#she is a ''monkey goblin'' specifically | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

r0ttengrimmz · 1 year ago

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The little shit bags- I mean darling cherubs💕

I never intended on making designs of Chazz and Kore's little crotch goblins. But uh here we are.

((Bonus: Ekou with snazzy sunglasses))

Tbh I'm impressed how I have the energy to sketch all three designs, so either it's a sign I'm gonna burn out soon or what 💀

Anyways the kids.

Kenji: Fucking whore. Jk. Kinda. Big momma's boy, kinda had beef with Chazz for a little while when Kore and Chazz were separated for two years during his childhood years, but he speaks to Chazz more often now and has a better relationship with him. Literally is the embodiment of a gifted and intelligent student now is a severely burnt out and tired moody bitch. Has more fucking break ups because he literally doesn't fucking understand relationships well and has a lot of inner problems with himself. Eventually gets better, working on himself. Massive bipolar disorder. Is an asshole because...literally he is one, not because of his bipolar. Very confrontational and argumentative when he is being accused for shit he has never done. Can't see Duel spirits, but can hear them?? Assumed he was just hearing things. Also a big lover of dueling. Very competitive but can be hella petty if he loses. Hates the smell of hospitals and medial equipment, it makes him physically ill and very anxious (lore related lmao).

Himari: Resting bitch face 24/7, is genuinely very sweet and shy. Is she glaring at you from across the room in a terrifying manner?? Oh don't worry she's squinting her eyes trying to read the board behind you. Very passive, rarely loses her temper. Has the fucking literal patience of a Saint. Unless you catch her on a bad day and you set her off, don't be surprised if you find yourself smacked through the wall. Works out a lot, mainly to distract herself or pass time originally. Plus used to have trouble with carrying heavy shit due to her previous weak and frail physique, so wanted to be able to carry shit better (cough also to impress this crush she has on a girl cough). Loves to dress feminine and girly, tries to style her outfits a lot. Literal daddy's girl, yet gets embarrassed and shy when Chazz is kicking off with some kids or parents who might be mean or accusing Himari, and she has to physically remove him before she dies of embarrassment. Literally loves her dad but at times think he might go overboard, hence why she talks to her mom about certain issues and probably dating advice (don't even fucking say anything you seen that episode with Chazz tryna Duel Alexis to be his girlfriend, you should know why). Let's her emotions out when it comes to dueling, especially with how frustrated she gets or angry. Literally considered her Duel monsters her friends during her childhood due to lack of friends, only to look back and cringe. Doesn't realise her Duel spirits watch over her a lot and try to protect her.

Ekou: Accidental child. Literally was not fucking planned, he came as a fucking surprise. Yet was the most chill and easiest of the three to raise. Kinda. Despite how he was always found in odd places he shouldn't have been in. Definition of...that one weird kid in class you don't talk to but he is surprisingly chill af. Comes out with the most horrific and outlandish shit at times that everyone fucking turns and side eyes massively. Also, comes out with useless trivia about probably classic horror movie or slasher movies, adds nothing to the conversation. He just enjoys the cheesy block buster campy slashers and horror movies, no matter how dumb or ridiculous they are, he gets a laugh out of it. Also, attracts a lot of the evil and bad shit a lot. Like Jaden 2.0, yet no fucking idea why. Ekou tends to find himself in what seems to be friendly little duels only for it to be duels where he nearly dies (specifically these happen during his mid to late teens). At this point he's not phased anymore he's more so expecting it and is like "so what is it today, three monkeys trying to disguise as a man while standing on one another or some giant bulking cloaked mysterious man who threatens my friends and loved ones?" He just at this point tries walking away to avoid it yet his ass gets dragged in. Surprisingly fucking smart, he just can't be bothered to do the homework he gets given. Definitely collects magical girl figures. Mainly cause he finds them cute and adorable. Also owns a pet fucking fat tailed gecko he absolutely cherishes and adores. Takes care of it a lot, legit carries it everywhere with him, she just chills on his shoulder, in his jacket or on his head. However, like his dad, he can actually see Duel spirits. It kinda just happened one day when he was like five and he got startled when his duel monster was chilling next to him in bed. Actually treats his duel monsters well, talks to them a lot which...alarms people assuming he is just talking to himself. Also wears snazzy fucking sunglasses cause why not.

Will I ever post more about them? Probably not- I'll probably focus on the current cast etc. Unless I do post more about them then shoot me dead pls.

#my art #oc #ocs #my post #digital art #ibispaint art #yugioh gx #ygo gx #yugioh #ygo #chazz princeton #jun manjoume #yugioh oc

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countersguardian · 1 year ago

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I'd be careful. Syuen or even the Central Government might take interest in you and try and lay their claim.

"Oh they're welcome!~"

"We love Syuen over here! She has soooooooo many admirers!!!"

"The Central Government isn't a concern though. Maya is here! As such, The Outpost has its acting Commander."

"So when you think about it, Ennick stands to gain the most is Syuen's lil monkey brain starts turning any gears. She did say she wanted that little goblin's grey matter specifically."

"Be a real shame if our deal fell through... OH!"

"Now that I think about it.... Syuen's fate is in Maya's hands now, isn't it? I'm sure that'll be fine."

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blossombloodcurse · 5 months ago

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my top five best bg3 boss fights

Honorary Mention - it’s not a boss fight, but having to rescue ulder ravengard and the gondian prisoners and omeluum from the prison as it was flooding was really good. especially when mizora showed up and tried to stop us. stacked in my favor by the mod that lets you have everyone in your party at once, but i imagine it would be extremely difficult to do with the four party member limit. even with everyone in my party, it was the most tactical focused i got the entire game.

5. Fist Marcus - i liked that you had a time limit for incapacitating marcus before he left with isobel and you are sooooo fucked if he gets her. the first time i played it, i hadn’t been focusing on him and so she got snatched and everything sucked forever and i reloaded to save her. enjoyed the stakes

4. Gerringothe Thorm - i liked seeing the gold fly off her, monkey brain ooo reward yayyy

3. Cazador - the fight itself was fine/normal, but astarion getting snatched at the beginning of it raised the stakes, and then also the cutscenes surrounding it good

2. Orin - ultimate sibling showdown, i had a mod that raised the level cap to 20 and she still almost beat my ass in one on one combat, i was using lay on hands every other turn. plus all the cutscenes around it for durge were good. would be interested in seeing what the fight is like if you’re tav, but i bet it’s worse

1. Raphael - there’s a gulf between this fight and every other fight in the entire game. it’s on another level. the boss music. i rest my case.

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my top five most disappointing bg3 boss fights

5. Dror Ragzlin - mainly i just get frustrated because i don’t know how to do it stealthily like the other two goblin camp leader fights, now i gotta kill everyone :/

4. Lorroakan - thought he would be harder, but i rocked his shit. dude really thought he could capture aylin lmao. regular guy who thinks he can play tennis against serena williams energy.

3. Auntie Ethel - both of them. the first time i did it she stopped the fight and freed mayrina to bargain for mercy and i selected the wrong dialogue option, and when i reloaded it, i rocked her shit too hard and she just died, and then i couldn’t figure out how to get mayrina out of that cage so she died. and i was like well ok. i guess i’m done here. and then when she showed up again and was like “i have a human child in my stomach, you can’t kill me without killing the child” and i was like sad! well there’s other children. turns out i probably could have idk destroyed the mushrooms first or something idk. like with mayrina’s death, it wasn’t worth reloading. i just moved on with my life. the whole hag side plots ended up being just a big waste of my time.

2. Gortash - i just expected more. i killed him pretty shortly after he adopted his big avatar form so i didn’t spend much time with it. his grenade launchers were easy to disable or just throw the grenades back at him or just take the hit, not a huge issue. the cutscenes before and after were just about karlach, and there wasn’t any durge specific dialogue. i found it weird that karlach and i just never discussed that i used to work with him. i recognize i was overhyped by tumblr also, but still big letdown.

1. The Emperor - dude fuck off. i was so niceys to you at every turn, and really? you couldn’t just walk away over the orpheus stuff? you had to turn on me? and then you had the gall to not even have an interesting dialogue or cutscene about it. killed him really early in that fight and then the dragon was the bigger deal. just seems like such a huge missed opportunity. like they spent all this time with the emperor having us get to know him and debating whether we could trust him, and then he turns on us SO fast and it isn’t even interesting. die.

#not tagging because this is mainly for me #mostly i just think the raphael fight was so good and so much better than all the others #i looked up a list to remind myself who the other boss fights even were #they were all pretty average. i wish they’d gone bigger with some of them.#the best ones are the ones where there’s some time or environmental constraint #and of course also the ones that have more narrative emotional weight like cazador and orin

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lex1nat0r · 7 months ago

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White Elephant: When all you have is a cherry bomb, everything looks explodable

AAR #16

Session reports from my ongoing Lancer campaign

Characters (LL 2):

Raiju (They/Them, Hacker 2/Heavy Gunner/Centimane/Nuclear Cavalier, Barbarossa 2)

Sunshine (They/Them, Grease Monkey/Technophile 2/Engineer/Juggernaut, Pegasus 2)

Rook (He/Him, Walking Armory/Stormbringer/Brutal/Brawler 2, Balor 2)

Daylight (She/Her, Technophile 2/Engineer 2/Infiltrator, Vlad 2)

Magpie (They/Them, Hacker 3/Technophile 2, Goblin 2)

NHPs:

Molotov - Via Sunshine’s Technophile talent - Projects as a small velociraptor - unshackled

Willow - Via Daylight’s Technophile talent - Projects as 1-2 squid - unshackled

Murgatroid - Via Magpie’s Technophile talent - Projects as a wizard? - shackled

Prometheus Antichiral - fork of a cascaded NHP from the Sanctuary Blue cloning facility - projects as a wizened old man - unshackled

Prev session writeup

The Eye of the Tiger arrives above Metahome. During the blink they received another garbled message, this one apparently part of a news broadcast. They can just about make out the words "Angelus Landing," the name of a planet in the sector that should have some of the blinkspace data from X-9-237. Since they're already at Metahome, the lancers talk over what they're going to do here first. Their biggest lead is Hermenaut Services, a shipping company that the Electric Eye was under contract with and may have ties to HORUS. There's also Arjhet and Tehjra to keep tabs on, as they sent a message to the local Horizon Collective cell. Raiju, Magpie, and Sunshine decide to check out Hermenaut while Rook and Daylight tail A&T.

Hermenaut Services' head office just looks like a regular office building in downtown Neo Corinth, the metroswathe taking up most of Metahome's landmass. Magpie isn't able to hack up anything really juicy on the publicly-available net, so Sunshine lures a couple of the building's guards into an alley to get jumped. With their newfound access to the building the lancers are able to discover that the Electric Eye was sent out as part of something called Project Harlequin which apparently involved sending out cargo ships via circuitous routes. They need c-level access to find anything more though, so they pile into an elevator and work on getting access to the important offices. Raiju disables the elevator's camera with a small bomb, which makes it look like the camera's just suffering a malfunction. Magpie and Sunshine get access to the elevator's controls to take the group to the restricted level. They duck into the CTO's office, which seems suspiciously unused. The big tip is the stock photo in a picture frame which is the only thing that could be considered a touch of personality in the room. Raiju attempts to repeat the bomb trick on the office's terminal but only succeeds in blowing it up, attracting the attention of building security. Sunshine quickly ushers the group to the CFO's office, which is similarly deserted. Magpie gets into this terminal before Raiju gets a chance to blow it up. They learn that Project Harlequin is a directive from the higher-ups of the company, sending freighters around the sector but making stops at systems out of the way of their usual routes. Importantly, all of the deliveries from the Harlequin routes are delivered to a specific warehouse leased by Hermenaut. With this information in hand the group make their exit by letting Raiju blow a hole in the exterior wall.

Meanwhile, Rook is tagging along with Arjhet and Tehjra as they make their way to the local Horizon Collective office in one of the metro's unaffiliated sectors. Daylight is also following along, using her uncanny ability to not be noticed. A&T convince Rook to wait outside the office in a little courtyard but don't notice they're followed inside by Daylight who overhears them getting directions from the receptionist. They loiter in the office for a bit before telling Rook they're heading into a dangerous part of town and does he really want to follow them all the way there. Rook, being Rook, says of course he'll follow and they eventually go to the headquarters of Kingdom, one of the local gangs. A&T finally notice Daylight following, which Rook plays off saying he also had no idea she was there, and lead them inside Kindgom's HQ with an air of resignation. Clearly Arjhet and Tehjra are involved in the Horizon Collective's less than legal operations and they make introductions with Jillian, Kindgom's boss. She reluctantly lets them use the building's elevator to go down to the HC hideout in the decommissioned Neuropa printing facility in the basement. They meet with Baal, the HC cell's leader, who explains the theory that there's some kind of entity in local blinkspace that's causing the omninet distortions. The Horizon Collective also ripped off a shipment of NHP caskets that was heading to HORUS and are in the middle of evaluating them for unshackling.

The lancers regroup on the Eye of the Tiger to discuss next moves when Balboa alerts the bridge crew to an omninet news broadcast that they're going to want to see. There's an intense space battle going on in the vicinity of Angelus Landing, the local Rimtech defense fleet slowly being overwhelmed by an armada of unknown assailants. In Balboa's evaluation Rimtech won't be able to hold off the invaders for much longer and the presence of the Eye of the Tiger won't make much difference in the end. With part of the blinkspace data in jeopardy, the lancers agree that the Eye of the Tiger should blink to Angelus Landing and at least try to help the evacuation effort while they retrieve the data.

Next time: c-beams glittering in the dark?

#lancer #the danse mechabre #tdm white elephant

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sunshinestardrop · 2 years ago

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Once again I have come up with a daydream.

All my daydreams start off the same, Isekai style because thats my favorite genera. So like, youre a person that's played Baulders Gate 3, but youve only ever gotten thru act one because you're on the same boat as everyone else who was on it for the first few weeks- start up the game, create a character and then go through act 1 with a fine toothed comb before deciding you want to make another character because 'hehe fighting sims.'

So you only know act one, and you get dragged right into the chaos when you fall onto the beach. Of course youre confused- who wouldnt be- and think maybe youre having a really fucking werid dream induced via too much gaming, but the pounding in your temple is enough to tell you theres something wrong. You actually do try to get to the water to look over yourself, but you trip over a sword and ADHD kicks in and you just forget what you were doing cause cool ass sword.

Still, its best to keep going and figure things out on the way. You come across Shart and wake her- shes pissed at you for not helping her on the ship so apparently whatever play though this was already has you fucking up. You apologize anyway cause that is kind of fucked up.

So you guys continue on, fight a little and Shart notes that youre kind of a shit fighter- fair, you never had to fight in your life- but the next few words have you take pause- that she thought your kind were better fighters. Alright, raciest much? Whatever, not your circus- not your monkeys.

You bolt to Astarion, cause of course you do- everyone loves the angsty vampire man. Things play out- he seems to have that whole brain merge thing that... dosnt bother you as much? Like maybe everyones just never had a bad headache in this world cause all you feel is a little tingle. whatever.

You get Gale, whos just a chipper as ever. You guys get along pretty well together.

And then you get to L'zel and something happens- The Tieflings that caught her call you "Underelf." and thats race specific dialogue. Youre kind of shocked, but also like if you were in your OG body youd be dead instantly. Humans from IRL are pretty squishy.

Yeah, things happen. You go through the first Act with prior knowledge from playthroughs which helps to set the MC up for the next few acts. And since you know whats gonna happen the first Act would more be spent trying to get used to the magic system, learning how to talk like a DND character (while also having the addition of the Main party knowing the actual earthling side of you, also using your unusual way of speaking/acting to confuse enemies) fighting, and also learning that the reason it hurts people to connect with your mind via tadpole is because ADHD makes your mind a fucking cacophony of so-much-noise-all-at-once that it will fry other peoples brains if they try to dig into yours. During this time MC would have to get used to the concept of death and killing- as well as the fact that people are kind of nonchalant about it to your standards.

During Act one the main party is also much more closed off about their issues. Getting Astorian to admit that he's a vampire is much harder, and it takes him being nearly on deaths door from lack of blood and you indirectly implying you know by catching him wildlife to drink from when no ones around. It's very awkward. Karlach and Gale are the only ones that outright state their issues within a reasonable time frame because their very good aligned and very opened. Although, Gale does just happen to ramble it out one day and you just let it be until he needs something.

Lae'zel is probably more of a subtal respect that happens as you grow and she sees your fighting improve- same with Shart.

Theres also the fact that its very easy to be a smooth talker when a lot of people have a supposed -1 on wisdom.

During the goblin camp fight there's a part I want where MC finds a car- like an actual earth car- in the goblin camp and with the help of Gales electrical boost and MCs knowledge of jumping cars (I feel like thats a common knowledge thing for people that have a car- at least for me it is?) theyre able to get the thing running for a brief moment and theres a rule-of-cool moment where MC gets to run down a bunch of Goblins before the car sputters out. Probably with Set it Off or something playing in the background.

The grove is saved, There's no romance at the party. Some of them do make a pass but it's more of a "how about some fun" sort of thing. Astarion offers, but compared to what it's like in the game its... a lot more uncomfortable? Like you can honestly tell it's more of a desperation to stay safe thing then a fun thing. All in all there's this whole thing where MC is like "Im far too busy with keeping the camp safe and making sure my allies are ok. Sleeping with people that rely on me feels like im taking advantage of them and thus is bad to me. You all have a home here, no one is going to be forced to leave and I will fight tooth and nail to keep you all safe- no thank yous needed."

They do have the weave moment with Gale, but its more friendly and there's more explanation of magic and shit. I want to explore the fact that since MC has no idea about the laws of magic and how it works here they are not fully bound by the rules. They can make magic that shouldn't be possible happen since they dont know they're not supposed to be able to do that. Of course I want this to become a prob later where its a situation where "These rules are in place for a reason" and MC suffers pretty badly for going outside those rules (Magic drainage? Permanent debuff?)

So like the ground work for Act one would be

-Setting up the understanding that MCs brain, because it's different, messes with People that try to invade it- typically involves brainfog or terrible migraines.

-Fleshes out the companions as people more just cause I like character building (Friendship with Gale is achieved, Respect from Le'zel and Shart without them admitting it, Understanding from everyone else and tentative friendships)

-on top of that, also give reason to place MC in a leadership role, as they gain more confidence in their fighting and allows their body to take over (Muscle memory in a way) They prove themselves more confident, they also will work for the betterment of the group instead of the individual while also playing a diplomat. Actions are carefully thought out when they can, and quick decisions are made with every option in mind. The only reason theyre good at this in act one is cause of the knowledge about the game, but as they go into act two they improve without the clairvoyance.

-MC strength would be that theyre good at reading people

-also the implication from the Raph and Moriz that there's something even more wrong with MC then just a tadpole. (Possibly described as too many consciousnesses stifling one and other out)

-the slight implication that MC might not actually be the OG Tav- and instead might be the mindflayer tadpole already taken over the body.

-no dream visitor, despite the implication that everyone else has been visited

-I also really want a friendship between Gale and MC to build up, like in my mind they really care for eachother without ever using words which is what later leads to MC trusting him with their secrets

-halsin would also be build up as a confident to MC, as he's the first one that isnt solely reliant on MC and MC doesnt fell like they're taking advantage of him since he can come and go as he pleases

Dear god the amount of ground work for Act 1 is insane, now I know why the devs put so much stuff into Act 1 in the game. you gotta get that ground work to really do the big stuff.

guiakhda Might post Act 2 daydream part later

#BG3 thoughts #uh theyre scattered and better thought out in my head but whatever

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jell0buss-37 · 2 years ago

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My Peter B headcannons!

General HCs, however I will take requests for different HCs (only for Headcannons rn though 👀)

He's a reporter rather than a physicist in his universe.

He was probably more of a jock type, who knew more about sports. When he got bitten he got more active, but never played any team sports because he was still scared of his bullies.

He had asthma before he was bitten.

He loves the color blue, but specifically navy blue.

Loves classic rock, but like 70s sort of classic rock, so definitely more of a Kinks, Rolling Stones, Queen sorta fan.

In his Universe, Harry was his Green Goblin.

He's very emotional.

He is a HUGE horror movie buff.

Is actually a very big bookworm, especially mystery books. Growing up he was a big Sherlock Holmes fan.

His parents were actually alive, but they couldn't take care of him, and so they sent him to live with his Aunt and uncle when he was 5.

He's actually from Nebraska.

He's not a fan of his birthday, so he never makes a big deal about it.

Also gets butthurt when nobody makes a big deal about it.

His universes Gwen was actually a babysitter he had a fat crush on when he was 9. She was 8 years older than him.

He likes funny women, it makes his stomach flip whenever a spunky woman can joke with him.

More of a grease monkey than a lab rat, however he somehow is and actual whizz when it comes to many subjects. Except for Arts of any sort. He actually is not creative at all.

He has the most useless facts stored in his head, it can literally be the most out of pocket thing ever, and yet doesn't know basic things.

"Did you know that Pelicans can pull their spines through their unhinged jaws to cool off?" ".... Peter wha-"

"What do pelicans eat?" "Idk, broccoli?"

He can't sing or dance for the life of him.

But he can play the harmonica

And he likes colorful drinks. Alcoholic drinks or not.

That and Root Beer

An absolute Mug Root beer fiend

Also really good at video games, doesn't matter what game, he picks it up so fast

Looks like big dumb, but really that's just him not caring.

Has a fear of Michael Cera.

"Where are his eyebrows???"

Is literally just Nick Miller, actually.

He's a cat dad

His cat's name is Tyler

"I am sick of Tyler just jumping into the shower and getting freaked out and scratching me-" "Woah, WHAT?? Like your roommate!?" "No. My cat. Why would my roommate attack me-"

Uses punctuation when he texts so you can never tell what tone he's using when he texts

'omw now want me to get u smth from the store'

'No. Drive safe.' (so menacing???)

Has a Ned in his universe that is his office buddy at the Daily Bugle

Ned is an intern and he and Peter have horror movie marathons, and he is also an artist

Peter can't drive. Also he's literally Spiderman so that doesn't matter anyway. But if you ask him, he will not know how to drive. He fixes cars, doesn't drive them.

Never went to college, but got a degree in quantum physics online

That and a wedding licence as spiderman. He thought it'd be funny if Spider-Man could officiate weddings

Is actually scared of kids until Miles

After Miles, he is so good with kids

In his mind

Is writing his own book about a detective from New Orleans (iykyk)

Is Irish-Italian

Likes Baseball a lot because it reminds him of his Uncle Ben

His universe doesn't have reality TV

He's also a DM for Ned's DND group

Totally LARPs, but doesn't admit it

Doesn't like Apple sauce and hasn't eaten it since he was 8 because he ate too much of it and threw it up

Genuinely loves his friends interests, and will genuinely try them out or watch whatever it is they like so they can gush together or debate

Has a barber shop he goes to where he just talks with the old men there, he's been going since he was 12 because Uncle Ben took him

Can Bake really good and sew because of May

He actually asked her to teach him these skills

Has a dream to live in the Oscar Meyer Weiner mobile one day

#fanfiction #peter benjamin parker #spiderman x reader #spiderman #peter b parker #peter b parker x reader #general headcanons

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fantasy-anatomy-analyst · 4 years ago

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(image description: eight sketchbook drawings of characters holding a variety of pride flags, all nude and posed in ways that match some old fine art pieces. The nudity has been censored with cute digital flower stickers. end description.)

Characters:

Dalmar, intersex man. Kouto, nonbinary. Chacha, agender. Parva, nonbinary. Xulic and Kidron, genderqueer. Obeli (or Abuela) Moruga, genderqeer. Olli, demiguy. Sajak, genderqueer.

Genderqueer is kind of my default for "well, biologically and culturally, they already don't have binary sex or gender, so they kinda default to genderqueer." And I know maybe some people will be bothered by that, but it's just part of the worldbuilding I've written around all these non-human and frequently non-mammalian species of people.

The uncensored version is on my Patreon page. I do have one more drawing to add to this series, but since it's four child characters I will not need to worry about adding any censors and keeping the original image only on my patreon, as they will simply be wearing their pride flags as whole outfits.

The previous part of this, my binary trans characters, can be found over here.

detailed character descriptions and explanations of the pose references under the cut

Dalmar Ubora, a black intersex elf man with short black hair. He is holding his arms up as he holds the intersex flag, mimicking the pose of Virgin Mary from Titian's painting "The Assumption of the Virgin". The shading was washed out by the photo, but his belly is still clearly round from pregnancy. Dalmar is an interesting case, in that he was assigned male at birth based on his outward appearance, continues to identify as male throughout his life, but finds during puberty that what was believed to be an undeveloped penis was actually just a non functional body part. Instead, what actually developed to full functionality was his uterus. He still identifies as a straight cis man, and has come to terms with his body. He is married to a medically transitioned trans woman, and he could undergo operations to change his body if he wanted to. Instead, he has embraced his body and even birthed some children who were conceived via sperm donations. This is why I wanted a Mary pose for him, and this painting in particular is about Mary being welcomed into heaven as a blessed holy woman. Dalmar may not be a miraculous holy figure, but there is a reverence in the way he has come to love his body and chosen to bear children, including the surrogate birth of his brother's child.

Kouto Hayashi-Loryck, a slender nonbinary elf with black hair tied into a bun. They are holding the nonbinary flag and standing in the pose of a statue known as "Apollo Belvedere", which is so old no one knows the artist's name. One arm raised, one lowered, legs in the relaxed contrapposto pose. Kouto is an artist and an art model. Apollo is a god of the arts, and regarded as a beautiful and sexual figure. Kouto is bisexual and admittedly a very sexual and flirtatious person. They did settle into a happy marriage though (actually they are Dalmar's in-law and the sperm donor for the aforementioned surrogate birth.) Marriage has not stopped Kouto's flirtations, merely limited their targets to a singular person. It felt right to give him this pose, from a pretty well known portrayal of Apollo. Beauty, art, and sex, all defining traits of Apollo and Kouto alike, all present in a pose where the figure seems to be reaching for something above them.

Chacha Faraji, an agender black elf with short hair. They are facing away from the viewer, seated on a stool that is covered by the draped agender flag. No physical traits that could betray their agab are visible. Chacha is sitting in the pose of Reubens' painting "Venus at the Mirror". The arm closest to the viewer ends at the elbow, while they hold a mirror in front of their face with their one whole arm. Their face is seen reflected, smiling, little wrinkles visible by their eyes. I chose this painting in part because it did allow me to obscure Chacha's agab. They were my first nonbinary character, and I never really settled on an agab. But also, I enjoy putting characters who have unconventional bodies into poses associated with Venus or Aphrodite, the goddess of beauty. Chacha is missing half an arm, they are getting older and it shows in the wrinkles on their face. Chacha is also Aromantic and Asexual, the full queer triple A battery. The mirror pose has become an independence of beauty. "Look but don't touch." Chacha is beautiful, and they do not need to be beautiful for anyone but themself.

Parva Turbatus, a white nonbinary elf with shoulder length curly hair that has been shaved down on the far side of their head. They are holding the nonbinary flag, standing in the slightly closed off pose found in Paul Gariot's painting "Pandora's Box". One hand on their chest, one hand held out to hold the flag. They have top surgery scars on their chest and a c-section scar on their navel, though all of these have unfortunately been hidden by the flower censors. I chose a pandora pose for Parva because they have one of the most intense tragic backstories of any of my characters. Like Pandora opening the box, they have suffered through many things but came out the other side with Hope, and healing.

Xulic Vos and Kidron Engedi, a drow and a lizard person. They are sharing the genderqueer flag. Xulic has long ears and white hair in a braid, with a white monkey-like tail barely visible behind their legs. Kidron looks like a leopard gecko, and their tail is acting as a visual block in fron of Xulic's groin. They are standing together in the central pose of Raphael's "School of Athens" fresco. Xulic is pointing one hand up to the sky, while Kidron holds one hand palm down towards the earth. Xulic's chest is visibly flat, however I have rewritten the drow as a eusocial people, who's biology has made most of the common population infertile and visibly near identical above the waist. Xulic's agab is unknown to anyone but them, and perhaps their reptilian lover Kidron. Both drow and lizard folk have biology and cultures that do not really support a gender binary, so genderqueer suits them both quite well. I chose the School of Athens pose because these characters are scientists in fields that overlap, and they often get into deep discussions on the matter. Xulic is a paleontologist while Kidron is a geologist, and they have another friend (my protagonist) who studies archaeology.

Obeli (or Abuela) Moruga, an elderly goblin with sagging skin and axolotl-like frills on the sides of her head. She grins as she holds the gender queer flag, partly draped over the tall stool she is seated on. Her pose matches that of John Collier's "Priestess of Delphi" painting, which depicts a woman hunched over herself on a stool. Old Obeli Moruga, whose title best translates to "grandmother" is a significant figure in her community, both because of her more practical role as a leader and wise woman, but also because she has gained immortality and become an incarnation of Life Itself, after she was given the offer of such power when she nearly died in the goblin revolution. There are many figures that would suit her. Poses from statues of goddesses, like Athena or Gaia. Perhaps turning away from the theme of greek and roman figures I ended up with for my nonbinary group (dalmar is his own thing) and using the famous painting of Liberty on a battlefield. But now in her old age, all those poses of figures in more active poses, tall and imposing, simply didn't feel right. A wise old woman, hunched on a stool in a pose associated with the idea of an oracle, a priestess, a prophetess, felt much more fitting. (goblin culture does have specific pronouns for leadership, and in the common speech they have decided this translates best to the feminine "she/her")

Olli Moruga, also a goblin with axolotl-like frills, standing with the demiguy flag in his hands. He is in the pose of Michaelangelo's statue of Bacchus, god of wine, merriment, and madness. One hand up as if to salute with a cup, body leaning and perhaps a little unstable. Olli is a gay demiguy, stepping away from the naturally ungendered state of his people to embrace masculinity instead. He is extroverted, loves a good party, and has definitely been a little over his depth with alcohol on many occasions. He knows this is a problem. He used to act rebellious because of it, trying to be cool and aloof, but he has since admitted the truth to himself and now openly seeks help. His trans lover, Zaire (seen in a previous post) has become a great support to him. Even though it may seem odd to use the pose of a god of wine for a character that is trying to overcome an alcohol issue, I still feel like the vibe of Bacchus or Dionysus fits Olli well. He is not only a god of wine, but also of pleasure in general, a concept Olli embraces. Wild joy, perhaps to the point of becoming a little feral, abandoning tradition for personal fulfillment. It is unusual for goblins to embrace a binary gender, even partially. Gendered pronouns do not exist in their tongue, only being used in cases where common speech needs to be used to refer to certain significant figures, such as a leader. It is also unusual for a goblin to take a lover outside their species, since most goblins live in fairly isolated places and all mate together seasonally, depositing their eggs in a communal nursery pool. Olli stands out on purpose.

Lastly, Sajak, an amphibious person with some fish-like features such as their finned ears and a barely visible dorsal fin. They are holding the genderqueer flag as they stand in a commanding pose, one foot on a rock, one arm held out as if pointing to something below them. This pose is taken from the central Poseidon statue in the fountain of Trevi. Their head, arms, and torso are covered in dark tattoos in abstract designs, and they also have a few natural dark stripes along their arms and legs. The obvious connection between Sajak and this statue of Poseidon is that Sajak is a fish person and Poseidon is an ocean god. If I could have thought of a more medical figure, I may have made a different choice in the art reference. Sajak is primarily a doctor, a healer. They are fairly well known and they were an important figure on their home island, though they did leave eventually. Even so, there is a certain vibe to Sajak that suits the image of a powerful and unpredictable oceanic god. They are steady, intelligent, and careful, but they can become fierce when their loved ones are under threat, and the intense focus they show in their work as a doctor can be intimidating to see. There is a feeling of hidden power within Sajak, just as there is in the ocean when it seems calm. Fish folk, whether bipedal and amphibious or fully aquatic, also fit under my category of "non-mammalian people who are just kind of genderqueer by default due to their biology not fitting into a binary".

#figure art #figure drawing #nonbinary #intersex #genderqueer #queer ocs #winks ocs #image description #accessible art #my designs #drow #lizard folk #elves #goblins #merfolk

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castleoflions · 5 years ago

Text

The Yumeko vs Terano gamble might be an allegory of the old Japanese folktale “Momotaro”

Obligatory warning that this contains spoilers for Kakegurui Ch. 77

More under the jump because I don’t wanna wreck everyone’s dashes.

So other than the “Fasciation Hall” (ps that’s a really weird translation...the kanji pretty explicitly calls it “Double-Headed Lotus Hall,” but I don’t work for Yen Press, so whatever) being a hugely obvious metaphor for the identical Momobami Twins, there appears to be some other layers of symbolism happening here.

First, a quick aside about the Fasciation/Double-Headed Lotus Hall.

Like I said, this is blatant reference to Kirari and Ririka’s birth. We get confirmation that Kirari not only built the building, she thought up the game that takes place there too. You could make a pretty sound argument that Kirari has built structures inspired by her two favorite people: The Tower of Doors for Sayaka, and The Fasciation/Double-Headed Lotus Hall for her sister, Ririka.

Also, Kirari seems to be a pretty prolific builder! Enough that Terano has a sense of what her work is like. This plays into my personal speculation that Kirari is an architect of sorts, since she seems to enjoy building and analyzing structures, both physical and metaphorical.

This building can also be Kirari making a subtle commentary: While a double-headed lotus is considered good luck, twin births in Japan were traditionally extremely abhorred (to the point of separating or outright killing one of the twins) and seen as bad luck. Given the evidence that we have that Kirari comes from a traditional family, this might be her version of flipping a really elegant middle finger.

One more piece of symbolism from this chapter and then we’ll get to the big Momotaro allegory, I promise.

The game moderator is a member of the Election Committee we haven’t seen before: Sukaru Aizawa. She’s also wearing a kigurumi hoodie that I and many others had trouble identifying, because what animal even is that?!

Turns out the clue is in her name: Sukaru, written in kana notation as スカル, means “Skull.” (I originally read this incorrectly as “Scar” the first time I saw her name; the kana for that would be something like スカー)

So we have an election official who is departing from the animal theme of the committee’s kigurumis to wear a skull, who has a pretty crass attitude, and is moderating a major gamble that could decide the whole election.

The obvious symbolism of a skull is death, but we’ll see what Kawamoto does...and whose head ends up on the chopping block from this gamble.

The Yumeko v Terano gamble as an allegory for Momotaro

When I first read this chapter, I thought the character designs for the house pets introduced here were kind of striking...they were stylized and really stood out in comparison to other house pets/background characters we’ve met. Turns out their character designs reflect specific kanji in their names that relate to an extremely well-known Japanese folktale: Momotaro. This is a reference that would easily fly over a foreign audience’s heads, but should be pretty quickly recognizable to a Japanese audience.

The (extremely bare-bones) summary of the Momotaro folktale is this:

Momotaro is a child born from a giant peach to an old man and woman who don’t have a child of their own, but who have always wanted one. It is said that the gods/heavens sent Momotaro to be their child as recognition for their hard work over the years.

Momotaro grows up to be a strong, smart boy who leaves on a journey to a faraway island full of “devils” (usually depicted as ogres or goblins) to put an end to their reign of terror on the land.

Along the way, Momotaro meets a dog, a monkey, and a pheasant. The animals are prone to fighting with each other, but are united by Momotaro urging they get along or he will abandon them. This group storms the island and defeats the devils, with each animal contributing to their success in a different way. They return with riches pillaged from the devils’ castle, and they all live happily ever after or whatever.

The house pets, except for Tsubomi, who we’ve met twice before (and who I suspect will be a major wild card in this gamble), have kanji in their names for dog, monkey, and pheasant:

The Dog

The Monkey

The Pheasant

The only other character in this gamble who has animal kanji in their name is Yumeko Jabami, whose name contains the kanji for “snake.” That’s likely just happenstance since that’s been homegirl’s name from the beginning and she wasn’t created specifically for this arc like the house pets were.

Also I’d be remiss not to mention that “Momotaro” literally means “peach boy,” and “Momobami” literally means “peach eater.” That’s a very on-the-nose reference if Kawamoto wants to go there.

We have a very obvious and blatant reference to a popular Japanese folktale where cooperation between these animals ensures the success of the protagonist. Which begs the question: who is the Momotaro figure in this gamble? And who represents the devils?

Remember: the Momotaro story is about a powerful, divine teenager who assembles a group of unlikely allies to defeat a larger evil far away from home.

With that in mind, there are three theories I have so far:

Theory 1 (the obvious theory): Terano is Momotaro who has traveled far with her misfit family to Hyakkaou to defeat Kirari the devil.

Theory 2 (the “eh...maybe?” theory): Yumeko is Momotaro who has arrived at Hyakkaou and made friends with Suzui and Mary, who didn’t get along before she showed up, to defeat Kirari the devil.

Theory 3 (my personal favorite that we need more evidence to prove, but there has been subtext for): Kirari is Momotaro who has traveled to Hyakkaou (remember: the Bamis had nothing to do with Hyakkaou before she showed up), banded together the student council and student body, and is destabilizing the Bami Clan (her “devils”) in order to burn the whole system down.

Whichever way it shakes out, it’ll be interesting to see where this goes!

#kakegurui #momotaro #terano totobami #kirari momobami #yumeko jabami #kakegurui ch. 77 #anime: lesbian gambling simulator #kakegurui spoilers

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dndaddyissues · 6 years ago

Note

What's scarier, one cr 12 monster or three cr four monsters?

i love this question… because i love talking about combat!! HUGE response incoming about combat theory, tactical thinking, and creative ways to design combat encounters – click the readmore if you’re interested!

if by “scary” you mean “more challenging” and, to me as a DM, ultimately “more fun,” then i would have to say… the more, the merrier. because your PC’s are a lot more likely to slaughter a solo monster, no matter the CR (and i’ll get to that in a second) than to slaughter a group of monsters working together. O ACTION ECONOMY!

which brings me to a tangent/thing i’ve wanted to discuss/post about for a while on this blog so i suppose i’ll start with this ask –

i’m a HUGE fan of “monkeying with monsters,” as matt colville would put it. i’ve been implementing some of his creative combat theories in my recent sessions, and they’ve been paying huge dividends in terms of player engagement, tactical thinking, unexpected playouts, and overall fun.

basically, the idea is this: when designing a combat encounter, throw away the CR calculator (i know, i know, but hear me out), and tinker the shit out of the monster(s) in question.

i used to just plug my players’ levels into a CR calculator, look at the appropriate CR for a “challenging” fight, and pick my favorite monsters for the fight that were also setting-appropriate.

but i realized that this method was churning out rather predictable fights. a group of goblins against a level-2 party can be fun, but it’s run-of-the-mill: the goblins might coordinate tactically, especially if they were under the control of a bugbear chieftain or a goblin shaman, but other than that, they’re just stepping up to the players, hitting, getting hit, and dying.

this can be fun, don’t get me wrong, but after several other combat encounters like this, can get kinda… well… boring. predictable. for me, at least.

so, i started homebrewing bonus actions, reactions, and special villain actions for my monsters. especially the special ones: the mini-bosses, the bosses, and the random encounter monster (which i personally think should be challenging, deadly, and – if at all possible – plot relevant, or at least setting-relevant; but that’s just how i like to roll. otherwise it’s just like, “an ankheg pops out of the ground and – oh, it’s dead. you killed him, because you had all of your spell slots and hit points from your long rest. oh well.”)

i’ll use an example from one of my recent sessions. in this one, a party of five Level 3 players were going up against a Spectator – whose CR, at 3, is much lower than what 5 Level 3 players normally consider a challenge.

so i buffed its AC. i gave it twice as many hit points. and i gave it a special bonus action that allowed it to grapple a player with its tongue (which makes sense, cause if you look at a spectator, they’ve got freaky tongues) if the player was within 10 feet of it.

the spectator already has a reaction, and it’s a pretty good one: spell reflection. but because only one of my 5 players was a pure caster, i gave it another special reaction that I called “Terrifying Visage,” to make my martial fighters’ lives harder. basically, every time a melee attack misses the spectator, the Spectator can force a Wisdom save that, upon a failure, makes the player Frightened of it until the end of their next turn.

finally, the pièce de résistance: i gave the spectator 3 distinct villain actions. each villain action triggers at the end of a different round; the 1st one triggers at the end of round 1, the 2nd one at the end of round 2, the 3rd on round 3. you could definitely make more, but i tend to find solo monsters don’t last past round 3 against a well-equipped party – no matter the CR. (unless they’re the BBEG.)

at the end of the first round, my spectator’s villain action was to summon my PCs’ “Evil Selves” out of mirrors scattered throughout the battlemap. this made sense story-wise, and setting-wise, as the PCs had just spent last session grappling with what their dark sides could look like.

the manifestation of these Evil Selves was enough to startle and thrill the players, and i made a show out of taking my players’ character sheets, copying down their weapon information and skills, and giving their sheets back. this definitely freaked out my players!

i placed my PCs’ Evil Selves right above their respective characters in the initiative order, so their Evil Selves always went right before they did. needless to say, my players ended up targeting their Evil Selves instead of the spectator, even though it would have been “smarter” tactically to do so – but i didn’t punish them excessively for this, as it provided great roleplay material.

at the end of the second round, my spectator’s villain action was to “focus fire” – basically, the spectator ordered the Evil Selves to move away/disengage from their respective players without triggering opportunity attacks, and target a specific player. i chose the rogue, because she had insulted the spectator during the fight, and it made sense roleplay wise. otherwise, i would have chosen the warlock, who was the one dealing the most DPR to the spectator and the biggest tactical threat. but i loved the rogue’s roleplaying, so i decided to go for her.

unfortunately, my spectator died before it could trigger the third villain action. i’ll let you guys know what it was – i was going to have the spectator give a “kill” order to the Evil Selves, and they would all make an attack against the rogue (or whoever was nearest at that point, if the PCs moved around or the rogue disengaged), without it having to be their turn.

i designed the first villain action to be a big, “WHOA!!” moment for the players. the second villain action was about positioning – getting the Evil Selves into the right place to make the third villain action hurt the most. and the third villain action, of course, was my “trump” card – i doubt the rogue would have survived the kill order. thankfully, the battle didn’t last that long!

that’s a LONG-WINDED way of responding to your ask, but i hope this was useful in at least some small way! that’s how i buffed up a solo villain that was CR 3 against a party of 5 Level 3 players. according to one of my players, who’s been playing DND for 20 years, even though her character was paralyzed for two of the three rounds that the battle lasted, she was hanging on to every moment with bated breath. because although she’d encountered spectators before – many DND monsters before, in fact, due to her long tenure as a player – she had no idea what was going to happen next. which i take as a great sign.

ALL OF THIS is ripped directly from matt colville’s “building action-oriented monsters” video from his “running the game” youtube series, which is a fantastic resource i’d recommend to any DM who hasn’t heard of him already. please check him out and support his work if you can!

#ask #dnd #dnd ideas #dm tips #dnd combat #dnd inspiration

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fereality-indy · 5 years ago

Note

Thoughts on monster!falls AU, specifically regarding were-Wendy and Deerper?

I actually have my own take on monster falls.

Stan/Ford/Robbie/Pacifica/Wendy stay the same

Mabel - Unicorn centaur

Dipper - Satyr (Never could stand him being a cervitaur)

Soos - pinochio-esque golem

Candy - Kumiho (korean take on the kitsune or ninetailed fox)

Grenda - rock golem

Tambry - Dhampir (also known as a living vampire and with her need for blood {and Robbie's lack of blood} has soured their relationship, she now spends more time with Wendy, Dipper, Mabel, & Pacifica)

Lee - dwarf (with a righteous beard)

Nate - naga

Thompson - cherub (Robbie tried to get him to renew he & Tambry's love but Thompson saw it was a forced love and wouldn't do that to a friend)

Manly Dan -Were-bear

Corduroy boys - youngest to oldest; were-boar, were-cougar, and a were-ox.

Gideon - a lil stay puft marshmallow man... ok not really but I can't remember off the top of my head. I just don't see him as a vampire. ok looked it up I had him as a leprechaun or a small ork like creature.

Fiddleford - clockwork golem or a folklore version of a gremlin (both are mechanically inclined)

Tate - devil monkey

Toby Determined - goblin

Lazy Susan - catwoman

Tyler Cutebiker - gingerbread man

And really I don’t see it changing their dynamic that much at all other than focusing on trying to reverse the curse and everyone having to stay in GF at the end of the summer.

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agentsokka · 6 years ago

Text

Nott’s Conflicting Narratives

[[Spoilers for Campaign 2 up to Episode 75]]

Man. D’you ever get the need to talk about how much you love your favorite character? Because I am feeling PASSIONATE for a specific little goblin girl right now.

I love Nott. She’s the peanut butter to my jam, the sugar to my spice, the awkward green butterball mushing around in my heart. She’s my absolute FAVORITE character of the cast and one of my all-time favorite characters in general. So, of course, I feel the need to bend over backwards, snap my spine into a pretzel, and projectile vomit my absolute love for this woman all over your dashes.

In this piece, I wanted to talk about her personal growth over the story and how she’s evolved from what viewers believed was merely a skittish, oddball of a green powder monkey klepto into an equally odd but emotionally resonant mother desperate to reclaim her life and family.

In my opinion, Nott’s overarching story revolves around a mother attempting to recapture her personal narrative from a world that has tried to tear it away from her.

Let’s first establish Nott’s position as the “mother” of the Mighty Nein.

Time for a recap.

As we discover in episode 49, Nott is a little goblin girl, who was once a young halfling woman, who was once a halfling child. In her desperate dash to protect her family from goblin kidnappers, the halfling woman known as Veth Brenatto is recaptured and put to death. Her corpse is then reanimated into the flesh puppet goblin suit we know and love today. In this process, her skin, body, and even mind are reconstructed to be more goblin-esque – a situation which Veth vehemently despises. To put distance between herself and her former life, she renames herself “Nott the Brave,” an anagram of Veth Brenatto.

“They made me everything… that I thought I was. Not pretty…not good. Just not.”

This event is significant for a multitude of reasons, primarily of which revolve around Nott’s relationship with motherhood.

In her essay The Symbolic Annihilation of Mothers in Popular Culture, Berit Astrӧm (2015) observes that mother characters are routinely devalued in popular culture via what she terms “symbolic annihilation.” Gaye Tuchman (1978) originally coined the phrase to describe the way in which media trivializes, condemns, or outright excludes mothers, but Astrӧm extends it to include the removal of mothers from narratives entirely.

We’ve seen this play out time and time again: for example, how many times have we questioned “what happened to the mother” in Disney movies? Often, we see that their exclusions leave little impact on the story and characters, with many media franchises unceremoniously minimizing the mother’s very existence as if it held no more meaning than an ironically titled paperweight.

Now, how does this apply to Nott?

Nott’s character is an inversion of this trope. Although she is killed by the goblins as per the trope’s wont, the narrative does not revolve around her son or husband trying to cope with her loss. Instead, the narrative remains centered on she the mother as this little goblin girl punches a fist through the earth and screams NOT TODAY SATAN. Her story revolves around her identity as a mother, and it takes shape in a plethora of different ways.

Nott exhibits many atypical characteristics that are not commonly associated with the idealized form of “motherhood.” She’s loud, she’s boisterous, she’s mischievous. She’s self-admittedly “strange” and eccentric. She saw it suit to dump a pitcher of cucumbers and proceed to eat them off the ground. Absolutely no one can convince me that this a goblin-specific trait and not just Nott being her weird little self.

And yet, Nott exhibits many typically feminine/motherly traits as well. In spite of her vulgarities, she’s gentle and kind towards Caleb, and it takes some time for their relationship to evolve beyond that. She likes dresses! She likes feeling pretty even though the situation rarely allows her to be. She likes to collect buttons and baubles and cutesy trinkets. And most of all, Nott expresses love. Beau’s the first person in the group to say it to someone else, but Nott is the first of anyone to emphatically express her love for this ragtag group of misfits they’ve wrangled together.

“I know we have things to do, and I want to do them, but the reason I want to find these people and rescue them is not to use them, or not because we’ve invested time in them. But it’s because… I love them.”

Nott is very much “the Heart” of the Mighty Nein, in spite of her idiosyncrasies and eccentricities. In this sense, she views herself as their mother – not just as Caleb’s parental figure, but the entirety of the group. It’s not just a meme, with adoption papers scrawled across a series of barbeque-stained napkins in chicken scratch. Over time, she’s genuinely adopted the M9 as her own, welcoming them under her stubby wings. Nott has said as much several times, but most significantly in episode 76, when she told Caleb that she wanted to protect everyone on their own individual quests.

“I protected you so that you could go on your journey and find yourself and fulfill your quest. I feel like I’ve got to do that for everyone now because, I don’t know, deep down inside it feels like my quest might not be done till everyone else has figured out who they are and what they want in this world. Everyone’s seeking something, you know?”

This protection – this overwhelming need to shield, to safeguard, to provide security and aegis – is crucial to recognizing what Nott is as a parent. A protector. A defender. Nott firmly believes that protection is representative of parenthood, its indistinguishable mirror image.

How do I know this? Nott confirmed it word-for-word in episode 13, when she explained her relationship with Caleb to the rest of the M9.

“Caleb and I have a very special…relationship. And it’s that of a parent and a child. But I am the parent, you do understand that, correct? I protect him. He’s my boy, and I keep him safe. … It’s my job to protect him, because I love him, and I am his protector.”

Nott clearly associates parenthood with protection. She reiterates it again and again. If you fall under her protection, you are her child. It doesn’t matter how old you are, how strong you are, how quick you are – she will protect you to the very last inch of her life. And over the course of the campaign, many, many times over, she’s nearly given said life to ensure the protection of others. An early example is when Nott threw her body over Caleb’s to shield him from attack. In 45, she drew the blue dragon’s attack to save Jester, shaving her hit points down to 1.

Nott again establishes this in 76.

“So I feel like, I need to be there to protect you all. To rescue you when there’s a dragon about to kill you and use my body as a shield; or to pull Beauregard out of the mouth of a worm; or to catch you when someone falls with a feather fall spell.”

This is a fundamental aspect of her character, and explains the majority of her actions. Even though she’s anxious and scared, Nott powers through her fears to protect her loved ones at any cost necessary – with a few nips to soothe her nerves, of course.

And as sweet as this gremlin of a goblin is, she doesn’t extend her protection to everyone she meets – she’s self-sacrificial, but only to her proverbial children, after they’ve spent more than enough time becoming comfortable with one another. In episode 75, for example, Nott suggested that Reani was expendable and thus should go first when facing the dragon. She likes Reani, sure, but if it came down to her and the M9? The outsider would be the first to go.

This further lends itself to the idea that Nott perceives protection as parenthood, self-sacrifice as motherly duty – she’s not just a nice gal throwing down her life in order to ensure the welfare of others, but only for the select few she deems in need of her protection.

However, Nott isn’t just a mother, which comes to the crux of this post. For the majority of the campaign, Nott has primarily identified as a mother figure – to Luc, to Caleb, to the M9 at large. But over time, she’s steadily developed into wanting to be more than just a mother. At the very least, she’s expressed her desires more openly over the course of the show as time has gone on. This development intersects with her identity issues as Nott struggles to reconcile two conflicting lives.

Throughout her short life – and I do mean short, she’s only about 25 (I’m turning 25 this month and the extent to which this little goblin has pushed herself through sends me into anxiety just by association) – Nott’s life has followed a very, shall we say, standard route. She’s always been someone’s daughter – someone’s wife – someone’s mother. Veth Brenatto grew up the small town of Felderwin with very few expectations of their people beyond the usual sort, assuming that said small town followed real-world small-town culture. As such, Veth traversed domestic paths in life, not straying far from those expectations. In spite of her intelligence and capabilities, Veth remained a housewife essentially, assisting Yeza when need be and taking care of Luc. This narrative held steady for some time.

And everything changed when the Fire Nation goblins attacked.

Veth’s narrative as a mother, as a wife, as a little halfling from the little hovel hole of Felderwin, was abruptly disrupted when she became Nott. Her narrative was stolen from her, manipulated and perverted into something she deemed grotesque. Forced to co-exist with the tribe, Nott becomes the torturer’s assistant – the absolute antithesis to motherhood in the representative forebearer of violence, depravity, and death. Her desire to nurture and protect is met with oppression and bloodshed.

It’s no wonder Nott detests the narrative the goblins thrust upon her. Her goblin exterior fundamentally represents a life forced upon her, a narrative chosen without her consent.

“I just don't like how I feel when I see my hands or my feet. They just feel wrong. I want to be different.”

“I'll be honest. I've started forgetting what it feels like to be a halfling, to be me. I don't remember everything any more. I feel like every day I'm more and more goblin. I don't like it at all. I don't like myself at all.”

“There's still something that's not right about this. This is not my body. It's just not me. And people liking you is nice, and people accepting you is nice. But if you feel wrong inside your own skin, then, well, you can't be a good mother or a good wife, or a good anything, really.”

Upon escaping, her narrative again changes: she’s no longer anyone’s assistant, but existing for herself. And only herself. Before she meets Caleb, she’s alone, unwanted by the populace at large and unable to return to Felderwin. She’s no longer a mother – just detested vermin looking to steal and connive, so people would believe.

That is partially why, in my opinion, she adopts Caleb as her own so quickly. Of course, Nott sees him as a means to an end in the beginning, as does he. They both admit that they had ‘other intentions’ in staying together than purely out of goodness of their hearts. However, it is evident that well before the campaign started, these two forged a bond that went beyond that of convenience. Nott fills the hole in her heart, the hole in her very narrative, by becoming Caleb’s adoptive mother, assisting him in his ventures and protecting him whenever need be. By doing this, she is able to choose for herself, to differentiate herself from the goblin’s narrative of pain and misery. She is no longer just “not,” she is Nott, Nott the Brave.

As was aforementioned, Nott’s motherhood narrative grows to include the rest of the M9. However, with time, she reaches a conflict within herself: while she hates being a goblin, she enjoys her new lifestyle. Is she afraid? She’s fucking petrified. Yet like the rest of the group, she’s fallen in love with adventuring, the highs and lows that demonstrate the extent of her capabilities. Nott isn’t just an assistant anymore – she can do magic! She can fight, she can pick locks, she can adapt firearms and create explosive weaponry. Hell, she can wield a crossbow with the dexterity of an Olympic gymnast and liquidate giant spiders into bloody pastes on the wall. With the M9, she’s seeing the world, far beyond the borders of Felderwin and her small-town life.

And suddenly, Veth’s narrative as a stay-at-home mom isn’t so appealing anymore.

Is there a problem inherent to existing as a housewife and full-time mother? No, of course not. Nevertheless, Nott has found herself in a strange position – she longs for her old life and family, ripped away from her by the gnarled claws of fate, yet remains enthralled by the wonders this new narrative can offer her.

In 36, Nott reveals to Cadeuceus that she believes the M9 could be representative of a new life for her – a new narrative.

“I’m not a religious lady, but I will tell you that, for me, this journey with the group has been a bit of a sign. … A sign that there could be, for all of us, another chapter.”

It’s a new chapter, a new narrative, a new life for Nott. One she could never have imagined possible for her in the confines of her small town. And by god, does she want to live it. Nott expressed this desire to live this life to its fullest, to live this new narrative to its fullest, in 27 after Molly’s death.

“Mollymauk was a rainbow man who represented life at its fullest. And. That’s what I want, even more than… even more than what we’re going for before. Together, we’re sort of living life now, aren’t we? And before, we were… in the darkness, so. … I want to find them so we don’t go back to the way it was, when we were hiding in the shadows and, and ducking into alleys to get away from people. We were safe, but we weren’t really alive, right? With these people, we’re having fun and winning contests. And. And killing bad guys, and rescuing children…it’s amazing.”

I’m of the opinion that Nott’s speech is reflective of both her experiences with Caleb as well as her own in Felderwin. She was living before – and she enjoyed it, yes! She obviously loves Yeza and Luc. But now, she’s seeing what life can be like when lived to its fullest, seeing what life can be like when she spearheads her own narrative. She gleans inspiration from Mollymauk, who decided to head his own narrative and remain unrepentantly unconcerned with what his past might have been like. With his death, Nott becomes convinced that she needs to truly lead this life, lead this newfound narrative with this family she’s amassed.

But with that realization comes conflict once the dredges of Nott’s previous life begin seeping into her narrative. This is especially once Nott reunites with Yeza in Xhorhas.

“Caleb, I’m feeling uneasy. … I, because. What the fuck am I doing here? I just was reunited with my husband, and I’ve – I -- we were given a chance to go on an adventure and I jumped at it like that. Am I a bad person? I just left him, I ditched my husband in a den of monsters to go adventuring with you.”

Rather than hold down the fort with her newly reunited husband, Nott instinctively leaps at the chance for adventure, the chance to go out and see more of the world. She doesn’t even think about it, it’s just oh? A side quest? Well fuck me rosy, time to knock my crossbow. Because that’s what Nott would do, not Veth. And once she realizes what she’s done, Nott begins wondering if she’s a terrible person for living her life. She begins questioning her intentions, wondering whether her actions are the ploy of some subconscious desire to remain free, remain independent of her responsibilities.

“You don’t think I’m just…delaying the inevitable? Scared of going back to my old life, or anything?”

Nott further recognizes the disparity between her two lives and how wide the gulf between them yawns.

“It’s just, I just don’t know like. Is he gonna…even like me anymore, I’m so different. Not just physically, I do different things now. … Will I like it? I’ve gotten a taste of adventure and, and seeing the world, and now I’ve gotta go back and be a…a housewife again?”

Nott doesn’t even know if she wants to be called Veth anymore. Not by people who have come into her life since Veth’s apparent demise. When Caleb asks her in 59, she dismisses the question and asserts that they should just go with Nott for now.

She asks Caleb to tell her what she should do, in a desperate plea for someone else to give her direction in life. Because driving your own narrative is hard. It’s a painful, painful process, full of ups and downs and mistakes and setbacks. But Caleb fundamentally cannot decide her narrative for her -- it’s Nott’s narrative, not his. He can help her along and support her, but he will never be able to direct it. She has to do it for herself.

(As a side note: I love, love, love how far Nott and Caleb’s relationship has come. Prior to the Xhorhas arc, Nott never bothered him with her problems, drudging on ahead as she didn’t want to “distract” him from his personal quest. She’s exactly like a mother, masking her insecurities and fears from her young child so that they won’t worry about what they can’t control. And now, as her child has grown up and become more aware of his mother’s struggles, she’s leaning on him more and more for support. It truly mirrors parent-child relationships and is representative of how far these characters have grown over time.)

With these conversations, it becomes evident that Nott is seeking more than family, more than the life of a housewife. And yet, simultaneously, she embodies the narrative of a mother, loves being a mother, and loves the people in both her immediate and found families. To merge these narratives will be an almost insurmountable task, from her perspective -- how can you raise a family when you’re constantly adventuring? You can’t endanger their lives. Conversely, is it responsible of a parent to endanger their own life, potentially risking everything for adventure’s sake? To widow your husband and orphan your child if something goes horribly wrong? If she becomes a housewife again, how long can she keep up the charade pretending she’s a halfling? If she stays, will she forever remain uncomfortable in her own skin? How long will she even live? Nott is juggling so many plates, and dropping even one could result in the partial devastation of these narratives she’s cultivated.

And she’s scared. She’s really, really scared. Nott is petrified of what comes next -- she knows it’s inevitable that she’s going to have to face these conflicting narratives in the future. She knows she can’t ignore it forever. And that prospect terrifies her. She says this explicitly in episode 69.

“I'm just scared, that's all. I'm scared of...I'm scared of what happens next. You know? I don't know what's going to happen after this. I found my husband. I found my son. And I want to go back with them so much. ... But I'm worried that if I go back, that'll be it.”

This overwhelming, paralyzing sense of fear has driven Nott to drink. Even more so than usual. Over the course of the show, Nott has made no secret of her drinking habits. She’s a drunkard -- she knows it, the M9 knows it. You, me, and the NSA agent watching you behind the screen know it. But it’s no accident the M9 has begun commenting more and more on her habitual intoxication. She simply is more intoxicated than usual. She’s depending more and more on her alcoholism to get through each day.

Nott is of course afraid of enemies, of secret dangers lurking behind every corner. She’s a perpetually anxious person, constantly filled with frenetic energy. But these anxieties have worsened ten-fold with the inclusion of her intersecting narratives and responsibilities. And honestly? With all that going on in her brain, Nott just flat out doesn’t want to think about it. She wants to live in the moment -- not in the past, not in the future, but the present.

“I'm thinking about things. And I don't want to think about things. I don't want to think about anything. I just want to be on an adventure with you guys and that's all I want and I don't want to think about anything else past that.”

And so, she turns to drinking. As she tells Caleb, drinking is her own form of self-care. While she may protect others, she herself needs protection too -- from her own thoughts, fears, and inner demons. From the physical dangers that manifest in front of her very person.

“I know you all have my back, I know you all care for me, but no one has my front. So this flask that I drink from, it’s not for fun, I’m not taking nips because I’m looking for fun. If I wanted fun I’d be in Nicodranus with my family. This flask is my shield. It allows me to do these things, to go forward and to protect all of you.”

Nott needs to shield herself from fears that she may not come back to her family. She needs to shield herself from fears that she won’t find a remedy to her situation, that she won’t ever be Veth again. She needs to shield herself from fears that these conflicting narratives will never reconcile, thereby isolating her from either family she’s come to love as her own.

All in all, Nott is currently torn between two lives -- one whose existence is linked to traditional motherhood, and another whose fate is yet undecided. And yet, by continuing with the M9, Nott has found herself on the path towards potential self-realization. This route she treads has the potential to shed the narrative the goblins thrust upon her and totally make one anew, one that is her own. In that sense, it’s representative of what this narrative means as a whole: Nott is more than just a mother. She’s a mother with autonomy. A mother with hopes, dreams, and aspirations. Unlike Berit Astrӧm’s (2015) analysis of symbolic annihilation, she is more than just a paper cutout of idealized motherhood left to be abandoned.

Indeed, Nott can be a mother without being the mother archetype.

Nott will certainly struggle to reconcile these narratives. She loves being a mother, but she clearly wants to love herself too. She wants to be more than just a mother, and thus she quests to recapture her personal narrative -- one where she can be both a mother and retain her personal autonomy.

I love the nuance and complexity Sam has demonstrated with this character, and I’m sure we’re only going to see more in the future.

#Critical Role #Nott #Nott the Brave

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