#sexy beasts netflix

[norbezjones]

AU-gust in September #6: Reality Show (Romance The Backrooms)

So, here’s the deal.  I couldn’t participate in my beloved AU-gust event last month, because I was busy.  So I thought, fuck it, I’ll just participate this month instead, because we as humans can do whatever we want, and screw the rules lmao!  And that’s what I’m doing.

The event is “supposed” to be for fanfiction, but I want to write AUs for my game Romance The Backrooms, a liminal space otome with 5 main love interests, so I’m gonna do that instead.  Like I said, screw the rules! X)

Since September has only 30 days, I’ll treat Day 31’s prompt as a Joker (aka a prompt I can switch out if I don’t like the day’s chosen prompt).

Today’s Prompt: Reality Show

Characters: Carla , Kalcal, Glarence, Uri, Zenobos, and Adiel

Other Info: The reality show I’m basing this on is Sexy Beasts, specifically the Netflix version, because it’s one of my favorite trash TV shows.  In the show, people in weird prosthetic masks (which are usually animal-themed) date other people in weird prosthetic masks—the idea is to judge a person on personality, not appearance.  In this story, Carla has a shrew mask; Kalcal has a hyena one; Glarence has a bull one; Uri has an owl one; Zenobos has a rabbit one; and Adiel has a panther one.

_________

Host: Welcome back to Sexy Beasts!  Tonight, we have a quintet of animal bachelors to introduce to our shrew-d bachelorette: Carla.

Carla: Well, um, I have been looking to have someone new in my life. . . And this show was in town so I thought, why not?

Host: Great!  And what are you looking for in a furry friend—err, boyfriend?

Carla: Someone strong & supportive, with a soft side.  Someone I can cuddle with when we watch movies and have picnics with when it’s nice out.

Host: Quite a list of requirements!  Well, let’s go meet our first eligible gentleman: our cackling hyena, Kalcal.

Kalcal: Hahaha!  Hi!  Man, I love this mask!  The makeup team did a hell of a job, huh?

Host: They certainly did, you filthy animal!  So, what are you looking for in a mate?

Kalcal: I want someone who’s gonna be fun!  Someone I can laugh with. . . Someone who knows how to have a good time!

Host: I’m sure being with you would provide a barrel of laughs!  But enough about Kalcal?  How about we introduce our brutish bull, Glarence!

Glarence: Hmph.

Host: So, cut the bullshit and tell us: what are you looking for in a woman?

Glarence: I want someone who can get on my level.  I don’t like shallow, weak people—I need someone strong.

Host: Interesting!  Well, let’s move on to our next dating candidate: Uri, our local barn owl.

Uri: Um, hello. . .

Host: As you can see, Uri is a real hoot!  Tell us, Uri, what are you looking for in a woman?

Uri: I just want to date someone kind, I suppose.  Someone with a big heart. . . Does that make sense?

Host: Absolutely, you wise owl you!  Now, onto our next sexy beast: Zenobos, the fidgety rabbit.

Zenobos: H-Hi!

Host: So tell me, bunny boy: what do you desire in a partner?

Zenobos: W-Well, I suppose I want someone with an inquisitive mind, someone who likes to wonder about the world and explore things in life.

Host: You are one deep rabbit!  And now, to our final candidate: Adiel, our roaring panther!

Adiel: Why, hello!

Host: Tell us, tiger—I mean, panther: what are you looking for in a mate?

Adiel: I want someone who’s brave, someone with a lot of heart & inner strength.

Host: Fantastic!

Host: Alright, that’s all our sexy beasts.  Let’s get this show started!

[thekenobee]

So you're telling me that Jacob lost a father but found a daughter

[moreeels]

castlevania collab is starting to piss me off sorry. Im glad grampa gets to retire by killing people forever but themed modifier and a dedicated tome and almost four(?) months of castlevania being the shiny new chapter is too much for me. and dracula isnt even sexy.

[orphancookie69]

Netflix: Dating Show Ranking!

It has been a hot minute since I did a ranking, and when I was doing research on Netflix for another post it hit me, there is a lot of them and that would make for a great ranking post! So here goes nothing...nothing good that is! 

Too Hot To Handle (US/Brazil/Latino/Germany): As a viewer, this has the most drama. For the attendee, it has the most growth. Sexaholics learn to love themselves and not hide from their problems? Hell yeah! 

Singles Inferno: This is a Korean show I think, and I love that not only are you watching this-but you are watching the host group watch it too. The format is very unique and I can never guess the outcome! 

Love Island: This is a lovely show, it would be cooler to catch it live and be part of the voting audience-but the format is better for forming lasting relationships once the cameras stop rolling. 

Sexy Beasts: This show I feel is underrated. Yes this may be for the furries out there, but who doesn’t want to be afraid to be themselves because they are hiding in a costume? Excellent costumes I might add. 

Love is Blind: This is probably one of the only shows on this list I could ever imagine myself going on. I love taking the distractions out and removing the prejudices of looks. I wish this show had better odds, as far as couples making it. But its the perfect crash course of boy meets girl, sleep together, live together, meet the folks, and get the damn wedding over with! 

The Ultimatum: This is made by the people that make LIB. Very interesting premise, couples “stuck” issue an ultimatum to one another: marry or move on. They “exchange” partners with other like minded couples and live with the experience partner for 3 weeks, then back to the original partner for 2 weeks then answer the ultimatum. You never know how valuable an outside perspective can be. 

Are You The One?: This is not bad, interesting to see who you think you belong with compared to “experts”. 

The Circle: Love this show. It can be a dating show, but out of like, 5 seasons...I think there is only really one couple from this show? Dating is a tactic, and even the most recent season-everyone was “single” and many at the end had to come clean and admit they actually were not. Great show though. 

Dated & Related: This is not what you think. Two people go on that are related in some way, and act as each other’s wing man as they date other related pairs. This is similar to other dating shows, and the other person there to help or hurt doesn’t add enough spice to move this higher on the list. 

I did write this in Jan/Feb of 2023 and depending on how Netflix feels, by the time you read this-not all of these shows may be available for viewing. Be sure you make some time for “Netflix and Chill” parties to catch them! Have you seen any of these? Would you change the rankings at all? 

[pirateprincessblog]

contract

𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐜𝐫.: a witcher (polish: wiedźmin) is someone who has undergone extensive training, ruthless mental and physical conditioning, and mysterious rituals in preparation for becoming an itinerant slayer for hire. this witcher is currently in novigrad, and is overshadowed by his fellow brother. whenever a contract for a monster is issued, it is geralt of rivia they expect. seonghwa has grown tired of the disappointed faces that greet him when he accepts a contract, and thus has decided to rest in the big city and let the other witcher do the job. even after geralt left for skellige islands in search of his daughter cirilla, seonghwa decides to keep aside out of spite.

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: park seonghwa x f!reader 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 5.3k 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬: witcher!seonghwa, catschool!seonghwa, highervampire!reader, f!reader, the witcher universe, smut, angst 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬: oral(f!receiving), fingering, squirting, bondage 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: blood, violence, alcohol, nsfw, vampires 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬: replaying witcher 3 and I absolutely love this universe! i hate what netflix did to it, it made it all gloomy and sexual and has little to no connection to the lore and aside from henry cavill and his sexy ass voice the show is a complete disaster. if you want to know more about this universe before reading, i suggest you watch this(these animations contain violence, nudity and blood in them!): https://youtu.be/1-l29HlKkXU?si=HAI0GckIcphtcTRa and https://youtu.be/c0i88t0Kacs?si=vvXEaYu_SThzEPNT

not entirely proofread forgive me! 𝐃𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐫: 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐚 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤 𝐨𝐟 𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐡�� 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐰𝐚𝐲.

the witcher sips his drink at the rosemary and thyme cabaret. the redanian lager in the wooden pitcher has never tasted worse, and the music has never scratched his ears as badly as tonight. he hated what jaskier has done with the brothel. a cabaret, he scoffs to himself.

"oi, witcher!"

the man sighs. even though he was forcing himself to drink the beer and didn't enjoy it, he also didn't enjoy being interrupted.

"'ave you checked the notice board? there's a witcher contract hangin' there for weeks!" the accent behind him is rough. a dwarf, he guesses. but he doesn't have to guess, because the short figure appears in front of him and slams the crumpled piece of paper on the wooden table. "while you're 'ere tryna plough some whores, there's a threat inside the city gates!"

"geralt can handle that." the witcher mumbles, pushing the paper away. he drinks another sip of the warm beer, eyes fixed on the discarded medallion next to his two swords on the table. "he is the mighty wolfie. i'm sure he'll handle it."

"in case ya haven't noticed," the dwarf dares to get into the witcher's face, even goes as far as to flick him on the forehead. "the white wolf has gone lookin' for his lost lass. he is probably already in skellige, solvin' contract after contract and still workin' on finding cirilla. like a true witcher."

when the witcher's eyes start glimmering a familiar yellow, and his irises resemble the cat's, it is a sign for the dwarf to back away. the man places the pitcher with a loud thud on the table, then slowly stands up. his armor clinks as he moves, and his glowing eyes drill into the man's scared ones. still, the shorter male doesn't flinch, even if his eyes give away his emotions.

"when the white wolf comes, he can solve your fucking contract." the witcher doesn't need to raise his voice. the way he growls is enough to make a beast tuck its tail and lower its gaze. which is what the dwarf should be doing now. "as if you know what a true witcher is. stupid humans, hiding in your houses at every wolf howl and owl hoot, burning mages and sorceresses at stakes because they are different than you, casting elves out, calling us witchers mutants, yet crying for help and leaving pathetic notes and contracts on notice boards when you realise just how weak and mortal you are compared to all of us."

"young lasses 're getting killed left and right, and you only care about yer dick and where to get drunk."

"well, certainly not here anymore."

the taller man throws a few coins on the table, not bothering to pick up the ones that fell on the ground. he then takes his swords and puts them on his back, along with the crossbow. the medallion necklace rests in his pocket this time instead of around his neck.

as he makes his way outside, the music doesn't stop, nor do any of the guests or dancers turn to look. they are used to the moody witcher by now. yet the dwarf doesn't give up.

"ye know, i wish geralt were here. he has a daughter. he wouldn't think twice before accepting this contract. you? you are just a coward."

"hey, hey! seonghwa, endarn! you're upsetting my guests!"

"mind your business, jaskier. i am out of here anyway. doubt i'll come back any time soon. you and your cabaret." the dark haired witcher, seonghwa, spits on the ground.

the young bard rolls his eyes. if he didn't know geralt, he would have a very bad opinion about witchers. "passiflora is just a few blocks away. you know, a real brothel. also, not to be rude, but you were a few crowns short back there."

seonghwa grunts. he reaches into his pocket and finds a few more coins, then throws them behind his back and follows the trail to the famous brothel.

"are all witchers 'xcept geralt like that?" the dwarf asks, disappointed.

the bard takes the contract from his hand, looking at the messy hand-writing, then at the stumbling witcher. "no. just the cat school ones. or so i've heard."

meanwhile, seonghwa has found his way to the passiflora brothel. he isn't usually like this, really. but recently, people have been asking for witchers, and when he'd show up, they'd be disappointed it is not his friend and colleague geralt. witchers are not supposed to feel or show emotion. but seonghwa has had enough. just a week ago he had slayed a striga, and the only gratitude he got was a raw fish into his face and a few crowns. he wasn't sad. he was angry that these people had the audacity to plead for help and be picky about it.

he wasn't ploughing anyone. the brothels were the only place where he had peace. people too focused on lust and fun, it allowed seonghwa to sit in the corner and sip his favourite kaedwenian stout in peace. he'd sometimes take a girl upstairs, only to give her a pouch of coins so she can leave him to sleep in peace. some would be relieved, some offended. but seonghwa didn't care. all he wanted was rest.

tonight, however, he needed to switch locations. ever since jaskier met his soulmate, his brothel has transformed into a cabaret. yes, the bard wanted to do that before meeting her. but he delayed it. and seonghwa liked it. now? everyone was at his neck, especially since they discovered that jaskier knows not one, but two witchers. favor here, problem there, and seonghwa couldn't catch a break. this one has rats, this one has a ghoul in his basement, and this one wants to act tough and challenge him to a fist fight so he can win a girl over.

the dark haired man glances at the wooden sign that reads passiflora, before carefully entering. he is greeted with a rather sweet scent and sensual music. the people inside aren't half naked like they were back in rosemary and thyme. they were dressed in prettiest dresses, had their hair decorated with all sorts of pins, and were in elegant make-up. a true refreshment. the place didn't reek of sweat, and wasn't loud at all. no sights of shirtless men with their hairy belly out, no women with missing and unbrushed teeth, no stench of alcohol and bodily fluids. seonghwa was pleasantly surprised.

"ah, a witcher!"

and there it is.

"please, do come in. care for a drink? your first one is on the house."

odd. the middle aged woman didn't bombard him with a plea for help. nor did she look at him with judgement. "thank you...?"

"mathilda is enough." she smiles at him. seonghwa can't remember the last time someone smiled at him genuinely.

"thank you, mathilda."

mathilda turns out to be the owner of the brothel. she has black hair, with dozens of grey strands blending in it. her face has minimum makeup, or so seonghwa thinks. what does he know about makeup? her dress is modest, and he comes to a conclusion that she might be retired. she is also very pleasant to speak with. so pleasant that the witcher doesn't realise how fast the time is passing and how much more talkative he is getting.

"so, which one of the girls has caught your attention?" the woman turns away from the bar, and so does the witcher. he sips his third drink of the evening as the woman points at the girls in the room. "we've got a few new girls, eager to prove themselves. how do you like them?"

when seonghwa glances at the clock, he decides it might be time to go and rest. so he skims over the pretty girls that dance and speak to other customers. some of them are relaxed, as if this is their home, and some are stiff and nervous. his yellow eyes then pick up a figure in the corner, standing all by herself with her arms folded across her chest. her hair is decorated with gold hairpins, and head chain sits prettily on her forehead. it reminds seonghwa of an elven princess. her dress is a deep green, parting at her thighs and falling to the ground. it has a deep cut that goes to her stomach, and it seems that she is trying to hide her exposed skin.

"ah, y/n." mathilda notices his lingering gaze. "good luck with it. i gave her another week to relax, i won't push her yet. if she doesn't change within a week, i'll have to fire her. shame, really. she is gorgeous, and has brought me many new customers."

seonghwa hums. he then locks eyes with the beautiful figure's ones, and downs his beer. to both his and mathilda's surprise, the young woman makes her way towards the bar. for a moment, they think that she might pass by them and just order herself a drink. instead, she places her hand on the witcher's chest, feeling the cold silver armor under her palm.

"good evening, witcher." her voice is as sweet as honey in seonghwa's ears. he is mesmerized, and she has only spoken a few words to him. "come to release some stress?"

seonghwa watches as her glossy lips move while she speaks. subconsciously, his hand reaches for her cheek to cup it, thumb grazing over her bottom lip and eyes focused on the tongue that peeks out to lick the tip of his finger. he almost shudders at the action. the young woman is determined to prove herself, and goes a step further. she wraps her small hands around his big one, and guides his thumb between her lips, gently swirling her warm tongue around it and sending shivers down the witcher's spine. seonghwa feels his trousers tighten; something he hasn't felt in a while.

she releases his finger with a soft pop, but keeps his hand safe in hers near her chest. "i've always wanted to meet a witcher."

and how could seonghwa refuse her, when she looks at him with big pleading eyes, her chest heaving, and with her lip gloss smeared. the desire to smear it further awakens in him, and he wastes no time in paying for his drink and thanking mathilda. the young woman keeps the witcher's hand in hers, intertwining their fingers as she leads him upstairs and into one of the rooms.

usually, this is the part where seonghwa explains that he is not interested in any sexual interactions. but the way the green dress slides off her body, and the way the fireplace illuminates her skin makes his head spin. she turns around, body bare except for the cotton panties that sit on her hips. seonghwa, however, is still in his witcher gear. the feline armor is suddenly too heavy on him. she seems to hear his thoughts, because she is quick to approach him and press her warm bare chest against his clothed cold one. her delicate hands slip around his waist, and on his back, until they reach the belt that holds his weapons.

"may i?"

it only takes a nod from him to get rid of the entire armor and the clothes underneath. he is now also left in his underwear, and he can't wait to take them off too.

"can i give you a massage, witcher?"

seonghwa swears he hasn't heard a voice so seductive... ever. smooth, sweet, breathy. the way she sighs and breathes against his neck as her fingers work on the knots on his shoulder blades relaxes him. before he can fall asleep on the chair in front of the mirror, she wakes him up with a playful hair pull. he only scoffs with amusement. his eyes follow as her last piece of clothing slides down her smooth thighs and pools on the ground. then, she herself gets on the ground on all fours, and crawls over to the stunned witcher.

"what are you-"

"hush, pretty." if seonghwa had anything to add or even finish his sentence, a gasp stops him. he watches as the young woman catches the string of his underwear between his teeth, and pulls until they come loose and fall to the ground.

is she really new?

seonghwa does not complain. he does complain however when she stands up, taking his rough hand in her soft one and guiding him towards the bed. the sight of someone like that getting on her knees for him was a first, and he wanted to savor it just a tad bit longer.

"talk to me, witcher." she climbs on top of him, soft smooth skin caressing his scarred and rough as she lays on top of him. her breasts are squished against his hard chest, and his hands immediately reach for her waist to hold. "tell me what you want. i'll give you all of it."

seonghwa stops for a moment. he isn't sure what he wants. yes, he slept with women before. he slept with sorceresses too. all of them were the same; get it in and over with. seonghwa would simply lay there and let them chase their own pleasure. he would reach his own too, and he never thought further of it. they even complimented him, saying how no man has made them feel that good, that their partners would usually do it for themselves and leave them to finish on their own. now, however, seeing this beauty pressed against him and looking at him with pure desire, he might discover something new. he might put himself first. not that he didn't enjoy the previous encounters. he is just eager to see what she has to offer him. "i give you full freedom to do whatever you wish to me."

her lips stretch in an excited smile, and her eyes have a certain glint. if seonghwa wasn't so painfully needy right now, he would've questioned it. true witcher style.

"just... one thing."

"yes?"

seonghwa's hands reach for the green dress that was dropped on the floor. he hands it to her, and she looks at him with confusion. was he rejecting her?

"put it on."

"but- why?" her lips form a pout. "did i displease you somehow?"

the dark haired witcher smiles. he then simply sits up on the bed, hands still firmly planted on her waist as she fumbles with the green fabric. "no. you just look too stunning in it to leave it on the floor. no panties."

"oh." she exhales, relief washing over her body. "you do realize that you're the first man i've given myself to in this building and you're asking me to cover up?"

seonghwa doesn't respond, but instead watches her dress. her look is complete once again, except for the heeled boots that still lay on the floor. not a single sorceress he has met could compete with her. "so you were waiting for a witcher to be your first?"

"perhaps." her hands reach for the pins in her hair, but seonghwa stops her there too. she then scoffs in disbelief, but obeys anyway. "whatever i want, huh?"

"whatever you want." seonghwa sighs, body fully relaxing on the soft bed and eyes closed. his hands remain on her now clothed waist. he doesn't know what it is, but it gives him a sense of dominance, even if she is the one on top. her body feels small and fragile, and he has the urge to hold her, as if to protect her.

a sweet scent of berries envelops his senses, as well as his mind. her breath warms his neck, just a small warning before her lips attach to his skin. he can't help but flinch. she smiles against him, grazing his neck with her teeth. "found a sensitive spot it seems."

seonghwa only hums. his grip on her waist hardens as she kisses along his jawline, and her nails softly graze the path from his chest, down his stomach and to his defined v-line. finally, she attaches her lips to his. her other hand finds its way to his dark hair, softly massaging his scalp and lightly pulling the strands as he kisses her back. seonghwa feels as if this is his first proper kiss. nobody has ever kissed him before with such desire.

she grinds her hips against his, core lightly grazing his aching crotch, not yet giving him what he needs. as if he wasn't burning with need already, feeling her wet core slide against him only set him further on fire. he never said he was a patient man anyway.

he flips her on the bed with ease, now him being the one on top and in charge. his lips hungrily search for hers, tongue yearns for hers, and hands play with the sheer fabric of the dress. he doesn't care where he touches her. he just wants to feel her.

"thought i had full freedom?" she teases into the kiss.

he doesn't reply, instead biting her lower lip and sucking at it. she whines at the sweet pain, and if seonghwa didn't feel her body arch against his, he would've stopped. his lips chase hers, and no matter how many times his tongue rubs against hers, teeth clash against hers, and lips wipe the remaining lip gloss off hers, he can't get enough. "you taste so sweet."

even though he could spend the entire night just kissing her and feeling her body squirm under his, seonghwa proceeds to leave kisses down her neck, then the exposed skin between her breasts and all the way to her belly. the dress opening ends there, but it doesn't stop him. he disappears under the green ruffles, nose bumping against the soft folds and tongue searching for the source of heat. 

he never did it. he wasn't exactly sure how. all he knew is that he needed to taste her, all of her. with a single swipe up her folds, he has her squirming. he subconsciously grabs her thighs and pulls her closer to his face, holding her in place and burying himself into her core. she does taste as sweet, and smells as delightful. the noises that travel to seonghwa's ears are new to him. never did he hear a woman be so whiny and loud. moans? sure. but whines? that was new. and he wasn't sure if it is a good or a bad thing.

"please..." she finally mutters a word.

the witcher emerges from the green ruffles of her dress, sending her a questioning look. when he sees her flustered face and heaving chest, sleeves pushed down so that her breasts are exposed and her hands playing with the tense nipples, seonghwa realizes what he has been missing out on. there was more to it all than just an orgasm.

and he was going to savor all of it.

"please." she begs again. "i'll be good, just please..."

"please what?" the witcher questions.

"give me something. anything." she shudders when his finger grazes her tense clit. "please."

seonghwa doesn't wish this to end yet. he is loving the impact he has on someone. on her. he can't get over her beauty, or her taste. when he finishes taking in the sight of her half naked and flustered state, he attaches his lips to her clit once again, tongue swiping over the sensitive bud in circular motions and fingers searching for her leaking hole. her moans are more high pitched, and the grip on his hair stronger as he slowly inserts his finger inside. he wastes no time in adding another one, slowly pumping in and out and exploring which motions make her louder and her fingers pull at his hair harder. when he finds a certain spot on her upper wall, he abuses it, to the point where she shakes under his touch and moans turn to a blubbering mess.

"oh, witcher-" she gasps, body suddenly tensing and thighs squeezing around his head.

seonghwa doesn't have time to process what is happening, because he is greeted by clear fluid splashing his face. he doesn't stop yet, even though he wasn't exactly sure what happened. the young woman is a twitching mess under him, grinding her hips against his face and riding out her orgasm. when she starts pulling at his hair to pull him away from her, he takes it as a sign to stop.

"well," he flips the bottom of her dress over, exposing the abused core to the cool air that comes from the open balcony door. "i've never done that before."

"me neither." she admits, face red with embarrassment when she sees the witcher's soaked face. "i'm sorry."

"don't apologize. i am the one that should be apologizing."

"what for?"

instead of answering, he simply kisses her once again, savoring every caress of her tongue against his and every little noise she makes as his hands travel up her body and to her exposed breasts. the rough skin of his worn out fingers give her tense buds a gentle sensation. just enough to have her body arching against his and seek more of his warmth and touch. as she busies herself with playing with his hair and caressing the scars on his back, seonghwa slowly slides inside, letting out a low groan at the warm welcome.

he misses the way her eyes widen and her nails dig into his back. he is halfway in, struggling to go further. when her pretty face makes a painful grimace and a cry leaves her lips, seonghwa stops. "what's wrong?"

"nothing," she blinks her tears away.

"tell me." the witcher cups her face, thumbs caressing her cheeks and wiping the tears away.

"you're big."

his brows furrow. at first he isn't sure what she means, but when he feels her walls clench around him, he realizes. "oh."

"it's alright. keep going." her hands cup his face now, mimicking him. "just go slow."

but the witcher finds himself getting impatient once again. the way her warmth squeezes around him makes him see stars. and just like that, seonghwa finds himself snapping his hips into hers. a painful moan escapes her pretty lips once again, and seonghwa is quick to press his lips into hers to conceal it. she is mess, shamelessly moaning into his mouth whenever his hips collide with hers. tears roll down her cheeks once again, and this time, seonghwa doesn't stop. instead, he slows his pace, opting for sensual moves rather than rough ones.

"you're so big..." she sighs against his lips. "you're going to split me open."

if he could get any rock harder, he would. hell, he might even cum right there and then if it wasn't for the slow moves he was forced to do. "are you complaining?"

"not a bit."

tears of pain soon seem to transform into tears of pleasure, because when seonghwa starts snapping his hips against hers again, she only moans and groans. her walls tighten around him, announcing that she is close again. the witcher holds her waist in place, and his eyes can't get enough of her expressions, or the way her body responds to him and looks so fragile in his arms.

"cum in me, witcher." she begs. "fill me to the brim."

and seonghwa does just that. his moves become sloppy, and his concealed groans are now loud and clear as he pumps his seed into the beauty below him. he sees a slight bulge on her lower stomach when he goes to look where they are connected. fuck, he wants her again. and again and again. until the sun rises, just to watch the pure bliss on her face again.

"are you close?" he asks breathless. he is not yet overstimulated, he is just getting started.

"shut up." she chokes out, clearly focusing on reaching her peak and not wanting to be disturbed.

this time, instead of a moan of ecstasy, her mouth opens without any noise coming out. her eyes roll back, almost all the way, before her body starts twitching as waves of pleasure wash it over. her nails dig into his back, so deep that they pierce his skin and have him wincing in pain. then, her eyes roll back. and seonghwa stiffens.

dangerous red irises stare back at his yellow alert ones. the witcher instinctively reaches for the sword on his back, only to be met with emptiness. the figure below him gives him a wicked smile, with fangs on full display before latching herself onto his neck and piercing his skin once again.

fuck.

seonghwa didn't expect to be awoken in the bed he was in last night. truth be told, seonghwa didn't expect to be awake at all. however, when he tries to move and reach for his weapons that lay on the dresser next to the bed, strains prevent him. strains on both his wrists and ankles. the blinds are blocking the morning sun, keeping the woman who sat in front of the mirror safe. for now.

"why am i alive?"

she looks at him through the mirror, smile dancing on her lips. she runs a comb through her hair and removes the golden pins in the process. "good morning, little witcher."

"let me go."

"well, since you asked so nicely." she rolls her eyes, standing up from the chair and approaching the bed. the green dress is replaced by rags seonghwa usually saw in the war destroyed villages of velen. all of her jewelry sits on the dresser in front of the mirror, including the headpiece that drove seonghwa crazy last night. "come to think of it, i never got to return the favor. you were so eager to fuck me."

he doesn't have to question, because she gives him the answer by running her nails up his thigh and to his crotch. "stop that."

"your cock says otherwise, slayer." when seonghwa doesn't respond to her touch, she huffs. "boring. well, off i go. you better not go anywhere while i'm gone."

seonghwa had many questions on his mind. he didn't know which one to ask first. and he didn't know whether or not he will get a truthful answer. or an answer at all. after all, this was the higher vampire he had a contract on. how foolish of him to leave that medallion in his pocket instead of around his neck. it would've vibrated the moment she laid her hand on his armored chest, and she would've been dead by now.

"isn't mathilda going to question this... situation?" he looks at the ropes holding him to the bed.

"mathilda doesn't care what happens during the day. she only needs the rooms free at night. this room is mine, and i can use it however i please."

"why are you dressed like that?"

"as if you haven't stumbled upon false beggars by now. please, seonghwa." she straightens her rags, and glances at herself in the mirror once again. "you think of us monsters so lowly. like we are stupid. thing is, you're not that different. you're not a human. you're just a mutant."

seonghwa hums, unamused. "it's daylight. how will you go out?"

"there's shades in this city. plenty of them. now, be a good little witcher and stay here." she plants a kiss on his forehead, then turns to leave.

but the witcher is quicker, and grabs her by the rags and tosses on the bed. while he was questioning her, he managed to free one hand from the ropes with his teeth. her eyes turn red again, anger evident on her face.

"silly witcher." her teeth are quick to sink into his flesh again, causing seonghwa to growl with pain. she slurps on his hot blood, moaning in the process, the scent and taste of iron giving her bigger pleasure than anything else. when she pulls away, she has a look of victory and proud on her face. right until seonghwa smirks.

"true. i do think you are stupid." she steps away from him, suddenly feeling dizzy. while stepping back, her shoe kicks something on the floor, causing it to shatter. an empty potion bottle.

"what- what have you done?"

the witcher then frees his other hand, and reaches for his silver sword while the vampire tries to decipher just what he did to her. she gets her answer when she looks at herself in the mirror, veins prominent and pitch black. shaky hands hurriedly get rid of the rags and expose her body. he drank a potion to poison his blood because he knew she'd drink again. her eyes catch a glimpse of the shiny silver through the mirror, and she is quick to dodge it and jump on the bed.

the cut off and untied ropes hang uselessly from the bed frame. or maybe not completely useless. "how should i kill you?"

"no, please." the young woman sits against the bed frame, knees pulled to her chest and hands hugging them in defense. "please."

"i am doing you a favor by asking. silver..." he holds the shiny sword up, runestones making the marks green and match the dress on the floor. "or gold." he points to the balcony door with blinds. a ray of sun has managed to break through, lighting up the medallion that now rests on his chest, vibrating and alerting to danger.

"please." she begs. "i just want to live. we just want to live."

"so does the folk. and you don't let them."

her teary eyes don't work on seonghwa this time. they only make him angrier. she used him. and he fell for it. he was angrier with himself for allowing a woman's seducing to work on him like that. if she were a sorceress, he'd understand. he cannot escape the strong grip of magic. but a vampire? all these years of work and training seemed for nothing. he only hopes geralt doesn't find out about this.

"i don't kill. i just feed!"

"you feed on women and children."

"children are just weak. and those women weren't worth anything! their husbands would come and fuck me, and then offer their wives to me!" she then gets on her knees, hands in a pleading motion. "please, witcher. you kill to survive. so do i."

"no."

in a few seconds, the young woman is bound to the bed, hissing and growling at the witcher as he approaches the balcony door.

"i kill to save people. you kill to save yourself."

with that, he pulls the blinds, allowing the sun to enlighten the room and the nude figure on the bed.

"your kind will no longer torment people. i won't stop until i've killed the last one of you vampires, hags, wraiths and ghouls. i exist for the sole purpose of exterminating you. and that is what i'll do. even if it takes all my life."

the vampire is in no position to form any sentences, body seething and glowing under the morning yellow sun. the witcher is unfazed, already used to it. he calmly puts his armor back on, puts the weapons on his back, and gives the vampire a final glance before going downstairs to sign the contract and collect his reward.

[monstersholygrail]

LIGHT ARCANE SPOILERS FOR SEASON 2

okaaaay not sure if you watch Arcane on Netflix....but a new season came out

and I never played league of legends. the only LoL lore I know is literally from Arcane lol

Sooooooooo.....there's a beast thing.....called Warwick....and spoiler alert, he was a DILF.... so now there's this DILF beast that was forgetting his humanity...but when he was tender, I was like "oh fuck, I want him to mount me something fucking feral." and this guy is huge. Like absolutely GIANT.

Send help.

Boy, oh, boy, I sure do watch Arcane lmao. I’ve been deeply obsessed with it since Season 1. I’ve watched it over like 10 times and over half of those times were immediately after Season 1 came out. No joke Arcane has been my favorite animated show for years and Season 2 has only furthered the obsession

I tried playing LOL after S1 but its players were not joking when they said it sucks. I tried. I tried! But yeah it’s not that fun. I’ll probably try again at some point lol

And yesssss ofc I know Warwick/Vander!! I love them both just as they are. No matter what. DILF man is sexy as fuck. I’d jump his bones and his wirings in a heartbeat. But the way he acted when he was all calm (and maybe when he was all angry and scary too 👀) was honestly very attractive. His little growls and everything made brain go brrr

He’s seriously so huge it’s insane and definitely hot asf. I don’t blame you at all, I want him to mount me too. We can make him an even more legit DILF lmao

Brain just reminded me of how he acts when he smells blood and some very naughty and dirty thoughts filled my head. Thoughts surrounding fucking you so hard he makes you bleed and you briefly see his eyes flicker from blue/green to red as he tries to maintain control. But he can’t help as it slips a little which only has him getting rougher with you and making you feel even more good

[hauntsnhoes]

Things I still can’t believe about GOTG3

SPOILERS;

Rocket’s first word was ‘hurts’.

Literally the only reason why he didn’t die is because Lylla decided it wasn’t his time.

He fucking FINALLY realized he’s a raccoon even despite telling Lylla he wasn’t one before coming back to life. 

The camera following Rocket throughout the entire opening sequence.

Rockets kid and teenage voices.

High Evolutionary DARING to tell my beautiful baby Rocket how imperfect he is, when literally the entire civilization he created looks like that Netflix show ‘Sexy Beasts’. Seriously? Fuck that guy.

Nebula breaking down from relief when she hears Rocket is alive.

Quill telling Rocket that they brought him back to life cause they loved him and Rocket calling them idiots for it. 

GUN GROOT. Like father like son, baby.

[delta-pavonis]

something in the way you're looking through my eyes (Chapter 5)

Adrian Tepeş (Alucard)/Olrox || Netflix's Castlevania & Castlevania: Nocturne || Rated E || in progress

**NEW TAGS IN BOLD** Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, fanfic for a fanfic, fanfic for @ifishouldvanish, a lot of speculating on Olrox's backstory, the inherent eroticism of vampiric blood drinking, Trevor Belmont's sense of humor lives on in Adrian, sexy banter, talking of drinking animal blood, physical fighting as foreplay, vampire bites, rimming, anal sex, anal fingering, oral sex, face-fucking, multiple orgasms, cowgirl position, self-imposed painplay, licking, cum swallowing, overstimulation, laughter during sex, discussion of orgasm denial, discussion of light bondage, discussion of using a cock ring, discussion of edging, pet names, mild breathplay, painplay, kink discovery, possessive behavior, possessive sex, blood and gore, Adrian goes a little feral, as a treat, Olrox is rather happy with that all told, Adrian has some insecurities, confessions, fluff, bathing/washing, bath sex, discussion of cockwarming, mention of the Official Belmont Penis Spellbook™, no lube, blood as lube, sexual roleplay, consensual non-consent

When Adrian moves to stretch, some of their skin peels away from where it has stuck together through a combination of drying sweat and saliva and blood. They both look down at their bodies and while there are no open wounds, nor scars beyond that Adrian has carried for centuries, they look, quite frankly, like they have been recently mauled by a beast.  “That's… decidedly unpleasant.” Adrian keeps his tone light though, because what led to the issue was worth it, all told. “Perhaps a bath might be in order…” “As long as we don't have to venture too far,” Olrox looks to the door skeptically. “Because I refuse for there to be even a chance that the other denizens of this castle see us—I don’t think I could tolerate the questions without murdering someone.” He pouts and Adrian has to smother his smile. “And I have no desire to put on clothing.”

Read on AO3

[tinsnip]

What in the actual fuck

So this is amazing

[aprillikesthings]

OKAY time to do more She-Ra rewatch woooooo

I mean to get started on this hours ago pffft okay at least two episodes tonight and THEN an edible (if I watch it while high I'm not going to remember a damn thing, okay)

s1 ep5!

(At this rate I am never going to finish. On weeknights I have to watch anything in the living room, where other people are, but I can't find my wired headphones, and my laptop is an old macbook that hasn't been able to find anything on bluetooth in YEARS. I need to look harder for my damn wired headphones!!)

I keep thinking someone super-nerdy has to have made a proper map of Etheria

Oh, they did! Of course they did. There's multiple fan maps out there, actually. Nice.

[EDIT: also her dad's retired? Like, okay. I get that the reason they say it that way is literally "he's not DEAD but he's not important to the plot" but like, that implies that he also no longer gives a single fuck about his kingdom or the fate of his people. Or his own daughter. Also retired where. Is there a retirement home for former Princesses]

ALSO as I was digging through old posts of Nate's on twitter I found out that when people get his published autobio comic signed (I've read it, but on Kindle) they've often taped over or crossed out his old name on the cover, and he thought it was sweet--though it doesn't bother him to see his old name.

But Netflix should still fix it. 😤

Every time someone pointed out something they needed, the music stopped and then started over--that was a nice touch lol

I feel bad for skipping the intro every time but I have to admit I do not enjoy the song much. There's nothing *wrong* with it, it's just not my thing at ALL.

Blobby creature on the left looks like a Pokemon doing a sexy dance, help

UHHHHHHHH

like I know that thing is its ...nose? mouth? and it drinks from the bottle with it right after this shot but THAT LOOKS LIKE A DILDO OKAY, like one of those smallish smooth silicone ones for people new to pegging

Too hard to capture without video but Glimmer's POV literally pans up on someone with a sexy hourglass figure and she makes a little noise, ahaha

I struggle with Sea Hawk. As a character he's great. But from my POV as a viewer he is in fact kind of annoying sometimes

"Just because Sea is in your name doesn't tell us anything about your actual qualifications" this whole scene is just lampshading the dumb names She-Ra is saddled with because of the original series in the 1980's being made to sell toys.

"It's the ship that made the Kessel run in less than twelve parsecs!"

I know everyone knows that Bow and Glimmer are both bisexual but still

they're both such himbos sometimes lolol

"Last week, on She-Ra--"

I love the way they introduced Scorpia.

also how did she make it to Force Captain when she's so kind and goofy

(while going through my own old spop posts I kept mentioning that I knew Scorpia would eventually change sides, but it still took WAY longer than I would've expected given what she's like)

Catra's hatred of water (and the way she consistently reacts to Scorpia just picking her up for hugs) is great, I love it when they lean into Catra being a cat

"What are you some kinda furry" no I am a furry ally, there's a difference

...no comment

Also I get that there's all the jokes about shanties but his song actually sounds like an homage to Gaston's song in Beauty and the Beast

The way Catra's voice goes up in pitch here is hilarious.

I know this becomes a whole Thing that Adora can read it and almost nobody else can, but just noting that Mermista's palace's walls have First Ones writing all over them

So Mermista's dad was part of the Princess Alliance? I wonder if "Princess" is just the gender-neutral word on Etheria?

Voice-acting Mermista must've been so much fun. I feel like she was inspired by Daria.

This reference ages me, doesn't it lol

See, I keep forgetting stuff. But I did watch these episodes in like 2019.

If the characters were allowed to curse, Mermista would've said something like "what the fuck??"

I remember watching a thing where a few SU voice actors were talking about recording "efforts," which these little kinds of sounds for when the character is doing something physically difficult.

The problem of course, is that I'm rewatching this show so I can write a fic with explicit sex in it, and so my brain is like "heheheh are these also her sex noises"

(I'm going to headcanon that and you can't stop me)

do they ever address where he's from I forget

I...immortal? I mean obviously we know they *can* die because otherwise their world would be literally overrun by princesses (plus, y'know, the thing later) but wait how did I miss that

ALSO I can't get a good screenshot but Kyle is playing a ball-and-cup game in EVERY SCENE HE'S IN

eheheheheheheh

wait hold on

Here's a post of Daci and doing that two different times

Also it's not far off from the ASL for lesbian, which is part of why me and Daci did it

I am reminded of this post.

Like, is she insulting Adora or attempting to flirt?

(yes.)

A bunch of fics have mentioned all the scars Adora has from Catra fighting her, and this is the first time we see that during the show; but I can't help wondering if Adora didn't already have faint scars somewhere from when they played as kids? (I know she gets much worse ones later.) It's not like a childhood in the Horde is idyllic or gentle and I doubt they were discouraged from fighting/rough-housing, and I can easily imaging a child!Catra not being good at knowing how hard she was scratching someone.

EHEHEHEHEHEH

Okay, so Catra taunts her and literally injures her, and THEN Adora is able to fix the gate?

Is she motivated by spite or the adrenaline rush/complicated emotions around seeing (and being manhandled by) Catra?

(yes)

this shot is deeply hilarious

Also yayyy Mermista has joined the Alliance

Also also I had to edit this post bc it turns out you can only have thirty images per post, whoops!

One day it will take me less than two hours to make one of these posts >_<

Catra is still convinced (or pretending to be convinced) at this point that Adora's defection is temporary, huh.

[deadgodjess]

IDK if I'll watch Netflix ATLA, but I think the funniest criticism I've seen is that the child characters cast with nearly appropriately aged child actors look *too much* like children.

"Why do Azula & Zuko look so soft?" Do I need to explain to you that teenagers are children? Like I know we're used to seeing teens on TV portrayed by 30yos but I promise you that actual children do often look like children.

"They should have aged them up so they could look less babyish" IDK, I feel like making the children in the middle of fighting a war less children undermines thw point a bit but what do I know?

Like, were expecting sexy CW teens? I know they're drawn a certain way but I should point out that animation and live action are very different beasts.

[ladystrallan]

Once Upon a Time season 4A thoughts

I’m rewatching OUAT and I wanted to share some of my opinions on each season!

- Funny story about this season, back in the day when I was watching OUAT for the first time, me and my dad watched it on netflix, and when we finished season 3, season 4 wasn’t on netflix yet, so we bought a box set and then a week later (no joke) it was put on netflix lol

- It’s beck from You!

- That cgi ice…

- I mean marian is a little bit right (even though I don’t like her)

- I feel like Regina’s redemption was a bit fast, and her only motivation for being good is Henry (not her having actual remorse for her actions)

- Rumple visiting Neal’s grave :(

- The ogre wars are the funniest thing in this show

- How long did they last? How did they start?

- I guess we’ll never know

- Regina… girl… just turning evil at the smallest inconvenience

- RUMBELLE HONEYMOON

- They are so adorable omg

- Him trusting her with the dagger… awww

- Aaaaaaaa! The beauty and the beast dance

- This is too cute

- “Maybe we should have gone with baelfire” yeah if you want him to get bullied

- Sidney is so thirsty for Regina lol

- THE SORCERERS HAT

- I’m sorry but the enchanted forest also being called misthaven??? I kinda hate it

- “Anna, I will find you” would you say… you will always find her? Lol

- LONG HAIR DAVID

- Omg he looks like he should be riding a horse on the cover of a romance novel

- “They call her bo peep” aka the least menacing name ever

- What are your intentions with my daughter???

- I forgot they made bo peep a lowkey mafia boss

- Not David calling her a warlord lol

- “When I was six years old, one morning I woke up hearing my father and mother going at it” yikes

- Ohhhh they were fighting… I thought they were doing something else

- Nooooo he died from drunk driving

- Ok I think I’m a full on captainswan shipper now

- “I don’t like to say such a name out loud” he’s not voldemort

- I’d know that giggle anywhere…

- INGRID

- This is the frozen 2 we deserved

- Oooooooo she got the white streak

- Ponytail Regina looks kinda fruity ngl…

- That painting clashes so bad

- Marian looks like she ate a blue popsicle

- Why don’t they disguise Elsa? She’s not exactly looking inconspicuous like that

- WILL SCARLET (For some reason I called him will roland for the longest time)

- Wait but didn’t he literally switch it out with the real dagger though???

- The way he hooked her arm!!!

- It’s zoso

- Ooh has rumple not “succumbed to darkness in his heart”?

- Captainswan date!!!

- “I don’t pillage and plunder on the first date” lol

- Awwww that’s cute that he wants to hold her

- But the hook is kinda sexy

- “Captain hand” that’s so funny

- “Is there something wrong with your skin?” Please—

- Wait… granny’s ISN’T the only restaurant in town?

- His old self is coming back to haunt him…

- Those brooms in fantasia used to give me nightmares

- Placebo hand

- Should I watch OUAT in Wonderland?

- LILY

- Awwww they’re cute

- I like how she poofs away in a little blizzard

- Ooh this is like the broken glass curse

- The Neal picture…

- Omg plot twist (I actually remember this lol) Ingrid was Emma’s foster mom

- THAT OGRE IS SO SCARY

- Ogres killed my mom…

- OAKEN

- “I pray you never have to cross paths with that twisted man” she’s married to him lol

- Omg the duke’s moves lol

- Rumple is in every single story

- This man is everywhere

- Ew the duke of weselton is such a creep

- Oh no she froze her heart

- Yikes what happened to focus on your wife???

- Zelena actually could have been the sister Ingrid was look for

- She was born with magic and misunderstood

- Why does Robin dress like a lumberjack???

- I forgot about the whole rumple stealing Emma’s magic thing

- Why doesn’t Ingrid wear shoes?

- Why do they hate happy? What did he do?

- I really like the emma/elsa friendship

- Rumple stop being evil and just be married to belle!!!

- At least for a season

- My plan to resist the curse: wear goggles

- Noooooo the vows before they die

- That is so sad

- Honestly serves blue right

- Hey, at least the curse looks pretty

- Alternate plan: tear out everyone’s hearts (the curse didn’t work on hook because he didn’t have his heart)

- Everyone fighting each other is really funny

- Awwwww that’s actually so cute (Ingrid adopting Emma)

- Why does anyone bother running when they can just poof away

- Henry? More like Kevin McAllister

- And… she ruined it

- That’s sad :(

- Rip Ingrid

- Finally a villain that shows ACTUAL REMORSE for their actions

- “Don’t you sneeze on me, you son of a—“ lol

- Oh, rumple. When will you learn?

How I feel about the characters this season

Love: Belle, Emma, Anna, Hook

Like: Rumple, Elsa, Ingrid, Kristoff, David

Neutral: Regina, Snow, Henry

Dislike: Marian, Robin

Hate: Hans, the duke

Season rating: 7/10

I liked this season more than I remembered liking it! The beginning felt a little slow, but it got really good towards the end. I like Ingrid and I think she is the best ‘misunderstood’ villain in the whole show. Her sacrifice was so sad but such a payoff! I’m just not a fan of the Marian plot and Rumple being evil for the sake of it (he didn’t really have a strong motivation for his actions imo)

[nwemovie]

The Perfect Match Release date the premise, the cast host, trailer, and everything else we know about

Netflix has revealed a brand new reality series that is scheduled to roll to the screen in 2023 February and we're excited to reveal all the juicy information about the show! Below, you'll discover everything you need to learn concerning Perfect Match, like its release date, cast as well as a synopsis of the show. We witnessed the debut of a variety of charming romance shows that were on Netflix in 2022. Some of them include Two seasons of Love is Blind, The Ultimatum, Too Hot to handle season 4, Dated & Related and Single's Inferno season 2.

The Perfect Match Release date

Netflix's latest dating show has a premiere date set of Tuesday, February. 14th, 2023 beginning at 12 noon. a.m. (Pacific Time) or 3:00 a.m. ET. It's important to point out that only the initial four episodes will be released at this time. Other episodes can be split in two batches.

What exactly is Perfect Match about?

Netflix has gathered some of its most popular celebrities who are single to fight for love on Perfect Match with cast members from Love Is Blind, Too Hot To Handle and The Circle. The series will take them to a tropical destination in search of the love of their lives. They will take on various challenges that test their relationship. Couples who are most compatible will play matchmakers by dissolving couples and sending them out on dates with new couples.

Who is the star of Perfect Match?

The show's stars will include cast members from several of the top reality series. From the show Too Hot to handle, there's Francesca Farago, Chloe Veitch, Chase DeMoor, Georgia Hassarati along with Izzy Fairthorne. Calvin Crooks, Joey Sasso, Mitchell Eason, Nick Uhlenhuth, Savannah Palacio from The Circle will be all joining.

From Love Is Blind we'll see Bartise Bowden, Damian Powers, Diamond Jack, Lauren "LC" Chamblin and Shayne Jansen. The cast also includes Selling Tampa's Anne Sophie Petit-Frere as well as Colony Reeves, The Ultimatum's Zay Wilson, Twentysomethings' Abbey Humphreys The Mole's Dom Gabriel and Will Richardson Sexy Beast's Kariselle Snow, and the Circle France's Ines Tazi.

[vamptastic]

Also there's not enough weird sexual undertone to banal violence anymore. How did they make a road rage Netflix horror and not make the car sexy? How did they just make it about a sad angry guy, and not the car as beast? Movies nowadays. Whoever wrote this clearly is not from the South and clearly has never had to navigate an unwalkable city on foot. Probably hasn't even been victim to a road rage incident.

[leatherbookmark]

oh my god... oh no... you found the truth... yes... i'm a vampire... aren't you terrified? it would be entirely understandable if you were terrified and disgusted, after all, i'm a beast... a monster... i wouldn't hurt a fly of course (and your love will make me snap out of a murderous, bloodthirsty rage before i even lay a finger on you). hunt people? oh come on you read too much bad vampire novels (twilight? LAME ahhaha). there are clubs for people and vampires to meet and feed/be fed on (although people who get off to the idea of being our prey are so yucky, it's so dehumanizing 😥), or synthetic blood. i will feed on you if you want and i will be hungry for your sweet sexy blood of course but i definitely won't be a threat to you! god i'm not an animal. yes i'm hundreds of years old... my family? oh you mean my sire! yeah they're so annoying, they're like an overprotective mom haha omg you thought we were an item? nooooo ewwwww that's so gross!!! and i DON'T drink from my siblings (vampires created by the same sire) nooo that's so disgusting they're my siblings!! 🤮🤮🤮 puking emoji!!! what, you're surprised that i know emoji? who do you take me for, a boomer? LMFAO come over to our manor next week we can watch some netflix. omg coffins? poet shirts? goddd you need to stop watching shitty vampire movies! it's all just an aesthetic, i dress like a normal person lol. my eccentric brother, now that's a crazy guy, for some reason he insists on 60s fashion when he's 400 years old lollll huh, what? you want to be turned? no... i couldn't... i don't want to--this would be an irreversible change, you'd lose so much of your humanity, you have no idea what you're--omg but want to be with me forever? you're sure? ok 💗 yay 💗