#sharing christmases and holidays and families and being on tour again
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blossoms-phan · 17 days ago
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i know they make fun of us for the clothes sharing in the show and the close up screenshots on the screens are actually like a slap in the face but it’s really funny watching the tree and seeing dan wearing a green plaid shirt under his grey hoodie and then they cut to the next day and phil is wearing the exact same top
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adamfoolcry · 4 years ago
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of coffees and holidays (d.sc)
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pairings: Ballerina!Sicheng x CafeOwner!FemReader
rating: 13+
warnings: swearing
genre: angst and fluff
synopsis: Your and Sicheng's love story in five coffees with varying degrees of sweetness spanning five Christmases.
word count: 3k+
a/n: for @127-mile, I hope I did justice for your prompt. Hope you enjoy reading it. Happy Holidays! 🎅 Thank you to @neoculturechristmas for organizing such fun event. It can be read in chronological order if y'all wanted to. I promise it's a happy ending. Not proofread so please excuse the mistakes, I am so dumb. Please reach out to me if you would like to do so. - xo aria
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Christmas 2019 - Espresso
Outside as flakes of snow fell from the sky, like a light shower of glitter from the heavens, the elusive holiday spirit seemingly present in the air; you watched a young couple huddled together to share warmth, fingers intertwined, cheeks glowing red partnered with coy smiles on their faces, and a family of three in admiration of their son as he showed off his Christmas gift. The streetlights emitting an orange glow providing an aura of softness, making everything come together to form a picturesque scene.
Heartwarming as these scenes were, they failed to evoke any emotion out of you; if anything you feel excluded from it entirely. To you the world behind the cafe's glass windows is just a film you're screening in the cinemas, and you were nothing but a mere spectator. You continue to stare listlessly at the throngs of people passing by until they all mesh into a blur of colors your eyes couldn't catch fast enough. That's better.
Inside the cafe although decorated with trinkets for the holidays there was an air of sadness permeating every corner and seated itself onto the furnishings. Lately it seems like sadness is following you around everywhere - like a shadow - and instead of trailing behind you it looms over you shrouding your every thought until it completely consumes you.
No one stepped foot inside the cafe and with no one to entertain your mind drifts to him. Sicheng.
How many days has it been? Since you last saw him. You've lost count, a lie you tell yourself to make the dull ache in your chest bearable. 
It's a torture how you could recall that day - the day you lost him - so vividly as if you are forced to relive it every time the silence eats away at your resolve; to tuck the moment into the deep recesses of your mind, where it can't hurt you. When every little thing reminds you of him, his favorite spot at the cafe, black turtlenecks and that undeleted grainy picture of his sitting in your gallery. 
You could never forget the look on his face, resignation etched into every crevice of his features, a forlorn smile on his lips. 
"I see," he said in a bittersweet tone before he turned his back at you. 
The slam of the door is the nail that hits the coffin. Sicheng is gone. He has already walked out of your life. That was the last you saw of him for he never visited the cafe again.
A month passed by when Sicheng called you. Your heart leaped as his name flashed on your screen and your thumb shakily pressed the answer button; afterwards lifting it near your ear.
There was no greeting as he uttered in his low voice that you have missed so much, "My flight to Russia is this Saturday." 
Your heart sank.
"I want you to see me off, ______." 
Don't go please stay with me but there are certain thoughts that weren't meant to be put into words so instead, "I'll be there." You reassured him.
But you never showed up at the airport that Saturday. Instead, you were at the cafe staring at the screen of your phone blinking on and off as a wave of notifications with his name flooded your phone. Why make things harder? As if him leaving wasn't hard enough. You pressed the power button long enough to shut down your phone.
The following days passed away into months that's a haze in your mind. You can't recall anything worth remembering. You quickly filled up your schedule with mundane tasks just to have something to do filling every gap of your vacant time. 
At night you fell straight to bed, your body collapsing from the physical strain you have subjected it with. Establishing a packed routine without idle time so you don't have time to linger on the dull ache in your chest - always there like a festering wound. This works until you find your list of chores unexpectedly accomplished earlier than you planned, the cafe shrouded in still quietness. 
Alone with nothing else to do the dull ache amplified to a crippling one and it bites you right back in your face, forcing you to acknowledge the hollow feeling that seems to reside in your chest permanently. Your eyes would be heavier, your vision blurry, trying to blink away the tears but ultimately failing as it trails down your cheeks; you clutch at your chest because it hurts and you regret that the last you'll see of Sicheng is that face of hurt he wore.
Christmas 2016 - Vanilla Latte
You placed the cup of vanilla latte sitting on a saucer on the table daintily, pushing the saucer across the wooden table towards the customer, avoiding to make any noise. The customer seemed so engrossed with the novel he is reading - nose almost touching the pages - that you don't want to disturb him. 
The said customer is a regular, there was not a month that he hasn't visited the cafe. Showing up five minutes after you flip the signage to open, with no fail not even a minute late. 
Wearing all black from head to toe, a tall lithe figure, and an androgynous facial structure, your guess is that he works as a model. Even now without trying he is captivating; he makes the cafe look like a set for a magazine spread just by lounging in the matching cherry wood table and chair, and you can't help but stand there and shamelessly stare at him. god really has his favorites.
His work must require him to travel to different countries and have photoshoots in scenic spots, oh how you wish you could also jetset to other countries. Packed schedule for the day that he doesn't have time to think about what he is going to do next. That is a luxury you don't have especially in the ber months for there is a decline in customers and with no one to entertain, your mind goes on an overdrive pondering on uncharted waters of how you have nothing else going for you but run this cafe.
Aside from his penchant to wear all black, read a novel while drinking his choice of beverage - choice of beverage you ask? - you see the other peculiar thing about this man is that he doesn't have a 'regular drink'. Most if not all people who go to a cafe know what they are going to order before they have set foot inside. This man doesn't, his eyes would flit on the menu, scanning from left to right and back again. It is almost ritual like, this would go on for a good minute or two as you drum your fingers on the counter waiting for his order. 
The snow is falling outside covering the otherwise grey pavement white, decorations for the festivities hung around the four corners of your quaint cafe. Yet here he is, nursing a cup of coffee instead of being somewhere else. Doesn't he have a family? to celebrate Christmas with?
"Can I help you?" The man said, turning his face slightly in your direction not quite yet abandoning the book in his hand.
"Ohh uhmm-" you were jolted out of your trance, startled you took a sidestep only to collide with the chair where a large unzipped duffel bag was placed. The contents of the bag spilled over. 
"Shit! I am sorry." You quickly knelt to the ground to pick up the scattered items on the floor, the man joined you. Charger, earphones, epsom salt, bandage, and tiger balm ointment as you picked up the items you also increasingly grew baffled. What a weird assortment of things. You reached for the item that somehow managed to get under the table and as your fingers came in contact with the rough material of the cloth you learned that your assumption of his job was wrong. A man's canvas ballet shoes.
I thought he was a model.
"What?" The man questioned. You wince to yourself you just didn't say that out loud. You emerge from under the table to find that the man was looking at you too intently for your liking. His eyes sought out yours waiting for an explanation and as if you owe him one you started explaining yourself. 
"Well, you are tall and extremely handsome so .." Cringing as the words flew out of your mouth. The man chuckled at your confession, a tell tale sign of a smile on the corner of his lips.
"I am flattered really but as you can deduct by now I actually do ballet." He rose to his feet and offered you his hand to help you stand up. 
Unlike other days where he will leave the cafe after an hour or two, this time he stayed and unlike other days where you find yourself alone in the cafe; you find yourself enjoying the company of this mysterious man. 
Where you quickly learned that all your presumptions about him have little truth in it. You learned that his name is Sicheng, and he is a principal dancer for the Korean National Ballet company not a model although with his looks he might as well be one. Yes, he travels but mostly for tours and performances. He practices an average of eight hours a day. 
Your fascination for his life spurred the conversation as if you were friends catching up with each other. With the book set aside and the contents of the cup long empty you two didn't notice how much time had passed. He bid you goodbye with a promise to visit you again tomorrow. As you watch his retreating figure getting smaller, the snow piling on top of each other over the glass windows of the cafe there was a smile on your lips - the warmth of a newfound friendship is akin to a good cup of coffee - making you warm from the inside out.
Christmas 2017 - Cappuccino
"Surprise me," Sicheng said leaning on his hip at the counter, arms crossed on his chest, when you asked him what he would like to drink. Standing there he looked like the culmination of your dreams.
Maybe it's the iridescent lights from the numerous christmas lights that flickered on his face making him look more exquisite or the grin he gave you after. You did surprise him but not in the way he was expecting and to be honest you are also shocked by your sudden brazenness as you lean in to kiss his plush lips. The kiss didn't last long, a little more than a peck but long enough for you to regret it.
"I .. I am sorry," you stammered burying your heating up face in your hands, embarrassed. You didn't even see Sicheng's reaction, was he appalled? You peeked through your fingers to find out, when Sicheng started laughing, tipping his head back a little, eyes crinkled in mirth, his right hand covering the half of his handsome face. 
You want nothing more than to shrivel up in one corner. He started tugging at your wrists, pulling your hands away from your burning face.
"Mind giving me more of that surprise?" The corner of his lips curved upwards, nose slightly crinkled, and you wished to etch his face to memory.
Christmas 2018 - Americano
He was late, you glanced at the clock hanging on the wall, it is now 11 P.M. and soon Christmas will be over. 
The americano you have prepared already cold, his untouched while yours halfway finished. It's fine though because you know that this will be the first of the many Christmases you have to spend without Sicheng. You must get used to spending it alone again. 
Musing to yourself your mind quickly took a trip down the memory lane of his last visit to the cafe before he got on tour with the company for one of the holiday stage productions. 
--------
You have only heard the thud of the door as it closed on its hinges. You are currently cleaning the countertop back bowed and eyebrows furrowed in concentration as you meticulously scrubbed at the stubborn grease that won’t budge, lifting your head to do the customary greeting, when something or rather someone barreled straight to where you are, engulfing you in a tight hug that shoved you headfirst into that someone’s chest your nose burrowed deeply into the black cloth. 
Recognizing the intoxicating scent of light musk and citrus, relief flooded you as you hugged Sicheng back. You don't know how long the two of you stayed in that position basking yourself with his warmth just a little longer.
He's real, he's here a safe and solid presence by your side. You can count by one hand the things that have endured with you throughout the years, other than the cafe which you have run since your mother got sick, dropping out of college to keep it going. And one of those is Sicheng you've found in him stability and comfort your past partners can't give you.
Sicheng pulled away putting some distance between the two of you, his arms naturally falling at his sides. He was wearing one of his brightest smiles, the apple of his cheeks high and pronounced on his face.
"_______, I've been offered the position of principal dancer at Bolshoi Ballet in Russia," He can't help but smile again clearly enthusiastic with the prospect of joining one of the most prestigious ballet companies.
It took you a moment to answer settling with an unconvincing, "Wow." You don't know how to react with his news, but you feel dread in the pit of your stomach. You don't like the idea of him leaving. You try not to let it show in your face.
"I know. I was also surprised." As if sensing the change in your demeanor he asked concerned, "Is something wrong, ______?" 
"Nothing let me whip you a drink I found from the net," you brushed him off with a wave of your hand. 
----------
"Hey _______, I am sorry there was some minor traffic that held us back," Sicheng announced his entrance that broke your reverie. Setting his duffel bag on the floor to sit on the opposite chair facing you.
His hair tousled, cheeks rosy and nose red but despite his healthy complexion you can also see the pronounced bags under his eyes with a tinge of violet. He looks tired and in dire need of rest. Yet he headed straight to the cafe instead of his apartment. 
"Sicheng I've wanted to tell you something," perching your arms on the table to fiddle with the ear of the cup.
"Yeah?" Sicheng asked, staring right at you.
"I think," you cast your eyes down on the table, and with a small voice continued, "we should break up." 
"You think?" 
"I mean we should"
"Why?"
"I ... it's just that it will be easier for you." Your hands started gesticulating in the air.
"Don't give me that bull shit. You are not the judge of that," Sicheng replied in a cold manner.
"It's just you have this life before me and you'll also have a life after me." Your voice cracked, and you gathered your strength to look at him. "I am grateful that you have been a part of my life. You are crazy talented and right now the world opens up in front you and you deserve better. I can't give you that I ..-," clutching at your chest, "I am just me."
"It's nice to know that you think of me as some temporary phase in your life and here I am fool enough to think that maybe you'll want to come with me to Russia," a cruel laugh slipped from his lips, "christ, I can't even choose what coffee I'll be having and finally for once in my life I've never been so sure of anything," voice trailing, "but us.
"So I'll still ask because I know I will regret it, if I don't. Do you want to come with me?" Sicheng pierced you with his eyes, wearing his heart out on a sleeve. Leaving himself unguarded and hoping you'll come through.
But you have never been brave. "I'll stay and you go."
"I see," he said in a bittersweet tone before he turned his back at you. 
Christmas 2020 - White Chocolate Mocha
"I told you Renjun you don't have to do your shift at Christmas." You look up to reprimand Renjun, and instead are met with familiar feline eyes that seem to see right through you. There stood Sicheng looking like an intricate piece of art displayed in the museums. It is more painful to look at him than anybody warned it would be. It hurts how familiar you are with him still dressed in black - turtleneck and slacks, his trusty duffel bag hanging on one shoulder, he's still the same but now you are nothing more than a past fling to him.
"Hey," Sicheng walked towards the counter greeting you.
"Hey," you shake your head from the trance that took over you, "Oh I'll make you something."
"I'll have a white chocolate mocha." Slightly surprised by his request it took you a second to start preparing it.
"When did you come back?" You inquired as you moved about to prepare his drink.
"Yesterday night" 
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"Would you have fetched me?" He asked nonchalantly.
You momentarily stiffen evading to answer the question you throw another at him, "How are you? Is Russia treating you well?"
"Can we cut the crap out? As much as I love dancing, I don't like dancing around in circles. I've come back for one reason only." 
"Will you come with me to London?"
Looking at Sicheng standing there - after how much you have hurt him - you thought you will never see him again and you have long accepted that punishment. You are not brave and you will never be but
"Yes, I'd love to go with you."
what you have with him is worth it.
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a/n: Read more of my works for NCT here:masterlist
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rosegoldjen · 5 years ago
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christmas at the hemmings
word count: 1767
this one shot is based on a fic that I have been writing (but not published, yet) about tour!luke and if this is something that you like, I would be more than willing to start posting chapters of the full fic! enjoy :) 
Christmas was a special time of year for the Hemmings. They went all out, not sparing any expense for the celebration. The extended family traveled to Luke’s family home to celebrate with those that they loved. This year was no different. The tour had just ended and Luke felt he was in a confident enough place in his relationship. He wanted to show her off to the world. 
“I don’t like the pressure of having to meet your family during such a special time of year,” Juls groaned. She and Luke sat curled on the massive couch in Luke’s front room, the Hallmark channel playing quietly in the background. A bottle of wine sat half-drunk on the table in front of them and Juls had the rim of her lipstick-stained wine glass pressed to her cheek. 
They had been dating for almost six months now. The sticky relationship between the two of them had remained a secret for most of the tour; the two of them deciding to keep things quiet until the excitement and business of their tour lives ended. Luke’s fans had only just found out about the relationship two months ago, and Juls still hadn’t gotten used to being recognized as Luke Hemming’s girlfriend. 
“It’s okay. You’ll love my mum and she’ll love you. Christmas is one of her favorite times of the year, and she’s going to be so excited to have one more person to explain her pecan pie recipe too,” Luke was laid out on his side with his legs on top of her lap. She groaned again, leaned forward to set her wine glass down, then flopped over with a defeated huff into his stomach. 
He smiled to himself as he observed the internal war going on inside her beautiful mind. One of the things he liked too much about her was her unexplainable need to make every one like her. It was a quality that he himself did not possess. He didn’t care what others thought of him. Her awareness and his lack thereof balanced both of them and made them a team capable of overcoming anything. 
He smiled deeper and continued to stroke her hair. 
A few days and a fifteen-hour flight later, Luke and Juls were walking in the front door of Luke’s childhood home. It felt strange to Juls, she was used to snow and bundling in scarves and hats to go to Grandmas for dinner. She never imagined wearing sandals and a sundress to Christmas dinner until she started dating a tall, Australian rock star. 
“Mum!!” Luke’s voice called through the house as he set the suitcases on the floor in front of the stairs. His accent had become much more noticeable, even in the short Uber drive from the airport to his house. Juls was not complaining at all. 
Liz Hemmings rounded the corner at the bottom of the stairs. Her eyes landed on Luke and immediately filled with so much pride and joy. 
“My baby,” she opened her arms wide and Luke stooped to wrap his arm around her. She patted his back a few times before pulling away. She held him at arm’s length to examine him before commenting on his appearance. 
(Luke was wearing a plain white t-shirt, black jeans, and his converse, a normal outfit for plane journeys.)
“My God, I do think you’ve grown five inches since I last saw you.” Liz’s eyes examined him closely. “And your lip ring is gone!” 
“It’s been gone since May, Mum,” Luke smiled and subconsciously ran his tongue along his lip, feeling the phantom ring that had been part of him for the better part of four years. Juls noticed this tiny movement of his and felt something in her stomach. She personally missed the ring. 
When they had first gotten together in mid-April, she had loved the way the cold metal contrasted with the soft warmth of his lips. But she understood what that ring symbolizes to him, and why he needed to take it out. That doesn’t mean she didn’t miss it though. 
“This is Juls,” Juls zoned back into the conversation in front of her, her eyes moving from Luke’s lips to his hand on her arm, to the outstretched hand of Luke’s mom. 
“Hi,” Juls reaches out and took Liz’s hand in her own, shaking it gently. “It’s so nice to meet you. Thank you for inviting me to your Christmas.” 
Liz smiled warmly at her. “Of course, honey. Luke has not stopped talking about you since you met and when he proposed bringing you over for Christmas, I couldn’t say no.” 
With her tone and her smile, and Luke’s hand reassuring on the small of her back, Juls felt even more at home than she did in her own apartment. She knew immediately that the dynamic that this family had was something that she wanted to be a part of for a long long time. 
“Luke, why don’t you take Juls upstairs and show her where you’ll be staying. Your cousins and the kids will be here shortly and your brothers are coming just before dinner. I’ve got a pecan pie to finish.” 
Luke grabbed their luggage and started up the stairs. Juls followed. 
Christmas traditions had remained the same in the Hemmings household for as long as Luke could remember. Everyone shared a big meal together on Christmas Eve. After the meal had been eaten and the adults had red cheeks from too much laughter (or maybe it was from too much wine, Luke still couldn’t decide), they migrated to the front room to watch their favorite Christmas movies. 
Juls loved that she had the chance to be a part of these traditions. She didn’t want to admit even to herself how quickly this boy was beginning to become her whole world. She wanted to be a part of his life and if that meant spending the entire Christmas holiday, she loved every second of it. 
Watching Luke with his baby cousins was something that made Juls practically melt. He was a natural with them. He picked them up and made them laugh. She stood at the bay window in the back room and watched as he carried them on his shoulders and galloped across the backyard. They adored him.
“He’s a natural, isn’t he?” Liz startled her just a bit, but Juls didn’t mind. She smiled and continued watching her boyfriend lope across the backyard with two little children attached to his back.
“He is,” Juls smiled when she responded, continuing to watch him.
“He loves you, you know,” Liz said, gently. Juls hummed. She really didn’t know what to say to respond. “He talks about nothing but you. And the way he looks at you, oh honey, I’ve never seen him happier.”
“I’m happy too.” And she realized, she meant it. Juls had never met anyone who had made her feel more safe and more at home than Luke had in just the short amount of time they had been together. 
“And when he was with her, he was just miserable. He never called, he never came and visited, the last two Christmases he didn’t even come home. Somethings changed though, and I know it’s you.” Juls realized that she agreed with Liz.
“Mum!” Luke’s voiced called from the kitchen.
“In here, sweetheart!” 
Luke walked through the opening that led to the kitchen. He had the two small children in tow. Luke’s eyes landed on Juls and immediately his expressions changed from exasperated to soft. He smiled his dimpled smile and gave her a quick wink. Juls felt her cheeks heat just a little as she smiled softly back. 
It was strange for her, showing any type of public display of affection, even something as small as a wink in the privacy of Luke’s childhood home. 
“Aunt Liz, Aunt Liz!!” the kids ran out from behind Luke’s legs to get the attention of their doting aunt. 
“They’ve been complaining about how hungry they are for the last hour,” Luke explained, casting a hopeful look at his mother. Liz just laughed and started ushering the kids towards the kitchen. 
“I’ll take care of them,” she smiled and kissed Luke’s cheek on her way by. “You kids tired your cousin Luke out!”
Luke laughed as he took a few steps closer to Juls. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders from behind and rested his chin on her shoulder, pressing a quick kiss onto her shoulder. Juls reached up and wrapped her hands around his arms and leaned back into his chest.
“Hi,” he said into her hair.
“Hi babe. How’s it goin’?”
“I’m not as young as I used to be, I’ll tell ya that.” She felt his lips move into a light smile against the back of her neck. 
Juls laughed, “You just turned 21 babes, how old do you think you are?”
“Hey. They are half my age, that means twice the energy.”
“Sure, sure that’s exactly what that means.” 
“Mmmm,” Luke mumbled into her shoulder. “I’m so happy you decided to come with me.”
“Of course,” Juls turned in Luke’s arms and wrapped her arms around his neck. “I wouldn’t miss spending time with you and getting to meet and hang out with your family has been so so much fun.” 
Luke pressed a kiss to her forehead. “They love you. Out of all the girls I’ve brought home, no welcome has compared to the welcome that you received. Plus, they haven’t let anyone sleep in my bed with me.”
“I’m honored,” Juls laughed. They had talked about past relationships. Juls knew that he had been seeing someone else when something first started happening between them, but since the drama had blown over, they were able to laugh about it now. 
 “I am proud that you are the first,” Luke closed the distance between his lips and hers in a quick, but meaningful kiss. 
This Christmas was the best Christmas that either of them had had in a while. Christmas Day turned into Christmas night which was filled with board games, wine, and laughter. Luke spent most of the night watching Juls interact with his family. She naturally blended with the sweetness of his mother but was willing to put up a fight with his father. His brothers loved her sense of humor and the back and forth she kept up with them. And his cousins loved her. The kids wanted to sit next to her at dinner and during the board games for the rest of the night.  
Luke was happy. 
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prettywordsyouleft · 6 years ago
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Our Christmas - Family
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Genre: fluff / Christmas au
Pairing: Mark Tuan x reader
A/N: Our Christmas is a five part series that starts from first meeting someone to the magic of Christmas through the eyes of children!
**I purposely chose to change the names of Mark’s siblings because I didn’t feel comfortable writing them into this story as they’re not famous/idols themselves. I used a random name generator to name them as well, so they might not match well to their personalities, but I feel much better sharing this without using their real names.**
Our Christmas: Meeting // Together // Family // Newlyweds // Children
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As the plane descended towards the tarmac, you took a deep breath. Not because you anticipated the landing of your flight, but rather, your trip to California had gone faster than you expected.
You weren’t prepared for what was waiting for you.
Mark took your hand out of your lap then, giving it a gentle squeeze. You glanced at the man next to you and sighed softly. He knew you too well, and you couldn’t hide your anxiety from him.
“I’m excited too,” you told him weakly as the plane hit the runway and Mark smiled at you.
“You’re allowed to be anxious, even though you know my family don’t bite. This is a big thing for us as a couple, right?”
You nodded.
The last two and a half years of falling in love with Mark had been the best. You hadn’t realised what you were missing in your world until he walked in and filled those spots effortlessly, the whirlwind of your love soon meeting all the important milestones – the first intimate moments, the I love you’s, moving in together and now it was time to spend Christmas together for the first time. Your first two Christmases were spent apart as you celebrated with family, spending New Years together instead. And whilst that was working as you grew accustomed to living in each other’s worlds, it made sense with how far into your relationship you now were to want to be together on the most magical day of the year.
It wasn’t that you didn’t want to be here with Mark this year either. Of course, you had frequently imagined waking up in Mark’s arms on Christmas morning, lazily greeting each other with words and kisses, before getting up to open presents together. Every year so far you had just video chatted instead, enjoying the festivities together through a small screen. You were excited to experience everything in real time at his side this year.
But it was a big thing to be halfway around the world and not with your family too. You had already celebrated a pre-Christmas get together before hopping on the plane to LA, and you had to admit, having Mark at your side as you caught up with your relatives was really satisfying. You knew they all adored him and had high hopes for your future together. You saw how seamlessly he fitted in with your family, playing with your niece and conversing with your brother and cousin for hours on end about gaming. You had dreamed of this for so long that it made your heart full knowing how easily you could imagine this continuing.
But Mark already knew most of your family before the get together. You often went and had dinner with your parents, and sometimes babysat your niece together when your brother and his partner were busy. Your family was all close to where you lived, making it accessible to slowly introduce Mark into their world.
It was different with Mark’s family.
You had met his parents when they came to visit throughout the years, and you got along with them well. They treated you as if you were family already, and it encouraged you to open up more to them with each visit. But he had a bigger family than you. Thus, there were a lot more people to meet. From the video calls you had each Christmas so far, his house was always busy. Christmas was a grand affair for the Tuan’s, with extended family and friends all coming over for dinner, and enjoying the activities well into the night. You were worried about showing your best side to those who didn’t know you yet.
It didn’t help that Mark had casually let it slip that you were going to be the first girl he had ever brought home for any special holiday outside of his close friends. This was a big deal, even if he didn’t seem to think so.
It was all you could focus on during the entire flight, and you were still thinking about it as you took your carry on luggage from Mark’s grasp. Your heart was racing when you walked at his side towards the arrival gates, smiling weakly at him whenever he squeezed your hand.
“Keep breathing, it’s alright,” he instructed softly into your ear before you stepped out to find his waiting family. You expected just his Mum and Dad, maybe a sibling or two.
You weren’t prepared.
You didn’t need to look around far to find them, a gathering of people off to the side with signs held up and cheering leaving their lips at sight of you both. You glanced up at Mark with a surprised gaze before you headed over to where the Tuan family stood, instantly being engulfed in the arms of various people.
“Oh my goodness you’re even prettier in real life!” Libby, his older sister, oozed as she hugged you warmly.
“It’s so nice to see you again, sweetie,” his Mum then greeted, not letting you even get one word out in response to his sister. It carried on in this fashion until you were certain you had been handed around to everyone who came to welcome your arrival. Finally, you were back in Mark’s care, his arm slung around you loosely as you walked with him to the exit in a stupor. There was too much noise and bustle for you to take in and you were overwhelmed.
In a good way.
You finally smiled, allowing yourself to enjoy the experience. It sure was different from back home, but you liked it.
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You were immediately given an important task upon arriving at the Tuan household – to be their guest. You were asked by more than one member of the family if you needed anything, and then given a house tour by Mark’s Dad before being delivered to Mark’s bedroom, your boyfriend already in there with your luggage bags. He grinned at you before coming over to give his Dad another hug.
“Taking good care of my girl?” he asked and his Dad chuckled.
“Your? No son, it’s our now, our girl. Right, Y/N?”
You giggled as he shot you a wink and then told you to rest up for an hour before coming down for dinner.
And as much as you were getting used to being around a bunch of different people, you finally found yourself taking your first steady breath when he closed the door. Mark smirked at your reaction and pulled you into his arms. “Still overwhelmed?”
“A little,” you admitted and he chuckled. You smiled at how much he reminded you of his Dad then. You buried into his embrace further, inhaling his cologne which helped you relax further. It was like the scent represented being home. You loved nothing more than being in Mark’s arms.
“My family like you,” he mentioned, stroking at your hair. “A lot.”
“You already can tell?” you asked as you lifted your head up out of his chest and Mark took advantage of the action, leaning down to kiss you tenderly before he nodded. “Really? We haven’t been here long! I was so nervous trying to answer all of Jack’s questions in the car.”
“You did well to answer them all,” he assured, kissing the top of your head. “And Bella thinks you fit in the family well, which you do. Mum’s already lining up to get your help with baking Christmas cookies tomorrow.”
“Oh god, what if I accidentally poison you all?”
Mark shook his head as he laughed again. “Then I’ll die happy because you’re here with me this year.”
“Uh oh, sappy Mark has arrived,” you noted and Mark leaned in to nuzzle you with his nose affectionately.
“You love sappy Mark.”
“I love all of you,” you replied, feeling a sudden need to speak up how you felt. Mark’s smile faded as you stared up at him. “Even though this is all a lot, I’m happy I came with you. This is going to be our best Christmas yet, right?”
He nodded, kissing your lips briefly. “We’ll be welcoming in the new year in the best of moods, I’m sure of it.”
“Let’s get through Christmas first,” you suggested and then pulled away from him, finally looking around his bedroom. It was your first time seeing his personal things from his upbringing and you smiled as you shifted around the room. “So this is where you grew up.”
“I mean this wasn’t the only home I lived in, but it’s a pretty nostalgic room for me,” he replied, coming over to pick up one of his Math accomplishments. “Now you get to see how much of a nerd I was too.”
“Oh, I already knew that,” you answered with a smile, lightly brushing your hands over the books on his shelf. You then glanced at him. “I live with you, if I didn’t know what a dork you are-”
“Hey! A dork and nerd are two different things!”
You nodded in agreement, amused. “Is there anything I need to know about in this room? Any juvenile secrets to uncover?”
“How comfortable the bed is,” he quipped with a smirk and you rolled your eyes.
“I think we need to go down and help with dinner now, what do you think?”
“You won’t be helping, baby. You’re the guest of honour tonight; it’s going to be all about you.”
Great.
Just as you were starting to feel at ease in his home, Mark had to throw you another reminder of how overwhelming today was turning out to be.
You took a deep breath and pointed at the door. “Shall we?”
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The two days leading up to Christmas were full of activity with the Tuan family. They had taken you to see snow up in the mountains just in case you were feeling out of place with their lack of a White Christmas. And there was the endless meal prep which you insisted on helping with, becoming quite the little unit with Mark’s Mum, Libby and Bella within the kitchen space. You were laughing more than you had ever done in your life, you were certain about it, and by the time you had rolled into bed on Christmas Eve, you felt as if you had lived here forever. Your anxiety had eased the longer you sat curled up on the sofa talking with Mark and his Dad, or learning all about your boyfriend and his childhood antics from the three main women in his world. As a family, you had all decorated the only bare tree in the house as per Christmas Eve tradition, and you had welled up when they handed you an ornament with your name on it. You knew that you would enjoy Christmas day now; you were truly a member of their family as soon as you hung it up on the tree near Mark’s. And much like Mark had been with your niece, you yourself were smitten with the children in his family, playing with the girls and Mark all over the house after decorating the tree.
You had earned your sleep that night.
And as Santa and his reindeer set out around the world to deliver presents and Christmas spirit to all, you dreamed of a life where trips like these would happen more frequently in the future, but with new additions to come. You woke up with a smile on your face as the lingering visions of little children that looked like you and Mark slowly left you. As your eyes adjusted to the morning light infiltrating the room, you gazed at the sleeping form of the man you loved. Mark had no idea just how much you wanted forever with him at that moment, and it was such a magical experience to stare at him knowing that you were imagining everything a future could hold with him.
These thoughts alone were enough for you this Christmas.
He soon stirred, perhaps he had felt your inner desires overwhelm the bedroom, Mark’s eyes slowly opening as a lazy grin grew upon his face.
“Merry Christmas, Mark,” you greeted and he nodded once, rubbing the sleep away from his warm brown eyes.
“Merry Christmas baby.”
“Are you ready for today?”
“Are you?” he shot back with a small smirk, brushing your bed hair away from your face. You turned to nuzzle into his hand, kissing his wrist lightly before nodding.
“I’m excited about everything today.”
“Me too. I’m so glad I get to do everything with you at my side this year.”
“What’s first on the schedule for the Tuan household?” you wondered, sitting up a bit. Mark did the same and helped you scoot in between his legs, his arms wrapping around you as he rested his head on your shoulder.
“Breakfast in pyjamas. It’s a family tradition.”
You nodded slowly. “And then?”
“Present time. Then we’ll get a couple of hours before it gets kind of hectic here.”
“Okay,” you said, feeling determined. “Let’s do this.”
Breakfast had been delicious and now everyone was seated around the family room opening presents. The kids had gone first and were now playing with their new toys merrily across the room as the adults all opened their own gifts, exclamations and thank you’s filling the room. You had opened a lot of presents already, some for you only, others for you and Mark as a couple. There was only one present missing from under the tree, and as you watched his parents open gifts from each other, or Bella and her wife doing the same, it had you peering at the now bare spot under the tree for where your present might have gotten misplaced. Mark had already opened his from you and put the watch on happily, marvelling at it every few moments and kissing you in gratitude on the side of your head.
You weren’t a petty person naturally but you were a little miffed when present time was over.
“Everything okay, Y/N?” Libby asked you as you glanced under the tree again, your gaze darting away immediately with her attention. She seemed to click on to your search and shot her brother an accusing look. “I haven’t seen a gift from you to Y/N!”
“Oh, it’s fine-”
“It’s not arrived yet,” Mark announced awkwardly, rubbing at the back of his neck. His eyes only connected with yours momentarily before he looked down at your hands in your lap instead. “I’m sure it’ll get here before the year is out.”
“I’ve been spoiled enough,” you stated, smiling at everyone and trying not to let your curiosity build.
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Christmas had been eventful and had taken two full days to completely recover from. Life in the Tuan household seemed to settle down some with family returning to their respective homes, though they still visited most days. You had been so wrapped up in enjoying your final days in California with Mark’s family that you had almost forgotten about the elusive Christmas present that hadn’t arrived yet.
Almost.
As you woke up on New Year’s Eve in Mark’s arms, you stared at the wall in front of you. Everything had been so perfect; you couldn’t choose your favourite time out of any experience so far. But it was your last full day here in California and you had a small nagging feeling that it was the missing gift that had made Mark uncharacteristically anxious around you, and not the impending flight back home and away from his family.
You wanted to put him at ease, to let him know it was okay. Because it truly was. You had been gifted with so much this holiday, from him and his family. You felt a sense of belonging in your “second home” now, and you were already planning when you could come back for another visit.
You didn’t want Mark to feel distant with you on the last day of the year.
He evaded you for most of the day, helping his Dad and brother set up for the small gathering tonight to bring in the New Year together. And you had been equally busy assisting where you could as well before a surprise trip to a spa was sprung on you, going off to get your hair and makeup done for tonight. It was crazy how this family did things, but you were getting used to it. With the knowledge of being a part of their annual family photo this year, you forgot all about your worries, now focusing on looking good tonight instead.
The party was well underway before you got some alone time with Mark but it was short lived when a childhood friend of his dragged him away again. You felt cold, wondering why he would so easily shrug you off. It felt like a different Mark from the one who was glued to you regardless of who came up to you both on Christmas day, and his efforts to get you under the mistletoe all night long left you both in a playful mood that had extended well into the night within his bed too. Since that night though, he had been too distracted and it was beginning to hurt.
You wondered if you were reading into things too much and wandered out into the terrace by yourself for some fresh air, enjoying the brisk wind that caught at your dress and made it swirl around you.
“Oh Y/N, here you are,” Mark’s dad suddenly said and you turned to see the older man smiling brightly at you. “I’m glad to find you here. I wanted to make a toast with you. Hold on, stay right here and I’ll go get you a glass.”
You agreed to wait and stared around the area mindlessly, gasping when it suddenly lit up with thousands of fairy lights. You gasped at the beauty of it all, and then noticed someone was approaching you, but it wasn’t who you expected. Mark smiled at you warmly, rubbing a hand over your cheek before he licked at his lips.
“This is so pretty,” you breathed and he nodded. “I wonder who turned them on?”
“I did.”
You stared at Mark for a moment and then realised what he was up to. It was only more obvious when he dropped to one knee in front of you.
You wanted to say you heard all the words he was uttering to you. But your mind was shouting out the answer your heart was giving you endlessly, the positive affirmation near deafening you until you suddenly said it aloud, making Mark pause midway in his proposal. He stared at you for a moment before he grinned, getting up as he pulled a box out of his pocket.
“Always too hasty to let me finish,” he muttered, but he was too elated to truly be mad at you, sliding the ring onto your finger. You marvelled at how perfectly it fit and then up at your fiancé.
It was going to take some time to get used to that.
There were claps now erupting around you both and you glanced to see everyone watching on, a blush crossing Mark’s face as he scratched at the back of his head with all the attention. Just like the first time you arrived in California, you spent the next hour being passed around, enjoying the jovial mood of the last night of the year and your proposal. It was honestly the best way to end the year and your trip with Mark. The countdown towards midnight was five minutes out, and you knew you had to ask the man holding you in his arms a question that had been floating around in your head all night long.
“This is my Christmas present that went missing, isn’t it?”
“We had to trick you somehow,” he mentioned slyly and you gasped, now realising how many were in on it. You guessed Libby’s comment was only to plant the seed of doubt within you on Christmas day.
“You have no idea what I was saying to you, do you?” he asked of you a minute later and you blushed, nodding weakly. “Maybe you don’t deserve to know.”
“I figured since I know how well you like to prepare for things, you’ll be able to tell me all about those words at a later date?”
“I will, every day from here out,” he agreed, kissing your head as he pulled you closer. “I can’t wait until you’re my wife.”
“I can’t wait until we have kids too.”
“Christmas will be magic with them here and back home with your family too.”
“Christmas will always be magic,” you mentioned, turning around in his arms so you could stare up at him. “Because I’ll always be with you.”
_________________
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flannelpunkcalum · 6 years ago
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Hey @theagenderwhocriedwolf ! I’m SO SORRY THIS IS SO LATE but hopefully the content kind of makes up for it! It’s been a delight being your secret santa! Let me know how you find it, I’m dying to know. 
Michael was nervous.
Not in a bad way, not really, not in the lung-crushing way. He didn’t have that so much anymore. Just nervous.
Christmas had been really, really good this year. He’d been able to see his parents a little before the actual holiday, and he’d spent the morning curled up with Raye and Southy and making breakfast with Christmas music playing and then absolutely spoiled them with presents and it had just been the best he could have hoped for.
But now they were showered and dressed up and he was fussing with his hair in the hallway mirror wondering why he hadn’t made a more, I dunno, tame style his personal brand all those years ago. 
It wasn't gonna make a great first impression, meeting his partner’s parents.
“You almost ready?” Raye said, appearing behind him. They looked great. Well, they always looked great, but especially lately. Mikey liked to think it was because he was keeping them so happy. They didn’t get a lot of time together, so it was really important for him to make use of the time they had together. Judging by the softness in Raye’s gaze, he was doin’ alright for himself so far.
“I’m ready if you say I am, my love.” He said, holding out his arms for inspection.
Raye didn’t even hesitate before they spoke up. “My family’s gonna love you, handsome.”
“I'm guapo.” Michael smiled, turning to grab his jacket. He’d been trying to pick up a little Spanish ever since his partner had floated the idea of visiting their family over Christmas, and his accent was still horrible. It was worth it to get that smile out of them, though, every time he threw in something from his tiny vocabulary.
“Muy guapo.” They agreed, very generously. “Now let’s go before we’re late, alright?”
Michael toes on his shoes. “Vamanos.”
By the time they pulled into the driveway, he was feeling agitated again. He had never really met someone’s family for Christmas before. He really, really needed to get this right; Raye would love him through most mistakes he made tonight, he knew, but - he just wanted them to see how well he could fit with their family.
“Hey,” he heard, and when he shut the car off and looked they were looking back, eyes full of concern. “You gonna be alright? You don’t have to come in for long-”
“-no, no, I want to. I’m just - nervous.”
Raye gave his hand a squeeze. “You can handle sold-out stadiums, you can handle my family.” They said, before slipping out of the car.
Michael wasn’t so sure. Stadium tours were all well and good, but Raye had never been on the line before.
He was just gonna freak himself out about this if he stayed in there any longer. He took a deep breath and slid out, joining Raye as they headed to the house. Was he slouching? He tried to check his posture as Raye knocked and opened the door. They both slipped inside, but Mikey had barely stepped inside the threshold before his partner disappeared into a massive hug.
Despite his nerves, he felt himself smiling at the sight. Raye deserved to be so loved. And, of course, he hadn't even taken off his jacket before someone detached themselves from the hug and was coming for him. “And this must be Michael, hm? Don't be silly,” the woman added as he extended his hand to shake. Instead, he found himself folded into a hug just as warm as the one he had seen enveloping Raye.
“Looks like you’ve met my mother.” Raye smiled as they pried the coat out of his hand to hang it up.
“Pleasure to meet you.” He managed.
When Raye’s mother pulled away, her eyes were smiling. “You should have brought him home sooner.” She said, turning to her child. As Raye’s father started to greet him, Michael thought he heard Raye murmur I know.
That made all his nerves worth it.
After that, it was easy. He met her grandparents, endured good-natured teasing over his wardrobe, answered questions about his band. Over tamales, where Raye had been kind enough to tell him not to eat the wrapping, he sat close enough to them that their knees brushed under the table. It wasn't like a Christmas would have been at his parents’, but it was good. It felt right to be here, with Raye by his side. He liked seeing the way they smiled when he got up to help clear the table.
“Who’s having dessert?” Their mother asked, as soon as the dishes had been cleared. “Michael?”
“Oh, nothing for me, thank you. Dinner was great I'm - I mean, if Raye gets something I'll help them.” He joked, sharing a look with his partner. He didn't want to be the kind of boyfriend who controlled what they ate, but after he found out about their diabetes - listen, if he could encourage their health, he'd give up all the Christmas cookies in the world.
Raye must have appreciated it, because they split a small portion with him and that was it. Michael tried not to show how much his heart swelled at that. He was trying to eat healthier too, so as not make his lover feel left out, and he knew now how hard it could be to say no to sweets. It meant a lot that they would do that partly for him.
When they moved into the den to read the Christmas story, Michael pulled Raye close and slung an arm around them. “Can I just say, quickly, that I'm so grateful to you guys for letting me join you this year.” He announced, before anyone had started reading. “It really means a lot.”
Raye folded in a little closer at that as her family beamed, and Michael felt a little surge of joy. This was big, right? Meeting the parents and all. If he was really, really lucky, maybe he'd get Christmases like this for the rest of his life.
“We're happy to have you here,” Their grandmother said, turning to Raye. “Mija, you picked a good one.”
Michael didn't have to look; he could feel the way Raye was smiling beside him as the story was read. “Mija?” He whispered to them, trying not to attract any attention. Raye shushed him, but they didn't seem to really mind. He made a mental note to ask them about that when they got home. They looked so sweet when they heard that, made him want to use it more often.
But that could wait until they got home. For now, he had his partner beside him as they listened to an ancient story, warm and fed and blessed to be together. For some reason, he felt like Christmas was about to become his favourite holiday.
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wantisamlindyla · 7 years ago
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Your Ghost - Chapter 1
New York, 1999.
He wanted her to live again, even if she could only come back to him through the pages of a book. 
A/N: Hi all. I’ve been sitting on this for a while I finally decided to post the first chapter.  I have a rough outline but I don’t know how many chapters there are going to be, maybe 6? This is AU, Mileven, takes place 15 years after Eleven disappeared. Most of season 2 still happened, but there was no Mike/Eleven Reunion at the end of episode 8. Will eventually post on Ao3, but I dunno when I’m gonna get my invite to set up an account. Enjoy!
28 October 1999
 “Ladies and gentlemen thank you for coming here today. There will be a book signing of this amazing book after this session. Now, the reason for why we are all here today, and why some of you have been lining up outside the venue all night, is currently backstage, waiting patiently for me to stop nerding out and pull myself together to introduce him!
 After publishing his first novel and topping the New York bestseller’s list at only the age of 23, he is here tonight to talk about his newest novel, titled the Ides of Winter, and the third book in the world famous Montauk series. Everybody, please join me in welcoming to the stage, Michael Wheeler!”
***
It was one month and 17 days into the book tour. Mike had one more stop in New York before he could call it a day and go home.
He was so goddamned tired, he still had several book signings, an interview with the New Yorker (with that pretentious prig, Howell), a TV appearance on the Today Show, and, a few radio interviews, before he can escape back to the Lake house in Lovell, Maine which he now called home.
It’s not all bad news though. New York means seeing Will again for the first time since Christmas.
Not that Mike has completely lost all touch with his old friends, quite on the contrary.  
After graduating from a fine arts course at his brother’s alma mater, NYU, Will had decided to stay in the city. He’d eventually landed an unpaid internship at a small start up animation studio. Now Will split his time travelling back and forth from California to New York as the head character designer on a number of superhero animated cartoons that Mike watched religiously on Saturday mornings.
It wasn’t hard to stay in touch with Will, it was just that this last year had been manic. Mike had barely fit in time for sleep what with working frantically to get his novel finished, having to attend stressful and tense meetings with his editor, forcing himself to return his lawyers’ phone calls about a copyright infringement litigation his publishers had commenced on his behalf, and having to deal with ideas about for the short story anthology he had been working on springing up at the most inconvenient times.
He and Will still managed to talk every other day though, either by telephone or AIM.
Ever since Nancy and Jonathan officially became a couple around Christmas of ‘84, Jonathan and Will became regular dinner guests at the Wheeler residence. He and Will had become almost inseparable, more than anybody in the party.
During his parents’ divorce, which took place during Mike’s sophomore year of high school, with Nancy and Jonathan away at college, Mike spent more and more time at the Byers’ residence, trying to escape the tensions at home, right up until he left for college in ‘89.
At college, Mike made new friends, attended dumb keg parties, dated girls, but he never lost touch with Dustin, Will, Lucas, or Max.
You didn’t help save the end of the world with your friends, twice, and then drift away from them over trivial things like distance and attending different colleges.
In fact, Mike had just met up with Dustin only a few months ago. Dustin had been in Maine for some reason connected with his annoyingly mysterious job.
After Dustin had graduated from MIT he had immediately been recruited by a secretive tech company in California. Dustin couldn’t talk about where he worked or what he did at his job. Whenever people asked him where he worked he’d tell them Cyberdyne Systems with a straight face.
He and Dustin had attended the Phantom Menace premiere together with Dustin’s then-girlfriend, Cindy. The boys had left the movie theatre deflated and heartsore while Cindy had tried valiantly to console them by saying all the wrong things.
Dustin called Mike a few weeks later to inform him that he and Cindy were no longer going out.
“I had to dump her Mike, she said she thought Jar Jar Binks was cute. Also she refused to share her food with me when we went out.”
“So?”
 “So? So? It’s weird. We go out for Italian and I end up having to eat an entire Pepperoni pizza on my own, which I don’t really mind, but then her ravioli looks good too, but she won’t let me have any because she likes us to have our own meals. And don’t even get me started on that time I took her to Wang’s Treasure Palace.” 
Besides those occasional and surprising visits during the year there was always Christmas and New Years at Lucas and Max’s place to look forward to.
Of all of them only Lucas and Max had opted to return to Hawkins. Lucas quit his mechanical engineering job and got a position as an assistant professor, teaching at the community college only after a few years in Chicago. Max got a job as a mechanic at a garage. They bought a house, got married, and got busy starting a family.
Mike smiled at the memory of last year’s Christmas.
He’d practically lived at Lucas and Max’s house the whole time he was there since the picture perfect Wheeler family Christmases that his mom had worked so hard to create during his childhood was now only a distant memory.
Nancy preferred to spend her Christmases in New York with Jonathan and Mrs Byers. The Wheeler home had been sold a few years ago when Holly had left to go to college. Holly preferred to spend her holidays in Chicago with her boyfriend’s family.
His mom was away on another cruise, and, his dad was busy with wife number two.
So, Mike spent his Christmas and News Years at the Sinclairs. He’d taught their three-year-old son, Robbie, how to build a snowman. He conducted a twelve-hour D & D Campaign, pelted Dustin with snowballs, watched a pregnant Max eat all the ice-cream and listened to her complain about how gassy pregnancy made her, watched a star wars marathon and gorged on pizza on Christmas day (just because Max was the only girl in the party did not mean that she would be cooking and cleaning for four man-child wastoids who liked to mooch off her and Lucas).  
Mike considered a detour to Hawkins for a visit after New York so he could meet the newest addition to the Sinclair family, baby Grace, who was about to turn 6 months old. He decided to bring it up with Will tonight at dinner.
Mike pulled himself back to the present and to the interviewer who was introducing him to her broadcast audience.  
“You’re listening to Terry Gross on Fresh Air. Joining us today is Michael Wheeler, author of the best selling book series, Montauk. The series is set in the 60s, in the small town of Montauk in upstate New York, the town is haunted by the misdeeds of its occupants.
The main protagonist is Millie, a brave young girl, with a few secrets of her own.
When Millie’s best friend, Noah, goes missing in mysterious and sinister circumstances, she sets out on a journey into the woods near the town to find him. The first two books in the series have already sold over 80 million copies worldwide and a movie adaptation of the first novel is currently in the works. The third book in the series, Ides of Winter, was released recently.
Michael was only 23 when the first novel in the series was published. He was awarded the Hugo Award for best new author in ‘95 and he has been named one of Time’s most influential people of the year. Michael thank you so much for joining us today.”
“Of course, thank you for having me.”
Terry was one of the best interviewers Mike had the pleasure of meeting. Her soft spoken and inquisitive questions put him immediately at ease, so much so that so he almost forgot he was being interviewed on radio.
He didn’t forget to lie though.
When Terry asked him about where he’d drawn inspiration from for his twelve-year-old girl protagonist, he told her Millie was a blend of himself and the two sisters whom he’d grown up with.
When Terry asked him what drew him to the supernatural and horror themes prevalent in his novels, he only talked about the books and authors he’d read growing up.
“Michael, my favourite chapter of your second novel is the Cave of Horrors. I’m sure you get that a lot. I just wanted to ask you about that chapter, because it’s pivotal, its when Millie comes to believe that she may have truly lost her friend forever, and you write so well about grief, and loss, and the trauma associated with that at such a young age. I guess what I wonder is, was this kind of loss something you had experience with?”
Mike pauses for a long moment.
He doesn’t know what it was, perhaps it’s the kindness in Terry’s voice.
Maybe it was the year he’d just had, it’d been especially difficult.  
Maybe it was the tour.
Maybe it was the thought of that big empty lake house waiting for him at the end of the tour.
Maybe he’s just so tired of the lies and the bullshit. He didn’t really even understand why he still did it; it’s as natural as breathing, but its been almost 15 years. All the men who could punish him or his friends for saying the wrong thing are long gone.
He doesn’t know why or what it is, but all of a sudden his chest feels as if it’s been cracked wide open and its like everyone can see the wound inside him, vulnerable and raw as the day it happened. He wants to tell the world about her, he wants to scream it from the top of the Empire State Building.
He’s twelve years old again, he can smell the tang of blood and the smoke of ashes that had never touched fire. He can hear the violent and desperate screams of a dying creature ringing in his ears and in between darkness and the flickering fluorescent lights, he sees her eyes, tired, resigned, and filled with pain.
Goodbye Mike.
He wanted her to live again, even if she could only come back to him through the pages of a book.
So he’d saved her the only way he knew how. She came back to life by people reading his book, by growing to love and adore Millie, the brave and wonderful girl that would face monsters and death in order to save her friends.
“I….I lost a friend when I was a kid Terry. I don’t really speak about it often. But the way that it happened….it was violent and sudden. I don’t think I was able to come to grips with it for many years. It’s hard to admit sometimes, I think I lie to myself about it, but so much of her is in my writing.”
Terry nodded thoughtfully even though though the gesture won’t be captured by the microphone.
“Did writing help you with dealing with that loss?”
Mike answered honestly, “I don’t know. Some days I think it’s made it worse, because she’s with me, everyday. I live and breathe the loss of her in work. But its just become inseparable from me, the pain. I think it’s just like an arm, or a leg. You heal, but you’re not ever the same. And you never really forget what you lost.” 
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gleefulfan · 7 years ago
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Fic: A Neighborly Christmas
Part of Jalec Secret Santa 2017, for @inthequiver
Explicit, 6182 words
Summary: Alec wants to spend more time with his attractive neighbor Jace, but instead of asking him for a drink like a normal person, he invites him to Christmas Eve Dinner.
Ao3 Link
The elevator doors finally opened on Alec’s floor after stopping at practically every floor on the way up. Living on the 20th floor had its perks, most notably the amazing view, but the five minute elevator rides were not one of them.
Alec loosened his tie as he turned down the hallway towards his apartment. He couldn’t wait to get out of the suit and into something more comfortable. He really wished his law firm would implement casual Fridays, particularly when he spent the entire day in his office working on a brief anyway. But his firm was a way too uptight for that. At least with Christmas on Monday, he had three days off without worrying about work.
As Alec approached his door, he noticed a figure one door further down, seated as if he were waiting for someone. But it wasn’t a visitor, it was his neighbor. His ridiculously hot neighbor.
“Hey Jace, you alright?” Alec walked past his own door to where Jace was. When Alec had moved in a few months ago, Jace was one of the only people who had welcomed him to the building. Of course, when he’d walked up to Alec, Alec had promptly dropped the box of books he was carrying on his own feet, stunned by the gorgeous man in front of him. They’d become friendly since then, chatting whenever they saw each other, though Alec still hadn’t worked up the nerve to ask him for a drink.
“Hey Alec, yeah, I locked myself out.” Jace stood up to face Alec, wearing his usual workday attire of a white and blue checkered button down shirt and well-fitted jeans, which Alec was both jealous and appreciative of. “I called the manager, he said he’ll be up to open the door next chance he got.”
“It might take a while, the lobby and the elevators are experiencing the seven o’clock rush.”
Jace rolled his eyes. “Of course, on an evening where I actually have to be somewhere.” He pulled out his phone to check the time. “Clary’s going to kill me.”
“Who’s Clary?” Alec asked, mentally crossing his fingers that Clary was not a date or new girlfriend. In previous conversations, Alec had learned that Jace was bisexual and had broken up with his boyfriend about five months ago. But someone who looked like Jace didn’t stay single forever and certainly wasn’t going to wait around for Alec to get over his nerves.
“It’s kind of a long story,” Jace said, running his fingers through his hair. “But she’s basically like my adopted sister.”
Alec mentally fist-pumped. “So she’s coming to spend Christmas with you?”
“Yeah, we don’t really have much family left, it’s just me and her. She lives in Atlanta and I went down there last year, so she’s coming here this year. I’m supposed to meet her at the airport, but instead I’m waiting for the slowest building manager in the world to ride up the slowest elevator in the world.”
“If you want, I can pick up the key when he gets here and you can go ahead and go.”
“Thanks, but my metro card’s inside, sitting beside my keys.”
Alec pulled out his wallet and fished out his card, handing it to Jace. “Here, take mine. You can drop it off when you get back.”
Jace looked taken aback by the offer. “I can’t ask you to do that. You might need it and I might not be back for a while.”
“I’m not going anywhere. My only plans for tonight are to clean and get my apartment ready for my siblings tomorrow. Seriously, I know how I’d feel if they were in a strange city without me, just take it.”
Jace looked at the card for a moment and then up at Alec before finally accepting the card and sliding into his back pocket. Then he stepped forward and gave Alec a hug, which was over before Alec even realized what was happening.
“Thanks Alec, I really owe you one.”
“No problem,” Alec said, still reeling from the feeling of Jace’s body pressed up against his. Jace jogged off for the elevators and Alec eventually remembered to turn back to his old apartment and go inside. He left the door open so he could catch the manager whenever he managed to make it up here with Jace’s spare key.
***
Alec tried to focus on his lengthy to do list and not think about Jace’s hug from earlier or the fact that Alec would be seeing him again later tonight, however briefly. Beyond being gorgeous, Jace had been friendly towards him and they’d bonded over a shared love of the Knicks and obscure craft beers. Alec didn’t want to ruin a potential friendship by focusing on his silly crush.
He’d managed to clean the apartment and put up the Christmas decorations, minus the ornaments, which Izzy and Max would help with tomorrow, when he heard a knock on his door. He couldn’t help but glance in the mirror to make sure he didn’t look too disgusting in the old t-shirt and sweatpants he’d changed into before opening the door.
Jace was there with a big smile on his face along with a petite redhead that Alec assumed was Clary. He was holding Alec’s metrocard between his index and middle fingers. “Sorry man, it got late.”
“Don’t worry, come in, I’ve got your space key over here.” The two of them stepped inside and Alec walked over to the kitchen counter to grab Jace’s key.
“Wow, it’s like a winter wonderland in here,” Jace said, looking around at the lights and knick-knacks that Alec had put up around his apartment.
Alec started to blush. “My little brother’s only twelve and it’s his first Christmas away from our parents, so I wanted to make special for him.”
“That’s really nice of you,” Jace said, with such a genuine tone that it only made Alec blush harder. “This is so nice,” he added, walking over to a plastic snowman Alec had placed on the bookshelf and examining it intently.
“I’m Clary, by the way,” she said, offering her hand for Alec to shake, which he did. “He told me what happened. Thanks for saving my absent-minded brother from himself.”
“It wasn’t a big deal.” Jace kept wandering around the apartment, looking at various objects, both Christmas-related and otherwise. “Is he okay?” Alec asked.
“My fault, I made him stop for drinks since he was late picking me up. He gets weirdly interested in most random stuff after a couple drinks.” Alec had never seen Jace drunk before, and it was pretty amusing to watch Jace study every object Alec owned as if he were some kind of private investigator looking into a crime scene.
“It’s fine, I don’t have anything going on tonight anyway.”
Clary leaned against the kitchen counter and Alec followed suit as they watched Jace make his way around the room. “Jace said your siblings are coming up tomorrow, right?”
Alec was surprised Jace had remembered that and bothered to mention it to Clary. “Yeah, Izzy and Max. Our parents split up this year and my mom decided she had to go on some European retreat to find herself this winter, so I’m hosting Christmas this year.”
“The holidays can be tough when the family situation isn’t great, I know.” Clary’s tone reminded Alec of Jace’s comment about not having much family left.
“It’s just you and Jace, then? For the holidays?”
“Yeah, my mom died a couple years ago, that’s where we had gone to celebrate. But now it’s just me and him, so we’re still figuring things out.”
“I’m sorry,” Alec said, knowing it didn’t really help.
“It’s okay,” Clary said, with a sad smile. She looked over at Jace. “At least we’ve got each other. And you’ve got your siblings.” By that point Jace had completed his tour/examination and was back next to Clary.
“A-plus apartment, A-plus decorations,” Jace informed him. “Much better than mine, it’s a mess. I have like no decorations.”
“Glad to know I passed muster,” Alec said.
“You absolutely do,” Jace said, in a tone Alec couldn’t quite interpret, but made Alec start to blush nonetheless.
“We should get out of your hair,” Clary interjected. “I’m sure you’ve got a big weekend planned.” Alec knew that made sense, but he hated to see them go. He wanted to spend more time with Jace, and Clary too, even though he’d only known her a few minutes. And if they left now he probably wouldn’t see Clary again and who knows when he’d run into Jace next.
An insane idea popped into his head. If he’d thought about it for one second he’d have realized how out of character it was and stopped himself. But it was out of his mouth before that had a chance to happen. “Why don’t you guys come over on Christmas Eve?”
The surprise on Clary’s face was obvious and he realized how weird it must have sounded. But Jace seemed to be just drunk enough not to notice or not to care. “That sounds fun!” he said before looking to Clary. “What do you think?”
“Are you sure?” Clary asked. “We don’t want to impose. Would your siblings mind?”
“No, not at all!” Alec said, which fortunately had the added benefit of being true. Well, he was pretty sure they wouldn’t mind. Now that he thought about it, Izzy and Clary would probably get along fabulously. “Both of us are down people from past Christmases, it seems silly for you two to celebrate on your own on the other side of that wall,” Alec said, pointing to the wall he shared with Jace’s apartment. “I’m cooking, so they’ll be plenty of food.”
Now that he’d said it, Alec really needed them to accept. If they came, any weirdness would get smoothed over and everyone would probably have a decent time. But if they didn’t, Alec would never live down this weird rejected Christmas invite. He’d probably have to move just so he’d never have to see Jace ever again.
“If you’re sure,” Clary said, still giving him a bit of an odd look.
“I’m sure,” Alec said, he turned back to Jace to make sure he was still onboard. “So I’ll see you guys Sunday?”
“Yeah!” Jace said, still enthusiastic. “Clary is a terrible cook. Do you have any more decorations you’re going to put up?”
“On that note, we really are leaving,” Clary said, grabbing Jace’s arm and pulling him to the door.
Alec saw them out before closing the door and leaning back against it. He held his head in his hands in disbelief. What the hell had he just done?
***
By the time Izzy and Max were scheduled to arrive the next day, Alec had managed to convince himself that everything was going to work out fine. The important thing was that Jace had happily agreed to it, even if he had been a bit tipsy at the time. And as far as Clary, Izzy, and Max knew, he and Jace were actually friends and not just friendly neighbors.
Now he just had to run it past Izzy. She had picked up Max from board school upstate and they were both spending tonight and Christmas Eve here, even though she had a place in Brooklyn. Their mom had offered to fly Max out to Germany to spend Christmas with her, but he had wanted to be with his siblings and Alec was glad to have him. Their mother was not exactly in the best state right now, so he’d rather look after Max himself.
As he finished making up the bed, Alec heard the lock jiggle and his door open, which had to be Izzy. “Hello?” he heard her call out, followed by footsteps running in. Max soon appeared at the entrance to his bedroom.
“Merry Christmas!” Max yelled. Alec bent down to give the little guy a hug.
“Hey buddy, Merry Christmas. How was the train?”
“Boring. But I got to level 55 on my game.”
Alec held out his hand for a high-five. “Nice job!”
“Max, can you come put these presents out under the tree?” Max ran back out to the main room and Alec followed. Izzy smiled when she caught sight of him, pulling him into a big hug.
“I saw you like two weeks ago,” Alec said, nevertheless returning the hug.
“Shut up, it’s Christmas. You get extra hugs at Christmas.” The two of them sat down at the table while Max busied himself arranging the presents. “Your place looks amazing by the way, thanks for doing all this.”
“I just want Max to have a good Christmas, that’s the most important thing.” He and Izzy had long moved past any sort of idealized image of their parents, but Max was still a kid. He didn’t want their problems to infect what should be a joyous holiday.
“Well even though it’s just the three of us, we’ll still have a great time. Let’s be honest, it’ll probably be less drama than some years.” It was true, some of their past Christmases had sparked more than a few arguments, between mom and Izzy, between him and their dad, sometime between all four at once.
Given the opening Izzy had unwittingly given him about the number of people, Alec had to take it. He knew the sooner he bit this particular bullet, the better. The longer he waited the more suspicious Izzy would be. “Actually, how would you feel about having a couple other people over tomorrow?”
“For Christmas Eve? Who?”
Alec put on his most winning smile. “My neighbor Jace and his sister?”
The confusion on Izzy’s face was obvious. “Your neighbor?”
“He’s also a friend,” Alec added. “Kind of.” He was always terrible at lying to Izzy.
“I guess, I wouldn’t want to turn anyone away on Christmas, but do they really want to spend Christmas with a twelve year old they don’t know?”
“Well, they already said yes, so I guess they do,” Alec tried to sound as nonchalant as possible. Maybe this would be easier than he thought. “It’s not a big deal, I’ve already got plenty of food, and they were going to be right next door anyway.”
Mentioning that Jace was right next door was a mistake, as it caused something to click in Izzy’s mind. She stood up and dragged Alec towards his bedroom. “Max, turn on the TV if you get bored,” she called out before slamming the door behind them.
“What are you doing?” Alec asked.
Izzy responded by poking him repeatedly in the chest. “Hot. Neighbor. Guy. That’s who you invited.”
Alec grimaced. He’d forgotten he’d told Izzy about Jace when he’d first moved in. If only Jace weren’t so notably attractive then he wouldn’t be in this situation. “Well, yes, but it’s not like that.”
“Are you sleeping with him? Do you get a boyfriend and not tell me?” Alec should have known that being left out of the loop would upset Izzy more than anything else.
“No! Calm down, I promise it’s not like that.”
“Then what is it like? Because you know I am totally supportive of you getting laid, but this Christmas is supposed to be about Max.”
“I know, I know,” Alec said, sitting down on the bed. “It just sort of happened.”
Izzy sat down beside him, lightly bumping shoulders with him. “Why don’t you just tell me what happened?”
“Jace had borrowed my metrocard to go meet Clary, and so they came back last night to return it. He was a little drunk and wanted to look at the decorations and Clary and I ended up talking. Then they were getting ready to leave and I wanted to spend more time with them and it just kind of slipped out.”
“You wanted to spend more time with them, or with Jace?”
Sometimes Alec really hated that his sister knew him so well. “Clary was cool, and I think you’d like her. But yeah, I’ve been wanting to get to know Jace better.”
“And you pick Christmas Eve instead of a random Friday after work?”
“I’m sorry, I knew it was stupid as soon as I did it. But I couldn’t very well uninvite them, could I?”
Izzy thought for a moment and Alec was about to offer to go over and cancel on Jace and Clary, but she spoke up before he could. “Okay, here’s what we’ll do. We’ll have them over for dinner in the spirit of Christmas. It’ll be good for Max for us to be giving and generous. There will be no hanky-panky or sneaking off on your end. If something happens after Christmas, great, but this is a twelve-year old friendly, platonic holiday. Got it?”
Alec breathed a sigh of relief. “Of course. It’s not like I was going to drag him off to my bedroom while you two were in the next room anyway.” And he didn’t even know if Jace was interested in him. This would be an easy promise to keep.
“You say that now,” Izzy said with a smirk. She stood and reopened the bedroom door, calling out, “Who’s ready to decorate the tree?”
“Me, me, me!” Max called back.
***
Max didn’t care when Alec asked him if he was okay with a couple of new friends joining them on Christmas Eve. As long as there was plenty of food, which Alec assured him there would be, Max said the more the merrier. With that resolved, the next twenty-four hours were too busy for Alec to worry much about how the dinner would go.
Before he knew it, he was in the kitchen trying to keep track of five dishes at once while Izzy and Max cleaned up and set the table. Being occupied with the food was good, it kept him too busy to be nervous. Logically he knew there was no reason to be nervous; not only had he just invited Jace over as a friend, he had promised Izzy nothing else would be happening. But it was still an opportunity to get to know the man better.
A knock at the door came just as Alex was checking on the ham in the oven, so Max ran over to open the door with Izzy just a step behind. He heard the various greetings at the door and by the time he could turn away from the food, he found Jace standing at the entrance of the kitchen. He was wearing the softest green sweater Alec had ever seen and jeans tight enough that Alec had to remind himself to keep his hands at his side.
“We brought pie,” Jace said, showing off the apple pie in his hands. “It’s store bought, which trust me, is the best for all concerned.”
Alec pointed towards an empty spot on the counter. “You can just set it down there.”
Jace put the pie down where Alec had indicated, but lingered instead of rejoining the others in the living room. “Thanks again for inviting us. Sorry if I was weird on Friday.”
“Don’t worry about it,” Alec said, stirring the gravy. “I know it’s a little unusual, but I’m glad it worked out.”
“Is there anything I can do to help?”
Alec looked over at him with raised eyebrows. “Would that really be ‘best for all concerned’ as you put it?”
“I can do basic stuff,” Jace huffed.
Alec pointed towards the freezer. “There’s some crescent rolls in there, think you can handle that?”
Jace nodded. “That is exactly my level.”
***
Dinner was a success on pretty much every level. The food all turned out well, and Izzy and Clary did get on like gangbusters, just like Alec thought they would. They all did, really, and it felt like they’d known each other far longer than they actually had.
There were a couple of times Alec thought Jace might even be flirting with him, though they were over so quickly he couldn’t tell for sure. He’d never been any good at reading those signals and he was trying to keep to his promise to Izzy, so he put those ideas to the back of his mind.
Max was fascinated when Jace talked about jujutsu, which he had been taking for years and had just gotten his brown belt in. Alec was also fascinated by this, for very different reasons. Clary and Jace also told them the backstory about how Clary’s father had raised Jace after his parents had died and how Jace eventually came to live with Clary and her mom after Clary’s dad was sent to prison.
Alec talked about the pro bono work he was doing, because the cases he was paid to work on were incredibly boring. And Izzy managed to work in a few disgusting horror stories from the medical examiner’s office before she had to take a vow of silence until they were done eating.
After the pie was finished off, Jace and Clary were getting ready to head out when Max piped up. “Jace, why don’t you stay for a Christmas sleepover?”
Jace’s eyes got real wide in response and Alec quickly jumped in. “It’s not a real sleepover, we just all get into pajamas and watch Christmas movies until we’re about to fall asleep.”
“But what about Santa?” Clary asked. “Aren’t you worried you’ll still be awake when santa comes?”
“Don’t be silly, Santa isn’t real!” Max said.
Alec just shrugged. “He had it figured out when by the time he was six.”
“I’m not stupid.” Max said. “So will you stay? And Clary too!”
Clary and Jace looked at each other and then they both looked at Alec. Alec looked over at Izzy, not extending any more invitations without her okay. “You guys are totally welcome to hang out,” Izzy said.
“Okay, sure,” Clary said. “Why don’t we go change into pajamas and then come back?” The visual of Jace changing into nightclothes was an image he had to quickly get out of his mind.
“Yeah, we’ll do the same,” Alec said.
Jace and Clary left and once the door closed Izzy looked over to him. “Still no funny business, got it?”
“It wasn’t my idea!” Alec said.
“Funny business?” Max said with confusion in his voice.
“I just don’t want Alec playing any practical jokes on Jace,” she said towards Max, but with her eyes on Alec. “Even if Jace wants a practical joke played on him.”
“I won’t!” Alec said, but after a moment couldn’t help but add. “Why, did you notice something?”
Izzy just threw up her hands and said she was going to get changed. She had bought new Christmas pajamas for her and Max to wear. Alec opted for an old white t-shirt and sweatpants, which seemed like the best options under the circumstances. Once they had all changed, Alec set the television to play The Santa Clause and not soon after Jace and Clary were knocking on his door again.
Jace had on red and green flannel pajama pants and a gray sweatshirt, which Alec somehow found adorable and sexy at the same time. Clary had a matching set of pink silk pajamas, which Izzy fawned over. At Max’s insistence, they gathered themselves around the the television, with Max sitting on the floor and Izzy in the chair, leaving the couch for Alec and their two guests.
Clary took one corner and quickly brought her feet up under her, taking up more space and forcing Jace to move closer to Alec. He noticed Jace giving her a look but he moved down until their legs were pressed against each other. Alec had difficulty focusing on anything other than the heat and pressure from where they were touching, but tried to at least nominally watch the movie.
By the time the credits were rolling, Alec had pretty much been able to stop thinking about the current situation. “I think everyone else is asleep,” Jace whispered. Alec, whose mind had been occupied ‘not thinking’ about Jace, hadn’t even noticed, but it was true.
“Alec,” Jace said, still quiet, turning slightly towards him but not putting any distance between them. “Can I ask, why did you invite us over?”
“When you were leaving on Friday, I realized I didn’t know when I’d see you again, and I didn’t want that. Christmas Eve dinner was just the first thing that came to mind.”
“I’m glad you did.” Jace shifted his hand so that it was resting on Alec’s leg, just above the knee. Jace’s eyes flicked down to Alec’s lips and he knew what was about to happen. Alec covered Jace’s hand with his own, wanting desperately to kiss Jace right now but trying not to betray his promise to his sister.
“I really wish I could kiss you right now, but I practically made a blood oath to my sister not to, so she would agree to letting you come.”
A hint of a smile ghosted across Jace’s face. “More’s the pity.” He moved his hand away from Alec’s leg, but stayed pressed up beside him on the couch. “So if we can’t kiss, what can we do?”
“Another movie?”
***
Sometime during the second movie Izzy had woken up and carried Max to Alec’s bed. He was also pretty sure Clary went back to Jace’s apartment midway through the third movie but everything grew a little fuzzy as the hour grew late.
The next thing he knew, sunlight was streaming in the window and his back was not happy with the unusual sleeping position he’d ended up in. Alec was leaning back against the corner of the couch head lying on his own shoulder. He quickly realized Jace was still there with him and at some point his arm had ended up around the other man so that Jace could rest his head on Alec’s shoulder.
He looked down in wonder at the mess of blond hair just under his chin. He didn’t want to disturb Jace, but Alec’s back was practically screaming at him to move. He shifted a little straighter, and Jace started stirring beside him.
“What happened?” Jace mumbled, rubbing at his eyes, but not making a move away from Alec.
“I guess we fell asleep.” Despite the unusual situation, Alec couldn’t help but be pleased at Jace being the first thing he saw in the morning.
The sound of footsteps behind them, brought both of them to full wakefulness. “Where’s Clary? Did she go back?”
Izzy answered before Alec could say anything. “Yes, the rest of us slept in bed like normal people.”
Alec turned to see Izzy and Max already fully dressed to brave the outside temperatures. Izzy was trying to look annoyed but Alec had known her long enough to know when she was really pissed versus when she was just putting it on for show. “What’s going on?”
“Clary and I are taking Max ice skating. It seemed like the best idea for everyone.” Izzy was laying on the subtext thick at the end of that sentence.
Alec was 100% on board with what Izzy was implying but also genuinely did not want Max to feel like Alec was abandoning him or disappointing him. “Is that okay with you Max?”
“Totally, I love ice skating and Clary said she knows a bunch of cool tricks. And Izzy said you had to give Jace a boring adult present this morning anyway.”
“Izzy!” Alec could feel his face turning red with embarrassment as Jace ducked down into the couch cushion to muffle his laughter.
“What?” Izzy said, finger wagging. “I don’t want to hear it for you.”
Alec quickly backtracked, realizing that he shouldn’t look this gift horse in the mouth. “Okay, okay have fun ice skating!”
We’re coming back at noon and then we’re opening presents,” Izzy said. “Think you two can handle that?”
Alec and Jace both responded with quick yeses. Before they could fully process what had just happened, Izzy and Max were gone and they were alone again.
“Did our sisters just abandon us on Christmas so we could fool around?” Jace asked.
“Yes?” Alec responded tentatively.
“I’m totally okay with that.” Jace turned so that he was facing Alec on the couch and Alec shifted too, so that his back was against the side of the couch and his legs were stretched out on it. Jace was now on his knees, hovering above him.
“Hi,” Jace whispered, his face only inches away from Alec’s now.
“Hi.”
A moment later their lips met, softly at first and then slowly more insistent as Jace lowered the weight of his body onto Alec, pressing him further into the sofa. Jace’s kisses were electric and Alec couldn’t get enough. His arms came around Jace’s waist and pulled him flush against him.
The sweatpants and pajama pants they were wearing left nothing to the imagination and Alec quickly grew hard against Jace’s thigh, and felt the same from Jace against Alec’s stomach. Jace moved his hips, just slightly, and Alec couldn’t help but moan at the friction. He moved his hands further down, grabbing a hold of Jace’s ass and squeezing a cheek with each hand. That got a moan of his own out of Jace.
Jace pulled away slightly, both of them out of breath from the eager kisses. “Should we get more comfortable?” he said. With his lips red and swollen from the kissing and his hair all over the place, Jace looked positively debauched and Alec knew he was a goner.
He nodded in response, not trusting himself to form coherent words at the moment. Jace got off of him and stood up, his cock causing his pajama pants to tent obscenely. He reached out a hand and pulled Alec up and then two of them made their way to Alec’s bedroom.
Alec shut the door, just in case, and before they even reach the bed they were kissing again. They stopped only to pull each other’s shirts off, reveling in the feeling of skin on skin. Alec guided Jace onto the bed and then climbed on himself. He started kissing down’s Jace body, savoring every bit of golden skin on display. Jace’s hands found his hair and the ran through it as Alec moved from Jace’s neck down to his chest.
Alec paid attention to each nipple, licking and sucking and nipping at them, earning a gasp from Jace each time. He kissed down the curves of Jace’s stomach and the hip bone jutting out just above the waist. Alec took a hold of the top of Jace’s pants, looking up at Jace to make sure this was okay. Jace nodded slightly and Alec pulled them down and off. Jace looked as good without clothes as he did with them. Jace’s cock waved proudly in the air once free and Alec couldn’t wait to get his hands and mouth on it.
“You too,” Jace said in a low, guttural voice that went straight to Alec’s dick. He shoved off his sweatpants, watching Jace lick his lips at the sight before Alec returned to the bed.
Alec couldn’t wait any longer and went straight for Jace’s cock, grabbing it lightly and licking a stripe up the underside of it. His tongue swirled around the tip and then he lowered his mouth, taking in as much of it as he could in one go. Jace moaned again and jerked up in response, so Alec took hold of Jace’s hips and pressed them firmly into the bed.
Alec moved his mouth up and down, cheeks sucked in and tongue pressing against Jace’s cock. Jace was groaning and Alec looked up to see him pushing his hair out of his face, then Jace looked down to meet his eyes and it felt like a lightning bolt. Alec had to look away, too overwhelmed by the connection.
A minute later he felt Jace hand tugging at his shoulder. He pulled off and moved back up Jace’s body until they were face to face again. Jace gave him small, quick kiss and then asked, almost shyly, “Do you want to fuck me?”
“Yes!” Alec said, practically exploding with desire. “I mean, if that’s what you want.” Jace nodded and Alec reached over him to his bedside table, pulling out lube and a condom from the bedside drawer.
Jace shifted up the bed and spread his legs to give Alec access. Alec lubed up his fingers and then laid back down beside Jace. He shifted so he could keeping kissing Jace as he opened him up. The first finger slipped in easily and then after a few moments the second one did as well. Alec curved his fingers, searching, and was rewarded when Jace gasped and bit down on Alec’s lip.
Jace slid his hands up and down Alec’s body as Alec worked him open, tweaking Alec’s nipples and taking Alec’s cock in hand for a few strokes. After Alec had worked in a third finger and was moving them easily, he thought Jace was ready. He pulled his fingers out and Jace whimpered at the loss. “I’m going to fuck you now,” Alec whispered and Jace just nodded. They stared at each other as Alec rolled on the condom and lubed himself up.
Alec took just a moment to admire the stunningly gorgeous man in his bed, stroking his cock lightly, waiting to be taken by him. All those times, see him in the hallway, making small talk, and it was finally happening. It was practically a dream come to life.
Alec took a pillow and put it under Jace’s backside and pushed up Jace’s legs. He lined himself up with Jace’s hole, rubbing against it with the tip of his cock a few times before pushing in. There was a moment of resistance before the head slid in and Jace made a strangled noise in his throat. But Jace grabbed one of Alec’s hands with his own, entwining their fingers, which Alec took as a sign to continue.
Alec slid in slowly, inch by inch, until he was fully inside Jace. He leaned forward and kissed him again, giving Jace time to get used to his size. Jace squeezed his hand and Alec pulled out slightly and pushed back in once, and then again. Again and again he moved, thrusting just a little bit deeper each time. He quickly found a rhythm, fucking Jace in earnest but not roughly or harshly. Jace felt like heaven, tight and slick and hot.
Jace legs were on either side of him and found their around Alec’s waist, ankles crossed to press him in closer. Jace cock was trapped between them, rubbing up against the hair on Alec’s stomach with every thrust. Jace was whining now each time Alec pushed in, a quiet, high-pitched ‘unh’ that Alec loved hearing.
The excitement of their first time meant that Alec was not going to last as long as he normally would and he soon felt his orgasm coming. He held back as best he could, wanting to make sure this was as good for Jace as possible. He lifted his upper body upright, so he could grab hold of Jace’s cock. He jerked Jace off in time with thrusts, trying to press against that spot in Jace every time.
It didn’t take long at all. The noises Jace was making became louder and soon he was shooting all over both their chests. Alec felt Jace tighten around him as it happened and he followed Jace over the edge, totally lost in the pleasure of Jace’s body.
That was the best sex Alec had had in years, possibly ever. Despite this being their first time together, their bodies seem to know each other so well and know exactly what the other wanted. Alec wanted to collapse on top of Jace and fall back asleep, but he didn’t think that would be very gentlemanly. He pulled out of Jace carefully and disposed of the condom while Jace wiped off his stomach with some tissues.
Alec laid back down beside and put his arm around Jace, who snuggled close to Alec, entwining their legs and resting his head on Alec’s chest. “That was, uh, really great,” Alec said, not wanting to come off too excited.
“That’s an understatement,” Jace said, running his fingers idly through Alec’s chest hair. Alec couldn’t help but grin at Jace’s response, glad to know he’d enjoyed as much as Alec had.
Alec look at the alarm clock on his bedside table. “So we’ve got an hour and a half still before everyone’s back. What are you thinking?”
“30 minute nap, more sex, then clean up and get dressed.”
“Sounds perfect,” Alec said, reaching out to set the alarm to go off in a half-hour.
“Hey Alec,” Jace said, looking up at him. “Merry Christmas.”
“Merry Christmas, Jace.”
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carmelhq · 5 years ago
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NAME: Abexander Halloway
GENDER & SEXUAL IDENTITY: Cis-Male & Bisexual
CLIQUE: The Outsiders
KNOWN AS: The Psycho
GRADE: Junior
FACECLAIM: Herman Tømmeraas
( insouciant, macabre, instinctive & blithe, guile, abstruse )
BIOGRAPHY (tw: arson, kidnapping, paedophilia)
There had never been any plans for kids. His father was ready to start a family for years, but his mother didn’t want children. She refused. Years later, they finally agreed to it. The couple made their meticulous baby arrangements but the plans didn’t stay on course. Illnesses and a nasty fall had the woman bedridden in her last trimester. None of this was as worse, according to his mother, as when she’d found out she’d be having twins. She had never been fully on board with one baby, now she’d be having two. So she kept the news of twins hidden. When the pregnancy came to terms, she looked at her sons, picked out the healthier one, and let the other be taken. Plans for an adoption had been made months earlier. No one would ever find out her secret.
As a young child, the boy would live the usual life of a kid whose parents spent more time working than with their kid. At the time, his father had an executive position at a top technology company. His mother was an attorney. Both of them had busy schedules that kept them away from their child. They did, however, make it up to him during birthdays and Christmases. These holidays were used as an opportunity to give the boy the love and attention they had neglected to give the rest of the year. Nestled in the Los Altos, California family home, he had an au pair until he was six. At the age of six, his primary caretaker left for personal reasons and the boy was alone. Sure there was a nanny or two to feed him and make sure he was okay, but no one to spend time with him on a daily basis.
One of his biggest joys was when aunt Thana would visit the growing boy. Little by little, he began spending more time with this aunt. A member of the family who was unlike the rest of the clan; his aunt was an artist who lived on the central California coast town of Carmel. She designed art for many horror-genre literature. Through this aunt the boy was introduced to horror. His fascination only grew from there, immersing himself into anything horror-related. Aunt Thana became who the boy looked up to the most, and an actual parent. The boy would spend every summer vacation in the beach town. Through these visits he met the girl that would become his best friend; Laura.
Nine years old at the time, in the town of Carmel, the boy met Laura Gray. She was a homeschooled girl, the same age as him. A friendship quickly blossomed between the two. Long summer days were spent together, growing and learning from each other. Despite having similar personalities, their upbringing was very different. Laura was raised by a single mother, an author who wrote children’s books. The friends would soon become the inspiration to the author’s latest book series, ‘The Adventures of Jason and Lucille’. A story about two friends who worked together to overcome obstacles in their lives. A lot of which was based on the real life adventures of the two children. The short-lived book series became so popular, by the time the kids were eleven, that later books had a national book tour. The series lost popularity after another year or so, and eventually it died out completely.
By the time the two friends were thirteen, they were anything but innocent. Being teenagers, and living an affluent lifestyle, meant the two kids thought the world was at their disposal. They became part of scenes they were clearly too young for. They spent their weekends in the city without supervision. When Laura was fourteen, she began dating a man much older than her. No one, but her best friend, knew. Unfortunately, this wealthy and powerful man would become a danger to her. The girl was missing for five days before the boy decided to go to the police. He soon realized just how powerful this man was, after a crooked cop had sold him out and put his life in danger. His only option seemed to be to run away.
For months after the disappearance, the boy had found hard drugs as a way to escape. He had run away from home, found a place to hide out and stay safe. He had no intentions of ever speaking to, or of, the man responsible for his friend’s disappearance, again. He was full of guilt after what happened. There were many things the boy could have done to protect her but he didn’t. They both thought they were smart enough, but clearly they weren’t. Over those several months, he thought he had made a new life, with new people who shared the same habits. It took a couple of months, but eventually the teenage boy hit rock bottom and was taken to a rehab center.
He was finally able to grieve his best friend in a healthy manner, stop blaming himself, and quit his addiction. It wasn’t the easiest process, but one that really healed the teenager. Tragedy struck a couple months into his stay when the rehab center went up in flames. A couple of patients had been stuck inside, including the boy. They were believed dead, but eventually most managed to make it out with few injuries. Again, he had thought this rehab center was where he would start anew, but it wasn’t until he made it out of the fire that his new life really began. The boy would not be afraid of the past. In fact, he would forget all about it. The tragedy, the lifestyle, his parents, he didn’t need it. He would move in with aunt Thana. She had been all he needed for as long as he could remember. And that’s where Abexander wanted his new life to commence.
Abexander feels like he’s lived a full life, two even. So much loss, sacrifice, betrayal, and he has yet to earn a diploma. That’s what this “new life” is all about, though. It’s his second chance to be a regular teenage boy. Though he knows he will never be able to recuperate what he has lost, he is ready to begin developing this new chapter of his life. The first chapter of his life, he has to remind himself almost daily. He is never to look back at what he once had, who he once was, or all the places he’s been. He is now a full time Carmel resident, enrolled at Carmel High. Abexander’s never attended a public school in the past. But, as is the case with any situation, Abexander will make the best of it.
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trixiesdiary-blog1 · 7 years ago
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Life Update #001
Despite the fact that life is going really good right now I know things aren’t right with Katya, he probably thinks he’s doing really well at hiding it but I can read that man like a book. I know the signs of his anxiety and know things are getting to him but like always he isn’t talking to me about it. Honestly it’s getting frustrating, I might not be his sponsor or his therapist but in just over a month I’m going to be his husband. I feel helpless like I can’t do anything but watch him go through this and it fucking sucks. Being with someone who suffers with anxiety and struggles with substance abuse isn’t easy I’m not going to lie but I’m I knew it would be when I said yes to marrying him. I knew what I was getting into and I’m sticking around, I just wish he knew I was here for him and he would 100% let me in about it. He needs to stop ‘protecting’ me from it because it’s not helping either of us.
Christmas was amazing though, it was nice to have the family back after Thanksgiving (of course minus a few asshole members, if Katya’s uncle had come back with the same bullshit comments I wouldn’t have been able to hold back again.) We both needed the break and its always nice to see both sides of the family mingle so well and get along. Honestly it was one of the best Christmases I’ve had in awhile and the fact that it was the first one me and Katya shared as a solid, serious couple made it even more special.
New Year’s Eve was a different situation, it wasn’t bad per say but it didn’t end the way I had hoped. I haven’t drank that much for awhile, I got a little carried away and our poor downstairs toilet had to pay for my mistakes. Katya was amazing though, he has more patience than me that’s for sure. I still feel bad for ruining our night out and getting to the point where he had to look after me and clean up after me. I feel even more worse for the fact that he’s completely sober and I got absolutely wasted right in front of him. No doubt he was secretly cursing at me for getting to that level of drunk. Next year I’m going to make sure I won’t drink that much and we can actually enjoy bringing in the New Year together without me having to rush off to the bathrooms to throw it all back up. 
Now February 10th is a date I cannot wait for! Finally we have a date set for the wedding and it all feels so much more real now because of it. I’ve said it time and time again but I’ve always dreamed of one day marrying the love of my life, owning a home together and just being happy. Before Katya I had gotten to the stage where I was starting to doubt it would ever happen but I’ve been proven wrong. Holy fuck I’m marrying my best friend and the love of my life in just over a month’s time !!
The only thing that’s bothering me though is after the wedding both me and Katya are back to reality and busy with work. He’s got his tour coming up and I’m travelling around with my show again and who knows how much time we will actually get to spend together before the summer time when we can actually go on a honeymoon. It fucking sucks that we won’t be able to enjoy being newly weds for long before we’re separated and it’s going to be hard. Especially when I’ve gotten so use to seeing him everyday over the holidays, I’m not ready for the separation I’m not really and I don’t know how I’m going to cope with it. I’m gonna be worrying like crazy about how he’s going to cope with it and with the stress of the tour, I won’t be there to watch over him and that scares me. If he’s capable of relapsing when I’m with him then it’s not going to stop him when I’m not there. For now I just have to not think about that and just focus on the last preparations for the wedding.
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viralhottopics · 8 years ago
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We’re very close. We couldn’t not be: the secret to a friendly divorce
This month sees a spike in couples filing for divorce, many of them vowing to stay friends. But is it really possible or worth the pain?
A few weeks ago, a man came to stay at my house and he and I made so much noise at 1am that we feared we might wake the children. The next morning at breakfast, we had to explain ourselves and apologise.
The man was my ex-husband, and he was telling me an anecdote in the early hours that had us both in fits of laughter. We separated in January 2009, and divorced a year later. He has since remarried, and lives in another city, but often comes to visit our three teenage sons. We have spent several Christmases, Easters and birthdays together.
If liking and being nice to your former partner is the essence of Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martins conscious uncoupling, it could be said that my ex-husband and I are living that dream. In the three years since they announced their much-ridiculed approach to family life and relations post-marriage, the idea of the friendly divorce has become increasingly mainstream. As Helena Bonham Carter said of Tim Burton, her former husband of 13 years, I think well have something very precious still. Actor Kate Beckinsale is so friendly with her ex Michael Sheen (the father of their daughter) that shes often seen hanging out with him and his girlfriend, Sarah Silverman.
And then theres the rise of the divorce selfie, taken outside the courtroom, showing smug ex-marrieds beaming away together in the spirit of a bright future ahead of them (with a caption such as We smile not because its over but because it happened). January traditionally sees a spike in calls to family lawyers from couples wishing to uncouple. The first question for many is: can you really have a happy split?
Divorce coach Carol Sullivan thinks so. She runs Divorce Negotiator, which operates throughout England and Wales. Unlike solicitors who represent the separate parties, Sullivan assists both husband and wife and, to stop the escalation, maintains transparency between them. She claims to save a typical couple 80% of the cost of going to a solicitor, and 50% of their time. So far, she has helped more than 1,000 couples, many of whom apologise to each other and go out for drinks despite their decree nisi.
People are doing divorce differently that is, better, Sullivan says. They are more aware that the only winners are the lawyers, and bitterness and vengeance dont get anybody anywhere.
Of course, most people would say theyd like to divorce well, at least in theory, usually for the sake of any children involved. But, in practice, anger and hurt usually muddy the waters.
I am insufferably smug about what my ex-husband and I have managed to pull off, but I wont pretend it was instant. The parting of the ways was painful beyond anything I had ever experienced, but we managed to sort out our financial affairs and living arrangements ourselves. A lawyer friend kindly did the essential paperwork for both of us. We never went to court, and our whole divorce cost 90. Eight years have since passed, and time has done its cliched but excellent bit in terms of healing. Rancour has been and gone, leaving all the things we liked about each other in the first place: enjoyment of each others company, great communication, affection and respect. Plus all the things we have together accumulated over the years, namely three great boys, an important shared history and the recognition that prolonged bitterness eats away at people and benefits nobody.
Its difficult, but this approach is becoming more common. I have a friend whose husband went off with another woman. After her shock and anger subsided, she had him to stay with his new girlfriend several times, and even took coffee up to them in the morning. (Talk about forgiveness.) It was nice for the kids to see I was accepting of her with him, she tells me. I liked him. I liked her. She says she didnt indulge in any power play, at least not consciously.
The prevailing view is that good relations benefit the children, if you have them. Phyllis Maguire-Harrington, 33, is a carer and nursery manager. She sees many families who arent amicable, which has only compounded her belief that friendly divorce is vital even when she found out, three years into their marriage, that her husband had been unfaithful.
It hurt massively, she says now, but our daughter is my world. Even though I ended the marriage there and then, and never once wavered, I always spoke to him and let him see her. My daughter deserves both parents.
There was no court case. The same lawyer represented them both. It was all their own terms; he just did the paperwork. Her ex-husband has exactly the same parental rights as she does.
The couple, both from Wokingham, met at a bowling alley in their early 20s. Kieran Harrington, 35, remembers that she started dancing and I thought, wow! He found her generous, with a lot of time for others. Phyllis says she is very energetic, while Kieran was very chilled and happy to go along with anything she threw at him. They married in 2008 and separated in 2011, when their daughter was a year old.
To be brutally honest, I cheated on her, Kieran says. Its one of those things I cant explain. It was nothing she ever did or didnt do. When she found out, she went ballistic. Id never seen her like that. I deserved it. I tried to get her back, but eventually knew it was hopeless.
It was complicated, Phyllis says, because in September 2007 he had a brain haemorrhage and that altered him. Kieran says that, although he doesnt remember being tempted before the brain haemorrhage, it is nonetheless too easy an excuse. Either way, he says, the two flings with colleagues were a huge mistake. Initially, he says, there was some nastiness from Phyllis, but then it went away.
For a long time I wanted him to be my Kieran, Phyllis says, but he had changed. After the brain haemorrhage, I became more like a carer. I knew he was no longer fully in control of himself, and a psychologist told us he was never going to change. I had a baby and couldnt live like that any more, the suspicious wife.
The divorce came through in December 2014 and Kieran, a prison custody officer, now lives with his father and sister. He and Phyllis still see each other most days, and go on holiday together. They took Erin, now five, to Disneyland Paris for new year and glamping in Cornwall. Neither has another partner.
I did for a while, Phyllis says, and he and Kieran accepted each other, but he wanted to get married and I didnt. I think Kieran put me off for life, she laughs.
These days, Kieran confides in Phyllis about dates and she gives him advice. He admits hed like to get back together with her, but knows thats never going to happen; he also knows that it could all have been very different had Phyllis not been so forgiving. I could have lost a lot more, he says. As it is, the friendship we have having a laugh, watching movies together, sharing a bottle of wine when the little one is asleep is the best I can hope for, given Id still like to be married to her. Ill be a little bit jealous when shes with someone else, but I messed up, so I havent a leg to stand on. Im grateful Ive got this much and know we will be friends for life.
Phyllis agrees: Were very close. We couldnt not be, after all weve been through. But the divorce was the right decision. Would I get back with him? Never. Hes not the man I fell in love with.
***
Specialist family lawyer Peter Martin has been practising at London firm OGR Stock Denton for 40 years, and has worked with thousands of couples. In his experience, roughly 25-30% of couples are able to be friends afterwards, and its not always to protect the children. In some ways, it is easier for couples without children to stay friends, Martin says. Once the finances are sorted out, they are able to get on with their lives. They can become friends again, because they no longer have any pressures on them.
On the other hand, Martin says, couples without children have less reason to stay in touch. Those with children have to continue to communicate, and they are more likely, because of that, to rebuild a friendship. A forced friendship, because of having children, often develops in time into the real thing. Its the sort of thing I see a lot Im thinking of the first dance of a divorced couple as parents at their childs wedding.
Barry Rutter, 69, an actor, is founder and artistic director of Northern Broadsides, a touring company. He credits his ex-wife, Carol, 65, a professor of Shakespeare and performance studies at the University of Warwick, with their excellent relationship after nearly 20 years of marriage and 20 years of divorce. She credits him with not forcing her and their girls out of their home. You can be vengeful and angry and selfish and do all that stuff, Carol says. All those ugly emotions you can keep up for years, but thats just destructive.
The couple met while Barry was on tour in America in 1976. She, with her Californian chutzpah, came backstage to congratulate me, he says.
He had the tight curls of a Raphael angel and a boxers nose, she says. He was bolshie, challenging: a Yorkshireman. Everything around him was different and new.
She moved to England a year later, and they soon married. Their shared passion meant they always had things to talk about. Briony was born in 1982; their son, Harry, two years later, but he died from cot death aged just 98 days. Barrys support in the aftermath made Carol feel an overwhelming sense that our marriage could survive; how amazing it was that he could love me that much.
When he set up his own company, Barry was working so hard, Carol says, I think he started kind of shifting. Rowan, their younger daughter, was four. Carol had a full-time job at the university and Barry came home wanting shiny faces. There was a gap. It was, Barry says, a build-up of events, which I took to be a diminution between us. And my own restlessness. The cliche: the grass is always greener. The official divorce says adultery, but it is never as simple as that. I didnt fall in love, but I was distracted.
Barry says it was raw. I remember we met in the garden shed and she asked what I wanted, and I said all of my freedom to roam, and yet the home and family. It was a stupid, macho, dumb attitude to have. It was my folly. You make choices, and choices can bite.
How did I come back from that? Carol says. I went to see a divorce person who said dont fight, its not worth it; work it out between you. I was able to keep the man separate from the actor and, little by little, the birth of our three children, the death of our son, those things you shared, count. They represent the real core values of you two as people, as against the accidents of making bad decisions.
Barry says it was entirely Carols leading that set them on the footing they are on today. Its got to be about the future: I remember her saying that. I myself didnt have it in me to come up with anything like that. Its a testament to her. Id hope she is my best friend. Shes kept the name [Rutter]. Ive always been rather pleased about that.
These days, their daughters are both married, and they still see each other at least once a month and speak often. Carol goes to watch her ex-husband perform. She says he is perhaps better at expressing his emotions on stage, but he always made her laugh off it, and always will.
Tara Saglio has been a couples and individual psychotherapist for two decades. She believes that most divorced couples have to experience a period of proper separation before they can actively be friends again. As a generalisation, I think it takes five years for people to settle post-divorce, she says. It helps if both parties have reached a point where they can feel equally content, instead of one being miserable and the other blissfully loved-up with a new partner or even of one being blissfully alone and the other in a less than ideal rebound relationship. The chance of friendship depends on the emotional maturity of both parties. In my experience, Saglio adds, it is usually the couples for whom the passion has dwindled or gone, and who dont feel so betrayed or rejected, who can be friends. Sexual rejection or broken trust can skewer things.
Facebook, Instagram and so on can make it harder for couples to move on. Of course, social media always presents a happy if not idealised picture of everyones lives, Saglio says. It is hard to separate fully while having ones nose rubbed in the exs new life. On the upside, technology can be a force for good, depending on how it is used. It makes continued contact quicker and easier. A text or email is more emotionally distant than a face-to-face or phone conversation. A bit of a barrier can be a good thing.
Resolution is an organisation of family law professionals that promotes nonconfrontational divorce settlements. Nigel Shepherd, its national chair, says that avoiding unnecessary argument demands a shift of perspective: By nonconfrontational, we mean focusing on what is required for the future, as opposed to getting stuck in what happened in the past. A Resolution survey found that 90% of cases settle without a judge.
Current divorce law doesnt exactly help people to remain friendly: unless former couples are prepared to wait for two years once they have separated, they have no option but to cite adultery, unreasonable behaviour or (admittedly rarely) desertion on the paperwork. Resolution believes that a couple should be allowed to divorce simply if they think the marriage has broken down, a so-called no-fault divorce, and are lobbying for change. The current process, which pushes the majority into blame, often against their will, can really put the spanner in the works, Shepherd says.
***
Businesswoman Sarah Bevan never lost sight of the fact that she wanted to retain her friendship with her husband, Tim, despite her deep sadness when their marriage came to an end. We were originally friends, and I wanted very strongly to maintain that for the greater good of our family, she says. We always had a lot of fun and we managed to retain that.
Sarah, who is now single and in her 40s, lives in south London, and is setting up her own company. Tim, 50, the MD of a packaging and design company, lives in Hove. The pair met at work in London and married in 1994. They have three teenage children. The friendship was overriding in the relationship, Tim says. Any other issues were put to one side. Thats what carried us. But then I started to do better in my career, which made me more confident and, when other possibilities presented themselves, I was weak enough to succumb.
It was 2004. He admitted he was having an affair (not his first); they finally parted in 2005 and divorced in 2011. Tim says he walked away with two pictures, a stereo and a pink tea towel.
There were no lawyers, and nothing on paper; money was divided according to their own agreement. The divorce cost 560. Rather than argue in court, he wanted Sarah and the children to have a home and security. He credits their friendship today to his ex-wifes openness and strength, and thinks they have both pulled off something pretty extraordinary. According to Tim, both realise they are not going to be jumping into bed with each other again, but hopes theyll be best friends for life.
Shes currently offering me advice on cholesterol, he laughs. Shes still got my back! It helped that neither of them slagged each other off to the children. The family has a group chat online most days and he visits them every Tuesday for a curry evening.
There were phases of extreme anger and massive hurt, Sarah says, but even though hes certainly a difficult character, I love him and we hug and say we love each other. He remains an important part of her life, all the more so because her parents died recently in tragic circumstances. As Tim says, that focused everyone on whats important.
Despite everything weve put each other through, Tim says, weve come out of it. We will be sitting in our deckchairs in 30 years time with our mint tea, looking at the children, and thinking, Weve done good.
How to divorce well
1. Slow down. Reactive decisions are usually bad ones; if you are feeling hurt, or have just discovered your partner with someone else, dont take any legal action until the red mist has gone.
2. Try to be rational. Going through a separation is highly emotional, but try to put that to one side and sit down with a neutral party with the aim of making sensible decisions. Remember that you loved the other person once.
3. Decide on your priorities. More often than not one of the biggest goals is to move on with your life with your dignity intact. The more amicable the divorce, the quicker it will be over, leaving you to get on with the next chapter of your life. It is also a lot cheaper.
4. Go to a good family lawyer. Find a family specialist committed to working out solutions as amicably as possible and in a way that will preserve your relationship with your spouse.
5. Expect a big change in your lifestyle. Your life is going to change dramatically; being shocked by this can often lead to resentment and breed conflict. Your partners life will be changing, too, and they will have the same problems adjusting as you are. Yes, really.
6. Dont do it the celebrity way. You dont have to fight dirty to get the best result in fact, judges will frown upon it when making their settlement.
7. Dont listen to your friends. Turn to them for emotional support but remember that every marriage is different and every divorce is different. Just because friends think it is a good idea, doesnt mean it is.
8. Be the bigger person. Even if your nearly ex is trying to play dirty, dont rise to the bait. It is easier said than done, but I often hear from people who, years later, regret that they allowed themselves to be brought down to that level.
9. Think about divorce before you get married. What will your situation be if things dont work out? Consider how your partner is likely to behave in those circumstances as well. Think about a prenuptial agreement realism does not have to be anti-romantic.
10. If you have children, be nice for their sake. It is only in the most exceptional circumstances that it is not in the childrens interests for their parents to remain friendly.
Peter Martin, family lawyer, OGR Stock Denton
Read more: http://ift.tt/2jaHCUt
from We’re very close. We couldn’t not be: the secret to a friendly divorce
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