#she fully just laughed in my face for thinking twister of love was specific to the phan dragon

[aimeeblake]

OPERATION LIFE RAFT→ BEAUMEE

TAGGING → Aimee Blake & Beau Odie ( @beauodie )

TIMELINE → November 28, 2020

SETTING → Aimee and DJ’s apartment

SUMMARY → Aimee invites Beau over to Crownflix and Chill, and chilling ensues.

Thanskgiving had been strange, to the point that Beau was kind of relieved when he got to go home. It felt like breaks from school from now on were just meant to be assosciated with feeling ignored, and he didn't ask for much, he didn't think. Just acknowledgement. That's why when Aimee texted him asking him to hang out when break was over, it hadn't even taken two seconds to text back a big yes. Someone actually making time for him, especially someone as fun as Aimee, was impossible to resist. With a quick stop by a grocery store for some ice cream, he hurried over to her dorm that afternoon. She'd mentioned something about a Christmas movie or a board game or something and honestly, the specifics of it didn't matter to him so he hasnt asked for elaboration. Quality time, no matter what they were doing, was more than enough. He knocked on the door and waited for it to open, waving the ice cream at her like it was his hand as soon as it did. "Hey," Beau greeted, doing a quick sweep of the room to see if her roomie was there. "Thanks for inviting me. Is DJ going to be here or is it just us for now?"

Aimee was really starting to have second thoughts as she waited for Beau to come over. She didn't know anything about actually trying to seduce a boy! Sure, she'd read about it over and over again in all her favorite books but she couldn't even get the boy that she knew wanted her in that way to so much as kiss her! Straight up trying to hook up with a guy that had really only just called her "hot" was in a different universe of impossibly hard! Aimee was just about to bitch out on her plan and change out of her red booty shorts and "ho ho ho" hoodie in favor of less suggestive hang out clothes when there was a knock on the door signaling that it was too late to back out now. "Sup! Thanks for coming!" She cheerfully replied, backing up to let him in the door and figure out what flavor ice cream he'd been waving at her at the same time. " It's just us, I don't think DJ's supposed to be back for awhile.

"Alright, sounds good," Beau smiled, not quite sure what to do with the chocolate ice cream he'd brought so he awkwardly handed it to Aimee. "Since my Grandmama says I'm not allowed to go anywhere without bringing a gift, this is for you. So, uh, what are we doing exactly?" he asked, taking off his coat and just holding it. He liked Aimee and really wanted to hang out with her but he felt like he was doing this all wrong already. He hadn't hung out with someone new one on one in a long time and even though this wasn't a date or anything, it did leave him feeling like he had forgotten to study for this social interaction.

"That's cool, I like ice cream and I didn't really think to buy a bunch of hang out snacks either sooo I guess this will be useful?" Aimee shrugged, before taking Beau's coat in addition to the ice cream and hanging it up on their coat rack. "I'm not really sure what we're doing yet, I was waiting on you to get here." Aimee said leading Beau to the living room area and setting the ice cream on the coffee table, "subtly" bending over to show off her shorts as she did so. "So we can watch The Grinch, Polar Express or Moulin Rouge. OR we can play Board Games, we have way too many so if you name one I bet we've got it."

"We can always order something in later if we get hungry," Beau suggested, letting Aimee take his coat as he started making himself comfortable and following her into the living room. His eyes kind of found their way to her shorts when she bent over and he gulped, looking away as fast as he could. It was a great view but it wasn't his to stare at. "Uh, sounds good. Either one. The only board games I'm really good at are trivia games or Twister and those aren't as fun with just two people. We could watch The Grinch?" he suggested, getting onto the couch.

"Yeah totally!" Aimee agreed. She tried to sneakily see if Beau had been looking at her butt when she bent over but was disappointed to see he was looking away. Well only partially disappointed, after all Beau being respectful and not ogling her like she was a piece of meat was definitely not a bad thing and the kind of quality she'd ordinarily like in a potential virginity taker. But respectfulness wasn't going to get her railed, so Aimee made a mental note that she was probably going to have to be a little more direct to get what she wanted. "The Grinch works!" She replied, flitting off to the kitchen to grab spoons and coming back just as fast. "You're right about Twister and the only trivia game we own is Scene it? Twilight and it's rude to invite a guy over just to kick his butt at a game like that." She laughed and picked up the remote before joining Beau on the couch, sitting much closer next to him than she ever would under normal circumstances.

Beau laughed, the idea of going head to head with Aimee on a Twilight trivia game downright funny. "The only thing I know about Twilight is that the baseball scene is supposedly the coolest scene in all of the movies," he admitted. "You'd kick my butt so hard. Not that I'd mind, but you know." He shrugged, trying to relax onto the couch as the movie started. The key word there was 'trying' -- something about how close Aimee had decided to sit to him made it hard to totally loosen up. She was probably just one of those people who had no physical barriers with anyone, it probably didn't mean anything, but it made his body feel kind of warm all the same. Damn, he really needed to get out more; if he hung out with more people more often, he wouldn't get flustered by a simple hang out. Thinking that she'd maybe back up if he scooted in, Beau tried to subtly close the gap between them.

Aimee's jaw dropped in exaggerated surprise that Beau had never seen the Twilight movies before. "That's it? I mean you're not wrong but oh my god, that's like knowing the vampires sparkle at this point! It's too bad I didn't know you were so deprived, I definitely wouldn't have picked a bunch of Christmas movies to watch.

Aimee briefly glanced over at Beau as he scooted in closer on the couch, wondering if he was onto her scheme. It would definitely make her job a lot easier if he was. So Aimee didn't really react otherwise to the new lack of space between them, at least for a couple minutes as she waited to see if he would do anything more. When he didn't, Aimee decided to pull what seemed like a very obvious pick up move on him, the good old fashioned "pretend to yawn and put her arm around him move". Sure, Aimee had no idea what the move was really supposed to do seduction wise, but there had to be a reason it was so universally beloved right?

Beau chuckled at Aimee's reaction. "I like Christmas movies but hey, maybe we can watch Twilight next time," he suggested. He hoped it wasn't too forward to suggest they'd do this kind of thing again but he really hoped they would. Speaking of forward... Aimee wasn't scooting away. Beau had fully expected her to reestablish the space between them but she didn't and so there was none and that was weirdly distracting. He tried to refocus on the movie and let his overthinking go away but then Aimee did something he never expected. She yawned and put her arm around his shoulders, like a horny guy in a movie theater. He bit his lip so that he didn't laugh at the move, but he had to admit that it did kind of work in that it made his heart beat faster. Their faces were closer than he'd been to anyone's in a bit as he turned to her and asked, amusement evident in his tone, "Aimee, are you trying to Crownflix and chill right now?" The question would've felt crazy presumptuous, especially knowing how Aimee felt about DJ and that she hadn't even kissed anyone, but her arm was around his shoulder, she'd invited him over to watch movies, she was wearing tiny shorts. All of those things seemed to be adding up in one way he couldn't ignore.

Aimee's nose wrinkled slightly at Beau's question. She hadn't thought of what she was doing as an attempt to Crownflix and Chill. Like now that Beau said it out loud, that's clearly what it was, but in her mind it was definitely not something so memeable. "I don't know, is it working?" She asked, looking up at him with wide eyes. She would've tried to bat her eyelashes as well but she wasn't trying to completely over kill it and make Beau ACTUALLY laugh at her.

Okay, so a nose-wrinkling in response to that question felt like a no and Beau's stomach sank. There probably wasn't anything more embarrassing than accusing a girl of trying to seduce you when she was just hanging out. But then Aimee kept going and something about the way she looked up at him made his throat dry. "You know the crazy thing? It kind of is," he admitted, looking down at her face, and her mouth in particular. But while that might've been a good moment to go for it, he still wasn't sure of her intentions and his thing with Aspen had been so lacking in communication by the end that he couldn't stand not knowing. "But why though? I know I'm not who you want," he reminded her as if Aimee could forget that she'd confessed her love of DJ to him.

Aimee's face lit up with a smug grin when Beau admitted that her seduction attempt was kind of working for him. Aimee was insecure about a lot of things about herself but her looks had never been one of them so she was kind of living for the validation Beau was giving her. She did however cringe when Beau started asking questions. Not that she didn't think he WOULDN'T have any questions about the situation, but the mere mention of "who she did want" Reminded her of how perfectly matched and coupley DJ and Karmen had been over Thanksgiving in order to appease his crazy grandmother. "I don't want to want him anymore. Remember when when we were talking about basically being in the same boat of loving someone we really shouldn't and you said that if one of us was going to find a life raft, it was going to be me? I think I figured it out." To make her point clear, Aimee closed the already minimal space between the two of them and pressed her lips onto Beau's. Only for a few seconds though since Aimee's newfound boldness was just about at it's about limit and she still had more to say. "To be clear, I think we should hook up and be each other's rebounds. I think we could be really good at it, is that okay??"

Beau listened, nodding as she spoke. He really did understand what it felt like to want someone he shouldn't, and Thanksgiving break had only really served to make him feel lonelier. He wondered if it had had the same effect on her and realized that it probably had; after all, like she'd said before, they were in the same boat, the same sinking boat. And when Aimee leaned in and kissed him, for a brief moment, it felt like the holes in his heart that had been leaking love since he and Aspen ended were plugged and his chest felt lighter than it had in so long. Maybe Aimee was right, maybe this was their life raft moment that would get them through the hardest parts of getting over someone. He found himself nodding in agreement before the words reached his mouth. "I think we'd be really good at it too," he agreed. "Okay, I'm in. Operation Life Raft is a go, so long as we stay open and honest with each other. And honestly? I wanna kiss you again more than a firefly wants to shine."

As cliche as it was, when Beau began to verbally agree with what she was saying, Aimee let out a breath she hadn't even noticed she'd been holding. As nice as it had been for her to kiss Beau, she was 75% certain it wouldn't be worth the humiliation she'd feel from even the kindest rejection. After all, she'd just used her first kiss on him, that was a pretty big deal in itself! "Operation Life Raft, I like that!" She chirped, trying to seem like her heart hadn't practically tried to bounce out of her chest when he admitted he wanted to kiss her again. "The open and honest part, especially. Since honestly, I wanna kiss you again too." Which she did. This time practically mounting him like a horse as she pushed her way onto his lap to comfortably deepen the kiss.

One of Beau's favorite things about Aimee so far was how she said what she meant and she meant what she said, and so when she said she wanted to kiss him again, it wasn't a surprise at all that she did. What was a little bit of a surprise was that she got onto his lap on their second kiss. He and Aspen hadn't moved that quickly, had they? Not that it mattered. Not that he should even be thinking about Aspen. Wasn't that the point of this? To forget? And man, did he want to forget. His hands slid up Aimee's mostly exposed thighs before settling on her butt, pulling her in just a little bit closer as the kiss deepened. It then occurred to him that maybe that was Too Much and he pulled back from the kiss. "Sorry, is that okay? I'm not sure how much is too much too fast now. I feel like we're going to need a safe word," Beau laughed.

As new as she was to this whole kissing thing, Aimee felt like she was really taking to it like a fish to water. Especially once Beau's hands started to move up her thighs, that seemed like a pretty good indicator that she was doing something right. But then he was suddenly pulling back, which probably would've made her second guess herself but Beau had been too quick with his apology. "Huh?" Aimee laughed breathlessly, already a little too drunk on the excitement of kissing him to even begin to guess what he was sorry about right away. But when she finally did, she couldn't help but laugh more. Didn't he know by now what she was trying to do? "That was great. I'm not sure either but I'm down to go whatever speed you want to go. But just in case, we can make our safe word um...Puffin?"

Aimee's laughing made it easy for Beau to laugh too, and his body felt light all over; there really was something different about doing this sort of thing with someone that was just a friend. It immediately felt like it had way lower emotional stakes than any relationship where feelings were involved; it was more about just doing it to have fun, and it honestly felt like he could afford to have mindless fun more often. "Puffin," he repeated, committing it to memory with a smile and a nod. "Got it, got it. Sorry if a safe word's a weird request when we're just making out but its honestly kinda hard not to wanna go a little overboard with you right now. You're really hot," he laughed, "like, really really hot. Like 'I think I'd die if I got to see you naked' hot and I just, don't know, don't wanna rush you." She had just had her first kiss, after all. People didn't generally jump from that to their first time, especially not in the amount of time that it took for the movie to start to when the Grinch finally left his cave.

Aimee couldn't help but laugh again as Beau clarified why he'd asked for a safe word, this time mostly out of slight embarrassment at how hot he said he found her. Aimee rarely doubted that she was what most people would find conventionally "hot" but being called so hot that he "thought he'd die if he got to see her naked"? That was brand new territory. "You don't want to rush me? The girl sitting on your lap...wearing this?" Aimee asked, cheeks burning pink as she unzipped her hoodie to reveal a generous view of her cleavage just barely not spilling from the bra that was the only clothing item underneath the jacket. "Do you really think you'd be rushing me? If anything, I'm trying to rush you ."

Beau was the kind of guy who always tried not to stare too hard at pretty girls -- it wasn't polite. But if Aimee's boobs were distracting under a hoodie, they were even more distracting when they were right there in front of him. "Fuck," he cursed under his breath, taking in the view. He was sure Aimee could feel him getting harder under her, but he was even more sure that that was exactly her intention; in fact, Beau felt kind of oblivious for not 100% realizing, up until this moment, that this entire thing had been part of her plan. He felt weirdly flattered to have clearly been so carefully chosen for Operation Life Raft, and it just made him want to get closer to her as soon as possible. "Believe me, if I was the kind of guy who walked around with condoms in his pocket, I'd be rushing into this like a frog rushes after a fly," Beau chuckled, leaning in closer to her. "If you have one though," he said, kissing her jaw, "well, then I'm honestly down to go as far as want," he finished as he kissed her neck.

Aimee bit her lip as she watched Beau's reaction to seeing her chest upclose, it was both flattering and arousing, especially once she could feel her effect on him. She would've kissed him again if he hadn't started talking and kissing down her neck and jaw in a way that made a sharp warmth shoot from her belly all the way down to her toes. Rocking her hips forward into his, a move that was more grinding than functional, Aimee dug a hand into her pocket and pulled out a short strip of condoms. "Well lucky for you, a girl scout is always prepared and I just so happen to have more than one."

Beau groaned a little against her neck at the feel of her hips against his. It'd been so long since he'd been this turned on -- he'd been single for so long now, and in his last relationship, they'd never gone as far as to have condoms be part of the equation. It felt almost too good to be true that a super cool, super hot girl was into the idea of being sex friends, but he didn't want to question it too much, not when he was rearing to go. "Perfect," Beau praised at the sight of the condoms before taking her mouth in a kiss again and grinding up against her, holding her tight against him as he did, like she was a life raft and he was lost at sea. Whatever happened next, this was definitely the start of something awesome.

[rueitae]

For the record, this is the fault of @sp4c3-0ddity, who originated the idea. You can read it and our subsequent conversation here.

I am so sorry.

When Allura opened the door to the classroom it was as she expected.

Pidge sat at her desk, attempting to ignore the world by focusing on writing whatever current code she had pulled up on her laptop. Their classroom pet, Platt the mouse, lay lazily next to it, soaking in the warmth.

Keith was also at his desk, clearly in deep concentration. He was working on what she recognized as their assignment from Friday. It didn’t surprise her that he wasn’t quite finished. Out of the entire class he was the most meticulous, bordering on perfectionist.

Their current unit of study was weather. Their assignment over the weekend had been to draw contoured lines across a surface map. Lines of equal temperature, isotherms. Lines of equal pressure, isobars. Lines of equal wind speed, isotachs. It was tedious and time consuming if one wanted to get it just right.

He was also visibly trying to claim deniability to what was going on in front of him, as he had a hand up over his face, blocking what was about to be a disaster.

Lance stood on his desk and was eyeing the desk in front of Keith. Hunk stood behind him, on the ground, with bug eyes.

So yes, everything was about what Allura expected.

“Lance, I really don’t think this is a good idea.”

“It’ll be fine, Hunk. It’s not a far jump. How many do you think I can get before Coran gets here?”

“Dude, I don’t want to see you get hurt.”

“I’m recording it,” Pidge pipped up, eyes not leaving her computer screen.

Hunk’s eyes wandered over to the door, where he saw that Allura had just entered. A mischievous grin graced his face. “I’ll bet you can make it to the door.”

Lance looked up and finally noticed Allura’s presence as well. He blushed hard. “Allura! I didn’t even see you come in!” He stepped forward in order to greet her, but in his fluster had completely forgotten that he was standing on a desk, and was not on the ground.

He landed on his back, knocking the desk in front of Keith out of place. “Oww…..”

Soon the class had him surrounded, looking down in worry.

“Lance, are you alright?” Allura asked, concern written all over her face.

“I told you it was going to end badly,” Keith admonished, craning over his desk to look at his classmate.

Lance glared. He was clearly fine, his dignity the only thing wounded. “Stupid gravity, I wish we could just turn it off whenever we wanted to.”

Keith blinked, looking extremely confused and a tad exasperated. “Why even is that the first thing that comes to your mind? Maybe just, not do things that might end up with you getting hurt?”

“You’re one to talk, Mullet.” Lance slowly sat up with Hunk’s help. “I saw your fight in gym class yesterday.”

Keith stared with wide eyes, and very much looked like he wanted to slam his head against his desk.  “We were supposed to. It was boxing day.”

“If you want to turn off gravity, just go to the Zero-G chamber,” Pidge suggested evenly.

“Iverson hates us and you know it. He’d never let us in during our free time,” Lance complained. “I’m talking just snap our fingers anywhere and we could just all float along all cool like!” He gasped before donning a particularly flirtatious grin. “Think about all the romantic possibilities. You could - “

“Laaaaaaance!” The class responded in kind with a mix of groans and annoyance.

“Besides, it’d be a terrible idea.” Pidge continued. “If we could turn off gravity at will here on Earth, everything would go wrong.”

“Pidge is correct,” Allura agreed. “While perhaps fun for a time, I don’t think it is as simple as everything just suddenly floating off the ground.”

“I, personally, would like gravity to continue doing its thing so that my feet can stay firmly on the ground,” said Hunk.

Keith casually glanced up at the clock, where it was nearly time for class to start. “Isn’t Coran cutting it a little close today?”

The door to the classroom slammed open on cue. It wasn’t Coran. “Did someone call the name of the co-”

“No,” Pidge deadpanned.

“-olest, most handsome big brother in the universe?” Leaning against the doorframe, Matt stood flashing a suave smile in the most ‘cool’ stance that he could manage.

Lance jumped up and pointed. “You! What are you doing here? Your classroom is down the hall. You’re not even in our grade.” He then moved awkwardly closer to Allura, who, if she noticed, didn’t seem to care much either way.

Matt not-so-casually waved him off and walked over to where his sister sat, and a second figure emerged from the doorway. Shiro entered back first, checking up and down the hallway before fully entering the classroom.

“I think we’re safe now,” he said in half explanation while he closed the door. He looked far more relieved than he should for being in the wrong room with class about to begin.

Matt grabbed a seat next to his sister and stole a peek at her work, eyes flashing in comprehension. “We convinced Slav let us join your class today,” he finally said.

Hunk’s face fell ashen.

Pidge smiled wide. “Really? That’s awesome! That means we’ll be hands on learning some advanced material. You’re the best, Matt!”

“Anything for the best sister ever,” Matt replied with a smile.

Allura lifted a finger to her chin in thought. “But the only time Slav ever lets you join our class is - “

“I knew it,” Hunk interrupted, already taking steps towards the door and a sense of dread in his voice. “I knew I should have stayed home today.”

There was a distinctive double beep in the near distance. Platt’s ears twitched as he sat up in attention. With a few leaps that Lance could only wish to emulate, the mouse jumped up to one of the windows near the front of the classroom and held onto the top with his two front paws, then let his weight pull down and let the window open.

A purple and pink twister came in through the window as Platt fell and bounced off the ground, landing neatly on the large desk in front of the classroom. The colorful breeze eventually settled behind the desk where Coran stopped spinning, cape spread out dashingly.

“Good morning, students! I hope your synapses are ready to work today!”

“Morning, Coran!” Most of the class responded back as they found their way to their regular seats. This included Matt and Shiro, as joining the younger students was a very regular occurrence.

Matt practically cheered his good morning. Allura, Lance, and Shiro were more measured with theirs, but still obviously enthusiastic. Keith and Pidge were distracted, but amicable.

Hunk wore a look of distrust and worry, already repeating a calming mantra to himself.

“Today we have a full day of learning ahead of us!” Coran explained with glee, taking off his stylish helmet. “We’ll be taking a look at the fabulous effects gravity has on weather on different planets!”

“Yes!” Lance exclaimed, pumping his fist. “Zero-G here I come!”

“No better way to learn about the universe around us than to experience it for ourselves! That means it’s time for a - “

“Field trip!” The class finished for him, most of them already rushing out the door. The school bus with a strange silver and blue paint job beeped for joy in the background.

Hunk burried his head in his arms. “I knew I should have stayed home today.”

~~~

It beeped again when the entire class was seated inside it.

Coran sat at the steering wheel with Platt comfortably on the wheel itself.

“Everyone ready? Our first stop will be a Balmera, and if we’re extremely lucky, we’ll experience the unique environment of a Weblum!”

“Sounds awesome! Let’s do this!” Lance said excitedly.

Even Hunk softened up a bit in the seat in front of him. “I guess if we’re headed to the Balmera again it’s not too bad of a field trip… I’m glad I didn’t stay home after all.”

Pidge grinned wolfishly from across the aisle. “You just want to see your girlfriend.”

“No kidding, Hunk. I want to meet her. I didn’t get to go with you guys last time,” said Lance.

“That’s because you were recovering from surgery,” Keith reminded from his seat in front of Pidge. “We went into your brain.”

Lance shivered. “That still gives me the creeps you were all inside my body.”

The Bus seemed to take offense at that and beeped angrily. Several springs in Lance’s seat came loose and pinched his butt.

“Ow! Dang it why does the Bus hate all of us?”

“It doesn’t hate us, Lance.” Shiro was ever trying to be the voice of reason. “Buuuut it definitely loves Allura the best,” he admitted with a helpless shrug.

The Bus beeped in confirmation.

Allura blushed from her seat across from Shiro. “Oh my. I’m flattered, Bus.”

Matt grinned wickedly. “Allura is truly a diamond in the Bus.”

There were groans all around. “Maaaaatt!”

Coran laughed at the antics and turned to Platt, who gave him a mouse salute. “Time’s ticking by in the school day! Bus, do your stuff!”

With a turn of a key, the Bus did just that. Today, it had decided, it was going for a very specific form. One that, when you looked on the outside, was more castle than spaceship. Since they were already halfway to Earth’s Moon, no one was bothered by it.

Bonus:

Except that someone was bothered by it.

Somewhere, deep in outer space, Shiro awakes in a cold sweat. He looks around and sees that he is in his room on the Castle, just as he remembered he had left it the night before.

He double checks that he is still here. Body? Check. Mind? Debatable. Spirit? The Black Lion purrs in confirmation.

For the first time in what seems forever, Shiro did not dream of his time with the Galra but rather his team displaced into a children’s cartoon.

He resolved to find himself a hobby. Fast.

[an-oath]

Wait for it.

Picture this. You are standing in the scorching Florida sun awaiting the sweet breath of the oscillating fan. As it makes it pass over your sweat beaded face you look down and gawk at the tan lines your sandals have made on your “once white” feet. You can only imagine what you hair looks like under your faithful straw fedora that hasn’t been removed since 9AM. You stand behind someone that is in great need of deodorant and you stand in front of someone that has an exhausted 8 year old. You realize now that the last time you ate was a churro at the Great American Movie Ride and that was 4 rides ago. You haven’t moved 2 inches and you know that you’re committed for the long haul. You pull out your wrinkled WDW Map and plan your next venture only to repeat this earthly hell over and over again for the rest of the week...you smile at the prospect of that though. You are happy.

Oh, and by the way, if you haven’t noticed, you’re at Walt Disney World. More specifically, you’re at Hollywood Studios. You stand in a line of people that are awaiting, in your opinion, the most exciting roller coaster in North America. Aerosmith’s Rock N Roller coaster. It’s 1 minute and 22 seconds of an exhilarating 92 KM/H. You can’t wait to see the hologram of Steven Tyler and you can’t wait to hear “Dude, looks like a lady” burst your eardrums as you soar off the launch pad. There’s nothing more exciting than this ride.  You look over the gate and see the Tower of Terror and think how much you want to ride it again but then you think how much you really don’t. This is joy for you. This is happiness. Most of your day will be spent in line. You will talk to the people you’re with about the fun facts that you know and wish you knew. You will laugh about the stupid things and smile at the sweet things. Waiting in this line is something you’ve been doing since you were 5 and you’ve perfected the art of the rail lean. Waiting here is nothing. It’s easy if not, blissful. You see the children cry, you see the parents sweat and all you think about is how excited you are to be those parents and how much you loved being that kid. You are a professional WDW line waiter but when it comes to life... waiting is your worst quality. Our entire existence has been molded around waiting in some form. The acknowledgement of our life begins as your Mom stares at a stick for 2 minutes waiting for a pink line. Then it’s waiting 9 months. Then it’s the day and now she’s waiting hours (if not days) for your arrival. The first few minutes of your life are spent with strangers as your Mom waits to hear you cry and waits to hold your slimy body. She waits and watches as you start to move, start to talk and start to become your own person. She waits for you to become something great. Then, you can’t wait to become someone great. You can’t wait for Kindergarten,  before you know it it’s Grade 1 and then a day goes by and you walk into Grade 6 with those beautiful braces and freckles for days. Highschool is brutal and you can’t wait for that to be over. Until you graduate, then you spend the time waiting to grow up. You wait for your parents and siblings to start viewing you as an adult, even though you know how terrible you are at it. You wait for the people that take too long to grow up. You wait for your friends. You wait for dreams and you wait for dreams and while you dream you wait for your dreams. You watch as the time goes by and the waiting seems more exhausting than promising. There’s moments when you get excited, moments when you think the waiting has reached it’s peak and then you learn how to wait away heartache and wait away disappointment. You wait for the time that it was easier to wake up and come face to face with a God that promises your heart’s biggest dreams if only you wait on Him. It takes everything in me to expect the best. If I was, by default, a realist, this wouldn’t be so exhausting. Unfortunately, I’ve been a dreamer since the pink line arrived and I wouldn’t change it for the world. I have people that tell me once I’m into something, once I love something, I’m all in. I don’t blink at the prospect of pain - I fly away with the dreams of a future, of success and maybe even a new scene to admire. However, I’ve been feeling like that trait is more of an Achilles’ Heel than I’m comfortable with. Loving anything in this world is complicated. There’s nothing more noticeable than loneliness. Call me naive but I really believe that I wasn’t meant to be a singular anything. I’m like one of those penguins (pingwings) awaiting the arrival of her man to watch her egg and protect her dreams. As time goes by, I realize that waiting is not my weakness - expectation is. I’ve been expecting so much for so long that it has torn an open hole in my heart. The rawness of being disappointed starts to eat away at whatever dreams you have. You only see things for what they are or you start to expect the worst which defines the death of a dreamer. I don’t ever want to be that. I don’t ever want to expect a nightmare when I close my eyes but I feel like this refining season has taken its toll on my little heart. I want to so much to be able to believe God when He tells me that He has a hope and a future for someone like me. Lately, all I can see is the same repetitive lifestyle. It’s become predictable, I’ve become predictable. It’s been hard to even talk to God right now. I don’t doubt His love for me, I know He loves me more than I can even try to imagine, but I do doubt that He’s got me. I doubt that He sees my bruised dreams and my broken heart. I doubt that He’s preparing someone for me. I’ve been waiting for the elusive guy for so long it’s practically my hobby.

I know how wrong that paragraph is but I can’t tell you how true it feels.

I had a conversation with two beautiful people that are getting married next weekend, to say that they are made for each other is an understatement. These two are the dream that I have lived out. These two make waiting easy and so extremely difficult. We talked about whether or not I believed the single life was a gift. I scoffed in my head. A gift? Sure, if you want to give someone a lump of coal. The single life, this season, is the hardest thing I’ve done and to me it seems like the furthest thing from a gift. I want to be able to stand in front of someone and fearlessly be able to give them my entire heart, healthy and beating, my entire dream catalogue, glowing and colorful and everything that makes me...me. I feel as though these things have been weather worn and who I am isn’t who I imagined I would be. The “wife” version of me is so far away from where I’m at right now. The truth is I’m not equipped to be someone’s partner and as I wait and as I learn more about myself I get terrified because I don’t know if I ever could be the wife that I dreamed I would be. I know that I’m not enough for anyone. I know that it’s a false truth to believe that I could fulfill someone’s entire existence on this broken blue marble. I’m always going to be this broken, sloppy shirt individual with the super rude dreams and the tongue twister imagination. I’m not good at waiting and waiting’s not good to me. I need God to do this and I don’t doubt that. I need to trust that God’s got me and I really want to. I need to believe that what I see right in front me is so far away from the reality of my dreams. I need to believe that my dreams can be reality. Life’s not very nice and I’ve never ever expected it to be easy but there’s that little side of me that is waiting and is happy about waiting. The WDW Wait. I want to feel that way as I wait for life. Not even just my person...life in general. I’m fully aware that marriage isn’t the be all end all to life - there will always be another season of waiting and always be another moment I have to trust God through but I want to wait long enough to be able to see the smirk through the line ... through the wait. I know it’s possible - I just feel like it’s going to take awhile. but hey...I’ve got all the time in the world to figure that out. I know that this sounded a little gloom and doom - and I’m sorry for that - but I’ve always wanted this page to be a place where I can vent and throw it all out there to the world. I know that other people are in the same place I am and I know that I don’t have the worst life in the world (far from it.). I share this to you because I want you to be in on my journey as I wait for my life to be molded around God’s timeline and not my own. I know that there will be a day where I can stand beside someone that has the most perfect personality, the best eyes you’ve ever seen and the biggest heart for God you can imagine. I know that the somebody I’m waiting for is worth 10 lifetimes of waiting. I know that he’s few and far between and I don’t say that lightly. I like to think, as hard as its been, that I’ve been protected. There is story after story of premature endings to potential somethings in my life. They’ve all fizzled away and it’s my fault. It’s all my fault. I always pray, every time I start to feel the “bubble” of excitement, “ God, if this isn’t it - I don’t want it. Take it away.” and every time, He does. That’s how I know He has me. It’s been too frequent to be a coincidence - I know I’m not that terrible. :P Anyways, thanks for reading, if you’ve lasted this long and I pray that whatever worn out dreams you have and whatever waiting season you are in - I pray that today, you take a deep breath, just like I did, and imagine the reality where your dreams are unveiled and your waiting takes a turn for the better. I know that’s the best way to do it. Wait and wait and wait and wait and expect the best. Always. Otherwise, you’re just a tumbleweed in a ghost town of dreams unfulfilled. <3 SQ