#she doesn't want to kill anyone and if possible she'd use her magic exclusively for healing

[tvrningout-a]

don't mind me but i'm thinking about the fact that chiyo's never been in a fight or purposely hurt someone before. she's never had to kill anyone before -- why would she in a modern age where violence isn't the norm in day to day life? yet mal brings her into this world where fighting is a necessity, where most who travel at least know how to wield a dagger or a sword or a bow or something. he makes her his champion and expects her to wield magic in order to save and protect others, yes, but to cut down enemies as well. he expects her to accept violence into her life bc for so long, it has been part of his and those he loves. but it's not that easy.

chiyo cries the first time mal kills a rabbit so she can eat. she gets sick the first time she sees him kill someone. she has an anxiety attack when she first stabs someone trying to kill her ( they don't die from it, but her hands are red, red, red ). and it's really not even the fear that makes all of this so hard bc chiyo can work through fear, suppress it. it's the idea of taking a life. it's hard to come to terms with. it's hard to think of it as necessary even though it really is at times. and mal feels guilty about that, which is why he initially doesn't push chiyo too hard to fight.

she eventually gets used to the violence that comes with living in dorverold but :' )) man is it rough for someone like chiyo :' )))