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starlostseungmin · 2 months ago

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reblogging this feedback on my main because @starseungs lost her sanity and i’m happy for it 😔💔

to love and be loved — kim seungmin.

summary : a series of events. from the start to a new beginning. to be in love, to love and be loved—what is a relationship with seungmin look like?

✰ pairing : boyfriend!seungmin x fem!reader (she/her pronouns).

✰ genre : semi-college au, slice of life, established relationship, fluff, a bit of angst.

✰ warnings : use of profanity, mentions of alcohol consumerism and cheating, kissing, semi-proofread, lmk if i missed one.

✰ word count : 9.9k

disclaimer !!　after two months of this fic being on standby, it is finally here. this was also posted first based on what the poll results said. please do not forget to reblog and leave feedback! thank you so much. 𖹭 — special mention to chase atlantic’s song, paradise.

𖹭 ⁺ ONE.

To be loved by Seungmin is like a beautiful dream you didn’t want to wake up from. It also visualizes the satisfaction of how you finally completed a puzzle and he was the last missing piece or that sigh of success after finishing a 400-page novel in one sitting. You didn’t know how you ended up here. Maybe there were a few scenarios in which you were crazy enough to capture his heart as well. And for that matter, how did everything start?

A rainy day in the middle of spring had brought an unexpected turn of events. The to-do list was just as simple as counting from 1 to 10, but it became difficult, like a math problem, for someone who hates numerical methods. It all began with a bold confession you’ve seen in dramas based on the execution. Seungmin stood two meters away with his back turned against you while you were shedding tears, ready to be rejected. You didn’t want to repeat those words, and if you did, it would only make him go insane.

“Why don’t you buy me lunch after your thesis defense? ”He said, and that’s what happened. But instead of thanking him, stupid, you confessed your damn feelings while he was enjoying his food. He stopped moving his mouth and had his hand drop the fork on his plate, trying to process your sentence.

“I like you.” It’s just that simple, and he should understand what it means as someone who is always at the top of the class. But it seems hard to fathom, especially when those words come from you. “I like you, Seungmin.” He scoffed at it the second time he heard it, but you were taking all the risks.

Why?

You were supposed to be friends, but what he did throughout college made you think it was more than that when he was just being nice, or that’s what you thought.

He was the one who made sure you’d get home safely every night when your strict professor dismissed you late or you had to stay on campus until midnight. He knows your full schedule every semester, knows the exact components of your to-go drink, knows what you like or don’t like, knows your favorite band, and even bought you their albums as a gift for your birthday, he’d make sure no one would bother you if you fell asleep in the library, he helped you when you were struggling on your homework and stayed up all night with you, he was there when you needed a shoulder to cry on and said “Just tell me your worries,” or when Mr. Park almost flunked you in one of your majors or just let you cry whatever the reason behind those tears that he wanted to wipe away with his thumbs—Seungmin was that kind of friend.

And now, there you were. The sounds of the rain replaced the quiet and awkward atmosphere. He looked at you as if you were insane, and why did the need to mention it now after all the wasted time? Not in a public space, Y/N, not in private either! You were sweating in the cold like a convict who was lying about the crime they committed, and your hands were shaking so much that you couldn’t stab the food with your fork. Was confessing this hard? You were ready to be rejected either way because Seungmin silently judged you to the moon and back.

He took the last bite and drank his iced tea in one gulp before grabbing his coat as he exited the restaurant in the blink of an eye. You were left dejected, but you knew you couldn’t just let him go home without a full essay from your mouth about what just happened.

“Seungmin, wait! ”You called upon following him outside while letting the rain pour above your head. No umbrellas were brought. “Seungmin! ”

There was no response again as he continued walking. Seungmin was already a few meters away from the restaurant when you got out. Was he a fast walker? People started to stare at the both of you, but he didn’t even bother to take a glance at what was behind him. You didn’t want to do it, but you just wanted to end the day without saying your feelings—not on graduation day, not after, but now. And being shunned made you feel restless.

“Seungmin Sky Kim! ”Not the full name, but it made him stop by the sidewalk. Seungmin sighed heavily, his broad shoulders dropping and just letting the rain soak his black locks. You’re not expecting him to turn around and just go finish what you started while standing two meters away. With the rain adding to the dramatic effect, tears being covered by the raindrops, and people watchingーthose words finally came to life.

“It doesn’t matter whether you turn around, but please hear me out! ”You said, breathing heavily. “You told me to tell you my thoughts, feelings, worries, and whatever the hell I have here in my heart, but we’re out here in the rain with your back turned against me, avoiding me,” It was loud enough for everyone to hear, and it was bold of you to do it in public when he knew you were against yourself doing public speech, but here you are. “I like you, Seungmin! I like you so much that it bothers me because I might not be able to see you after graduation. I just don’t want to keep it anymore, and I want to tell you everything. I’m sorry if it’s making you feel uncomfortable or if I’m ruining our friendship because of what I am saying. I can handle it,” You added in between your sobs. “I tried so hard not to have any attachment aside from being friends, and I know you were just being nice, and you helped me a lot. I’m sorry if I loved you more than that when I’m supposed to be just appreciating and thanking you for always being with me. I loved you as a friend, and I love you as someone who sees more than what you think about yourself. Please don’t hate me. You can do whatever you want after this. Just don’t hate me.”

Seungmin didn’t say anything, as he was still standing there as if someone had told him to freeze on his spot when you just called out his full name. Everyone was waiting—not just you, but all the people watching as if you were shooting a scene for an upcoming melodrama type of movie.

“Are you not going to say anything? ” You asked, wiping your face along with tears that got mixed up with the rain. “Seungmin? ” You called once again.

Seungmin didn’t know how to react or what to say after that bold move. What was the purpose of being nice to you? At first, it was pure. It doesn’t usually happen, as he was picky in terms of having friends in college, and he was happy when you fully embraced him. You did things for him when he was the one in need, made sure he ate on time in between his busy schedules, let him sleep in your apartment since it’s just a block away from campus, brightened his day when it felt gloomy, the one who treats him like a literal puppy whenever you get cuteness aggression, the one who accompanied him into several road trips where you share gossips, the one he brought home to his parents during the holidays because you are always his first choiceーfuck the rest of his homies (lovingly), the one who made his heart melt every time he sees you happy… maybe he needed that bold confession of yours to realize something.

You were ready to leave after minutes of waiting and calling for his name, only for him to turn around and actually say something. Just one more minute. Another minute for nothing.

“You know what? It’s fine; you can go. Thank you for listening anyway. Have a nice life, Seungmin.” You smiled, although he couldn’t see. “Show’s over, everyone. Have a nice day,” you added while clapping your hands as the people around you started to whisper to each other.

“Poor girl,”

“Well, that’s how loving someone sometimes, you can’t guarantee they'll return it.”

“Damn, at least say something.”

It wasn’t the pressure from the crowd. There was no pressure at all. It was just him; he was confused and didn’t know what to do. But if you were this bold to tell the whole world that you love him, then it’s time to make a decision.

Everyone was still waiting, even if you had already dismissed them, and not expecting anything from him, but suddenly he turned around, dropped his coat on the wet, cold cement of that fucking sidewalk, and went straight in your direction at a fast pace. You waited for him, and so everyone finally got what they were waiting for him to do. His warm hands were placed on your cheeks as his lips collided with yours. There was a spark. It was so sweet and delicate that it made something melt inside of you. Both of your hearts are racing and your cheeks are burning due to the blood rush.

You get why everyone was loud around the streets of Seoul. Seungmin didn’t let go of you that easily as your bodies pressed together. His lips tasted like what he just consumed with a mixture of iced tea. They were warm and soft, and you could feel his breath as it tickled your nose. It was like a dream or something that only happens on television, or like how a prince kisses a princess for the first time. It is indeed the first time.

“It took you long enough to say it,” he said upon pulling away. You sniffed in response and looked down at your shoes, getting soaked.

“It took you long enough to turn around,” you said, wiping your nose as your eyes met the moment you looked at him. His hands were still warm on your cheeks as he painted a smile on those delicate lips of his that you finally had the opportunity to kiss.

“That was abrupt. I didn’t know what to do,” he chuckled. You didn’t need Seungmin to say the same words in return. That kiss was enough.

“I understand.” You smiled as he planted another kiss on your lips.

“May we go now? We’re going to get sick at this point,” he suggested, making you giggle in response.

“Of course.” Before you did, Seungmin kissed you on the forehead and picked up his coat. A little girl threw petals on your path as a sign of congratulations to you and the other citizens who witnessed such an event.

𖹭 ⁺ TWO.

You believed that you couldn’t find love; instead, love finds you at the perfect time. Seungmin came out of nowhere. It’s like how Isaac Newton discovered gravity after an apple fell above his head or that unexpected strike of lightning in the sky even if there was no hint of bad weather. But thoughts aside, how does it feel to love Seungmin?

It feels like heaven on the inside.

To expand its denotation, Seungmin is the angel that the heavens sent you when you needed someone, especially during those trying times during college, and his role in your life grew as the days, seasons, and years passed by.

It’s beautiful, like a lit candle on the windowsill that serves as your light when the electricity is off. It’s unexpected and accidental, like the spilled ink on an architecture student’s tracing paper that was supposedly a mistake, and yet it made a curious pattern instead. It’s exhilarating, like that portrait of you and him being hung on the wall at his parents’ house, which was taken on that one holiday when he brought you home with him and played video games together, sabotaging him, which made him say, “If I lose, it’s your fault! ”Then you would just laugh it off. It’s refreshing, like watching the ocean and other scenery as the train passes by through the city.

Your heart raced every time you couldn’t sleep until 1 a.m. and would say, “It’s probably because of the coffee.” which you had a few hours earlier, which is not. Blame them for whatever you want; Seungmin is the sole reason behind everything you feel. He’d kiss you in public like a gentleman but becomes dominant when it’s just the two of you; he doesn’t say empty words on those intimate nights and is truly a man of his word. He nags you because he cares; he protects you because he doesn’t want you to get hurt; he treasures you because you’re precious to him; and he needs you because he loves you.

Love is an understatement, and you could say that words defining what loving Kim Seungmin feels like are not enough for a writer to write them in books. The feelings are sincere. They never changed the moment you decided to love him. You admit there were ups and downs in this relationship. Those nonsense arguments in the middle of the night made one of you storm out of the room, yet he came back a few hours later to apologize, finding out his flaws. He’d insist that he’s not the most perfect boyfriend he could offer you, but even if you close your eyes, he still blooms beautifully like a flower after winter, indicating the start of spring. Seungmin is the definition of perfect; you couldn’t ask for anything else.

Kim Seungmin is the person who made you feel loved and adored.

Four years ago, you were just as good as friends—not until your confidence rose like you had consumed a ton of alcohol just to say you loved him. Which you didn't, and yet it was romantic. A confession and a kiss were shared under the rain. Seungmin was happy that you did; you just didn’t seem to understand why he didn’t tell you first when he felt the same and waited for you to make the first move.

“I was afraid you’d reject me,” he would argue. “You’re braver than me,” he defended.

“If I didn’t do it, then we’ll just grow apart after graduation, then? ” You asked, as it made him laugh in embarrassment.

“I was going to tell you after the graduation ceremony, in front of your parents and mine, but someone here got a little bit overwhelmed,” He smiled, ruffling your hair as you huffed in response. “I need to go now, love. I’m running late,” he added, planting a soft kiss on your lips before exiting your room. You hurriedly went out of bed to see him outside, although you had just woken up from a relaxing Sunday night.

“Will you come home early? ” You asked as he was tying his shoelaces by the entryway of your shared apartment.

“I’m not sure, but I’ll let you know when I can, alright? ” He answered. “I’ll see you tonight,” He added after he finished and placed one last kiss on your lips before waving goodbye as he vanished through the door.

A sigh escaped your lips as you locked the door and ate what Seungmin had cooked. He usually wakes up early and cooks for you during the weekdays; it happens every morning, duty calls early anyway, and sometimes he doesn’t spend the night here with you due to his busy schedule. You understand how hectic his job could get; that’s why you visit him if he doesn’t come home and fall asleep while he works. Seungmin doesn’t mind; he loves your presence near him, always.

In the past four years of this relationship, it has been amazing. At first, he was a cute, innocent puppy that thrived to survive from the very first day of being a freshman, the one whose only goal was to compete and win. Which he did, and that includes your heart. It was him from the start without realizing the fact that you were slowly cascading into something you didn’t sign up for. But that didn’t matter now that you were already spending days with him trying to survive life.

“What do you want for dinner? I’ll cook,” he said over the line as he walked toward his car. “I’ll buy ingredients before coming home. Are you almost done with work? ”

“Min, you cooked this morning. Let me do it tonight, I’ll meet you at the grocery,” You smiled at your phone, although he couldn’t see it.

“No, I’ll pick you up. Stay where I can see you immediately, alright? ” He answered while getting in, as a loud thud was heard when he shut the door. “Love you,”

“Okay, I love you too,” you replied. “Drive safely,”

“Yes, Ma’am,”

Seungmin kissed your cheek as you settled on the passenger’s seat, asking how your day went, and the same goes for you, who missed him every bit of the time he was away. It’s like having separation anxiety—you can’t stop thinking that you miss him. The sweet scent of his car, his gentle yet intoxicating perfume, the way he’d hold your hand while the other had its grip on the steering wheel as he kept switching glances from the road to you and vice versa.

Watching him drive with that straight face that sometimes turns bright as his lips form a smile when he giggles in response to what you said or the fact that he is soft-spoken when it comes to you can validate that you are fucking down bad. You can’t blame yourself for putting your guard down when you were the one who fell first, or so you thought.

Having to shop together as an act of sharing quality time is one of the biggest love languages Seungmin could ever offer. He doesn’t mind if you come home late; fuck the working hours the next day; he just wants to be with you.

“Do we have strawberries at home? ”He asked as you strolled over the fruit section. Do you know how much he loves strawberries and can finish a pack within a day? Yes.

“No, they’re all gone to your stomach,” you said, making him laugh, and you took a few packs. “If it’s not the strawberries, you’d be picking a pack of coffee pods. I swear, you’ll become either of those two in your next life.”

“What, a coffee bean or strawberry? ”He asked, confused.

“Yeah, there’s never a day you don’t drink caffeine and a single strawberry, as well as eggs,” you added, which made him do the most adorable thing ever that you couldn’t resist: the sad puppy eyes.

“Is that a bad thing? ”It made you clutch your chest in awe. How could such a grown-up man be this mature yet act like a small puppy?

“Yes, and no,” you huffed. “But please don’t do that; you always get it the way you want when you do that,” you added, which made him chuckle in return.

“Do what? ”He smirked, pushing the cart away.

“The puppy thing,” you argued, following him to the next food section.

“I am your puppy, aren’t I? ”

“Yes, you are.” You sighed while rolling your eyes playfully.

After that, Seungmin gave you a proud smile and went home with everything you bought. He doesn’t let you carry anything and just holds the door for him to place the groceries by the counter. It happens all the time. You have to put them in place and him preparing to cook after washing up—it’s like the bond of a married couple during the honeymoon phase.

Hugging him from behind after admiring his broad shoulders, kissing his cheek after smelling the food he’s cooking, a peck on the lips when he gets flustered, your arms around his waist tightened gently because you didn’t want to let go, he holds your hand while the other one was busy stirring the soup. It’s a form of expressing love without words. Actions with reassurance are better than being comforted with words unaccompanied by effort.

“I’m almost done, love,” he said, but it only made you hug him tighter, earning a heartfelt laugh from him. “You love me that much, don’t you? ”

“I always do,” you pouted as he pressed the off button of your electric stove.

“Come here,” he said, turning around and capturing you into his arms and kissing your lips over and over again, making you giggle in between.

Eating together while catching up on what happened at work, helping him wash the dishes afterward, and poking some soap bubbles on your nose to make you laugh at how childish it was is another form of bonding—a playful one.

“Go to sleep,” he said as you both got into each other’s arms, lying on your shared bed.

“No,” you’d say.

“Then no kisses for you tomorrow,” he answered, which made you frown at the thought.

“Fine,” you said as he kissed your lips softly. “Good night,” you added, looking at him with his cheek squished on the pillow.

“Good night, love,” he said, giving you another kiss on the forehead.

They say you'll fall asleep immediately when you’re sleeping with someone whom you feel safe around, and by that means, Seungmin is that someone. You get so dependent on him that your body gets used to him, and it releases dopamine and serotonin, which is proven to be true. With his arms around your back, his soft heartbeat on his chest, his gentle smell, soft breaths, and cuddly nature, you just wanted to stay there forever.

Living with him and having to spend each day like this is like a dream come true that you never want to end. It is endearing; it has a sense of comfort that you can’t find anywhere but here, with him. And it is something you can call home.

𖹭 ⁺ THREE.

You didn’t know what you did in your past life or why you deserved to be loved by Seungmin. To you, he is perfect. He’s the type of boyfriend that a lot of people want for themselves. It is also hard to understand why he chose you out of all those surrounding him. You were sure it wasn’t because of the non-existent pressure he felt when you confessed to him four years ago, and complaining would be the last thing you'd do in this relationship. So, how does Seungmin love?

He shows it from time to time. A love that you can’t find in somebody else. It existed at the very beginning, and it will last until the very end.

Seungmin couldn’t ask for anything. For him, it was like opening Pandora’s box, but it consisted of great and unexpected good things, like an acceptance letter from his dream university or a treasure chest that would make him automatically rich. And he is the most thankful to have you in his life—probably the most precious gift from the heavens. It’s like a puppy being adopted and falling in love at first sight when he knows who’s going to be his owner.

“I love loving you,” he said. It was sudden, as he was waiting for you to be done packing your things for the trip that you’d been planning for months. A smile was formed on your face, giggling at the fact that it made you caught off guard.

“Why?” You asked softly.

“Honestly, I don’t know,” He laughed making you frown in response. “Maybe because you take care of me so well even during those times when I couldn’t look out for myself, or maybe because you love me too much that I wouldn’t ask for anything more. I can’t answer the question ‘Why?’” He shrugged.

“Well.” You paused, smirking at the thought. “Your actions are speaking louder than words, Love.”

“Hmm, do I?” He asked, tilting his head to the side upon taking the bag off your hands.

“Yeah,” You smiled. “You don’t need words to tell you love someone,”

“Am I not good with words?” He asked, giving you those sad puppy eyes again.

“You are. But please don’t give me that look or I’m going to tackle you down.” You threatened making him laugh in return.

“You love my puppy eyes.” He teased as you rolled your eyes in response.

“Yes, you can show those puppy eyes later! And that should be all. Shall we go now?” You answered.

“Of course,” He said, placing a soft kiss on your lips before leaving your shared apartment. “Can’t wait to spend the long weekend with you!” He beamed excitedly.

He’s not the type to express his love through words. Apart from giving you quality time in this relationship, he also offers acts of service that may have knocked your heart out ever since your university days. He’s the type to do things for you instead of tiring yourself. Seungmin always has his way to your heart without you noticing at first. They can be silly at times, maybe serious, or just the little things; he doesn’t mind. Even for other people, it will just be the bare minimum for a man to serve you, but Seungmin is way bigger than that.

Seungmin loves you like Shakespeare loved his wife and dedicated his sonnets to her. It’s giddy like a teenage girl writing how much they adore her crush in a love letter. It could raise someone’s standards, like how a writer writes and portrays a protagonist who would do anything for their partner—a fictional character that became everyone’s ideal type. Sometimes it would feel like the ice blended well with the whiskey poured into the glass. It's like a florist making their favorite bouquet that consists of the prettiest flowers in the shop. Fun like kids playing on the playground. It's comfortable, like having a cup of hot chocolate as you sit together on a couch while watching the rain on the balcony. Lively and filled with excitement, like seeing your favorite band’s concert, reassuring, like a prayer that always works.

It feels nice.

“Seungmin! ”It would always make him feel nice when you’re around, especially when his name comes out of your mouth like a melody that captures his heart and mind in a split second.

“Baby? ”His heart would race as if it were the first time. A giddy smile would appear as he’d turn around to face you like a puppy getting excited, with a wagging tail, full of expectations, ready to cuddle and smother you with kisses. Hugs are not enough to show how affectionate he is.

“Yes?” Seungmin answered snapping himself back to reality.

“Shall we take a stroll? ”You asked as he watched you enjoy the sunset by the beach as the wind blew around your hair, and tucking it behind your ear made him fall in love with you even more. Beautiful is just a word of restraint from what he sees—a word mixed up with similar definitions. Heavenly.

“Okay,” He smiled.

The genuine smile you’re wearing, the way you laugh, and the way you talk a lot about the beautiful scenery could make him listen to you all day. He’d hold your hand while walking together barefoot on the sand, and the other hand would carry your shoes. You’d always hold him accountable for not looking at anyone but him. Why would you be surprised when he suddenly burst into your door with a full package of everything you wanted? And just like both of your monologues always say, you couldn’t and won’t ask for anything more. Enough is not the right word.

Loving you is one of the greatest decisions he ever made in his life, after thanking his parents for giving him life almost three decades ago. Living in the same lifetime as you, the same year, the same seasons and events, and being grateful are just some of the euphemisms in between sentences. I got love-struck to the brain and heart, then ended up as a lovesick puppy, like seeing stars despite the raindrops. Down bad as fuck.

As the door closed and knobs were locked, with the room installed with dim lights after clicking the second switch, you threw your arms around Seungmin’s neck as he sealed your lips with a kiss, his hands around your waist, pulling you closer to his body. Your fingers played with his new, trimmed black locks that you thought looked good on him. A new style that made your heart go crazy as it showed you another side of him.

He left out a soft sound against your lips, tasting the rosehip lip balm that coated its skin. His one hand found its way to caressing your neck as he deepened the kiss and later held your cheek to make it more passionate and impatient. You know this is not the first time he has ever held you like this as you make out, but it will always feel like the first time. He moved his mouth slowly and gently onto yours, biting and sucking the lower part of your lips, earning a soft groan from you. A smirk was painted on his lips when he knew you liked it. That’s one thing about him: he gets cocky when he knows he gets the upper hand and gets what he wants. But you don’t mind at all; everything from you is for him, and everything from him is for you.

“I love you so much,” he says as he pulls an inch away.

“And I love you more.” You smiled at him, planting a chaste kiss on his lips, and he returned it upon placing another kiss on your forehead.

Seungmin looked at you as you slept comfortably beside him that night. A gentle face with a calm expression as you fall deep into slumber because you know he’s there with you. His fingertips traced your cheeks down to your lips, slowly leaning forward to give you a soft and warm good-night kiss, which made you hum in response, scooting closer. A light giggle escaped his lips while wrapping his arms around your back and leaving another kiss on the crown of your head, feeling your warmth.

“I don’t know why you chose me, but I promise I will love you forever, and if this is a dream, I don’t want to wake up anymore. I love you, Y/N.”

You heard that. He never gets tired of saying he loves you, because why would he when his entire heart was solely captured by you? It doesn’t take a lot of time to fall for him even more. It only made you hug him tighter and drift into a dream.

Seungmin fell asleep immediately after that. He doesn’t know if it’s because of the trip if his hormones are releasing happiness, or if his brain is set so that he has you by his side; it doesn’t matter that much. A long weekend with you feels like a dream after days of working.

The morning came, and he woke up first, like usual. He got up and left the bed, trying not to make large movements to wake you up, and headed to the bathroom. You shifted your sleeping position like a starfish getting washed away from the shore. Seungmin tilted his head like a curious puppy, seeing you under that creased duvet when he came out. His footsteps dragged him to the huge windows from the ceiling to the floor, and he opened the curtains, welcoming the gentle morning sunshine and making you pull the cover above your head.

“Baby! ”He called. “Wake up! ”

“10 minutes.” You groaned when he decided to hover above you and put his weight on your body. “Min! ”You exclaimed, tossing the duvet off of your head and seeing him all smiley.

“Wake up, wake up, wake up! ”He beamed. The only ones missing are his puppy ears and a wagging tail.

“So much energy, Min huh?” You asked while caressing his hair. “What happened to Good Morning?”

“I ate it,” he said, which made you burst out laughing.

“You look happy, Min.” You answered as Seungmin moved away and helped you sit up.

“Why wouldn’t I when I’m with you? Besides, we have a lot to do today and so much to eat. I’m sure my heart will be delightful as much as my stomach,” he said. “I found a breakfast place yesterday when we were coming back to the hotel and thought maybe we could try their food. ”Then there go his puppy eyes again.

“Min, you know, giving me those puppy eyes or not, we’ll do whatever you want at this point. I can’t say no to you.” You huffed in response, making him smirk.

“You’re so down bad,” he answered while slipping into your flip-flops.

“Says the one who doesn’t want to wake up from this dream.” You smirked, making him freeze on his spot.

“You heard? ”He asked, shakingly.

“Every word, Min, every word,” you answered while making your way to the bathroom.

“You were awake?! ”He asked, flabbergasted, as you closed the door, leaving him blushing and painting a sly smile on your face.

Pulling a chair for you to sit on, setting the cutlery on the table properly, wiping the whipped cream excess on the corner of your lips after a bite of a pancake, it went as planned that you visited the breakfast place he mentioned a while ago. The sweet and sour taste of strawberries mixed with the maple syrup and whipped cream indeed, started a blissful morning. Your boyfriend enjoyed it with coffee too albeit the times he said that he’s going to cut off caffeine slowly but you’re sure he won’t be able to do that easily.

Holding hands while strolling around the neighborhood and shopping for cute things, food, maybe a couple of clothes, and other souvenirs, Seungmin was all up for them as you take a picture in front of a mirror every time you get a chance. You giggle at every picture when you swipe through your gallery. Seungmin never fails to make silly poses and act cute. It became a habit of his and on the other hand, he also does his boyfriend duties like taking candid pictures of you if you weren’t paying attention to him.

Seungmin’s love is fresh like spring, warm as summer, cool as autumn, and beautiful as winter. His feelings remained like the very first time you left a blush on his cheeks, your heart beating faster the way a doctor could hear it through their stethoscope, and a shot of espresso in the morning. You can’t blame him if he could still feel this way when the love you gave him from the start never changed. Four years is such a long time, yet it passes by like four days.

Your parents know as much as his. Both agreed and voted for love and devotion. Unbearable fights should be fixed before going to sleep and sealed with a kiss. His friends would tease him, yet they respect you by taming a menace that later became a lovesick, hopeless romantic, Kim Seungmin, who once didn’t believe in forever but wants to spend his eternity with you.

𖹭 ⁺ FOUR.

A back hug in the morning while brushing your teeth in the bathroom, having him pick your clothes for the day, and the same goes for him, asking to let him taste the flavor of your lip tint, but in reality, he just wanted a kiss, which sometimes leads to a make-out session where you have to redo your hair and makeup again, always unpredicted. He is just making you speechless all the time. Does having a relationship with Seungmin always feel like that?

Yes, but at the same time, no.

The spark in this relationship never dies as you two share the same affection for each other, though there are times that Seungmin is hard to love. But there are times when you and Seungmin have to go through tough times. It comes to its peak, especially when he is at his lowest and has unexpected tantrums, and the toxicity of this affair is on the surface. Seungmin is not the type to make himself vulnerable in front of you; instead, he goes far away and makes excuses for you not to bother him.

He gives you the silent treatment when he’s upset; he doesn’t want you to see him cry; he doesn’t want to talk about anything, and you hate it. You know he’s the person who would always initiate a conversation when there was something to be talked about and never let anyone sleep unless the problem had been settled. Yet, it’s unusual for you to scream and shout at each other in the middle of the night as one storm out of the room and the other is left with tears in their eyes, confused about what just happened and where it all went wrong.

Seungmin would always speak up for himself, as long as he was on the right side of the argument. You agree that he gets brutally honest when defending himself, saying that it would hurt you a lot. His words are sharp as knives that can stab you multiple times, and you are just afraid to admit that he always has a point. One thing about him is that he’s mature and mentally strong. He’s like a fire that is hard to wash out when mad (and literally hot). But, on the other hand, he’s careful. There was never a time in your life that he chose not to listen to your every worry, comfort you when you needed it, and reassure you that everything would be fine. He doesn’t invalidate you.

There was this one time when you had a huge fight about him being linked to a co-worker, and he brushed it off, knowing that nothing was going on between them. He reassured you that he was just being polite, not in a way that he’d tolerate the girl’s actions toward him, but jealousy had taken all over your system, and you closed your ears for every piece of explanation he had. Of course, he got mad as to why you didn’t believe him. The sickening sounds of arguments echoed across the room. Seungmin was hurt, and that was the first time he said something that crushed your soul.

“If you don’t trust me, then it was such a fucking waste spending four fucking years with you! ”

“You never admitted I was right, even if you’re wrong! I would always initiate everything first because of your fucking pride! ”

“Did you ever think that I would cheat on you just because of some stupid girl who can’t understand the words that I have a fucking girlfriend waiting for me at home? ”

“I fucking love you, Y/N, so if we’re going to stand on the ground like this, I think we should think about what’s going to happen in this relationship.”

“You disappoint me, Y/N.”

And that’s when he left. You went home to your parents the next day in the province and didn’t even bother to tell anyone, maybe, Seungmin does. The manager at your workplace thought you were just taking sick leave; even your work best friend, Felix, didn’t know what happened or where you were. Seungmin, on the other hand, stayed at his older sister’s apartment and distracted himself from what just happened. He thought about what he said, and it was harsh of him to shoo you away. He was also on leave to take care of himself and his nephew.

One thing about Seungmin is that he’s open-minded. He didn’t get mad when you introduced your male friends to him; instead, he became friends with them, especially Felix. If he gets jealous, then he knows something is wrong behind his back. Unlike you, who would jump to conclusions because you don’t know what’s going on inside their heads. It’s not like you don’t trust Seungmin at all, but you know how other people can be when no one is watching, and you admit you were so sick of thinking bad about your boyfriend.

To him, he can throw this relationship away anytime he gets tired, and you admit it was your fault for adding fuel to the fire. But now, you couldn’t face him. You were embarrassed, afraid of losing him, and anxious that he might fall for someone else, or maybe he could fall out of love. There are a lot of possibilities. And yet, Seungmin doesn’t think any of that. He was so upset about how you acted, and he was so damn tired that night, only to be welcomed by false accusations that led you both to cool off. But Seungmin knew that he couldn’t last a few days without your presence.

And if you’d be honest, you wouldn’t say Seungmin is that walking green flag who is so perfect in front of everyone, neither do you. No one is a green flag. People are just blinded by what they see on the outside and what others say about their partners. You may say that Seungmin is a definition of perfect but not the literal definition of perfect. It is another version of what you see is perfect, a compliment caused by love to remove the flaws from your sight like how your brain dumps unnecessary information to cater to the new ones. There is always that fucking toxicity that they are afraid to admit.

“Uncle! Uncle! ”Minsoo, his 5-year-old nephew, called.

“Yes, baby? ”Seungmin’s attention was caught.

“When is Aunt Y/N visiting? ”Minsoo asked again with those puppy eyes and pouty lips he probably got from his uncle.

“Yeah. I know you guys are not on good terms right now, but it has been days, bro.” His sister heard and added while slicing some fruits for her son. Minsoo took it immediately and pouted at him even more.

“Did you and Aunt Y/N fight? ”He asked and was about to cry. Seungmin was panicking inside that he had to lift the young fellow to sit on his lap and sighed heavily.

“We just had to cool off, okay Bub? When we say cool off, that means we take a break and be alone for some time so we can freshen up and talk later, okay? ”Seungmin was reassured, but Minsoo didn’t buy his statement at first; instead, he became sulky.

“Aunt Y/N loves you so much,” he murmured. “She said she wouldn’t hurt you. I don’t know what that means, but when you and Aunt Y/N were playing with me at the park because Mom was at work, I could see how happy she was while looking at you. You mean the whole world to her, and mine are Mom’s chicken nuggets and ice cream,” Minsoo frowned. Seungmin didn’t know if he was going to laugh or give a long sigh, but his sister at the kitchen counter giggled before making her way to both of them, placing the fruits on the coffee table.

“You remember that? ”Seungmin asked.

“You know Minsoo is quick-witted just like you.” His sister smiled at him. “And he probably loves Y/N more than you too! ”

“Yes,” Minsoo agreed, which made Seungmin laugh in return with made his sister show a bit of concern. Well, she is concerned.

“I don’t want to meddle with your business with her, Seungmin, but as someone who is in a longer relationship than you, it happens. I mean, I’m not going to take anyone’s side in this matter since you’re both in the wrong; her not giving full trust, and you snapped at her for it when there’s nothing to hide,” she said as she fed her son with a bite-sized strawberry. “I know my brother doesn’t tolerate such actions, and there’s nothing wrong with calling her out, but you’ve been staying here for days, not working, and crying at night because of whatever reason that you have. Don’t you think it’s time for you to find her? I’m sure she misses you like you do.”

“I’m always the first one who would initiate making up with her,” Seungmin sighs. “I just want her to realize that she can do it first, you know? Like come up or call me and apologize to me.”

“I know, but if you’re going to wait for her then it might take some time and you don’t like waiting, I know you.” His sister chuckled.

“You said you wouldn’t be biased but it feels like you’re siding with her,” Seungmin said looking at his sister, still feeding his nephew.

“I am not,” She shrugged as he rolled his eyes in return.

Seungmin did think it through the night after that. He couldn’t sleep and kept tossing and turning. It took him a few days before, finally made that engine roar and traveled to the province. His sister’s husband also talked him through when he got home and shared a few drinks. It may have caused a hangover but he got over it and drove out of the city on a sunny afternoon.

He rolled up his sleeves as his veiny hands tightened their grip on the steering wheel while trying to reach out for a signal to call you. A heavy sigh escaped his lips when you didn’t answer any of his damn calls. He called Felix instead, asking how you had been but the latter couldn’t answer for he doesn’t know too, even your whereabouts, and he is also worried.

“Just a sick leave, Lix. I’m not going anywhere but I think I’m going to take some time off from my phone and everything. Don’t worry, I’ll call you when I’m better.” That’s what you told him with that fake smile and red, puffy eyes from crying. Felix let it through and didn’t ask questions. He just went up and gave you the most comforting hug, telling you to be safe and healthy and that you’d call him immediately.

He rested his elbow by the window while his fingers played with his lips as he drove with one hand, drowning in deep thoughts. After days of no communication, he doesn’t know how to speak with you and makeup. It’s not like it’s his very first time initiating a conversation but this is the very first time that you had to not see each other for days. Mostly fights can be solved in one night but maybe Seungmin grew a bit tired that time. Now he’s nervous. He’s driving his way to your parents’s house and will apologize in front of them and to you. He was expecting a lot.

Seungmin was frustrated with that information and hissed after Felix dropped the call. He stepped on the gas as the car accelerated through the highway. It would take hours to get there, and he’s hoping he’d find you before the sun goes down.

He arrived at the hour he expected and parked the car outside of your parents’s house. Seungmin was welcomed by your dad who happened to be taking a stroll around the neighborhood. It was an unexpected visit and Seungmin didn’t give a heads up. He knows it was rude of him to show up unannounced but he didn’t think about it through when all he wanted was to see you.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Your father asked him the moment he stepped out of the car.

“I’m so sorry for coming here unannounced Sir, but I’m here to see Y/N,” Seungmin said with the most respectful bow he ever done.

“She doesn’t want to see you,” Your father scoffed, crossing his arms on his chest and that’s when your mother showed up after noticing the black car from the front porch.

“Seungmin? Is that you?” Your mother asked as he approached the men talking at a distance. Seungmin took a glance at her and bowed again.

“Ma’am.” He said. “I apologize for coming here without telling you in advance. I just thought about coming to see Y/N and apologizeー” But he was stopped when your mother went to hug him and he was caught off guard. He admits it was comforting and reassuring while your dad kept on giving him a death stare. Of course, he knew that he was just being protective of his daughter even though Seungmin is already a legal member of your family. Still.

“She’s in the field with the cows and horses,” She whispered and pulled away.

“Thank you, Ma’am,” Seungmin said and bowed multiple times before running to the open field.

𖹭 ⁺ FIVE.

You were sitting on a swing while looking at the fresh scenery with the air blowing your hair. It has been a while since the last time you were home and you missed life in the province. If it wasn’t for the fight you had with your boyfriend, you wouldn’t be here right now. But you admit you miss Seungmin so much that you think about him, always. And you’ve been thinking about your uncalled behavior that night.

The cold breeze had lessened the heavy weight that you carried on your shoulders as you thought of a solution on how to make up with him. You know told Felix that you’d take some time off from everything and come back when you’re better. The sick leave was abrupt and you couldn’t wait for your vacation to be approved. You don’t know if you still have a job when you come back but it’s just already been a few days to cool off. And as the cows moo and the horses neigh, you just sat there trying too hard to hold those tears knowing that you fucked this up. You miss Seungmin and not talking to him for the past few days has been hard. He didn’t even contact you after your do-not-disturb mode was off. No texts, no missed calls, no emails, nothing.

A heavy sigh escaped your lips as your head hung low, watching your feet sway back and forth as you swung. The crowd was quiet, too peaceful, and lonely. Just a bunch of cows and horses around, judging you. Your head was in your hands as you stopped with your elbows on your knees, trying to think of an excuse to text him. Another sigh of frustration was heard when you couldn’t think of anything. But all worries were washed down when you heard someone was approaching you.

And it was him, the one that you’ve been waiting for.

“Seungmin?” You called as you stood up from your seat.

He was catching his breath.

“What are you doing here?” You asked, approaching him as he stopped meters away.

“Let me breathe for a second,” He said, lifting his index finger in the air as his other hand clutched his chest.

“Did you run all the way fromー”

“From your house to here? Yes. Your mother said you’re here and I forgot about how far this is.” He said still catching his breath. “Look, Y/N, I know I fucked up and I shouldn’t have raised my voice at you when you were just worried but believe me, I would never ever cheat on you. And that’s a promise. There’s no one else in my life but you.” Tears started to form in your eyes as Seungmin held your hands and locked eyes with you. “And I’m sorry. I’m sorry I was so worked up that I yelled and said those words without holding myself up and not thinking that it would hurt you. And I’m sorry for not calling you these past few days because I was reflecting and I heard from Felix not to disturb you. I hope you forgive me.” He said, pulling you closer to his body and planting a soft kiss on our forehead before taking you all in his armsーhugging you tightly as if he never got to hold you in years.

“I’m sorry,” You said as you were sobbing on his chest. “I didn’t mean it to be like that I was just paranoid. I know you’re a bad guy, Seungmin. I’m sorry.”

“Shh, shh it’s okay. We’re both here now.” He said in the softest and sweetest voice he could ever do as he kept on kissing the crown of your head while caressing your hair. “I love you, okay? No one could replace you in my heart, ever.” It made you smile a bit, but you were still guilty about what happened that night. You accused him.

“Still, I was dumb…” You said. “How could I do that to you when all you did is to love me faithfully.” You added as you looked down on your feet again. Seungmin took a deep breath as a smile curved on his lips, taking his fingers on your chin as he lifted your head gently to look at him in the eyes again.

“You are not dumb. Don’t say that to yourself, okay? I know it’s hard to trust us men these days because of the cheating culture but don’t ever think of me that way, baby, okay? Like I said, no one could ever replace you in my heart even if you think otherwise. I’m true and I’m standing my ground. Even if your father wants to shoot me, I will take the bullet to prove how much I am true to you.” And it only made you cry more. How could someone be as comforting, endearing, and perfect as him? “And I don’t blame you for thinking so, but, I hope you wouldn’t think about me like that again. It hurts, you know?” You nodded in response.

“I’m sorry,” You said.

“We’re good now, love.” He smiled, giving you a quick kiss on your lips.

“I have something to say,” You said, looking at him.

“What is it?” He asked.

“The last few days, I’ve been thinking about you a lot.” You started while playing with your fingers. “I know I played a huge part of the problem and taking some time off made me realize how I was so fucked up that night. I swear, that wasn’t me who was talking but I was just afraid that maybe one day, you’d leave me because I was the one who called you in public to confess four years ago because I fucking love you so much that I would die if you’re not going to be mine.” Seungmin stood just there, amused and in awe of what you’ve said, and now you’re thinking that he might be thinking that you’re crazy but he’s yours now. No one could ever take Seungmin from you.

“I know, I’m crazy and there’s a lot of me that are yet to be relieved. I don’t know what caused that argument maybe that stupid bitch and I’m guilty, okay? I just wanted to let everything out of my chest before we proceeded to this relationship that I almost ruined. I overthink too much, I am selfish sometimes, and I hurt you a lot, I made you cry, I was the reason you snapped at me, I’ve got a lot of crazy things inside my head and it’s making me go insane…” The rest of the words became a blur to Seungmin. He doesn’t need to hear everything as he admired the way you vent out and you were so cute walking in circles just to explain yourself. That didn’t matter now. You are the most beautiful person in his world.

He pulled you towards him again as he crashed his lips against yours, kissing you passionately as his hand cupped your cheek and the other snaked around your waist. It was unexpected. You both stood on the wide green grass field with the cows and horses as the audience as you shared a kiss under an orange sky and a bright sunset.

The kiss deepened as your eyes closed, feeling the intimate and adrenaline kind of rush that Seungmin’s lips have brought. It was tentative, soft, and hot, both of your hearts were pounding with every bit of movement and rhythm. His thumb started caressing your cheekbones gently as he pulled you even closer to engage the feeling of longing to kiss your lips and the warmth you’d always give. You could feel his hot breath against your nose as your fingers entangled with his black locks, playing with them. Seungmin smiled in between your lips before leaving a soft peck on it and proceeded to kiss your forehead.

“If you’re that worried, marry me.” He said as you both pulled away.

“W-what?” You asked as you got caught off guard.

“I know you’d say something like that but again, if you’re worried that much then,” He paused as he took out a small box from his pocket and went down on one knee. “Marry me.” He added, opening the box to reveal a ring with an authentic sapphire on it. Your hands went to cover your mouth in shock as tears started to stream down to your cheeks. What the fuck, Kim Seungmin.

“You already know how much I love you and to make a seal of this relationship, this is a promise that we will love and trust each other no matter what happens. You don’t have to worry about it anymore, Y/N. Marry me so you’d be officially mine and I’ll be legally yours.” He said. “Will youー”

“Yes! Yes fuck yes!” You cried as you went down on your knees and hugged him tight. Seungmin giggled at the sight as he pulled out the ring from the box and gently placed it around your ring finger after you pulled away.

“I love you,” You told him, eyes filled with tears as he wiped them off with his thumbs.

“I love you too.” He said. “More than anything in this world,” He added as he hugged you again.

“I’ll forever cherish this moment, love.”

“Me too, baby…” He replied, hugging you tight. “And we should go now, your dad was glaring at me when I arrived.”

“You came all over from Seoul to here without saying anything, he was probably surprised.” You answered as you both went back on your feet with Seungmin grabbing the small box and giving it to you to place the second ring on his finger.

“I did it for you.” He said, stealing a kiss on your lips.

“Don’t make me say, I love you, twice.” You said as you gave him another kiss.

“You just did,” He smirked as you both giggled at the end and went back to your parents’ houseーhappy about what just happened.

Bonus: His sister sent you a video of him when he was so drunk, crying and wailing to his brother-in-law about how much he loves and misses you. He also bought the ring after the trip when he realized that he was ready to settle down. Seungmin was sure that you’re the one he’s going to marry anyway, no one else.

✰ taglist　───　 @notastraykid , @ameliesaysshoo , @l3visbby , @reignessance , @lix-ables , @skzfelixlove , @rachabreathing , @hyunverse , @minluvly , @sleepyleeji , @starseungs , @midsoulz , @oddracha , @armystay89 , @lashaemorow , @hanjsquokka , @suebin , @starlostastronaut , @stayconnecteed 　( open. )

©️ 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐋𝐎𝐒𝐓𝐒𝐄𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐌𝐈𝐍 , 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒.

#OK IDK WHERE TO START SINCE THIS IS ONE HELL OF A FEEDBACK #probably the longest since 2022 OML THANK YOU SO MUCH?? TWO MONTHS AGO I LET YOU READ A SNEAK PEEK AND NOW IT’S HERE!!#pls don’t turn into a werewolf i am not ready #i see this is how a relationship with seungmin is gonna work so you either accept being kisses in public or no 😉#AND YES THE DOMESTICITY OF THIS RELATIONSHIP IS MY DREAM BECAUSE I WANT IT TOO!!#and the references from my other seungmin fics 🤭 this is not yet the end !!#HSKSKSKSKSKS SEUNGMIN IS SO WHIPPED AND DOWN BAD YOU DON'T KNOW MAN 😭😭😭#“we fought you go home i will come over and beg in front of your parents but i will propose” YESSSS #I’M DYING READING THIS FEEDBACK THIS JUST MADE MY NIGHT #ILY CIELLE I AM SO HAPPY YOU LOVED IT 😭🩷#ーfeedback ☎️ !

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leebitkitty · 2 years ago

Text

oH MY GOD I ALS RNOR IMA NNOT OAKY IM PASDSED OUT RN... 🫠🫠🫠 GO READ RN

no nut november — i.n (loser #2)

pairing: yang jeongin x fem!reader

warnings: swearing, smut (18+), dry humping, messing around with clothes on

a/n: part of @gimmeurtmi and i's collab <3

word count: 2.9k

To say you were suspicious when Minho approached you at the surprise birthday party Jisung threw for him (over a week late) would be an understatement. He was one of the friends who would only come to you when he needed something, and you assumed this time was no different.

“Happy birthday?” you offer, wondering if that’s what he was expecting.

He’s unfazed by your greeting in the form of a question and just smiles, slipping his hands into the pockets of his jeans.

“Thanks.”

You stare at him for a moment, waiting for him to get to whatever it was he wanted from you but he stares right back with that stupid grin of his.

“So, um, were you surprised?”

“Not really. Hannie talks in his sleep and he crashed while we were watching a movie together the other night. But hey, anyway, you like Jeongin, right?”

You’d have whiplash by now if you weren’t so used to Minho’s abrupt subject changes. This one, however, did manage to catch you a bit off guard.

“Of course I do. He’s a good friend.”

“But you like him as more than a friend.” He wasn’t asking, he was stating.

You blink, stunned. “Wh- I don’t-”

“Come on, don’t play dumb. I can see the way you look at him when you think no one’s paying attention.”

Well fuck. If Minho of all people had noticed your crush on Jeongin, who else knew? Did Jeongin know? Did everybody know?

“Relax, I'm not going to tell him,” he continues when he sees the look on your face. That wasn’t necessarily what you were worried about but good to know nonetheless. He sneaks a look at the younger member from across the room as he talks. “I just thought that you should know that he likes you too.”

“What? How do you know that?”

“You know I’m like one of his best friends, right?

“I-I mean, yeah, but...”

“And we live together, he literally never shuts up about you,” Minho adds. He raises his eyebrows expectantly but you don’t say anything. You don’t know what to say. “You don’t believe me?”

“No, it’s not that I don’t believe you… it’s just, why are you telling me?”

Minho shrugs. “Think of it as a favor.”

“Since when have you done anyone a favor?”

“Ouch.”

“I’m serious,” you insist warily. “You’re acting weird. Why are you suddenly so invested in me and Jeongin? You have to have some kind of stake in this.”

Minho sighs and drops his head, which confirms your suspicions. “Okay, fine. Here’s the deal...”

Jeongin’s pleasantly surprised when you approach him at Minho’s birthday party. You’re one of his good friends but it’s rare that the two of you ever spend time alone together. It’s not that he doesn’t want to, he just gets so nervous around you. He can barely get a word out when you’re in the room, which is why when he sees you making your way across the room he prays for strength and holds his breath.

“Hey,” you say casually, sliding into the seat next to him, and Jeongin feels his heart rate pick up almost immediately. “Bored already?”

Jeongin chuckles. “What gave it away?”

“Well, you’re sitting over here all by yourself. It wasn’t very hard to guess.”

“Yeah, I guess I should mingle more,” he sighs and puts his hands on his knees to push himself up.

“Wait, but not now! I just got here.”

Jeongin’s half-relieved he doesn’t have to move from his spot, half-panicked because now he’s forced to have this one on one conversation with you. He started sweating the minute you walked in the door how the fuck was he supposed to get through this in one piece.

“Oh, right, sorry.”

“Did you get Minho a birthday present?” you ask, thankfully skirting right past Jeongin trying to ditch you.

He nods. “I did.”

“What’d you get him?”

“It’s a secret.”

“You didn’t get him anything, did you?”

“Would you believe me if I said it was in the mail?”

“No.”

“I forgot,” Jeongin admits sheepishly. “I always get the guys birthday gifts after the fact. I’m terrible at that stuff.”

“You can just add your name to mine, if you want,” you offer. “People group us together all the time anyway.”

“Wha- they do?”

“Yeah, you know like whenever I show up at the dorms the boys are always like ‘Jeongin’s in his room’, ‘Jeongin will be right out’. ‘Jeongin isn’t here right now, I thought he’d be with you’. Do they not say that stuff to you?”

“Uh, no. Not really.”

Probably because they all know about his giant fucking crush on you.

“Oh.”

You sound disappointed. Fuck. How does he always manage to put his foot in his mouth?

“I mean, because they just tease me right in front of you anyway.”

“They just like giving you a hard time,” you reason.

“So you’re on their side now?”

You crook an eyebrow. “I didn’t realize there were sides.”

“There are.”

“Then I’m on your side, obviously.”

“Really?”

“Of course. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Cause you’re friends with all of us, not just me.”

“Yeah, but you’re my favorite.”

Jeongin isn’t sure if he totally believes you but he’s elated regardless. He beams at you.

“You’re my favorite too.”

He doesn’t know why, but after Minho’s birthday party, things between him and you feel different. The next time he sees you is on that Saturday, the fifth. You come over for game night like you do every weekend, and you take your spot next to Jeongin as usual. Everything seems normal. But it isn’t. Jeongin can feel it in the stiffness of your posture, in the nervous tapping of your foot against the hardwood floor.

The night progresses as smoothly as any other game night, with Jeongin losing every single one, but he can’t shake the feeling that something’s off.

You’re not mad at him, he knows that. You still laugh at his dumb jokes, you still let him cheat off of you, both good signs.

When Felix calls for a break, Jeongin takes the opportunity to lean over and check in.

“Are you okay?” he asks.

You jump in your seat a little like you hadn’t been expecting him to address you, which was fair because he was usually too much of a coward to, and turn to face him. “Hm? Oh yeah, I’m fine.”

“Just fine?”

“Yup. Just fine.”

“Not good?”

“Neither good, nor bad,” you say with a shrug.

“Why? Is something wrong?”

You open your mouth to answer but Felix’s voice from the kitchen cuts you off as he calls out to suggest that the group of you watch a movie instead of finishing the game of Uno you were currently playing.

“You never want to watch movies,” Hyunjin says, scrunching his face in confusion.

“Yeah, you’re only suggesting that because you’re losing!” Seungmin adds.

Felix comes into the room, hands on his hips, and lips pursed. “Do you want to watch How to Train Your Dragon or not?”

Seven and a half minutes later, you’re all on the couch watching Hiccup struggle with his daddy issues. Jeongin didn’t have much say in the matter but you had seemed eager to watch the movie so obviously he was… also eager. To watch the movie.

A lot of the guys’ girlfriends were over so you asked Jeongin to share a blanket with you, seeing as there were only so many to go around.

He agrees, of course, even though he isn’t cold. If anything, he’s overly warm. He hopes you can’t feel the heat radiating from his body.

It’s hard to focus on the movie with you so close, not that he was really interested in it in the first place, but then you snuggle close to Jeongin and rest your head on his shoulder and his brain short circuits. You must feel his body tense because you sit back up immediately after, frowning.

“No, you can lay back down,” Jeongin insists, going as far as craning his neck in the opposite direction to give you more room.

“I wouldn’t want to make you uncomfortable,” you mumble.

“Why would I be uncomfortable?” he asks.

“Because you’re being all weird.”

“I’m not-”

“Hey, you two,” Jisung hisses from the other couch, “could you keep it down? Some of us are trying to watch the movie.”

Jeongin apologizes and you shift away from him, crossing your arms over your chest. He’s really done it now. He tries to remedy the situation by scooting closer but you don’t even look at him.

From across the room, Jeongin makes eye contact with Minho, who gives him a look as if to say what the fuck are you doing?

Minho’s been trying to get Jeongin to make a move on you for months now, claiming to be tired of listening to him pine over you from afar, but Jeongin knows his friend really just wants him to be happy, put himself out there and all that. Minho’s been especially insistent ever since the eight of them made that stupid bet. He’s somehow under the impression that if Jeongin tells you how he feels it’ll eliminate him as competition. But for that to happen, you would have to like him back.

He doubts he’ll win No Nut November anyway, girlfriend or not. Hell, half the reason he acts so strange around you is because he’s using up all of his energy trying not to get hard. All you have to do is smile at him and his dick will twitch in his pants. In fact, he knows tonight after you go home he’ll just lay in bed, hard and aching with thoughts of you as he wills his cock to soften on its own.

But at least he wouldn’t be the first loser. Jisung made sure of that by losing on the second day of the month. Everyone saw it coming.

Jeongin’s pulled from his thoughts by the sound of you yawning.

“Are you tired?” he asks softly, not wanting to get scolded by his members for talking again.

“A little.”

“Do you want to lay down in my room? You could stay the night if you want, I know it’s getting late.”

“That’d be great, Innie, thanks.” You smile sleepily at him and reach for his hand. “Will you come with me? I don’t want to go by myself, I’d feel weird.”

Jeongin nods, brain going on autopilot as he takes your hand and leads you to his bedroom. No one questions where the two of you are going, either too engrossed in the movie to notice, or too uninterested to care.

You flop down on his bed as soon as the door’s shut behind you. Jeongin chuckles.

“Make yourself comfortable.”

“I will,” you hum.

Despite the fact that the two of you don’t spend much time together, it isn’t uncommon for you to end up in Jeongin’s bed. He offers it to you whenever you decide to stay over because he doesn’t want you driving yourself home if you’re tired or if you’ve been drinking. He always takes the couch even though you’ve pointed out that his bed is big enough for the both of you. He doesn’t trust himself not to embarrass himself if he were to entertain the idea.

“I know you wore jeans tonight so you can borrow something of mine to sleep in if you want.”

“Oh, that’s okay. I can just sleep in my underwear,” you say as you start to unzip your pants. “Unless that bothers you?”

Jeongin’s eyes widen at the sight and he spins on his heel to face the wall and give you privacy.

“N-no, that’s fine,” he squeaks out.

“You don’t have to turn away, Jeongin. It’s not like I’m a stranger.”

He ignores you and only turns back around once he hears you slide underneath the covers, knowing that he’d instantly get hard if he did any sooner.

“I know, I just... uh, let me know if you need anything else,” he says and heads for the door.

“Wait,” you call after him. “Won’t you stay with me?”

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” he says slowly.

You huff in frustration and throw back the covers. “I-I don’t understand. I should have never listened to Minho-”

“Minho? What’s Minho got to do with this?”

You look guilty all of the sudden, and Jeongin’s drops as his brian conjures up every possible scenario that involves you and Minho talking about him. None of them are good.

“Y/n?” he prompts again.

“He told me that he knew I had feelings for you and that you had feelings for me too, and then he told me about that idiotic bet you all made and tried to get me in on it, I guess to seduce you or something? But obviously he doesn’t know what he’s talking about because you don’t even like me!”

It’s entirely too much information for Jeongin’s brain to process at once. All he can focus on is that you have feelings for him???

“You have feelings for me?” he asks, dumbfounded.

“Did you listen to anything else I just said?” you huff.

“Not really.”

“Yes, I’ve had a big fat crush on you for forever now, thanks for noticing.”

“Really?”

“Really. Are you going to make me say it again?”

“I kind of want to,” Jeongin admits, finally feeling brave enough to approach you on his bed.

“That’s mean.”

“Why? I have a crush on you too, silly.”

You blink in surprise. “What?”

“Minho wasn’t messing with you. He was right.”

“You like me?”

“How could I not?”

“You have a funny way of showing it,” you scoff.

Jeongin rolls his eyes at you and pouts. “You just make me nervous, okay? I can’t function around a pretty girl.”

“You think I’m pretty?”

He nods and takes your hand. “The prettiest.”

He’s not sure who makes the next move, probably you, but then you’re kissing. Your arms are wrapped around Jeongin’s neck, pulling him down close to you as he slips his tongue into your mouth. Clumsily, he climbs onto the bed with you and slots himself in between your legs, moaning into your mouth a little when his hand brushes against your bare thigh.

You already sound breathy and desperate for him and it spurs him on further, hips grinding into you instinctively. He’s practically fully hard in his sweats, there’s no way you can’t feel it, but you don’t seem to mind. If anything, it turns you on even more.

You’re the first to break away, though, pushing on Jeongin’s chest to put more distance between you. “Wait, wait, the bet! Don’t you want to win?”

He doesn’t even need to think about it. “Fuck the bet.”

Jeongin kisses you again, letting his hands travel beneath your shirt and up to your tits. He traces your curves, outlining each one, before moving down to your underwear. It seems that you have a similar train of thought because you reach for the waistband of his pants at the same time, but he stops you with a sheepish grin.

“This is really embarrassing, but I haven’t jerked off in like a week so I won’t last long.”

You smile against his lips. “It’s okay, Innie. We can just go again if you cum too fast. We have all the time in the world now.”

The assurance is all he needs to relax. You begin to palm him over his sweats and it becomes very apparent to Jeongin that he’s going to cum way faster than he wants to. He whines, actually whines, and bucks his hips into your hand.

“Shhh, the others are still outside,” you remind him.

“S-sorry.”

You giggle and pull him in for another kiss as he fumbles for the waistband of your panties, wanting to make you feel good too. He dips his thumb beneath the fabric, lower and lower until you’re moaning and arching your back off the bed.

“Fuck, yeah, just like that,” you whisper.

Jeongin keeps his thumb on your clit, rubbing slow circles, while he works the rest of his hand into your underwear. He figures that if he can’t make you cum on his cock, his fingers will have to do. He’s been told that he has nice hands on more than one occasion, and he’s gotten good reviews from partners in the past, so it’s kind of like a failsafe for him.

“Shit, you’re wet,” Jeongin breathes.

“Do you believe I like you now?”

For some reason, that’s what does it for him. He shudders and falls forward into you as he cums in his pants.

“Oh god, sorry, sorry,” he groans.

There’s so much of it too, it seeps through the material of his sweatpants and onto your hand and he’s mortified.

“Don’t be sorry, baby,” you soothe, rubbing his back as he comes down. “You told me it was going to happen, I expected it.”

“But still.”

“It really isn’t a big deal, Innie. If anything, I think it’s hot that I have that effect on you. And you can go again right?”

He nods eagerly. “Yes! Yeah, just give me like, ten minutes.”

You laugh and pet his hair. “Well in that case, I can think of a lot of things we can do in ten minutes, can’t you?”

nnn tags: @doesthismeannothingtoyou @yellowroses-world @allyoops @thelostverse @karlitaburrito @lydataylorsversion @septemberkisses @caticorn61 @multifandomtrash-dree @cixrosie @mchslut @cutiequokka

#THIS SISO DAMN GOOD #ILY I READ THIS LIKE 3 TIMES #recs #yang jeongin on top #yang jeongin smut #bang chan smut #lee minho smut #seo changbin smut #hwang hyunjin smut #han jisung smut #lee felix smut #kim seungmin smut #skz #stray kids #stray kids smut #skz smut

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