fat tailed gecko he absolutely cherishes and adores. Takes care of it a lot, legit carries it everywhere with him, she just chills on his shoulder, in his jacket or on his head. However, like his dad, he can actually see Duel spirits. It kinda just happened one day when he was like five and he got startled when his duel monster was chilling next to him in bed. Actually treats his duel monsters well, talks to them a lot which...alarms people assuming he is just talking to himself. Also wears snazzy fucking sunglasses cause why not.

Will I ever post more about them? Probably not- I'll probably focus on the current cast etc. Unless I do post more about them then shoot me dead pls.

#my art #oc #ocs #my post #digital art #ibispaint art #yugioh gx #ygo gx #yugioh #ygo #chazz princeton #jun manjoume #yugioh oc

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countersguardian · 4 months

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I'd be careful. Syuen or even the Central Government might take interest in you and try and lay their claim.

"Oh they're welcome!~"

"We love Syuen over here! She has soooooooo many admirers!!!"

"The Central Government isn't a concern though. Maya is here! As such, The Outpost has its acting Commander."

"So when you think about it, Ennick stands to gain the most is Syuen's lil monkey brain starts turning any gears. She did say she wanted that little goblin's grey matter specifically."

"Be a real shame if our deal fell through... OH!"

"Now that I think about it.... Syuen's fate is in Maya's hands now, isn't it? I'm sure that'll be fine."

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lex1nat0r · 1 month

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White Elephant: The Core of the Problem

AAR #09

Session report from my ongoing Lancer campaign.

Characters (LL 1):

Raiju (They/Them, Hacker 2/Ace/Centimane, Barbarossa 1) - GMS Everest - Delta (Player not present this session)

Sunshine (They/Them, Grease Monkey/Technophile/Engineer/Juggernaut, Pegasus 1) - GMS Everest - Exchange of Affection

Rook (He/Him, Walking Armory/Stormbringer/Brutal, Balor 1) - GMS Everest - Not Fun By Myself (Player not present this session)

Daylight (She/Her, Technophile 2/Crack Shot/Infiltrator, Vlad 1) - GMS Everest - Hits Different

Magpie (They/Them, Hacker 2/Technophile 2, Goblin 1) - GMS Everest - General Protection Fault

NHPs:

Molotov - Via Sunshine’s Technophile talent - Projects as a small velociraptor - unshackled

Willow - Via Daylight’s Technophile talent - Projects as 1-2 squid - unshackled

Murgatroid - Via Magpie’s Technophile talent - Projects as a wizard? - shackled

Prev session writeup

Raiju and Rook split off from the main group to help get more of the vast cloning facility under control. The other three made it to the computer core, encountering Security Chief Haase in THUNDER KING, the most mall ninja chassis imaginable, trying to smash up the core supported by NHP-controlled units delegated to the Security Chief. Haase doesn't seem in the mood for talking, so the lancers have to get kinetic in order to preserve whatever data's in the core.

Combat 2.2: Heavy Metal Thunder

Sitrep: King of the Hill (Enhanced Combat)

OPFOR:

THUNDER KING (Ultra Demolisher - Kinetic Compensation / Superior Frame / Repulsion Field)

RPV Engineer Grunt x 2

RPV Support

Outcome: PC Victory

(Tokens by Retrograde Minis (on the basic blank hex tokens that come with Lancer so they show up well), map by Interpoint Station’s pixel art assets, VTT is Roll20)

I've been following the template for combats laid out in the Lancer modules, designing enemy comps for 3/4/5 PCs, so dropping down to 3 lancers for this session wasn't a problem. The win was close, with Puppet System from H0R_OS System Upgrade I coming in clutch at the end.

I hadn't anticipated how deadly an Ultra Demolisher would be - the multiple activations from Ultra mean that it can cross the board frighteningly quickly, and at LL1 that hammer is very close to doing a Structure per hit (and THUNDER KING hit a lot). Good to know that an Ultra Demolisher is a viable threat, at least at tier 1.

Rules quibble: I don't think the Grunt template mentions anywhere that drones deployed from a Grunt only have 1 HP, so RAW there's some ambiguity over whether a Grunt Engineer's turrets have 5 HP or 1. Common sense dictates that the turrets only have the 1 HP (explained in-fiction by the Drone-type Recluse models popping bits of themselves off that become the turrets), but it might be fun to have Grunts that are themselves easy to kill but which can choke the board with more durable deployables if left alone (maybe they have some kind of teleport homer).

King of the Hill is a functional sitrep, but it ended up a little too static for me. With some more confidence in the system I'd maybe brew up an NPC type that can inflict more forced movement on PCs to get people bouncing around the board more. Maybe swap out the Support for a Mirage with Metafold Shove. Maybe make it so there's sitrep-specific NPCs around the board that need to be taken out before the PCs can rush the objective. King of the Hill was good for this narrative situation, and I certainly enjoyed having the unstoppable force of a Demolisher to threaten the point, but I don't think it offers a whole lot over a regular Holdout as it stands.

With THUNDER KING locked out of access to the computer core and the combat stims wearing off, Security Chief Haase powers down and surrenders.

Next time: Bringer of Fire?

#lancer #the danse mechabre #tdm white elephant

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sunshinestardrop · 11 months

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Once again I have come up with a daydream.

All my daydreams start off the same, Isekai style because thats my favorite genera. So like, youre a person that's played Baulders Gate 3, but youve only ever gotten thru act one because you're on the same boat as everyone else who was on it for the first few weeks- start up the game, create a character and then go through act 1 with a fine toothed comb before deciding you want to make another character because 'hehe fighting sims.'

So you only know act one, and you get dragged right into the chaos when you fall onto the beach. Of course youre confused- who wouldnt be- and think maybe youre having a really fucking werid dream induced via too much gaming, but the pounding in your temple is enough to tell you theres something wrong. You actually do try to get to the water to look over yourself, but you trip over a sword and ADHD kicks in and you just forget what you were doing cause cool ass sword.

Still, its best to keep going and figure things out on the way. You come across Shart and wake her- shes pissed at you for not helping her on the ship so apparently whatever play though this was already has you fucking up. You apologize anyway cause that is kind of fucked up.

So you guys continue on, fight a little and Shart notes that youre kind of a shit fighter- fair, you never had to fight in your life- but the next few words have you take pause- that she thought your kind were better fighters. Alright, raciest much? Whatever, not your circus- not your monkeys.

You bolt to Astarion, cause of course you do- everyone loves the angsty vampire man. Things play out- he seems to have that whole brain merge thing that... dosnt bother you as much? Like maybe everyones just never had a bad headache in this world cause all you feel is a little tingle. whatever.

You get Gale, whos just a chipper as ever. You guys get along pretty well together.

And then you get to L'zel and something happens- The Tieflings that caught her call you "Underelf." and thats race specific dialogue. Youre kind of shocked, but also like if you were in your OG body youd be dead instantly. Humans from IRL are pretty squishy.

Yeah, things happen. You go through the first Act with prior knowledge from playthroughs which helps to set the MC up for the next few acts. And since you know whats gonna happen the first Act would more be spent trying to get used to the magic system, learning how to talk like a DND character (while also having the addition of the Main party knowing the actual earthling side of you, also using your unusual way of speaking/acting to confuse enemies) fighting, and also learning that the reason it hurts people to connect with your mind via tadpole is because ADHD makes your mind a fucking cacophony of so-much-noise-all-at-once that it will fry other peoples brains if they try to dig into yours. During this time MC would have to get used to the concept of death and killing- as well as the fact that people are kind of nonchalant about it to your standards.

During Act one the main party is also much more closed off about their issues. Getting Astorian to admit that he's a vampire is much harder, and it takes him being nearly on deaths door from lack of blood and you indirectly implying you know by catching him wildlife to drink from when no ones around. It's very awkward. Karlach and Gale are the only ones that outright state their issues within a reasonable time frame because their very good aligned and very opened. Although, Gale does just happen to ramble it out one day and you just let it be until he needs something.

Lae'zel is probably more of a subtal respect that happens as you grow and she sees your fighting improve- same with Shart.

Theres also the fact that its very easy to be a smooth talker when a lot of people have a supposed -1 on wisdom.

During the goblin camp fight there's a part I want where MC finds a car- like an actual earth car- in the goblin camp and with the help of Gales electrical boost and MCs knowledge of jumping cars (I feel like thats a common knowledge thing for people that have a car- at least for me it is?) theyre able to get the thing running for a brief moment and theres a rule-of-cool moment where MC gets to run down a bunch of Goblins before the car sputters out. Probably with Set it Off or something playing in the background.

The grove is saved, There's no romance at the party. Some of them do make a pass but it's more of a "how about some fun" sort of thing. Astarion offers, but compared to what it's like in the game its... a lot more uncomfortable? Like you can honestly tell it's more of a desperation to stay safe thing then a fun thing. All in all there's this whole thing where MC is like "Im far too busy with keeping the camp safe and making sure my allies are ok. Sleeping with people that rely on me feels like im taking advantage of them and thus is bad to me. You all have a home here, no one is going to be forced to leave and I will fight tooth and nail to keep you all safe- no thank yous needed."

They do have the weave moment with Gale, but its more friendly and there's more explanation of magic and shit. I want to explore the fact that since MC has no idea about the laws of magic and how it works here they are not fully bound by the rules. They can make magic that shouldn't be possible happen since they dont know they're not supposed to be able to do that. Of course I want this to become a prob later where its a situation where "These rules are in place for a reason" and MC suffers pretty badly for going outside those rules (Magic drainage? Permanent debuff?)

So like the ground work for Act one would be

-Setting up the understanding that MCs brain, because it's different, messes with People that try to invade it- typically involves brainfog or terrible migraines.

-Fleshes out the companions as people more just cause I like character building (Friendship with Gale is achieved, Respect from Le'zel and Shart without them admitting it, Understanding from everyone else and tentative friendships)

-on top of that, also give reason to place MC in a leadership role, as they gain more confidence in their fighting and allows their body to take over (Muscle memory in a way) They prove themselves more confident, they also will work for the betterment of the group instead of the individual while also playing a diplomat. Actions are carefully thought out when they can, and quick decisions are made with every option in mind. The only reason theyre good at this in act one is cause of the knowledge about the game, but as they go into act two they improve without the clairvoyance.

-MC strength would be that theyre good at reading people

-also the implication from the Raph and Moriz that there's something even more wrong with MC then just a tadpole. (Possibly described as too many consciousnesses stifling one and other out)

-the slight implication that MC might not actually be the OG Tav- and instead might be the mindflayer tadpole already taken over the body.

-no dream visitor, despite the implication that everyone else has been visited

-I also really want a friendship between Gale and MC to build up, like in my mind they really care for eachother without ever using words which is what later leads to MC trusting him with their secrets

-halsin would also be build up as a confident to MC, as he's the first one that isnt solely reliant on MC and MC doesnt fell like they're taking advantage of him since he can come and go as he pleases

Dear god the amount of ground work for Act 1 is insane, now I know why the devs put so much stuff into Act 1 in the game. you gotta get that ground work to really do the big stuff.

guiakhda Might post Act 2 daydream part later

#BG3 thoughts #uh theyre scattered and better thought out in my head but whatever

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fantasy-anatomy-analyst · 3 years

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(image description: eight sketchbook drawings of characters holding a variety of pride flags, all nude and posed in ways that match some old fine art pieces. The nudity has been censored with cute digital flower stickers. end description.)

Characters:

Dalmar, intersex man. Kouto, nonbinary. Chacha, agender. Parva, nonbinary. Xulic and Kidron, genderqueer. Obeli (or Abuela) Moruga, genderqeer. Olli, demiguy. Sajak, genderqueer.

Genderqueer is kind of my default for "well, biologically and culturally, they already don't have binary sex or gender, so they kinda default to genderqueer." And I know maybe some people will be bothered by that, but it's just part of the worldbuilding I've written around all these non-human and frequently non-mammalian species of people.

The uncensored version is on my Patreon page. I do have one more drawing to add to this series, but since it's four child characters I will not need to worry about adding any censors and keeping the original image only on my patreon, as they will simply be wearing their pride flags as whole outfits.

The previous part of this, my binary trans characters, can be found over here.

detailed character descriptions and explanations of the pose references under the cut

Dalmar Ubora, a black intersex elf man with short black hair. He is holding his arms up as he holds the intersex flag, mimicking the pose of Virgin Mary from Titian's painting "The Assumption of the Virgin". The shading was washed out by the photo, but his belly is still clearly round from pregnancy. Dalmar is an interesting case, in that he was assigned male at birth based on his outward appearance, continues to identify as male throughout his life, but finds during puberty that what was believed to be an undeveloped penis was actually just a non functional body part. Instead, what actually developed to full functionality was his uterus. He still identifies as a straight cis man, and has come to terms with his body. He is married to a medically transitioned trans woman, and he could undergo operations to change his body if he wanted to. Instead, he has embraced his body and even birthed some children who were conceived via sperm donations. This is why I wanted a Mary pose for him, and this painting in particular is about Mary being welcomed into heaven as a blessed holy woman. Dalmar may not be a miraculous holy figure, but there is a reverence in the way he has come to love his body and chosen to bear children, including the surrogate birth of his brother's child.

Kouto Hayashi-Loryck, a slender nonbinary elf with black hair tied into a bun. They are holding the nonbinary flag and standing in the pose of a statue known as "Apollo Belvedere", which is so old no one knows the artist's name. One arm raised, one lowered, legs in the relaxed contrapposto pose. Kouto is an artist and an art model. Apollo is a god of the arts, and regarded as a beautiful and sexual figure. Kouto is bisexual and admittedly a very sexual and flirtatious person. They did settle into a happy marriage though (actually they are Dalmar's in-law and the sperm donor for the aforementioned surrogate birth.) Marriage has not stopped Kouto's flirtations, merely limited their targets to a singular person. It felt right to give him this pose, from a pretty well known portrayal of Apollo. Beauty, art, and sex, all defining traits of Apollo and Kouto alike, all present in a pose where the figure seems to be reaching for something above them.

Chacha Faraji, an agender black elf with short hair. They are facing away from the viewer, seated on a stool that is covered by the draped agender flag. No physical traits that could betray their agab are visible. Chacha is sitting in the pose of Reubens' painting "Venus at the Mirror". The arm closest to the viewer ends at the elbow, while they hold a mirror in front of their face with their one whole arm. Their face is seen reflected, smiling, little wrinkles visible by their eyes. I chose this painting in part because it did allow me to obscure Chacha's agab. They were my first nonbinary character, and I never really settled on an agab. But also, I enjoy putting characters who have unconventional bodies into poses associated with Venus or Aphrodite, the goddess of beauty. Chacha is missing half an arm, they are getting older and it shows in the wrinkles on their face. Chacha is also Aromantic and Asexual, the full queer triple A battery. The mirror pose has become an independence of beauty. "Look but don't touch." Chacha is beautiful, and they do not need to be beautiful for anyone but themself.

Parva Turbatus, a white nonbinary elf with shoulder length curly hair that has been shaved down on the far side of their head. They are holding the nonbinary flag, standing in the slightly closed off pose found in Paul Gariot's painting "Pandora's Box". One hand on their chest, one hand held out to hold the flag. They have top surgery scars on their chest and a c-section scar on their navel, though all of these have unfortunately been hidden by the flower censors. I chose a pandora pose for Parva because they have one of the most intense tragic backstories of any of my characters. Like Pandora opening the box, they have suffered through many things but came out the other side with Hope, and healing.

Xulic Vos and Kidron Engedi, a drow and a lizard person. They are sharing the genderqueer flag. Xulic has long ears and white hair in a braid, with a white monkey-like tail barely visible behind their legs. Kidron looks like a leopard gecko, and their tail is acting as a visual block in fron of Xulic's groin. They are standing together in the central pose of Raphael's "School of Athens" fresco. Xulic is pointing one hand up to the sky, while Kidron holds one hand palm down towards the earth. Xulic's chest is visibly flat, however I have rewritten the drow as a eusocial people, who's biology has made most of the common population infertile and visibly near identical above the waist. Xulic's agab is unknown to anyone but them, and perhaps their reptilian lover Kidron. Both drow and lizard folk have biology and cultures that do not really support a gender binary, so genderqueer suits them both quite well. I chose the School of Athens pose because these characters are scientists in fields that overlap, and they often get into deep discussions on the matter. Xulic is a paleontologist while Kidron is a geologist, and they have another friend (my protagonist) who studies archaeology.

Obeli (or Abuela) Moruga, an elderly goblin with sagging skin and axolotl-like frills on the sides of her head. She grins as she holds the gender queer flag, partly draped over the tall stool she is seated on. Her pose matches that of John Collier's "Priestess of Delphi" painting, which depicts a woman hunched over herself on a stool. Old Obeli Moruga, whose title best translates to "grandmother" is a significant figure in her community, both because of her more practical role as a leader and wise woman, but also because she has gained immortality and become an incarnation of Life Itself, after she was given the offer of such power when she nearly died in the goblin revolution. There are many figures that would suit her. Poses from statues of goddesses, like Athena or Gaia. Perhaps turning away from the theme of greek and roman figures I ended up with for my nonbinary group (dalmar is his own thing) and using the famous painting of Liberty on a battlefield. But now in her old age, all those poses of figures in more active poses, tall and imposing, simply didn't feel right. A wise old woman, hunched on a stool in a pose associated with the idea of an oracle, a priestess, a prophetess, felt much more fitting. (goblin culture does have specific pronouns for leadership, and in the common speech they have decided this translates best to the feminine "she/her")

Olli Moruga, also a goblin with axolotl-like frills, standing with the demiguy flag in his hands. He is in the pose of Michaelangelo's statue of Bacchus, god of wine, merriment, and madness. One hand up as if to salute with a cup, body leaning and perhaps a little unstable. Olli is a gay demiguy, stepping away from the naturally ungendered state of his people to embrace masculinity instead. He is extroverted, loves a good party, and has definitely been a little over his depth with alcohol on many occasions. He knows this is a problem. He used to act rebellious because of it, trying to be cool and aloof, but he has since admitted the truth to himself and now openly seeks help. His trans lover, Zaire (seen in a previous post) has become a great support to him. Even though it may seem odd to use the pose of a god of wine for a character that is trying to overcome an alcohol issue, I still feel like the vibe of Bacchus or Dionysus fits Olli well. He is not only a god of wine, but also of pleasure in general, a concept Olli embraces. Wild joy, perhaps to the point of becoming a little feral, abandoning tradition for personal fulfillment. It is unusual for goblins to embrace a binary gender, even partially. Gendered pronouns do not exist in their tongue, only being used in cases where common speech needs to be used to refer to certain significant figures, such as a leader. It is also unusual for a goblin to take a lover outside their species, since most goblins live in fairly isolated places and all mate together seasonally, depositing their eggs in a communal nursery pool. Olli stands out on purpose.

Lastly, Sajak, an amphibious person with some fish-like features such as their finned ears and a barely visible dorsal fin. They are holding the genderqueer flag as they stand in a commanding pose, one foot on a rock, one arm held out as if pointing to something below them. This pose is taken from the central Poseidon statue in the fountain of Trevi. Their head, arms, and torso are covered in dark tattoos in abstract designs, and they also have a few natural dark stripes along their arms and legs. The obvious connection between Sajak and this statue of Poseidon is that Sajak is a fish person and Poseidon is an ocean god. If I could have thought of a more medical figure, I may have made a different choice in the art reference. Sajak is primarily a doctor, a healer. They are fairly well known and they were an important figure on their home island, though they did leave eventually. Even so, there is a certain vibe to Sajak that suits the image of a powerful and unpredictable oceanic god. They are steady, intelligent, and careful, but they can become fierce when their loved ones are under threat, and the intense focus they show in their work as a doctor can be intimidating to see. There is a feeling of hidden power within Sajak, just as there is in the ocean when it seems calm. Fish folk, whether bipedal and amphibious or fully aquatic, also fit under my category of "non-mammalian people who are just kind of genderqueer by default due to their biology not fitting into a binary".

#figure art #figure drawing #nonbinary #intersex #genderqueer #queer ocs #winks ocs #image description #accessible art #my designs #drow #lizard folk #elves #goblins #merfolk

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castleoflions · 4 years

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The Yumeko vs Terano gamble might be an allegory of the old Japanese folktale “Momotaro”

Obligatory warning that this contains spoilers for Kakegurui Ch. 77

More under the jump because I don’t wanna wreck everyone’s dashes.

So other than the “Fasciation Hall” (ps that’s a really weird translation...the kanji pretty explicitly calls it “Double-Headed Lotus Hall,” but I don’t work for Yen Press, so whatever) being a hugely obvious metaphor for the identical Momobami Twins, there appears to be some other layers of symbolism happening here.

First, a quick aside about the Fasciation/Double-Headed Lotus Hall.

Like I said, this is blatant reference to Kirari and Ririka’s birth. We get confirmation that Kirari not only built the building, she thought up the game that takes place there too. You could make a pretty sound argument that Kirari has built structures inspired by her two favorite people: The Tower of Doors for Sayaka, and The Fasciation/Double-Headed Lotus Hall for her sister, Ririka.

Also, Kirari seems to be a pretty prolific builder! Enough that Terano has a sense of what her work is like. This plays into my personal speculation that Kirari is an architect of sorts, since she seems to enjoy building and analyzing structures, both physical and metaphorical.

This building can also be Kirari making a subtle commentary: While a double-headed lotus is considered good luck, twin births in Japan were traditionally extremely abhorred (to the point of separating or outright killing one of the twins) and seen as bad luck. Given the evidence that we have that Kirari comes from a traditional family, this might be her version of flipping a really elegant middle finger.

One more piece of symbolism from this chapter and then we’ll get to the big Momotaro allegory, I promise.

The game moderator is a member of the Election Committee we haven’t seen before: Sukaru Aizawa. She’s also wearing a kigurumi hoodie that I and many others had trouble identifying, because what animal even is that?!

Turns out the clue is in her name: Sukaru, written in kana notation as スカル, means “Skull.” (I originally read this incorrectly as “Scar” the first time I saw her name; the kana for that would be something like スカー)

So we have an election official who is departing from the animal theme of the committee’s kigurumis to wear a skull, who has a pretty crass attitude, and is moderating a major gamble that could decide the whole election.

The obvious symbolism of a skull is death, but we’ll see what Kawamoto does...and whose head ends up on the chopping block from this gamble.

The Yumeko v Terano gamble as an allegory for Momotaro

When I first read this chapter, I thought the character designs for the house pets introduced here were kind of striking...they were stylized and really stood out in comparison to other house pets/background characters we’ve met. Turns out their character designs reflect specific kanji in their names that relate to an extremely well-known Japanese folktale: Momotaro. This is a reference that would easily fly over a foreign audience’s heads, but should be pretty quickly recognizable to a Japanese audience.

The (extremely bare-bones) summary of the Momotaro folktale is this:

Momotaro is a child born from a giant peach to an old man and woman who don’t have a child of their own, but who have always wanted one. It is said that the gods/heavens sent Momotaro to be their child as recognition for their hard work over the years.

Momotaro grows up to be a strong, smart boy who leaves on a journey to a faraway island full of “devils” (usually depicted as ogres or goblins) to put an end to their reign of terror on the land.

Along the way, Momotaro meets a dog, a monkey, and a pheasant. The animals are prone to fighting with each other, but are united by Momotaro urging they get along or he will abandon them. This group storms the island and defeats the devils, with each animal contributing to their success in a different way. They return with riches pillaged from the devils’ castle, and they all live happily ever after or whatever.

The house pets, except for Tsubomi, who we’ve met twice before (and who I suspect will be a major wild card in this gamble), have kanji in their names for dog, monkey, and pheasant:

The Dog

The Monkey

The Pheasant

The only other character in this gamble who has animal kanji in their name is Yumeko Jabami, whose name contains the kanji for “snake.” That’s likely just happenstance since that’s been homegirl’s name from the beginning and she wasn’t created specifically for this arc like the house pets were.

Also I’d be remiss not to mention that “Momotaro” literally means “peach boy,” and “Momobami” literally means “peach eater.” That’s a very on-the-nose reference if Kawamoto wants to go there.

We have a very obvious and blatant reference to a popular Japanese folktale where cooperation between these animals ensures the success of the protagonist. Which begs the question: who is the Momotaro figure in this gamble? And who represents the devils?

Remember: the Momotaro story is about a powerful, divine teenager who assembles a group of unlikely allies to defeat a larger evil far away from home.

With that in mind, there are three theories I have so far:

Theory 1 (the obvious theory): Terano is Momotaro who has traveled far with her misfit family to Hyakkaou to defeat Kirari the devil.

Theory 2 (the “eh...maybe?” theory): Yumeko is Momotaro who has arrived at Hyakkaou and made friends with Suzui and Mary, who didn’t get along before she showed up, to defeat Kirari the devil.

Theory 3 (my personal favorite that we need more evidence to prove, but there has been subtext for): Kirari is Momotaro who has traveled to Hyakkaou (remember: the Bamis had nothing to do with Hyakkaou before she showed up), banded together the student council and student body, and is destabilizing the Bami Clan (her “devils”) in order to burn the whole system down.

Whichever way it shakes out, it’ll be interesting to see where this goes!

#kakegurui #momotaro #terano totobami #kirari momobami #yumeko jabami #kakegurui ch. 77 #anime: lesbian gambling simulator #kakegurui spoilers

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finsterhund · 3 years

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Hey I fucking broke my ankle lmao

“I could really use a break right now” I say as I struggle with my dog having terminal cancer, my roommate pushing my limits, my money being nonexistent, and barely getting one meal a day.

A finger on the monkey’s paw that is me ever wanting anything in life curls again. Must have been a pretty fucked up monkey because there’s a lot of fingers on this thing by now.

So yeah, life thought I wasn’t going through enough already so it added broken fucking ankle to the list of Finsterhund suffering hours.

“I wish I wasn’t broke” is another good one. “here have a different broke then lol. go fuck yourself you rotting corpse of a victorian boy piece of shit”

here’s the goods. Got ex roommate to take photo of the screen. Doctor did not let me email the high res version to myself.

I did not go “waaaiii” on the way down, unfortunately. Life just isn’t like a video game. Probably didn’t look funny either. In reality I am a silent faller/injurer/whatever. Survival instincts of child abuse survivor I land and stay there as quiet as possible. I “grew out of” signals for help before teenage years. Which is a blessing in disguise because I don’t like people looking at me when I am hurt. it’s the “baby deer waiting for mom to come back instinct” I hide from predators.

My brain didn’t really process it when it happened. I just fell and heard a SNAP. If I had watched a video of it happening to someone else I would have found it gross but fortunately my brain just let me ignore it.

I was mostly immediately scared that I had somehow damaged the FIFTY DOLLAR dog calming aid that I got for Cazza in the pet store. I needed something like it for her and just seeing it in person and not having to pay 30 dollar shipping I was like “yeah. getting it here” fortunately the only fragile part is a little plastic capsule that imitates a heartbeat, which was packaged inside the toy inside the box. I hope. I have not opened it.

But the reason I fell is because I was also carrying giant bag of dog food. You see my vet recommended I switch out her food in light of the potential heart disease link. So I got the biggest bag of the best chicken stuff they had. My roommate might try saying that it was because the bag was too heavy. It wasn’t. I could lift that shit just fine. Bag was impossible for my impaired depth perception cringe fail line of vision to see around. The same visual impairment that prevents me from being able to drive a car made me think that I could put my foot down on the curb of the sidewalk. Dumb ass thought I was stepping OVER the curb.

Fortunately the bag of dog food broke my fall. Otherwise I’d have probably smashed my nose and teeth on the pavement. I really hope the expensive puppy calming toy is unharmed :( I say as I have a fucking broken leg.

So yeah. If you’ve seen labyrinth where David Bowie playing Jareth the Goblin King walks over all those weird ass fucked up stairs and ledges that are all a manner of odd angles? Specifically where he just takes steps that are at an angle that you cannot actually walk? Yeah I fucked up Jareth platform stairs walked over the fucking curb and snapp my legs

yes, I said legs.

Only my left is technically broken. It’s a Webber A something or other. I have a sick as hell photo if you wanna see. It’s included in this post.

But my right foot also got fucking fucked up. That one it snapped a tendon or a ligament or whatever the fuck. Get this, it snapped off a small piece of the gottamn bone. It’s not a break but it’s like it came off like a splinter. I made a joke in the hospital about how it’s like when you throw a sticky hand at the wall and when you pull it back a piece of the paint comes off with it. That was really fucking funny but nobody laughed. My friend’s group chat thought it was funny though. I did not get a photo of that foot and the tiny cringe sticky hand paint sliver bone.

I am on pain meds better than my normal pain meds. I can barely feel the legs in bed now.

So back to the parking lot. I landed on the dog food bag. I am hoping the calmeroos puppy is not broken or damaged in any way, I heard the snap but my brain is not registering the snap. This hurts “like a normal fall” I think at first. It hurts a lot of course, but I have the pain tolerance of a truck (thanks for this one Will) and a “heartwarming” story from my youth is that my mom didn’t believe my arm was broken both times it happened because I wasn’t “in pain enough” so I’ve got the firsthand experience to back that up.

Yeah then I try to fucking move my goddamn legs. Left one, broken one, there’s noises. Like cracking pop sounds. And pain. God fuck. It feels like the foot is loose and it’s only connected by fleshy flesh and muscle and skin. Aka like how my dislocated shoulder (that my mom also dismissed because I didn’t scream enough... after the lifeguard had alreayd put it back in...) had felt when I was 12.

So I’m like “oh god oh fuck oh god oh fuck I can’t get up or move” yeah my first response was “how the fuck am I going to escape?” I attempted to better myself to get up but absolutely not. Right foot feels like when I roll the damn thing which happens a lot. That *WAS* my bad ankle. sidkfjsdkfjskdf not anymore!!!!!

So an important note is that I’m technically better about my severe agoraphobia that my roommate can let me go into a store by myself provided he’s no more than a couple stores away. So while I’m waiting for a predator to pick my weak ass off outside the petstore he’s in the dollar store next door where I was supposed to meet him after putting the dog food in the car. The car I am now sitting next to. I have no way to get his attention because my phone is dead and also in my bedroom because it’s useless when not plugged into the wall.

Luckily the people parked next to us come out the store and see Mr fuck leg the fucked leg boy sitting on his bag of dog food between the cars and bless this family they help me out. By trying to get roommate out of the dollar store. Which doesn’t work. So they get the dollar store manager. Who then gets roommate out of the store. I was probably sitting there for 10 minutes or so. They had kids so I’m really trying not to let them see how fucked up the rapidly growing ankle balloon is.

But yeah. Eventually roommate come out the dollar store. And get this, he does the same shit my mom did every time anything ever fucking happened to me and is all “okay if it were really broken you’d be screaming right now” as I’m finally able to prop myself up enough to get into the car. That fucking triggered me real bad and I had a breakdown in the car while he went back into the dollar store to continue shopping.

Then we went to get food.

Then we went to costco.

He said that he would take me home and then if it was “still bad tomorrow” he’d take me to the ER.

So he tries to help me out of the car to the house.

I cannot put weight on the right leg either. It is agony. He’s trying to support the bad leg but the other leg need support too. A weaker man would have screamed but I just dropped to the parking lot ground and cried.

Made an attempt to crawl to the house but the gravel on my knees was just too much on top of everything else.

So FINALLY the ER is back on the menu. Ex roommate comes out because I need someone to support each foot. And they take me to their car and they drive me to the ER and I’m trying to eat a baconator while my foot is reminding me that we should have stayed as tiktaalik. you know, not fucking biped I want semi aquatic too please please please youre nothing

The wheelchairs in the ER are designed to offer full body support but the damn things are so hard to maneuver around and cannot be user operated. So I was sitting there having to get pushed around feeling like a dumb fuck because I hate needing assistance to move I hate it I hate it I hate it. I kept reaching down expecting to find the wheel handles but they weren’t there.

ER was... fun. There was a cool cartoon I’ve never seen before “Craig of the Creek” playing on the TV. I really want to see more of it I really liked it. But a fucking anti vax guy (YEAH REALLY) was swearing and bitching because there were kids shows on the TV This show was the only comfort I fucking had. Craig was spoonfeeding me comfort with his little freeze to death without your winter clothes adventure (RIP to him but I’m different)

But yeah. Once being treated it was all really nice. My ability to make constant jokes about fucked up injury death and suffering is a really good stress relief. Shout out to the xray tech who totally understood I use dark humor to cope and in response to my joke about how if I was a horse they'd just shoot me that I would “make wonderful glue” the other people were also very kind but I kinda felt they were intimidated by how “jovial” I was about the whole thing. Like yeah. I’m “handling it well” because that’s my whole strategy. Inside I’m screaming “please not the plates please not the plates please not the plates” (I am scared of having metal plates and screws.) Fortunately the stupid little cringe bone broke just low enough on the bone that I don’t have to get the plates and screws. I was literally begging Spot and she answered.

In my moment of weakness I decided that the true nature of the “Spot Power” is that she makes it so that when I’m going through shit I’m always “being so brave about it”

I kept thinking about how Cazza thought I had abandoned her though and while roommate did give her her evening walkies she was stressed and puked on the walk. Which fucking ruined my life and I cried more hearing that than the fucking leg.

So yeah. In canada crutches and the foot boot actually cost money. I’m out like 100 dollars. Plus like 30 because roommate wanted gas. I’m just used to it by now. I definitely need to plug Cazza’s gofundme again now though. Have no clue how I’m even going to take her to her appointments. I am hesitant to hope that roommate will give her as good walks as she needs.

There were more tears over the fact that I was going to fail Cazza than that I actually broke my fucking ankle.

This shouldn’t be a shock. I knew that eventually my visual impairment and my physical disability were going to team up on me and fuck up my body even worse somehow. Always thought it was going to be stairs though. A small comfort is apparently the x ray department has had four other people come in about the exact same curb. Yeah I kid you not. The curb between the redacted dollar store and the redacted pet store confirmed for Heart of Darkness 2: Andy Ankle Adventure

They were supposed to give me more pain meds but I guess I didn’t pick them up or they forgot or something. My brain is fried so i have no idea at all.

Crutches are a massive learning curve for someone with depth issues and balance issues. I almost fell face first on the goddamn crutches several times. If I wasn’t broke and you know, if I couldn’t fucking not leg broken walk leg I would go to hardware store and make a wheeling seat thing like those scooters in gym class and then I’d have Cazza pull me on walks. That would work.

Big issue is in and out of our place is fucking stairs. Yeah. I crawled up them on hands and knees. No way in hell with my already fucking broken mobility could I go crutches up them. I have to hold onto railing or I fall down stairs so crawling it was.

I can technically take the boot off to sleep but the tightness makes it so much better so fuck that. Wish I had the rolling elementary school gym class scooter so I could drag myself around the house.

Cazza doted on me like nothing else. She tried to brace me going up the stairs but she’s not big enough for what I’d need with this fucking leg problem. She helped me change out of my clothes though. Even though she’ll never be certified she’s still my everything.

The she cuddled close to me until I had calmed down and now she’s fast asleep in her bed. I am so glad I ended up giving her her bath before going out.

I am going to attempt to make it to my bloodwork appointment tomorrow. I have rescheduled that due to chemo appointments too many times.

I can’t remember if I’m forgetting anything else. Honestly my roommate telling me the exact same shit my mom did just fucking hurt so bad. I think I know my own body better than you do. Like I’ve told him about how she didn’t believe me and I had to beg her to take me to the hospital and he ended up doing the exact same shit. All because I didn’t outwardly exhibit being in enough pain apparently.

I just hate how being disabled you always have to fucking prove you’re disabled. Like I was expected to somehow walk back to the house and up the stairs but when I got to go to the ER yeah fucking broken lol.

I just wish I had parents. I need taking care of. I always did and I never got it.

I’m scared for the future. I don’t know how I’m going to manage or how I’m going to provide for Cazza.

I wish breaking my ankle could have made Cazza’s cancer go away

#text post #negative #long post #cw: injury #broken bones #ask me to tag #cw: medical

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dndaddyissues · 5 years

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What's scarier, one cr 12 monster or three cr four monsters?

i love this question… because i love talking about combat!! HUGE response incoming about combat theory, tactical thinking, and creative ways to design combat encounters – click the readmore if you’re interested!

if by “scary” you mean “more challenging” and, to me as a DM, ultimately “more fun,” then i would have to say… the more, the merrier. because your PC’s are a lot more likely to slaughter a solo monster, no matter the CR (and i’ll get to that in a second) than to slaughter a group of monsters working together. O ACTION ECONOMY!

which brings me to a tangent/thing i’ve wanted to discuss/post about for a while on this blog so i suppose i’ll start with this ask –

i’m a HUGE fan of “monkeying with monsters,” as matt colville would put it. i’ve been implementing some of his creative combat theories in my recent sessions, and they’ve been paying huge dividends in terms of player engagement, tactical thinking, unexpected playouts, and overall fun.

basically, the idea is this: when designing a combat encounter, throw away the CR calculator (i know, i know, but hear me out), and tinker the shit out of the monster(s) in question.

i used to just plug my players’ levels into a CR calculator, look at the appropriate CR for a “challenging” fight, and pick my favorite monsters for the fight that were also setting-appropriate.

but i realized that this method was churning out rather predictable fights. a group of goblins against a level-2 party can be fun, but it’s run-of-the-mill: the goblins might coordinate tactically, especially if they were under the control of a bugbear chieftain or a goblin shaman, but other than that, they’re just stepping up to the players, hitting, getting hit, and dying.

this can be fun, don’t get me wrong, but after several other combat encounters like this, can get kinda… well… boring. predictable. for me, at least.

so, i started homebrewing bonus actions, reactions, and special villain actions for my monsters. especially the special ones: the mini-bosses, the bosses, and the random encounter monster (which i personally think should be challenging, deadly, and – if at all possible – plot relevant, or at least setting-relevant; but that’s just how i like to roll. otherwise it’s just like, “an ankheg pops out of the ground and – oh, it’s dead. you killed him, because you had all of your spell slots and hit points from your long rest. oh well.”)

i’ll use an example from one of my recent sessions. in this one, a party of five Level 3 players were going up against a Spectator – whose CR, at 3, is much lower than what 5 Level 3 players normally consider a challenge.

so i buffed its AC. i gave it twice as many hit points. and i gave it a special bonus action that allowed it to grapple a player with its tongue (which makes sense, cause if you look at a spectator, they’ve got freaky tongues) if the player was within 10 feet of it.

the spectator already has a reaction, and it’s a pretty good one: spell reflection. but because only one of my 5 players was a pure caster, i gave it another special reaction that I called “Terrifying Visage,” to make my martial fighters’ lives harder. basically, every time a melee attack misses the spectator, the Spectator can force a Wisdom save that, upon a failure, makes the player Frightened of it until the end of their next turn.

finally, the pièce de résistance: i gave the spectator 3 distinct villain actions. each villain action triggers at the end of a different round; the 1st one triggers at the end of round 1, the 2nd one at the end of round 2, the 3rd on round 3. you could definitely make more, but i tend to find solo monsters don’t last past round 3 against a well-equipped party – no matter the CR. (unless they’re the BBEG.)

at the end of the first round, my spectator’s villain action was to summon my PCs’ “Evil Selves” out of mirrors scattered throughout the battlemap. this made sense story-wise, and setting-wise, as the PCs had just spent last session grappling with what their dark sides could look like.

the manifestation of these Evil Selves was enough to startle and thrill the players, and i made a show out of taking my players’ character sheets, copying down their weapon information and skills, and giving their sheets back. this definitely freaked out my players!

i placed my PCs’ Evil Selves right above their respective characters in the initiative order, so their Evil Selves always went right before they did. needless to say, my players ended up targeting their Evil Selves instead of the spectator, even though it would have been “smarter” tactically to do so – but i didn’t punish them excessively for this, as it provided great roleplay material.

at the end of the second round, my spectator’s villain action was to “focus fire” – basically, the spectator ordered the Evil Selves to move away/disengage from their respective players without triggering opportunity attacks, and target a specific player. i chose the rogue, because she had insulted the spectator during the fight, and it made sense roleplay wise. otherwise, i would have chosen the warlock, who was the one dealing the most DPR to the spectator and the biggest tactical threat. but i loved the rogue’s roleplaying, so i decided to go for her.

unfortunately, my spectator died before it could trigger the third villain action. i’ll let you guys know what it was – i was going to have the spectator give a “kill” order to the Evil Selves, and they would all make an attack against the rogue (or whoever was nearest at that point, if the PCs moved around or the rogue disengaged), without it having to be their turn.

i designed the first villain action to be a big, “WHOA!!” moment for the players. the second villain action was about positioning – getting the Evil Selves into the right place to make the third villain action hurt the most. and the third villain action, of course, was my “trump” card – i doubt the rogue would have survived the kill order. thankfully, the battle didn’t last that long!

that’s a LONG-WINDED way of responding to your ask, but i hope this was useful in at least some small way! that’s how i buffed up a solo villain that was CR 3 against a party of 5 Level 3 players. according to one of my players, who’s been playing DND for 20 years, even though her character was paralyzed for two of the three rounds that the battle lasted, she was hanging on to every moment with bated breath. because although she’d encountered spectators before – many DND monsters before, in fact, due to her long tenure as a player – she had no idea what was going to happen next. which i take as a great sign.

ALL OF THIS is ripped directly from matt colville’s “building action-oriented monsters” video from his “running the game” youtube series, which is a fantastic resource i’d recommend to any DM who hasn’t heard of him already. please check him out and support his work if you can!

#ask #dnd #dnd ideas #dm tips #dnd combat #dnd inspiration

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fereality-indy · 4 years

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Thoughts on monster!falls AU, specifically regarding were-Wendy and Deerper?

I actually have my own take on monster falls.

Stan/Ford/Robbie/Pacifica/Wendy stay the same

Mabel - Unicorn centaur

Dipper - Satyr (Never could stand him being a cervitaur)

Soos - pinochio-esque golem

Candy - Kumiho (korean take on the kitsune or ninetailed fox)

Grenda - rock golem

Tambry - Dhampir (also known as a living vampire and with her need for blood {and Robbie's lack of blood} has soured their relationship, she now spends more time with Wendy, Dipper, Mabel, & Pacifica)

Lee - dwarf (with a righteous beard)

Nate - naga

Thompson - cherub (Robbie tried to get him to renew he & Tambry's love but Thompson saw it was a forced love and wouldn't do that to a friend)

Manly Dan -Were-bear

Corduroy boys - youngest to oldest; were-boar, were-cougar, and a were-ox.

Gideon - a lil stay puft marshmallow man... ok not really but I can't remember off the top of my head. I just don't see him as a vampire. ok looked it up I had him as a leprechaun or a small ork like creature.

Fiddleford - clockwork golem or a folklore version of a gremlin (both are mechanically inclined)

Tate - devil monkey

Toby Determined - goblin

Lazy Susan - catwoman

Tyler Cutebiker - gingerbread man

And really I don’t see it changing their dynamic that much at all other than focusing on trying to reverse the curse and everyone having to stay in GF at the end of the summer.

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agentsokka · 5 years

Text

Nott’s Conflicting Narratives

[[Spoilers for Campaign 2 up to Episode 75]]

Man. D’you ever get the need to talk about how much you love your favorite character? Because I am feeling PASSIONATE for a specific little goblin girl right now.

I love Nott. She’s the peanut butter to my jam, the sugar to my spice, the awkward green butterball mushing around in my heart. She’s my absolute FAVORITE character of the cast and one of my all-time favorite characters in general. So, of course, I feel the need to bend over backwards, snap my spine into a pretzel, and projectile vomit my absolute love for this woman all over your dashes.

In this piece, I wanted to talk about her personal growth over the story and how she’s evolved from what viewers believed was merely a skittish, oddball of a green powder monkey klepto into an equally odd but emotionally resonant mother desperate to reclaim her life and family.

In my opinion, Nott’s overarching story revolves around a mother attempting to recapture her personal narrative from a world that has tried to tear it away from her.

Let’s first establish Nott’s position as the “mother” of the Mighty Nein.

Time for a recap.

As we discover in episode 49, Nott is a little goblin girl, who was once a young halfling woman, who was once a halfling child. In her desperate dash to protect her family from goblin kidnappers, the halfling woman known as Veth Brenatto is recaptured and put to death. Her corpse is then reanimated into the flesh puppet goblin suit we know and love today. In this process, her skin, body, and even mind are reconstructed to be more goblin-esque – a situation which Veth vehemently despises. To put distance between herself and her former life, she renames herself “Nott the Brave,” an anagram of Veth Brenatto.

“They made me everything… that I thought I was. Not pretty…not good. Just not.”

This event is significant for a multitude of reasons, primarily of which revolve around Nott’s relationship with motherhood.

In her essay The Symbolic Annihilation of Mothers in Popular Culture, Berit Astrӧm (2015) observes that mother characters are routinely devalued in popular culture via what she terms “symbolic annihilation.” Gaye Tuchman (1978) originally coined the phrase to describe the way in which media trivializes, condemns, or outright excludes mothers, but Astrӧm extends it to include the removal of mothers from narratives entirely.

We’ve seen this play out time and time again: for example, how many times have we questioned “what happened to the mother” in Disney movies? Often, we see that their exclusions leave little impact on the story and characters, with many media franchises unceremoniously minimizing the mother’s very existence as if it held no more meaning than an ironically titled paperweight.

Now, how does this apply to Nott?

Nott’s character is an inversion of this trope. Although she is killed by the goblins as per the trope’s wont, the narrative does not revolve around her son or husband trying to cope with her loss. Instead, the narrative remains centered on she the mother as this little goblin girl punches a fist through the earth and screams NOT TODAY SATAN. Her story revolves around her identity as a mother, and it takes shape in a plethora of different ways.

Nott exhibits many atypical characteristics that are not commonly associated with the idealized form of “motherhood.” She’s loud, she’s boisterous, she’s mischievous. She’s self-admittedly “strange” and eccentric. She saw it suit to dump a pitcher of cucumbers and proceed to eat them off the ground. Absolutely no one can convince me that this a goblin-specific trait and not just Nott being her weird little self.

And yet, Nott exhibits many typically feminine/motherly traits as well. In spite of her vulgarities, she’s gentle and kind towards Caleb, and it takes some time for their relationship to evolve beyond that. She likes dresses! She likes feeling pretty even though the situation rarely allows her to be. She likes to collect buttons and baubles and cutesy trinkets. And most of all, Nott expresses love. Beau’s the first person in the group to say it to someone else, but Nott is the first of anyone to emphatically express her love for this ragtag group of misfits they’ve wrangled together.

“I know we have things to do, and I want to do them, but the reason I want to find these people and rescue them is not to use them, or not because we’ve invested time in them. But it’s because… I love them.”

Nott is very much “the Heart” of the Mighty Nein, in spite of her idiosyncrasies and eccentricities. In this sense, she views herself as their mother – not just as Caleb’s parental figure, but the entirety of the group. It’s not just a meme, with adoption papers scrawled across a series of barbeque-stained napkins in chicken scratch. Over time, she’s genuinely adopted the M9 as her own, welcoming them under her stubby wings. Nott has said as much several times, but most significantly in episode 76, when she told Caleb that she wanted to protect everyone on their own individual quests.

“I protected you so that you could go on your journey and find yourself and fulfill your quest. I feel like I’ve got to do that for everyone now because, I don’t know, deep down inside it feels like my quest might not be done till everyone else has figured out who they are and what they want in this world. Everyone’s seeking something, you know?”

This protection – this overwhelming need to shield, to safeguard, to provide security and aegis – is crucial to recognizing what Nott is as a parent. A protector. A defender. Nott firmly believes that protection is representative of parenthood, its indistinguishable mirror image.

How do I know this? Nott confirmed it word-for-word in episode 13, when she explained her relationship with Caleb to the rest of the M9.

“Caleb and I have a very special…relationship. And it’s that of a parent and a child. But I am the parent, you do understand that, correct? I protect him. He’s my boy, and I keep him safe. … It’s my job to protect him, because I love him, and I am his protector.”

Nott clearly associates parenthood with protection. She reiterates it again and again. If you fall under her protection, you are her child. It doesn’t matter how old you are, how strong you are, how quick you are – she will protect you to the very last inch of her life. And over the course of the campaign, many, many times over, she’s nearly given said life to ensure the protection of others. An early example is when Nott threw her body over Caleb’s to shield him from attack. In 45, she drew the blue dragon’s attack to save Jester, shaving her hit points down to 1.

Nott again establishes this in 76.

“So I feel like, I need to be there to protect you all. To rescue you when there’s a dragon about to kill you and use my body as a shield; or to pull Beauregard out of the mouth of a worm; or to catch you when someone falls with a feather fall spell.”

This is a fundamental aspect of her character, and explains the majority of her actions. Even though she’s anxious and scared, Nott powers through her fears to protect her loved ones at any cost necessary – with a few nips to soothe her nerves, of course.

And as sweet as this gremlin of a goblin is, she doesn’t extend her protection to everyone she meets – she’s self-sacrificial, but only to her proverbial children, after they’ve spent more than enough time becoming comfortable with one another. In episode 75, for example, Nott suggested that Reani was expendable and thus should go first when facing the dragon. She likes Reani, sure, but if it came down to her and the M9? The outsider would be the first to go.

This further lends itself to the idea that Nott perceives protection as parenthood, self-sacrifice as motherly duty – she’s not just a nice gal throwing down her life in order to ensure the welfare of others, but only for the select few she deems in need of her protection.

However, Nott isn’t just a mother, which comes to the crux of this post. For the majority of the campaign, Nott has primarily identified as a mother figure – to Luc, to Caleb, to the M9 at large. But over time, she’s steadily developed into wanting to be more than just a mother. At the very least, she’s expressed her desires more openly over the course of the show as time has gone on. This development intersects with her identity issues as Nott struggles to reconcile two conflicting lives.

Throughout her short life – and I do mean short, she’s only about 25 (I’m turning 25 this month and the extent to which this little goblin has pushed herself through sends me into anxiety just by association) – Nott’s life has followed a very, shall we say, standard route. She’s always been someone’s daughter – someone’s wife – someone’s mother. Veth Brenatto grew up the small town of Felderwin with very few expectations of their people beyond the usual sort, assuming that said small town followed real-world small-town culture. As such, Veth traversed domestic paths in life, not straying far from those expectations. In spite of her intelligence and capabilities, Veth remained a housewife essentially, assisting Yeza when need be and taking care of Luc. This narrative held steady for some time.

And everything changed when the Fire Nation goblins attacked.

Veth’s narrative as a mother, as a wife, as a little halfling from the little hovel hole of Felderwin, was abruptly disrupted when she became Nott. Her narrative was stolen from her, manipulated and perverted into something she deemed grotesque. Forced to co-exist with the tribe, Nott becomes the torturer’s assistant – the absolute antithesis to motherhood in the representative forebearer of violence, depravity, and death. Her desire to nurture and protect is met with oppression and bloodshed.

It’s no wonder Nott detests the narrative the goblins thrust upon her. Her goblin exterior fundamentally represents a life forced upon her, a narrative chosen without her consent.

“I just don't like how I feel when I see my hands or my feet. They just feel wrong. I want to be different.”

“I'll be honest. I've started forgetting what it feels like to be a halfling, to be me. I don't remember everything any more. I feel like every day I'm more and more goblin. I don't like it at all. I don't like myself at all.”

“There's still something that's not right about this. This is not my body. It's just not me. And people liking you is nice, and people accepting you is nice. But if you feel wrong inside your own skin, then, well, you can't be a good mother or a good wife, or a good anything, really.”

Upon escaping, her narrative again changes: she’s no longer anyone’s assistant, but existing for herself. And only herself. Before she meets Caleb, she’s alone, unwanted by the populace at large and unable to return to Felderwin. She’s no longer a mother – just detested vermin looking to steal and connive, so people would believe.

That is partially why, in my opinion, she adopts Caleb as her own so quickly. Of course, Nott sees him as a means to an end in the beginning, as does he. They both admit that they had ‘other intentions’ in staying together than purely out of goodness of their hearts. However, it is evident that well before the campaign started, these two forged a bond that went beyond that of convenience. Nott fills the hole in her heart, the hole in her very narrative, by becoming Caleb’s adoptive mother, assisting him in his ventures and protecting him whenever need be. By doing this, she is able to choose for herself, to differentiate herself from the goblin’s narrative of pain and misery. She is no longer just “not,” she is Nott, Nott the Brave.

As was aforementioned, Nott’s motherhood narrative grows to include the rest of the M9. However, with time, she reaches a conflict within herself: while she hates being a goblin, she enjoys her new lifestyle. Is she afraid? She’s fucking petrified. Yet like the rest of the group, she’s fallen in love with adventuring, the highs and lows that demonstrate the extent of her capabilities. Nott isn’t just an assistant anymore – she can do magic! She can fight, she can pick locks, she can adapt firearms and create explosive weaponry. Hell, she can wield a crossbow with the dexterity of an Olympic gymnast and liquidate giant spiders into bloody pastes on the wall. With the M9, she’s seeing the world, far beyond the borders of Felderwin and her small-town life.

And suddenly, Veth’s narrative as a stay-at-home mom isn’t so appealing anymore.

Is there a problem inherent to existing as a housewife and full-time mother? No, of course not. Nevertheless, Nott has found herself in a strange position – she longs for her old life and family, ripped away from her by the gnarled claws of fate, yet remains enthralled by the wonders this new narrative can offer her.

In 36, Nott reveals to Cadeuceus that she believes the M9 could be representative of a new life for her – a new narrative.

“I’m not a religious lady, but I will tell you that, for me, this journey with the group has been a bit of a sign. … A sign that there could be, for all of us, another chapter.”

It’s a new chapter, a new narrative, a new life for Nott. One she could never have imagined possible for her in the confines of her small town. And by god, does she want to live it. Nott expressed this desire to live this life to its fullest, to live this new narrative to its fullest, in 27 after Molly’s death.

“Mollymauk was a rainbow man who represented life at its fullest. And. That’s what I want, even more than… even more than what we’re going for before. Together, we’re sort of living life now, aren’t we? And before, we were… in the darkness, so. … I want to find them so we don’t go back to the way it was, when we were hiding in the shadows and, and ducking into alleys to get away from people. We were safe, but we weren’t really alive, right? With these people, we’re having fun and winning contests. And. And killing bad guys, and rescuing children…it’s amazing.”

I’m of the opinion that Nott’s speech is reflective of both her experiences with Caleb as well as her own in Felderwin. She was living before – and she enjoyed it, yes! She obviously loves Yeza and Luc. But now, she’s seeing what life can be like when lived to its fullest, seeing what life can be like when she spearheads her own narrative. She gleans inspiration from Mollymauk, who decided to head his own narrative and remain unrepentantly unconcerned with what his past might have been like. With his death, Nott becomes convinced that she needs to truly lead this life, lead this newfound narrative with this family she’s amassed.

But with that realization comes conflict once the dredges of Nott’s previous life begin seeping into her narrative. This is especially once Nott reunites with Yeza in Xhorhas.

“Caleb, I’m feeling uneasy. … I, because. What the fuck am I doing here? I just was reunited with my husband, and I’ve – I -- we were given a chance to go on an adventure and I jumped at it like that. Am I a bad person? I just left him, I ditched my husband in a den of monsters to go adventuring with you.”

Rather than hold down the fort with her newly reunited husband, Nott instinctively leaps at the chance for adventure, the chance to go out and see more of the world. She doesn’t even think about it, it’s just oh? A side quest? Well fuck me rosy, time to knock my crossbow. Because that’s what Nott would do, not Veth. And once she realizes what she’s done, Nott begins wondering if she’s a terrible person for living her life. She begins questioning her intentions, wondering whether her actions are the ploy of some subconscious desire to remain free, remain independent of her responsibilities.

“You don’t think I’m just…delaying the inevitable? Scared of going back to my old life, or anything?”

Nott further recognizes the disparity between her two lives and how wide the gulf between them yawns.

“It’s just, I just don’t know like. Is he gonna…even like me anymore, I’m so different. Not just physically, I do different things now. … Will I like it? I’ve gotten a taste of adventure and, and seeing the world, and now I’ve gotta go back and be a…a housewife again?”

Nott doesn’t even know if she wants to be called Veth anymore. Not by people who have come into her life since Veth’s apparent demise. When Caleb asks her in 59, she dismisses the question and asserts that they should just go with Nott for now.

She asks Caleb to tell her what she should do, in a desperate plea for someone else to give her direction in life. Because driving your own narrative is hard. It’s a painful, painful process, full of ups and downs and mistakes and setbacks. But Caleb fundamentally cannot decide her narrative for her -- it’s Nott’s narrative, not his. He can help her along and support her, but he will never be able to direct it. She has to do it for herself.

(As a side note: I love, love, love how far Nott and Caleb’s relationship has come. Prior to the Xhorhas arc, Nott never bothered him with her problems, drudging on ahead as she didn’t want to “distract” him from his personal quest. She’s exactly like a mother, masking her insecurities and fears from her young child so that they won’t worry about what they can’t control. And now, as her child has grown up and become more aware of his mother’s struggles, she’s leaning on him more and more for support. It truly mirrors parent-child relationships and is representative of how far these characters have grown over time.)

With these conversations, it becomes evident that Nott is seeking more than family, more than the life of a housewife. And yet, simultaneously, she embodies the narrative of a mother, loves being a mother, and loves the people in both her immediate and found families. To merge these narratives will be an almost insurmountable task, from her perspective -- how can you raise a family when you’re constantly adventuring? You can’t endanger their lives. Conversely, is it responsible of a parent to endanger their own life, potentially risking everything for adventure’s sake? To widow your husband and orphan your child if something goes horribly wrong? If she becomes a housewife again, how long can she keep up the charade pretending she’s a halfling? If she stays, will she forever remain uncomfortable in her own skin? How long will she even live? Nott is juggling so many plates, and dropping even one could result in the partial devastation of these narratives she’s cultivated.

And she’s scared. She’s really, really scared. Nott is petrified of what comes next -- she knows it’s inevitable that she’s going to have to face these conflicting narratives in the future. She knows she can’t ignore it forever. And that prospect terrifies her. She says this explicitly in episode 69.

“I'm just scared, that's all. I'm scared of...I'm scared of what happens next. You know? I don't know what's going to happen after this. I found my husband. I found my son. And I want to go back with them so much. ... But I'm worried that if I go back, that'll be it.”

This overwhelming, paralyzing sense of fear has driven Nott to drink. Even more so than usual. Over the course of the show, Nott has made no secret of her drinking habits. She’s a drunkard -- she knows it, the M9 knows it. You, me, and the NSA agent watching you behind the screen know it. But it’s no accident the M9 has begun commenting more and more on her habitual intoxication. She simply is more intoxicated than usual. She’s depending more and more on her alcoholism to get through each day.

Nott is of course afraid of enemies, of secret dangers lurking behind every corner. She’s a perpetually anxious person, constantly filled with frenetic energy. But these anxieties have worsened ten-fold with the inclusion of her intersecting narratives and responsibilities. And honestly? With all that going on in her brain, Nott just flat out doesn’t want to think about it. She wants to live in the moment -- not in the past, not in the future, but the present.

“I'm thinking about things. And I don't want to think about things. I don't want to think about anything. I just want to be on an adventure with you guys and that's all I want and I don't want to think about anything else past that.”

And so, she turns to drinking. As she tells Caleb, drinking is her own form of self-care. While she may protect others, she herself needs protection too -- from her own thoughts, fears, and inner demons. From the physical dangers that manifest in front of her very person.

“I know you all have my back, I know you all care for me, but no one has my front. So this flask that I drink from, it’s not for fun, I’m not taking nips because I’m looking for fun. If I wanted fun I’d be in Nicodranus with my family. This flask is my shield. It allows me to do these things, to go forward and to protect all of you.”

Nott needs to shield herself from fears that she may not come back to her family. She needs to shield herself from fears that she won’t find a remedy to her situation, that she won’t ever be Veth again. She needs to shield herself from fears that these conflicting narratives will never reconcile, thereby isolating her from either family she’s come to love as her own.

All in all, Nott is currently torn between two lives -- one whose existence is linked to traditional motherhood, and another whose fate is yet undecided. And yet, by continuing with the M9, Nott has found herself on the path towards potential self-realization. This route she treads has the potential to shed the narrative the goblins thrust upon her and totally make one anew, one that is her own. In that sense, it’s representative of what this narrative means as a whole: Nott is more than just a mother. She’s a mother with autonomy. A mother with hopes, dreams, and aspirations. Unlike Berit Astrӧm’s (2015) analysis of symbolic annihilation, she is more than just a paper cutout of idealized motherhood left to be abandoned.

Indeed, Nott can be a mother without being the mother archetype.

Nott will certainly struggle to reconcile these narratives. She loves being a mother, but she clearly wants to love herself too. She wants to be more than just a mother, and thus she quests to recapture her personal narrative -- one where she can be both a mother and retain her personal autonomy.

I love the nuance and complexity Sam has demonstrated with this character, and I’m sure we’re only going to see more in the future.

#Critical Role #Nott #Nott the Brave

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dailycharacteroption · 5 years

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Tatterdemalion (Witch Archetype)

Textiles are an integral part of many civilizations, as the art of weaving, stitching, and tanning do so much to protect us from our environment and help decorate our bodies. Truly these arts have been an integral part of many cultures spreading as far and wide as they are, not to mention shaping them in other ways.

It only makes sense, then, that there would be powerful mages out there capable of using magic to manipulate thread.

Called tatterdemalions due to how their clothing often briefly or permanently becomes threadbare after using their powers, these witches are not necessarily worthy of that title in the traditional sense, coming from all walks of life, not just the poor.

These witches may be favored by patrons associated with civilization and craftsmanship, or perhaps by decay and destruction, depending on whether they see, to manipulate thread and then put it back in place, or unravel everything into chaos.

With their association with woven materials, these witches are surprisingly skilled with weapons that use woven fibers, such as nets, whips, bolas, and the like.

Starting out, these witches are somewhat limited in their most minor of magics, able to manipulate the environment around themselves with nearly-invisible fibers.

As they grow in power, they learn spells to manipulate rope, and unravel their clothing to use as weapons or manipulating limbs.

However, they also learn how to destroy fabric as well, and can set up a destructive rot or consumption in fabric objects with a touch.

Later on, these witches learn to conjure thread, either in the form of an object made from plant fibers, or in the form of a web of tangled strings to entrap foes.

Dipping into the realm of the sinister, a tatterdemalion can use their fibers to stitch a foe’s eyelids or mouth closed. While not as brutal as doing so manually would be, it is still extremely painful to remove these threads, leaving the foe bleeding and inhibited until healed.

The most powerful of these mystics learn the secrets of transmuting their own bodies to thread, allowing them to rapidly escape away from a strike to reform elsewhere.

An interesting archetype that offers some additional melee options, as well as battlefield control and debuffs, this is an option that is mostly favored by those looking for a neat, thematic power set rather than a specific build, but their combination of utility and combat abilities make them useful in various regards, so I recommend a build with a little bit of everything to account for many situations, or perhaps a more specialized build, relying on conjured threads to deal with things they cannot.

I could definitely see this archetype arising alongside the art of weaving, possibly a gift from the gods, or some secret won in a contest of mastery of the loom. The history of it is left to you. Perhaps the name tatterdemalion might have arisen in cultures that have forgotten the value of the skill, or the value of the labor behind it.

Nivaran Hemp, when cured right, is indistinguishable from the many thick vines that crisscross Nivara Rainforest, a fact that the monkey goblins use to their advantage, creating complex traps for prey and intruders alike. Some are even able to command the ropes to move on their own, dressing in clothing woven from the same.

The Weaver of Dreams is a common patron to both dreamweaver witches and tatterdemalions alike, combining the metaphor of creativity in the mind and in the physical world. What few know is that this being is in fact the great wyrm Kilbareth, a mighty dream dragon and textile enthusiast.

Konwan fashion revolves around the Empress’s tastes in long, flowing garments, but the elaborate silken garb of Her Eminence is no mere fashion statement, for she carries an incredible control over thread in addition to her other magics

#pathfinder #archetype #witch #tatterdemalion #monkey goblin #dream dragon #dragon #Horror Adventures

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lanamemories2 · 4 years

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Startled by the sound of his door opening, Lana turned after making her last adjustments. She’d been hanging his birthday gift by his window, a prime spot for the breeze to stir if the latch was undone. Strung up on a homemade mobile, one she’d recruited the help of various minions to make, dangled twelve separate origami animals, each a different colour. All had a personalised message from one of Dom’s friends, if you spread the paper flat to read them.

Ducky’s said ‘cool guy :)’ and was folded into a bear. Navy white pinstripe.

Philly’s only had a little goblin doodled on holding a fistful of socks. The paper was an expensive kind, white with mint and lilac glitter. Folded into a caterpillar. Lana liked this one because caterpillar’s have butterflies inside them and she feels the magic in Philly is sourly overlooked by the general population -- she’s the most likely person Lana knows to sprout wings and fly away.

Viktor’s was far too explicit with a recurring mention of cock. It could not be included in the gift.

Maggie’s was a wolf. Lana drew a little smiley face below the snout that wasn’t quite fitting, but it felt friendlier, that way, more Maggie -- paired with a dainty floral paper, too. It had a quote written on from Americanah by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. “She rested her head against his and felt, for the first time, what she would often feel with him: a self-affection. He made her like herself.” It finished with “love you, Maggie x”.

Marlowe’s was a tiger. Flame orange, eye catching. On it, it said: ‘anyone who's put up with my shit for almost four years deserves a medal of some kind... like pinned to their lapel and personally engraved and everything. i got outbid on ebay so I don't have a fancy medal to give you...so instead i'll just say, you're a good guy dom evans! and I hope you have a fucking awesome birthday man. if anyone deserves only good things its you :)‘.

Rosa’s was folded into a monkey. Pink paper, in the end, because Rosa makes Lana think of love and blushing and sunsets. ‘dom i can't believe you're 23 today, you're an old man now!!! when i was just an embarrassing 12 year old and made those happy 15th bday shirts for you i was so obsessed with you because a small part of you thought you were an angel on earth and you'd come to protect me but it's nice to know now that we can protect each other. i'm still going to wear those 15th bday shirts for the rest of the week so everyone knows, i think your life is the most celebration worthy thing in existence. and if you want to know i am, in fact, hoping that i never marry so that by the time i'm 35 we can just run off together, preferably with franklin in tow, and have a worry free life, it's what you deserve. i love you forever dominic james evans!!!‘

Kasey’s was a fish in a pastel shade, sweet like a ripe peach. ‘Happy birthday Dom, you're the best of the best!!‘

Jude’s was a sloth. Deeper blue. Lana hassled him to write Dom one despite the fact they aren’t even particularly close. On it, he wrote: ‘Dunno you that well but you seem alright. Lana’s pacing as I write, clearly riled her up enough. Saw your ass in full view, high definition. Was decent. Good work soldier. Back to the trenches. Happy birth and shit.’.

Gunner’s was a dog. She did her best to capture the essence of a golden retriever with yellow paper, given that this was his family pet’s breed. Notably, she drew a very large dick onto the origami between it’s legs -- assuring Gunner Paxton’s legacy wasn’t overlooked. ‘in first year i had a hard time making friends and you saw me struggling in the caf when i sprained my wrist so you offered to help me cut up my food and i thought it was weird but it was the first time a stranger showed me care in such a specific way now i always feel cared for with you and it's nice so thanks for being you and happy bday‘.

Jack’s was a lion. Below the paper mane Lana wrote ‘NOT UGLY’ in small, block font, almost fashioned like a collar. The paper was faded black and white, referee striped -- tribute to his time coaching little league. Unfolded, it says: ‘dearest cousin Dominic, you are my favorite cousin even when you peed on me that one time at the beach because you said it would keep the jellyfish away. thank you for always throwing the football around with me and even being okay with it if i threw it too hard and it hit your nose and made it bleed and we had to tell my dad you tripped over a rock. happy birthday let’s get fucked! Love Your Best Friend, Jack Hall :P’.

Will’s was a shark, folded from paper slicked to look like an oil spill, gleaming in the light -- dark and technicolour, all at once. Lana drew sunglasses over the eyes. ‘sorry i tried to dye your hair purple that one time. you're kind of great even if statistically you shouldn't be since you're an RA. that's fucking bizarre of you, by the way. you seem to be one of those people that's genuinely good which is also fucking bizarre but i figure if anyone around here deserves a good year, it's you. happy fucking birthday don't die xoxo‘

Marla’s was a pigeon. Oxblood red. She wanted a vicious city-dwelling creature that feasted on the flesh of abandoned McDonald’s fries. ‘you are more worthy than a thousand plates of ikea meatballs. you can seize life by the balls. the meatballs. extended meatball metaphor. you are a leaf floating on an amber river. you are a cherry blossom caught in a ceiling fan. if auras existed yours would be INCREDIBLY fucking sexy. you will live a long life and father approximately 333.3 children.’

Noah’s was a sky blue dog with a doodled strand of wheat from it’s mouth. ‘hey man happy birthday :) not to get all sappy but im really grateful to know you. don't know if luck is real but if it is, hope this brings you some of the best of it there is’. A drawing of a little four leaf clover after the message.

There was a thirteenth string without anything attached and Lana almost took it as an omen of how unlucky it was, her opening up in this way, how much she’d come to see it as a curse. But she held it in her hands, anyway. A swan as white as the Betta fish she’d pointed out as him at the aquarium. Wishing star white. Whiter than an angel. The most Dom paper she could think to fold it from, when she woke up and realised she’d been dreaming about him.

“Hey,” she breathed with a laugh, cat burglar caught with the ruby in gloved hands. By all practical accounts, she’d broken and entered. “Charmed my way in. Wanted to, um... Was meant to be a surprise, like, an in and out job, and... I told some other RA Gunner left his inhaler here and he went all crazed, like, Action Man, whipping out a master key. Totally Oscar worthy. Should probably... let him know Gunner isn’t dead, later, but. Wanted to give you your present. It’s, um... I mean, it’s everyone,” came as she sifted gently at Philly’s caterpillar, smile bubbling to the surface. “I got them all to write you stuff. It isn’t, like, crazy, or anything, but.” Lana wet her lips, excitement overflowing -- she couldn’t seem to smother her smile. “This... is mine.” That did it. It faded as her eyes dropped. She pinched the swan delicately in both hands, then, blood rushing in her ears -- it provided amusing contrast, the coy blush in her cheeks with the devil horns she’d slid into her hair, a costume nobody had asked for. “Kinda wrote it... a while ago. It’s -- I don’t know,” she second guessed, laughing again at how dumb she was sure she sounded. Gestures like this always scared her, when she really meant them, felt like far too much. “You can read it, if you wanna.” @domfm

#c: dom #ok. disclaimed 2 all on the dash bc i already privately told ella this. this starter is insanely long bt its gna shrink in size sm this isnt #the actual thread length. i jst cldnt avoid writing a lot w the nature of. the gift...n desc......#ok.... thank u... apologies........to all #long post tw

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