#she KNOWS that haibara isn't really a child either

[doe-eye-oswald]

SHE'S ALREADY INVOLVED THO!?

[vartouhix]

Aloe, chamomile, lavender, poppy

botanical headcanons ; accepting aloe : how does your muse handle grief ?

You would think that, with having had family that were sorcerers ("were" because they either died or retired in fear of dying), she would be more used to death. But she's not. It guts Jangmi every. single. time. She was raised by her grandparents because her mother and father both died on missions shortly after she was born. Jangmi often thinks how strange it is that two people who would have been such significant figures in her life were completely snuffed out of her timeline. It is a harrowing thing to think of how they never saw her waddle around in diapers, were never there to dry her tears after coming home from a particularly hard day at school, never joined the clapping at her graduation. She often wonders how life would be different if she had known them. Some people say it's hard to miss someone you never really knew, but in Jangmi's case, that isn't true. Her heart aches for them, in the moments where she dwells on their absence from her life. She doesn't cry anymore, not like she used to as a child, but it still hurts.

For people she does know, like Haibara, she isolates. As much as she wants to let everything out, she fully realizes that approaching Nanami, Gojo, Geto, or Ieri might blow up in her face, as everyone grieves differently. She doesn't want to trigger anyone because she can't handle her feelings by herself--she doesn't want to be a burden. She goes to Yaga-sensei and the school doctor at the time for counseling, but it's not enough. Jangmi cries herself to sleep for months, cries in her sleep as she dreams of him. It's not pretty or tranquil crying, either. It's screaming into her pillow to muffle the noise until her throat is raw and painful. Her pillowcase is soaked by the time she finally wears herself out. Jangmi's eyes are red and swollen when she goes to class the next day, and she can't meet anyone's gaze, knowing how obvious it is. She stays away from the group so they might not pay attention to her; might not notice it. Again--she doesn't want to bring anyone down, remind anyone of the loss, even if it's the elephant in the room.

With casualties on missions--people she doesn't know--she still hurts. All she can think of is Haibara, and how he loved his younger sister, and he had parents, and such a bright future... She thinks to herself, so did these people who lost their lives. No matter how she tries, she can't seem to harden her heart like her colleagues have. She just distracts herself with other things so she doesn't have time to dwell on it. But she loses sleep over those people. Tears make their way down her cheeks as she stares at the ceiling and sees their bodies in the darkness. She takes sleeping medication for those nights.

chamomile : what is your muse likely to take away from a painful experience ? are they one to be haunted by adversity , or to use what they’ve gone through to become stronger ?

I answered this here. ^^ I want to specify that when I said "haunted by," I don't mean it's something she thinks of every day, but rather that when certain variables start to come together--ones that could potentially weave into becoming that thing that happened before--she'll obsess over it and want full control over the situation. She hopes that, having been through this before, she has enough insight to make better choices, to manipulate things to go better this time around, to avoid the pain. That's when she's "haunted by" it.

lavender : how easy is it to gain your muse’s trust ? once their trust is broken , how might one go about mending it ?

Jangmi used to be very wary of people, because of all the bullying she endured. She was wary of her fellow students at Jujutsu High until so much time had passed without incident that she finally began to relax a little. In her adulthood, she still has a healthy skepticism about strangers. So many of her bullies had been popular, conventionally attractive people... She knows that anything could be lurking beneath the surface, no matter how beautiful or beloved someone seems to be. However, it's not nearly as bad as it was in her adolescence. Back then, she might have immediately expected bad things of new people she met, whereas as an adult, she feels neutral about them, simply waiting to judge them by their words and actions--and actions more than words. Speaking of which, if her trust is broken, an apology isn't enough. It is, however, the first step, and a required first step, in her opinion, because if you aren't going to own your breach of trust, are you really even trying to mend things? It's in actions that she'll come to trust again.

There are some things that you can't come back from, for her. Killing or torturing innocents, for example. As much as she was smitten with Geto, there is nothing he could say or do that would regain her trust. If he had given himself up, somehow been given the option to be detained in some sort of sorcerer-prison and repent, she would have accepted the terms, might be polite and even cordial with him when they were in proximity, but she would never trust him again. After all, if a switch was suddenly flipped once, couldn't it be flipped again? And in her love life, cheating is something someone cannot come back from. Once someone cheats on her, she cannot trust them again.

poppy : what comforts your muse ?

Jangmi likes to escape into books; it's something she's been doing since she could read. She also always really enjoys physical touch. For example, even with something as simple as a headache, she likes to lean her head on someone's shoulder, or lie her head in their lap and have them play with her hair or pet her head. It just gives her those warm, happy feelings that help her feel better. The smells of lavender and jasmine comfort her, as well. Food smells like vanilla don't really do it for her, because they just make her hungry.

[shuxjodie]

Shuichi leaving Jodie behind, at the end of Vermouth arc. Was that an act of carelessness?

Like everyone I thought that it was careless to leave her behind. Even as mere colleague it's not acceptable.

Then why Shuichi did that?

Let's look at the panel.

According to Shuichi's excuse, Jodie is an FBI agent who is on a Long Vacation but accidentally got into this child abduction case. And no one would have believed Jodie since Vermouth excaped them. They had no proofs against the crime that she was about to commit. And even favouritism wouldn't have worked here.

Even James said he didn't want to announce about such a famous actress without any solid proof. It was way too risky.

But here the question arises that what if Jodie would have called her colleague for help as she was injured. And that's why he should have stayed there. But that wouldn't have made sense in any case as-

Most importantly, if she would have said that she made a call, then police would have checked the call records to confirm her statements. But she never made a call to Shuichi in the first place. They would have suspected how come he knew.

Then let's say she called Shuichi by any means.

Then the question arises how? Where is the resource she used?

Second, there were two culprits against jodie. How come they left her to make a phone call? Where she got the blind spot to make a phone call, when there was more people against her? They would have killed her/stopped her then and there.

And even if she made a call, then why she didn't call cops instead of her colleague. Calling cops is the better way around especially on a foreign land.

But it was Ran who called the police while hiding in the trunk. No one knew that she was there. It was necessary for Jodie to come up with an excuse that would have matched with this incident of ran in her explaination.

And the culprits ran away after hearing the Siren of police car, not because they witnessed anyone who called the police. Her excuse should have matched here too.

Then another question arises, if during the car chase as per her excuse, she would have called her colleague.

Again the same point that they would have checked the call records.

And at that time GPS system wasn't at that time when the chapter was published so Shuichi had no means that he could have tracked her phone.

And again calling the cops is better than one colleague.

And as per her excuse she never made a call because she was in a rush. So Shuichi couldn't stay there as per this reason too.

Basically if Shuichi would have stayed there with her, then everything would have went against her. And Cops would have suspected her if she was working as an undercover agent. As she worked as a high school English teacher and she quit the job just before this showdown. And no proffesional cops will buy the excuse that she worked as an High school teacher for fun.

And hence they would have deduced that Shuichi went there as he knew before because all these things were planned before. And since they did't have any proof, Jodie would have ended in a very bad situation.

And his excuse worked really well. 👇

And if you carefully look at the panel again-

Shuichi already knew that Japanese police were coming, but he even stayed as Jodie was giving her reasoning that how come cops knew. With her given situation, it wasn't necessary for her to give her the explanation at that time. But he stayed and listened to her that long.

And Jodie wasn't shot in a manner that she will die in the very next moment/. instantly. Or else she would have died way before. And she have this pain tolerance. She was shot and was unable to move. But she used her whole strength to reach the blind spot where Calvados couldn't have shot her. So she can wait until japanese police came who were already nearby.

If she would have lost consciousness, there is no question that Shuichi wouldn't have stayed there with her. But since she didn't so he waited for a while and then left.

And why Calvados didn't shot her while she was trying to move?

When she was injured she would have moved slower than her usual pace. And in that time Calvados would have shot her again, very easily. But he didn't. Why? Because at that time, Shuichi already broke his legs and earned that amount of time for Jodie in which she changed her location.

FBI assigned Jodie this mission to catch a member of BO, that means she is very capable agent. And he volunteered her to find the targets. He didn't appear in the beginning because Jodie needs to work on her mission before. He possibly can't interfere in her mission by not giving her the chance that she deserves from the very beginning. But Shuichi grasped things and went to save her and haibara too. So he showed up later.

So if he would have stayed there for Jodie, he would have only made it more compilated which would have resulted against Jodie's favor in every manner.

Then every viewer had this thing in his mind if he left her because of his dark past. But that's wrong. It's a sort of mixed things I would say-

But he came to save Jodie anyways. In the beginning he knew that Jodie picked up Haibara. And when Shuichi decided to go there he knew that he will face Haibara anyways. And he didn't know that Haibara will get unconscious. No one knew that Ran was there and would save Haibara and both will get unconscious. So he went to save Jodie even he was well aware of this thing that haunted him badly. But the situation worked in his favour.

And look carefully👉

It was after giving her the excuse, he told that he cannot face haibara yet. He must have felt so guilty that he couldn't even look at her. He wanted to leave soon before police would have witnessed him with Jodie.

Maybe there was this another possibility that what if in the meantime, Haibara will gain consciousness and witness him then and there? The chances were very low because she recently fainted over the shock caused by gun firing at them. Maybe he really wasn't able to look at her face directly either. By any means he can't stay there around. He went there to save Jodie irrespective of his past so he didn't left her because of his past but for her sake. Also his guilt is responsible somehow that he didn't want to take any chance that if Haibara witness him.

And if we think about it, it wasn't necessary for him to say anything about his past because he was leaving anyways. As he said - " Then I will leave rest to you" before giving her the idea of excuse. But he still said that because he trusts her with his dark past up to this extent and she understands him too. Because Shuichi won't say anything related to his dark past unnecessarily to anyone and so he trusts Jodie. Maybe no one else but her since he said that in front of her.

They say sometimes it's better to stay away from the people you care, whom you don't want to put in bad situation. Isn't that he did here? Well he always does that with people he cares.

Conclusion-

So it wasn't an act of carelessness. But it was for the sake of Jodie, that he came up with on the spot. And James owed Japanese Police an apology anyways but this saved Jodie from punishment she would have get.

❤