#seriously there is actually a legit quote of porco being like 'why doesnt my damn son just kiss that shopkeeper boy already geez'

[tumblunni]

expectation: man i can’t wait to romance a bunch of cute batchelors reality: MOVE OVER I NEED TO ESTABLISH MEANINGFUL RELATIONSHIPS WITH MY NEW FATHER-IN-LAW

seriously i fuckin.. made my final decision on who to marry just because Porcoline i narrowed it down to leon, dylas or arthur but really leon didn’t stand a chance when he doesnt have a Sweet Hilarious Dad Figure In He Life ‘fuck yes accept me into the restaurant fam’ i love porcoline SO MUCH and I am so glad that they actually did give him a lot of scenes and significant character development, even if it was all optional random events. i was just so damn relieved that i wasnt just making up some stupid headcanon, this comic relief man IS INDEED more complex than he seems and CANONICALLY CONSIDERS THESE PEOPLE LIKE HIS VALUED CHILDREN WHO GIVE HIM A REASON TO LIVE and I dunno if you get a similar scene with the other two restaurant employees but when i married dylas he ADMITTED HE SEES PORCO AS THE DAD HE ALWAYS WANTED, AND GIVES HIM DAD ROLE IN THE WEDDING AND JUST *just* *just fuckin lays on the floor and dies from how satisfying this whole plotline is*

not that i didn’t love all the romance plots too but i just felt like this quality friendship with a comedy dad was the best fuckin bit and it enhanced those romances so much damn more like i like dolce the best of the female options cos i love her family scenes with the doctor couple too the ones who have the best fleshed out family relationships just make the wedding so much more CRYING FOREVER but i mean porco is still unique in being my favourite even above the damn guy i married lol fuckin PORCO IN MY PARTY ERRYDAY i will appreciate this sweet lonely dad and his immense comedic power he could have been a character entirely on his own and i would still want to hug him and maybe even get MORE FEELS because like OH NO HE IS NOT FULLFILLING HIS DESTINED ROLE AS THE PERFECT DAD SO CAN HE BE MY DAD INSTEAD THEN screw marriage routes i want adopt-a-parental-figure routes show up amnesiac in a town full of various adorable middle aged men and go on Epic Quests to win their fatherhood for your own

also seriously i fuckin love that he’s like The One And Only “Funny Pervert” Character I Have Ever Not Hated cos like he hits on you but its clearly a playful joke he’s never malicious or creepy with it, its always just super exaggerated parody of the trope, and he’s very well established as a genuinely good guy who would never actually do anything horrible. its not the super common trope of the “funny pervert” being a guy who LEGITIMATELY SEXUALLY HARASSES PEOPLE AND GETS FORGIVEN FOR IT and there’s like SO MANY scenes of him backing off immediately and respecting your boundaries when you say no?? like you get to decide between several punchlines to his comedic antics sometimes, and quite often one of them is “you say yes, he gets super flustered and takes it back” and then like his character development is going from flirting with you to like being a mentor mayor type and also hey lets learn about how his personality is really more defined by his platonic love for all these son and daughter figures, and WHOOPS he ends up seeing you the same way in the end and the flirting becomes literally just a joke now. poor guy seriously, he has that backstory of his one and only love dying a long time ago and he adopted her kid that was left behind, and now no matter how much he searches for a new love in his life he just ends up stumbling onto more children and also a large and complex web of platonic friendships with everyone else in town who deeply respects and cares for him. seriously its so sweet that he’s like.. found a new reason to live?? found a happy ending even if he never found love again?? found that he doesnt necessarily need to remarry to get that happy ending. found that he has a secret talent of being Everybody’s Perfect Dad and they all just CARE ABOUT HIM SO MUCH AAA (even if i wish that aaa all his backstory tidbits werent so hidden in forty different random events..)

and also its like.. more endearing because he’s like the only canonically bisexual character in the game that is actually allowed to outright say it and not be just all ‘wink wink nudge nudge but im really straight really’. I feel like i actually lost a LOT from the game by playing as the female character on my first playthrough, i had NO CLUE that he still does the jokey flirting even if you pick a dude! it adds a lot to his character to imagine him as not just The Everybody Dad but also like.. Supportive LGBTQ Dad In A Town Of ‘Oh We Can’t Outright Say Anyone Is Not Straight’. Seriously he even actually has scenes of being like shipper support for his kids’s annoyingly-vague hints of being bisexual that can never actually be an option cos the game is cruel. Porco: yo literally it is blatantly obvious that dylas has a crush on doug why is there no actual option for them to get married Me: I KNOW RITE?? porco is my fuckin relateable friend, yo im still salty that apparantly they were allowed to get away with having an outwardly bisexual character as long as it was a “comedy thing” and then they were allowed to just friggin hint that other characters were bi but NOOO you still cant marry them as the other gender and you cant see them hook up with their Heavily Hinted Crush if you don’t marry them. I felt so guilty marrying Dylas or Doug or Meg or Forte... and Dolce is double weird cos the game keeps being all ‘hey Pico is totally her adopted sister but also has CLEARLY A MASSIVE GAY CRUSH ON HER’ like hey i love both characters but seriously can we not have this creepy unfortunate implications of the censorship vagueness failing to remove the gay and instead just making her look incestuous... anyway porco u are the LGBT icon this game needs, can you be the head of the writing staff for rf5 lol

sorry just Miscellaneous Directionless Rambling About That One Npc I Liked

also like seriously if the rune factory series ever comes back i would love u forever if you add some canonical gay options like in a way its even more torturous to have the game discussing the possibility and dropping hints for you to headcanon it and stuff but then you know it’ll never be canon... *sigh*