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naughtyneganjdm · 2 months ago

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Threads of Desire: A Christmas to Remember - Chapter 2

Summary: Attempting to fill in for Maggie, Y/N joins Negan at her old school's event. After having one too many drinks, the barrier she had learned to put up for so long crumbles and her emotions run high.

Characters: Negan Smith, the reader (OC), Shane Walsh, etc.

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/61111030/chapters/156141661

Warnings: Swearing, Depression, Angst, Pretty Intense Bickering, etc.

Notes: Since a few Maggie/Neggie fans got offended from the last chapter, if you haven't figured it out, this is not a Neggie fic. It's a reader fic, not a self insert. Self insert is where the author inserts themselves. Just a little moment of education there for you. If Maggie is your favorite character or Neggie (an ooc ship) is your favorite ship, this story is likely not for you. So if you read this story and get angry? That's on you. Not me. That's the last warning you are going to get.

Thanks to those that have read the story and commented, you are all the best! This is a longer chapter!

There were times where Y/N wished she could say no. Suddenly, this was all starting to feel very silly. When she agreed to doing this, she told herself that it was for Negan. It had been four years since she had graduated from college, so coming back after that long just felt strange. This was somewhere she never thought she would return. Yet, here she was. If this was something that she had been genuinely invited to, she may have not been feeling so ill at ease with doing this. Maggie was the person that was supposed to be here, not her. And Maggie would certainly be missed. Maggie was admired by many and people would be coming tonight likely just to see her. So that made things complicated. This was something that Y/N had to always do. Fix things for Maggie. Especially in Maggie’s relationship with Negan. So even though this was a favor for Negan, it felt more so like she was doing this for Maggie at the end of the day.

Since she really had no idea what she was supposed to do, Negan had set her up with a driver to bring her to the college. Considering she was a no one? She was used to traveling places on her own. So everything felt strange experiencing. These were the kind of things that people like Negan and Maggie were used to. Not so much when it came to her.

When she entered the building, she realized that not much had changed inside the walls since she had gone to school there. Then again, it was only four years. The hallways were heavily decorated with Christmas decorations which she assumed was only for this section of the school and this event. While they had decorated the outside of the school at the main entrance when she went here, they didn’t go all out on the inside. Then again, each classroom was a professor’s individual preference.

Even though this was an event that was being held at a college, there was no questioning that this was a very high-end event that was meant for donors. These were people that were here to help fund for certain departments at the college. Being here really made her feel out of place because there was no way that she would ever fit in with the people here.

Now the nervousness was starting to set in realizing why she was actually here and what she was doing to help. Negan was expecting her to make a speech in front of all these people. He wanted her to impress them so they would donate to the school. That was a lot of weight to put on her shoulders. With Maggie? All she’d likely have to do was show up, smile and people would donate. Maggie had that kind of effect on people and she knew that. Now taking into consideration that both Negan and the school were counting on her to help had her increasingly panicked.

This was all so last minute. Sure, she had created the speech and video to go along with things, but this was Maggie’s thing. Interacting with people. Not hers. If she fucked up tonight, this was on Maggie. Because Y/N hadn’t practiced or even prepared. There was no time for it. But then again? She knew that Maggie would never take credit for any failures that may have happened tonight.

God, she really shouldn’t have done this to herself with panicking. As of the last few months, she always felt like she was anxious and that growing tension inside of her body always got worse. And that really wasn’t good for her health.

Right now she should have just been focusing on getting the job done. Yes, this was an area of the school she didn’t know, but there was already so much that she had to worry about. She didn’t need to stress herself out more than she had already done.

Finally moving toward the crowd of people that started to arrive, she observed the area. Looking specifically for Negan. Since she wasn’t Maggie Greene, she needed Negan to be able to help her get into the event. Negan was her ticket in.

Taking some time to look around, she found that panic arising back again through her veins. When she arrived here in the car she had texted him to let him know. And he responded back so she expected to find him waiting for her. Stepping aside, she didn’t want to be in everyone’s way while she waited.

Being here made her think she stood out like a sore thumb. That people would realize that she was not meant to be there, but surprisingly most people didn’t even notice. It was like she fit in and that wasn’t something she was used to. Dressing like this took time and dedication. A lot of work went into what she was wearing along with her hair and makeup. The dress was something that she had bought a long time ago. At the time, it was too expensive for her, but she was smitten with it. So she had bought it. This was the first time she got to wear it.

Talking tonight was going to be interesting. Having the spotlight on her with all these people was either going to be nerve wrecking. Or feel good because she was used to being the invisible one. The talent without a face.

“You look lost and scared,” a raspy voice whispered, pressing in behind her. Just the sound had her heart rate quickening. An inevitable smile tugged at her lips when she felt a pair of hands pressing in over her shoulders. “Sorry I’m late, I had to run a few errands first. I was worried I wouldn’t find you, but fuck, you stand out in the crowd.”

“I hope that’s a good thing,” she finally turned on her heel, her eyes connecting with Negan’s. A surprised sound fell from her throat at the sight of Negan standing before her. In all of her time knowing Negan she had never seen him dressed up. Yet, here he was standing before her in a three piece suit. Everything about him was nicely groomed. His facial hair was trimmed and his dark hair was slicked back. She hated to admit it, but he looked good. Really good. “Wow.”

“I know, right?” Negan snorted, taking a step back to allow her to look him over. By his body language, he was uncomfortable but he was being over the top with the way he was showing her what he was wearing. “You wouldn’t normally catch me wearing a monkey suit like this fucking thing.”

“The school must have something juicy on you that they are holding over your head,” she teased him drawing his nose to wrinkle in amusement. Placing his hand in over his slender abdomen, Negan dragged his hand down over the lengths of what he was wearing before back up again. “You look great.”

“You’re just saying that because you’re supposed to,” Negan winked, his dimples sinking in and becoming more prominent as he spoke. “We’ve known each other a long time so you’re not about to tell me how much of a fool I look.”

“Oh yeah, because I’m certain when people look at you tonight they are going to be thinking what a fool that man is,” she agreed with him in a sarcastic tone eliciting another deep rumble of a laugh from him. “You’re just fishing for compliments. And you’ll get them from me. You look really nice tonight. You should wear those things more often.”

“No fucking way,” Negan refused, shaking his head repeatedly. Offering up a bright smile, he stepped forward in closer to her again. “Let me check your coat for you.”

Reaching out, he made her turn so he could help pull her jacket from her body unhurriedly. Once her jacket was off, she turned on her heel to face him. When he took a look at her, she noticed the way his eyebrows bounced up. There was something in the way that he looked at her that took her breath away. His eyes lowered to gaze over the lengths of her body to look at what she was wearing.

“Wow…” Negan clicked his tongue at the top of his mouth humming in appreciation of what he saw. “You look…”

Negan paused again to step forward, grabbing her hand with his urging her to spin around so he could take a look at her. Now that just felt cheesy. But she allowed him to do it. A warmth flooded into her features when she went full circle.

“You look really…” Negan paused when his eyes stopped at her breasts. It wasn’t something that he was hiding either. There they lingered for a moment and he swallowed down hard. Realizing what he was doing, Negan was quick to pull his eyes away. Holding her coat tighter to him, Negan rocked back and forth on his feet. “Really good. I like that black dress on you. You look very nice.”

“Thank you,” she muttered feeling both a chill and a warmth growing inside of her. The chill because they were still by the doors that kept opening and closing with guests coming in. And the warmth at potentially catching Negan gawking at her breasts. “You know, I know you’re just saying that because you have to. We’ve been friends a long time and you don’t have it in you to tell me that I look a fool.”

“Oh, haha,” Negan scoffed allowing the both of them to laugh at her repeating what he had done earlier to her. “I suppose I deserve that one, huh?”

“Maybe,” she tipped her head to the side, shuddering once more at the breeze that surrounded them with the doors opening and closing. “I sure do hope it’s warmer in there than it is out here.”

“Oh, it’s plenty warm in there,” Negan assured her with a wink, nodding his head toward a different area of the hallway. Hooking his arm with hers, Negan was doing his best to be a gentleman with her. Likely showing her overwhelming amounts of kindness because she was doing him a favor here. “Walk with me.”

“Sure,” she agreed following Negan toward the area to check her coat. Moving to the front of the line, Negan did it quickly and then turned to her. Noticing that she was still shivering, Negan moved forward to caress the warmth of his large hands in over her shoulders. Attempting to warm her up, his hands rubbed down over her arms and up toward her shoulders again. The sensation brought forth another chill through her veins. “I guess I should have worn something warmer.”

“You’re going to warm up in a few minutes. I promise you that,” Negan stammered, moving forward to wrap her up in his arms to give her a big hug. It had been a long time since she had gotten one of Negan’s hugs. They were incredibly strong. They always were. The strength of it almost had him pulling her from her feet against his chest. “You have no idea how much I appreciate you coming here tonight. It would have been fucking miserable trying to explain to everyone how we have no one from the fashion design department to speak for us today. I was the one that hooked them up with Maggie so I would have looked like an asshole coming back with no one.”

“I’m sure they would have been happier with Maggie being here,” she suggested closing her eyes at the warmth of Negan’s breath over the side of her neck. “You probably would have gotten more donations with her speaking.”

“Not necessarily. It really depends. You might draw more of the classy crowd,” Negan admitted, leaning back to gaze her over again. Giving her another big smile took her breath away. “But, with how you look right now? You will probably draw in most of the crowds. You’re gonna have to excuse me. You look incredibly hot right now. And as a man, I need to inform you that I’m gonna be looking at your breasts. A lot. It’s not my intention, but they are there and you look really good in that black dress.”

“Negan!” she snickered, a warmth flooding into her cheeks hearing him actually talking to her like that. Throwing his hands up in the air, Negan didn’t seem to have any shame with what he had said. “You’re a taken man.”

“Regardless, I fucking have eyes. And damn…” Negan hissed, his eyes dropping down toward the neckline of the black dress that she was wearing. “You’re cute most of the time, but in this dress? It’s like you walked right out of my fucking dreams. My wet dreams, but…”

“God,” she groaned, still finding laughter in the things that he was saying. No matter how tacky they were. Back when they were first spending time together, this was the way Negan was all the time. They would consistently flirt with each other and say things before he started dating Maggie. “There is the Negan that I knew four years ago. I thought he left once he started dating someone.”

“Oh no, he has been in here the whole time,” Negan hooked his arm loosely around her shoulders. The weight of him around her made her feel like she belonged to Negan. And truthfully? She liked it. “My mouth may have been pure, but my thoughts? Never have been. I may be faithful, but my eyes and my dick…they notice things. All the time. And I can’t stop them from noticing.”

“Are you sure this is what you want to talk about here?” she couldn’t help but laugh since they were surrounded by people.

“They are so lost in their own conversations and lives that they don’t care to hear what we are talking about,” Negan slurred, pulling her in closer to him as they headed for the ballroom area where the event was being held. “But I also think anyone that looks at you tonight is gonna feel the same way I do. I promise you that.”

Leading her toward the table that they were going to be sitting at, Negan pulled out her chair and helped her sit down. Moving in beside her, Negan turned in the chair to look at her so they could talk easier, “So the schedule is people are going to mingle a little bit first. Then we will have some speeches. Then people will eat. And after that? It’s more so a party. Drinks, dancing…that kind of stuff.”

“Sounds good,” she sighed, taking her time to look around the room to see all the seats that were there. Panic flooded through her veins at the idea of her messing up again, but that was soon put to a halt with the warmth of Negan’s hands grabbing a hold of hers. Soft strokes of his thumbs were felt over the back of her hands and he gave her a weak smile. “I just don’t want to mess this up for you.”

“You’re not going to do that. You know how bad I am at giving speeches at big events. I do good in a classroom, but at things like this? It’s like a horrible comedy skit from me,” he suggested with a tiny snort, his dimples becoming more visible when he smiled. “I forget half of what I want to say and I just end up rambling. So I guarantee you will do better than me.”

“But you’re Negan Smith. Most people know who you are,” she pointed out drawing Negan to roll his eyes and release one of her hands to wave his hand about in the air dismissively. Even if he didn’t think it was a big deal, most people who knew who Negan was got excited at the idea of him. Either from his time in films or from back when he was a baseball player. “I’m just someone who works for Maggie Greene.”

“But,” Negan interrupted her thought process, leaning forward in his chair, “you work at Vixen. Just hearing that alone is gonna make people interested in you.”

Silence surrounded them with Negan looking over her skeptically. Something was off about the way that Negan was gazing her over, “What? What’s that look for?”

“What happened to the confident Y/N? You were my student teacher and you were more confident about teaching those students than I ever was,” Negan reminded her of her past when she worked with Negan to help him teach his class. The person that he was bringing up was someone who hadn’t gone through a fuck load of stress. Life had been rough on her. Back then, she was excited about life and the potential of her future. Now? Not so much. “You were never nervous or worried. Now you suddenly care about what a room full of strangers thinks of you?”

“One, I’ve had to deal with a lot of anxiety over the last four years,” she was honest, referring to the job that she had with Maggie. Everything was a worry and a huge amount of stress for her. It took a toll on her mental health and her body. “And two, I don’t care what these people think about me. I just want to help you. I want to be successful in the things that you want me to do. I also don’t want Maggie to lecture me for however many days it will take for her to stop being pissed at me if I mess something up.”

“Maggie can’t possibly be that bad,” Negan grumbled, leaning back into his chair. Letting his hands smack down in over his thighs, Negan huffed at the expression that Y/N gave him. “Okay, I can admit…Maggie can be a little extreme with things. Control is a big thing for her.”

“Uh huh,” she didn’t want to shit talk Maggie. Especially to her boyfriend. But that was an extreme understatement with what Negan had said.

“I mean you have to like your job, right?” Negan questioned, his deep voice searching for answers with his hazel eyes narrowing. That made Y/N freeze up. Genuinely, Negan was curious to know her answer. At that moment? She should have talked about how much she loved her job. How lucky she was to be there. How she was blessed to work with her best friend, but she couldn’t say a thing. “Your lack of response has me worried.”

“Did Maggie tell you how she got this job?” Y/N wondered knowing that in the past, she would have eagerly told Negan all about it. They told each other everything when they were close before he got together with Maggie. But since he was dating Maggie by the time she got that job? It was hard to be open with Negan.

“Vaguely,” Negan shifted in the seat, his cheeks growing red. “It’s been a long time. I don’t always remember the details of…everything.”

This was the time where she could have unloaded everything on Negan, but he probably wouldn’t have believed her anyways. Instead of answering, she just nodded. But Negan was obviously waiting for some kind of response, “Why?”

“It doesn’t matter,” she was quick to shut down the conversation since it would lead nowhere. It was stupid for her to bring it up in the first place. “The job just didn’t turn out to be what I thought it was going to be.”

“How so?” Negan pushed, sliding forward in his chair with his legs separating getting more comfortable. Even though he wanted her to talk, she knew better than to do that.

“I think there are some things I should probably keep to myself,” she admitted, forcing herself to look away from Negan since she didn’t know how to respond to everything. “I don’t know what you are going to go and tell Maggie after we are done here.”

“You think I would go tattle on you?” Negan pouted reaching out to grab at her arm to get her to look at him. Rolling her eyes, she swatted at his hand to get him away from her. A tiny laugh escaped him and he nudged her playfully again. “I’m not like that.”

“I don’t know. Maggie is capable of making people do a lot of things that most people probably never thought they were capable of,” she blurt out, regretting it after she said it when Negan’s thick eyebrows bounced up. “Let’s just say I never pictured myself being a personal assistant to anyone this far into my career. I was always told I was too good for things, yet, here I am at the bottom of the barrel in terms of my career. Maggie would be lost without me, yet no one knows my name.”

The smile that was over Negan’s features slowly faded. Biting down on his bottom lip, Negan’s Adam’s apple bounced in his throat and he looked down toward the ground like he was uncomfortable with the conversation, “I’m sorry I said it.”

“No, I just…I agree with you,” Negan admitted, sliding his chair in closer to her so he could talk quietly. It wasn’t like anyone was going to hear them or care because no one knew their connections to Maggie at this point. Throwing his hands up, Negan sucked in a sharp breath of air. “I never understood why you were in the position that you were in. I just figured you were there because you liked working with your best friend and that’s where you wanted to be.”

“Hmm…” she didn’t know how to respond looking around, wishing that they were serving drinks before she had to go up on stage. “To be honest with you Negan? If I told you a lot of my truths, you wouldn’t believe me because it doesn’t put Maggie in the best light.”

“You think I would believe that you would lie to me?” Negan scoffed, his eyebrows furrowing seemingly upset that she would assume that about him. Why were they bickering about this? And why were they doing it right now? Maggie was a sensitive subject for her and this felt weird to do with Negan. “You’ve never lied to me. Ever. Why would I assume that you would lie to me now.”

“Because you’re Maggie’s boyfriend and you’re head over heels in love with her?” she countered, her eyebrows bouncing up. Giving him a moment to think about it had a smile slowly tugging at Negan’s features. “See? You know that I’m right.”

“Loving someone means you love all of them, right? The good and the bad?” Negan proposed and it felt like she had been hit right in the gut. She knew that Negan loved Maggie but hearing him talk about loving her always hurt. Even after this long. “You can tell me things.”

“I don’t think I can,” she confessed to him, shaking her head when she spoke. Feeling the way she did four years later made her feel pathetic. But really? She was pathetic. Pining over the same man after this long was ridiculous. “There is a lot I keep to myself. And trust me, while I would love to blurt out all the negative, terrible things that have happened to me or that I know, I know better than to do that.”

“Now suddenly I’m curious,” Negan slurred, sucking at his bottom lip and dropping his head to the side slightly. “What do you know about Maggie that I don’t know?”

Silence fell over the both of them. A smirk tugged at Negan’s lips, his eyebrows bouncing up like he was waiting for her to say something. Shaking her head let him know that nothing was going to be said and it made Negan roll his eyes.

“That whole best friend code thing?” Negan snorted, still attempting to get her to talk about what was bothering her.

“If such a thing existed, I’m pretty sure I’m the only one that knows about it,” she spoke quietly enough but she knew that Negan heard her. That was more than enough toward Maggie for tonight. She knew better than to let it get this far. “So how is Jordyn?”

“Smooth transition,” Negan commented, amusement flooding his handsome features. Allowing her that right, Negan adjusted in his seat and folded his arms out in front of his chest. “She’s at home with my mother. Which does remind me, on Saturday she has something that she wanted me to ask you to come to. It’s this thing for school where the children bring their parents. It’s like an outing to Central Park. They do these, I don’t even know. Obstacles for family members to do. They can win something. She was telling me about it this morning, but she was a little all over the place with it. I know she has a sheet that I can send you tomorrow if you’re available.”

“You don’t want to take Maggie?” she was curious as to why Negan would ask her in the first place. Yeah, she took care of Jordyn a lot, but Maggie was the person that was dating Negan.

“Maggie isn’t her mother,” Negan commented simply as if that was a good excuse as to why. Once he said it, Negan’s lips parted and he swallowed down hard. By the look on her face, he knew she didn’t understand what he meant. It was just after so long of Y/N being the only female influence in Jordyn’s life, it did feel like she was actually Jordyn’s mother. That made him confused sometimes when he talked about her relationship with his daughter. “Fuck. You’re obviously not her mother either, but you’re the closest thing to a mother she’s had. Jordyn doesn’t really remember Lucille. The only thing she knows is you. You took care of her when I couldn’t. You are with her multiple days a week. She counts on you and you are always there for her. You’re like her mother without being her mother.”

“Well, when you put it like that…” she felt her chest tightening hearing how Jordyn viewed her. She’d be lying if she said she didn’t love Negan’s daughter. They had a bond that was very sweet. It made her happy and Jordyn was one of the only things that brought her joy. “Then I can’t say no. That little girl means everything to me.”

“I don’t think I have ever properly thanked you for all you do for my daughter,” Negan stammered, hooking his fingers together in his lap. By his body language she could tell that he was uncomfortable. “Jordyn wasn’t your responsibility, but you stepped up when no one else did. Including me. You’re the closest thing to a mother that Jordyn has ever had and I know that she loves you.”

“And I love her,” she assured Negan knowing that regardless of how she felt toward Negan and Maggie, she cared very much about Jordyn.

“You pretty much help me raise her,” Negan recalled how things had been over the last eight years. “I don’t think I would have made it without you. I don’t know what I would have done if you didn’t walk into my class eight years ago. You make my little girl very happy. And you had no reason you had to do what you’ve done, but it means a lot to me. To both of us.”

“Well she means a lot to me too. I’m just thankful you both welcomed me into her life,” she gave a smile being honest about how she felt toward Jordyn. “She’s an amazing little girl. Probably the highlight of my life right now.”

“You’re an angel,” Negan declared, lifting his hand up to capture her chin between his index finger and thumb. Sweeping the pad of his thumb in over her jawline had her eyes fluttering to a close. It made her heart beat harder inside of her chest at the sensation. Forcing her eyes open, she noticed how locked onto her Negan appeared to be.

“Is this the girl?” a voice boomed in from beside them making Negan pull his hand back. Lifting her head, Y/N saw a man approaching and by his name tag she assumed that he was a professor. Although? He was dressed a little skeezy to be a professor here. That was her thoughts at least. He was wearing a gray suit with a black button down underneath. The buttons to his shirt were undone almost all the way down to his bellybutton. His brown hair was slicked back and he looked like he was more so ready to go out for a night on town. Once the stranger was before them, he couldn’t take his eyes off Y/N. “Maggie, right? This man talks about you all the time. I can see why he is so smitten with you. You’re gorgeous…”

“I’m not Maggie,” she interrupted the stranger since she was already jealous enough as it was. “I’m actually Maggie’s best friend.”

“Oh!” the stranger looked between Negan and Y/N letting out a rumble of a sound. “Negan, you dirty dog! Best friends?”

“It’s not…” Negan immediately shook his head, holding his hands up. “We aren’t…”

“Negan and I are just friends. Four years ago I probably would have called him my best friend, but then he hooked up with Maggie who was my childhood best friend. And our close friendship kind of fell apart after that. Now we’re just friends,” Y/N explained, reaching out to pat Negan on the chest firmly. Out of the corner of her eye, she could tell that comment caught Negan’s attention. Likely because there were layers of anger in that statement. “I’m stepping in for Maggie because she couldn’t be here tonight. I work closely with her.”

“I consider that a win,” the stranger stepped between Y/N and Negan, lowering down to his knees to put himself between the two of them. The way his brown eyes hooked with hers had her heart skipping a beat. The stranger certainly wasn’t a bad looking man. So to have his attention like this? Well, it was charming in the moment. “This is where I’m going to take the chance to introduce myself, my name is Shane Walsh. And you are fucking beautiful.”

“Wow, you’re forward,” she mused, a tiny laugh falling from her throat. Tipping his head from side to side, Shane gave her a charming smile that made sure her eyes were locked on him with his big brown eyes. “That’s very bold.”

“I like to think so,” Shane winked, his hand reaching for hers to introduce himself and when he grabbed her hand his fingers ran across the back of it to check for a ring. “Am I to assume that you aren’t married?”

“I’m not married,” she confirmed for Shane who seemed to light up at her answer.

“Are you dating someone?” Shane pushed further eliciting an annoyed groan from Negan behind him. That didn’t seem to stop Shane from asking though.

“Just my job,” she responded finding herself entertained that Negan seemed infuriated that Shane had just so blatantly blocked him out of the conversation.

“Do you have plans for after the event?” Shane wondered, his chiseled jawline flexing. Who knew that she would have someone trying to hook up with her at this event? That was certainly a surprise. “Because I’d love to get to know you better.”

“Christ, I’m right here!” Negan grunted out, but Shane just waved his hand up in the air to dismiss his comment. That had a rush of red flooding into Negan’s face. That brush off made it look like Negan wanted to knock Shane on his ass. “She’s here with me.”

“As your guest, not your girlfriend,” Shane pointed out, shooting Negan a quick glance over his shoulder. Shane was making his intentions clear and he was laying them out on the table. Even if it was pissing Negan off in the process. “Chill out Smith. It’s not like I’m moving in on what’s yours.”

“I’m going to agree to disagree with you there,” Negan hissed, his fingers curling around Shane’s shoulder getting Shane to back up so he was no longer between both her and Negan. “I’m very protective of this woman and considering I know what you’re like…”

“Fun is what he means,” Shane defended himself, placing his hand in over the center of his chest. “I’m very fun.”

Motioning her to wait, Shane pulled out a card from his pocket and pat his pockets to find a pen. Writing something down, he handed the card to her and gave her a wink, “If you get bored of this guy later tonight and you’d like to have some fun, don’t be afraid to call me. Even if it’s not tonight. We can meet up for a drink and see what happens.”

Curling her fingers around the card, she gave him a nod with Shane biting down on his bottom lip. Patting Negan on the shoulder seemed to infuriate Negan before Shane went off to another area to talk to someone else.

“You can’t be seriously considering it,” Negan scoffed, his eyes narrowing with his body language growing more uncomfortable. “Shane is a scumbag. Do you know how many fucking students he has been rumored to have relations with? I’m pretty sure there were rumors around the school that he fucked a student and filmed it. They said it ended up on one of the websites for everyone to see.”

“Do you really think the college would still employ him if that was the case? It’s college Negan, not high school. Everyone is a consenting adult,” she responded back having Negan let out a surprised sound with her reply. Seemingly, he thought telling her that would have her disgusted at the idea of Shane. “What? You’re acting like he’s screwing around with women that aren’t consenting adults.”

“But it’s an abuse of power,” Negan suggested, throwing his hand about in frustration. “And he’s…a fucking prick. I hate that guy.”

“Maggie was a student when you two started to hook up,” she reminded Negan of her final year at the school. That reminder had the color draining from Negan’s face. “So do you really have the right to judge?”

“Maggie wasn’t my student,” Negan corrected her with a bit of anger behind his tone, the lines in his forehead growing. “That’s the big difference.”

“Still, there is a bit of an age gap,” she stressed to Negan visibly making him tense at the reminder. “Wouldn’t people say the same thing about you? You were fucking a student. The two of you had wild sex all the time.”

“It’s not the same thing,” Negan repeated, his throat flexing in a moment of aggravation. “Maggie was in her twenties at the time. Old enough to make decisions. If she was my student, people would have every right to give me shit.”

“Because starting a relationship with one of your students would have been the worst thing in the world,” she returned her stare back to Negan who looked like he wanted to say something, but then didn’t. Shaking her head, she reached for her purse and put Shane’s card into it. That decision alone seemed to infuriate Negan. What had been a light hearted moment quickly went south after she had been confused for Maggie and someone else showed interest in her. “Don’t worry Negan. I’m not going to have sex with your co-worker. It was just nice to feel seen for once. It’s been a long time since someone has had that kind of response to me. Then again, I rarely get out because of my job. When I’m not working, I’m doing my best to get in sleep because I hardly get any.”

“I find it hard to believe that you aren’t noticed by a lot of people because you’re perfect,” Negan stressed, his fingers stretching out on the table top. Hearing that took her breath away. Perfect? “Who wouldn’t want to be with you?”

“I can think of a few people,” she frowned, forcing herself to look away from Negan. More than anything, all she ever wanted was to be seen by Negan. To be wanted by Negan, but she lost that chance a long time ago.

Thankfully this conversation didn’t last any longer because other people were starting to show up that were also sitting at their table. In the first hour of being there many people had come up to introduce themselves calling her Maggie. So often she wished that she could be Maggie. Maggie had everything she wanted in life, but getting called Maggie? Well that was infuriating her. And to have so many women who worked at the school coming up to tell her how much Negan loved her? Really, it sickened her and she wished the alcohol was out so she could be getting herself shit faced. Having to tell people over and over again she wasn’t Maggie wasn’t all that fun.

Considering everyone thought she was Maggie told her that they had never met Maggie, but also that Negan talked about Maggie all the time for them to be able to expect her. It sounded like Negan had told them all that they were going to meet her at that event. Which meant Negan bragged about her. Every day she was starting to realize just how lucky Maggie truly was.

By the time she had to get up on stage, she really felt like she had no shits left to give. They had already prepared the video she sent Negan previously to go with her speech. At the start of her speech, she took after Negan cracking a few jokes about not being Maggie. Instead of worrying, she decided to go with the educated comedian attitude, appealing a little bit to everyone in the audience. Usually she was pretty straight forward with her teaching methods, but the smart ass was coming out of her and it seemed to be working because most of the audience was focused on her. Having their attention felt nice and she could see why Maggie enjoyed it. After she was done, it was Negan’s turn to go up once he helped her off the stage.

“Suddenly I wish I would have gone before her,” Negan commented when he made it up onto the stage. Confidence usually oozed through Negan’s veins when he was one on one with people or in small groups, but when he was in front of a lot of people he would tend to get nervous. Which he worked through with jokes and it always worked for him.

People were enchanted with Negan and she understood why. When he was in a room, he demanded attention. Whether he was nervous or not, when he was talking, everyone paid attention. There was something about his charisma that drew people to him. After his speech, he made his way back down beside her when the next person went up.

Once he sat down, she could see that he was still tense from being up there. Outstretching her hand, she placed hers over his and gave it a firm squeeze, “You did great.”

Even though she was frustrated with him and a little bitter, she didn’t want him to overthink what he had just done.

“So did you,” Negan winked, hooking his fingers with hers. During the speeches, she was surprised that he kept holding her hand but she allowed him to do so. Affection from him felt nice, so she wasn’t going to turn it away. By the time the alcohol became available, she was thankful for it. Right off the bat, she probably drank way too much. A few people had come up to talk to her about Vixen, but after the professional parts of the event it seemed like most people just wanted to enjoy the Christmas decorations and the party that came with it. During the middle of their meals, she did find herself feeling out of place with conversations. No one else other than Negan knew who she was. Except for a few random professors that she had back in the day that came up to talk to her. So a lot of her time was spent in silence. Looking around the table, many people were lost in conversation. And she wondered what they were even talking about. When her eyes fell upon Negan, she realized that he was staring out at her. “Do you want to dance?”

“I’m sorry?” she realized that Negan had leaned in to speak in her ear since everyone was so loud by now enjoying themselves. Music was also playing so that made hearing him harder.

“I asked you if you wanted to dance,” Negan repeated what his original question was, his hazel eyes hooked on hers when he leaned back. “We used to dance all the time in the past. Do you still have it in you?”

“Sure, why not?” she accepted Negan’s hand in hers, standing from the table carefully. Moving through the crowd with Negan leading her to the dance floor, she felt her face getting hot. When Negan got where he wanted to be, he turned to her and hooked his arm loosely around her waist to pull her in closer to him. Everything was slightly blurred and she knew that she was drunk. She drank too much too fast. She’d be surprised if she didn’t make a fool of herself. But Negan was right. They used to always dance in his classroom just to be silly with one another in the past. Things got tense when she had to force herself to look at Negan. Especially since they hadn’t been this close in almost four years. “Do you think Maggie will be accepting of my speech tonight?”

“Maggie will never hear your speech from tonight,” Negan responded, his right eyebrow arching as he spoke. They were moving together and Negan knew that he had to be the lead in this. Even he could pick up on the fact she was a little tipsy. “Even if she did, I think your speech was very well done. You spoke about your experiences at the school. You talked about Maggie and what she does. Linked the two together. You were both professional and fucking funny. Maggie might not have approved of the jokes, but I think it made you more relatable. That kind of attitude charms people.”

“I figured it worked with you, so I might as well try it,” she gasped when Negan spun her about on the dancefloor having her falling in against his chest with a laugh. Until that moment she was overthinking everything she had done tonight with her speech. Normally she would have been more…boring? But with Negan pulling out that dance move, she couldn’t help but be amused. “I may have had a little bit too much to drink tonight so please be careful with me.”

“I’ll do my best,” Negan snickered against the side of her neck enjoying the way that she was laughing while they danced together. “Tonight has brought a lot of memories back for me. Like when you were my student teacher up in front of the class. Giving lectures…”

“If that’s what I reminded you of, then I must have been boring,” she placed her hand in over the center of Negan’s chest to brace herself. It had been a long time since they were this close with one another. Having this kind of focus from Negan felt good, but she knew that it wouldn’t last long.

“You were never boring. When you’re passionate about something, you fucking glow,” Negan declared, shaking his head as his hands settled in over her hips. “I was always very impressed with you and what you were capable of. How fast you picked up on things, how easy they came to you. I have no fucking doubts that you were my favorite student through the years.”

“And likely your biggest let down,” she retorted hating that she had so much potential to be something more than what she was. Back when she was here, Negan promised her the world. A job in the industry, assuring her that she was better than so many people that were working in movies back then. And now she was a glorified slave. “You thought I was destined for big things and look where I am.”

“Why do you talk about yourself like that?” Negan frowned, his big hazel eyes growing with sadness. He hated hearing her talk like that. Waiting for an answer, she just shrugged her shoulders and sighed loudly. “I told you that you were too good for fashion design when you were going to school.”

“Apparently I wasn’t good enough for either fashion design or film,” she let out an extended sigh, overwhelmed with her own emotions tonight. This was probably why she never drank. It brought her down, not up. “I’ve kind of failed at everything, huh?”

“Y’know what? Fuck this,” Negan scoffed, grabbing her hand in his. Carelessly moving through the crowd of people, Negan stole quick glances back at her to make sure that she was okay. Snagging her purse before they left the room, she didn’t know where Negan was taking her because he wouldn’t tell her. No matter how many times she asked him. That was until she realized that they were headed to Negan’s lecture hall. Unlocking the door, Negan pushed it open and stepped aside. Holding out his hand, he waved it about, giving her a big cheesy smile. “After you my dear.”

With a laugh, she moved into the room and let out a long sigh once she saw it. Not much had changed. Most of her time was spent in this room with her four years at this college. Moving down the steps toward the front of the lecture hall amused her. Heading over to the seat in the front row that she used to always take drew Negan’s attention as he made his way down the stairs. Dropping down into the seat, she tapped her hands on top of the desk. Unhurriedly he went over to his desk and sat down on the edge of it staring out at her.

“Do you remember your first day of class?” Negan asked, his fingers curling around the edge of the desk. Nodding, she looked around the classroom around her. Memories started flooding through her. The people she’d talk to. Projects. Conversations. The late nights she spent in here just talking with Negan. Helping him correct his papers. “What were your first initial thoughts?”

“About this class?” she confirmed, finally giving Negan her full attention instead of thinking back to what it used to be like in here. “You want me to be honest?”

“That’s all I ever want from you,” Negan huffed, slouching forward and bobbing his head about. Squeezing his fingers tightly where they were, he wanted her to talk about things that made her happy. Things that would bring back good memories and not bad ones. “We used to talk about it a long time ago.”

“Are we talking about why I joined your classes?” she wondered, forcing herself to look away from Negan. There was a lump growing in her throat when she stretched her fingers out across the length of the top of the desk. “How my family wanted me to take film classes to see if I preferred it over fashion design?”

Silence followed and she couldn’t help but smirk, “Because if you remember, I doubted taking your classes at first. But then I ended up liking them very much.”

“Your initial reaction of me is that you found me intimidating, right?” Negan mused, a goofy smile tugging at his handsome features when she lifted her gaze to him again. Rolling her eyes she shook her head and then bit down on her bottom lip. “What?”

“Everyone else found you intimidating. With the way you spoke. How you’d swear all the time. Or you weren’t afraid to make people look stupid and put them in their places. You weren’t the typical professor. If someone fucked up? They never did it again. You made sure of that. Yet most people loved you. Weird how that works,” she remembered what everyone was like when they were in Negan’s classes. Most people who started hating Negan loved him in the end. The look in Negan’s eyes showed that he was amused hearing that. The faint smile slowly disappeared from her lips when she shrugged. “I can’t tell you what my original thoughts were on the first day of class with you.”

“And why not?” Negan groaned out, tipping his head from side to side hinting that his neck or shoulders may have hurt. Lifting his hand, he unhooked the buttons that were on his jacket causing her to sigh.

“Because they were inappropriate,” she informed him wondering if she should tell him and be honest. Hell, what did she have to lose in the moment? The man told her he only wanted the truth from her. So it couldn’t hurt. Then again? That might have been the liquid courage speaking. “Originally, I thought that maybe I was making a mistake in focusing on both fashion and film. Getting a major in fashion and a minor in film didn’t exactly sound easy nor tempting. But then the professor walked in and I thought…holy fucking shit. He’s fucking hot. Maybe classes with this guy won’t be so bad.”

A loud, hearty laugh fell deep from within Negan’s throat. Tipping his head back had the prominent vein at the side of his neck showing and she shamelessly shrugged her shoulders, “After that first day I knew I wouldn’t have many problems in class because you were so good looking I knew I wouldn’t hate it. Even if the class was boring, I could look at you and I would be able to get by.”

“Most of my students have that first initial feeling,” Negan suggested and she rolled her eyes at his arrogance. Hearing that didn’t surprise him. It wasn’t the first time people had told him that they thought he was hot. “I’m just saying. Many of my students have always commented on my looks. I’m used to hearing it.”

“No ego there,” she grumbled, caressing her hand over the top of her desk again. With her confession, that wasn’t really the response that she wanted from him.

“We both know my ego is gigantic,” Negan didn’t deny her comment eliciting a laugh from the both of them. There was no hiding that Negan’s ego was huge and often annoyed people. He knew that he could smile at someone and get people to do whatever the hell he wanted. But he was also very arrogant. He played off his good looks and he made people know he was good looking. So much so that it got annoying sometimes. “Most of the time that crush students have on me gradually begins to leave as they learn I’m kind of an asshole.”

This is where she chose to be quiet. Not lying to Negan was a big thing for her. Keeping things from him was innocent enough. Lying to him was another thing. Dropping her head down, she thought of how things were with them in the past, “Can I ask you something?”

“Yeah?” Negan started tapping his fingers against the desk creating a tune from it.

“Why did you stop trying to help me get into the film business?” she was blunt, lifting her head up to stare out at Negan expectantly. A touch of color flooded into her face. It appeared like she was disappointed and embarrassed when she asked him. Slouching forward, Negan’s lips parted. It looked like he wanted to say something, went to and the reconsidered it. “I mean, during my final year you were building me up. Telling me that you were going to be helping me get into the business. Hook me up with things. And then you never did. You made me believe that I was capable of so much.”

“You are,” Negan was quick to respond, his eyes narrowing when he realized that she was kind of upset after asking that. “I uh…” Negan paused, shaking his head. What she wanted was an answer. And he didn’t know if he had a good one. “I don’t know. I guess I assumed because Maggie was getting you a job at Vixen that there was no reason for me to try to find you something else. That was the place you had always dreamt of working at. You told me that yourself.”

“I never dreamt of being someone’s personal assistant,” she stressed, expressing how disappointed she really was with her life right now. When she started with Maggie, Maggie promised her partner. Not what she ended up being. “I really thought I was something special. You built me up to believe that. And now I’m nothing.”

“How are you nothing? You work for one of the biggest fashion designers in the world right now,” Negan reminded her, throwing his hand about and snapping his fingers. “Do you know how many people would love to work for Guy Vixen? You can’t talk like your life is the worst thing possible because you’re working where you always dreamt of being.”

“I don’t work for Guy Vixen, I work for Maggie Greene,” she simply stated the truth knowing that she was being negative in the moment. But it was true. “Guy Vixen doesn’t even know my name. I’m in a dead-end job that is going to go nowhere because of a promise I made to someone that eats away at my guilt keeping me from really being something important.”

“What does that mean?” Negan obviously didn’t know what she was talking about because she never really told anyone about the promise that she made to Maggie’s father to watch over her and take care of Maggie.

“It doesn’t matter,” she exhaled loudly wishing that she could be open with Negan about things, but it wouldn’t change his mind on Maggie. Nor would it change the past and the things that happened. “Not to put you on the spot, but did I do something?”

“Do something?” he repeated her words, his facial expression showing that he didn’t know where she was headed with the conversation.

“To make you not want to be around me anymore,” she stammered, her face growing hot since she was being so brazen with her actions tonight. “Before you hooked up with Maggie we were together all the time. Hanging out. Spending time together. Spending time with Jordyn. You were my biggest cheerleader promising me the world and then you just kind of…stopped. I thought the two of us were closer than we obviously are.”

“Oh,” Negan paused to think about what she asked him. By the look in his eyes he was really fighting to come up with an answer.

“Never mind,” she realized it was taking longer than she would have liked it to have taken. That hope that there was something more he felt for her was stupid to begin with. “Forget that I asked. It was stupid anyways.”

“No. It’s not stupid. You’re right. We were together all the time and we were really close,” Negan agreed with her, folding his arms in front of his chest. Still, it took him longer than she would have liked it to. “You didn’t do anything, I just…I don’t know? When Maggie and I started dating, I think I just started spending all my extra time with Maggie. When you’re with someone, you kind of just want to be able to spend as much time with them as possible. That doesn’t mean that you did something wrong. Because you didn’t. You’re still one of the most important people in my life Y/N.”

“Your daughter’s life,” she corrected his statement, forcing herself to look away from him. “I’m important to Jordyn. And I’ve come to terms with that. I just wish that you wouldn’t have given up on me completely.”

“I never realized you were as unhappy as you are,” Negan explained, his hand lifting to place in over the center of his chest to defend himself. What he was hearing tonight shocked him. Because he really thought she was happy. She was always smiling and positive when she was with Jordyn. So this side of her? He had no idea that it existed. “If I would have known, I would have gotten you a job somewhere. I was more connected to things back then. I could have easily gotten you a job.”

“And now you can’t?” she confirmed with him noticing the way that Negan stammered to find the right words. Suddenly it felt like the room was spinning around her and she wished she wouldn’t have opened her mouth. “Yeah, I understand.”

“Listen…” Negan paused, hating to see the expression that was over her face. “We haven’t worked together since you were in college. I have no idea what your work ethic is like. You’ve been at a fashion design company for four years. I don’t think that background is the kind someone would be looking for. With how long I’ve been gone from the industry? I don’t think someone is just going to trust me when I say to them, hey, this girl that I know would like a job and four years ago she was my best student. Y’know?”

“This girl,” she repeated what he said, biting down on her bottom lip. Every part of her felt like it was on fire with how worked up she was feeling.

“Fuck, I would have to have something to prove that you’re good at what you do,” Negan educated her on how things would have to work. For the first time, Negan was stuttering. His confidence was gone and it felt like he was just making things up. It was obvious she was upset, so he was just twisting his words. “You should have said something to me four years ago. I could have done something then. Now? I don’t know what you expect me to be able to do. I don’t have the kind of connections that I did then. Anything I have from you is over four…”

“I think it’s time for me to leave,” she threw up her hands, interrupting him so she didn’t have to continue to listen to this. Getting up from the desk, she had to balance her hands firmly over the desk because she was feeling the effects of the alcohol overwhelming her. When she did get enough strength to stand on her feet, she started to head back toward the door, but Negan called out to her. “It was nice talking to you tonight Negan. I’ll see you on Saturday for Jordyn’s event.”

“Please don’t leave like this,” Negan begged, standing up from the desk when she started to head for the stairs. “I don’t like seeing you upset.”

“Then you haven’t been looking at me good enough for the last four years,” she scoffed, expressing that she hadn’t been happy for a very long time. Now, she just had no filtering system. So putting up that façade wasn’t as easy as it was for so long. “Goodnight Negan.”

“You stopped trying too you know,” Negan proclaimed having her stop midway up the steps. What she just heard sent a fiery rush throughout her body. “I would try to talk to you when I was at the apartment. But after I hooked up with Maggie, you blew me off every single time. You didn’t want to be anywhere near me. So this isn’t all my fault. The only time I get to see you is when you come to get Jordyn or we’re in the same place with my daughter. If you wanted to keep our friendship, then you should have tried too. Same thing with working in film. If that’s what you truly wanted, you should have come to me sooner.”

“You just gave up on me Negan,” she blurt out, throwing her hand up in the air. Turning on her heel, her eyes were angry at what he had just threw on her. “You promised to find me a job and you never did. You didn’t even try. You filled my head with empty promises that you never delivered on. Told me over and over again that I was going to be somebody.”

“It’s not my fault that you did nothing with yourself,” Negan snapped at her, immediately regretting it with the way the color drained from her face. His heart was pounding inside of his chest, his fists curled at his sides. Hearing what he had just said confirmed what she thought about herself. That she was nothing. And he agreed with her.

“You seem to forget what I did for you Negan,” she dropped her head down, and in that moment, she looked miserable. “You gave up completely. On yourself. On Jordyn. If it wasn’t for me, you may not even have this job anymore. I took care of Jordyn when you couldn’t. I took care of you when you couldn’t. I’m the person that pulled you out of your darkness.”

Being reminded of that had Negan’s body loosening up, a lump growing in his throat. Dropping his head down, he stroked at the back of his neck and felt guilty, “But I’m glad life worked itself out for you. You’re happy now. Good for you Negan.”

“I never realized how much you hate me,” Negan sneered, letting out an irritated breath when she reached the top step. “You’ve been holding this anger in for…what? All four years?”

“Is that what you really think? That I hate you?” she responded, turning to face him again. That comment had made her emotional and he could see that tears were burning in her eyes. “I don’t hate you.”

God, why did she have to be so fucking emotional in that moment? Clinging to her purse, she let out a tremoring breath when the warmth of a single tear slid down her face, “I never hated you Negan. Sometimes I wish I did.”

“I…” Negan began, his breathing loud enough for her to hear. “I don’t know what to say to you.”

“You don’t have to say anything Negan,” she shrugged, her heart hammering inside of her chest. “I just expect too much from people. I give up everything for Maggie and all she does is shit on me. Her father begs me when he’s dying to take care of her because I’ve been the only constant in her life and look where I am now. You were ready to die and I saved you. Do you think it’s too much for me to wish that someone would do for me what I’ve done for them?”

“I didn’t know that about Maggie’s dad,” Negan retorted, his nose wrinkling wondering if she had told him that in the past and he didn’t remember. “How am I supposed to know those things? With both of you in my life…”

A loud swallow followed from Negan with his long eyelashes fluttering, “I was important to you. And then you dropped me for my best friend. I don’t know what I was expecting from you. Go home to Maggie. The two of you belong together.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Negan inquired, his jaw flexing in response to her comment. “You say that as if it’s a bad thing.”

“No, you and Maggie are the perfect couple Negan. I’m thoroughly happy for you,” she was lying now and she was being an asshole. There was no question there. “I’m fucking miserable Negan and it’d be nice to have someone care for me. But no one does. No one, except your daughter. So please, just forget I ever said anything to you.”

“I don’t want to forget,” Negan insisted when she reached for the door to leave. Running up the stairs, Negan firmly wrapped his fingers around her wrist to keep her from leaving. “Whether you believe it or not, I do care about you. You saved me from myself. You made me realize life was worth living. I’m only happy now because of you. I don’t want you to end up like I was. What can I do to help you? I want the two of us to be close again.”

“I don’t think I’m meant to be happy Negan,” she admitted, a broken breath escaping her lips. Shrugging her shoulders, she huffed when Negan pulled her forward into his arms to give her a big hug. Closing her eyes, she didn’t know how to respond. Part of her was actually furious with Negan for the things he said, but the other part of her was still so hopelessly in love with him. “I’m just here to lift others up and let them be happy.”

“Maybe you can talk to Maggie about her trying to help you get promoted to something else or to get a job elsewhere. A place where you are more suited,” Negan offered a suggestion, tipping his head back to stare into her eyes. Rolling her eyes was almost involuntary. Right now she did most of Maggie’s job except for the exciting parts. Maggie had no interest in helping her. In the past she had already tried to get promoted or placed in another area. And that didn’t work. “Why can’t you do that?”

“I’ve already tried. Maggie had no interest in helping me,” Y/N stated, carefully pulling herself away from Negan. Things were swirling in her mind and she was trying to come up with a better escape to find some kind of happiness. “What about a low position job in film? You know I’m a fast learner. I can start at the bottom and maybe work my way up. I’m okay with that.”

“Y/N, I know where you live which means I know you have to make a certain amount. No job in the lower part of the film business is going to pay you what you make. Even if it’s not as much as you would hope. You’re gonna be living in an apartment with a lot of people. And even if I were to do that, I would have to get a favor from friends because they would have to trust my word,” Negan rambled having her realizing that this would go nowhere. The hope that her time working with Negan would get her a job was shattering right before her. “I just don’t know if…”

“You think I wouldn’t be able to prove that I’m worth the favor?” she wondered, her eyes looking to Negan who stammered to find the right words. It put him on the spot and she knew that he wasn’t going to even bother helping her. “Forget it Negan. I’m sorry I asked. That’s putting you in a tough position and that’s asking a lot from a person I’m not even close to.”

“You’re the moth…” Negan paused, his dimples sinking in with frustration. “You’re like the mother to my child. I’m pretty sure I’m obligated to help you in some fashion here.”

“I’m not the mother to your child though Negan. Lucille was,” she reminded Negan of his late wife hearing the trembling breath that came from his lips. “Please just pretend that I didn’t have this total meltdown tonight. This is why I try to stay away from alcohol. I have a total fucking pity party that no one wants to hear. Not even myself. I’m going to leave and pretend that none of this happened. So hopefully you do too. And then we can just go back to pretending like we’re close when we really aren’t.”

“Stop, just stop. Come over tonight,” Negan spoke in almost a demand and less of a question. It had her scoffing because what in God’s name would that do to help things? “I don’t know when the last time I played video games was. I miss spending time with you. Just…come to my house. I have some sweats that you can hop into. I know my mother would love to see you. She fucking loves you. And Jordyn wouldn’t have a hard time with you coming over. She loves you too. Let’s go to my place. Play some video games. Eat some ice cream and snack on some food that is shitty for us. What do you say?”

“I don’t think Maggie would be okay with that,” she brought forth the most important piece to Negan’s puzzle other than his daughter. Maggie not only hated Negan playing video games, but she would no doubt rage over them spending the night together. Even if they were just hanging out.

“Fuck what Maggie would be okay with. I should be able to spend time with my friends. Especially her best friend. We share the same friend and yet neither one of us spends enough time with her,” Negan was expressive in the way he was trying to get her to agree to coming home with him. After their fight, he felt awful and he didn’t think that she should be alone to herself. There were signs he saw in her that reminded him of when he was at his lowest. “I’ll get my driver to take us back to my place. Come on.”

Thinking things over, she felt Negan reaching for her hands to give them a firm squeeze, “Unless of course you are thinking of taking Shane up on his offer from earlier.”

“I completely already forgot about that guy,” she rolled her eyes, shaking her head in disbelief that Negan even brought him back up. What he was doing was attempting to change the subject to something that might make her laugh.

“I’m not really giving you a choice here, so just come back with me. We’ll get our jackets. We can leave and we will just spend the rest of the night hanging out,” Negan stressed to her what they were going to be doing, reaching for her hand to lead her out of the classroom. Locking things up, Negan kept his fingers hooked with hers to take her to their jackets. “It will be just like the old times.”

“Except in the past you did it with me because you wanted to, not because I made you feel guilty,” she replied back making Negan tense up, stealing a quick look back at her. “You’re doing this because you feel bad for me.”

“And you did it for me because you felt bad for me, so I guess we’re just mirroring each other now. Aren’t we?” Negan countered with a grunt, grabbing her jacket and helping her to put it back on her. Getting his jacket on as well, Negan pulled out his cell phone and shook his head. “I’m gonna take you home. We’re gonna sober you up and we’re gonna spend the night talking. Which is what I want to do. I don’t do anything I don’t want to do. So come on…”

Hooking his fingers with hers, Negan led her over toward the door to wait for his driver. Licking his lips, Negan looked to her with a frown, “I still consider you one of my best friends. One of the most important people in my life. I don’t know how you don’t see that.”

“I’m not out to make you feel bad Negan,” she backed down on her emotions since Negan really wasn’t the one at fault for all of her misery. “I just miss the way things used to be.”

“So do I,” Negan insisted using his free hand to place it in over his chest as if to defend himself again. “Some of my best memories are with you. We used to have so much fun together. Some of the stuff we did together after hours while checking tests were my favorite. Or when we’d lay up all night in my bed talking. I’ve never been able to talk to someone like I can you.”

“I felt the same way about you,” she felt an ache at the center of her chest. By the expression over Negan’s features, she could tell that he genuinely felt bad about all of this. And at least that mattered. That he felt some kind of emotions over the way she felt. It would have been worse if he just blew her off. “You and Jordyn brought a lot of happiness into my life.”

“I’d like to think we still could,” Negan stammered, turning further to face her. Grabbing both her hands in his again, he stroked his thumbs in over the back of them. “There are no rules saying that we have to stop talking because of Maggie. You can be the best friend to both me and her. Spending time with you should just be normal.”

“I don’t think Maggie is going to agree with that,” she was straight forward about things, still not wanting to elaborate completely with her emotions.

“Well in this case, I really don’t care what Maggie wants or what she is going to agree to. I was friends with you before I started dating her. You’re the predominant female figure in my daughter’s life and I feel things for you that no one will understand so she’s just gonna have to deal,” Negan slurred, leaning down again to pull her in for a hug. Holding tightly to her had her regretting everything she said tonight. For the most part she always did a good job at keeping her mouth shut, but tonight she was just unloading. When Negan realized that his driver was there, he pulled back and urged her to follow him. Helping her into the car, Negan got in behind her with them getting comfortable. “Are you cold?”

“I’ll be fine,” she assured him, but he ignored her completely taking his jacket off and putting it over her lap to help warm up her legs. Adjusting the heat, Negan was moving all over the place with them headed to his home. Dropping down beside her again, Negan huffed out and looked down at what he was wearing. “What?”

“I can’t wait to get out of this,” Negan declared, palming down over his chest toward his abdomen. It brought attention to the vest that he was wearing. The suit was perfectly tailored to his slender body and she didn’t understand why he hated it so much. “My sweatpants and my t-shirt are calling to me. I hear them from here.”

“I know you hate dressing up, but you look really good,” she complimented him, gazing over at him from where she was seated beside him. “You make a suit look good. You’re naturally very handsome, but put you in something like that? It’s breathtaking.”

“You’re sweet,” Negan winked, nudging her playfully with his arm. “I always hated wearing these things. Lucille used to beg me to dress up in them all the time and I just never felt comfortable in them. It’s just not who I am.”

“Comfortable or not, you look really good. Before you take it off, you should take a photo of yourself for me,” she was actually pretty thankful that he had turned the heat up because she was genuinely cold at first. Now she was warm beneath his jacket.

“Deal,” Negan snickered, dropping his head back against the backseat of the car. “What about you? You should dress up like that more often.”

“I run around too much to dress up like this,” she noted thinking about her every day life. “I don’t get to dress up much because if I did, I don’t think it would work well. I’m up and down all the time. So it’s comfortable clothes for me. Not that I would prefer those, but I think I need to wear them.”

“Have you thought about taking a vacation for yourself?” Negan wondered, rubbing his palms at his thighs to warm himself up. “It sounds like you could use a break from your life.”

“I don’t think Maggie could handle that,” she commented what she knew to be true about the woman she spent almost every day with. If she wasn’t there, she was certain that Maggie would fall apart. “I also don’t think I could afford that. Having to pay for the apartment completely now, I just can’t afford to get away.”

“Is Maggie really that helpless?” Negan scoffed, his face scrunching up. Clearly he had caught on to the many times that she had stressed how much Maggie needed her. “By the way she talks about her job, it sounds like she has everything under control.”

“She does,” she agreed with the statement, getting more relaxed in her seat. “Because of me. Without me, everything would fall apart.”

“I see,” Negan clicked his tongue at the top of his mouth, gazing over her for a long moment before speaking again. “Maggie is your best friend as far as I’m aware. How come you don’t feel comfortable talking to her about all of this? If the two of you have been close for so long, you’d think you’d be able to talk things out with her.”

“It’s complicated,” that was really the best way to sum things up with Maggie. Actions spoke louder than words and it was hard for Y/N to really think that Maggie saw Y/N as her best friend. Letting her thoughts linger, Y/N shifted in the seat and turned to face Negan better. “Can I ask you something personal?”

A wicked smirk tugged at Negan’s features, she knew that was a stupid question. During her entire time being around Negan, he was never one to hold back on things. So for her to ask that was just stupid in general.

“With Maggie…” she began, her throat going dry since she was touching areas that she had always wondered about but never had the strength to truly ask. “What was it about Maggie that made you fall for her?”

“Oh, not what I was expecting,” Negan’s eyebrows bounced up, biting down on his bottom lip while considering his answer. “Do you remember what Lucille looked like from photos?” Negan looked to her with his big eyes and Y/N slowly nodded. “I feel like Maggie and Lucille physically have a lot of similarities. Lucille had that southern twang too and I really like that. Plus, they were both spitfires. There are some negatives of course about Maggie that I see, but sometimes I think I compare her too harshly to Lucille because Lucille was the love of my life. No one is ever gonna be Lucille, you know?”

“So you got with her because she reminded you of Lucille?” she confirmed what she thought she was hearing. It looked like Negan was going to agree with it at first, but then tipped his head from side to side.

“That and she was super persistent,” Negan recalled the past, his face scrunching up when he thought back on things. “We met that first time she came by to drop something off for you. Over the next few days, she kept coming back to the classroom to talk. Flirting, a lot. And of course, she’s a very beautiful girl. Charming as hell.”

“Come again,” she felt her heart skip a beat listening to Negan talk about Maggie. “Did you just say that she kept coming back to talk to you after that day?”

“Yeah,” Negan responded noticing the color draining from Y/N’s face. “I thought she was coming around looking for you the first few times, but I realized she was just coming by to flirt with me. I thought it was cute. She was laying it on thick. I took the hint and that’s why I showed up at your apartment that day with the flowers.”

“I see,” Y/N felt her face growing hot as Negan continued to talk about how him and Maggie actually happened. Hearing the truth about things hurt considering she told Maggie long before all that how she felt about Negan. Maggie was one of two people she told everything to back then. So to hear that her best friend knew that she was in love with Negan and still went after him so hard hurt. “And after the flowers?”

“She’d come and visit me every day in class,” Negan followed up her question having the fire growing inside of Y/N’s veins. That day Negan had showed up with the flowers, Maggie promised that she wouldn’t let things go any further between her and Negan. “The first time we slept together was the time you walked in on us. She invited me over to the apartment and she pretty much jumped me. Assured me that you wouldn’t be coming back home because you were out with some guy…”

“Jesus,” she blurt out, lowering her head to pinch at the bridge of her nose. A confused breath escaped Negan’s throat at her response. See, for Negan this likely didn’t make sense or mean anything. But Y/N was starting to piece things together. Maggie did all of it on purpose. Maggie took the man that Y/N loved just to prove that she could and Y/N never left. “I’m so fucking stupid.”

“That’s a weird comment to make after what I just said,” Negan slurred, not sure how to respond to how she reacted. “Obviously, if I would have known that you were coming home that night, I would have never allowed us to do that…there. That wasn’t how I pictured you seeing my dick the first time. You know?”

By the expression she gave him, Negan could tell that she wasn’t happy. He was trying to crack a joke there and it wasn’t really landing, “What’s wrong?”

“You really don’t know, do you?” she exhaled loudly leaving Negan to think about her question. It had Negan shaking his head and a tiny smile tugged at his lips.

“I’m not a psychic here love,” Negan reasoned with her, tapping his hands on his knees. Throwing his hands up, he was waiting for some kind of response from her, but he wasn’t getting one.

“So you chose Maggie because she was persistent and reminded you of Lucille?” she was fighting getting emotional over everything, just trying to sum up all of the details from Negan. “That’s what I’m gathering? And she’s obviously charming and good looking.”

“Yeah, I mean she was the first person interested in me after Lucille passed away,” Negan commented, throwing his right hand up in the air sensing that the vibe of everything was different after he answered her question. “It just felt like it made sense for me to be with Maggie.”

“The first person interested in you…” she couldn’t help but laugh, sliding further away from Negan on the backseat. Once again she became overwhelmed and severely angry. “And what did you think of me?”

“What do you mean?” Negan wasn’t sure where she was headed, noticing the distance that she put between them. “Do you mean when I first met you? I thought you were a very sweet, hard working student. I was impressed with how quickly you picked up on things. How hard you worked to be my best student.”

“By the time you met Maggie? What did you think about me then?” she threw it out there deeply wondering if Negan was completely blind to things. His lips parted, his eyes narrowing showing that he was considering her question. The sound of her phone buzzing drew her attention, but she didn’t look at it just yet.

“You were my angel,” Negan finally answered, shrugging his shoulders as he spoke. “Everything around me was falling apart and you were there to hold me up when all I wanted to do was fall. You made me whole again. As you may have picked up on, in a way I do consider you to be Jordyn’s mother. Jordyn never knew Lucille and all she has ever known is you. In the first year or two of losing Lucille, you were a better parent than I was. You’re like the co-parent to my daughter. So I saw you as one of the most loving, loyal, sweet women I’ve ever known.”

It was hard to respond to that. Maggie was beautiful. Maggie was charming. Maggie reminded him of Lucille, but she was his angel that saved him. Again her phone vibrated and instead of responding to Negan she looked down to see that it was a few alerts that were sent to Maggie’s e-mail. Opening them up, she realized that it was a note from one of the team leaders of a project with a new client trying to check in to make sure that Maggie would be ready for tomorrow. Apparently their meeting got pushed forward a day and that was one of the e-mails that she didn’t respond to earlier in the morning.

“Great,” she muttered under her breath. Now she knew that she had to get a hold of Maggie before work tomorrow. Would she even be capable of that? Y/N knew that once Maggie was gone from work she didn’t want to be bothered. Which meant that she would have to drop by Maggie’s apartment in the morning to grab the project that she had given Maggie a few days ago to insure that it would be there for Maggie in the morning for her meeting.

“Not the answer you wanted?” Negan spoke up after the silence, getting Y/N to lift her eyes from her phone.

Why be honest with him at this point? It wasn’t going to get her anywhere. Especially since he made it clear that he very much cared for Maggie.

“I could say things, but ultimately? No matter how I feel, I love your daughter,” she didn’t want to ignore the main part of Negan’s comment with her being viewed as Jordyn’s mother. “I would do anything for that little girl and she means the world to me. I’ve said that many times tonight. I’m blessed to be able to be part of her life.”

“I’m really happy you love my daughter,” Negan started, his breathing growing uneven with him shrugging his shoulders. “But what about everything else? Was that not a good enough answer for you? Why don’t you tell me what you wanted to hear.”

Clasping her fingers tightly to the cell phone, she bit down on her bottom lip. Feeling her pulse jumping in her throat, she considered the truth, but knew it would only lead to her being further hurt, “It was a perfect answer Negan. Thank you.”

“You’re lying,” Negan accused, outstretching his fingers to drag them across her shoulder. “You don’t lie to me.”

“Now I don’t know what you want me to say,” she whispered, a lump growing in her throat with the way that Negan was staring out at her expectantly. Shrugging her shoulders, she didn’t know what to say to him anymore. “Some things are better off left unsaid. There are a lot of things I said tonight that I should have never said anyways.”

“They are weighing heavy on you, so why not fucking say something?” Negan snorted, the bridge of his nose creasing when he searched for answers.

“Negan,” she bit down on her bottom lip, letting curiosity get the best of her. “Do you think I’m pretty?”

“Of course I do,” Negan was quick to respond, not even taking the time to think about his answer. “I told you tonight that I thought you were very beautiful. When I saw you in that dress, my brain very much enjoyed it. I know that you are feeling down on yourself, but you should never doubt your looks because you’re a very beautiful girl. Inside and out.”

“Why did you never make a move on me then?” she whispered, hating herself the moment she asked it. The expression Negan gave her was more than enough for her to wish that the world opened up and swallowed her whole.

Instead of giving her an answer, Negan cracked a smile and started to chuckle which had some color flooding into her face. Clearing his throat, Negan sat forward in the seat, “Jesus, you’re actually serious.”

“Fuck, you are so bad at this,” she half laughed, dropping her head down to bury it in her hand. Just by that reaction alone, she knew that Negan never saw her as a potential love interest. Nor did he want to be with her. “I have to be just about the stupidest, most pathetic, undesirable woman in the world to you.”

“Goddamn. Could you be any fucking nastier to yourself?” Negan grunted, the lines in his forehead growing showing his displeasure for the way she was talking about herself. “You’re right. You need to stay away from alcohol because you are usually the most positive person I know. I’ve never seen this side of you.”

“I need to get something done for Maggie or I’m never gonna hear the end of it,” she changed the subject looking to her phone again. If Maggie wasn’t prepared for the meeting with the new client to be pushed up things would go horribly tomorrow. Noticing that they were stopped at a corner that wasn’t too far away from Maggie’s apartment, she slid in closer to the door. Tugging Negan’s jacket from her legs, she set it beside her and swallowed down hard. “I’m just going to get out here. I hope you have a good night. Give your mother all my love and the same to Jordyn.”

“Wait, hey…” Negan called out to her, but before he could stop her she had already gotten out of the car and started swiftly walking down the street after closing the door behind her. It was likely that Negan’s driver hadn’t noticed that she had gotten out of the car because once the light changed, the car had driven away which she was thankful for.

----

Tags: @slutlanna976 @fuckthis-and-fuckthat @jennydehavilland @pixelb4rbie @ibelongtonegan

@smallsadjellyfish @labyrinthofheartagrams @msjamesmarch @thebeautysurrounds @hotfornegan

@redmercysugar @caprithebunny @tuttifuckinfruitty @emoryhemsworth @a-girl-interupted

@akumune @stoneyggirl2 @xsarcasticwriterx @haleygreen23 @xhannahbananax03

@sanctuaryforthelost @burningredaffair @killaweiser @dead-of-niight @ayumi-wolf

@promiscuousbarnes @lanadelnegan @peachihellcat @dilfsandmartinis

#Jeffrey Dean Morgan #Negan #The Walking Dead #Negan fanfiction #negan x reader #negan x you #Negan Smith #The Walking Dead fanfiction #twd fanfiction #Negan Imagine #threads of desire

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28gaugeshotgunshells · 7 months ago

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TWO'S COMPANY THREE'S A CROWD

.- TWD, Rick Grimes x F!Reader x Shane Walsh -.

--------------------------------------------------

A/N: I think this will be at least two parts, but enjoy the first for now! This is written as a bit of an AU? lol, not sure how to exactly describe it. Reader is in Lori's place and it is set during mid or so season 2. I started TWD awhile ago and wanted to write for it. I've never really posted my works before, so hopefully this will be enjoyable for y'all. --------------------------------------------------

Above the sanctuary that was Hershel's farm, was the marmalade sky; perfectly painted with the color of the setting sun. Gentle clouds existed there, and the sight almost made you forget about the disquiet horrors that laid just outside the property line.

A tired sigh falls past your lips as your now callused fingers dig into the damp fabric of the shirt you sit and wash. A dark ragged cloth is clutched in your hand as you use it to scrub and scrub at the clashing red marred into the cerulean material.

Blood.

In the past, you'd only ever really see it when Carl got a bloody nose or whenever you managed to get a paper cut. Now it was anything but a rare sight. As your thoughts wander, your gaze pins into soapy scrubbed out shirt below, eyes burning into the stain. You knew it would never come out, and yet you still promptly dunked it into the cool water of the bucket below. Because you still had to try.

Try and hope. It felt like that's all you ever did anymore, two things that never ever guaranteed pay off. You swish the shirt around in the lukewarm water below, being faintly reminded of the washer you used to have; the haunt of the sweet domesticity you used to know ravaging your mind, possibly even sanity.

"..." You sigh out the built up inner tension, and switch your focus towards wringing out this shirt. Your hands diligently work to twist and curl the wet fabric, squeezing out the water it holds inside.

The only thing interrupting the motions you go through however is the distinct noise of crunching grass, one that usually alluded to nearby footsteps. Your head turns, preferring not to be ignorant to what the source was.. just in case. Although as soon as you spot the source in question, you curse the curiosity driven by your own paranoia.

It was Shane, his figure standing tall and imposing. Most of his impose being due to.. your history. His deceit about the death of your husband, what the both of you shared amidst his lie, the stinging sentiment you felt at the mere thought of him.

God, you really didn't want to talk to him right now.

Your grip on the shirt tightens as you swiftly turn your head back around, stand up, and then speed walk away towards the clothes line. hopefully he'd take the hint from your cold shoulder move. Alas, that hope of yours was severely underestimating just how stubborn Shane Walsh could be.

Within an instant you heard the simple crunches of grass become more urgent as Shane increased his charge towards you. He called out your name, his tone commanding and yet speckled with a sort of desperateness. He wanted you to hear him out.

"Hey hey- Let me tell you somethin'!"

No. You weren't going to do this, not today. He knew you were upset with him, why couldn't he just let you be? And so, without stopping you reach the clothes line and throw up the newly washed shirt, dead set on ignoring Shane.

It was regrettably, not as easy as that though, because as soon as you turned around you were face to face with the former officer. Instantly your face scrunched in annoyance as your mouth flew open to protest his presence, maybe even to berate him, but Shane spoke quicker.

"No no no- wait, just a minute. We need to talk."

"I don't have anything to say to you." You practically growled back as you hurriedly move to leave.

He steps directly in your way, hands reaching out and grasping your hips. "(Name)."

You hiss at him, "Don't touch me!"

This earns an exasperated sigh from him, "Ho-"

"WHUT!" You hear a shout from the distance, your heads turn instantly. It's Rick and he is MAD. "WHUT THE HULL!" Rick comes running full speed at you guys, and while Shane's distracted you take the opportunity to shake him off and step back.

"SHANE WAT ARE YOU DOIN' MANE!?" Rick says super mad as he speed walks over with his hands on his hips.

"NAWRICAHEASHABWALKOVERHERAAA!" Shane shouts back!!

You have no fucking clue what he's saying because his accent goes crazy!

"NAWWSHANEDONTYOUHAHABHAWSAYINGTHATANMMAYY!! YOU KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF MAH WIFE!" Rick shouts back.

"YOU KNOW I'M THE BETTER MANE RICK!!" Then Shane and Rick get so mad they press their foreheads together and start shouting a bunch of southern insults.

"You're an egg-suckin' dawg, Shane lemme tell you what!!" Rick shouts.

"Oh nawh mane!" Shane yells back, "YOUR FACE REMINDS ME OF A RUN-DOWN HONKY TONK!!"

"AY AY AY!" Rick growls Rick throws his right hook at Shane, knocking the other on his ass. Then Shane lunges forward like a fury-filled Chihuahua and tackles Rick to the grass.

"YOU BETTER STOP!! STOP!!" You shout to no avail, watching in anger as the two bros duke it out on the ground.

You get so mad that you pick up a large rock and hurl it at Rick's butt, earning a loud "OW!!!!!!" It doesn't stop them though.

Luckily though, you aren't the only ones on the farm and soon enough Hershel comes running out onto the grounds. "OH NOAT ON MAH FARM!" Hershel says, storming over.

"Hershel you have to stop them!" You plead to the old man, wanting help with their outburst.

"STOP IT YOU TURDBURGULARS! YOU-" then Hershel says a REALLY REALLY bad word and it makes you gasp and cover your mouth in shock.

You look over at Rick and Shane and they are also really shocked, instantly they stop fighting and take ten steps away from eachother. Shane looks.. traumatized, but Rick looks pissed!

Apparently Maggie was there too because you see her storm up behind Hershel. "Dad!!! You can't say that!" She whisper shouts at him all mad.

"OH JUST WAIT UNTIL MAH TWITTER FOLLOWERS HEAR ABOUT THIS ONE!" Rick roars, clearly offended.

Then Maggie ushers Hershel off, leading him back into the house quickly. They BASICALLY run away to avoid Rick cancelling them. Distantly you hear Hershel shouting about how "Itsa mah farm!" and "I miss the old days!"

You're also pretty sure you heard him let out a large old man fart, and then you saw a lump form in the back of his pants.. But anyway! You hear loud aggressive breathing and you look back at Shane and Rick who are both now pissed again. You think Rick knows you cheated now.. you didn't want to deal with that.. so...

"Sorry guys Sophia wanted me to braid her hair today." You say before dinking away as fast as possible.

"But Sophia is gone.." Shane whispers quietly to himself.... as he stares at your butt disappearing into the distance..

As you dink away you sigh in relief, literally thanking god that you didn't have to deal with those bumfucks! Although.. you aren't relieved for long because suddenly just then your stomach starts hurting like a bitch!

"WHY DO YOU HATE ME!" You shout at your belly as you boom over next to Dale's RV.

You fall to the ground and clutch your stomach in pain. Oh no.. Diarrhea! You prep yourself for a shart or something but then you just end up puking so you're like oh ok. You hurl into the grass next to the trailer and it kind of gets all over the side of Dale's RV because you don't puke straight down EVER. After like a minute of straight hurling, you finally finish and then Dale jumps out of the RV.

You look up at him from the ground.. his jaw is dropped and his eyes are fully widened. "HOLY COW! I almost thought I was in the exorcist for a minute!" He exclaims.

"Um what..." You reply.. cringe...

"Are you okay?" Dale asks.

"Yes." You reply, not wanting to talk about it..

"Marriage problems..?" Dale asks again..

"How did you know?!" You reply, finally looking up at him in surprise.

Dale shrugs, "I don't know I just guessed."

"Um okay Dale.."

Then Dale comes up next to you and crouches, placing a sweaty hand on your shoulder. "So.. (Name).. It's very common for married couples to fight when the hankypanky gets boring.." He begins. "I am actually a twister champion just so you know.."

"No Dale."

"Aw.."

Dale looks down at the ground all sad. "At least tell Rick I like his armpits."

"NO DALE!"

"Aw.." Then Dale walks back into the trailer.

You shake your head! Bro was wilding after his crazy wife died! First the exorcist and now he's trying to form a threesom- wait.. the exorcist.. Your eyes trail up to the puke on the RV. You remember what the bathrooms always looked like while you were pregnant with Carl.. insanely puke ridden. OH NO! WAS SHANE EVEN PULLING OUT WHILE YOU WERE BUMP AND DUMPING?! (dumping turds and wasting all the toilet paper btw)

Immediately you jump upwards, you run all the way over to Daryl's hobo homeless core set up on the side of the farm. You see Daryl sitting on the ground next to a weird little stick built fire.. he was diddling with a dead rabbit.

"EW!" You gag at the sight. "UGH! DARYL!"

"WHut!" Daryl shouts back, angry as always.

"I NEED YOU TO GO ON A RUN!" You hiss.

"OH HELL NAW OLIVE OIL YO ASS TRIPINGN!" Daryl roars back, clearly not going to do what you ask. What a WHORE!

"URRGGH!! FUCK OFF!" You flip him off, run up to his fire, kick dirt in it to make it go out and then you run away to find Glenn.

"WHERE IS HE.. WHERE IS HE!!" You search the farm like a hawk as you look around for that sumabitch.

IT TAKES YOU LIKE 7 MINUTES BUT EVENUTALLY YOU SPOT HIM DOING SOMETHING YOU DONT CARE WHAT HE'S DOING WHATEVER!! You run up to him.

"Glenn! There you are!" You hiss at him. He looks so confused and concerned.

"Uh- wha- huh?"

"I NEED YOU TO GO ON A RUN FOR ME DAMMIT!"

He flinches slightly when you shout, clearly surprised at how you're directing your random fury onto him. ".. For what?"

You calm down a bit as you pause to explain the predicament at hand.. you take in a deep breath.. "Well it's a special stick that changes patterns when you go pee on it.."

#TWD #Rick Grimes #Shane Walsh #X Reader #Rick Grimes x Reader #F! Reader #AFAB #The Walking Dead #Shane Walsh x Reader #Daryl Dixon #twd rick #Fanfic #fanfiction #twd fanfiction #twd x reader #carl grimes #glenn rhee #maggie rhee

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anna-hawk · 1 year ago

Text

I want you

Shane Walsh x F!Reader

Summary: You're at a surprise birthday party in your honor and Shane can't take his eyes off you.

Warnings/Tags: semi-public sex, slight uniform kink, birthday smut

WC: 3k // Explicit 🔞

Also on AO3

For @darlingshane I know that I'd told you that I'd be writing you some soft Sam Rossi smut this time, but I didn't have time, and then we had that conversation about Shane being prime thirst material. I played around with this scenario like a sequel to “Just the tip” for a couple of weeks, but I thought that it could be fun for a birthday party too and turned it into something for you. I wrote this today, mostly at work, and my brain has been in Shane thirst mode the whole day😝. I know how much you love him, so I hope you'll enjoy this little gift, even if it's not Sam. Again, happy birthday!!! 🧡🧡🧡

As Shane chatted with a small group of friends, his eyes flitted over to where you were standing on the other side of the room. You were surrounded by a throng of friends still laughing about your shocked face as you’d walked into your surprise birthday party earlier that evening.

Shane’s shift had ended in time for him to make it to your best friend’s place and be there for that particular moment, but he was still wearing his deputy uniform. He’d brought a change of clothes, but between the moment of you getting to your friend’s house and everyone jumping from behind furniture to surprise you, followed by people running to you excitedly, Shane hadn’t bothered with it, preferring to watch you laughing and grinning happily.

Still looking at you and barely listening to the conversation being held around him, he smiled to himself as he thought back to the moment he’d finally managed to reach you to be able to give out his own birthday wishes. You hadn’t seen each other at home today, with you having an early shift while he had a later one. He’d sent you a text, of course, but he’d needed to tell you face to face.

“Happy birthday, Darlin’,” he’d rumbled, as he’d wrapped his arms around your waist.

“Mmh, thank you, Deputy,” you’d replied with a purr, taking hold of the lapels of his uniform shirt to pull him closer as he’d kissed you.

He’d grinned against your lips, knowing how much you enjoyed seeing him in uniform. There had been a few catcalls when Shane had dipped you slightly, which had the both of you laughing as you straightened, and he took a step away from you, one hand at the small of your back. As the time had gone on, you’d slowly parted, following a conversation here or there, until you’d been at one end of the living room and he at the other.

Shane’s eyes roved over your body, the clothes you’d chosen for tonight highlighting all your assets in ways that had Shane’s hands twitching with the need to touch you. Damn, he couldn’t remember the last time you’d had sex. Well, no, that was a lie. It had only been a few days ago, but what he wanted to do to you right now was more than just some slow, albeit satisfying morning sex with him lying behind you as he thrust inside you deeply.

Since you were facing towards him, you instantly caught his eye as you lifted your eyes while still speaking with your friends. Your lips pulled up for him, but you didn’t stop in what you were saying, your words completely unintelligible to him over the gaggle of other conversations.

“I want you,” Shane mouthed, moving his lips slowly while staring right into your eyes.

He knew you’d gotten each word, since your eyes widened briefly before you blinked rapidly, and you visibly faltered in what you were saying, completely caught off guard. Shane smirked, keeping his laser focus on you as he watched you grinning and looking away, resuming your conversation while clearly flustered. Shane forced in a deep breath of air at the lust sparking through him at your reaction. His grin widened as you glanced back at him several times, biting over your lower lip with an amused, and definitely turned on expression.

“What do you think, Shane?”

Shane’s attention snapped back to the people he’d been talking to, realizing he’d completely tuned them out in his observation of you.

“Sorry, what?”

It was your best friend’s husband who’d asked the question, and Shane did his best to give him his attention again. As he answered, however, he still wasn’t able to keep his eyes away from you all the way.

A moment later, there was a bit of a commotion as he saw your group stepping away from each other, all of you laughing and looking to the floor. You were grimacing through your laugh, one of your hands and the hem of your shirt covered in some liquid, while a glass of punch lay on the floor. Shane watched you hurry off towards a corridor lying to one side of the house, while laughing as you called to your friends that you were heading to the bathroom to get cleaned up over your shoulder.

More arousal ran through his belly at the idea that popped into his head. The bathroom was all the way down that long corridor.

“I’ll be back in a sec,” he said to everyone in general thirty seconds after you'd vanished, not bothering to check whether anyone heard him or not as he followed after you.

Quickly glancing around himself to make sure that he wasn't attracting any attention, Shane casually walked towards the bathroom, hurrying his steps only once he was out of sight. Once at the door, he grinned wolfishly and pulled down the handle, opening it to find you standing, shirtless, in front of the sink, washing out the stain on your shirt.

“Hey, it's occu - oh, Shane, hey.”

The tension of surprise at someone walking in on you like that evaporated as soon as you realized who was at the door. Shane walked inside and closed the door, before locking it while still facing you, his hand at his back to do so.

“Shane?” You questioned with a small frown after hearing the telltale click of the lock.

Your confusion quickly made way for understanding, however, and Shane had no doubt that it was from how he was looking at you, since your eyes widened and your lips parted, the shirt hanging limply from your fingers.

“Shane,” you repeated, this time with amusement and warning in your tone.

Shane paid the warning part no mind as he advanced on you, his eyes traveling over your bare skin, the lacy bralette the only thing covering your chest. He chuckled when you took a step backwards, only to be caught between him and the sink. He lifted one of his hands to trail the fingers down your collarbone and chest in a featherlight caress. The fingertips stopped at the top of the bralette, and he stroked an index along the whole edge, from one breast to the other.

“Shane,” you breathed, the shirt falling to the ground as you let go of it, your chest already rising and falling quickly, much to Shane's satisfaction. “We're not home.”

Shane stared up at you from where he'd had his attention on your breasts, looking into your eyes from under his lashes. He smirked; your complaint sounded far too feeble to be given much consideration. His fingers went over the edge of the bralette and cupped the side of your breast lightly, the thumb flicking over your pebbling nipple, back and forth. Shane saw you close your eyes on a gasp, followed by a small whimper that was mostly held in by how you were biting your bottom lip. While he kept up his teasing, his other hand slid over your waist and to the center of your back, the touch as light as the one he'd bestowed on your chest. When he lightly tweaked your nipple between index and middle finger, you gripped the edges of the sink.

“Shane, please,” you begged, panting as Shane undid your bralette with his other hand, making the material fold and fall down your arms, revealing your breasts to his gaze.

“Please what?” he smiled, ducking his head until he caught the other nipple between his teeth and pulled on it lightly. “Hm?”

Your hand flew to your mouth to cover it and stop the long moan threatening to come out of you.

“Shane… I - ah.”

Shane took the nub into his mouth and sucked on it hungrily, while throwing glances up at your face. You'd opened your eyes again, halfway at least, and we're staring down at him with a dazed expression from over your hand. Fuck, but he loved rendering you to the point of speechlessness. He put a hand on the sink behind you for balance and used the other one to open your pants and slide his hand inside. The hand you still had on the sink yourself flew to his shirt and gripped it tightly as he teased a finger over your damp folds. You bit into your hand as he started to move his hand back and forth, as much as he could within the confines of your pants.

“Please what?” Shane reiterated, circling your clit with his pointer finger and grinning devilishly as he straightened to lean over your slumped form. His lips touched the back of your hand that was still over your mouth as he spoke.

You lowered said hand and stared at him with your pupils fully blown.

“Make me come,” you breathed.

“Mh, anything for the birthday girl,” Shane rumbled, his hard cock straining against his pants at your tone of voice.

Pulling away from you as well as removing his hand from between your legs, Shane grabbed you by the hips and turned you around. You gasped and caught yourself over the sink, staring at Shane through the mirror in front of you. Your eyes grew wide as Shane tugged your pants and underwear down to the middle of your thighs and pushed you over the white porcelain until you were braced on it with your elbows. He could tell that you hadn’t expected him to fuck you, your expression full of apprehension for a moment before your eyes met his again and you settled. The emotions running through him at the utter trust you placed in him, even for something like that, made him release a harsh breath, his dick throbbing in his uniform. Making quick work of his pants himself, he pulled his boxers just low enough to take out his length and balls, the cool air on his raging erection making him shiver. Staring between your legs at your center, your flesh already glistening from your lust, Shane had the sudden desire to sink to his knees and lap all your juices up, slowly take you apart until you came on his tongue. He took in another deep breath, his knees already starting to give way on their own, his body knowing how much he loved making you writhe with his mouth.

No time, however.

Instead, Shane leaned over your back and pressed a kiss between your shoulder blades, before looking at you through the mirror and talking against your ear.

“Seein’ you like that, already so ready for me, with your pretty lil pussy drippin’ for me… Wanna fuckin’ eat you all up, Darlin’.” He rubbed the tip of his cock through your slit, gathering your wetness and making him feel how hot you were, while not even pushing inside yet. His balls tightened at the anticipation of the warmth and tightness he’d been experiencing after filling you.

You closed your eyes, a full-body shiver going through you at his words.

“Please,” you uttered, desperate and needy, and Shane wouldn’t have been able to wait any longer even if he’d wanted to.

“Look at me.” It sounded like a command, but Shane only needed to see the pleasure filling your eyes at the same time he filled you.

He pushed inside you slowly, savoring the way you squeezed around him, wet and hot heat enveloping him and making him groan deeply, while his eyes never looked away from your face. The way your eyebrows knitted together faintly, how your mouth parted on a long moan, only to be quieted by your hand, were things Shane would never get enough of watching. Leaning up and taking you with him with a hand placed between your breasts, Shane made you cant your hips in such a way that he had the perfect angle to thrust inside you. Which he did after pulling all the way out, the tip of his cock right outside your entrance, to slam back inside with a sharp snap of his hips. Your eyes went wide with the shock of pleasure it delivered, and Shane had to cover your hand over your mouth to help muffle your scream of bliss. Since Shane had his hand over your mouth, his hand larger than yours, thus more effective in keeping in your noises, you slipped your hand free and put both on the edge of the sink for some leverage against his thrusts. Shane wrapped his other hand around your throat, pulling your head slightly back against his shoulder, making your back arch and push your ass out even more.

“Fuck, just look at you,” Shane growled against your hair, watching your reflection, and the bouncing of your breasts as he fucked you faster and faster, knowing that he couldn’t take his time like he wanted to. “Look at yourself,” he continued with more intent, while slipping the hand from your throat between your legs. “So fuckin’ pretty like that.”

Your eyes fell shut for the first time when Shane began rubbing over your slippery clit while still fucking you at a fast pace, your body trembling so hard with pleasure that Shane had to tighten his hold on you.

“Yeah, that’s my girl. Come for me, baby. Gonna squeeze my dick so - fuck!” Shane snarled the last part in pleasure when your walls clamped down around him as your orgasm hit you, his hips stuttering briefly before he kept on filling you again and again.

Little keening sounds, that were getting louder as your release reached its highest point, slipped through Shane’s palm and forced him to press his hand even harder over your mouth. To be honest, Shane wanted nothing more than to hear you scream, the others be damned, but he knew very well that you wouldn’t be able to face your friends again if they heard you. As soon as your orgasm began to subside, Shane let go of you to pull out and started stripping his cock with ruthless movements, your juices making his strokes oh so easy.

“Wh - what are you doing?” you asked, panting harshly from your slumped position over the sink, watching Shane through the mirror. “Want you to come inside me.”

Shane groaned and closed his eyes at the words, his dick spilling out more pre-come.

“Fuck, really wanna do it, Darlin’, but we gotta head out soon, and you'd regret it, trust me,” Shane admitted in a rush. Despite how much he wanted to fill you up, he knew that you didn't have the time to fully clean up before someone came looking for you.

Shane stared at you as you suddenly whirled around to face him, your beautiful face still carrying the signs of pleasure. Leaning in to kiss him briefly, Shane watched you fall to your knees and open your mouth, your tongue lolling out of it expectantly.

“Gimme your load, Deputy Walsh,” you spurred on with a wanton gaze, letting your tongue graze the head of his cock. “All of it.”

Shane gritted his teeth and caught himself with his free hand on the sink behind your head as he stroked himself wildly over your upturned face. You always knew what to say to drive him wild, and playing with his title and submissiveness was always sure to get him there. As his balls drew up with his approaching release, Shane reached for your hair to get your head exactly where he wanted it. He locked his knees as he came hard, his hot come shooting all over your tongue and lips. You held there, gazing at him with utter satisfaction as you waited for him to be done before drawing your tongue back into your mouth and visibly swallowing. Shane exhaled a sharp breath as he watched you, his cock twitching a few more times at the sight you made.

“C’mere,” he rasped, as he stooped to catch your forearm and pull you up to him.

After kissing your temple, Shane retrieved the shirt and bralette, while you pulled up and fastened your pants.

“At least the stain’s gone,” you said as you examined the shirt once you’d put the bralette back on, grimacing at the wet spot against your waist where the stain had been.

Shane straightened his clothes as well, and you made sure to check if everything was in place before going for the door. You found your best friend in front of it, her fist lifted as if about to knock.

“Oh, hey, I was wondering what was going on.”

Shane felt you stilling behind him in shock, probably wondering if she'd heard anything. Your friend’s eyes went from Shane and back to you a few times, her expression searching, but Shane grinned at her charmingly and shrugged as he stepped out into the corridor.

“Uh, we… just tried to get the stain out,” you explained as you followed him, pointing at the shirt and where the stain had been. “And it worked.”

“Yeah… tried real hard,” Shane added, chuckling under his breath when your friend didn’t look at him.

You shot him a warning glance, but Shane still saw the way you tried to hide your own grin as you realized that she hadn’t heard anything.

“Oh, good,” she smiled, before linking her arm through yours. “Come on, I came looking for you cause we’re about to bring the cake in.”

“Chocolate and cookie cake?” Shane wondered from behind the two women.

“It better be,” you laughed, turning to face him with a wide smile.

The guests had formed a large circle around the main table, people turning to you excitedly as they saw you coming back. It was just in time to see your friend’s husband bringing in a large cake, the small lights of the candles dancing with his every step. Everyone burst into song as he deposited the cake on the table, and you smiled shyly at the heartfelt attention. Shane smiled fondly from behind you, and curled an arm around your waist to pull you into his side and kiss your head.

“Happy birthday, Darlin’.”

“I got a taste of you and now my favorite cake. It sure is a happy birthday,” you said only loud enough for him to hear you, grinning at him with a note of mischief.

Shane snorted loudly at your unexpected words, and pulled your face to his to kiss you.

#shane walsh x reader #shane walsh #shane walsh smut #shane walsh fanfiction #the walking dead #the walking dead fanfiction #reader insert #mes fics #birthday fic

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justanoasisimagines · 8 months ago

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Mixed Preference - Their Love Language

This Preference contains; Eddie Brock, Dante Reyes, Finn Abernathy, Mad Sweeney, Andy Barber, Aegon II Targaryen, Loyd Hansen, Cedric Diggory, Shane Walsh, Deckard Shaw, Spencer Reid, Mitch Morgan, Phillip "The Governor" Blake, Long John Silver, Ragnar Lothbrok

Requests are open! Credit to @cafekitsune for the divider and the banner!

Eddie Brock; Eddie's love language gift giving. He doesn't always know how to express his feelings towards you. Every time he tries he turns into a stuttering mess. Gift-giving is logical for Eddie he can bring you a bunch of flowers or a box of chocolates. Even Venom begins to get involved, however, that's somewhat questionable.

Dante Reyes; Dante's love language is physical touch. He can shower you with whatever your heart desires, however, he'd much rather show you. He loves the reaction you give him whenever he goes to kiss you or when he surprises you with a bear hug. If Dante is being honest, he enjoys physical touch. He welcomes you to instigate physical touch. Dante is terrifying to everyone else and the exception is you.

Finn Abernathy; Finn's love language is Quality Time. He wants to make time for you. He wants to show you that he's willing to take time out of his schedule so he can take you on dates or plan cozy nights. He can be there for you whenever you need support for a doctor's appointment or a family event. This is his preferred way to show you he's serious about you.

Mad Sweeney; Mad Sweeney's love Language is physical touch. He's not always great with communication and he's always worried about buying you the wrong thing. However, physical touch is the one way Sweeney can communicate his feelings towards you. He enjoys it too. He loves nothing more than to pull you in for a kiss and show everyone who you belong to.

Andy Barber; Andy Barber's love language is Acts of Service. Sometimes you two can be like ships in the night, so Andy takes the time to do things for you. He will do the chore you haven't got round to or go to the grocery shop if he knows you are busy. He'll run you a bath after a long day. He'll write you a note telling you to have a good day if you start at different times.

Aegon II Targaryen; Aegon's love language is physical touch. Aegon hasn't been raised to know how to express his love healthily. Physical touch is a way Aegon knows how and even then you still have to help him. He doesn't know what a delicate touch is, but he'll shower you with physical affection. Kisses and hugs and warm embraces.

Loyd Hansen; Loyd's love language is gift-giving. He can give you whatever your heart desires, so why wouldn't he? You don't have to want for anything. Besides he knows he's not always around and he's not typically the most affectionate person. He can, however, buy you whatever you want. No price tag is too large, he'll buy it for you. He enjoys your reactions whenever he surprises you with an unexpected gift.

Cedric Diggory; Cedric's love language is terms of endearment. He loves using different terms of endearment to witness your reaction. Sometimes he comes out with completely outrageous ones just to make you laugh. Cedric is the only one who's allowed to call you a term of endearment because that's his privilege as your boyfriend.

Shane Walsh; Shane's love language is physical touch. He likes having his hands on you. Walking by and kissing you or grabbing your ass. He likes showing you how he feels because Shane feels obsessively about his feelings towards you. He wants to shower you in physical touch whenever he can. It's also a firm warning to remind everyone you belong to him. Anyone who wants to try and change that can deal with him.

Deckard Shaw; Deckard's love language is gift-giving. He loves buying you a bunch of flowers whenever he's been away from you or buying you a new car. He thinks it's precious whenever you protest about something he's done because you know he's going to do it again. He's always going to provide for you no matter what. If you're someone who doesn't ask for anything, he'll pay close attention to what you're saying so he makes the right purchase. Deckard likes to spoil you so he's going to.

Spencer Reid; Spencer's love language is quality time. He could buy you gifts and give you affection, however, Spencer prefers to give you his time. He prefers to show you by spending quality time. By reading together grabbing dinner or watching a documentary together. Spencer can be away for long periods on cases, but when he returns home it's time for you two.

Mitch Morgan; Mitch's love language is quality time. He's not always the easiest person around and words often fail him. However, he likes being in your presence while you go about your days, You don't have to be partaking in the same activity, but he just likes knowing you're close. You can be watching TV and he will settle down and read. Mitch's words often fail him but his actions speak louder.

Phillip "The Governor" Blake Philip's love language would be acts of service. He's changed drastically since the world turned upside down. He becomes cold and standoffish, cruel and calculated. His feelings for you haven't changed. This is why his love language is quality time because making time for you despite his busy schedule. For example, having breakfast together or seeing you between meetings.

John Silver; John's love language is terms of endearment. He loves calling you tender words and watching your gaze soften. John will attempt to use these tender words to get himself out of tumultuous situations. It's usually "love" or "my heart" as he attempts to get himself out of trouble. He adores how conflicted you become as you attempt to stay mad at him.

Ragnar Lothbrok; Ragnar's love language is physical touch. He's not always articulate with words. He doesn't know what you need. He does however know how to express his feelings physically. He can pour his feelings towards you through his actions. It's like a communication language only you two understand.

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little-butterfly-writes · 8 months ago

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Commissions

Hello everyone! I know it has been a while, but I hope you are all well.

I’m happy to be here with everyone, but I have an ulterior motive (and I apologize for this being my comeback post). Recently, there was a fire in my sister’s neighborhood and it spread to her house.

Why is this important?

Due to the fire spreading, my sister’s house took a lot of damage. With damage comes (expensive!!) costs to repair the building and replace furniture. Fortunately, no one was in the house at the time of the fire and my sister is safe.

To help my sister out, I am opening commissions where all profits go to her. As long as the rules are followed, I will be writing something personal for you! Down below, my rules, what I refuse to write, fandoms I write for, what I will write, and costs.

Here is the link to our Cash App for all purchases or donations. - Pay $LittleButterflyWrites

Note: Anyone who has made a request before the date of me posting this (07/02/2024) will get their requests free of charge as originally intended before my unannounced hiatus.

This is available until July 30th, (07/30/2024), so please act fast since I'm not sure if I'll open them again! Read more if you're interested!

Rules *read and approved by my sister

I have the right to refuse any request. Respect my final decision and read what I will not write for before making a request.

Refunds will only be available 24 hours after you place the order. If you do not tell/ask for a refund within 24 hours of your transaction, I will write what you requested and you will NOT get your money back.

Before making a request, please consult with me about what you want for your writing. See below on how to request. This makes things easier in case I am unable to fulfill/accept a request, AND it prevents you, the buyer, from spending money before you get an answer.

If you want any changes to the details, let me know within 24 hours of talking to me.

If you request for a character letter, you will have to give PROOF OF PERMISSION by an adult if you are a minor. You will also have to be comfortable with giving me your address.

If I find that you request anything NSFW as a minor, you will be BLOCKED AND REPORTED. I will reject your request and you will get your money back.

What Do You Refuse To Write?

Dub/non-con

Incest

Hate towards another group of people (race, orientation, gender, etc.)

Beastiality/Zoophilia

Pedophilia

I will NOT write NSFW for certain characters. Said characters will be in a bracketed list after their name. (example: [Character] = no NSFW). The NSFW list of characters will always be BEFORE the NO NSFW character list.

Anything I am not comfortable writing. Again, I reserve the right to refuse any request. If you are unsure and need clarification, please message me with questions.

What Fandoms Do You Write For?

With this new post comes some new fandoms!

Mystic Messenger

- Yoosung Kim, Zen/Hyun Ryu, Jaehee Kang, Jumin Han, 707/Saeyoung Choi, Ray, Saeran Choi, V/Jihyun Kim, Rika Kim, Vanderwood

Mr. Love, Queen’s Choice

- Lucien Xu, Victor Li, Gavin Bai, Kiro Zhou, Shaw Bai

Stardew Valley

- Alex, Elliot, Harvey, Sam, Sebastian, Shane, Abigail, Emily, Hayley, Jodi, Leah, Maru, Penny, Caroline, Robin, Sandy, Willy, Wizard M. Rasmodius - [Clint, Demetrius, Evelyn, George, Gunther, Gus, Jas, Kent, Krobus, Leo, Lewis, Linus, Marnie, Pam, Pierre, Willy, Wizard M. Rasmodius, Vincent]

Monster Prom/Camp

- Vera Oberlin, Damien LaVey, Zoe, Polly Geist, Miranda Vanderbilt, Calculester Hewlett-Packard, Scott Howl, Liam de Lioncourt, Joy Johnson-Johjima, Dahlia Aquino, Aaravi Mishra

Ikemen Sengoku

- Oda Nobunaga, Toyotomi Hideyoshi, Akechi Mitsuhide, Date Masamune, Tokugawa Ieyasu, Ishida Mitsunari, Uesugi Kenshin, Takeda Shingen, Sanada Yukimura, Sarutobi Sauske, Kennyo

The Walking Dead - Up to season 5 in the TV show OR first comic compendium. I can write apocalypse TWD or non-apocalypse lives, just tell me your preference.

- Rick Grimes, Lori Grimes, Shane Walsh, Glenn Rhee, Maggie Greene, Daryl Dixon, Tyresse, Sasha, Abraham Ford, Carol Peletier, Michonne, Negan, Tara Chambler, Rosita Espinosa, Gabriel Stokes - [Herschel Greene, Dale Horvath] - *I will write NSFW for Beth Greene or Carl Grimes BUT they will be AGED UP TO BE 18 or OLDER.

What Will You Write?

Comfort

Fluff

Angst

SFW

NSFW

Character x Character

OC x Character

Unnamed FemReader x Character

Unnamed MascReader x Character

Unnamed GenNeuReader x Character

CMC x Character

What Can I Get And For How Much?

*Before making a request, please consult with me about what you want so I can give you a set price before I start working. Some prices depend on the details like how many characters you want, so talk to me before paying!

Personalized Playlist - $2

I make you a playlist for your character x character, OC x character, or CMC x character. I will give you links via Spotify or YouTube using my taste in music along with your taste. Minimum of 20 songs.

Headcanons - $3-6 (Depends on the amount of characters. Maximum of 8 characters)

I write headcanons about the character, how they interact with other characters within their fandom, and how they interact with your OC/CMC.

Matchmaker - $3-9 (Depends on amount of characters

You choose between 1-3 characters from any fandom (can be different fandoms) and give a description of yourself to me (including MBTI, hobbies, likes/dislikes, and preferences). Can be SFW or NSFW.

Dabble (500+ words) - $4

A small piece with details you customize for a character. This can include interactions with other characters in their fandom, interactions with OC/CMC, or something about themself.

Character Letter (Only within the US and Canada) - $6 + any mailing fees

A letter from a character of your choice. Must show PROOF OF PERMISSION if you are a minor as we mail it to your address.

Fic (1000+ words) - $7

A piece with details you customize for a character. This can include interactions with other characters in their fandom, interactions with OC/CMC, or something about themself.

Oneshot (1500-2000+ words) - $10

A larger piece with details you customize for a character. This can include interactions with other characters in their fandom, interactions with OC/CMC, or something about themself.

How Do I Order A Commission? *Very important!

Look at the list of fandoms/characters I will write for.

Choose what you would like me to write for you. (Example: FemReader x Character, SFW, Dabble, with [insert details]).

Consult with me BEFORE PURCHASING to determine if I will accept the request and set the price.

Once all details are given and the request is approved, continue with purchase using the link to the Cash App linked above.

Here’s another link for purchases or donations in case you don’t want to scroll up! - Pay $LittleButterflyWrites

Reblogs are always helpful if you are uninterested or want to help :)

#little butterfly writes commissions #commissions open #commissions #any help is very much appreciated!

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lemonbxrry · 6 months ago

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Doctor's Orders

ZERO / ONE / TWO / THREE / FOUR / FIVE / SIX / SEVEN

Season Two, Episode Two: Bloodletting

Season Two, Episode Three: Save the Last One

I look at the cop that was lying on the gurney, checking his pupils and seeing that he wasn't responding at all. I expectantly looked up at my attending, waiting to hear the orders that they gave me.

"[Last Name], did the bullet go through or not," my attending, Dr. Fresk said, being on the opposite side of where his wound was. I quickly check, trying my best to not add more injury to him, finding that it did shoot all the way through.

"Alright, what do we need now [Last Name]?" Dr. Fresk asked, making sure I knew exactly what we needed, the consequences were me being kicked off of this trauma.

"We need to get an MRI scan, see if the bullet grazed any organs, and to see if there are any possibilities of shrapnel, we will then irrigate the wound and get some antibiotics, we need to also get a head CT to ensure there isn't any brain bleeding," I answered quickly. Dr. Fresk nodded his head in agreement, we waited as the MRI loaded.

"Alright [Last Name], we need a stapler, lidocaine, morphine, and an irrigation tray, you're gonna do it and I am going to oversee you do not mess up, got it?" I stare at him in awe, surprised he was even allowing me to do this, yet it was expected if I wished to go into trauma. I nodded my head quickly, asking the nurses around us to get what we needed as we headed to an operating room.

THE WALKING DEAD

I exit the operating room, heading to the waiting room where there stood another man in a cop uniform, having been with the man who we just did surgery on, he was anxiously pacing around in the same place, his hand in his hair. I gently call out to him.

"Are you here for Mr. Rick Grimes?" I pulled my surgical mask down, looking up as I got closer to him, he was slightly towering over me. He stopped his pacing, stopping in front of me.

"Yes, yes I am. Is he okay? He has a wife and a kid, he can't leave em," the man said, spilling out information from his anxiety.

"Yes, he is, his surgery went well, we just don't know when exactly he will wake up since he didn't seem to be responsive when we got him, and when we took him to a CT it didn't show any brain bleeds," I explain to him, clasping my hands together gently, having a small sympathetic look on my face.

"Wait, so there's a chance that he won't wake up?" the man asked, worry evident on his face.

"There is a possibility, slim, but there is a chance that he won't wake up, we won't know for a while," I tell him. He put a hand to his mouth, cupping it as tears seemed to pool into his eyes, as he bent over, putting his hands on his knees as his body shook quietly. Sympathy flooded my mind as I gently patted his back, bending a little bit to try and help him stand back up, "I'll be one of the doctors that are always on his case, okay? So if I find anything new or if you ever come in during these times I'll be here," he nods his head in reply, seeming to calm down from his emotions.

"Thank you Ms., Ms. uh," he said, wiping at his eyes. I give him a gentle smile, taking a small step back to give him space.

"Doctor [Last Name], you can call me [Name] if you prefer, however a lot of people call me [Last Name]," I put my hand out to shake.

"Deputy Shane Walsh, a pleasure to know that someone that is good is going to be taking care of him," Shane said, shaking my hand, I nod my head.

"Well, visiting hours are close to ending, so let's get you to see him before it ends," I tell him, walking with him down the hall to Rick's room.

THE WALKING DEAD

I race alongside Rick, having used my jacket to try and cover the bullet hole that tore through Carl. My lungs burned and I felt like I could pass out at any moment, yet all I could focus on was getting Carl any type of help.

"Hey, you move shithead! You get us there!" Shane screamed at the man with the shotgun, yanking him forward.

"Shane! That's not going to help us right now!" I yell at him, halting my run with Rick, turning to look back at the man,

"How far?" Rick asked, fear and anger evident in his tone.

"Another half-mile that way, Hershel. Talk to Hershel. He'll help your boy," he wheezed out. Rick and I turned and continued to run, panting and struggling to keep running for as long as we have been. We soon reach the outskirt of the barn.

"Rick I can carry him, let me help," I tell him, he nods hesitantly, giving me Carl as we ran the rest of the way, watching as a family came out, guns in a few of their hands.

"Was he bit?" the older man in front asked.

"He was shot," I called out, blood dripping from the now-soaked jacket onto my black short sleeve shirt.

"By your man," Rick added, having been by us the whole way.

"Otis?" someone asked, already knowing who was out there.

"He said to find Hershel. Is that you?" Rick asked as the group got closer, "Help me. Help my boy," Rick begged, holding Carl's head, careful the boy was going to break even more.

"Get him inside," Hershel ordered.

"I can help, I'm a doctor," I tell Hershel as I carried Carl inside, following after.

"Good, good, Patricia, I need my full kit," Hershel said, pulling his sleeves up, "Maggie, painkillers, coagulates, grab everything. Clean towels, sheets, alcohol," he continued listing off as we turned into the bedroom closest to the door. I set him down on the bed, immediately helping him get to work on helping Hershel with Carl, "Pillowcase," Hershel said.

"Is he alive?" Rick asked quietly, not gaining either of our attention.

"Pillowcase, quick," Hershel repeated.

"Is he alive?" Rick asked, louder this time as he reached for a pillowcase by Carl's head, handing it to me. I quickly folded it, making a small pad out of it, and took my jacket off of his wound more fresh blood began to flow out I quickly press the pillowcase against his wound, Rick pressing with me. Hershel grabbed a stethoscope, listening for Carl's heartbeat, I could only hear my own though, anxiety eating away at my mind that we didn't arrive in time.

"I've got a heartbeat," Hershel said after a moment, Rick took a shaky breath in, shaking, "It's faint,"

"Rick it's okay, I got it," I tell him, he slowly nods, taking a careful step back, "You gotta take a step back. Do we have an I.V.?" I asked, looking around at the other women here in the room.

"Your name?" one of the women asked, gently pulling Rick back.

"Rick," he answered, not taking his eyes off Carl.

"And who's the little lady with you?" she asked, seeming to be asking about me.

"[Name], she was my doctor before this happened," he said, stumbling over some of his words.

"Rick, [Name] and I are gonna do everything we can, okay? You need to give us some room," Rick only glanced at us as we bandaged Carl, I press my hand gently against Carl's back, trying to find an exit hole, "Now," Hershel said, seeing Rick didn't take a step back or attempt to leave. I glance up, seeing the teary and sweaty face of the sheriff, we held our gazes for a moment before he nodded stepping out of the room, seeming to be in a daze.

I glance back up as Rick, Shane, and the man who I am assuming is Otis enter.

"Do you know his blood type?" Hershel asked, looking up at Rick.

"A positive, same as mine," Rick answered.

"That's fortunate," He said, glancing back down at Carl, "Don't wander far. I'm gonna need you. What happened?" Hershel asked, looking over at Otis and Shane, the two men standing behind Rick.

"I was tracking a buck. Bullet went through it, went clean through," Otis said, his voice having pain in it and sadness. I glance back up at Shane and Rick, then back at Carl.

"The deer slowed the bullet down, which saved his life, but, now it's still inside of him, it didn't go through Carl," I explained, giving a small sigh through my nose, "It broke into pieces, so we will need to do a small surgery here, Hershel, do we have anything that can help?" I ask, turning to look at the man. He shook his head in response. "I can count six so far, but I won't know until I go through the wound," I look up at Rick, feeling a wave of Deja vu hit. This felt like how it was before, except ten times worse. I started to tune out Otis, not wanting to hear how broken he was sounding, I keep the pressure on Carl's wound.

"Lori doesn't know," Rick murmured, swaying a bit, he leaned into Shane, "My wife doesn't know. My wife doesn't know," he repeated, crying now.

"Rick, you gotta be strong for your Carl, I know it's scary right now, but you gotta be as strong as you can be because he's just as scared," I tell him, trying not to cry myself, "He is strong just like you and he's going to get through, I just need to the right supplies,"

THE WALKING DEAD

"Maggie, go get Rick," I tell the brown-haired woman, looking up from my spot, having lost some feeling in my arms from pressing so long, trying to console the now awake and crying boy. Maggie comes back with Rick, explaining that he needed blood as Carl continued to cry and groan. "Shane, please help hold him down, he's moving too much and it's going to cause more problems," I explain quickly.

"Dad," Carl cried out, his face pale and sweaty, continuing to squirm under our hands.

"Almost there," Hershel said, extracting one of the pieces out of Carl, the boy screaming loudly.

"Stop! You're killing him! [Name] make him stop!" Rick screamed, trying to rush to where his boy was laying, Maggie having to hold him back.

"Rick this is the only way that helps him live," I almost snap at him, cleaning the area where Hershel was extracting the bullet fragment.

"He needs blood," Patricia reminded, telling Rick.

"Do it now!" Shane screamed at Rick, holding the boy close and watching Carl and me. I glanced between Carl and Rick, continuing my own side of work.

"You are doing such a great job Carl, I know, I know it hurts," I tell the boy, pushing his hair back while trying to help soothe his mind, "You are so strong buddy, you're gonna be okay," I murmur, tears pricking my eyes, I blink furiously to try and stop them, only a few escaping. His crying soon stopped, his head falling to the side, causing an uncomfortable quiet.

"Wait, wait, hey," Shane said worried, staring at me with worry.

"He just passed out, he'll wake up again," I reply, just as Hershel pulled out the first shrapnel, placing it down into a bowl.

"One down, five to go," He said solemnly.

THE WALKING DEAD

After bandaging Carl I sat in the living room, resting my elbows on my knees to prop my head up in my hands, breathing deeply. It felt great to be doing something surgical again but god did it hurt knowing that it was Carl that I was going to do it to. I felt the couch sink next to me, I glance to see Shane have a faraway look but have a small look of worry on his face.

"Are you okay?" he asks, putting his hand on my back. My body felt so warm and his hand felt so cold, it was nice, yet I knew it was just the anxiety that was making me feel so warm.

"Best as I can be, I really need that supplies," I tell him, rubbing my temples and groaning at the small headache that was forming, "Are you okay?" I ask after a moment.

"Not really, but, Rick needs someone right now, or people who can support him," Shane responds, I give a small nod.

"I'm gonna go talk to Rick, possibly go out and get the others, I'll be back," I nod, watching him get up and leave, I close my eyes tightly, finding a small moment to finally rest. Yet all I could think of is the fact that something was going to be wrong.

THE WALKING DEAD

I awoke to Shane shaking me gently on the couch, I sat up quickly, panicking.

"What happened, is Carl okay? Did someone else get hurt?" I stumble up, almost falling, he quickly helps stabilize me, shaking his head.

"No, no, I'm going with Otis to find the supplies, doc says that one of his blood vessels got nicked, and Otis knows what it looks like. We decided it would be best if you stayed here, don't want anything happening to our only other doctor," Shane explains. I nod slowly, blinking as I try and remember where I was at.

"Okay, be safe, if you find anything else, like medical books, please bring me, I don't know every single surgery and I don't want to have to go in blind someday," I tell him, following him outside, Rick catching up with us, "You better be safe too, Carl needs one of his favorite people coming back in one piece," I try and lighten the mood, making it seem like I am still completely on his side.

Stepping to the side we watch the two men drive off in the blue truck. I head back inside with Patricia, Rick, and Hershel following after as we go to check on Carl and see how he's doing.

THE WALKING DEAD

I stay in the bedroom with Carl, holding onto his small clammy hand. I place my forehead down on the edge of the bed, praying to whatever higher being was out there.

"I'm so sorry Carl, we should have just had you go with your mom, none of this would have happened to you," I tell the sleeping boy, soon watching as Rick and Lori came in, her expression breaking at the sight of her boy.

"My boy, my baby boy," she quietly said, crawling into bed with him. I took that as my queue to leave, nodding to Rick as I watched them hold hands, holding one another tightly. Rick gave a small nod back, about to reach back but pulling his arm back, going to hold his wife instead. I walk outside, taking in a deep breath of the warm summer air, and closing my eyes. Hershel seems to be taking care of him for now. I stay outside for a bit before coming back inside, coming in during a conversation between Rick, Lori, and Hershel.

"Well, yes, in a sense," Hershel answered, I pop in next to Rick, confusion going through my head.

"In a sense?" Lori asked, turning to look at me, "Have you done this surgery [Name]?" she asked, looking between Hershel and me.

"I didn't ever have it happen like this, the only recent one that I got to do was with Rick's surgery," I answer her honestly.

"Honey, we don't have the luxury of shopping for two surgeons," Rick told her, taking her hand in his.

"No, I understand that. But I mean, you're a doctor, right?" She asked Hershel, giving him her attention.

"Yes ma'am, of course. A vet," he said, nodding.

"A veteran? A combat medic?" she hurriedly asked.

"A veterinarian," Hershel looked her in the eyes as he said this, glancing at Rick and me. I place my hand over my mouth, shock filling my body.

"And you've done this surgery before on what? Cows? Pigs?" Lori asked, taking a shaky breath in.

"I have to, I have to sit," Rick said, falling into a chair, I carefully catch him on his other side, careful to not let him fall onto the floor.

"Completely in over your head, aren't you? At least [Name] is here, she can help," Lori said, looking at Hershel.

"Ma'am, aren't we all?" the man replied. I gave a sigh, gesturing for Rick to continue drinking his orange juice.

"You should get some rest [Name], you got a big surgery to do tonight," Lori said, sighing, she gently rubbed my shoulder, "Thank you for helping," she said, honestly, bringing me in for a hug. I freeze for a moment, surprised, before going to hug her back, closing my eyes. It felt like my mom's own hugs. It felt like family and warmth. I take a step back and go to the living room. I take a seat on one of the couches and close my eyes, finally finding a moment to rest.

The Walking Dead

I look out at the field from the porch, having decided to stay outside while I wait for Shane and Otis to come back with the supplies. I barely even moved when Maggie came and sat down next to me, having a sandwich made, gently holding it out to me. I hesitantly reach out for it, holding the plate in my hand, and giving a small nod of thanks.

"You doin' okay, sweetie?" she asked, looking down at me from where she was standing.

"Oh, I'm doing the best I can right now. Thank you guys for letting us in, haven't really had the time to be civil, y'know?"

"Of course, Otis didn't mean to shoot your brother," Maggie said, giving a small sympathetic smile.

"I know, Otis was simply lookin' for some food, not gonna blame a man for that, it was a freak coincidence that we were both there," I tell her, not bothering to even say that Carl and I weren't related. The Grimes family was the closest thing I had to feeling like a normal family, and I wasn't gonna let that go. I eat half of the sandwich and it was silent for a while before a car decided to pull up, and two figures came into view. I put my sandwich down, eyes wide with recognition of who the two figures were.

"Did you close the gate up the road when you drove in?" Maggie asked, looking at Glenn and T-Dog. Glenn held his gun close to him, seeming to be dumbfounded.

"Uh, hi. Yes, we closed it. Did the latch and everything," he said, gesturing back, "Hello, nice to see you again. You too, [Name]," Glenn said with a bashful smile. Maggie stayed quiet, only raising her eyebrows a little. I took a glance at T-Dog, noticing how he was shivering, and it was not from the cold. "We, um, we met before briefly," Glenn elaborated.

"Look, we came to help. There anything we can do?" T-Dog asked, I stood up from my spot walking over to them with Maggie.

"T-Dog, what's happening with your cut, did it get infected?" I asked worriedly, gently taking his arm and looking at the makeshift bandage, lifting it up and seeing the pus leak out a bit. I scrunch up my nose, shaking my head, "This isn't looking too good, you can't help when you have an infection like this," I tell him. Maggie took a step back, eyes darting between the three of us.

"Like the ones out there type of infection?" she asked, fear evident in her voice. I quickly shake my head.

"No, no, he cut himself on a car out on the highway," I explain quickly, "We're also waiting on Shane and Otis to come with some supplies, so hopefully they get here soon for you and Carl," Maggie nods.

"Alright, I'll let them know you both are here then," she replies, heading inside, "Come on," she said, gesturing for the two men to follow after us.

We go in a line into the room where Carl was laying, Patricia, Hershel, Lori, and Rick were sitting around the young boy. Glenn took off his hat, glancing at the three of us standing behind him.

"Hey," he called out softly, a look of pity on his face.

"Hey," Rick replied, glancing up at the four of us at the door, and looking back at his son.

"Um, we're here, okay?" Glenn said, trying his best to sound supportive.

"Thank you," Lori said, nodding at Shane, glancing at her husband then putting her attention back to Carl.

"Whatever you need," T-Dog rasped out, before I gently took him by the arm, leading him into the living room, Glenn following after, Maggie leading him.

"Let's get this bandaged correctly and redone with antibiotics," I tell him, taking the bandage off, Maggie has already gone off to get fresh bandages and ointment. When she came back I began to apply more of the ointment, watching as Lori exited the room, heading outside seeming to be crying. My heart clenched in sympathy, before putting my attention back once I saw Rick go after her.

"So, how'd y'all meet?" Maggie asked, looking at the three of us.

"Found each other on the highway, trying to get out of Atlanta, some awful traffic," I told her, finishing T-Dog's new bandage, patting him on the shoulder, and looking at the painkillers Glenn brought, saying it was from Daryl. I give him the amount it says to take, passing them to him, "I'll hold onto these, can't have you getting addicted," I explain, putting them into my pocket.

"Well, [Name] and I kind of knew each other since I was always somehow delivering to her apartment," Glenn said shrugging.

"Oh yeah, you found me when I needed to finish my studying for my board certification," I tell him, him nodding.

"So you're a real doctor then? Not like a nurse?" Maggie asked, sounding surprised.

"Well I mean, nurses are also trained, they just don't go through the same training as surgeons, both are tedious," I pop my neck, "I'm gonna see if they need any help inside, you will know where to find me," I said, giving a small wave. I lean against the door frame, watching Carl sleep until he started coughing and gasping, waking up, his eyes frantic and looking everywhere.

"Where are we? [Name]?" Carl asked, his voice full of fright as he tried to sit up, shaking.

"Whoa, whoa, calm down, it's okay," I tell him, ushering him to stay laying down, Rick and Lori came out of the bathroom, rushing to Carl's other side.

"Hey little man, that's Hershel," Rick said, trying to help calm him down. Hershel gave a small smile, passing a small look toward Rick. "We're in his house. You had an accident, all right?"

"It hurts, a lot," Carl gasped out, reaching to touch his wound.

"It's good that it hurts, means that your nerves are intact still," I reply, smiling at the three of them softly.

"You should have seen it?" Carl said, smiling up at his mom.

"What?" She asked, playing with her son's hair.

"The deer. It was so pretty, mom. It was so close. I've never been..." Carl trailed off, stopping mid-sentence. My heart dropped, a feeling of dread filled my entire body.

"Carl?" Rick asked, his voice cracking. Just as he called out to the boy, Carl started convulsing on the bed, grunting. I quickly flip him to his side, making sure his head doesn't snap in an awkward direction, holding him up.

"Stop, don't hold him down, you'll hurt him," Hershel instructed Lori and Rick, seeing as the two parents tried to hold him down.

"You can't stop it?" Lori asked, glancing down at her son and then back up at Hershel and me.

"No, he has to go through it. We can't stop it, we can time it, Rick, make sure it doesn't exceed five minutes," I quickly tell him, still keeping Carl on his side. Carl continued to convulse, Lori sobbing, soon Carl stopped convulsing, falling limp. "Brain's not getting enough blood. Pressure is bottoming out. He needs another transfusion," I say out loud.

"Okay, I'm ready," Rick said, about to sit in the chair where he had been getting his blood drawn out for the past day.

"Rick we can't, you've already drawn out two liters, you could go into a coma or cardiac arrest," I explain, looking up at him from watching over Carl.

"You're wasting time," Rick pleaded, sitting in the seat next to Carl. Hershel grabbed the device, beginning to set it up and get ready for the next transfusion despite my warnings.

THE WALKING DEAD

I pace out on the porch of the house, biting at my thumbnail, glancing out to the field and back to the floor, having just hooked Rick up to do the transfusion for Carl since Shane wasn't here yet. All I could think about was how this was all caused because of a deer. A deer stopped for Carl and stared at him. I take a deep breath in, finally stopping my pacing and just looking out at the field we came from. I enter back inside the house, making my way to the bedroom, and passing a small glance at Glenn, who seemed to be absolutely in a trance with Maggie, I look away, biting the inside of my cheek.

"He's losing blood faster than we can replace it, and with the swelling in his abdomen, we can't wait any longer or he's just going to slip away," Hershel said, gently placing Carl's arm down, "We need to know right now if you want us to do this," He said, looking at Lori and Rick, gesturing to himself and me.

"He might be out of time, we have to do it now or he won't make it," I solemnly tell them, tying my hair back up, having taken it down in between working on Carl and taking short naps, "You have to make a choice,"

"A choice?" Lori asked.

"A choice," Rick echoed, turning to face his wife fully, "You have to tell me what it is," Lori placed her hand on Rick's face gently, her lips twitching in a frown, she then turned to face Hershel and me.

"We do it, you save our boy, [Name]," she tells us, giving a small nod of her head.

Patricia comes in with a metal moving table, wheeling it into the room, we carefully place it at the front of the bed.

"Okay, get the corner of that bed. Let's get the sheets down, and get the I.V. bag on the sheet. Okay, on three," Hershel instructed, I stay at my corner of the bed, "One, two, three," we carefully and quickly pull Carl up, placing him onto the table, Patricia pulling out the tools and getting a lamp to help light our area better.

"Rick, Lori, you may want to step out. This isn't going to get better," I tell them, looking up from the other side of the table. Then the sound of a truck approaching filled the air. Rick quickly strides over, pulling the curtain of the window, revealing the blue truck we saw hours before leave comes back, "Hershel, I'll stay, go help them get everything in, we don't have much time," I order out, they all quickly run out of the house, a moment passes before Hershel comes back inside with a bag, and we quickly set to work.

THE WALKING DEAD

Hershel and I step outside to where everyone was waiting on the porch, wiping our hands off on some towels they had laying around that were clean. Rick and Lori stand up quickly turning to us with expectant eyes.

"He seems to be stable," I tell them, giving them a smile, Rick lets out a small hopeful laugh, tears in his eyes he hugs Hershel, Lori comes up and hugs me tightly, pressing a small kiss on the top of my head, holding me close, I quickly hug her back, not wanting to let go.

"I don't have words," Lori tearfully said, almost laughing in joy.

"I don't either, wish I did," Hershel said, once Lori broke our hug, he glances around at us, "How do I tell Patricia about Otis?" I blink, looking around at my group with furrowed brows, not knowing what happened, I stare at Shane, who had an unreadable look on his face as he stared right back.

"You go to Carl," Rick says, turning to his wife, "I'll go with Hershel," he says, following Hershel inside, Lori glances back at Shane before coming inside, the two of us watching as Patricia breaks down in sobs in the kitchen. I pat her gently on the back, making my way back outside, sitting down on the porch steps, T-Dog sitting down next to me.

"You did a good thing today," he says, I glance out the side of my eye, giving a small shrug.

"It was scary. Especially with the fact that we barely even got the supplies in time, pure luck," I tell him, running a hand through my hair, taking it down from its up-do.

"You still saved Carl's life, I know you would do anything for us, especially them," T-Dog says, patting my shoulder, throwing a glance at the front door, I already know who he is talking about, which is the only whole family left within our group.

"Yeah, they remind me of my own family back before this whole, epidemic started," I explain, closing my eyes and putting my head against the pillar on the stairs. "I don't wanna lose them to anything, so of course, I'll try my best to make sure they stay connected and together. Within my couple years of being a resident at the hospital, I saw so many families be torn apart because of so many things, it kind of leaves you fearful of losing your family," I elaborate.

"I'm sure that you won't lose them, not for a while," T-Dog said, patting my shoulder and standing up, "Let's get some rest now, we'll be seeing everyone else tomorrow," he says, I nod, standing up and walking in after him, giving one last glance back outside.

"I think I need to take a shower, I got too much blood on me," I mutter, pulling at my shirt which was slightly solid from all the blood. I walk around, looking around for Maggie, finally finding her. "Hey Maggie, do you have any clothes I can wear? And if there's an available shower?" I ask her, giving a small thinned smile. She nods, heading into a room and coming back out with a flannel and a couple of towels.

"Flannels were Otis's, so that's why it won't fit, didn't want you to be in too small of clothing, sadly don't think we have any pants for you that'll work," I shook my head.

"No, no, that's okay, my pants are okay to wear, it's just the shirt, thank you," I tell her, she nods, pointing to a door down the hall.

"That's the bathroom," she said, soon walking away. I walk into the bathroom, and set my new shirt and towel down on the sink. I looked at myself in the mirror as the shower heated up, I wash away all that had happened, scrubbing until my skin felt raw.

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