#seriously he's so fun like you go girl ignore that pallet and kill that other one for no reason

[pineappleenthusuast]

I love this little murderous robot manipulated into having free will by the voices in its head

Also

My man

[canon-vi]

Eira's attitude towards the others:

Reaper:

Mom didn't say much about Grandpa, except that he worked hard, but Dad speaks very highly of him.

Geno:

Grandma is very beautiful! I love looking at her in mom’s photos!

Hope:

I am amazed at her long braid, did she braid it every day? I am amazed by this woman!

Dream:

Dad speaks badly about grandpa... Well, I’d better ask mom later, I can’t even pull anything out of dad with claws

Ink:

Well, mom and dad spoke badly about her somehow... I don’t know... I’ll refrain

Nightmare:

Um... I don't remember...

Cross:

Oh, that baker, dad doesn’t really like him, like, I don’t know, I like his baked goods, did he have bad ones before or something?

Merciless:

I feel sorry for him, Aunt Drop is really crazy, and dad isn’t even going to do anything about it...

Lux:

Dad hates her... We'll have to find out why! Detective Eira will take care of it!

Pallete:

Even though dad doesn't do anything with Aunt Drop, I still love him, he works so hard

Goth:

Mom is very beautiful! I want to be like her, but I don’t really want to lose my hair yet, haha—

Drop:

Aunt... Strange... The way she treats Mr. Merciless and baby Daff...

Elva:

This little thing is always pretending to be me in front of my friends and trying to kill someone! ... Why doesn't she understand that murder doesn't require witnesses?

Daffodil:

Poor baby... I don't understand why dad doesn't do anything about all this?

Bonus:

Callisto:

Dad says he's bad, mom says he's good... I don't know

Taisiya:

Dad didn't talk much about her, I didn't even know that dad had another sister

Artemis:

Queen Artemis? She always looks so sad, is it because dad chose mom over her? I would be sad too, but I think that guy wouldn’t have lived long because of Eli

Sunshine:

Crazy beauty! She's a lot of fun! Also, if I don't want to listen to Eli's ravings about mushrooms, then I can send her to her

Vivi:

I saw her on the street several times, but she always pretended that we didn't know each other, I hope Daffodil is okay with Aunt Vi

Shelki:

I often help her dress fashionably when she can't! Aunt Shel is very kind!!

Tace:

... Is she really older than me? She looks 10... But she likes my and Eli's wings! She's also very cute

--------------------------🦊----------------------------

Elva's attitude towards others:

Reaper:

Looking at grandfather’s work, their family life looked as if grandfather went out to buy bread and returned with milk all the time

Geno:

I like to listen to my grandmother’s stories about how she ignored my grandfather, now I know how I will torture my future boyfriend!

Hope:

Hope is so old... And why did she love someone like Grandpa Dream? I thought with age comes wisdom... He doesn't deserve you, Grandma Hope!

Dream:

I don’t know, I don’t give a fuck, I didn’t even see him

Ink:

She cheated on my grandfather, how else can I feel about her? The Drop is probably all in her, crazy

Nightmare:

Some kind of evil guy... I don't know

Cross:

A? Who? Baker? Do you think I remember every baker I see? Am I crazy according to you?

Merciless:

He’s seriously like Drop’s hostage, what kind of eternal BDSM games do they have there? Does Merciless know a safe word?

Lux:

I only saw her in photographs, and then in Miss Hope’s photo album, dad cut out all the photos with her from his photo album

Pallete:

Dad is creepy, I love mom more, otherwise he sees what that crazy woman is doing with Mr. Merciless and Daff, and doesn’t do anything!

Goth:

I love my mother, I also want to become Death in the future and then all the offenders of Eri will go to the bottom in the lava lake of hell!

Drop:

She's crazy, what else can I say?

Eira:

My bitch, I like the way she braids my hair, it’s beautiful and comfortable! How the hell does she do that?

Daffodil:

No matter how sadistic I am, even I feel sorry for this little girl, her parents are fucked up, both of them

Bonus:

Callisto:

Until you decide who to believe, mom or dad, you can go crazy, so I don’t know

Taisiya:

If it weren’t for my mother, Eri and I probably wouldn’t have known about her, well, we’ve never seen her and don’t even know where she lives

Artemis:

Queen Artemis, I heard that she was dad's beloved, but for some reason he decided to stay with mom... Why?

Sunshine:

She's crazy... She's fun to be around! I wonder if she can dye my hair too?

Vivi:

Uhh, I only remember how she argued very strongly with Drop and took away Daffodil, then it was very loud, she was screaming so much... I understand her, Drop is a crazy bitch

Shelki:

Aunt Shel is very funny! I love looking at her schyte collection!

Tace:

She's creepy... This is cool! I like her!

--------------------------🦊----------------------------

E. L. A. by @anotherrosesthatfell

E. L. A. Queen by @itzcherrybonbon / @abloomingsunflower

E. L. A. Sunshine by @il1ketulipz

[willow-salix]

Isolation update.

Day 71 of Isolation on Tracy Island.

“Hey, Grandma, you OK?” I asked as I walked into the kitchen, finding her slumped at the table, her chin propped up on her hand, miserably swiping through pages on her tablet.

“Yes,” she sighed.

“That didn’t sound convincing,” I said gently, sitting down opposite her. “What’s wrong?”

“Oh, it’s nothing, not really. I’m just getting a little tired of all of this lockdown business.”

“I think we all are,” I sighed in agreement.

“I know I should be grateful that we have such a nice place to spend it, but I just want a chance to see more than these four walls, to go out somewhere with the family, maybe for dinner, you know? Somewhere nice where I don’t have to cook and can relax a bit.”

I didn't mention that it would be nice for all of us if she didn't feel the need to cook.

“I know, I just need to stop complaining and get on with it,” she huffed, clearly annoyed with herself as she got up to fetch another cup of coffee.

"Don't be silly, you're allowed to have a little moan now and then, it makes you human. The boys have been complaining non stop since this started. We're all restless and moody."

"There are people a lot worse off than us," she sniffed. "We aren't struggling, we live on a paradise island that many would kill to even spend a day on. We should count our blessings."

"Yeah, we should," I agreed softly, but my mind was whirling. There had to be something we could do to make her feel better, she did so much for us all and I didnt like to see her this way. It wasn't like I could conjure up a restaurant right here… or could I? Not a full restaurant, but maybe a nice meal for her, a chance to dress up and have a good night? That I could do. I pulled out my phone and sent a group text to everyone but Grandma, invoking the summoning that no one was allowed to ignore. “Council of war!”

***

We all assembled in the lounge, leaving Grandma to bang around in the kitchen in a foul mood.

“Guys, I have a plan,” I announced.

They all groaned.

“No! Be nice! Seriously, this is a good plan, it’s important. Grandma is having a bad day, she’s feeling a bit restless and down right now. She said that what she really wants is to be able to go out somewhere for a nice family meal.”

“She’s always loved going to nice places,” Jeff agreed.

“That’ll be a little hard right now unless she wants to sit in a street somewhere with a burger,” Scott said, scratching his chin vigorously. Yes, the beard beginnings were still there and apparently still annoying them.

“ I don’t think that's quite what she had in mind,” Virgil laughed.

“So, here’s my plan," I continued before they could go off on one of their tangents. "I think we should make her favourite dishes and then all dress up nicely, I’m talking suited and booted, eat in the dining room and be all fancy. But keep it a secret for her.”

They didn't look too convinced at first, but slowly they saw the merit of my brilliant idea.

“If we handle the cooking and the table, can you and Kayo distract Grandma for the afternoon?” Virgil asked.

“Sure, I’m sure we can think of something, but are you sure we can trust you all to cook?”

John rolled his eyes. “We are perfectly capable of cooking for ourselves, you know, we are grown men.”

Now it was my turn to not believe what I was hearing.

“Seriously, you can trust us,” Alan promised me.

“Really? Usually you all need wrangling just to get through the day. You honestly think you can do this without arguing?”

“It’s for Grandma,” Gordon shrugged. “We’ll do it for her.”

That was a statement I couldn't argue, they would do anything for her.

“OK. Kay, this is going to be tough on both of us, but we’re gonna have to be brave.”

“Why?” she asked, immediately suspicious.

“Because we’re going to let her dress us up.”

***

Leaving the boys with recipes and strict instructions to behave and follow the plan to the letter, we tracked down Grandma.

“Grandma, wanna join us? We’re having a girly pampering day,” I asked.

“Both of you?” she clearly didn't believe that Kayo had been involved with the planning of said day. Time for plan B.

“Kayo lost a bet to me, and I said that, in payment, she has to allow me to put makeup on her and make her wear a pretty dress.” There, that sounded more believable, the glare Kayo was throwing in my direction certainly went a long way towards making it look more convincing.

“To make it fairer I said I’d dress up to, want to help?”

“I get to dress you two up?”

Kayo and I glanced at each other, in my case for moral support and strength, in hers to shoot me another death glare that promised retribution.

“Sure, as long as you dress up too, we’ll make an afternoon of it and have fun.” I nudged Kayo.

“Yeah, great fun,” she agreed. “So, are you in?”

“Heck yeah I’m in. When do we start?”

I spotted Scott peeking around the door and making shooing gestures at me.

“How about now?”

“Now? But I’m not done cooking yet.”

“Don’t worry about that now, there’s stuff in the freezer, I’m sure we can throw something in later,” I soothed.

“Alright, that sounds like a solid plan, let's do it!”

***

“Kay, hold still!”

“You just poked me in the eye with a tiny spindly brush covered in black gunk and you’re telling me to hold still? What, so you can blind me a second time?”

“It’s mascara, you sarcastic moo, and it’s your own fault you got poked. If you kept still and only blinked when I told you to it wouldn't have happened.”

“You can’t tell me how to blink.”

I gave her a look that said I’d smack her the second her back was turned. She, as always, was unphased.

“I saw what you did to Scott, you’re not making me look like a clown are you?”

“Lies!” I hissed. “I did no such thing! He looked beautiful, his eyes were blended to perfection and his cheekbones could have cut glass. It was Gordon that looked like he’d been drinking while playing with paint and that was down to Virgil, not me.”

“You both look beautiful,” Grandma smiled. “This is what I missed out on having only boys to look after, doing girls hair.” She continued to manhandle Kayo’s hair, brushing out her perpetual pony tail and attempting to twist it up at the back of her head into some kind of chignon that honestly was looking more like a deflated balloon had mated with a dead squirrel. “Why won’t this thing stay put?”

“I’ll fix it in a minute,” I promised as I brushed a little bronzer over the apples of Kayo’s cheeks, giving her already gorgeous tawny skin a little more depth. She had the nicest skin to work on, seeming to be unhindered by even the slightest of pores or blemishes, just perfect, the cow. Here’s me, I look at sugar or fat and I put on six pounds and have a breakout.

We had started by letting her do her own makeup while following my instructions as I did mine but Kayo is not the most delicate of creatures and when I spotted her stabbing a brush into the eyeshadow pallet, swirling it around like she was casting a Wingardium Leviosa and proceeding to scrub the colour (a startling shade of neon green) over her eyelid I’d called time. I ordered her to wash it all off and had taken over.

She didn't actually need much makeup, a little sweep of a dusky rose and darker brown over her eyelids, mascara to make her already long eyelashes stand out, a subtle dusting of bronzer, some loose powder to set it all and some burgundy lipstick and she was done. I took a lot more work to look that good.

Grandma had taken my makeup kit and helped herself, going for the classic blue eyeshadow, bright pink cheeks and vibrant red lips that had last been popular in the 1980’s. It didn't flatter her in the slightest but she was having a great time telling us all about how she had pictures of her mother with that look and she had thought that she looked so beautiful that she hadn't been able to resist trying it out. I couldn't talk, my habitual mashup of goth punk rocker with a side of geek wasn't exactly in keeping with the rest of the world either.

We dug through our wardrobes and selected possible outfits that we thought would do and held a mini fashion parade, allowing Grandma to make the final choices for what we would wear. Kayo’s evening wear selections seemed to mostly be made up of jumpsuits and Grandma eventually settled on one in black that had a sari style drape going over one shoulder that was accented in gold. I immediately made Kayo sit back down so I could accent her eyes with a little gold glitter eyeshadow powder to match.

Grandma seemed to be incapable of purchasing anything that wasn't purple, not that I could talk, it was one of my favorite colours too. She had chosen a nice, if slightly boxy looking, dress that stopped below the knee, with a rounded neck and no sleeves. She borrowed a black lace wrap from me and called it good.

Her hair had been growing out too and was a little too long to stay in its trademark flicked up end curls, so she allowed me to whip out the curling wand and give her a few waves that bounced happily around her face.

I fixed Kayo’s hair disaster at the same time, twisting it up from the nape of her neck, pinning it in place and then curling the ends which I’d left loose.

“You both look amazing, now wasn’t this fun?”

Kayo mumbled something that didn't sound quite like a yes but wasn't entirely negative either.

“Just for fun, shall we keep this on for dinner and surprise the boys?” I asked innocently.

Grandma grinned. “Oh yes, that would be great. You girls have really cheered me up today. We might not be going out for a nice meal, but this has been a close second.”

“When all this is over we’ll have a night out in London, we’ll drag the boys along, it’ll be great,” I promised as we made our way down to the kitchen.

“I thought you said the boys were handling dinner tonight?” she accused, looking at the table, currently bare of its usually after dinner debris of dirty plates and charred cooking dishes.

“Maybe they haven't started yet?” Kayo suggested.

“You have so little faith in us,” Scott announced from the doorway where he, Jeff and John stood. They had actually scrubbed up well, each foregoing their usual casual wear for a nice shirt -Scott and Jeff's were both white while John had chosen a midnight blue one- ties and smart trousers (we live on an island, it’s far too hot for jackets unless they wanted to sweat all night). they had even made an effort to try to neaten up their unruly hair. Their chins were still a disaster, the scruffy buggers, but at least they tried, it seemed that even a posh dinner wasn't a good enough reason to give up on an active competition.

“What are you boys up to?” Grandma asked suspiciously.

“We came to escort our guest of honour,” Jeff answered, offering her his arm and leading the way to the dining room.

The other boys looked just as well turned out, even Brains with his tufty regrowth on his head had dressed for the occasion, although his suit was a complete eyesore, a powder blue monstrosity with a ruffled shirt that looked as up to date as Grandma’s makeup, but bless him he tried.

Gordon was still wearing a hawaian print top, but it was a full shirt, with a real collar, and was tucked in to his trousers, which actually reached his ankles so I’d call that a win.

Alan was wearing a shirt that was just a little too large for him, obviously borrowed from one of the others but his trousers fit well. He had a properly knotted tie and looked so much older than he usually did, so smartly turned out, although he still managed to look adorable.

Virgil had on a mint green silk shirt and black suit trousers combo that should have made him look like a cheesy Vegas magician but he somehow managed to pull it off.

They had made the dining room look amazing, laying out the fancy china and real wine glasses, even lighting candles and piped through some soft classical music (I’m pretty sure I know who was responsible for that). The table held covered dishes that actually smelt edible and they had even hunted out some cloth napkins instead of the usual paper towel we used on a daily basis.

“You boys did all this?” Grandma gasped, seeing everything for the first time.

“We thought you could do with a night off from taking care of us,” Jeff told her, helping her into her chair.

“This all looks so nice and you boys look so handsome, although you'd look better without the face fuzz.”

“Small victories, Grandma, we got them to dress nice, we can’t ask for miracles,” I smiled.

She nodded, her eyes looking a little moist in the candle light but none of us dared to comment on it.

“We all thought you deserved some special treatment for looking after us all so well,” Virgil told her as he poured her a glass of wine and we took our seats.

Dinner was actually quite nice, it appeared that the boys had managed to cook without killing each other and follow the recipes, maybe finally realising that following instructions isn't always a bad thing had stuck with them.

They had stuck to simple but delicious dishes, a simple soup to start, followed by a nice italian style carbonara, garlic bread and crisp green salad, and apple pie with ice cream for dessert. Yeah, it probably wasn't something we’d have in a posh restaurant, but it had been made with love and I knew that that would mean more to her than anything.

Grandma was treated like the queen she was all night, being served first, her glass kept topped up and not allowed to lift a finger.

We refused to let her help clean up, insisting that she retire outside with Jeff to enjoy the beautiful night. We joined them after we finished taking everything to the kitchen, loading the dishwashers and hand washing a few delicate items.

We finished the evening with some of Virgil’s fancy coffee while they all reminisced and told stories of other family dinners.

She made sure to hug each and every one of us extra tight as she said goodnight, leaving us to finish the coffee and put ourselves to bed.

It had been a lot of work, but the smile on her face and the joy in her laughter had made it all worth it. That's what you have to do in times like these, make a special effort to look after those that look after you so selflessly, to show you care and that you appreciate them. These unusual times are hard on everyone, but we all know that if we stick together and do our best to think of others before we think of ourselves (something the International Rescue boys do everyday of their lives) then we can get through anything.

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

Valentine’s Day Looks For Lonely Old Maids Wishing To Be Courted!

HEY guys! So I was gonna do a ~vlog~ type deal here but I unexpectedly lost my voice, which was probably God telling me not to do this, but I chose to ignore that message. Anyway, Valentine‘s Day is creeping up on us like it does every year, and seems like every day I see another new VDay Date night makeup tutorial put out into the world by the lovely beauty vloggers. But it got me thinking- what about people who are single on Valentine’s Day? All the guys, gals and people in between who were unable to score a date? Plenty of people go out of their way to try and feel nice on Valentine’s Day, right? Right. Do those people not deserve their own tutorial? So, I present to you: Looks for a Valentine’s Day All Alone.

Now, I don’t normally wear makeup, actually, because, well- I trust we’re all familiar with the term ‘putting lipstick on a big’? I happen to bring new, exciting, and literal definitions to that phrase. But if I go to a party or a holiday shindig I’ll put a little on, and Valentine’s Day is no different. I want the illusion of feeling nice, you know? Even though makeup isn’t an everyday thing for me, I haven’t felt the love of another human person in over two decades, so I really think I’m the best person to walk you through the looks today. I’m a pro at lonely Valentine’s Days. So, here’s how we started:

Average, but workable. I made sure to pull my hair out of my face. Now, I’m gonna go step-by-step here for the looks achieved, so feel free to follow along!

All the VDay makeup styles I’ve seen so far have been eye-popping and phenom and all, but that’s not the look we’re going for today. We’re single old maids, remember? We need subtly on our side to draw someone in, because they won’t be expecting it. A sweet, subdued look that subconsciously screams ‘please marry me immediately and support me financially as I write the Next Great American Novel’. That’s what we’re going for today. Now, most people start off with foundation, so apply that now if you want- I personally opted out on account of my foundation is three (3) shades darker than my actual skin, because I don’t go into the sun and therefore have an unhealthy complexion they can’t match in stores, and also because I only use it in stage shows so I don’t appear faceless. So, anyway, I started out with the eye shadow:

I went for that nice light pink and the sparkly brown next to it to create my Look. They worked quite nicely together, and the sparkle didn’t overpower the ‘marriage-material-girl-next-store’ vibes. After I applied it all I tried to take pictures to show it off, but the lighting in my house was against us. But I promise it was cute, and I’m sure whichever colors you’ve selected for yourself look cute as well! I also just used some of the eyeshadow to add to my brows- I don’t like, ever bother with them because in all honesty I don’t usually need to, but they haven’t been touched up in a bit so I figured what the hell. Anyway, let’s move onto mascara!

I had two options to pick from- a volume-specific mascara or the bare minerals. I’ve heard great things about the bare minerals brand, but a couple years ago I had said something to the effect of ‘I don’t see the point in glue on eyelashes, that would make me so nervous’ and my friend Annika immediately said ‘Molly, do you even have eyelashes?!?! You should love those things!’ and sometimes I still think about that if I’m having a bad day, so I opted for the bigger volume kind.

Make sure to be CAREFUL when applying! I’ll never forget 8th grade graduation when my friend let her mom do her makeup and she got straight up stabbed by the mascara wand. Her eye was completely red for the whole ceremony and reception. You don’t need that alone on Valentine’s Day, honeys. 

Now, this is the part where most people apply winged eyeliner, and I literally love that style to the ends of the earth, but one time a makeup artist took my face in her hands and begged me to never touch eyeliner because my eyes are apparently too damn small for it to look good, so I just don’t have it. Absolutely add it to your look if you want, though! I can’t imagine it would take away from the sweet simplicity too much. Onto lipstick!

I had three super cute shades to pick from- the one on the left, I adore, but I felt it was too strong a shade for our Simple Look. The pink was lovely, shy but popping, the perfect Valentine’s Day color! But when I wear it, I’m forced to physically confront my fears that I’m slowly turning into my mother and am cursed to live out her life, and I figured we already have enough issues to deal with being alone and unloved on Valentine’s Day, why bother to throw that one in too, you know? But the red on the right? Perfect! It’s a great, fun shade by a brand I’ve literally never heard of before, but the shade is nice on me, There might be a little glitter in there, but ignore that, because it’s not actually part of the lipstick, there was just an incident on the floor of a train station bathroom on New Years Eve and we’re still dealing with the repercussions. Don’t worry about it! Just pick a nice VDay shade that’ll draw the attention of your dinner delivery person!

The application has to be precise, kids, because cleaning it up and wiping it off can be a real female dog. We don’t need any more stress than we already have, being alone and unloved on Valentine’s Day.

And look at that! That’s not the face of a girl who’s doomed to become her mother! That’s the face of a girl who’s going to sit on her couch watching MTV’s Catfish while telling herself she’s gonna marry a doctor someday. You know, when I was a kid my mother was always so quick to lay on the praise, to assure me that I’d be rich and successful and happy as an adult. These days, she’s all about me finding a rich husband. All the time, it’s ‘we need to get you a rich husband so you can be taken care of and have a lot of babies!’ And like, would I mind if that’s how the future played out? No, absolutely not, it’d be great. But like….what happened? When did she loose her faith in me? What made her give up? If I can’t be trusted to make a name for myself, how can I be trusted to find the Rich Husband I deserve? I look like a twelve year old, do you know how hard it is to get men to seriously flirt with you when you’ve got my face? Sometimes girls will flirt with me, but before I can a chance to even decide if I’m into it or not my mom appears from the shadows, apparently doesn’t read any of the Vibes going on, and effectively kills the moment. She’s a total cockblocker considering how much she wants grandchildren. And even she’s not giving me a pity Valentine’s Day card this year…

So anyway! This is the Fun part of the night alone! You look cute, you’ll probably goof around and take some selfies, selfies you think in the moment are gorgeous and not even like you and the pinnacle of human beauty, post them online to make it look like you have a life but then you’ll delete them tomorrow when you realize they got no likes. Here’s what they may look like for you:

But….we’ve reached That part of Valentine’s Day Single

You start to grow disillusioned with everything. Why were you even bothering with this? You aren’t going to get a rich spouse, you aren’t even going to get laid. All you’re going to get is a pity smile from the Chinese Food Delivery Guy when he drops off General Tso Chicken for one. Screw this, right? You head to the kitchen 

Make sure you grab the PINK wine, because it’s still festive and you’re desperately hoping to feel any sort of enjoyment out of the holiday still!

You’ll chug for as long as you can. Make sure to be careful, though! Don’t want to mess up your lipstick!

This brand I’m using is dead awful, by the way- the label implies it’s made by reindeer pissing into a bottle, and I’m pretty sure that’s an apt way to describe the taste. But it’s pink and festive!!! And besides, the good red wine is GIVEN to people who DESERVE it. It’s saved for dates and sex and romance and relaxation. Why waste it on some nobody who’s gonna waste away alone? Keep the bottle with you.

Time to shift into our second look for the night!!!

So we’re gonna come back to the eyeshadow pallet- see the brown and black at the end? We’re gonna use them to represent all the chocolate we’re going to be eating! Spread it around your mouth and lips as unevenly as you can- we’re really pigging out tonight. 

Look in the mirror. Look at what you’ve done. Feel the self disgust churning in your stomach with the wine and chocolate. You promised yourself today was gonna be a nice day, a Treat Yo Self day, a day filled with self care and self love. Pitiful. How can you ever love yourself if a rich man never will?

So now we’re gonna bust out my absolute FAVORITE product, this lovely blue nail polish:

I know with other products for our looks so far I’ve been liberal, insisting you choose colors that work for you- but I really must insist you get blue nail polish for this part. Because obviously after the chocolate and wine binge we’re going to start crying! Valentine’s Day, all alone, never experiencing love in your life so far? What’s there to even be happy about! But crying is like…such hard work, you know? You get headaches, your eyes puff and redden, you make obnoxious noises that make the old lady in the apartment next to yours bang her cane on the wall to get you to shut up. Who wants to deal with that, right? So we’re going to get a little ingenuitive and use this to represent our tears!

Draw on as many as you please, just be careful not to get any in your eyes! Then we’ll have real tears, huh? Wouldn’t that be wild…it would give off the illusion of feeling something even though now there’s just a burning emptiness inside you. You’re still crying, but you feel numb more than anything else.

Now, of course- crying is going to smudge your eye makeup. I brought out my second mascara, the bare minerals, to achieve the look:

Scratchy! 

What else would crying cause? Oh, right, it’d completely wash off all your cover-up and broadcast your damn acne to the world! Use some lipstick to achieve! 

And now, I mean, what’s the fucking point in pretending anymore, right? It’s all fucking useless. Did we actually think we were gonna find someone ON Valentine’s Day? Did we think someone we knew was just gonna confess their love for us today? Of course not! They all know us! We can dream and pray for love all we want but we know the truth, so what’s the point in hiding? Grab that bright pink mom fear lipstick and write ‘UNLOVABLE’ right on your forehead and tell the world. Tell the world. 

At this point I had planned to make a dunce cap that read ‘STUPID SENTIMENTAL BITCH’ but I discovered that my head is too Goddamn big for any material in this house that could be turned into a hat. Because of course it is. Because I have to discover another flaw in the middle of this breakdown. So let’s just stop pretending, huh? Just go ahead and give yourself a nice big clown nose.

You played yourself for a fool. Fucking disgrace. Fucking clown. When the fuck is my chicken getting here. 

It’s at this point you’re going to start blasting P!NK music as you force yourself to hold eye contact with your reflection. Maybe the night will turn around, Maybe I can still be happy- No. That’s not going to happen. That’s not going to happen ever. We’re all going to die the fuck alone. Look at what you’ve become:

Who could ever love this?!?!?! But guys, don’t worry, the looks almost complete! Just gather an array of junk food and alcohol and hop right on into your bathtub!

This is where you’re going to stay for the next 72 hours! Doesn’t that sound fun?! You’re gonna mope and eat too much and fantasize about celebrities or fictional characters falling in love with you and cry some more. While all your friends and family are out on romantic, sweet, Valentine’s Day dates with their beloved, you’re gonna be in a dark bathtub eating fried rice and reading fanfiction on your phone. Nice!

You try to salvage the night one more time by taking a great cleavage pic(or dic pic if thats what you're working with)-

What a #Look! But it doesn’t work. This is how Valentine’s Day will always go. Time to finish the look completely by turning the shower on and just standing under it with all your clothes still on

At least the water will touch your body without any complaints. 

So yeah, guys, that’s it for my Lonely Valentine’s Day makeup tutorial! Hope you guys enjoyed, hope something spoke to you, hope you found yourself inspired! Let me know how the looks turned out for you!!!! Happy Valentine’s Day guys!!!! Love you all!!!!!!

[sage-nebula]

oohhh, pokemon games or your personal pokeverse for the meme?

OOOOH, this is going to be really hard, since there are so many characters that I’m sure I’m going to forget some, but I will try! Also, these two things are kind of one in the same for me, because I adapt the games to my personal ‘verse as they come out. So like, for me, even if they’re technically not, the Red and Green we see in the Gen VII games would be, in my ‘verse, my versions of Red and Green. (And Leaf is also there, but she was drawn to the Aether Foundation because she was curious about Ultra Beasts . . . oh Leaf, what did you get yourself into?)

But hmmm, okay, let’s see---

Zinnia --- MY GIRL, MY LOVE, THE LEGEND, THE LOREKEEPER. BEST CHARACTER IN THE GAMES HANDS DOWN, 500/10, BEAUTIFUL, FANTASTIC, ASTOUNDING, A++++, WHY DOES NINTENDO KEEP TREATING HER LIKE DIRT, I’LL NEVER UNDERSTAND.Okay, now that that’s out of the way, I love Zinnia. Okay? I really love Zinnia a lot. She’s hands down easily my favorite character across the games, period, and I am beyond salty that Pokémon Generations denied her an episode. Like, honestly, my salt for this exceeds even my salt that they used Blair instead of Lea in the B2W2 shot, and that’s saying something. (Even if it just barely surpasses it. Just barely.) I love everything about Zinnia. I love that she has the best Trainer Class in all of the games (LOREKEEPER, how cool is that?!). I love that she comes from what is heavily implied to be an aboriginal race of people in the Hoenn region, that this is just a part of her character but does not define her (and that this is even lampshaded, with this exchange:STEVEN: “You’re the---!”ZINNIA: “The Draconid, yup. But you can just call me Zinnia.”This is after she has introduced herself, so Steven really has no excuse---and Zinnia calls him on it in a way that feels completely natural and flows with the script. Love it. I love her sass, and her snark. I love her determination. I love that she knows she has to sacrifice herself and she tries to look for another way, suggests that the others come up with another way, but when she sees that there isn’t she does what must be done anyway because she knows she has to. And I relate to her, too, in her grief over Aster; Shiloh died shortly after the ORAS games came out (they released in November of 2014, and Shiloh died in my arms on 9 January 2015), and so I was playing the Delta Episode right around that same time. Zinnia’s speech about the original Aster hit me hard, becuase that is exactly how I felt about Shiloh, right down to:“We were always together, in good times and in bad. I loved her . . . I loved her with everything I had, but . . . I still lost her.”Word for word, that’s how I felt about Shiloh. Her grief, her desire to do anything to see Aster again---I empathize, oh so deeply.I love Zinnia. I love everything about Zinnia. Fandom hates her, but of course they do, fandom always hates my faves. But I love her. I just wish Nintendo could show her the same amount of love. //salty4life

Leaf Tyler --- I am always, always, always going to have a soft spot for Leaf, the girl who I honest to goodness wish had been in the original Kanto games (and she was originally going to be, but it was either a time issue or a cartridge space issue or both that kept her out), the girl that I know eight-year-old me would have latched onto with a grip so tight you’d think she had rigor mortis on top of being frozen solid. I’ve of course fleshed her out far beyond anything Game Freak has done, but I love every bit of this girl that I’ve created.She’s whip-smart, she’s incredibly determined, she’s headstrong when it comes to what she wants and what she chases after. She doesn’t let the criticisms or condemnations of anyone get her down (and boy have there been a lot of those given her insistent belief in legendaries that the rest of Kanto---or at least her home town of Pallet---scoffs at). She’s incredibly passionate about what she loves and nothing, not even eldritch abominations or legendaries that can and will kill her, will frighten her away from her goal. She is a myth hunter who is determined to be a lorekeeper in her own right (even if not in the same way Zinnia is), and she chronicles everything she knows in extensive journals. Professor Oak probably suggests at one point that she try her hand at being a professor herself in an effort to get her to settle down, but nah. Nah. There are ruins to be spelunked, there are eldritch abominations to chase. She’s not stopping for anything.Professor Oak just sighs.

Whitlea “Lea” Fiona Fair --- How could I not mention my girl Lea? Lea, like Leaf, is rather headstrong and determined---but she’s always determined about all the wrong things (well, usually). This is a girl who sees life as a giant adventure and, if it isn’t, then she will make it one. She hates sitting still. She eats nachos for breakfast. She legitimately traded her Pokédex for a special Zelda edition DS Lite because she wanted to play Spirit Tracks, and she has forbidden Bianca from telling Cheren because Cheren will tell Professor Juniper and then Lea will get in trouble. She’s being followed around by a Victini she calls Thing because Thing imprinted on her, thinking she’s its mom, because she accidentally woke it up in Liberty Tower. She has dubbed N “Captain Unova” because he never understands any references. The only books she reads are comic books, she loves sports and games, won’t tolerate it at all if you fuck with her friends and, as of the latest chapter, is feeling seriously conflicted over this whole “pokémon liberation” dealio.Basically, Lea is a helluva lot of fun to write and, since I know all of Reversi even if I haven’t written it, I know all about her character development and think it’s great. I love Lea. I’ll always love Lea. And I still think she has the best design out of any of the female protags, hands down.

Mortimer “Morty” Matsuba --- I’m never going to ever stop loving Morty. Morty is a character I always loved due to his design, but I really fleshed out his character when writing liveblog drabbles of SoulSIlver back in the day, and I absolutely love him for being the deadpan snarker straight man to Eusine’s . . . Eusine. But even as he is a deadpan snarker who legitimately believes Eusine will get himself arrested one day, he still loves Eusine with all his heart and will always bail him out of whatever trouble (or prison) he gets himself into. (He would just rather Eusine not get himself into that trouble / prison in the first place.)

Eusine Minaki --- And of course I can’t mention Morty without mentioning Eusine. Again, I fleshed Eusine out a lot, and bouncing him off Morty was so easy, their banter came so naturally. So much of it was childish bickering despite the two of them being adults, but that’s what happens when you’re childhood best friends. As energetic and ridiculous as Eusine can be at times, however, he has a serious side to him as well that I like, and I took Lyra stealing his dream from him a lot more seriously than the game did. I like to think my version was better, even if it would definitely need a re-write now.

Gladion --- Gladion was a character I knew was going to be a fave from the moment I saw him, and while I still think that his development was rushed and poorly written in-game (and while my version of Gladion is far more temperamental, heh), I still adore him and his incredible theme music oh so much. The way Gladion reacted to the abuse Lusamine doled out on him is very similar to how I’ve reacted to the abuse I’ve gone through in my life, and so I find Gladion to be a pretty relatable character---including and especially when it comes to his scathing sarcasm, because damn. I can in fact be that way at times if someone aggravates me. There have been times when I’ve taken no hostages, I can freely admit that.

N Harmonia --- I love so much about N. He’s such a complex character, and perhaps one of the most complex characters Game Freak has written into their games---which is why it makes me sad that fandom tends to focus on only one or two of his traits and ignore all the rest. N is many things; he’s an older teenager / young adult who was abused and sheltered for pretty much his entire life, but he’s also an older teenager / young adult who was raised to believe that he is a King and a Chosen One and acts accordingly. N is one of those characters that is very difficult to write correctly, but I think he’s brilliant all the same. I love him. (And the fact that he is just as headstrong, blunt, and passionate as Lea makes them delightful to bounce off one another, let me tell you.)

Brendan James Anderson --- Brendan, son of Petalburg City’s Gym Leader Norman, is as surly and salty as they come, and I love him for it. He’s absolutely that moody teenager who is salty about anything and everything, and while some of his woes are understandable (e.g. he didn’t want to move to Hoenn, he’s salty at his dad for separating from his mom over work, et cetera), the truth is that he will complain endlessly about stupid things as well, and he damn well knows it. He likes writing poetry and reading, which is why he named his mudkip Moby Dick . . . aaand his mudkip appreciates this about as much as you would expect, so. Brendan complains about their vitriolic best buds relationship frequently (especially as Moby, once a swampert, routinely bucks him off mid-Surf and sends him careening into the ocean). I love writing Brendan because, personally, I find the fact that he is perhaps even saltier than the oceans that surround Hoenn to be hilarious. His complaining isn’t whining so much as it is just bitching, and sometimes you just need a salty af protagonist to get you through. (Also, it makes for a nice contrast with his cheerful neighbor, May Birch.)

Iris de Nadder --- A DRAGON PRINCESS, I love Iris, I love her so much, and I wish we got to see more of her in the original Black / White games, though I do love what we do get to see. I love how she protects Bianca after the incident in Castelia City, and though I definitely upped that scene in Reversi (wherein she flat out kicks the shit out of the Plasma grunts assaulting Bianca, mocks them for getting their asses kicked by a twelve-year-old girl, and sends them packing), I do still love what we see originally. I see Iris as being unwilling to take anyone’s shit, but also generally being upbeat and friendly, because honestly, a human’s life is too short to spend being prickly and unpleasant. Dragons? They live ages. But humans? Practically babies from birth to death in a dragon’s eyes. Iris only has a human lifespan, so she’s gonna live it to the fullest and encourage others to do the same. She’ll encourage others to be their best selves while being her best self, and I think that’s awesome.

Karen Noir --- Finally, the last spot will probably have to go to Karen of Johto’s Elite Four. Not only does she spout the truest words in any Pokémon game (that you should battle with the pokémon you like), but I love how I fleshed her out with regards to her relationships with Morty and Eusine. (Basically, she was Morty’s rival in childhood, but Eusine felt that Karen was stealing his BFF, so he and Karen actually have a rivalry in which Karen mostly just makes fun of him and Eusine gets angry, and meanwhile Morty just honestly doesn’t want to know what’s going on, he just wants the yelling to stop.) Plus, I mean, she’s a total badass and has a houndoom named Lilith that can and will fuck everyone up, so. I love her.

This is super long but I always have a lot of Pokémon feelings, so. It’s to be expected, I suppose!!