#she has the personality of like. a fucking leech. she's terrible

[fappellmoan]

yeah ok so this girl from my school is going to the fucking oscars. and presenting. like ok!

[joesalw]

Hi, I'm an ex swiftie and I have so much to say about taylor swift. I have a lot bottled up inside and this felt like a safe space to get it out. I hope you don't mind.

I feel like taylor as an artist doesn't have an identity of her own anymore.

like billie, lana, sabrina, ariana, beyonce, shakira, britney, avril, olivia they all make a specific type of music. Although many of them have made genre bending music but It's common knowledge that not everything is for everybody. Now this is where miss swift comes in.

she was going great with her first three albums but then the shift from country to pop to alternate to pop again and now whatever the hell the toilet paper department is supposed to be has lost her off the rails. Her albums are more suitable to her boyfriends than herself.

red- jake gyllenhall ( indie record that's much cooler than mine) but red is actually a very cool indie record

1989- calvin harris (or one could say harry styles), he is known for making upbeat electro pop music

folklore, evermore- joe (listening to his interviews and the type of intellectual, introverted personality he has, not to mention he actually worked on the albums himself with her seems like the type of music he would listen to).

and TTPD about matty healy ( which is not the most flattering album)

her dating life isn't about her finding a soulmate or true love. It's about finding a temporary muse. she sticks to them like a leech and sucks until she's done and then moves on to the next victim.

I was actually very excited about midnights because it was painted as her "seizing her own identity" and "returning back to pop" especially with anti hero, lavender haze, mastermind and yoyok I felt like this time it was about her and her demons. not some villain in her life. It felt refreshing after her constantly victimizing herself. I loved the stupid "I'm the problem, its me" thing.

Now, after every breakup, her latest ex boyfriend has to pay the price for breaking poor little taylor's heart. But since she had been with joe the longest and during that long period of her time, she never said anything bad about him, put him up on a pedestal, she was so in love and content that we, the audience who have been with her journey with her numerous boyfriends felt like he was the one. he's the best one. there are no more problems. but then this does not last either. At first neither of them revealed the reason for the breakup. which was fine and it probably should've stayed that way because when taylor started to reveal more about it, that's when things started to go south for her

she tried to paint him as the bad guy. like he was such a terrible boyfriend, he didn't want to marry her because he was depressed boo fucking hoo. being depressed is not as big of a crime as she tried to make. It also doesn't help your image when you confess to emotionally cheating on the alleged love of your life about a fucking nazi.

Miraculously this time taylor didn't get away with it. She didn't get to date the nazi. so she proceeded to throw a tantrum on her latest "masterpiece" about how she hates her fans and she's so miserable and depressed. again boo fucking hoo. dragging old drama with kim and kanye out of which she came out the winner but also dragging their child into this?? (like what did the kid do to you?)

I hate how everyone conveniently forgot that taylor dated connor kennedy when he was still a minor (she was five years older than him) and immediately after his mother died, bought a house in his neighbourhood to get in his circle and crashed his cousin's wedding and when the groom's mother asked her to leave, she ignored her??(what kind of psychopathic behaviour is this?)

Not to mention the lack of support for palestine, after wanting to be on the right side of history, per formative activism, fake feminism, stealing candy from olivia who's like half her age or something, using sabrina to rub salt on her wounds, blocking charlie in the uk charts, and now trying to re-write history like "I wrote folklore and evermore alone on the phone with aaron and jack" Does this woman ever stop?

She lost a lot of respect with that one. The excitement i felt for midnights is gone. she hasn't changed, she will never change. But I'm tired. I can't keep up with her anymore.

Now what's going to happen? I'll tell you what. she and travis will break up and then she's going to drop another "masterpiece" and bitch and moan about how much of a terrible boyfriend her was. And its going to be in the genre that travis likes because taylor doesn't make music about herself, always about her boyfriends. She's not going to grow up. But I have. I can't put up with her anymore.

!!!

[goodnightmemes]

EVIL DEAD (2013) SENTENCE STARTERS

trigger warning for violence, foul language, and horror. feel free to change pronouns / terms / tense as needed!

❛ Only the evil book can undo what the evil book has done. ❜

❛ Please. I just want to go home. ❜

❛ [name]'s dead. You know that. You killed her. ❜

❛ No, why are you saying these things? ❜

❛ I'll rip your soul out, you pathetic fuck! ❜

❛ I will kill you like I killed your whore! ❜

❛ You were supposed to be here two hours ago. ❜

❛ I'll be damned. You actually came. ❜

❛ I know I look like road kill. ❜

❛ You're a charming liar, as always. ❜

❛ We always loved this place, didn't we? ❜

❛ I thought you didn't believe in that kind of stuff. ❜

❛ Promise me you'll stay with me until the end. ❜

❛ Looks like someone broke in. ❜

❛ Some teenagers probably just broke in here to drink beer and bump uglies. ❜

❛ Let's make this place livable. ❜

❛ I don't think you need sad memories in your head right now. ❜

❛ I wanted to be there. Okay? I did. ❜

❛ This time the only way is the hard way. ❜

❛ Look, we all need to be together on this. Otherwise it won't work. ❜

❛ I came here to make things better with my sister, not worse. ❜

❛ I can't stand that fucking smell anymore. ❜

❛ Withdrawal's kicking in hard. ❜

❛ Oh, is that blood? ❜

❛ Careful. These steps are old and rotten. ❜

❛ What the fuck happened here? ❜

❛ No, no, no. Voodoo is more about dolls and personal artifacts. This is something different. ❜

❛ You shouldn't have touched anything from that basement. ❜

❛ I'm going insane here. I feel like I'm losing my mind. ❜

❛ We can't lose you again. ❜

❛ Oh, my God. I'm such an idiot. To think for once in my life, I could count on you. ❜

❛ She's talking about a woman in the woods. How the forest attacked her. ❜

❛ Well, don't you think we should take her to a hospital? ❜

❛ I feel like we're in over our heads here. ❜

❛ If we leave now, all of this mess will have been for nothing. ❜

❛ Please. You have to get me out of here. ❜

❛ There was something in the woods. And I think it's in here with us now. ❜

❛ Look, you know it's all in your head. Just try to get it together. ❜

❛ Please, would you just get rid of that thing? ❜

❛ Open the fucking door! ❜

❛ Well, nobody could have known she would do something so twisted! ❜

❛ No, you should have known! We've all been following your lead since we got here. ❜

❛ We should have left when [name] wanted to. ❜

❛ Everything's gonna be fine. ❜

❛ I don't know if you've noticed this, but nothing has been fine. And everything's been getting worse every second. ❜

❛ Put the gun down, please. Put the fucking gun down! ❜

❛ One by one, we will take you! ❜

❛ You are all going to die tonight. ❜

❛ This is impossible. I just gave her enough sedative to put a horse to sleep. ❜

❛ I gotta get the shrapnel out of my arm. ❜

❛ I don't think a tranquilizer's gonna do shit. 'Cause I don't think we're dealing with a freaking panic attack here! ❜

❛ I'm scared that what's happening to [name] has something to do with the fucking witchcraft in the basement! ❜

❛ Oh, my God! Why the fuck did you do that? ❜

❛ I did something terrible. ❜

❛ That thing I killed was not [name]. ❜

❛ I read a passage from that book. It was... It was some sort of prayer. I released something. I released something evil. ❜

❛ Why did you lock me down here? ❜

❛ You got violent and we didn't know what else to do. ❜

❛ Look, something really terrible has happened and we have to get out of here now. Okay? ❜

❛ He's not gonna let you leave! And he's not gonna stop till he has you. Until he has all of you! ❜

❛ I can smell your filthy soul. ❜

❛ [name]'s not here, you fucking idiot! ❜

❛ I don't know why, but I thought this would end it. ❜

❛ There's some translations, but...just scattered notes. They all refer to some... evil entity. A taker of souls. A demon. ❜

❛ This thing is attached to [name]'s soul like a leech. It's becoming her. ❜

❛ If we want to stop this, if we want to help [name]...I think we're gonna have to kill her. ❜

❛ We're not gonna fucking kill anybody! Are you listening to yourself? ❜

❛ It doesn't matter where we go. If we don't do something right now, we're all gonna be dead by then! ❜

❛ We're gonna get you ❜

❛ I had to do it. And I feel much better now. ❜

❛ These inscriptions are confusing, sometimes contradictory, but they're consistent about one thing. In order to stop this, the possessed must be cleansed. Purified. ❜

❛ Am I sure? Of course not. This is not a science book! ❜

❛ If she dies, then this thing is gonna die with her. ❜

❛ You're just a fucking coward. You know exactly what we have to do, but you're too scared to go through with it. ❜

❛ I'm gonna burn this fucking place down. And I'm gonna end this nightmare. ❜

❛ Why don't you just run away? Go hide beneath some rock somewhere. You know you're great at that. ❜

❛ Why are you hurting me? ❜

❛ Don't die on me, please! ❜

❛ Dying wouldn't be so bad right now. I just don't want to become the devil's bitch. ❜

❛ I'm gonna do what I gotta do. Okay? ❜

❛ Why do you hate me? I know you do. ❜

❛ You're gonna burn in hell for trying to kill me, you motherfucker! ❜

❛ I'm so sorry. I should have been there. I should've been there for you. ❜

❛ I've had enough of this shit. ❜

❛ I will feast on your soul. ❜

❛ Feast on this, motherfucker! ❜

[mysticstarlightduck]

✦ OC DEEP DIVE ✦

Thanks for the tag, @ominous-feychild (here)!

I'm gonna do this tag for Pyerce Ophyria and Tarah Ryllar from Supernova Initiative and Josh Aleta and Gwyn Whitewood from Scrapyard Boys!

What uncommon/common fear do they have?

Pyerce: Fear of being manipulated or being stuck in a situation that is out of his control; fear of making a terrible mistake/failing his kids; fear of clowns.

Tarah: Fear of being kidnapped or drugged (because she saw the same happen to her best friend, Eos); fear of the uncanny valley or things that seem normal but feel off; fear of being a disappointment to herself

Josh: Fear of being trapped (claustrophobia, but also fear of being contained by others); fear of being unredeemably evil (he wasn't exactly The Perfect Cousin - in fact he was quite the... complicated and annoying angsty teen, sometimes toxic but not more than any regular teen - prior to his abduction by the PHANTOM Industries, plus he has what they call an "evil power" because he controls fears/nightmares, so the constant pressure by his captors that "he is inherently evil and needs to be fixed" kind of broke him in a way)

Gwyn: Being unable to protect the ones she loves and herself; fear of being found and recaptured by the PHANTOM Industries; fear of Zander Corelli (the mob boss - and pimp - Adrien works for, who basically haunts his and the twins' lives for most of the duration of the WIP); fear of being trapped in the heat.

Do they have any pet peeves?

Pyerce: Corrupt governments to lie to their affiliates and discard their assets once they're no longer useful to them once that person isn't "useful" to them anymore. Not being fully aware of a situation. He also can't stand people who legitmatelly make excuses to be lazy and who leech off of others instead of trying to be proactive.

Tarah: She doesn't really like loud and repetive noises. Tarah also hates bureaucracy - with a passion - especially when it gets in the way something she has a time crunch on succeeding or when it prevents active change in an environment.

Josh: People who are nosy and try to pry on other's private matters - on another hand, he can't stand people who care too much about what others will think and have that constant "but what will the neighbours think?!" mindset. It gets on his nerves.

Gwyn: Being pressured - especially when there's something time sensitive involved - which usually makes her panic and spiral rather than to figure out what to do faster. On a sadder note, she doesn't like people who get too handsy with others in an uncomfortable way - she's seen Adrien's patrons do that all too often and now she has a "touch (me/my siblings/my friends) and you won't fucking have hands" mentality.

What are 3 items you can find in their bedroom?

Pyerce: Coffee candies, hidden weapons of all kinds (remember he's a retired assassin, and the most dangerous assassin there ever was at that), and probably some messy crayon drawings that Gabi and Morgan made when they were kids (because he's their dad and cherishes the memories)

Tarah: Her best friend's unfinished woven bracelet, protein bars, hooded cloaks and generally oversized hoodies that can help her hide her features when on the run.

Josh: Weights (to stay fit), a radio playing vintage rock music, a nightlight (he's afraid of the dark but doesn't want anyone to know)

Gwyn: Cheesy potato chips, tickets for a comedy show or for the movies, a giraffe plushie she won at a fair

What do they notice first in a person?

Pyerce:... Everything. He's the ultimate secret agent/assassin - so I think he'd pretty much have a clear picture of that person with just a quick once over or a glance. Black Widow/John Wick-style, like a very meticulously detailed analisys of that person.

Tarah: If they look like they're trying to deceive her, catch her or if they're generally a threat to her or her friends. She is also pretty good at reading people's feelings from their facial expressions.

Josh: If he can take them in a fight or if he needs to run. How imposing they are or if that person is trying to intimidate him. Because of his powers, if he tries to, Josh can immediately see/find out what that person's worst nightmare/fear is (his power is Nightmare Manipulation) and choose to do with that information whatever is more relevant.

Gwyn: If they seem nice or friendly. She's bad at navigating social cues because she has spent the past three years locked up in a lab and the years before that in an isolated household, and generally just wants to make friends.

On a scale of 1 to 10, how high is their pain tolerance?

Pyerce:

Emotional: 8, but pretends its a 10

Physical: +11

Tarah:

Emotional: -1 (squishy, kind hearted, anxious baby girl)

Physical: 6

Josh:

Emotional: Before his capture = 5, but didn't let it show too much; After his capture = -4 but pretends its a +10 in really extreme ways

Physical: 9 (before and after), unless some kind of psychological trickery is also tied to it - in that case its a 0

Gwyn:

Emotional: 7, sometimes too oblivious to stuff though tends to overthink

Physical: 8

Do they go into fight or flight mode when under pressure? (I'm also including freeze and fawn)

Pyerce: Goes "Scorched Earth" kind of Fight Reflex - especially when it involves protecting his daughters. And because he is the most lethal assassin of his generation, whoever is threatening/pressuring him better run - though that will only stall the inevitable.

Tarah: Usually Flight 100% - she's the embodiment of deer in headlights and will bolt at any sign of danger even if that just a misunderstanding. However, if the danger is too overwhelming or too similar to her past traumas, she tends to freeze.

Josh: Before his capture - his first instinct was Fight. He is and was a very angry and stubborn person, who tends to have fits of rage when scared or frustrated and who often lashed out in ways he later regretted but was too headstrong to apologize for, often in a bully-like way but not fully - much like Billy Hargrove from Stranger Things. After his capture - if the pressure is psychological or triggers him, he tends to go into an "unique" Freeze mode in which he acts as if in a trance - his conscience feels distant and detached, but his powers are lashing out in Fight mode to protect him from whoever is triggering him. If his former captors are specifically involved, he tends to go into a complete Fawn reflex to appease them.

Gwyn: Fight, especially if she has to protect herself and her loved ones, or when she wants revenge. If there's absolutely no other choice she may choose Flight to Fight another day.

Do they come from a big family/are they a family person?

Pyerce:

Original Family unknown

After he quit being an assassin, he dedicated his life to raising his two adoptive daughters Gabi (the one he adopted first) and Morgan (the second one he adopted), so I would definetly say he is a family kind of guy, despite his murderous past.

Tarah:

Her father was killed when she was a little girl and though she was saved by her godmother, Tarah ended up having to flee the Junction galaxies all alone with Eos (her godmother's son) after her godmother too was truck down by the Junction.

Tarah is fiercely devoted to those she calls family, especially Eos, who is her best friend and who is like a brother to her.

Josh:

He was orphaned at a young age, and his original parents are a mystery. Currently, before his capture, he used to live with adoptive/foster parents (Erin's uncle and aunt) but they weren't very close at all, and he was kidnapped by the PHANTOM Industries shortly after.

Not really. He used to be very troublesome, rude, brutish and often harsh towards anyone that tried to show kindness to him, because he saw it as a scheme and feared he didn't deserve it. That lead him to have a bully kind of behavior to pretty much everyone for years and to be a certified rule breaker who often made things worse than they needed to be. However, deep down, he was developing some semblance of a friendship with his adoptive cousin Erin, but they still argued a lot and he was kidnapped before he could truly have a sibling bond with her. After escaping, he was so conditioned by the Industries to believe he is evil that he thinks he is unworthy of love and respect and that he is a dnager to anyone who tries to get close to him, so he takes a skittish approach to others now.

Gwyn:

Her mother was a troubled, but kind, young lady who had many boyfriends in her youth and didn't really know how to handle parenthood yet and wanted to find out more about herself first. So Gwyn, her twin - Rhys - and their half-brother Adrien (from their mom's first boyfriend) ended up living most of their childhood with their toxic grandparents. A few years after Adrien was kicked out of home at 15, Rhys and Gwyn developed superpowers after coming into contact with a chemical factory leak, and were sent by their grandparents to the Spectre Academy. After they tried to escape at first, they were sent by the Academy to be lab rats of the PHANTOM Industries.

She is - especially when it comes to her twin brother Rhys and their half-brother Adrien. They're the only family each other has ever had, so they kind of have a "us against the world" kind of mindset, though they still have a lot of getting reacquaintted to do with Adrien since they were apart for so long.

What animal represents them best?

Pyerce: A black wolf

Tarah: Hummingbird

Josh: Either a raccoon or feral cat

Gwyn: Arctic fox

What is a smell that they dislike?

Pyerce: The smell of rotten things - especially rotten blood or flesh (a.k.a he is an assassin who hates the smell of corpses)

Tarah: Scent of alcohol and the smell of a lot/too much of perfume.

Josh: Laboratory smells and also the smell of mold.

Gwyn: She generally hates the smell of sweat and unwashed things.

Have they broken any bones?

Pyerce: Yes, many times in his former career, but not once since he quit it.

Tarah: Not really, just a sprained ankle once when she was a kid

Josh: A couple times, most when he was being experimented on.

Gwyn: Not really, probably.

How would a stranger likely describe them?

Pyerce: A quiet and introvertedly serious man who wants to just live his life and do his own thing, who most people don't know much about but who is a genuine benefactor to many and is also a doting father.

Tarah: That skittish kid with the woven bracelets and the multicolored nail polish who never stays in one place and always feels like she's too scared or too anxious to talk to anyone she doesn't fully know.

Josh: A troublemaking, brutish and angry teenager who is always looking for new ways to cause chaos, who doesn't obey any rules and doesn't give a fuck about anyone, and is also rude to most people he doesn't know and harsh to those he does know. The weird kid that is always causing grownups a headache.

Gwyn: It depends on the stranger. If the stranger is with Zander's mob, they'll probably address her as 'Ametrine's' sister (Adrien's stage name is Ametrine) or if they're keen on being especially rude, they'll probably call her "the stripper's brat" or "that girl who is always walking around with Zander's plaything". Yeah. They're not... kind to them. But most other strangers would describe her as a lively, bright headed, kind young lady with a big heart who wants to have fun and has a sparkling laughter.

Are they a night owl or an early bird?

Pyerce: Probably both?

Tarah: Night owl in an unsettling (looming) way

Josh: Night owl - poor boi has insomnia and night terrors

Gwyn: Morning bird, also in an unsettling (but giddy) way

What is a flavour they hate and a flavour they love?

Pyerce:

Loves: Well cooked, refined meals with rare spices

Hates: Painfully sweet desserts, like the nauseatingly sweet ones

Tarah:

Loves: Spicy fried food

Hates: Alcohol

Josh:

Loves: Comfort food (pizza)

Hates: Bland food or sticky food

Gwyn:

Loves: Ice Cream; Cheesy Potato Chips

Hates: Spicy food

Do they have any hobbies?

Pyerce: Sharpshooting, listening to music, growing poisonous flowers, reading cheap romance books

Tarah: Dancing, rollerskating, helping stray animals, learning new languages, talking about her favorite movies

Josh: Reading comic books, weightlifting, driving around aimlessly on stolen cars, listening to rock, watching rom-coms (hates horror movies)

Gwyn: Going to ice cream shops, watching stand up comedy shows, walking around the city at night, making ice sculptures on the window with her powers,

Boom, surprise birthday party! How do they react to surprises?

Pyerce: Calm happiness and a bit of surprise. After so many years out of the field as an assassin, he's learned to enjoy the joys of regular life, and honestly is always glad to do so.

Tarah: Initial panic but it would then turn into awkward joy as she realizes the situation is harmless. She would probably not know how to properly navigate it and be confused at how to proceed.

Josh: WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS - (almost has a heart attack out of fear, needs three cups of water and a cookie to calm down then is like). Oh, fuck yeah I like this, let's party! Just... don't scare me next time.

Gwyn: "Omg, yay, this is literally so cool guys!!!! I wanna try all the candy, and dance to the music and have fun, oh gosh there are so many gifts this is so cool -!" (rambles on)

Do they like to wear jewelry?

Pyerce: Not really. Likes some nice silver rings though.

Tarah: The woven bracelets she and her best friend made for each other.

Josh: Yeah kinda. Loves rings and necklaces with funny designs of cartoonishly styled ghosts or skulls, and wears some necklaces.

Gwyn: Doesn't really understand the concept of how to style jewelry into a daily outfit but digs it nonetheless

Do they have neat or messy handwriting?

Pyerce: Neat

Tarah: In between, tends towards messy.

Josh: Messy & adds too much pressure to it

Gwyn: In between and scribbles doodles and cute heart shaped designs around it

What are the two emotions they feel the most?

Pyerce: Calmness and The Need To Protect

Tarah: Anxiety and awkward joy

Josh: Anger and Fear/Dread/Panic

Gwyn: Love for her family/friends & giddy happiness of experiencing the real world

Do they have a favourite fabric?

Pyerce: Anything that is stylishly black and also comfortable, practical and probably bulletproof

Tarah: Flannel, cotton, yarn

Josh: Leather, jeans, soft cotton

Gwyn: Light polyester, cotton and fluffy jackets

What kind of accent do they have?

Pyerce: A soft, more neutral version of a "Junction" accent

Tarah: Central Junction accent that has faded away into a mismatched Khosmonian Accent

Josh: Probably some mix of accent Detroit and New York? (The city of this WIP is based on IRL ones but is also very much fictional)

Gwyn: Not sure but probably similar to Josh's (same city) but with a very slight Northern lilt to it? (The city of this WIP is based on IRL ones but is also very much fictional)

Tagging (gently): @sleepy-night-child, @kaylinalexanderbooks, @smol-feralgremlin, @oh-no-another-idea, @littleladymab,

@winterandwords, @eccaiia, @sarahlizziewrites, @illarian-rambling

@agirlandherquill, @anoelleart, @ray-writes-n-shit

@writernopal, @anyablackwood, @unstablewifiaccess, @forthesanityofstorytellers, @finickyfelix

@i-can-even-burn-salad, @cakeinthevoid,

@lassiesandiego, @thepeculiarbird, @clairelsonao3, @memento-morri-writes, @starlit-hopes-and-dreams and OPEN TAG

[sasha199]

Gale/ Rolan Drama Part 18

Read all of me on A03

Mayhem and Madness

Rating: E

Summary: Sasha and Marlie are out fighting in the darkness...and by fighting I mean arguing.

Pairings: Gale & Fem Human Tav

SFW just some cuddling

Y’all…this game hits different when your Tav is a stand in for yourself.

My sister and I are playing a multiplayer as ourselves, as sisters. I (Sasha) am romancing both Gale and Rolan. Sister (Marlie) is pulling both Astarion and Shadowheart.

I feel disgusting. I pull another chunk of...something out of my hair, wincing. It’s dried and matted. I flick it into the dirt, trying not to look too closely.

“What the fuck were you thinking.” Marlie’s voice is tight with anger, every word snaps.

It’s not a question, and even if it was I wouldn’t bother to answer.

“There were un-dead Harpers in our path, and they had a creepy ass dog with them.” I can’t stop moving. Nervous energy is coursing through me, I feel like my insides are itching. “How was I supposed to know the githyanki would be lying in wait?” I glance at her as I turn to walk the length of the fire pit again, her face is stoic, frigid.

“Right, because it’s not like Voss, the fucking kith’rak himself, TOLD us the githyanki would be coming or anything. You have a FUCKING psionic detector on your person for this exact reason-”

“I sent the message, I asked for help-“

“AFTER you’d already triggered a FUCKING ambush.”

“None of this would matter if your boyfriend could aim. How does he miss-”

“Don’t act like you're EVER within five feet of an enemy-”

“That shouldn’t matter when he’s wearing that stupid ring!”

“It FUCKING matters, Sasha. I DIED because of your carelessness.”

The image of her crumpled body flashes in my mind. I send it to her, through the tadpole. The desperation and rage I felt coat my tongue with a bitter taste. Something twists inside me. I un-clench my fists.

“Please stop pacing. Just stop walking around.” Marlie sounds exhausted. She rubs her face with her gloved hands, smearing the streaks of grime.

I stand in front of the cold fire pit, shifting my weight from foot to foot. I don’t know that it was my fault, exactly. I keep going over the moment in my mind, when I made the call and motioned Minthara to get low to the ground. I should’ve reached out to Marlie as soon as I’d spotted the Harpers. I’d hoped we could still circle around unseen. I remembered the feeling of the detector buzzing in my pocket. The panic that had gripped me as the gith appeared on the bridge.

My bottom lip trembles. Fuck fuck fuck I have a headache from all this crying. “I said I was sorry. The last thing I wanted was for you to-” I take a deep breath unable to say it, and start again. “I know that doesn’t fix anything and it’s not Astarion’s fault…”

“He saved you.” Her voice is soft steel, like the whisk of a dagger being drawn, “Even after I was gone he still came back for you, and you dare to blame him. For my death? How could you be so fucking ungrateful.”

I can feel the spike of rage in my gut, the righteous anger broiling. Ungrateful?

“That man...that vampire…” I hiss between clenched teeth. I hate that I owe him my life, I hate owing him anything. “He always has an agenda. You think my life matters to him? He does nothing...NOTHING… for the benefit of others.”

“Get off your high horse.” She sneers at me, “you’ll get a nosebleed.”

“How can you not see it?” There’s a note of despair in my voice. This can’t be happening again. I know I'm at the precipice of something, I can sense the breech looming before me. I leap anyway.

“He’s a leech! All he knows is power and blood lust. It’s all he talks about! He goes on and on about how terrible his master is, but he’s no better. It disgusts me, the way he uses you, but what’s worse is that you LET him.” 

Marlie’s eyes are storms, the stoic indifference replaced with cold fury, “Astarion is not Cazador. If you would open your eyes and stop JUDGING for one fucking second, you would see-”

“What? What would I see, Marlie?”

“That he is more.” Her tone is icy, her body tense, like an avalanche about to unleash. “More than what what he was made to be. More than anything you could possibly believe. We both are.” Her hand twitches.

“We? What we? I am talking about the fucking spawn!”

“His name is Astarion.” She moves quickly, a dagger in the dark, closing the gap between us in the span of a heartbeat. “I won’t remind you again.”

We stare at each other, cold blue eyes and burning green.

She pulls back from me, and a smile overtakes her delicate features, making them fierce and deadly. “By the grace of our mother’s blood, I will let you walk away. Do it. Now.”

A moment passes, another.

I leave.

***

***

“I am judgmental.”

“Yes.”

I lift my arm from over my eyes, “You’re not supposed to agree with me, Gale.”

He pauses in combing my hair, I told him it was pointless without a wash, that it would just frizz out completely, but he insisted. He bends down and kisses the top of my head, “I know, darling. Alas, the truth is we all judge occasionally. You tend to partake a bit more often than others, especially when it comes to your sister. You’re protective of her, it’s endearing.”

“I just don’t want to lose her.” I wince as the comb snags on a particularly stubborn knot.

“You can’t lose what’s already yours, my love.” He leans on me, I relish the feeling as his strong arms envelope me. “Astarion is not a threat to what you have with Marlie. In fact, I am most grateful for his actions on the field today. Without his quick thinking, I fear you would not be here with me now.”

I sigh. Gale’s right of course, it was wrong of me to lash out at Astarion when the person I’m most upset with is myself. “I still don’t think he’s right for her.”

“And you are absolutely entitled to that opinion. But if you value your relationship with Marlie, as you say you do, I’d keep that particular insight to yourself. Or at least between us. Your judgments are always safe with me.”

I smile and nuzzle into his beard. He kisses my neck and I close my eyes. My rib is still sore but Shadowheart said it would take time for the pain to pass completely. I’ll have to apologize (again). I should say something to Astarion too. I hate that I called him a spawn, that was wrong. He doesn’t deserve that. But I can’t shake the feelings that plague me as I curl up next to Gale.

I did my best to be tolerant (if not outright supportive) of their relationship. I said almost nothing when Marlie awoke from a night’s rest bloodless and disoriented. I worked hard to ignore his snide remarks when I turned down payment for helping people. I hid my revulsion when he implied he was interested in accepting Raphael’s deal, and I knew he and Marlie were guzzling tadpoles without a second thought for their own safety. Marlie had tried her best to hide THAT from me, but I saw her powers growing in combat…her potential.

The truth is the closer Astarion and Marlie get the more I feel pushed out.

I don’t feel threatened in the same way by Shadowheart, despite her twisted perspective on religion and Shar worship. My relationship with her is more or less open, friendly even. Is that the right course of action? Do I have to really become friends with Astarion? I feel myself frown. Easier said than done. Or is it something about our past. Marlie’s and mine, that needs to be mended instead. The long years of silence and worry before the Nautaloid…we’ve never talked about it. Or about what came before…a part of me hoped we would never have to. I'd wanted to let the past vanish into smoke, like Father had.

It seems none of our bad blood would be erased without effort.

As I feel sleep take me, in that middle space, where I can still twitch awake, I find myself walking through a forest. My hands are being held on either side. A golden-haired girl on my right try to rush ahead, and I have to gently pull her back every third step or so. She laughs treating it like a game. There’s another girl on my left, also younger than me, holding my hand much less firmly. Her hair is a lighter brown than mine, but we share the same tight curls. Every step she takes is tentative and hesitant, I almost have to coax her along. We look more alike than the golden haired girl and I, but our connection is...uncertain.

We three suddenly stop, and there are other people around us. A man and a woman, an elf and a human, also holding hands. They smile at each other. A warmth settles over me, a feeling that comes to me only in this place, with these people. A wholeness. I look up and gasp to see beautiful pink flower petals. They cascade down in a bright shower, dancing in the sunlight and I hear laughter. My mother’s laughter and I suddenly recognize the “wholeness” I’m feeling.

Family.

We always feel like family here, even though we are far apart from each other most of the year. I spend my days trawling on pontoon boats with cousins in the swamps to the east. My sisters are with my mother’s clan in the southwest, in the plains and deserts of her people. Father follows the herds to the north riding through rolling hills on horse back with other ranchers, cattle dogs loping at their heels.

But every spring, when the seasons shift we return here, together, to the banks of the Chionthar outside of Baldur’s Gate. We sit and watch the cherry blossoms fall, and sing. I hum the tune to myself, it comforts me, because I know that no matter how far we stray, mother says, if we follow the river it will always lead us back to each other. To this place.

Family.

As I sing my sisters join in, and I begin to cry.

Down down down by the river...

[rappaccini]

okay spidergwen 4d chess is evolving to spidergwen 8d chess for this one.

if synergy with the spiderverse movies got comics-gwen into this crisis of character consistency where gwen can't go home to earth 65, can't come out of the closet, and can't even refer to herself as an adult, the long game for neutralizing gwiles and restoring gwen's character is using synergy to pull her out of it.

but even then it's gonna be a fucking rollercoaster ride that could derail at any time and the realistic best-case scenario will still lead to gwiles happening again, just makorrafied.

here's the short version:

now walk with me:

first, gwen's always been and always will be subject to synergy. all comics characters are, but gwen is especially vulnerable to it.

her creation in 2014 right after the general audience learned gwen died barely a year ago in amazing spider-man 2, ship teasing her with peter immediately and and being kept on a pedestal away from all spider-men but him? absolutely meant to capture emma stone/andrew garfield nostalgia. to the point where the original voice in people's heads when they read gwen's comics was absolutely emma's.

ten years ago, petergwen was the original gwiles. it was a ship between gwen and a far more popular spider-man that reduced her to the role of supportive girlfriend, took her away from her world, her stories and the people who love her, prevented her from being her own person-- and wouldn't let her explore her sexuality. and it felt like a given that it would happen.

like i remember reading those original spiderverse comics in 2014, being afraid gwen was just going to be a plot device to make peter parker sad. that she'd get killed by morlun at the end of the arc, and he'd have even more gwen angst. and then, after she lived, that he'd throw away decades of development for a terrible fling with a barely-legal variant of his dead girlfriend.

instead, that didn't happen. because a lot of writers and editors worked like fuck for years to keep it from happening. they kept them apart, or kept their interactions on a tight leash. now, ten years later, peter and gwen's interactions have a big brother/little sister vibe. they're out of the danger zone. the consensus is "peter and gwen sometimes have tension early in their dynamic, but they get past it and stay friends" and that's rippled out into other media's spider-peter and spider-gwen dynamics (the marvel's spider-man cartoon? does exactly that. gwen and peter have a shiptease, but ultimately stay friends).

the arrival of the spiderverse movies did half the heavy lifting, because gwen's character started taking cues from those movies instead. the pressure to pair peter/gwen shifted to miles/gwen.

it went nowhere for a bit. they aren't friends. they just team up occasionally in group settings. miles is with tiana toomes and gwen's solo, while it lasted, gave her a few dates with harry and she's one conversation away from getting together with em jay. it felt like they were leaving the danger zone too.

but atsv pushed them back in the red. now years of the same anti-petergwen care must be applied to salvage that dynamic and protect gwen's character in the comics and any other media where she appears (movies? games? cartoons? same principle. keep them the fuck apart and give them other love interests to kill that vibe before it can poison anything else).

there's still a clear road out and a few different ways to get there. one of the simplest ones is the same way we got into this mess: use the synergy.

it takes time, careful writing, an alternate ship, and a new property for editorial to leech off of to change the flow of synergy and stop a bad plotline from taking root.

so... where do we seem to be going, and how can we escape?

the spiderverse era:

we know the drill: spiderverse synergy yields an ongoing where editorial wants gwen away from earth 65, in the multiverse, hanging around peter and miles, ambiguously a teenager, and the writer has no choice but to follow those edicts if they want the gig. we've done this already with the mcguire run. we're doing it again right now with the phillips run. we'll probably do it at least one more time when btsv hits.

itsv synergy led to gwen exploring the multiverse when not on 65 (and a character beat where miles crushes on her and she's totally indifferent), the book flopping and getting canned 10 issues in, a relaunch about commuting from 65 to 616 with her eventually moving to 616 for good, that one getting canned after 10 issues too, gwen hanging around 616 and helping out in a few events, and then several multiverse-themed miniseries that put gwen back in 65 without much explanation, eventually ending in her back home for the whole story... and getting extremely close to coming out of the closet and starting a romance with em jay.

atsv synergy is trying to plant gwen in 616 For Good this time, and putting her in a few movie-tie-in events to seal the deal... and nobody wants it. the announcement of gwen's new status quo was met with annoyance and indifference from non-gwen fans, and disappointment from gwen fans. nobody wants this thing except for a minority of hardcore gwiles shippers who don't even buy her comics.

we're probably looking at a similar pattern as last time's attempt: a flop that's canned after a few arcs (maybe even 10 issues), a possible stab at gwiles during the book, a possible relaunch and likely second flop if the 616 status quo is kept, then back to miniseries that gradually return her to her own world. (it would be great if gwen keeps her ongoing and is quietly sent back to 65, possibly even with the same writer, but we can't bet on that.)

btsv comes out in 3-5 years. whatever progress gwen does make towards making it home will likely be yanked back because we'll probably rinse and repeat the sv synergy shit again: another gwen-in-616/multiverse-themed ongoing relaunch that flops, followed by miniseries, probably with gwiles round 3 cranked up even harder somewhere along the way.

-> but maybe 🤞 with gwen confirmed as bisexual by that point. they might not let gwen get a girlfriend in under 5 years, but letting her say "i'm bi" feels possible. she's one conversation away from coming out, and her writers keep putting her in queercoded storylines with women she has chemistry with. at some point, all that momentum's going to break through.

for the immediate future, it's not looking good.

what's that? it's cindy moon with a steel chair!

by then the moonissance should be underway thanks to the insomniac spider-man 3 game dropping around btsv. cindy moon/silk is insomniac's spider-woman instead of ghost-spider.

yes, there was that scrapped multiplayer concept where spider-gwen's a prominent character. but it was scrapped.

if gwen's in the games, she'll have a supporting role, most likely as a civilian, hopefully not as peter or miles' love interest. maybe as cindy's.

-> if gwen is miles's interest, fuck. (unlikely: insomniac's pretty committed to hailey, and tiana toomes is semi-canon thanks to a tie-in novel. it's more likely for them to favor those love interests than cram gwen in out of nowhere.)

-> if she's peter's, it's annoying but salvageable. (also unlikely: it'd be pretty dumb to build up peter/mj as a committed relationship just to replace her with gwen right as they're about to settle down)

-> ... but if she's cindy's? this might be the ace in the hole.

if ism3 comes out before btsv, btsv instantly becomes outdated for putting gwen back in the closet for a straight ship. that poisons the gwiles synergy well ("are you really sure you want to get them together if it means turning miles into the kind of homophobic douchebag who'd shove gwen back in the closet so he can kiss her whenever he wants?").

if ism3 comes out after, then gwiles's chokehold on the post-btsv fandom gets an immediate rebuttal, and if comics-gwen was forced into a romance with miles during the btsv synergy era, cindy gives her a clear path out: coming out, possibly leaving miles for cindy (... and, since miles's reputation is the one they'll want to protect, giving him a way to step aside that makes him look good by framing him as an ally who graciously gives up his romance so gwen can be happy). no matter what, gwiles takes a serious hit and is forever associated with gwen being in the closet.

if gwen's not openly bi in the comics yet, they might go there to ride insomniac's coattails, and tease a gwen/cindy ship for synergy's sake. we keep insisting on em jay being gwen's first girlfriend, but cindy might be the dark horse who takes it.

(even if it's just queerbait, fine. it's another female love interest dangled in front of gwen, and it makes both characters' queerness harder to deny.)

then we have the spiderverse spin-off spider-women to contend with. first, it may not happen at all; all three female superhero team movies we've gotten so far haven't done well financially or been fondly received, and we've gotten basically no info about sw other than a vague suggestion that they still want to do it.

if it happens, it'll be 3-5 years after btsv.

and if spider-women releases... first of all, gwen might be single after the events of btsv, or she'll get a birds-of-prey-2020 plot about finding herself after breaking up with miles, which are the better scenarios but the most unlikely. in the event that sv gwen is still Miles's Girlfriend, the plot is supposedly intended to be a multiversal adventure centering gwen, jess drew and cindy moon so hopefully he won't be in it much or at all.

regardless, there's going to be a comic tie-in. synergy will send gwen on an interdimensional team-up event with whoever the cast are. and since cindy's going to be riding high off ism3... even if she isn't in sw, she'll still probably appear in some capacity, and this'll likely be the second round of synergy that pairs her and gwen.

no matter the context of the relationship or whether sw releases, gwen and cindy's bond is likely to get a big focus in a few years. it's just a question of what kind of relationship it'll be. are gwen and cindy going to be friends, harley-and-ivy-circa-2013-'friends' or a canon couple?

and even if gwen doesn't appear at all in the games or they're not shipped at all, cindy is on track to become the new Default Spider-Woman: she's a lead in one of the biggest games in the world, which will definitely be released, there's a slim chance the tv series might be revived, and cindy will almost certainly be in spider-women and is likely to be the breakout character of that lineup. even if only the game happens, cindy will still be the newest, hottest toy to play with.

which means in 5-10 years, we're either looking at a spider-quad, with peter, miles, gwen and cindy... or, since trios are easier to adapt and market, cindy could get the push from editorial to replace gwen as the One Girl in the trio and become the default female spider for a new generation of kids to relate to (... and more importantly, for their parents to buy merchandise of).

therefore, gwen could finally go home for good, assuming she hasn't already.

if gwen doesn't have an ongoing at the time spider-women happens, she'll probably get one again. or at the bare minimum, she'll get a mini.

possibly even as an openly bisexual character because even if gwen doesn't come out in the comics until then/isn't queer in the games, the resistance to her coming-out will be a lot smaller because:

-> a) the unspoken concern keeping gwen in the closet-- that making ghost-spider queer will lead homophobic parents to refuse to buy their kids her merch anymore-- will no longer be that big of a loss if it does happen, because if silk takes ghost-spider's place as the new Flagship Female Spider, it'll be expected that parents will be buying silk stuff for their kids instead. marvel's still getting their money, just from a different girl.

-> b) which means there's room to tap into a new market. and since the spider-gwen fandom that remain with her will be teens and young adults who would buy her shit even if she's queer (maybe even especially if she's queer)... well, there's your money.

-> c) the 'think of the children' excuse doesn't work if the children in question aren't kids anymore or aren't even into gwen in the first place because they're all about cindy, and if those kids' parents can't get mad at marvel for trying to market gwen to an audience of children when they aren't even doing that. remember, harley quinn didn't get to be canonically bi until she was repackaged as a more mature character for a primarily teen-to-adult audience.

-> d) just saying. the spiderverse is supposedly about showing how anyone can be a spider-hero... yet we still don't have a major canonically queer spider. that's the one part of the spiderverse that marvel's stayed quiet on. which means there's a gap to be filled in the story-- and (here's what marvel cares about:) an audience that has yet to be reached out to, who will give them money and good press when they do it.

gwen is the ideal character to be that first queer main spider-hero because it's a core part of her story, there's already a demand for it, and if the right choices are made about which characters and relationships to promote, the backlash to her coming out will fade away with time and become smaller than the potential gain.

we don't know what the climate for queer characters in kids' media will be in 6-10 years. maybe it'll be so good that gwen's queerness won't affect her presence in spider-man stories. maybe she'll be allowed to come out... and then quietly shuffled out of the main lineup. but even if marvel sidelines gwen away from the Straight Spiders, that benefits her character because it means there's a lot less pressure on her to be on earth-616. which means she can go home and stay there.

gwen's stories are already queer as hell, even with all the synergy and the pressure of being every little girl's spider-hero keeping her in the closet. when that weight is off her back, maybe that'll be all we need to go for it.

it took five years to get gwen away from amazing spider-man nostalgia and the threat of being Peter's Designated Girlfriend, and they did it with a combo of controlling their interactions to keep them from getting together and shifting to the spiderverse and making gwen Miles's Designated Girlfriend. it'll take ten more years to get her away from spiderverse synergy and the threat of gwiles. and the way to do that is to avoid miles wherever possible, keep building towards gwen's coming-out and shift to riding insomniac's coattails to get us there.

(hell, the five-year overlap opening will probably repeat too. in the five years between asm2 and itsv, peter/gwen started to fade away as she was pushed towards miles without being consistently shipped yet... which created an opportunity for gwen to develop romantic interests in harry, em jay and possibly hobie. there'll probably be one between btsv and spider-women, and insomniac spider-man 3 will be out by then. good time to get some distance from gwiles and give her a gf.)

the most efficient way to do this is by confirming gwen's bisexuality as fast as possible in the comics and games, but because of cindy taking gwen's place, the path's still there even if they don't move on it until after spider-women comes out.

... but then we'll have live-action miles probably in development for sony or the mcu, assuming it doesn't happen even sooner. there's no mention of a live-action spider-gwen solo movie or show in consideration (or even an animated show), so at this point, if gwen shows up in other media, it'll be as a supporting character in miles or peter's story.

and that could make or break things for good.

the live-action era:

we'll see how old she is compared to miles and peter, and who their love interests will be. that determines everything.

1) if it's a sony movie about miles, it's more likely than not that gwen's going to be his age/his love interest. sony made the spiderverse movies, lord and miller and pascal (who love the ship) would still probably have creative influence, everyone expects it, you know it's coming.

even if gwen isn't spider-gwen, editorial's gonna force another round of gwiles synergy all over again and the clock's reset to zero. insert another gwen-in-616 attempt, another forced gwiles attempt, another refusal to let her come out and another ten years of unraveling her from that mess.

-> and because it's live-action, everybody will have seen it. unlike video games and animated movies, which have broader appeal than comics, but are still somewhat limited.

-> but if it's a sony movie, it's probably gonna be a mess that'll leave a bad taste in people's mouths and not have much longevity. hopefully there'd be an opening to wiggle out of there.

-> if gwen isn't his love interest / isn't in the sony film at all, well there you go. whoever that girlfriend is will get a boost, and gwen will have that gwiles pressure off her back. it's possible. just don't be optimistic.

2) if it's a spiderverse teamup... pack it up. they'll shoehorn spider-gwen in since she's the most popular female spider-hero, she'll be a bland girlboss who'll probably be shipped with miles or peter. earth 65 takes another hit. the damage may be irreparable because spider-gwen will be seen by everyone as their love interest.

3) but in terms of the mcu, they'll definitely do miles someday, but they're gonna put peter first.

if i had to guess, peter's getting a college trilogy. maybe not after he has his 'neglect peter in favor of spider-man' arc, but he's gotta have his college movies at some point. when peter graduates at the end of sm6, and we no longer have a teen/young adult spider-man for kids to relate to, that's the ideal time to introduce miles. and THEN miles gets his high school trilogy with peter as a mentor figure.

and since gwen was peter's love interest before she was miles's, and peter's iconic college relationships haven't been adapted yet, there's a 50/50 chance that she'll be introduced there, along with harry and a more comics-accurate version of mj.

(if gwen's introduced as a member of miles's cast, we're fucked. plain and simple. the transfer from being a part of peter's cast to being part of miles's will be complete in the eyes of the audience. that shit's gonna follow her everywhere forever, especially since the mcu lasts for fucking ever.)

if gwen is peter's age, ESPECIALLY if peter and gwen are a couple in his college years, we might get out of the gwiles pit for good:

a) gwen might die before ever meeting miles. and even if she doesn't...

b) there's no bigger bro code violation than dating your friend's ex. let alone your mentor's ex

c) the ick of live action college-aged-or-older gwen and high-school aged miles is impossible to reconcile. sitting in a tree on steroids. everyone who sees them together in any other medium (comics, games, cartoons, you name it) is just going to picture those actors, and no one will be able to brush the age gap aside for as long as these movies and the versions of their characters last. and it's the mcu, so it'll last a damn while. even a possible reboot/sony version will have that baggage attached.

so if gwen dates peter first, she'll never date miles in live-action without it being hated by everyone. and the comics will never want to revisit a romantic connection between them as a result. even though spider-gwen =/= peter's-gf-gwen, nobody's gonna see it that way. we can work with that!

petergwen synergy might make its way back... but we all know there's zero chance he won't end up with mj, in the movies, in the comics, in anything, so there's less danger there. the most that'll happen is spider-gwen having to pat peter while he cries on his shoulder about his dead gwen. annoying, but not derailing.

if gwiles happens in live-action, it's game over for fully moving past gwiles and being queer for good. gwen might survive the animated movies on their own, but not the one-two punch of animated movies and live-action. that would guarantee that she'll always be seen as miles's love interest, that they can never be friends without that threat looming over them, and that any progress she makes away from miles will likely be temporary before she's inevitably dragged back to him by editorial. we'll have to rely on comics contrivances like one more daying it or dropping continuity to get her out of there, and those will never last for good.

but if petergwen happens in the mcu, that makes the likelihood of a comics gwiles revisit slim for a solid decade. which creates a decade's worth of opportunity for gwen to seek other love interests that'll make gwiles's status lessen in importance even more.

add the ten year window where gwiles can't stop gwen from being bi to whatever happens in the comics in between sv movies and after insomniac's spider-man series wraps up. the bi gwen momentum is already chugging away. that window could be filled with female love interests who actually get to stick around. (giving gwen male love interests will just signal to straight fans that she's available for a straight romance because straight people don't understand what bisexuality is. she has to date women for that label to stick and for people to get the message that she doesn't belong to miles or peter.)

i know i keep circling back to 'make gwen bi', but it's the truth. the way to escape spiderverse synergy, gwen being stuck as Miles's Girlfriend forever, and gwen getting away from being Spider-Man's Girlfriend for good has been the same since 2018.

make gwen bisexual.

(yes, bi. the spiderverse movies introducing spider-gwen to a generation of kids as a girl who's attracted to men guaranteed that she'll never be a lesbian or asexual in canon. have your headcanons, but it's too late for that to ever happen in reality. if you're gonna campaign for a canonically-queer spider-gwen, you have to ask for her to be bi because that's the only type of queer that stands a chance at being canon someday. get mad at lord and miller, not me.)

(it'd be awesome if spiderverse-gwen's trans coding catches on... but it's just not likely enough to realistically hope for. marvel's far more likely to standardize making gwen bi than trans, and it wouldn't occur to them that she could be both. which she'd have to be, because ignoring ten years of buildup to gwen coming out as sapphic and saying 'hey! she's this other kind of queer but is still only into men!' isn't satisfying. gwen can be trans, but must be bi.)

it's been built up so strongly in the comics that it's not really a question of if she's bi anymore. it's when will they say it out loud? and will it stick or be shoved under the rug so gwiles can happen?

that's the issue. gwen's never been closer to coming out. it could happen as early as the very next issue of her ongoing. it could be next month, next year, a few years, in a decade... or it could literally never happen at all, because she'll get crammed into a romance with miles and her queerness will be stifled to keep her with him. and we have no idea which it'll be. that's what's so frustrating: we have no idea if we're about to get everything we've been waiting an entire decade for, or if it's getting taken away forever and gwen'll end up being the girl chappell roan's singing about in good luck babe!.

(and that's the thing with gwiles. no matter how much chemistry they have, or how well-executed the romance is in the spiderverse movies or anywhere else, this ship can only happen if gwen stifles her queerness, her need to go home to the world full of people who love and need her and her story... and the longer it goes on, the more miles becomes responsible for doing that to her. it's a homophobic, misogynistic gut-punch to both characters disguised as a happy ending. the movies haven't fixed this. if anything, by introducing this romance to the general public, they've guaranteed it'll spread to other canon and delay or permanently cut off her coming-out arc.)

other media is the factor that can speed up gwen's coming-out and make it definitive, or slow it down and reduce gwen to momentary bursts of queerness in between nonstop gwiles slog.

but even if gwiles happens and sticks, it's not the end of the world.

the obvious narrative way out has already been stated earlier: gwen comes out of the closet and leaves miles to explore her sexuality, and miles supports her in doing it.

look, every time they've been shipped together so far, gwen has always rejected him and he just keeps pushing, but the writers and fandom keep ignoring gwen's feelings because this ship isn't about gwen, or miles-and-gwen. it's about miles getting what he wants, which is a pretty white girl with a famous name and superpowers who can't stand up to him. therefore, the only way out that'll stick is for miles to be the one to end things.

the best way to redeem him for the homophobic undertones of encouraging her to stay in a romance she isn't capable of wanting, is for him to voluntarily end the relationship, wish her well, and support her in exploring her queerness.

it's the best way to end the relationship with miles looking as good as possible. and since the fandom and marvel are very defensive about miles and his ego, they're gonna want it to end in a way that makes him the good guy.

and it's also how we make this ship too radioactive to return to. once you show miles realizing the girl he likes is queer, and putting his feelings aside to support her, he can never go on and try to date that queer girl again without it being a hideous character assassination.

that's the best way to do it. but there are others. comics are meant to last forever, so the story will never have an ending. even marriage and kids, the typical ending, can be retconned or walked back. like, peter and mj were married for years, and then they weren't and still haven't gotten back together even though literally everyone in the fandom keeps demanding it. if that can happen to one of the most famous couples in comics, gwen can sure as hell make a deal with mephisto to retcon her comphet brats out of existence, especially since gwen-8 already technically attempted it in the latour run. hopefully it doesn't get to that point though.

if it does, here are some comics-specific ways out that don't revolve around gwen coming out and leaving miles to be openly queer. i am very aware that they suck, so let's just not gwiles at all please.

it was all a mysterio-induced illusion.

gwilesified gwen was a clone the whole time, and real spider-gwen's trapped or hiding somewhere.

amnesia plot. they forget they were ever together.

pull a batcat or kitty/colossus wedding. huge event that aggressively advertises a wedding that ends in the bride getting cold feet, realizing how wrong the relationship is and leaving the groom at the altar. good for her. make the fandom so angry about being blueballed that they won't want to see her in close proximity with miles again.

have gwen cheat on miles with someone; even better if it's his friend. for maximum chaos make it his clone or his best friend's dad. (if miles cheats, he'll be forgiven. if gwen cheats, she'll be witchhunted for decades by his fans... which means they'll never get back together!🥳).

have gwen go out for cigarettes and a carton of milk one night and simply not come back. 1) she would. especially if earth-8 happens. 2) it would make the miles fans hate her.

... kill gwen off. (it'll never be miles.) have miles move on. and then when she's eventually resurrected she just never gets back together with him. if you're gonna force her to be Spider-Man's Girlfriend again, you may as well fridge her too. just go ahead and own that miles is just as bad for her as peter was. make the taste in our mouths about this ship so bad that we can never return to it.

drop the plot. just drop it. end one book and start another with them randomly not together and just never mention it again. you do a shit job with the rest of gwen's continuity. why not this?

one more day. nuclear option. the devil himself can break that marriage up and get rid of those kids.

wait a few decades for editorial to switch out and pray that the powers that be give a shit about gwen and will let this ship die. (they won't.)

speaking of.

.... post-first live action miles morales (so... twenty years from now):

alright i've come this far let me throw out a controversial expectation: they're gonna do gwiles again. they are. they just are.

much like the petergwen vibe, gwiles is going to be an unavoidable part of spider-gwen's character moving forward. sitting in a tree was rightly hated and aggressively ignored, but then the spiderverse movies dug up that storyline and pumped life back into it.

and now it's too late. the spiderverse movies are too beloved, popular and well-reviewed for gwiles not to happen again. marvel has hard proof that this couple will make them money, win them praise and avoid controversy. (... and they also know that making gwen miles's girlfriend is an effective way to stop her from being queer and cut off her coming-out arc from ever culminating into anything, while looking progressive). an entire generation of people-- especially children-- now expect gwiles whenever they see gwen or miles (even when they aren't even in the same place or are dating different people), perceive their romance as a good thing, and expect spider-gwen to be attracted to men.

when those kids grow up, some of them will become writers for marvel. and they'll do what the current writers do and resurrect the ghosts of their favorite childhood spider-man stories (which is why Gwen Stacy Death Nostalgia keeps happening even today; that's what the powers that be grew up with, and they're writing for the kids they used to be, not the kids that exist now). which means spiderverse nostalgia. which means gwiles. even if gwiles don't get together in the spiderverse movies, they'll still do it because they'll want to 'fix' that. and all it takes is one dumbass writer to make it happen. so it'll happen.

if the worst-case scenario of gwiles in btsv, gwiles in the games, gwiles in live-action, comic-gwen never goes home, marries miles and has the comphet spawn happens, well no shit the next generation of writers are gonna keep gwilesing. it's functionally over for her and she'll never meaningfully escape.

but even if the best-case scenario pipe dream of gwen never canonically dating him in any media post-btsv, going home to earth-65, coming out and only having romantic relationships with women happens (95% sure it won't)... gwiles is going to resurface in the comics in some capacity, and will probably reappear in other spider-gwen adaptations: games, movies, tv shows, you name it. the horse is out of the barn. it is too late to stop it. we will always have to deal with this ship.

what can be changed is the context in which the ship exists. the name of the game is now putting an end to the "endgame star-crossed soulmates destined to marry and start a nuclear family" dogshit sitting in a tree and spiderverse insist on by... doing what i keep repeating:

1) let gwen come out. either say "i'm bi / into women" or show her kissing a girl. 2) have miles acknowledge gwen's queerness and support it. 3) give gwen female love interests that last in multiple mediums and adaptations to solidify her sexuality so everyone knows (especially those kids who were introduced to her through the spiderverse movies and have no idea that she's a closeted queer girl or that their romance storyline's about gwen being pressured into pretending to be straight and miles letting it happen so he can have her to himself) and marvel can't pull a kitty pryde and pretend like it never happened. 4) build up both gwen and miles' romances with other characters, so people who want to ship them have better canon options. (for gwen, these can be female or male after she's had at least one major girlfriend)

and since a significant section of the trilogy's young fandom acknowledge spiderverse gwen's trans-coding-- or even want gwen to be bi or a lesbian, despite the heavy gwiles preference of the films and lack of any positive dynamic between gwen and any female characters-- there's a good chance that once the spiderverse kids see that gwen's canonically bi, they'll run with it. we just have to get them there.

the best case scenario that can be realistically hoped for is a petergwen scenario (or a peter-and-any-girl-who-isn't-mj scenario): accepting as a given that a staple of spider-gwen's character in any future adaptations will be a probable romance with miles morales, but instead of it being a given, it's merely an option that doesn't necessarily need to exist. and if it does exist, instead of it being an endgame romance, reframe it into a temporary flirtation before they move on to other people.

to make a comparison: we need the collective mindset about gwiles to shift from kataang to makorra-- from "childhood sweethearts who never break up" to "hormonal teens who have a rocky first romance that quickly implodes, but they come out of it as friends and he supports her when she goes on to date a girl". or from 1990s joker-and-harley to 2020s joker-and-harley-- from "the female character only appears in proximity to her boyfriend and is totally defined by her romance with him" to "everyone sees the female character as an individual, knows she's queer, and understands that if she and this guy have a romance, it'll only be temporary, and sometimes he doesn't factor into her story at all."

so, a compromise. give the gwileses what they want, and then give queer gwen what she needs. the makorrafication of gwiles means everyone wins.

we can work with that. gwen and miles's respective stories are at their best when they're about embracing their marginalized identities after rejecting assimilating into the dominant culture they're being marginalized from (straightness and whiteness respectively). they need to start the story by trying to do that so their arcs are more pronounced, and their romantic arcs should reflect their overall arcs. it does actually make the most sense if miles's first major love interest is a white girl he feels pressured to tone down his blackness for, and gwen's is a straight boy she's comphetting with, because the point is they have to grow out of that.

like, as a certified decade-long Gwiles Hater, there is actually a case for gwiles as a romantic plotline, and it's that. the issue with gwiles is the way the ship's been framed. once we change the framing, and that framing is widespread and accepted, we're good. and it is going to take a long time to do. (remember, it took twenty-five years to break up harley and the joker for good. optimistically, it's gonna take that long to get gwen out of gwiles.)

gwen and miles don't necessarily need to be each other's first relationship (that role can be filled by plenty of other white girls and straight boys, and they're best as friends in entirely separate worlds), but it can work as long as it's within that context: fine, they can get together. but they must break up.

that's the way out.

but again, we just don't know what we're dealing with yet. the rollercoaster car might have derailed already and it just hasn't flown away yet. or maybe we'll make it after a couple dicey turns and a fucking agonizing loop or two. man i hate not knowing.

[mobolanz]

For the not-so-nice ask game: Betrayal, hate and alone! You may choose the OCs you want to talk about. :3

Okie dokie!:") main babydoll for this one because it's really moving my brain gears to her backstory aaaaaaaaaaa 🤧

betrayal: Has your OC ever been betrayed by someone they thought they could trust? Has your OC ever betrayed someone who trusted them?

Been betrayed: hearing the first sense of security she had telling her maybe she had it coming. Those things that probably happened between her biological family's estrangment to her foster officers' wife finding her tossed in a dark alley. After ONE thing to ask. Ever since she's outright keeping anything she has to say on a leash.Because apperently after what she did both parties instilled in her the mindset that even the bare minimum would be "too much" for her to have a nerve to ask for. That girl to them has rooted evil in her. So she should be thankful for whatever she only had yet to lose.

(then tf did those fuckers take her in for?? If they're bent on the idea that acting sympathetically for someone "cruel", makes the sympathiser cruel themselves too then what are they trying to prove even? I guess It'd be bad for their image to enstrange her themselves too. I'm SO killing them off at like the liberio attack or something. 😀(I say as if I'm not the one writing them xD. At the same breathe I mean it is questionable asf for their image if you consider the condition they gave her to stay and where they made her enroll and work because"they won't tolerate a freeloader" )

But anyway she ends up being so much better then them- finding the soon to be love of her life in a fucked up and weak position after he can no longer go back, who also believes himself to be irredeemable and terrible, treating him tenderly and not demonizing anything about him. (Man I love parallelism 🥹🥹🥹)

Oh yeah... and the catalyst to cause for her estrangment to begin with, her first "love"- she was manipulated by him into sneaking something valuable from her family , something sealed in a box at her father's room specifically.

And I suppose that in a way, it also counts the object being more important to her biological father than her enough to push her out and consider her unforgivable. To spit out that he hated her the whole time and that he's never been more disappointed. She's ended up worse to him than the sister she's meant to replace. Not that there was any genuine personal sentiment, it genuinely was a matter of materialism in his case- he values a slient artifact passed down by the family more than an actual member of said family, and his own blood. But she proved a fear he had lingered by the look in her eyes since she was born- so he's fed up with this girl leeching him dry. (Bro. She's your kid. And you've brought her to a life of extremely sheltered rich upbringing telling her one day she'll have your status. That's in one way or another on you 😭. I say again as if I'm not the one writing this qkfjakdjajfjw )

Betrayed someone: She'd hate that. But wouldn't be a softhearted who put it as a devilish and dubious act that's beyond her- because she doesn't see herself as that great at all after all. she hasn't been placed in a situation that called for it as necessity so she can't say she wouldn't have done such thing. But it only really stings on her heart if you add to the question someone she deeply cares for

It's a luck if she won't lose her composure by then and resort to smacking whoever asks her to.

Tho In a way she feels like she already did, both her first love and her dad. - claiming that the idea that her father prioritized that object over her can be said about herself too. That No matter the pretty words and promises that boy gave her if she'll give it to him (about taking her for him in the future after she spent a lifetime barely knowing much of outside , also not being completely capable to understand the consequences), she apperently "could've said no." She made the choice so she has no place pulling the blame on that boy but on her feelings for him. Prioritized empty promises to feed her greed and focus on what she wanted and doesn't have than her "loving" parent and the lifetime he gave her all in his ability to tolerate and give her chances.( a completely conditional love from someone who took her wish from the former quite too literally - want to get out? Then never come back again. ). Even if maybe he'll allow her back if he'll see how much better she's becoming and trying? he'll forgive her. She's not that stupid anymore and understands the value and weight of things for others, and values the smallest of things on her life knowing her place (like being protected even though someone like her wouldn't wake up to the next day with how weak she is by all means, especially considering where her foster parents put her therefore feeding to that idea of "be greatful for every second you even breathe" to a fault). So she won't rob anyone from their precious again.

No that's a delusion. An arrogant one too of someone that thinks too highly of themselves getting too comfortable far away and thinks they'll have it easy and get rewarded. (Oh gosh parallels fuckkkkkk)

Man where's that "obsessed with those hour long analysis vids on why this character is a Terrible person and it's a teenage girl' post because that'd be a summary-

Sheesh I wrote a whole ass meta here 🤧🤧🤧

hate: What does your OC hate? Why? How do they act towards the object of their hatred?

Okie copy-pasting from previous similar asks I had since it's pretty much the same

I used to say it isn’t as much as dislike as it is either mild irritation or intimidation in case of her superiors… but a close pick would surpsingly be her “foster parents”, haven't picked name for the male officer cuz I planned his existence like... only this week but the woman is named juliet . The resentment is there even if she lies to herself it isn't . Like yes girl reminds herself on daily basis they're the reason she wasn’t tossed longer to die in some dark alley and there are points to the things she said especially in the early days taking evy in about Evelyn’s overly sheltered outlook on the world but

More than once she came to figure both if them, especially juliet -is a mad hypocrite, calling her naïve girl yet turning out quite prejudiced herself, first known instance being her asking evy to come with her for a certain task , and in a tone the girl couldn’t tell was cynical or genuine saying “to see some monsters” (actually even mocking) . One time even muttering under her breathe “if I’m stupid for my lackings back then, what does that make you…?”. Then it’s slowly began with her struggling to surpress a groan of annoyance whenever this lady opens her mouth. They have that inevitable rift as soon as Evelyn’s eyes open to her situation, that maybe she’s not under any better influence after all, and quite ironically the very source indirectly tells her that

Still when it comes to handling it she’s very alert, because who knows what THEY would use against her considering their power position. And since she’s tending to be very aware and understanding of her surroundings, even if being dragged to anger she ensures to at best have immense restraint with it, reminding herself that lashing out would do no good and just stay silent until it passes. Even if she’s visibly shivering. It's a survival instinct in a sense too. To a core of even being angry with herself to being “so easily” driven to that. Should she almost snap, she’d hold it in her throat and pause for a few good seconds, lowering her gaze. One example of why though would be open narrow-mindedness and lack of care for a full context of thingd and outright nasty attitude. With that in mind she keeps herself in check because… maybe the other person has their reasons to act like that? That said both of them display it a lot. It angers her when they talk like that about anyone else... but what about herself?

alone: How does your OC deal with loneliness? Have they ever been completely alone before? How do they act when there's no one around to see them?

She's normalizing it. She already sees anything and anyone she has in life as what she could eventually lose deservingly so in karma if taking for granted- meaning she needs to actually appreciate whatever time she has with them and earn having them around at all, and who is she to argue when it's beyond her control? Because then it'd be her CHOOSING to get upset over what isn't even her bussiness. Because more on the instilled mindsest, "woops you can't always have what you want, accept it :)" meaning it's also nervesome of her to ask more - not being left behind included. Apperently she needs to be taught a lesson except never actually giving her a room to learn anything because she’s just acting out with fear that it’s gonna haunt her because it does, she should dwell on it for the rest of the life that’s probably not gonna be long anyway if she's not relying on anyone and by herself. (But isn't that the same for many people?).

(not to mention especially reiny being on limited time to live due to something he ended up being signed for years before knowing her. 😭)

She indeed have been in a way one or another- isolated upbringing, to being tossed outside out of nowhere exposed to dangers she never heard of, to be taken by people who don't genuinely care for her safety and well being but use her presence for their image, so she can't exactly count on them to really be there for her in case she wants to turn to anyone. They instilled that harmful mindset in her after all, so they won't be there to ease on her once she loses anyone- they'd reply with "life goes on." At best. Probably without even facing her. In complete disinterest like "oh that again? you really learned nothing. "

Then again no matter what that doesn't stop her from crying her eyes and heart out as soon as she's alone at night and thinking about it. And the way it's inevitable, been decided before she could even understand what it's gonna cause her and the surrounding.

Deep psychoanalysis dive onto Evelyn Marianne Auroré D:

Oc asks: not so nice edition

[queer0fhearts]

When you forget your ex best friends bday & get flooded with photos from her friends we share on all social media.. I guess.. I miss my friends 😞 what is wrong with me? Am I just that terrible? Maybe.. I'm just gonna cry over people leaving me like I usually fucking do... There's honestly nothing else to do besides trying to work on myself... I feel like all I do is back step when I think about these things. My other ex best friend's bday is the 7th... So it just doesn't help. They don't want me anywhere near them.

I wish I could just fix myself... I've overcome a lot of drug & alcohol abuse & no one even knows? Ironically, my family thinks the opposite 😅 I don't even use half of my anxiety & sleep meds I'm prescribed. Just weed that doesn't change but so much. Anyway... I don't know how to find value in my life when I feel like I'm going to lose everyone close to me. I wish I was a better person, a better friend & didn't burden others. I don't know how to get over this... People can try to relate & explain how people dift or change ...no, I was ousted. Out of nowhere ousted in both situations. B, my recent best friend that has been my best friend for over 10 years, just dropped me. Ghosted, then unfriended me.. her fam is still on my page.. talked to her mom but idk maybe it'll just take time since she's dealing with herself.. but she picked her other best friend that hated me. I didn't care? So go ahead, ig... I did do something wrong in that friendship... But again, was good before getting ghosted. How do I love anything about myself when people who are just my friends that seem to relate to me so much, just leaves me? I'd say that's why, but it isn't... I'm just a blob of pain & sad that leeches on others bc I can't help myself.

[rainbowspinch]

I have a quotes page that me and my partner have been trying to keep up with for the past 5 years. Here are some ones that I love

“The girl mosquitoes are just blood sucking leeches, like look around the room it’s like real life”

“I would ride all over their graves”

“The core is....oh that’s a lot of hot”

“Just because the computers are as fast as I am, they think they rule the world. They DON’T.”

“If ankles are the price I must pay to convince everyone I’m not cheating on my boyfriend, then so be it”

“Stop twisting my words before I start twisting your neck”

“T: that shit was like my cocaine

LY: cocaine is my cocaine”

“If you expect me to stop being stupid, you need to lower your expectations”

“If the school is gonna take such shit photos for the smart riders, they should atleast get a better camera so it’s shit but in good quality”

“The whole world was ruled by jellyfish”

“Did you know that there’s still dinosaurs around? Like cassowaries”

“When you say that orange is the best zooper dooper you’ve entered the argument area”

“Usually people like you, who get bullied, grab a knife and go around stabbing people”

“I don’t wanna die from a NUT, that’s just pathetic”

“My shoes look like a fucking bionicle”

“Why are you wearing a speedo, what is WRONG WITH YOU”

“I will swivel chair into your head, move bitch”

“Due to technical reasons I have ADHD I think”

“It’s because I’m Italian. OUI OUI!!”

“We have to run to both the base lines?? Go kill yourself!! Consider MY feelings!”

“I think being autistic and having a nut allergy is a great combination”

“Get out or I’m gonna COVID kick your ass”

“How do you even survive my presence? My virtual presence. Social distancing.”

“Thank you ma'am, you are my favorite person, much homo *insert gay flag that android doesn't have*”

The meat man is coming in the morning”

“NO GAYS ALLOWED ON THE GOLF COURSE”

“There’s a spider on me, i should kill myself”

“His 5 hearts have been shot”

“Sprout some fucking legs”

“The year is...the year is 2”

“Haha, you thought you knew what I would do, but alas, I am unpredictable”

“Get your fingers out of the mud, boy”

“Stop fondling the worms”

“It’s fucking Shaggy, do you know what he’s capable of?!”

“Why do I have mind dreams from another timeline”

“The unborn babies news report”

“I’m feeling served hot and fresh”

“They’ve been through a lot, these ankles of mine”

“L: I feel like a sub species of human

LY: You are, you’re- *hand gesture* you’re really down there’”

“You walk into his house and the jazz stops”

“I found my father by the way. Just a heads up”

“I trust Jesus to look after my hot wheels”

“It meant he hadn’t been crunchin’-a-munching on my lip balm”

“Oh there’s a spider. Come closer :]”

“The 2 second rule in driving is how much time you have to eat your car after you drop it”

“Longing to reality shift to kiss some boys”

“The secret ingredient is cheating”

“You can date on Tumblr I just can’t guarantee it’ll go well”

“A: you’re an accomplice!

LY: Grease lightning-“

“I’ve got a tongue twister for you. FUCK”

“If the shoe fits? If the shoe fits up your ASS”

“You move like a transition slide”

“S: Jesus can FUCK off

H: Jesus has fucked off twice already, Sarah”

“My concept of linear time is not very linear”

“Hold on I’m sending a man to court”

“I promise, but only until I change my mind”

“Being attracted to me is healthy”

“Mood. Not that I’ve been hit by a car, but I do eat cucumbers”

“2 blonde bitches fighting for the throne and she’s not even a real blonde”

“You have so many issues and they’re all unresolved”

“I am my own target audience, and that audience has been met”

“I swear on my nana”

“I started drawing and suddenly I was Christian”

“Get these blonde molecules out of me”

“Lucy, your camera roll is filled with yourself, what do you mean Shame?”

“The Dreamscape is leaking into reality and it’s making me an asshole!”

“Terrible news, the statues are in a dick out mood”

“Toes out to that bro. Cheers” -Spinch on this day (Saturday, 14th May 3:17pm)

“You put your whole tiddies into saying something nice”

“Cry me a goldfish”

“You have skin boy! Are you excited?”

“If you ever touch his spider polycule, he’ll bite you”

Money not well spent, so I have to keep it there as a reminder”

“White walls purple bed kind of bitch”

“Breaking someone’s legs is not very kawaii schoolgirl of her”

“Are you thinking with your brain ma’am? Or are you thinking with your feet?”

“All the left handed people will be turned into grain”

“My autism tried to give me a new gender and I had to talk myself out of it”

“Get these blonde molecules IN me”

“Caution I am choosing”

“And I take off my wig. And I take off my wig. And I take of my wig. And I take of my bald cap. And I take off my bald cap. And I take off my wig. And I’m bald”

“Don’t headcanon my parents as transgender”

“You must have talent to be able to draw this bad”

“I liked it so much that my reaction was to tell you I don’t like it”

“You pick him up by the lungs a lot”

“I wouldn’t trust you with a fetus”

“Do you have parents? Not on purpose”

“She’s timeless, she’s stagnant”

“You get your autism backpack and you can fill it with acronyms”

“LY: I hate the continental drift

L: Like the dance?’

LY: LIKE THE PLANET SPLITTING APART, PANGEA”

“I feel splinched”

“I think he’s been crying, he looks freshly born”

“He looks like what the conservatives are protecting”

“LY: I’m very tan today

L: you’re tan every day

LY: yeah it’s like it’s my skin colour or something!”

[themagicmusicman]

quick context: character im doing is shå; she is the girlfriend of angu, one of the main characters in neim’s worldbuilding project, kunirn. shå uses she/her, angu uses she/ her, kik (angu’s close friend/basically brother at this point lmao) uses he/xey 👍

1. i reckon she’s usually too busy beating people up to have other hobbies but like. does cooking count as crafting? she crafts. food lmao

2. this bitch might be trans but she wears the manliest man cologne lmfao like. whatever the kunirn equivalent of something tobacco, sandalwood and orange would smell like. man shite /fem

3. fuck yeah!!! that’s basically the main thing she does besides being gay and fighting people

4. mmmm not really, unless her and angu are baking together for the sillies (kik sometimes joins in too)

5. yeah!! she has the Ǎtrothang mark on her right shoulder (shown at the bottom of the post) as well as loads of others hjehekr

6. probably kik (angu’s friend n basically non blood brother) bcs xey seem like they would work the best under pressure and know first aid. all that shit yknow [update. neim told me that kik is canonically good at patching people up so i was right!]

7. bitch isnt scared of anything except her parents, and thats fairly normal i think. guys thats normal. right. ri-

8. yeah she probably has the weirdest collections of shit. stuff like bones, eyeballs, that kinda thing

9. she usually tries to just wait it out and continue whatever she’s doing, but when it gets so bad she can’t, she just leeches to angu until it goes away

10. not standing up to her parents’ bullshit :[

11. ehhhh probably not anything. canon but she seems like the kind of person who would

12. oh yeah shå has amazing style /gen this bitch dresses like the most butch lesbian. also she’s just hot lmao (evidence at tje bottom)

13. not in the slightest lmao

14. absolutely. it took her close to a year to open up to angu about her parent bs so. yeah just a bit

15. she’s just a silly lil guy. the sillies! silly and tiny and definitely doesnt have a really dark/horny sense of humour!

16. nope and nope :D

17. basically never. she stands by what she believes at doesnt bend for anyone

18. easier to become her enemy than her friend :3

19. you have to be pretty awesome she has trust issues lmao

20. meh not really seeing as her life in Ǎtrothang was. pretty traumatising

21. friends. friends for sure

22. never

23. n/a shes immortal /j (in other words doesnt think about dying ever)

24. most people are her enemies :3👍

25. uh morning routine, wake up and get on with the day. evening routine, go to bed and toss n turn until she eventually falls asleep

26. she’s her own hero (aka has no heroes (except maybe kik or angu but thats just her being gay lmao))

27. i mean. her meeting angu was pretty much a chance encounter and that changed her life drastically so!

28. # idontthinkgamingexistslmao

29. i’d want to be but she would scare me 😔

30. she doesn’t want to be famous. the less people who know her, the better

31. i would probably give her some sort of silly telepathic powers, she’d want invisibility

32. being afab (she doesnt mind the dick but she occasionally gets dysphoria thinking that she’s a Fake Woman because she has not biological booba (she is the most womanly woman i know))

33. oh yeah. i think angu, shå and kik would play silly ttrpgs the same way i play dnd with neim and my irl mates

34. terribly. she hides it well, but inside she’s struggling :[[[

35. in charge of her own destiny. fuck the dead gods she’s deciding her fate

36. yes and uh. for legal reasons no /hj

37. she doesn’t really like the gods, n chooses to just kinda. do her own thing lmao (same as angu but less Loud About It /lh)

38. she doesn’t dream (me core)

39. definitely!!! that sounds fun as shit!

40. she would be able to pull it out first try because shes a big strong jerboa. speaking of pulling ou-

41. she hates making mistakes so doesn’t learn from them as much as. promise herself not to make the same mistake again

42. yeh! she speaks mainly speaks rurleki (surprisingly. the language of rurlek) but also speaks atro from living in atrothang

43. fairly well, except mentally. afterwards she’ll freak out but she’s usually fine in the moment

44. only angu, not even kik i dont think

45. wing it gdejdbksbdkf

46. for sure, she probably lies quite a lot lmao

47. she would for quite a few people, ofc including angu and kik

48. in a heartbeat. revenge quest time babyyy!

49. nah she knows the difference. big difference (this is a threat 👍)

50. shes a trans lesbian jerboa!!!!! what is there to not love!!!!!!!!!

@neim-batteries-not-included haiiiiii :3

You've Got Questions and I've Got Answers OC Edition

Do they have any crafting hobbies?

Do they wear perfume/cologne? If so what scents do they prefer?

Do they enjoy cooking?

Do they enjoy baking?

Do they have any tattoos? If so what are they and do they have any special meaning?

If they were badly injured, and for whatever reason couldn't go to a hospital, who would they go to for help?

Do they have any unusual fears?

Do they collect anything? If so what and why?

When they're sick what do they do to feel better?

Do they have any regrets?

Do they have any addictions?

Do they have any sense of style? Regardless of the answer do they believe they have a sense of style?

Do they enjoy poetry?

Do they have a hard time opening up to people?

What kind of sense of humor do they have? Or do they have one at all?

Do they have or want kids?

How easily would they be convinced to do something that goes against their morals?

How easy is it to become their enemy?

How easy is it to become their friend?

Do they have a strong connection to their culture?

What is more important to them, friends or family?

Would they ever betray someone for money?

How would they want to die?

Do they have any enemies?

Do they have a daily/nightly routine?

Have they met any of their heroes? Did they regret it?

Has a chance encounter ever had an unexpected effect on them?

Are they a #gamer?

If they were real would you be friends with them?

If they had the chance to be famous would they take it? If they are famous would they rather they weren't?

What superpower would you choose for them and what would they choose for themselves? If they have one would they choose something else?

If they could change one thing about themselves what would it be?

Do they play ttrpgs? If so what kind of characters do they play? Or are they more likely to GM?

How well do they deal with grief?

Do they believe in fate or do they believe they are in charge of their own destiny?

Would they ever kill someone? Have they already?

Are they religious? If so do they have a strong sense of faith, are they uncertain, or are they somewhere in between?

What are their dreams like? Do they have any recurring dreams/nightmares?

Would they ever crash a wedding?

If they found a sword in a stone would they try to pull it out? How would they react to being able to pull it out or not?

Do they learn from their mistakes?

Can they speak multiple languages? If yes which all do they speak and why?

Can they handle stressful situations?

Who, if anyone, would they trust with their deepest secrets?

Do they plan in advance or just wing it?

Would they lie to get out of trouble?

Would they lie to get someone else out of trouble? Even if they would have to take that someone else's place?

How likely are they to go on a quest for revenge?

Do they have trouble keeping their enemies and their friends straight?

What is your favorite thing about them?

I love these so I figured I'd make one of my own! Just be sure that if you reblog this ask one or two of these to the person you reblogged from (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧

[thenonbinarydetective]

why do you dislike Tom Taylor's nightwing run? Dick basically has everything he wants in his life in that

It lacks substance, it’s completely boring with horrible pacing and has no idea what it’s doing. It lacks direction. It’s a feel good fanfic that is fluff without an inch of personality. That ending was total crap. Tom is very clearly the kind of writer who wants attention and to “make a mark” without putting in enough effort. He wants screenshots on Twitter as accolades without thinking of how he lets in ableist and racist ideas seep into his “look at me I’m progressive” centrist attitude.

He turns tumblr fanon and twitter “hot takes” into characterizations, which means his characters are literally nothing. I mean oh my god his Batman is terrible. He literally did the billionaires don’t do shit to the billionaire who does a lot of shit. And his criticism of Clark’s Superman…it’s actually a stolen tweet. Like not even joking word for word he has stolen tweets. And for fucks sake if that man could stop with the secret family plot lines and changing backstories. We all know it’s going to go away because he adds nothing. I don’t even hate her but I can’t wait until that useless sister of dick’s dies. She never even needed to be his sister. Nothing would change but several lines of dialogue. Again no effort. A “big change” that’s fully useless.

His characterization of Barbara is like a self insert for girls who want to fuck dick Grayson. Maybe even men/enbys if they’re willing to pretend. She’s absolutely nothing but a dependent leech instead of the amazing character she’s supposed to be.

Getting everything he wants isn’t the mark of a good story. In this case it’s one of the reasons it’s bad. Tom Taylor is fine when he actually tries without looking for attention One Bad Day Ra’s is his best work, he writes like he actually tried without thinking about being the best Ra’s writer. His work is shallow and his Nightwing run is the best example of that.

He should’ve stuck with kids shows. Or just do bland slice of life shit. That honestly would work out better for him

[abcdosaka]

i finished adwd. i also read the preview chapters for twow.

why did jon have to die right when i started liking his character :/ i’m sure he’ll be back bc i’ve already been spoiled for this and like everyone says he’s gonna warg back to life. him stannis and tyrion are the ceos of having terrible pr. like what he was doing was not wrong at all but he’s just not good at dealing with people. to be fair the odds are stacked against him but telling everyone IN A SPEECH he’s gonna ride to winterfell was the same level of stupidity as ned in kings landing. i do want him to clear his name though. at least unlike ned he was doing what is best for the people. whereas ned…he really didn’t need to be doing all that for…robert? his sense of duty? what was the reason?

anyway daenerys has become one of my favourites i never really cared for her pov that much in the previous books except maybe agot but she becomes such a strong person in adwd. i like how her storyline parallels jon a lot like they’re both attempting to lead the best they can in a compassionate way and making a lot of mistakes bc they’re so young and then they both “die” at the end. tbh im really hoping she can get away from khal jhaqo but i did see that mago will become an important character in the next book so i doubt it. maybe she’ll take over their khalasar that would be kind of slay. the one thing i don’t want her to do is join up with victarion or euron like euron for obvious reasons but victarion needs to die too. he’s a leech that thinks he’s a king. I have somewhat changed my mind about some of the Greyjoy pov characters like all that didn’t need to happen to aeron or Theon or Asha who has grown on me a lot. but like also this is the culmination of their culture, could they expect any better? Aeron is still yapping abt the old way like dude euron is the old way. The ultimate form of the old way. and ngl quentyn is kind of an idiot. Dumber than Jon, dumber than Ned, almost as dumb as Theon but at least Theon has the excuse of he was kinda screwed no matter what he just happened to choose the most painful option. Tbh I was kinda hoping he could do it it’s a little disappointing but rip in peace. Quentyns moron friends pissed me off though never talk shit about the queen. What kind of dumbass name is Drinkwater girl fuck you

also i was talking shit abt cersei last book but i hated the walk of shame. it was nasty. very very nasty thing to do to someone. seeing her conversation with kevan in the epilogue made me sad. cersei shouldn’t be like that she should be an evil paranoid bitch that’s who she is 😢 they took away her fire. i’m sure she’s just biding her time though. Nonetheless Cersei character development is 🫶🏽

also i’m not gonna lie i hope the jon connington/aegon stuff gets shut down quickly i don’t care for them and they’re getting in the way of daenerys future rule. they were introduced too late like who do they even think they are. Basically Victorian 2.0 I liked aegon better when he was a dead baby. tbh i’m actually hoping the people of Westeros form a democracy or something but baby steps. then again all this death needs to be worth something like the system has to change by the end. i’m kind of hoping all the female pov characters inherit the world but daenerys on top of course.

[artificialwinter]

I'm starting this blog in hopes that I continue to write about my sentiments, instead of bottling it up or forcing it down other’s throats. I'm beginning to realize that no one really likes to listen to me, so I might as well write it so my brain can feel less pressure.

I’m not sure if it's my voice that’s irritating to listen to - or if it's my inability to articulate my emotions into cohesive words. Maybe it’s just my personality, maybe my individuality complex is so strong I can’t fathom another person truly understanding what I feel. But I think people are getting sick of me.

I keep thinking back to the way their eyes flicker to their left whenever I start to gaze into nothingness, knowing what is to come. My mind is constantly running, my speech a desperate outlet, but even if it helps me, it’s a pain to everyone else. I’m not sure why I can’t form healthy coping mechanisms, why I must backload everything onto another person. I don’t think I struggle as much as other people, frankly, I’m really fucking spoiled and I really hate myself for accepting the gifts and my inability to hide how much I really like spending money. Everything I do or like causes me to leech off of others- requires me to- and I wish that I was a simple, humble, girl who loved experiences. But I can’t. I fucking hate experiences. I hate listening to other people talk. I want to talk and talk but I don’t want to listen. I don’t want to be with others, but I don’t want to be alone. I don’t want to eat, but eating is the only way I can both concern others and ease their worries. I don’t know when I turned to food, why I did, and why I truly can’t turn to other things.

I keep trying to play Animal Crossing, return to drawing, go back to old TV shows; I hate it all. I keep trying to be the “old me” that was more likable. I think she was annoying, too aggressive, too ignorant, but people liked her more. Her voice was more a nuisance to listen to, but some how it’s better than my voice now. I continue to apologize to others when I’m not actually sorry, but I feel bad. I feel bad for being a bother to others even if I know they were more harmful, I feel bad for talking about how disconnected I feel from ‘Janet’ even if I know it helps, I feel fucking terrible for everything and I don’t know why. I keep apologizing thinking I can make things better, but it’s all a front, I just keep faking everything. A part of me thinks it has always been this way, but I don’t know why I only noticed it now. Was it destiny? Was it fate?

If me finding out now was in the plans of a higher being, I wonder if they cared for me. Did they think about me being on summer break? Did they think about me having to soon not be attached at the hip to the only people I think I can truly care about because of college? Is this a lesson? Is it possible for me, whoever I am, to care for others?

I think I did care for others at one point in my life, but now I continue to ponder if people cared about me. Outside of the higher being that protects me, that envelops me in its arms, whose warmth I feel on my back as I type, I don’t know if someone can. I don’t know I’m worth caring for. Did people notice when I would respond to them like I was listening when I wasn’t? Did they notice that whenever I attempted to comfort them, I went back to my other tasks like I didn’t care? But that wasn’t always me. I could lie and pretend I’m some sociopath, but as I gave advice, my chest would burn and tears would poke my bottom eyelashes. I don’t think I’m a bad person, is that narcissistic? Is it wrong of me to think that I deserve more? Do they think that I deserve more? #### and ######### didn’t, I think. When I would text, I’d get ignored or they’d respond with little energy. When I told them how I felt, they did it again. Did I bring that upon myself? Did #### only text with a worried tone because she too, is afraid of being alone?

I think I welcome the loneliness I feel right now, because I am listening to myself. I am aware that my mind and body need an outlet, and I constantly seek outlets. If no one cares about me, I can care about me. I want to continue writing but I limit myself to futile attempts at being poetic. Even when I try to allow myself to be vulnerable, I continue to think about how something could benefit me. Is that selfish?

[lovelytayforce]

I agree with this comment here so hard, I remember getting blasted for calling readers who don't comment "leeches" on R/Fanfiction and I'm glad people are seeing that for what it is even if it's four years late

So, I'm gonna share my own little story here because discord has actively ruined communities for fanfic (and art too I'm not gonna leave y'all out cause my bestie @zoetiger-1106 is an artist who deserves way more praise than she gets!!) The reason why authors and myself see the "I'm shy" shit as an excuse is because the same people will type long ass tirades on Discord without a single thought. YOU CAN EDIT AO3 COMMENTS PEOPLE! If you make a mistake, read it back over and edit it. I've watched it happen in real-time with one of my favorite commenters on my one-shot where they left a short gushing comment and then came back and wrote more, you have no excuse much less reason to go "Man fandom keeps telling me to not critique and I might make a mistake so I will say nothing and consume like the average TV and Streaming consumer who thinks there doing something!" YOU have a lot of power with comments and even those bookmark tags hell just copy-paste what you put into those bookmark tags as a comment I DON'T CARE AT THIS POINT USE THAT LIL BOX TO VOICE SOMETHING!!!! God this is all over the place idc but I read back at those bookmarks, and saw people call my works the best and super cool and I APPRECIATE THAT but tell me! Stop taking the easy route, I been blasted for misunderstandings over comments multiple times cause people take my "tone" terribly cause it sucks being black and emotive online yay and for some reason people think !!!! Is bad? yes, I've been hit with that but I keep on trucking cause fuck whatever some weirdo thinks about exclamation points! Anyways back to discord and why I hate it now, I was in a small fandom, KFP got invited to a discord cause ONE person commented on my works and saw they talked about my fic, and at first, I was happy and people TALKED about my chapters at length in the fanfic channel. I basically was the ONLY ONE posting consistently in that channel and it was great but also I wanted that on my fic to show I improved so guess what I did? I went all in trying to one-up myself to be noticed, to have the acclaim my peers did so it would evolve outside of discord channels but it never happened. And Imma tell y'all now; it never will. Readers prefer convenience over your hard work, they are not gonna take time for you no matter how much you improve. People told me over and over while I looked for solutions for this; "We can't make commenting look like an obligation." "Add more prose, space these paragraphs better" all this just for no one to take the initiative and say something SINCERE towards a work they love on it. I've had to tell my own ex-friends now to go leave comments on works they called Masterpieces while ignoring me. Despite the fact they wanted Gen content in which I WROTE. Or met people who have very weird "I don't review" rules for themselves despite getting motivated by reviews themselves!! We're in a shitty time for creatives much less community cause we don't see each other as humans much less want to treat each others as we desire to be treated. Fanfic readers want to treat authors like showrunners and I hate it. But then your peers will tell you 'not to worry about engagement" and no I am because why is my hit count going up every day but ain't no one saying shit? Make it make sense!! I sat in that community commenting as much as I could, especially on long fics; it wasn't all perfect but I TRIED. I didn't expect shit back but hey it would have been nice but it never happened and again I learned; it never would. That's the real issue, no one wants to give no more; just take and take and take til you're sucked dry of passion worse than any corpo out right now. It's why I thankfully switched fandoms. I got ONE consistent commenter and they are better than that ENTIRE SMALL CLOSED COMMUNITY!! So, to any discord reactor for fanfic you better skip on to that message you made and copy and paste it in this box right here and never utter "I'm shy" ever again cause we see you, our friends tell us about you. You are not as anonymous as you think! 🫵🏽

A writer friend told me something that broke my heart a little bit today; they're going to quit publishing their fanfic.

My instant thought was that they had been trolled or attacked or that something terrible had happened in their life because this person is so passionate about their writing. It wasn't any of that. Engagement with their works has been going down, as it has for many of us. Comments are like gold dust a lot of the time, and just looking through the historical comment counts on old fics on ao3 demonstrates this trend very clearly. It was not simply the comments dropping off which caused them to decide to stop posting, however.

My friend came across a discord server for their fandom (I should point out here that their fandom interest and mine diverged a couple of years ago, we stay in touch but don't currently read each other's posts because I'm not into their fandom and they would rather gouge their eyes out with a wooden spoon than read anything Star Wars) and specifically to share fic in that fandom. They joined, because we all love a good fic rec, only to discover that their latest multichapter fic, which has almost no comments and very few kudos, is being hotly discussed in this server as one of the best stories ever. Not one of these people has bothered to say this to them on the fic. When they asked, none of participants could see the point in telling the author of the fic they apparently loved so much that they love it.

This discovery has absolutely destroyed my friend's love of sharing fic. They share because they love seeing other people's enjoyment, and fic writers do that through comments and kudos/reblogs/likes because we don't get paid. There is no literary critic writing a blog post/article about how amazing the story is for us to copy and keep/frame. There is no money from royalties. All we have are the words of the people reading our works.

Those people on that server could have taken five minutes of the time they spent gushing about how amazing my friend's story was to other people and used it to tell the one person guaranteed to want to hear that praise how much they loved it. They could have taken a moment to express their opinion to the person who spent hours upon hours plotting, writing, editing, and posting those chapters. Instead, they deprived my friend of thing that keeps them sharing their writing, and in the process have killed their love of it. My friend now feels used and unmotivated.

I won't be sharing a link to their fic, they said I could share their experience but not their identity. I know they plan to post one final chapter. I know they intend to express their hurt at being excluded from the praise for the thing they created, and I know they intend to announce that as a consequence they will not be posting for a long while, if at all.

So please, I beg you, don't hide your love of a story from the writer. It's just about the only thing we have.

[princeof-flowers]

Nadine's role is interesting to me as I take a step back and fucking. Analyze my own fucking character that I wrote my damn self and am now sitting and thinking about as a character and not just as someone fitting into an overarching story.

Like...he's ultimately a caregiver, the role often given to women or female characters. He does emotional labor, he's there ultimately to support others and ensure they don't fall apart.

He's incredibly tender, loving, and gentle, but due to his overall appearance, this blurs the line between maternal and paternal. Because he's ultimately very maternal in how he dotes on others; he sings lullabies and holds them, pets their hair.

But he's just so masculine-presenting that it reads as a particularly loving father.

And yet, his role in battles is a tank. He takes up a more traditionally masculine role in fights, and he seems to enjoy it. He really seems more to people as an ideal masculine figure, combining both the more active protector role, and the tenderness involved in non-toxic masculinity.

In contrast, Evie, though very much a woman in both how she identifies and how she appears and even in her perceived role as Support in battle.

Yet her bedside sucks, she's honestly just going through the motions and doesn't particularly care about the emotional well-being of anyone. She seems more like the woman forced to take on "womanly roles" as a healer.

But I guarantee you that people would call her a girlboss while simultaneously bitching that it's sexist that she's a healer which they'd be right.

Because Evie's role in battle was something forced on her due to systemic sexism. And her bitterness over this forced role has leeched into her actions and personality. She is extremely bitter about it.

Evie never wanted to be support, but because there was already a MALE magic expert, she isn't really allowed to be out here exploding ppl and overall being a menace.

She's also not one to provide emotional labor, and this isn't due to her being unable to read when it's needed. She just does not want to. She will if she genuinely cares about you but that's rare for her.

And even in those rare instances, she can't really be counted on. Nadine is wholly correct in his assumptions that Evie would not be at his side were he to fall apart in any way. She WOULD inevitably abandon him despite everything he's done for her.

Which is selfish and cruel, yes, but not done because she's an ultimately terrible person. She simply is not equipped to handling that, and she can't really cognitively accept the idea of Nadine ever needing her help.

Because a Nadine that needs help doesn't exist in her mind.

In contrast, with her other 1sts, she can definitely see them breaking, and would try to help and support them. Because to her, that's feasible. They are mortal men who can break and have been vulnerable in the past.

Nadine has never, which again loops back to his role.

But that makes me wonder: is Nadine breaking unacceptable because he's a woman, or because he perceived as a man?

The point of Nadine as a character in terms of role and how that relates to gender tho is to show that gender roles are bullshit, and the truth of thr matter is that no human being should ever be seen as wholly incapable of breaking apart. No human should ever have all these pressures on them with no outlet, because it will cause them to crumble.

Just like how Evie shouldn't be forced into roles she's honestly not willing to take nor ultimately suited to simply on a gender bias. Also what the fuck is she doing here she's the least traumatized of all these fuckers she literally cannot match their freak.

[thingsdontgetbetter]

basically for spencer, my flame, lottie if she ever thinks of going through my tumblr, and charlie, if he ever has the chance of finding my old tumblr to look at this, part 1/x

i scheduled this a week after to make sure if i actually did succeed in kmsing then this would be for you all, and if i didnt i could delete this in time before anyone would have to see this ever. right now it is 1:43am 6/16/24, i have spent all day being exhausted and barely being able to pack up stuff to be easier for whoever finds me to get to the right people i cared about. i still have cleaning my bathroom, taking out the trash, and putting together the computer im typing this on to be put in charlies stuff to be sent to him, along with taping everyones addresses to their boxes/bags.

not to be writing this out like im santa but i just wanna make sure theyre getting to the right people! if they didnt get to you then the aprtment/eviction people did something weird with them, idk if theres any legal requirement for them to go to where i asked them to go, but know that i had this all in mind for all of you.

spencer: i had like. 6 quadrillion things i thought youd might like, from all my plushies to some masc clothing, idk if you can even wear a lot of it, but i thought youd like it. i threw in basically every hat and comfy hoodie i had, along with some hair stuff, because i thought maybe youd smell it and think of me. i tried really hard to think about if you were gone what i would want of you. most if not all my post im making in the idea that youll see it and theres just so much i wanted to say without tipping off that i was shooting myself later, and i wanna come back to that, but i want this part to be like what i sent to u all.

lottie: pretty much all my womens clothes and make up, i honestly started yours like 12 hours ago i forgot so much of whats in there. your containers dont close all the way which is super annoying….. im gonna try to tape it closed? idk theyre fucked up containers but nowhere is open at this time for me to get something different, i already had it, and ideally you get it! theres perfume, some shoes i hope you can wear, if none of this you cann wear i hope you know someone who would want to wear them. theres also two board games.

charlie: im starting off by saying i have been the worst to you. by far. and im so sorry. a lot of what im doing tonight comes in the thought that i feel like i dont have it in me to do anything for myself or anyone else, just being this black hole where people are forced to put up with me, and even more than youve done it economically this last year, youve had to do it for 10 years now. more than anyone. you deserve someone way better than me as a friend, and i cannot be just a burden or a toxic person to you, or to anyone else, yet i also dont have the strength to provide for myself either. im a leech and a bum, just a scummy girl in general, and i dont wanna be that anymore. thank you for everything, and im so sorry for hurting you in this way, the capstone of me being terrible to you in an attempt to not be a worse person to you or anyone else in the future. i sent you my computer and some other electronics ideally so you could have something to go through to think of me if you wanted to, or to sell it to get your money back that youve lent me that realistically i dont think i could ever have it in me to get back to you in actual cash, because i cannot live and provide for myself.

tumblr has a character limit so im posting this as a 1/x