#seriously there's a super heavy steddie snz snippet i have written that i'd love to post but i'm worried it's waaaay too heavy | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

fuckin-sick-bih · 11 months ago

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i hate the days when i desperately want to write but nothing i like comes out of my attempts at writing :( (side note i do make the "just bex talkin" tag so you guys can block it and ignore my rambling in tags if you want my writing but not my bitching lmao)

#just bex talkin #part of the problem is i want to write EVERYTHING and nothing at the same time #like i wanna write that cute convenience store steddie idea + a million more steddie ideas #but i also wanna write hale and jessie #and i know people wanna read some fem snz but i'm really struggling with that #i don't even know how to describe the fears stopping me from writing fem snz atm #it's very social/gender related but it's also me probably making a problem where there isn't one? aka overthinking #would i love to write some fem snz or even introduce my lesbian characters? absolutely!#but i don't feel like it's my place? i don't want to anger/upset the lesbian community cuz what if my portrayal is inaccurate and terrible?#also how dare i (an AFAB very masc leaning individual) assume to know what it's like being a lesbian when i never identified as one?#roll the clip of someone yelling a slur at me when i was 14 just because he *thought* i was a lesbian #bottom line? i don't want to objectify an already very objectified community even tho the realistic chances of me doing so are pretty low #listen i just have a lot of anxiety and i don't wanna piss anyone off or upset anyone by accident #don't get me started on all the fears i have about my writing being TOO angsty when i'm really having fun with it either #seriously there's a super heavy steddie snz snippet i have written that i'd love to post but i'm worried it's waaaay too heavy #especially for tumblr #but that's also just because i'm not good at feeling out where the boundaries are for this kind of thing? idk... IDK!#like am i allowed to write angsty feels + snz? of course i am! but am i allowed to *post* it??? no fuckin idea #like even Golden Blessing has some good angst to it in the beginning (which i did get to writing a bit more of that)#there's some impostor syndrome going on feeling like nothing i'm writing is actually making sense or engaging in any way rn #should i take small prompts and just do tiny little scenes of snz?#i want to WRITE but... most of me trying to write rn is me starting an idea and feeling like none of what im writing makes sense #so i immediately abandon it #and i do not know how to break that feeling/sensation of whatever i'm writing is not *flowing* ergo its shit #maybe i'll just quietly post the angsty steddie to my ao3 and just... leave it to the wolves

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