#sf misery fell

[roffe-otto]

Some fanart for a scene (that stood put to me for no reasom) from a fic I've been reading :]

The fic is

Misery fell by bluebottles and I fucking love it

Another sketch I did for sals pose cuz I just fucking love drawing him

[gaypleasantview]

Day 4: Blood Sweat & Tears // Object Set #1

Set includes:

⋆ Sulainey's Period Supply Stuff Pack, converted from TS4

⋆ ATS2 Cold Misery Hot Water Bottle, recolored in Poppet's Back to Basics palette

Link, swatch and more info under the cut ♡

Hey! The song name I picked for this today is a typical period situation. But worry not, your sims can now have some comfort with this set of handy thingies! They're all purely decorative, though, but it's the thought that counts.

I've been feeling like there's not nearly enough menstrual products for simmies in TS2 so I kept thinking that I should learn to make objects and convert something. Wasn't until ages after that I randomly stumbled upon Sulainey's set and fell in love. It's really cute! That's how I converted my first object ever - a box. And a bunch of other stuff afterwards.

I thought that it would be a good addition to the set to make some hot water bottle recolors, because I'd never seen any at all and I think this is a very cool thing to own. Don't use a Pepsi bottle filled with hot water like I used to and let your sims get the real thing and live happily. Especially since it comes in cute Poppet colors (as well as a couple accidental new shades made with the same actions).

Everything is compressed and comes with descriptions. I also made a tiny edit to the ATS2 mesh, making the thumbnail appear slightly bigger than the original so that it's easier to pick a color. Hope everything works well in your game and you enjoy it!

Credits: Sulainey and Around The Sims 2 for their creations, JinxxSims for the amazing object conversion tutorial, PineappleForest for the thumbnail tutorial and many other incredibly useful tips, Poppet for the color actions.

☁ Object list

Menstrual cup - 1067 poly (lowered from 6386), 256x256 textures, 5 colors

Menstrual cup box - 12 poly, 512x512 textures, 2 colors

Pad - 884 poly (lowered from 8657), 128x128 textures, 5 colors

Pad box - 12 poly, 512x512 textures, 6 colors

Pad dispenser - 12 poly, 1024x1024 textures, 5 colors x 2 versions; wall object

Simdol (painkiller box) - 12 poly, 512x512, 2 colors

Tampon - 560 poly (lowered from 7094), 128x128 textures, 4 colors

Tampon box - 12 poly, 512x512 textures, 5 colors

Tampon (wrapped) - 407 poly (lowered from 9726), 256x256 textures, 5 colors

All objects are decorative and can be found under Plumbing/Miscellaneous.

Also included:

Collection file for the Sulainey Period Supply Stuff Pack

Mesh edit of ATS2 Hot Water Bottle + 22 recolors in 256x256 textures, found under Decorative/Miscellaneous

☁ Download

SFS | Mediafire

☁ Swatch

⋆ Sulainey Period Supply Stuff Pack: Individual items. Pictured: pads, tampons (wrapped & unwrapped), menstrual cups

⋆ Sulainey Period Supply Stuff Pack: Boxes. Pictured: pad boxes (back left), menstrual cup boxes (back right), tampon boxes (front left), Simdol (front right)

⋆ Sulainey Period Supply Stuff Pack: Pad dispenser. Comes in 5 colors (as seen below), with Simlish text or with no text.

⋆ ATS2 Hot Water Bottle. You can easily pick any color you like by the file name. This swatch features all of the colors in the alphabetical order (left to right, top to bottom).

[kn-1013]

🥤 - for the ask meme?

this one is asking about fic recommendations, so sure i have a few. i've mostly been reading sally face fanfiction recently, as that's been the most recent fixation, but i'll try to include other fandoms, too.

(SF) misery fell by bluebottles is a great fic about sal and larry and travis becoming involved with each other after sal starts trying to help travis graduate. it follows canon quite a bit while obviously deviating for the sake of shipping, lol, but that makes this one feel pretty grounded in the source material.

(SF) bridges left to burn by 8ethespider8itch is a little more out there, where sal is in his 20s and moving to nockfell to start college, but oops, a good 80% of nockfellians are also monsters, including larry, travis and ash, the three of which are vampires. it's been a minute since i've picked this one up so i can't exactly remember the plot, but i remember really enjoying the concepts this one threw out, especially the collective trauma in how ash, larry, travis, (and others, iirc) became vampires, but i won't spoil that.

(SF) camp cornerstone by documentserver is the one i've been making my way through most recently, where sal and ash accidentally convince the rest of their friends to go to a church camp for the summer. even worse is the fact that the camp was being funded by the phelps ministry, so travis also has to be there against his will. i'm about halfway through and it's a really fun story so far. i can really appreciate the author being able to draw from their own life experiences as a lesbian to describe travis's inner turmoil with the fight between his faith and his homosexuality.

(DST) heart shaped box is a great fic exploring a ship i personally pioneered, which is wes/charlie. it's the only fic in the wes/charlie tag on ao3 that isn't mine, and i can appreciate that greatly. it's a fic that explores charlie's thoughts about wes back when she was still the grue, when maxwell was on the throne, and how she comes to the box he's kept in at nighttime. she talks to him, but even though he can never reply, she still hopes to free him herself one day. it's very sweet.

(MP100) reigen 1/2 by chubbyhornedequine is a fic i haven't checked up on in a while, i really need to, because the concept is frankly amazing. the idea is inspired by ranma 1/2, but instead of switching genders, reigen falls into a cursed pool and therefore whenever he's doused with water, he turns into a cat. it's just amazing, brilliant, please read it.

(MP100) area hysteria by c_c_cherry is a fic that i THOUGHT was finished somewhere around chapter 10, but apparently it's got a handful of chapters to go still. it's an amazing fic where reigen gets caught in the collapse of an old building for a couple of days, and then gets lost inside his own head. mob and dimple have to go in after his coma starts in order to save him. this fic does a great job at describing the reactions and behaviors of the other characters in the wake of reigen's disappearance, serizawa suddenly being in charge and not knowing what to do about it, mob having a meltdown, ritsu's terrified and realistic reactions to mob's freaking out, and much, much more. it's so good, i have to pick it up again and see what the new chapters have put out.

ok that's a bit of a long list but there you go. i haven't read any creepypasta fics recently so i can't recommend any of those, but if anyone has some fics to recommend me go straight ahead :)

[curiosity-killed]

hello! what are your top five (or more) hualian fics? I can't just keep rereading your fics so I desperately need some recs! c:

adsjhlk anonnn ;A; ah okay so some of my faves pulled from my top tier of bookmarks (which is wildly subjective and depends upon the day and mood but oh well. here we are):

(under cut bc this got real long)

you'll know, you'll fall by mme_anxious

Rating: E

Summary:

“We talked about it,” Xie Lian says, hearing the frustration in his voice. “I want to go to the next step.” “It's okay if you don't—” Hua Cheng started. “I do! God, I want it so much. I don't want you thinking that I don't. I—I think about it all the time, San Lang.” Hua Cheng looks pleased, the tops of his cheekbones flushing to match his red shirt, and his thumb strokes the back of Xie Lian's hand. “What do you think about, gege?” -- Xie Lian seeks a lesson in desire. And another. And another.

My notes (apologies for this one it’s drawn straight from my bookmark notes lmao):

INTIMACY IS WORTH THE VULNERABILITY! TRUST IS REAL! LOVE EXISTS! HOLY SHIT!!!

i might be tearing up a little bit bc of the abundance of love and care apparent both between hualian and in the writing of this fic. it's. A Lot.

Animal and Real by etymologyplayground (but also all of EP’s hualian fics because they’re the fics I most reread ^^’)

Rating: T

Summary:

Ling Wen and Shi Qing Xuan establish the communication array, and then Ling Wen leaps into the well and disappears. Shi Qing Xuan walks over and sits in front of Xie Lian and Hua Cheng. "So," she says. "Dianxia. Crimson Rain Seeks Flower. Fancy meeting you here."

--

Book 1 ended on a cliffhanger. I fell off.

Alternate summary: "Xie Lian's Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day" Slowly Animorphs Into "Xie Lian And Hua Cheng Have A Nice Day, Actually"

My notes:

I like...don’t...actually....have words for this LMAO but basically I love, love, love Xie Lian getting to be hurt and hurting and Hua Cheng finding different ways to comfort and help him and actually talking about things (like Xie Lian accidentally hurting Hua Cheng’s feelings and them actually TALKING ABOUT IT) and just hnnnn yeah. this is like my go-to fic haha but I heartily rec all of etymologyplayground’s fics for tgcf (also many mdzs/cql fics but i am apparently behind in reading those orz)

le renard apprivoisé by hilarions

Rating: G

Summary:

If you tame me, it will be as if the sun came to shine on my life. I shall know the sound of a step that will be different from all the others, and hearing it will call me like music out of my burrow. You will understand that the things that are yours are unique in all the world. You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed.

My notes:

Ah gosh. Hua Cheng equating himself with a starving, injured wild thing that doesn’t deserve care or compassion, Xie Lian telling him he loves him the fox anyway, the nature of dessert and love hnnn it’s a good time

Panopticon by @pengiesama​

Rating: M

Summary:

Jun Wu has built a very splendid home for Xie Lian, with gifts and friends and wondrous sights just for him. He will be very happy there.

Xie Lian won't take this house arrest lying down.

(Inspired by the book/movie Coraline, by Neil Gaiman.)

My notes:

Just an absolutely delectable balance of suspense and mild horror and love and aaahhh sometimes I forget that parts of this aren’t canon bc this is basically accepted as my canon of Jun Wu. Also “I was taller than that” will never not be my favorite thing

Tame to Fortune's Blows + Something Foreknown by crowdedcafe

Rating: M and T, respectively

Summaries:

For eight hundred years, Ruoye is Xie Lian’s only companion. It tries its best to ease some of his hardships, to lessen the misery he feels. But Ruoye is only a length of silk, and sometimes its love simply isn’t enough in the face of Xie Lian’s suffering.

Or, Ruoye loves Xie Lian when others don’t know how.

(TFB)

E-ming is born with a hole in his heart and an emptiness in his soul. Through centuries of hearing stories about Hua Cheng's beloved, E-ming grows to love the man he was born missing.

(SF)

My notes:

Just really lovely character studies essentially of Xie Lian and Hua Cheng through the lens of their weapons. personally I think they’re best read together but they are each standalone, canon-compliant fics 

ALSO:

Innocence Died Screaming, Honey Ask Me I Should Know by @eponinemylove​

Rating: T

Summary:

Hua Cheng puts a finger to his temple thoughtfully. He asks, "Who wants to tell me what the deal is with all these damn petals?"

The communication array goes completely silent, a feat almost in itself. Hua Cheng muses silently that gods can, apparently, shut the fuck up—they just choose not to. How convenient.

It takes a moment before Ling Wen manages to speak up. "Your Highness," she says carefully, "what did you say just now?"

"These white petals? There's got to be a hundred of them. The man just—oh yeah, there was a man—exploded into them. What's up with that?"

There's a long stretch of silence where it feels like all of Heaven is holding its breath.

Finally, Ling Wen responds. Her voice is clipped as she asks, "What do you know about the Four Calamities? Specifically, White Flower Mourns Massacre?"

Alternatively: the one where Hua Cheng is a martial god, Xie Lian is a calamity, and nobody is at all what they seem.

My notes:

AAAAAAHHHHH. GOD. THIS FIC. it would be embarrassing to admit how many times I’ve reread it (also I don’t know. late night decisions are not meant to be recorded in the ledger of memory) but it’s so fucking good. The characterization, the threads pulled from canon along with the deviations and alterations and the suSPENSE i am McLosing It. pls god someone come yell abt this fic with me i love it sm

I have such low Fic Reading Energy but. this babe. i see an update email and start vibrating like a gd electron.

Some other authors I trust with my heart and soul: @xihe-jun, merthurlin, atomicmuffin, uhhh I’m definitely missing people orz

[drewsleung]

⌠ ROSS BUTLER, 24, CIS MALE, HE/HIM ⌡ welcome back to gallagher academy, ANDREW LEUNG! according to their records, they’re a THIRD year, specializing in THREAT ELIMINATION + PROTECTION & ENFORCEMENT; and they DID NOT go to a spy prep high school. when i see them walking around in the halls, i usually see a flash of (various sports equipment, faded photographs of people he holds dear, and the academy handbook). when it’s the virgo’s birthday on 08/24/1995, they always request their SNOWSKIN MOONCAKE from the school’s chefs. looks like they’re well on their way to graduation. ⌿ jess, 21, she/her, cst ⍀   

its ya girl..back again w a qt PI

family background: for as long as he could remember, his immediate family has always been in san francisco. sure, he’s got some cousins in sacramento, anaheim, and a swanky dj cousin in los angeles, but san francisco was it. the leungs had a local bookstore that they’ve had for generations. how they manage to keep it up despite the subtle changes in town was something that none of the leung children ever questioned. they knew the answer. they didn’t wanna know anymore than that.

as the oldest of the three leung sibs, andrew was used to mediating and protecting for pretty much every day of their lives. he was the one the others turned to for advice and as a human shield against their classmates that would have rather mean (sometimes racist) things to say to their face. at his family’s shop, he helped out with inventory and being the person in front. sometimes he would give out flyers. all in all, it was a relatively normal childhood.

the only thing that wasn’t normal ( at all ) was his knack for learning physical things quickly. whether it was a friend’s hiphop choreo for a party or some really inaccurate (but still cool looking) kung fu moves on television, andrew could watch it and practice it for a bit before being able to do it near perfectly.

his uncle noticed this particular ability of his and all but told him to start working with him in his gym. andrew’s protective spirit finally began to have a body that matched - large, rather formidable. his uncle was also handy with a few makeshift weapons - namely whatever the kids had lying around - baseball bats, tennis rackets, etc. 

the thing is: andrew is not that violent. at least, he’s not unnecessarily violent. *robert deniro vc*  he don't like to cause pain for no reason, because all his sadistic urges are satisfied when he cause pain for a good reason

personality: he’s more of a teddy bear than anything. sensitive. he likes (and writes) poetry. really good and really fascinated with words (remember zeke from the get down??? like tHAT). he also likes corny jokes a lot. that saying, his smile could honestly mean anything at any point. whether he’s smiling because he’s genuinely amused or he’s hiding his urge to physically confront someone is anyone’s guess. he usually doesn’t hesitate to communicate his thoughts. ( idk how else to explain bc im a lil sleepy but .. he’s..not afraid to cry in public.. its that type of energy. )

back to the story! his skills caught someone’s eye and subsequently invited andrew. however, he knew the family couldn’t afford it and he really didn’t want to leave san francisco ( just yet! ) and he refused. thinking that was the end of it, he went back to his normal routine thinking that all’s well ( but....he’s being observed still! )

with that, andrew spent his teenage years in sf. going to high school, helping out his fam, normal teenage stuff (with the added badassery of martial arts knowledge ig) and then....he fell in love. a girl by the name of celia whose parents were friends with andrew’s parents. after high school, the two decided to become steady and began to live together - though no plans of marriage was ever said ( im sure they thought about it tho ) and at some point during their time living together, celia became pregnant with andrew’s child. a son. ( they were like..20 years old when this happened, so they both have graduated already and were going to community college ) -- theodore michael leung ( a qt pi all on his own!! a star!! )

( death tw ) then tragedy happens when teddy turns 1. celia’s parents must have gotten the triad upset and celia’s parents were tragically slain in their home. andrew was watching teddy when he learned that in celia’s haste to get away, she was also caught in violent act. a neighbor had tried to take her to the hospital, but she was already dead when they arrived.

andrew was devastated. he moved back in with his parents, who were scared for him. his uncle ( who had triad connections ) vouched for him, however, and was told that him and teddy would be left alone. celia’s parents mistakes were not their mistakes.

but celia’s death hit him hard. his parents and the rest of the family were trying their best but he knew that a simple word wouldn’t be enough in the future. he wanted to secure teddy’s future. 

so when he was offered to go to blackthorne, he didn’t refuse. and no matter how bad things got there ( not to mention how bad the actual facilities were ), he trained hard and he didn’t try to cause a lot of trouble. 

the move to gallagher wasn’t surprising to andrew. blackthorne was basically a wilting plant waiting to be put out of its misery. it was a relief, almost. yet he knows that gallagher’s original students would take some time to get used to. i mean, come on. they have their own chefs! and the floors are so shiny, you could see yourself in them!

andrew is just here to learn the necessary skillz to protect his family, his child!1!!

the fun part! wanted connections: friendos (pleathe...), roommates (u get to squeal over pictures of his son!), some flirtationships ( drew is bi wink wonk ), and some people that he can complain about blackthorne to ( “blackthorne was wack yo. we had mystery soup” )

thank u for reading all this. ur a blessing and i hope u hav a great day!! 

[csmeaner]

I relate to the whole “used to love SF and wish I had one before having to look at it slowly fester and hopefully die with my own two eyes” thing.

I fell in love with SF even before I was aware of closed species. I was just casually in the Adoptables space and noticed some gorgeous designs being sold and incredibly curious what it was. The art was stellar, though the price tag was daunting. I stayed away from it because the money intimidated me, but I really did hold an appreciation for it even if I knew I could never buy one.

Lo and behold I come to find out that after it changed hands in ownership it’s been going down exponentially faster than it probably would have before. Put it out if its misery already man. Oh but they won’t stop beating the dead horse as long as it’s still spitting out money. <\3

it's really finding out someone you used to admire kicked puppies in their spare time

[lokbobpop]

Excitement

early 15c., "encouragement;" c. 1600, "something that tends to excite," from excite + -ment. Meaning "condition of mental and emotional agitation" is from 1846.

something that excites or rouses. 2 : the action of exciting : the state of being excited.

Excitement excite meant ex cite ment exc it e ment ex cite ment

Writing the word excitement

I thought about kryon saying on a recording the other day how he and anu played in all the energy that we created and didnt care about the hell people were living in creating this energy how they would lie in it mountains of it all for them only how they only let those below have small amounts and kept it to themself i want to say you awful mother fuckers i want to say get your ass down here now and really live what we have all lived within us for millions and millions of year how come not once in all that time did you not think about the people who were in hell everyday children being malested how could they not see what that did and aloud just so they could just wallow in others misery with out even a single thought of what they are doing then i looked how i have done the same within the animal kingdom where i have millions of animals die in horror so i can eat them they cry desperately not to be killed they cry for days for there calf back because we want there milk it all wrong we dotn have there best interest at heart we dont even see them as sentinel beings just animals less than ourselves it’s horrific how could i do this to them then i can go into blame well they did this to me and made me do this but i cant if they are not help responsible that means i cant be and i have ot be for what i do hand had done ot another. But i see this is something i still have to work out ive been hiding it from myself and others that I actually feel this way like not wanting ot look at it because no one else looks at it and i do see that im just as bad and do the same things as them i see the point of them ever actually thinking about us for one minute knowing the pain most life goes through down here i g=have thought about what i do many times how come they never did how do you do that with no thought for another what they are going through am i i the same no no in all ways is that why i never did what they did I to me and millions of other?

Reading excitement

Having fun laughing playing then the thought of this doesnt last very long its so short lived you might have excitement for a moment a few hours and if you are really lucky a few days but its not something you live all the time is it it cant be tapped into like now i want to live excitement for the rest of the day it’s like something has ot happen for you to be excited right you just cant bring it up at will and if you do it lasts moments what if you could just like excitement when you pleased and forever how long you pleased you decide whe you are and for how long? Well you can cant you really who said you cant but you cant i an energy why ot has to be from you your beingness not outside of you but you saying right now i want to live excitement but without the energy it brings within me as stable calm alive creating it within me being alive as me right now yes as me not in energy i see it the way to go.

What gets me excited I ask myself winning money getting something i really like a piece of furniture making love being with my family with dogs animals many things make me excited it just for short term and then you have ot pay the penalty of the polarity of that excitement because it wasnt real you were living in energy no your true being.

Boyfriends yes when i was younger the excitement i=of a new boyfriend was awesome for me i was so excited to meet an new guy and get to know him and what it would be like to be with this person i was taken away with the energy and living within it until it fell out and it wasnt so exciting anymore no it would go flat id get bored and want out of it.

I think of fair grounds and the excitement of there rides but mostly im afraid of all rides like i get scared easy but maybe thats the excitement of the ride so how do you do a ride and not go into energy of the ride but just enjoy it mm interesting thought

Saying excitement

When my heart trembles with excitement and i cant control the way it feels its out of my control

Fun and excitement looking for it within my relationship

Sf

Does this definition support me no i see i want to be excited but not sure how to handle it within me without going into energy like they say when someone has won a lot of money there whole mind is resetting everything within them now they have money its like has a complete upgrade to now see things in a new like the energy that comes up within the excitement is used to reset you in the mind constructs

Excitement ex see cement

Excitement

To be full calm with enjoyment to bring about an open awareness within me

I will live this word with looking into how to be excited without energy like to see what its liek to live this word without energy at my own free will yes i will live it in my ex next word and maybe with parts of my day i can live it cleaning my teeth yes whey not i choose when and that seems a good idea.

[fionnakristiawolf-blog]

Theoy about Bunnymuse’s SF Gaster

Mel found the SF AU and found SF Gaster himself. Except, when he wasn't insane. Mel needed medical assistance and luckily, SF was a doctor for monsters. He probably fell in love with her which is the reason why he was so determined to save her. But no matter how hard he tried, he wasn't able to save her, because her kind is different. Mel is a monster of sound. These monsters rely on music and other sound monsters for their health. They rely on each other. But since Mel didn't go back to underbeats, she died from whatever health problem she had. And since Swapfell was probably in love with her, he took his misery and anger out on his patients. He vented by killing them. And since he wanted to be with Mel... he killed himself. But he didn't actually die. He became stuck in the void. So his insanity and grew while being stuck there! He didn't care if other miss him. He didn't miss them. He just wanted Mel I guess... I swear to god if this is cannon... @bun-bunmuse

[randomnessunicorn-imagine]

US+SF+UF+UT Gaster reacting to one day coming home to see his SO asleep on the couch with wings made of chitin(it's what makes up most of a bugs wings, like butterflies, bees, dragonflies, ect) When SO wakes up and is asked about it, they freeze a moment, their wings tensing closer to them before slowly explaining that they are delicate and easily damaged, and didn't show him to avoid risking any damage done to them, and that SO didn't want to risk loosing him in case he thought they were ugly.

{ Aww~I’m happy to receive some asks about other characters that are not the skelebros, I love them –don’t let me be misunderstood- but I think every characters deserve love ~Then, I don’t know very well his Swap and SF version but I tried anyway -! And send me more asks about Gaster, he’s cool and I had so much fun writing this-!  }

⊰ Tale! Gaster ⊱

You were the one who saved him from the misery he lived when he was into the void.He has never believed in miracles, God or angels, in any religion since he was a scientist and scientists could not believe in those irrational and fancy things. This would be crazy.From the first time he saw you, he felt a strange feeling he has never felt in his life. Something brand new, magical and special. You gave to him life back. Like he saw the light of Heaven because you appeared just like an angel in his eyes and he has always thought you were too special for this world. These last days, Gaster worked so much in his lab and he ignored you, because science has always been his true and eternal love even if he loved you so much in the same way, but sometime his passion got the best of him without realizing. You knew it and you have never complained this behaviour of his, this was one of the reasons he adored you.He realized he ignored you a bit much and he wanted to apologise to you because he thought he was not the mate you deserved and he had to spend more time with you.The moment he came back home hearing only the sound of the clock. Tick tock. No other sound, it was quite sad. He did not call your name, he just searched for you until he found you laying on the couch. When he noticed your wings, he remained enchanted. He could have never imagined something so beautiful. You were just like a terrestrial angel for him, but you were a real angel. He could not believe his eyes. Maybe he was dreaming.You were so scared and worried for reasons he could not understand and he felt sad and guilty because he knew it was his fault. He neglected you this period and he was unpardonable. You explained to him that you felt uncomfortable with your wings and they were so delicate and you were afraid he could find you disgusting since they seemed bugs wings. Gaster just smiled at you sweetly, walking up to you with his slow steps. Caressing your forehead, he assured you that you were perfect the way you were and your wings were so beautiful and extraordinary. He could never hate you, he thought he was the one to be hated. It was pretty funny and strange. He kissed your forehead telling he loved you so much with his timid voice because it was a thing he was not used to say, asking for your forgiveness because he was not so present in your life. You had nothing to worry because he was not going to leave you because of your wings. It was something so marvellous.

⊰ Fell! Gaster ⊱

Science was his true and real love and so many times he asked himself why you were his mate. It was an illogical mystery for him. Sometime he ignored this fact, keeping living his days with this unsolved mystery but, other times, he wondered why he could love a mere and simple human like you. He spent hours thinking about it, observing you with his cynical and scrutineer orbs while you were doing your jobs. Why? It was the most annoying question mark. It was so frustrating for a scientist not to understand something so simple. He was going crazy. You could see he was mad to you for something but you have never asked for an explication so the two of you ignored to each others. Gas was an egocentric and cold person who thought only to himself, he did not care even about Sans and Papyrus, and he did not consider them like his children or worthy of his consideration. Sometime, he said they were not his real sons but only two spoiled and annoying kids he decided to take care of because he felt particular generous in that moment of his life. At first, he started dating you only because he pitied you and he wanted to use you like his personal guinea pig for his eccentric experiments. Then, he strangely forgot this idea seeing you like a “not so bad” company. He had to discover the reason why he felt that way for you and he was sick and tired of this confusion that did not make him sleep at night and that was driving him mad.One day, Gas decided to come home earlier than his usual because he wanted to have a conversation with you, maybe he would have understood the reason why he found you more interesting than the other living organisms.The moment he opened the door, seeing you sleeping on the couch his soul missed a beat, and he felt a strange warmth inside his body even if it was not new. This was another question mark. Then, when he noticed your wings, he got curious and he desired to know what those wings were and where they came from since he has never seen them on you before. His imagination was exploring weird places of perversion and he wanted to study your new nature but your voice landed him into the reality and those horrible desires vanished instantly. You were afraid because you thought Gas was mad at you for have hidden your wings, like you lied to him about your real nature but you were only ashamed of yourself. When you explained to him your feelings, he could not understand even if he was incapable to say something sweet and comforting.Actually, Gas did not act mad like you thought; his voice was not that rude even if he was still serious. He told that he did not care you had wings or anything else. It was ok, that made you different from other humans. If you truly hated your wings he could have taken them off through a surgery, it was quite painful but if they made you uncomfortable. Don’t be worry, Gas did not want  to hurt you, since he did not want to use you for his experiments, anymore.The next day you would notice his behaviour changed, he appeared less rude and maybe he realized the sentiment he felt for you was not pity or curiosity, but something else he was still incapable to confess you.

⊰ Swap! Gaster ⊱

He has always been a weird man since he was the river man with the right mystery around him. Nobody knew his true identity, maybe you were the only one since you were always kind and sweet with him, sharing to him the lunches you bought to Muffet’s, listening to all his particular quotes and he was happy for this. You were his favourite human and company, his only company. Gasty loved so much bringing you to his boat singing you songs about the Underground or simple stories and fables because they were amusing and he felt so relaxed by your side. You made his life worthy and less boring.Even his job like as gondolier was getting better since so many people wanted to join him in his boat trips, driving everyone in the Underground. He became friendlier than before thanks to you, he did not care if he appeared less mysterious, since it was great to be happy.The day he came back home seeing you so sad and exhausted, he could not believe you were so tired and he suddenly approached you asking for an explication. Then, he noticed your wings and he realized he was not the only mysterious creature here and he felt nicely shocked, he laughed slightly. Then, you explained to him that you hated your wings because they appeared so weak and ugly, they were just like insect’s wings and this fact was so gross for you. Gasty did not think your wings were weird, they were so beautiful and you should have been proud being so special and gorgeous. He was sure everybody would congratulate to you and you had no reasons to hide them. He was so cold and suspicious before he met you, you helped him so much to become a better person and now he desired helping you with this problem because the things people considered flaws usually were not.

⊰ SwapFell! Gaster ⊱

You were an odd person. Really the oddest person alive if you wanted to spend your precious time with him, the weirdest gondolier of the Underground, actually he was the only gondolier here (and he was enough for now).Gassy could not understand why you enjoyed so much his stories that he found quite boring and a lot of them were real scary and you should have the taste of macabre if you kept listening to his horror stories, wow-! He was impressed but he has never manifested his curiosity to you, he always treated you with indifference and rudeness but you came back to him anyway and everyday so he got used to your presence. You were his greatest client –and he did not have so many customers since he had a bad reputation and everyone felt uncomfortable on his boat. Some legends said that some of his customers have never came back and they disappeared into the river, eaten by the mysterious creatures that lived there. Gassy was the one who loved to narrate these stories saying he only fed the beasts that lived in the waters of the Underground. It was one of his duties, but it was just a legend you did not believe. You thought he had a big imagination and it was so funny.When he saw you laying on the couch so weak and lifeless he thought the worst… Not that he cared about you but it was strange since you were the bright and amusing person here, not him. Then, he noticed your wings and he did not know what to think about it, maybe they were fake and you wanted to play some game with him…? A sort of role-playing even if he was too old for it. You woke up confused and alarmed because you did not want him to see your wings, they were your misery and shame. You explained to him your fear but he told you that he would have left you before, even without wings, but he was still here for reasons unknown for him and you were not that bad. You were good enough and your wings were not a problem for him, but maybe someone could have found them weird but he was ready to feed his lovely marine monsters with their wicked flesh.

[fic-dreamin]

Through the past darkly - a no spoilers review "11/22/63", Stephen King's latest, might just be his greatest. Seriously. At least as far as "mainstream" fiction or "literature" goes. Yes, it is built around a well-used SF trope, time travel, but really, the portal to the past that Jake Epping is shown in the back of an aluminum diner is only the launch mechanism for this fantastic journey. There are no monsters here, at least none that aren't human, and little or no horror in the supernatural sense that King's constant readers have come to know, love and expect. Even SK's other "straight" fiction, "Misery", "Dolores Claiborne" and "The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon" come to mind, had elements of the supernatural and/or flat-out horror. Not this time. Go to Amazon

I highly recommend it – to anyone who lived through that era If you found a window into the past, would you pass through it and try to right a wrong that happened in 1963? Would you consider what effect your actions, even the tiniest ones, would have on the future? That is what faced Jake Epping when he fell down the rabbit hole in his friend’s diner. He didn’t realize that what he was doing could have a negative effect on the future, and he didn’t anticipate how obdurate the past can be. The past doesn’t want to change, and the more you challenge it, the more it resists. Go to Amazon

An evocative read that will fling you from one emotion to another and create mystery out of history What to say? WOW! I am a huge Stephen King fan and a massive sci-fi lover, so this was the best of both worlds. For once, I did things backwards and watched the series before reading the book! I loved both, though of course they were different. I didn't mind that. Go to Amazon

Nonstop Excitement and Endless Possibilities I loved this book from start to finish. I had no idea what to expect just imagining the "what if" possibilities if time travel existed and the butterfly effect doing so would cause. I am one of millions who can remember that fateful day as though it were yesterday and what I was doing at the time. I wanted to enter Stephen King's world of time travel to see, if only in story telling, to what extent our history would change if President Kennedy were to be saved. The characters are great, everyday people, some twisted and colorful, and of course our time traveler, who was in the right place (or wrong place) at the right time to go on this journey. This is a must read. Go to Amazon

Beautiful I loved this book This book is magical, but not in a good way... Great book Five Stars Superb story Not my fave read. Best book Not Just Another Time Travel A great read!

[ronaldmrashid]

When Income Is More Important Than Net Worth For Financial Freedom

Everything in personal finance seems to go around in circles.

In the past, I argued that it’s better to focus on net worth growth over income growth. To their detriment, many people didn’t focus on what they kept, only what they earned. With nothing to show for after a couple decades of work, misery ensues!

Given job income is the main source of income for the majority of people, by definition you’ll never truly be free if you mainly focus on income. Only when you build a large enough net worth can you truly be beholden to no one.

But over the past several years, I’ve noticed that focusing too much on net worth and not enough on income growth has created a scarcity mindset. Before I explain what I mean, here are eight reasons why focusing on net worth is important.

Reasons To Focus On Net Worth

1) The government goes after income, not wealth. We have a progressive tax system in America. The more you make, the more the government will take away. If you are in the top tax bracket in places like California, New Jersey, or New York, you will be pay a total federal + state marginal tax rate over 50%. But if you have $10 million dollars that generates $200,000 a year in dividends, you only pay a 15% tax rate. But eventually, the government will go after your wealth beyond the $5.49M mark per person.

2) Subsidized health care. Under Obamacare, if you make more than 400% of the poverty level as deemed by the government, you no longer get subsidized healthcare. For singles, that income limit is roughly $46,000, and for families of three or four, that income limit is roughly $78,00 and $94,000 respectively. But imagine if your family of three has a $5 million net worth and nobody worked. You have no debt of any kind and all you need money for is food, clothing, and entertainment. Let’s say out of your $5 million net worth, $3 million is an investment portfolio and $2 million is in real estate. Your $3 million stock portfolio produces $60,000 a year in dividends. Under the ACA, your family gets ~$3,500 a year in subsidy, despite being multi-millionaires. Meanwhile, a family of three earning $85,000 with 1/20th your net worth gets $0 subsidies.

3) Alternative Minimum Tax (AMT) Exemptions. The AMT exemption amount for tax year 2017 is ~$54,300 for individuals and ~$84,500 for married couples filing jointly. The AMT hasn’t been adequately adjusted to catch up with inflation for years because the government knows this is a great way to generate more tax revenue from the middle class. Once you start making much more than $200,000 MAGI, you start paying a hefty amount of AMT.

4) Child tax credit. To keep things simple, the phase out threshold is $55,000 for married couples filing separately, $75,000 for single, head of household, and qualifying widow or widower filers, and $110,000 for married couples filing jointly. For every $1,000 of income above the threshold, your available child tax credit is reduced by $50. Therefore, if you are thinking about having children, keep these income limits in mind if you want to extract more from the government or not pay more to the government. A family of three with a $1 million net worth and income of $40,000 can get a child tax credit while a family of three earning $60,000 a year with a $25,000 net worth can’t get anything.

5) Different wealth mindset. If you have an income mindset, you’re likely a worker bee. If you have a wealth mindset, you figure out a way to build massive equity in your business or other people’s businesses for next level wealth. Some are now arguing that the only way to buy property and raise a family in expensive places like London, Hong Kong, San Francisco, and New York is through equity, not income. Unfortunately, this is becoming more and more true the longer this bull market lasts.

6) Net worth is more stealth. Net worth can be spread across many different companies and investments. It’s much harder to calculate one’s true net worth than one’s income. Nosy people can guess a portion of your net worth through visible holdings like your primary residence and your vehicle. But they will have an impossible time figuring out the whole thing. For folks who like privacy and following the Stealth Wealth mantra, net worth is much more important.

7) Less temptation to spend wastefully. Income usually comes in a regular bi-weekly or monthly cadence. Each time there’s an injection of income, there’s a temptation to spend. There’s a reason why casinos are much more full during the middle and end of the month. Your net worth is much more complicated and much less liquid. As a result, there’s much less temptation to pilfer your net worth for short-term desires. For example, I can’t withdraw from my private equity funds without paying a penalty. It also takes a lot of preparation to sell a property. With income, I can spend it instantaneously.

Related: Long Term Investing Is All About Saving Yourself From Yourself

8) Higher feeling of security. The feeling of security might be the biggest reason to focus on building a large net worth vs. building a large income stream. Everybody’s number is different, but I promise you that you will feel much more secure once you reach your wealth number vs. once you reach your income number. Your net worth is generally much more sticky if you properly diversify. Your income can be extremely volatile, especially if you are in a revenue producing role where a bonus makes up a large percentage of total compensation. You can lose 100% of your income one day, but it is unlikely you will ever lose your entire net worth, unless you were over-leveraged.

Why Net Worth Might Be A Scarcity Mindset

So why can focusing on net worth be considered a scarcity mindset? The main reasons have to do with taxation and receiving government benefits.

By keeping your household income low, a lot of people can pay less than a 10% effective tax rate. Some households can essentially pay nothing due to child tax credits, pre-tax retirement contributions, exemptions, and deductions (standard or itemized).

Paying little to no taxes is fine, but it essentially means your income is not great enough to pay more taxes. I know so many people who purposefully stop working, give up their side hustles, and let themselves go due to the desire to minimize taxes and get government healthcare subsidies. They’ve completely limited their potential.

Wouldn’t you much rather pay $75,000 in taxes and keep $175,000 than pay $5,000 in taxes but only keep $35,000 a year? I sure as heck would.

Minimizing our tax burden is one of the most important exercises given the government is so wasteful with our tax dollars. But purposefully limiting your income potential in order to pay less taxes and receive subsidies is backwards looking.

Income Growth Mindset

Between the age of 22 – 34, I had an income mindset. An income mindset is what made me take the risk of moving from NYC to SF with a new firm. Despite not knowing anybody in SF, the pay was too good to pass up. An income mindset is what made me work longer hours to get promoted faster. By shoveling up to 80% of my after tax income into investments for 13 years, an income mindset ultimately allowed me to exit the workforce early.

But after I left the workforce, my entire money ideology shifted towards a net worth mindset because I wanted to take a break and preserve capital. In essence, a net worth mindset reflected a burnt out man who didn’t want to hustle any longer. Related: One Of The Biggest Financial Mistakes Early Retirees Make

From age 34 – 36, my investments returned more than my income not because my investments were so great, but because my income fell by 80% after I left the working world. If I had not completely forsaken the income mindset, I would be in a financially better position today.

Publishing my 2017 mid-year investment review illustrated how important it is to focus on income growth. Contributions equaled 10X my expected annual return. In other words, even if there was a 50% decline in my investment returns, I could get back to even in six months time with continuous contributions.

Put it another way, investment returns are no longer the driving force behind my net worth growth, income growth is once again. It’s like going back to my 20s, but with larger dollar amounts at work.

Benefits Of An Income Mindset

1) Helps eradicate laziness. After a certain point, holding on to a net worth mindset is due to laziness. With an income mindset, you’ll always be thinking about ways to generate extra income for you or your family’s financial security. Once you’ve reached your net worth target, all the more reason to try something new.

2) Provides a tremendous investment buffer. Although the investment environment has been wonderful since 2009, having an income mindset allows you to continuously build your nest egg in downturns. Your income becomes most powerful when you can contribute more each year than the amount you could realistically lose each year, e.g. contributing enough in 2008 so that you are even in your stock portfolio even though the S&P 500 declined by 36.55%. During good times, you can run up the score.

3) Keeps you active and healthy. To make money you need to interact with people. When you interact with people, sometimes you make friends and stimulate the mind. I’ve found that doing private 1X1 consulting, corporate consulting, coaching tennis, attending meet ups, and meeting up with business partners for steak dinners have all helped keep me active and healthy. Often times the camaraderie is even more important than the money.

4) More immediately fulfilling. There are less grey areas when it comes to measuring income than when it comes to measuring net worth. For example, there’s a +/- 15% valuation range for my real estate portfolio, and likely a +/- 50% valuation range for my online business. With income, what you see is what you get, and it’s likely all do to your effort. There’s something very fulfilling with earning more after trying harder. A strong correlation with effort and reward is why entrepreneurship is so rewarding, and why working at a big corporation or the government may be less fulfilling.

5) Easier to demonstrate a good work ethic. If you’re a parent, an income mindset will help you consistently demonstrate a strong work ethic so your children don’t grow up to be entitled brats. A strong work ethic will also engender admiration from your partner, friends, and family members. The more people respect you, the happier you will be.

Retirement Is A Curious Thing

I always thought that I’d live off my passive income and be done with this work thing. But early retirement has a funny way of letting you focus on things you really enjoy doing. In my case, it’s writing about personal finance online.

Sometimes, you get so utterly enamored with your passion project that you unexpectedly make a healthy income. When you earn something unexpectedly that’s when you finally feel rich. Now I’m back to investing most of my income in assets that will hopefully generate enough passive income to take care of my family forever.

Net worth is still more important than income when it comes to financial freedom. Just don’t get carried away by completely forsaking your income generating abilities once you’ve achieved a comfortable number, especially during a bull market. At least find ways to make money through activities you truly enjoy. Who knows. You might surprise yourself one day!

Related:

Target Net Worth Amounts By Age, Income, Or Work Experience

Abolish Welfare Mentality: A Janitor Makes $270,000 A Year

Median Income By Age And Sex In America

Readers, what are your thoughts on the symbiotic relationship between net worth and income? For those who reached a comfortable net worth or target net worth, have you found yourself forsaking income due to laziness or burn out? How do you find the right balance between the two?

from http://www.financialsamurai.com/when-income-is-more-important-than-net-worth-for-financial-freedom/

[nanokelvin]

I wish this could be said face to face, but sadly it is looking like that won’t happen.  

Anyway…

The other day I was sitting on the muni, and for no reason I had this impulse to look at your Instagram. I don’t know why. But I did. To my surprise, I could see you. Your profile was no longer privet. Radiant, much like how you were when fell in love with you. It was precisely what I wanted to see; however probably not what everyone else on the train who had to experience this grown ass man have a real rare moment #shook 

That’s it though, that’s why all this happened. I mean, of course you’re happier than you were with me. Ya know that meme with the pitbull that’s looking all sad and says, “when she calls you out for being a dog n leaves you but you low key proud of her for sticking up for herself finally”.

Heh.

Yeah, I feel like that.  It hurts. But I needed to leave you, because don’t think you would have left me and you were far from happy. I know I know, this is some white knight type of bullshit. But I was not helping. I was holding you back. The Mamma llamas agreed, both of them. It was for me aswell, but not as dire or critical? I remember you kept asking if someone else was pushing for that decision because it didn’t seem like this was something I really wanted. Yeah, that’s true. I didn’t but at that point it was more of a need.

I guess you’re due for a little update on my life. Uhh where to start …. Oh! In no particular order: I dropped 145 pounds on my face… her name is barbell. That was fun. Hmm, I’ve cooked a bunch of new dinners. Honestly my favorite is also the simplest which is roasted lemon chicken with rosemary. Been baking as well.  So many cookies. I think you’d like the toffee chocolate chip ones. Lots of siting on roof tops staring into the city watching the lights. I’ve gone home and woken up with a couple different people –nothing spectacular. Found love on top of a mountain, then swiftly broke their heart within a month because I did not love them. I can say I love you to my friends which I never did before.  Hmm, decided on a grad school, and I’ve started to tailor my CV –looking at some other labs to be in the meantime.  A friend rented a house in SC and stayed there for a weekend with a bunch of other rad people.  Oh! Raced a fucking car. Booked a flight to Europe. Just got a new place in SF. Been drawing and painting in traditional media again which feels absolutely wonderful. Been working out (hence the 145 lbs being unduly introduced to my face). Maybe I’ll get that beach body… doubt it but I feel good. Got that tattoo I wanted! I don’t think you’d like it lol. Probably get more of them though. Been going to a bunch of punk/music shows! And I have cut the amount of videos games and internet shit I do. Each time something happens I want to tell you about it, but I don’t think you’d appreciate that. Not in the slightest. Nonetheless that’s the past four months for me. My review would give the last four months an resounding ehhh?

Our collective misery or happiness might have been in part because of each other but I don’t think so. Not entirely at least. We had some amazing moments, and our bad ones were not that bad. Though, I think our individual states are a testament that long distance is fucking awful and I do believe we would have been better off if we didn’t try. It feels like there’s a canyon and a pile of smoldering embers of a once magnificent bridge at the bottom. 

That fucking sucks. 

[ecotone99]

[SF] The campus of rebirth

When he came towards me, I could see his face was old and his body even older. The brown army style fatigues hanging saggy off his crooked back. It seems being a janitor is a risk for your wellbeing. His glasses looked like bricks, making his eyes seem unnatural, turning them into more then there should be. His crooked fingers looked like boney spider legs. His deep voice came from lips pressed together so tightly; you’d have to have a magnifying glass to make them out. He told me to turn around, campus was closed for the day. But I insisted I had to get to my locker and be up and away right after. Not heeding any more of his words, I pressed by and rounded a corner to the science faculty. It was as if lightning hit my brain right in the center. I closed my eyes to embrace the pain and when I opened them, I was dumbfounded to find the faculty laying rotten. The walls around me stained by water damage, crawling into the gaps between tiles. The ground cracked by plant roots that originated from the different rooms around. Lights broken, having strewn their glass onto the floor below. Dimly lit only by the dust heavy light that oozed from open or unhinged doors. The janitor was nowhere to be seen.

Faintly I could hear crunching footsteps and sharp breathing as the falling dust from decaying ceiling panels slowly engulfed me. I coughed as a mixture of rot, dust and asbestos filled every inch of my lung. The footsteps came closer, sounded multiple to the one’s humans used to make. In my panicked state of mind my feet declined working like they did a million times before. Breathing heavily in the thick air around me I found myself trapped in my own body. Looking for a way to escape this surreal piece of art I looked around. If I had just hopped through the closest door, I would have escaped the footsteps that loomed to round the next corner. The hallway around me creaked as if it was about to come crashing down on me every second now. The decay seemed to have gotten the better of the structural integrity. It was realistic to assess the mold and plant spores must have made the walls brittle and holey. I felt my mind wander off the situation at hand, analyzing the damage that had been done to the science faculty over the course of a day. Instead I should have continued to listen for more footsteps and signs of whatever it was that came crunching towards me. I snapped out of that diversion of thought when I heard a sharp crunch two junctions over. I could make out a brownish leg feeling around the corner of the wall. Although only dimly with the subtle light coming from a door opposite of the junction. When the creature emerged, sniffing around like a guard dog, my breathing stopped. I felt my heart sink to the bottom of my stomach and then some. The multitude of legs came to a crunching halt when it finally noticed me. An arrangement of black eyes twitching about nervously until fixating me completely. The brownish carapace trembled as the legs started to move into position.

A deep growl emerged from the creatures’ head where no mouth or snout could be made out. My mind urged to run, to escape this hellish place and avoid the creature. And nearly I had acted upon that urge. Yet when I saw it spread its wings, my body felt like gelatin. I couldn’t quite believe my own eyes and was locked into pure amazement and fear alike. If you’d assessed the situation right then and there, this creature must have been a roach. It moved from side to side, crunching on the broken glass below. Angrily picking away at the wall, trying to chase me away. My mind tried to reason with it, forming soothing words. But none would escape my mouth as I was unable to speak nor make any other sound. The creature came stomping towards me, it’s wings almost spanned to the width of the hallway. Dust followed in its way and waved past it when it came to a halt at the next junction. Still eyeing me up and down, growling, clicking.

My mouth opened but could not scream. My arms flailed about wildly as I tried to move. My legs still would decline working. Upon looking down to have a word with them, I finally noticed what had been holding me back. An assortment of insects crawled about my toes in a heap of life. The scientist in me noticed species usually attacking each other, working together to entangle my feet with roots and flooring. The more I pulled, the faster the insects pulsed. It was a truly fascinating sight to behold. The diversity, the teamwork of a hundred little creatures in restraining the big and mighty human. The same human that had willingly stomped or carelessly stepped on so many of them in his lifetime. I had watched them do so until they reached my knees, seemingly cocooning me. When I managed to look back up, I was face to face with the mass of eyes that had been staring at me from the hallway far away. Tears dropped from my eyes as I stood there in terror, unable to scream for help or at least scream at the creature. Unable to move even an inch as I felt the insects working their way up my thighs. The creature’s antennas caressed my face, its front legs feeling about on my torso, its eyes analyzing my features. In my mind I got ready to get eaten right there and then. Dragged into some lair to turn into a feast for its offspring. Or worshippers. Or companions. No such thing happened. I was guarded by the creature as the insects kept cocooning my very being until everything was covered except my face.

And then, with a thorn on one of its legs, the creature stabbed me right where my heart was. Sharp pain filled my limbs and torso instantly, the very first feeling I regained when the insects retreated to the ground and vanished through the many gaps and holes they came from. The creature went on distance and watched on, nervously flapping its wings about. I felt my body bursting under immense pressure and the spell that had closed my throat broke. I screamed as much as my lungs would allow. I felt my insides turn to liquid and a burning sensation in my head. I felt like I had gone to hell and was burned alive for all the sins in my life. The many insects I had probably killed. The lies I had told. The ant farm I had forgotten over summer break. It all came back to me.

Limbs sprouted from my body; in places no human would ever even think about growing limbs. My back opened and spit out thick oozing masses to cover what was left of me. The mass grew and grew as I helplessly watched on and screamed like a madman. It was growing into a carapace. The oozing mass stopped growing where my face began, only to make room for an arrangement of antennas that sprouted from my head. My screaming stopped as my face grew into a featureless piece of skin, opening holes where eyes began to form. I could still feel my mouth but there was no opening, my screaming turned to growling. Roots and ground cracked and fell off my body, sending me crashing to the ground, helplessly flailing my multitude of legs about. Although free of my shackles, having a new set of limbs required every drop of my mind to even move them in an orderly fashion. Slippery they failed to get a foothold as I twitched on the floor below. My many eyes seemed to look in every direction at once. The rot around me engulfed me further as I lay there in a mixture of plants, crawling insects and other such atrocities.

All that time the creature had watched me and came towards me as I was finally able to stop my panic attack. Its front legs grabbed me by the shoulders, or what was left of them and put me on my feet. Again, it looked me up and down, growling deeply. In a fit of rage about my situation, confused as to what had happened in its entirety, I started swinging every limb I had. I swung them at the creature, which in return kicked me with its front leg and shook me violently. I wanted the creature to finally end it. To put me out of my misery. Put me out of the fight I had taken up. But it did no such thing. It grabbed me and dragged me towards a wall, propping me up against it, eyeing me with its unnatural eyes. More creatures came crunching towards us. One bigger than the other. A spider, hairy yet boney tried to squeeze past the roach. An insect I had never seen before clicked its fangs while rubbing its legs. A moth flapped about and flew in and out of vision behind the others. I tried looking down, see what I had turned into and saw my greenish body lay folded in the middle. The cocoon had turned me into what I recognized to be a grasshopper. All the creatures began growling and making all sorts of noise. Clicking their fangs, pushing each other aside as if they fought for a meal. I again couldn’t move an inch, not even if I wanted to. So, I accepted my fate and closed my eyes. Hoping to breath my last breath soon. Everything went silent.

When I opened my eyes, boney spider legs felt around my face and thick bricks of glass were almost sitting on my nose. The old man with the saggy brown fatigues kept shaking me. I felt a slap hit my cheek. Next to him I recognized faculty staff. The lights were too bright for my eyes and the sound of their voices angered me. In a flash I tried to get up with my head hurting like I had kissed a wall head on. Looking over the janitors shoulder I saw that that had been the very case. In my hurry I had hit a row of lockers head on. Blood was still running down my face as I tried to drown out the many voices and wriggle free of the grip of many hands that tried to hold me down. I struggled but soon was at the end of my strength. I fell into a welcomed slumber.

I woke up some time after, to my new self. People in white lab coats surrounded me, prodding my body. Taking liquids from it and murmuring behind facemasks. Against my restraints I looked down to see six green legs tied to a bed. I tried snapping my fangs at them and reaching another with my antennas. Growling loudly when I tried to speak. I struggled against the bindings on my body, trying to wind out of the situation I had found myself in.

This went on for days and days as I lost count. Sometime later I was reborn, back to my former self. Able to talk, walk, write, study and live a normal human life. Doctors told me to take the medicine and rest for some time. My head hurts since. As I write this, I think about the concept of my dorm room being on the fifth floor and having a window so wide I’d fit through. Outside the dirty glass I can see insects going about their day freely. We are all insects to someone bigger than us. Who would stop them from stomping us dead? I locked my door and found shelter on my bed. Insects are not welcome here, so maybe neither am I.

submitted by /u/KeSeHa_written [link] [comments] via Blogger https://ift.tt/3cBdk8m