#shane's sad farmer girlfriend

[ursulanoodles]

This was really fun!

[sdv-confessions]

I heard that there was a Clint hate fest going on, and I ran as fast as I could. I have an essay to write about this man.

Frankly, Clint is an unsympathetic and bad character. He doesn't have the personality or nuance of most other stardew characters, and the few personality traits he does have don't work to make him sympathetic. If his personality or storyline was tweaked slightly, I can see him working as a sort of Harvey/Shane hybrid, but as it stands, he's just boring and offputting.

to begin with: clint is a flat character. He essentially has two character traits--- blacksmithing and wanting Emily. The problem isn't that he's a lonely social outcast---the problem is that he's *only* a lonely social outcast. The two characters most similar to him (Harvey and Shane) both are lonely, yes, but they also have their own interests and hobbies. Harvey's interested in aviation, Shane likes chickens. These are character traits shown to us through heart events, dialogue, and environmental storytelling. They are not just "lonely doctor" or "lonely retail worker." They have depth beyond their job and struggles.

Clint, on the other hand, is almost laughably flat. I scoured his page on the stardew wiki, and the ONLY piece of other characterization I could find for him is that he, apparently, might like blues music. We know this because of one (1) tape found in his room. That is IT. literally EVERYTHING ELSE we get from Clint are related to a) his job, b) his depression, or c) his desire for a woman. That’s literally it.

Further, he does not develop throughout the game. He begins his story being a sad and lonely blacksmith who wants Emily. He ends his story being a sad and lonely blacksmith who wants Emily. Unlike, say, George (another initially unlikeable character) Clint doesn’t grow or develop as a character. He never gets over his feelings for Emily, and he never really does anything about it either. He’s a static character who never does anything but bitch about his life.

Speaking of bitching about his life, we need to talk about that, as this is one of the only real personality trait we can draw from his dialogue. If you take a cursory scroll through his dialogue on the wiki, it’s truly astonishing how much of his dialogue is just whining about his life. For a taste:

*“Damn it, I'm too old to do anything exciting anymore. All I have to look forward to is years and years of sweaty, hot furnace-work.”*

“Maybe I can find a girlfriend on the 'internet'... What? Don't judge me! Not everyone is a cool, attractive, socially-adept farmer, you know! What's a guy like me supposed to do? *Groan*”

“I feel bad admitting it, but sometimes I wish there was a real disaster, not just some dumb green rain. Something to shake everything up, you know? Not that I want people to get hurt... I just want to feel alive... To feel like I have a purpose...”

When we combine these two traits (passive, inactive character + complaining about life constantly) we end up with a character which comes off as completely unsympathetic. He seems like a whiny, self-pitying man who, despite his seeming dissatisfaction with his life, never seems to really do anything to change it. He sees himself as a perpetual victim, and spends most of his time feeling sorry for himself.

This isn’t even addressing his view of women and relationships, which seem to be pulled straight from the comments on an incel video. His attitude towards women has been discussed at length elsewhere, and I trust I don’t need to address it. Even without the misogyny and incel rhetoric, however, I believe Clint still fundamentally fails as a character. He is flat, static, and unsympathetic, and he deserves the hate he gets.

anyway thanks for coming to my ted talk

.

[studentinpursuitofclouds]

Hey Mousy!

I was thinking about how reckless the farmer can be, you know, fighting monsters, overworking to maintain a farm, and even being a guinea pig for others.

But despite all that, the farmer stays alive (CofcofPoweroftheScrollandMr.Qicofcof)

But, how do you think the villagers would react to the news of the farmer's death?

Oh, pain... 🥲 Thank you for ask, Shiro 🫶

_________________________________________

It was rare to catch a conversation between Marlon and Lewis, but the old adventurer had come to the town mayor's home... with tragic news. Marlon himself was as gloomy as a dark cloud. The news he brought had shocked the equally old Pelican Town Mayor.

They're.... dead? In the mines?

Merciful Yoba.... But, they came here as farmer, why did they have to go into the most dangerous place?...

The next ones to be shocked were Dr. Harvey, who stated Farmer's official death, and Maru, who was helping him. The young inventor gasped in horror: seeing Farmer's body had made her sick, so Harvey had to do almost everything himself. All this was late at night, and just the next day in the afternoon, Maru was to meet her girlfriends at Haley and Emily's house to discuss various gossip. And Maru (unfortunately), also got some news.....

All the girls gasped after hearing this, Penny even dropped her tea cup from shock. Abigail turned even paler, because just yesterday she had begged Farmer to take her to the mines, but Farmer had politely refused her. Perhaps, because of this, they had saved her from death...

Pelican Town is a small town, and news of the death spread like the plague. Caroline and Pierre learned everything from their daughter, truly regretting the death of the young farmer. And even though Pierre was not close to them and for him it is, in fact, just the loss of another client, he does not wish anyone such a terrible fate, to die young, alone...

Gus didn't turn on the music machine in the Saloon, also giving himself over to mourning the loss of a member of their commune. Let the others not be fooled by the rather stale reaction of Shane, Alex, and George in calling the farmer a fool. They just don't know how to react to the loss of a loved one again.

It would seem that Clint couldn't have gotten any sadder than his usual state, but when the only person he considered a true friend dies... It's painful.

It's pain for Robin to construct a gravestone instead of useful buildings for farming. Sebastian, along with Abby and Sam shut themselves in his room in the basement, trying to hide from the pain that way. Vincent didn't understand at first why his parents sat sad, but Jas immediately realized why Aunt Marnie's eyes were red. She understood why Uncle Willy had taken off his hat as he saluted the dead farmer.

Everyone was at the funeral, mourning the young farmer. As dusk descended on the Valley, no one noticed several figures standing near the fresh grave. No one saw how Marlon placed their sword beside the grave, how Rasmodius made the flowers beside the grave grow, decorating it with a single movement of his hand. And how quietly Linus stood, whispering a farewell to the young soul who had not been afraid to go into danger to protect the people of Stardew Valley.

[ddaz3d-and-cc0nfused]

𝐃𝐀𝐘 𝐄𝐋𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍: Brat Taming w/ Maggie Greene

a/n: i apologize for being so behind on kinktober, but here's this to make up for it because i've been obsessed with maggie lately.

masterlist | kinktober masterlist | AO3

Yes, you had to admit that you were being a dick.

I mean c'mon, who wouldn't be? This random guy shows up and all of a sudden he's all over her? It's not that you didn't like Glenn, but you most definitely did not appreciate the googly eyes he was making at your girlfriend, practically hanging off of everything she said, even having the audacity to act flustered around her as if she had asked him to have sex with her or something.

Okay, yeah, no one knew about your relationship, but who could blame the both of you? Maggie grew up in a religious family, as well as her father being one word away from popping his top due to the new arrivals, especially because of Shane. When the world had ended, you were staying the night at her house under the ruse that you hadn't had a “girl's night” with each other in ages, aka the woman was horny and pretty much booty called you. That was when you hadn't put a label on anything yet, Maggie being the hesitant one.

As you spent time taking care of her relatives and close friends that were quickly getting infected, almost all of them being led to the barn with each passing day, she realized that life was now truly too short to be afraid. Maybe that's why you were acting this way, because the relationship was still fresh, internally scared that she'd hop on the first train to a having heterosexual relationship. The sad part was that you'd let her if that was what would make her happy.

You had been giving her an attitude for the last couple of days, constantly shooting dirty looks at Glenn when he was around her, where you knew she could see you. The farm had been so busy lately, with the newcomers and finally having an extra sets of hands. You stayed behind as the men went out; doing the laundry, catering to the farm animals as well as preparing a hearty meal for everyone when they get back.

Trudging upstairs, you headed straight for the bathroom as you stripped naked, allowing the natural air of the vintage house to cool you off as you grabbed a rag, dipping it in a bucket of water so you could scrub yourself down. You wiped the dirt and grime off of your body, the chilly water cooling your pores as you finally were able to recognize yourself.

You jumped as the door opened, your eyes meeting Maggie's as she shut it behind you.

“Get out.” You said coldly, even though you wanted nothing more than to bury your face in her shoulder and deeply inhale her scent. “No.” She said darkly, twisting the lock. She walked up from behind you, placing her hands on your hips, the softness of your naked flesh contradicted the calluses on her palms. She really was the farmer's daughter.

“You've been ignorin’ me.” She drawled in your ear, pressing her clothed lower half to your ass, the denim scratching at your skin. A shiver ran up your spine as her breath hit the shell of your ear. “And you've been real mean to Glenn.” You just shrugged. Nervousness twisted in your gut as you tried to keep a steady face. “Oh, you don't care?” Her eyes grew dark as she asked, her grip growing tighter, pushing you back against her as you kept yourself balanced by placing your hands on the sink.

“No, I don't.” You said, pressing your lips together as she let you grind onto her crotch. The barely there friction was enough to cause you to whimper, head falling back as you indulged in her touches. Your eyes fell closed, a hand landing on your ass, gripping the irritated skin as she watched your reaction through the mirror.

“I don't think that you don't care. I just that think you're just been all pent up, ain't been touched in a while,” She placed a kiss on your shoulder, “My poor girl.” She cooed condescendingly. “I thought,” You breathed as she allowed you to grind against her once more. “I thought you wanted Glenn. 'Was jealous.” You confessed, tears springing in your eyes as the words left you.

She paused.

“Don't you ever say I'd want anyone but you.”

Turning you around, she slammed her lips on yours, invading your mouth with her tongue. Her hand caressed the fat of your body; from your shoulders, down to your breasts where she gently squeezed, twisting your nipples between her fingers, then tracing the stretch marks on your large stomach, allowing her fingertips to trail down your torso before finally touching you where needed her most. She traced your weeping slit, your body shaking in anticipation as she easily inserted two of her fingers into you, a gasp escaping your lips and falling onto her tongue.

“I don't know when they'll be back, so you gotta stay quiet okay?” You nodded as she worked her fingers in and out of you, the only thing audible was your ragged breathing and your wetness, which was dripping down your inner thighs. “Maggie…” You whimpered, hands clawing at her shoulders. “My pretty girl. 'Always ready for me too touch you.” Her thumb drew circles on your clit. “All you wanted was my attention, but you didn't have to be a brat—” Her free hand surprisingly tangled in your sweaty locks, tugging your head back to expose your neck to her.

“To get it.” She finished.

You writhed in her dominant hold, squirming as you drew closer to your release. Her lips hovered over the most sensitive spot on your neck before placing a kiss there. “If no one asked questions, I would’a marked you up purple and blue.” You clenched down on her fingers at the confession. “You close?” And you nodded, holding back as cry as she skillfully massaged your g-spot. For you being the only woman she had ever been with, she knew a lot about what to do.

“Can I cum, please?” You begged, knees growing weak and your mind fogging, practically pleading to let go to. “Will you be nicer to Glenn if I do?” You vigorously nodded, “Yes, yes, I will!” She placed a kiss on your lips. “Then cum.” She spoke against them, and that coil in your stomach snapped, your body arching into her as you came all over her fingers.

Let's just say Glenn had noticed the difference later that day.

ೃ⁀➷ my lovely taglist!: @alina02

[foolsiwillshowthemall]

Farm Report:  Beloved at the Flower Dance

A year ago, I came to Stardew Valley a stranger, determined to make my home here but barely knowing anyone in the community.  By the time of my first Flower Dance, I had become acquaintances with a few of the locals - Pam, Abigail, and Shane in particular - but when I asked them to dance, they turned me down.  (Well, Abigail and Shane did.  Pam wasn't dancing in the first place).  I had to watch from the side as everyone else danced.

But today?  Today I have six girlfriends and four boyfriends.  And even the two bachelors who aren't my boyfriends would dance if I asked them to.  Today, I am the beloved farmer.

Yes, Jodi. I believe I will be dancing today.  Laugh all you want.

This is very much an intended game mechanic.  It is difficult to get a dance partner at the first year's Flower Dance.  You have to know exactly what to do, focus on your target dance partner, talk to them every day and give them exactly the right gifts from the first week of the game.  It's not something that a player is likely to do on their first playthrough (unless they've massively spoiled themselves with walkthroughs and strategy guides), so it's almost inevitable that someone playing the game for their first year will experience being rejected by everyone and sitting the dance out.  But it's also not hard to get to a high enough friendship level to dance with someone over the course of the year, so unless you're completely avoiding social contact you're highly likely to have someone to dance with the next year around.

It's probably not intended gameplay for a player to romance everyone, or nearly everyone, as I have.  The expected path is to focus on one or a small number of dates and then marry one when you get to ten hearts.  But, this is an open-ended sandbox game, and if someone wants to make everyone in town love them (as I mostly have), that path is open.

It hasn't been easy.  I've done a tremendous amount of gifting that I haven't shown here.  I have a big Google Doc of each villager's loved and liked gifts, schedule and birthdays, with notes on which fruits, flowers, gems, cooked foods, or other items to keep an eye out for and save because someone would like them as a gift, that I keep open on my iPad while I’m playing on the PC.  Elliott was one of the last people I romanced because his most loved gifts are exotic and hard to get in the early game.  Sebastian is a damn recluse who is never around when I want to give him a gift, and Leah is easy to get gifts for but most of her cutscenes are locked to not occur during the winter.  But I digress.

I didn't originally set out to romance everyone when I started playing.  My original plan was to simply romance and marry Abigail straight away.  But then I saw it was Shane's birthday, and he seemed so sad, so I bought him a pizza, which triggered the late-night chat on the dock scene, and I was hooked.  And it snowballed from there, as I met and fell in love with each of the NPCs in turn.  Each of the NPCs other than Sam and Alex, that is.  I am starting to warm to Sam a little and will probably pursue him up to 8 hearts, but Alex is just completely repellent and every interaction with him makes me never want to talk to him again.

The attitude of everyone in town has changed to me.  Instead of rude brush-offs or polite forced conversation, people are actually glad to see me and greet me warmly.  I get regular gifts and recipes sent to me in the mail.  Robin has given me a standing invitation to drop by her place any time I need company, not just when I want a building upgrade.  Even grumpy old George has warmed up to me.  The improved social standings with everyone is woven into all the NPC dialog.  It's quite welcoming, and this town has come to feel like a home to me.

I have slain many a red jelly in the mines, Emily.  Oh, you meant the gelatin dessert here.  Yeah.  I'll get around to trying that once I've said hello to everyone.

Schrodinger's dance partner, dude.  She both will and won't until you ask her, but you will leave that waveform un-collapsed forever because you're a complete coward.

Even Sam has warmed up enough to me to admit to liking something girly.

Alex, on the other hand, is still openly ogling Haley.  This dialog doesn't change even if you have already married her at this point.  Dude.  That could have been my wife there, and even if she's not, she's still a person and should be treated as more than just a piece of 'scenery'.

I could, at this point, ask any of the twelve bachelors and bachelorettes to dance, and they would say yes.

But really, there's never been any doubt as to who I would ask.  I've dated nearly everyone else, and Abigail is still the best choice.

D'awwww.   She loves me, she really does.

I don't care that I look completely out of place, not properly dressed for this, or that my moves are jerky and don't match the music.  I feel a little bad for Sebastian who has to watch from the side, and I know that Abigail hates the stupid white dress they put her in, but mostly, I'm just enjoying this moment.  This festival marks me being truly and fully accepted into this community as one of them.

That was fun.  Now, I need to set my priorities for the rest of the game.

I'm still sticking to my planned schedule of proposing to Abigail on her birthday.  I need to make a lot of money and gather a lot of resources first, however.  My beloved deserves a proper palace to live in, not the cluttered two-room cabin I have now.  I'm going to have to upgrade it several steps, and take steps to ensure that she will always have a supply of her most favorite things in life.

I also have the ghost of my dead grandpa watching over my shoulder.  He will return to judge me in less than a year, and I have a lot to accomplish if I'm going to gain his approval.  I need to finish restoring the community center.  I need to get married and upgrade my house.  I need to make it to the bottom of the mines.  And I need to make a lot more money.  Yeah, Grandpa likes that everyone in town loves me, but making a million gold will impress him even more.

The spirits see me winning, and they do not approve.  I had been hoping to visit the mines today, but they will be very dangerous if I do.

The second harvest of strawberries is ready, and the second crop of cauliflower is nearly done.  I've also started running the charcoal kiln all day, since I have a surplus of wood right now after a few days of clear-cutting forest, and I'm using that charcoal to refine all the ore I have.  I need to make more sprinklers and more kegs.

54 strawberries, 21 of them gold star quality.  I'll sell about half of them for immediate money, and keep the rest for making into Strawberry Wine.

The farmhouse upgrades require a lot of hardwood, so I'm taking daily trips to the Secret Woods.  I didn't realize until now that there was this hidden lower part of the woods with two more tree stumps in it.

I ended up braving the mines after all.  Dangerous, but I need the gold ore, and rather than try to fight through I just switched to a strategy of running in, grabbing the ore that was close to the entrance, and then fleeing for the exit before the big monsters showed up.

Friday the 26th, and the giant cauliflower has matured.  This is why I kept the cauliflower in a separate side pen that I watered manually.  You need an unbroken 3x3 array of crops to have a chance for a giant crop like this, and the larger the area the greater the chance of getting one.  And with the level of sprinklers I have, there's no way to have a 3x3 or larger solid area that's automatically watered.

The last batch of potatoes is also ready.  This will be a profitable day.

I'll be leaving the cauliflower pen and the strips where the potatoes were bare for the rest of the season.  There's not time to plant anything else and harvest it before summer.   That means that much of this space will go un-tilled, and the fertilizer will be lost, but there's not much to do about that.

The spirits are displeased again on the 26th, so once again I use the strategy of running in, grabbing what ore and gems I can, and then fleeing before monsters arrive.  Normally I'd just hold off until a luckier day, but I want to try and get as much gold as I can before Summer to build more sprinklers with.

On the 27th, my hens granted me two 'Large Eggs'.  These are something that chickens do when they're really happy.  These sell for more than regular eggs, and are also required for one of the harder to fill community center bundles.

Seventeen kegs, brewing cherry and strawberry wine.  I'd like to build more, but I need to wait for my oak tree taps to produce resin.

Emily, are you actually inviting me to feel you up?  Actually, this is Emily, I shouldn't be surprised.  She's always been this forward.  A bit surprised that she's doing this at work, though.  Most of the other marriage candidates have different dialog while they're at work - Maru tells you not to let the doctor see you doing this while she's on the job, and Shane pretty much won't talk to you while he's working at JojaMart, but Emily is happy to flirt while standing right behind her boss at the saloon.  That's my freaky blue-haired gal.  Sometimes I really wish this game would let you marry more than one person at a time.

[foolsiwillshowthemall]

Farm Report: The beautiful novelist

Wednesday the 17th of spring.  It's another beautiful spring day.  The strawberries and cauliflowers I just planted are growing nicely.

The farm won't take much attention from me today, so after watering the cauliflowers I'll be off to spend time with my friends and do things around town.

I check with the Fortune Teller to see what today will be like.  The Spirits are determined to make today suck.  Well, screw you, spirits.  Today, I will make my own luck.

I'll start with a lovely lunchtime picnic with Leah.  She set the whole thing up, some lovely food she's cooked and a bottle of my winter crystal fruit wine.  Just the two of us spending the afternoon by the river.

Aww, sweetie.  You already are real artist.  And I may have given you driftwood and other materials, encouraged you, and kept you going with salads and wine I made myself, but the artistic talent is all yours.  You did this.

Cuddling and kissing with my woodsy artist girlfriend.  Nothing could ruin this moment...

DAMMIT, SPIRITS!  You're determined to ruin my day, aren't you?

It's Leah's ex, who just can't let things go, and has shown up to try and get Leah back - or at least ruin Leah's new life in the process.

Now that Leah is successful, and starting to make it for herself, Kel wants her back.  Not willing to let Leah be.  I'm not sure if Kel genuinely has come to respect Leah's artistic aspirations and wants her back, or is just being controlling and hates seeing Leah independent and successful.

It doesn't matter, because Leah isn't having it.  Good for you, Leah.  Stand up for yourself.

Kel isn't being reasonable, and I'm pissed at our picnic being ruined.

 Theoretically I should take the high road and talk this over ... but I'm a farmer of action.  I'm going to just punch her in the face.

Leah is actually a bit shocked at this violence.  Though really, there was no ending this scene without violence.  If I had tried using reason, it would have just ended with Leah punching her in the face instead.

We go off to seek a bit more privacy and resume our picnic, but the mood has been soured.  You win this one, spirits.

After that scene, I stop at Clint to drop off my pickaxe for upgrade.  I should really have done this earlier, but I was broke and needed it for the end-of-winter mining push.  The next step after this will be upgrading everything to gold, but that may take a while for me to get around to.

As I'm leaving Clint's, I try a bit of fishing in the river.  The spirits aren't done with me today, giving me a useless can of cola instead of a nice fish.

Well, maybe it's not so useless after all.  I don't know just what rubbing this on a sore back will accomplish, but I may as well put my useless catch to some use.  Unfortunately, it's already getting late in the day, and I don't manage to get to Elliott before he's gone home for the night.

Heading up into the mountain area instead to do a bit more late-night foraging, I hear the thrumming of a motor.  Sebastian has his motorcycle out, and is just about to head out for a ride.

He invites me to come along.  I'm nervous.  The spirits have been messing with me all day.  What if this ends with us both dead in a horrible crash?  Sebastian notices my fear, and promises to protect me.  It's adorable, and enough to get me to hop on the motorcycle behind him.

Off we go, riding through the night.  It's quite exhilarating.

He brings up to a stop at a cliff, where we can see the lights of Zuzu City off in the distance.  Zuzu city, where I once lived, when I worked in a cubicle for JojaMart, before it was all to much and I had to leave for Stardew Valley.  It's been over a year since I saw those lights, or thought about that place.

I don't answer him, lost in my own thoughts and reminiscence.

Strange and sad.  That place once was my home, and while I miss it sometimes, I wouldn't trade it for a moment for the life I've made now.  The simple, pleasant life on my farm, raising crops and taking care of animals.  The community I've come to know and been accepted by.  The many friends I've made here.  Abigail, Penny, Leah, Shane, everyone who I have come to love and be loved by.  I dab at my eyes, wiping away the tears that come unbidden.

Thank you for showing this to me, Sebastian.  Thank you for reminding me of how far I've come, and how much things have changed in the last year for me.

Yeah.  Stardew Valley will do that to you.  It's a magical place.

The spirits don't dare ruin this moment.  I think they know that if they tried, I would find some way to murder them.

Thursday the 18th.  Sebastian has reminded me of where I came from, where I belong, and how far I've come.  I go about searching for the chickens in the tall grass with a happy song in my heart.  I didn't even bother consulting the spirits this morning, I know that today will be a good day no matter what they think.

I manage to track down Elliott in the general store.

"Hey there, handsome.  I got your can of cola.  Just ... you aren't planning to drink this, are you?  I fished it out of the river."

He takes the can and smiles.  "A beautiful specimen of river cola it is!  No, I merely wanted it to press against my sore back.  The round edges and coldness are quite soothing to the muscles."

Oh, don't think of yourself like that, Elliott.  You're awfully good-looking.  That counts for something.

Heh.  Don't worry about it, you beautiful disaster of a man.

I really am starting to warm to him.

Today, I am taking a trip to the Secret Woods, and this time I'm bringing my sword.  There's a lot of good forage in there, and once I've cleared out the slimes I'll be able to explore it at my leisure.

There are a plenitude of salmon berry bushes, and many large stumps to chop up for hardwood.  Once the slimes are gone, this place is quite beautiful, and not just because I still well recall the night that Emily and I spent here.

I take a moment to fish in the little pond, and manage to catch the elusive Woodskip.  It's a fish that can be found nowhere else, and is needed for one of the community center bundles.

The next morning, I find a letter from Elliott in my mailbox.  He's finally finished that novel, and is reading it this afternoon at the museum.  Of course I'll be there, I wouldn't miss this.

The Traveling Wagon merchant is still trying hard to sell those tulips, but I spot a far more important item among their wares:  a Duck Feather!  These are hard to get, I'd normally need to build an expanded coop, get ducks, and then raise their happiness up enough to get them to drop feathers instead of eggs.  Why happy ducks shed their feathers instead of laying eggs I'll never know.

I try to get to the museum nice and early, but it seems like the entire town beat me here.  I hadn't realized that there was this much interest in Elliott's novel.  If this were winter I'd put it down to there not being much else to do, but this is the busy spring season.

Elliott wastes little time.  After introducing himself, he launches into his work, a romance novel called 'Camellia Station'.

He's only reading the first chapter, of course.  It's entertaining enough, and I'll probably pick up a signed copy from him to read if I ever have a spare moment.  Maybe next winter when things are slow.

After finishing the reading, he thanks me for giving him the idea for the novel, and mentions that he's dedicated the book to me. That's really quite sweet.  I'm touched, and tell him to meet me back at his place, as I've picked up a special gift for him.

Here you go, Elliott.  One "I'm proud of you" relationship bouquet. What, did you think I was going to give him the duck feather?  While that is one of his most favorite gifts, I need it for the community center.  I can get more of his other favorite gifts, but I might not come across another duck feather for a while.

That's ten.  Only Sam and Alex are left, but I really don't think I can stomach giving either of them bouquets.