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liliacamethyst · 1 year ago

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Webs of Fate - Miguel O'Hara (Part II)

Sequel to Web of Secrets

Miguel O'Hara x SpiderSun Reader

words: 5.2K

warnings: secret pregnancy trope, swearing, angst, heartbreak, grumpy/sunshine, smut, time jumps, not really comic accurate (canon events), semi public piv, 18+

Part I Part II Part III Part IV

You are all back at the Spider-Verse Headquarters and the atmosphere is tense. Everyone is still high on adrenaline from the mission. You’re nursing a deep gash on your arm but your spirit is far from broken.

Miguel, however, seems to be on the verge of an explosion.

“WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT OUT THERE SPIDER SUN?” he bursts out, his voice echoing through the HQ.

You're taken aback. “What do you mean?”

“That reckless behavior! You could have been killed!” he roars. “Why didn’t you retreat when you were injured?!”

“Because there were lives at stake! I can handle myself, Miguel!” you shout back.

“You think this is a game?! You think being part of this team is just for kicks?” Miguel’s face is red, his voice strained.

“Don’t you dare! Don’t you dare question my dedication!” you yell, your own anger now matching his.

The team is watching, shifting uncomfortably. Gwen looks at Jess, who shakes her head. The room is thick with tension.

Alright, if you are being honest with yourself, your recent actions in the field could definitely be classified as reckless. Perhaps even bordering on idiotic - not that you’d ever confess that in front of Miguel. You didn’t know where your mind went. Wait, no, scratch that. You knew precisely where your thoughts were, every mission since you discovered your pregnancy has been like this; your spider senses dulled, focus scattered to the wind, and reflexes that would’ve made a sloth proud.

And then there was this mission – your first one in quite a while alongside Miguel. He was bound to notice.

So you were fighting an Electro variant from an alternate universe, alongside Jess, Gwen, Ben and Miguel. The electric villain was throwing bolts of energy left and right and everyone was giving their all. You noticed a civilian trapped under some debris. You made a beeline for them, not thinking about anything else.

As you lifted the debris, an energy bolt flew straight for you. Usually, your Spider-Senses would have alerted you but not today. It hit you square in the back and sent you flying.

You hit a wall but ignored the pain as you scrambled back to your feet. A sharp ache spread across your arm but you gritted your teeth and kept fighting.

Miguel yelled, “What the hell are you doing?! Fall back!”

But you didn’t, you kept pushing forward.

He landed next to you, his eyes filled with anger and something else, maybe a hint of worry. He grabbed your waist to pull you back. But as another energy bolt was coming your way, you shoved him out of the path, taking the hit for the second time. So yeah, you could say that this mission wasn't exactly the shining star in your superhero career.

“ESTÚPIDA! So damn stupid. I won’t fucking watch someone throw their life away recklessly!” Miguel was now yelling loudly in oyur face for everyone in the HQ to hear.

“Oh, please. What’s it to you? Since when do you care, Miguel?!” you shout back, finally having enough of his insufferable attitude. “All this time, you’ve treated me like I’m dispensable. Like I don't matter! Well, guess what? I can fight, I can make decisions, and I don’t need you to approve them!”

“Don’t!” Miguel's voice cracks, and for a brief second, there’s a look of hurt on his face that surprises you. But his rage quickly replaces it. “I cannot do this anymore with you, ¿me entiendes?” he yells.

The room falls silent. Everyone’s gazes dart between you and Miguel. You can feel Gwen’s worried eyes on you, and Ben Riley. looks like he wants to intervene, but this moment is too charged.

You take a deep breath, tears welling up. “I can't do this anymore either,” you whisper.

“What?” Miguel's voice is barely audible.

“I can't keep fighting for a team where I’m not respected or trusted. Where you treat me constantly like a liability, like I am worth nothing to you,” you say, your voice steadier now.

“You don’t know what you are saying,” Miguel says, his tone slightly softening.

You turn around, your eyes welling up once again and open a portal to your universe. “I do, I quit” you say, your voice breaking.

You reach into your pocket and pull out your transdimensional gizmo, the small device that every Spider-person uses to travel across the multiverse. It's an intricate piece of technology, a blend of science and magic that fits in the palm of your hand.

You toss the device on the table in front of Miguel. It skids across the surface before coming to a stop right in front of him. He looks from the gizmo to you, his expression unreadable.

"Take it. We don’t need it anymore." You say defiantly, meeting his gaze.

Everyone knows the implication of you returning the gizmo. Without it, you're effectively stranded in your universe, unable to return to the society. This isn't a decision made lightly, it's a point of no return.

As you step through the portal, you glance back one last time. You see Miguel’s face, contorted in pain, but he doesn’t move, he doesn’t speak and he doesn't stop you.

Your heart is breaking, but you can’t stay here. Not when it’s this painful.

You turn away and head toward the portal room, with one hand lightly grazing your tummy. Gwen calls your name, but you don’t stop.

In the dim light of the room, the world seems to fade away as you lie there with Miguel on top of you. You are under him, breathless, your fingers running through his hair. His body pins you down in a tender, electrifying way, and you can feel the rhythm of his heart beating against yours.

His fangs graze the curve of your neck lightly, eliciting a shiver that runs through you. In response, he nuzzles into you, his breath warm against your skin.

"Ever think about what we're doing?" he asks in a whisper that vibrates against your neck.

"Constantly," you respond, your fingers tracing the curve of his broad shoulders, "but I don’t regret it, not a moment.”

He lifts his head, his red orbs searching yours. “Neither do I,” he says, his voice barely more than a whisper. His hand reaches up to trace the contour of your face.

"You know," you whisper, your hands continuing caressing his back, "I always wondered what it was like in your universe, in your time."

He shifts a little, propping himself up on one elbow as he looks down at you. His eyes, usually as unreadable, now seem to crack open; emotions swirl within them like stars.

"It was great, you know," his voice is gentle, each word enveloping you. "No, more than that – it was perfect," he corrects himself. His eyes never leave yours as he continues, "I had my Gabriella. Ah, you would have adored her." His voice softens to a mere whisper as if speaking her name too loudly might shatter the memory. "She was this incredible burst of life just like you. My own little sunshine. I didn’t know my heart could hold so much until she came into my life."

"The way she would throw her head back and laugh, it was like music. Her tiny hands – so soft and gentle. I remember how one of them always found mine, and the world felt... right." He continued, "I was never alone, never empty." He swallows hard, as if trying to keep the flood of emotions from washing over him.

You cup his cheek gently, smiling up at him. "You don't have to be alone, you know?"

He lets out a dry chuckle. “Sometimes it feels like there's no other option. It’s my fate."

“What scares you the most, Miguel?” you suddenly ask, your voice barely above a whisper.

He hesitates. “To lose myself… to forget what it means to care for someone,” he finally confesses.

“You won’t,” you assure him, your thumb stroking his cheek. “Not if you don’t let yourself.”

“¿y tú?” His voice is husky. “What’s your biggest fear?”

“To be forgotten,” you whisper.

He lowers himself and presses his forehead against yours. “Imposible,” he breathes. “You’re the sun. No one forgets the sun.” He pulls you closer, pressing a soft kiss to your lips, his arms tighten around you, pulling you closer until the world outside disappears.

Suddenly, his wrist console beeps, yanking him back to the present. "O’Hara, are you okay?" Lyla's voice echoes in the room, breaking the silence. He blinks, his gaze focusing on the holographic screen displaying the mission details in front of him. "Yeah, Lyla," he responds, his voice a bit hoarse. "Just remembered something," he murmurs, and refocuses on the screen before him.

Amidst the sea of codes and numbers, Miguel finds himself struggling to focus. His thoughts still are consumed by you, and a heavy realization crashes down upon him like a tidal wave - he’s lost you forever.

He always knew that this was how it was meant to be. This was the only logical conclusion, the inevitable outcome that he had tried so hard to deny. He was aware of the potential repercussions, the cosmic imbalance that could be brought about by your intertwining fates.

Lyla had warned him multiple times, cautioned him against letting you close. But how could he have possibly resisted you? You, who shone brighter than the sun, who captured the hearts of everyone around with your aura and your kind soul. Your beauty was unparalleled, and your laughter had the power to fill a room, casting away shadows. He was a moth drawn to your flame, hopelessly captivated from the very first day he met you.

But you were never meant to be his story, not the path his life was meant to tread. You belonged to another world, another universe.

"You're thinking about her, aren't you?" Lyla breaks the silence with her smooth, computerized voice. “No,” he interrupts her sharply, his voice a little too forceful.

But Lyla isn't easily deterred. "You know it was dangerous from the beginning, Miguel," Lyla continues. "Engaging with her like that...it could have caused irreparable damage to the multiverse."

"I know," he replies curtly.

Unyielding, Lyla continues, "This was never supposed to be a canon event. Her universe is not meant to mix with yours. It's fortunate that she left when she did. The damage could've been—"

“I KNOW!” Miguel suddenly erupts, his voice thundering through the room. He screams, his frustration boiling over, "¡Ya lo sé, Lyla! ¡Basta ya!" ("I already know, Lyla! Enough already!") With a loud grunt, he sweeps his arm across his desk, sending his keyboard, mug, and various other items crashing to the ground.

There is a deafening silence as Miguel breathes heavily, his chest heaving. His eyes are wide, his face is flushed and his fangs are bared. He never loses control, not like this.

Lyla, for once, remains silent.

3 months later…

Back in Nea Yorkey, Earth 586 , you are perched on the rooftop, absentmindedly rubbing your stomach. Time has passed since you left Nueva York and Miguel, but your feelings for him are still a tangled mess. Damn these pesky pregnancy hormones.

For once, it’s pretty calm out there. No honking horns in traffic jams or the usual buzz of people everywhere. It’s like the city hit the pause button and honestly, it’s kind of nice. The streetlights are like tiny fairy lights all over, and the tall buildings around you feel like they’re keeping you company.

The cool breeze brushes against your face, and you can't help but be lost in your thoughts. Thoughts of him. The relentless flood of emotions is almost too much to handle.

The flashback hits you hard, placing you right back in Miguel's office late one evening. Your legs were wrapped around his waist, your backside planted firmly on his desk amidst strewn cables and metallic pieces and half-empty coffee mugs.

"Miguel, someone will catch us," you had warned, your breath hitching as he nipped at your skin, his hands deftly moving to undo your skintight suit. His hair was a little longer then, the ends tickling your forehead as he kissed you.

He had just chuckled, the sound deep and throaty, making your heart flutter. "They know better than to disturb me," he'd responded confidently, his lips trailing fiery kisses along your jawline.

Usually, Miguel was cautious about showing any sign of affection when others might be around, even if 'around' meant anywhere in the sprawling headquarters of the Spider Society. Yet, that night, he seemed to throw caution to the wind.

In his enclosed office, late into the evening, he let his guard down - a rarity. His lips were insistent against your skin, his touch setting you alight. You remember how the soft glow of the desk lamp had caught in his eyes, making them appear even more mesmerizing.

As he was holding your ass up steady and pounding into you, in a pace and fervor you never experienced before, you hear his communicator ring vibrating. You instinctively attempt to pull away, assuming he would answer the call, but he holds you tighter, his lips never leaving your skin.

His free hand pulls up a holographic screen,which flickered to life above the desk, revealing a slightly pixelated image of Jess. You panic for a moment, worried that she might see you in this intimate moment with Miguel, but he just shook his head slightly, reassuring you that she can't. He must have filtered the video feed on his end.

“Yes, Jess?” Miguel’s voice was steady, but his breath ghosted your neck in short spurts. He continued with his action, his thrusts a little slower but deep, nevertheless. You clamp your teeth down onto Miguel's shoulder in a desperate attempt to stifle the moans escaping your throat, your senses overwhelmed by the intensity of the moment. You can barely contain yourself. Miguel's soft, amused chuckle vibrate through you as he wraps his arms around you protectively. Asshole.

“We’ve got an anomaly on Earth-4067, seems like a temporal rift,” Jess's voice came through the hologram.

“Have you tried the Q-particle stabilizer?” Miguel asks, his voice so casual it's almost disarming. His eyes meet yours, a playful glint in them.

“Yeah, but it didn’t work. The rift is actually growing,” Jess responds, the worry in her voice increasing. “What do you think we should do?”

“Alright, I want you to reconfigure the dimensional frequency to match the rift. Then patch the satellite feed through the Alchemax algorithm, reverse the temporal frequency by 4.7 hertz and use the resonance pulse to stabilize the rift,” Miguel articulates with authority as he continues to pick up his pace. You’re close to the edge, with the euphoria threatening to make you cry out. The sheer pleasure is now tinged with a faint edge of pain, and a wave of panic crashes over you. The thought of Jess possibly hearing you is nerve-wracking, and you’re now fighting to suppress your screams.

Your breathing becomes erratic as you whisper in a hoarse, needy voice, “Miguel, ‘m close."

"I know, mami. Come for me," he whispers back, his voice filled with a playful mischief that seems to defy the gravity of the situation. His hot breath against your ear sends shivers down your spine and the wave of pleasure crushes down on you.

“Miguel, are you sure about this? I mean, if something goes wrong…” Jess hesitates.

“I’m sure, Jess.” Thrust. “Do.” Another hard thrust. “it.” Miguel’s voice turns forceful.

“Okay, I trust you. But... are you alright? You sound kinda breathless,” Jess's suspicion returns.

“Oh, just...uh...running some diagnostics. It’s a bit stuffy in here,” Miguel replies with a smirk on his face, his fingers now gently brushing against your bare heated skin.

The rooftop is silent again, and you're still rubbing your belly, where the life you and Miguel created is growing. A bittersweet tear rolls down your cheek as you wish, not for the first time, that things could have been different.

You don’t know how long you are sitting there, taking in the city scene. But it was getting dark, when a familiar figure swings onto the rooftop. It's Gwen, carrying a small package in her hand. “Gwen? What brings you to Nea Yorkey?”

She walks up to you with a soft smile, "Do I need a reason to visit my favourite Spider-Ma? I've got something for you."

You raise an eyebrow as she hands you the package. As you unwrap it, you find a tiny Spider-Man hat, similar to the one Mayday usually wears. And to your surprise, there’s a tiny anarchy pin, attached to it.

"From the group," she says softly. She adds, pointing at the pin, "This bit here, that’s from Hobie." Of course it is.

You’re moved to tears as you hug the hat close. It's a simple gift, yet it means so much. You feel a lump in your throat, and Gwen steps forward, wrapping you in a warm, comforting hug.

"I...I miss all of you so much," you manage to whisper, your voice choked with emotion.

"We miss you too," Gwen replies, her voice equally soft.

You pull back, wiping your eyes. Gwen tries to lighten the mood, "So, any guesses on the gender? I bet it’s a boy."

You shrug, a small smile tugging at your lips, "I don't care what it's going to be. I just want them to be healthy."

Gwen grins, "Just remember, if it is a boy and he turns out to be a handful, you owe me a soda."

You both sit on the edge of the rooftop in a comfortable silence, legs swinging over the city, the conversation turns more serious.

"So," you venture, "how are things back at the Spider Society?"

Gwen’s expression turns contemplative. "It's been... strange since you left," she admits.

"Strange how?" you prod.

"Well, you know how Miguel was always a little on the, uh, grumpy side?" she says, making a grimace.

"You mean being a brooding fortress of doom and gloom?" you quip, and Gwen chuckles.

"Yeah, that. Well, he's gotten worse since you left. Like, way worse," Gwen's face turns somber as she continues. "He’s even more closed off than before. His temper’s shorter, he barely communicates, and he's been pushing everyone away. Miguel’s basically got everyone on lockdown. No unauthorized visits between universes. There’s this... I don’t know... this cloud hanging over him, you know?”

Your heart tightens as you take in her words. You had no idea that your departure had such an impact on him, or anyone for that matter.

“He doesn’t talk about it, but I think he misses you,” Gwen adds, looking directly into your eyes.

You are torn. Part of you wants to be angry at Miguel for how things went down, but another part aches for him.

Gwen nudges you. "Maybe he needs his sunshine back," she says with a gentle smile.

You sit in silence for a moment, the weight of Gwen’s words sinking in. “Don’t be silly. I was never his sunshine.”

4 months later…

Beneath the pale glow of hospital lights, pain and joy mingle in the delivery room. The grip you have on the sheets gets tighter as you push to usher your baby into the world. Your hair is sticking to your forehead, your breath comes in heaving gasps, exhaustion painting dark circles under your eyes.

Meanwhile, unbeknownst to you, a portal flickers to life outside your window, and Gwen, Peter B., and Hobie emerge.

“Make way! The party has arrived!” Peter B. exclaims loudly.

“I don’t believe in parties.” Hobie says as he struts in, clad in his Spider suit with a leather jacket over it, pins and patches proudly displayed.

Gwen knocks at your door. The midwife, busy with you in the labor, answers.

“Uh, who are you?” the midwife asks, slightly agitated.

“We’re friends of hers,” Peter gestures towards you, “is it a good time?”

You hear their voices, but you cant muster up a response all you can do is scream and push.

“Blimey, I didn’t think it’d be like somethin’ outta Alien! You alright there, love?” Hobie’s eyes go wide, as he enters the room.

You can't help but laugh through the pain, "Oh, just peachy, thanks for asking."

Gwen steps forward, immediately grabbing your hand, her voice soothing, “Hey, you’re doing great. Is there anything we can do?”

“You could get Hobie out of here,” you jest, rolling your eyes, but your smile betrays your appreciation. Another loud scream follows.

“You got this, luv!” Hobie shouts. “Just imagine the bloody contractions as guitar riffs! You’re about to release the raddest album in history!”

Finally, after what feels like an eternity, you hear the cries of your newborn baby.

“Congratulations, it's a boy!” the nurse announces, handing the baby to to you.

You can’t help but laugh. Gwen steps closer to the bed and takes a peek at the baby. Her eyes light up. “Told you, it’s a boy. He’s absolutely beautiful,” she whispers.

Hobie chimes in. “Alright, let’s get a proper look at the little bloke!” He leans in, and his face softens. "Oh, look at 'im!" Hobie exclaims in his thick British accent, peering at him. "Little blighter's a spitting image of 'is mum, ain't he?” No. You see it then, the dark eyes with a hint of red glow echo the intensity of his father's gaze, the dark chocolate hair and the sun kissed complexion. He looked undeniably just like Miguel. You cant help yourself but fall immediately in love with your and Miguel’s little boy.

As they prepare to leave, Gwen, Peter B., and Hobie each take turns holding Gabriel and whispering well-wishes to him.

“I can’t thank you guys enough for being here,” you say, wiping away a tear.

Peter’s mask is off and he’s beaming. "We couldn't miss this for the multiverse!"

Gwen follows suit, "Yeah! Plus, Hobie wouldn't let us hear the end of it if we didn’t."

“We’re family,” Peter says firmly. “Across universes and timelines. We’re always here for each other.”

With that, the trio put on their masks and with another whoosh, they're gone.

1 year later...

One year has passed like a whirlwind. You've established a balance in your life. By day, you are a doting mother, and your world revolves around a little ball of energy named Gabriel. His laugh is the music that fuels your day, and his tiny hands holding yours make everything seem alright.

At night, though, you become someone else. Clad in a white suit adorned with golden sun patterns, you swing through the skyscrapers of Nea Yorkey as the Sun Spider. Your heart swells with pride, knowing that you’re keeping the streets and your little boy safe.

Your neighbor, Melissa, sometimes babysits Gabriel. She is a cheerful, quirky 19-year-old neighbor who dreams of becoming an Instagram influencer. You trust her (her career choice not so much) and, most importantly, Gabriel adores her.

Up until today, you believed that he hadn't inherited any powers. However, today was the first time he climbed up a wall and spun a web, without the aid of a web-slinger. It was the first time you witnessed him display such powers, and naturally, you were impressed. However, you also realized that being a mom would now involve dealing with a whole new set of challenges and responsibilities, making everyday life more exhausting than before. But you are up for the challenge;

Meanwhile, in the Spider Society’s HQ in Nueva York, Lyla’s holographic screen blinks red as she detects an anomaly in Earth 586 - your universe. She reports it to Miguel, who is still his grumpy self, seemingly even more irritable with each day passing.

“There’s a presence in Earth 586 that does not belong,” Lyla reports in her emotionless tone.

Miguel, sitting at his desk, sighs deeply. “Assemble the team. Pavitr, Lego Spider-Man, and... let’s bring in the newbie, Miles.”

Minutes later, the trio is briefed about the anomaly – a two-year-old child. They are to extract the child and bring it back.

Back in your universe, you're facing off against a notorious villain – The Shocker, who is on a rampage downtown. His high-frequency shock waves shake the very foundations of the buildings around you.

“Not tonight, Shocker,” you quip as you dodge a blast. “I’ve got a bedtime story to read!”

You're agile and sharp, but you can’t wait to get back home to Gabriel.

In your apartment, Melissa is on the couch, engrossed in her phone. She doesn't notice Pavitr slyly slipping into Gabriel's room. He can’t help but feel conflicted, seeing the innocent child asleep.

“This is the target?” Pavitr speaks in a hushed tone into his communicator. His voice is laced with doubt.

“Yes, proceed,” responds Miguel firmly.

Pavitr gently picks up Gabriel, cradling him in his arms. “Sorry, little guy,” he whispers and slips out.

Outside, they gather near the portal. Miles, who is visibly excited to be on his first mission, can sense the tension among the group.

“That was… too easy,” Pavitr murmurs, still holding the sleeping child.

Through the swirling portal, they make their way back to Nueva York.

Meanwhile, you web up The Shocker and leave him hanging for the police.

Back in the Spider Society's HQ in Nueva York, the team stands in a specialized containment room with the toddler still peacefully sleeping nestled in a makeshift bed of spider-web, completely oblivious to the attention he's attracting. One by one, members of the Spider Society trickle into the room, drawn by curiosity and concern.

Miles, who is new to the Spider Society, looks at the child with confusion. "I don't get it, what's so dangerous about a kid?" he asks.

Pavitr looks conflicted, “We have to determine where he came from and why he is considered an anomaly.”

Lego Spider-Man remains silent, trying to analyze the situation. He finally speaks up. "We should be cautious. Just because it's a child doesn't mean it's not potentially hazardous to the multiverse."

Miguel enters the room, his face cold and emotionless. He glances at the sleeping child, then at his team. “It doesn’t matter what it is. Anomalies threaten the balance of the multiverse. Every anomaly has to be returned to its home universe. That’s the rule.” he says sternly.

"But he's not an anomaly, boss," Jess adds, gazing fondly at the child. "He's a little boy."

Miguel’s gaze is unwavering, ignoring Jess. “Lyla? Whats the status?”

Lyla's holographic form flickers into the room. "This entity possesses unknown powers," she declares, her voice ringing out with clinical detachment. "And according to my scans, it doesn't belong to any known universe. Therefore, it cannot be returned. It must be... eliminated."

Miles' eyes widen. “Wait, you mean…?” he can’t bring himself to finish the sentence.

Pavitr steps forward, his fists clenched. “We can’t just... There must be another way.”

Back in your universe, you swing closer to your apartment, but your spider-sense starts are tingling with a ferocity you’ve never experienced before. Your heart races, and you quicken your pace. Bursting through the window, you find Melissa still sitting on the couch, scrolling through her phone.

"Where is he? Where’s Gabriel?!" you shout, panic straining your voice.

Melissa's eyes go wide as she looks up from her phone. "What? He's in his room, sleeping," she says, but her voice falters when she sees the terror on your face.

You rush into Gabriel's room and find the crib empty. Your knees buckle, and a guttural scream escapes your lips. The room spins as you run back to the living room, grabbing Melissa by the shoulders.

"Did anyone come in? Did you see anything?!" you practically scream at her.

“I... I didn’t see anyone. I swear!” Melissa's voice shakes.

Your heart feels like it's tearing apart. You look around the room, desperate for any clue. You need to find your son, and something deep within you tells you that the Spider Society is where you need to go. You have to find a way to travel through the multiverse without a gizmo and the time is ticking. You have to find your son.

Back in the HQ in the midst of the tension-filled room, Gwen stands up, "Miguel, you can't be serious," she pleads, disbelief resonating in her voice. "We can't just... kill a baby.”

Miguel's eyes narrow. "Sometimes tough decisions have to be made for the greater good.”

Just then, little Gabriel wakes up. His big eyes wander curiously around the room, and he starts to make happy babbling sounds. Unfazed by his surroundings, he looks at each of the Spider-People with fascination.

As Peter B. is about to reach down to pick Gabriel up, the toddler crawls quickly over to Miguel. His little face lights up with the purest of smiles and he reaches his tiny arms towards Miguel as if trying to give him a hug.

The room seems to collectively hold its breath. Even Miguel seems taken aback.

Pavitr can't help it, “He seems to have taken a liking to you, boss.”

Gwen smiles, her eyes watering up. “See? Even this innocent soul can sense there’s still good in you.”

Tiny fingers grip at the fabric of Miguel's suit, baby Gabriel coos and giggles as he clambers up the towering figure. Planting tiny baby kisses on any part of Miguel he can reach, the toddler's joyous laughter rings in the silent room. "Vete, Vete." Miguel mutters. And despite Miguel's cold exterior, Gabriel is unphased, drawn to him as though an invisible bond exists between them.

Miguel looks frustrated and uncomfortable with the baby's affection. He awkwardly picks Gabriel up at arm’s length. But the little one is relentless, trying to cuddle into Miguel’s chest.

Annoyed, Miguel places Gabriel into a containment field made of energy beams, to keep him in place. The baby, though restrained, is still reaching out to Miguel with his tiny hands, cooing.

The room goes quiet again, and Gwen speaks, her voice soft.

“Look at him, Miguel. Please. You can’t tell me that this doesn’t affect you in any way.”

Miguel's face is tense, his jaw clenched. His eyes dart between Gwen and Gabriel. All eyes are directed towards Miguel. The room feels like it’s waiting for something to shatter.

“We do what needs to be done, no exceptions.”

Part III "Web of Shadow and Light"

a/n: Honestly, I can't begin to express how much your support and kind messages mean to me. I literally started crying when I saw how much love this story received. It means the world to me. Truly, thank you. I'd love to hear your thoughts, and if someone could give me a heads-up on whether the tag list functioned properly, that would be great. Also, apologies for any inconsistencies or logical errors regarding the multiverse or canon theory. I watched the movie but I'm not 100% sure of that's how it works.

Once again, I really do appreciate each and everyone of you. Please, don’t forget to take good care of yourselves and stay hydrated! ILYSM

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bunnys-kisses · 12 days ago

Text

love is a kick to the stomach

max verstappen - sequel to: lust is a loaded hand gun

tags: smut/fluff, pregnancy & kids, falling in love, dad!max, body worship, tenderness, plot, cowgirl position

a/n: this was made possible by the support of over a dozen people asking for a sequel! i hope you enjoy it <3

"are you sure you're going to be fine on your own?" your former teammate charles asked as he helped you pack the last of your suitcases. your apartment in monaco was bare, and for good reason, you were going home.

you replied with a shrug, "i'll be fine. i mean if i could sustain a driving career for as long as i did. i can handle raising a baby." you rubbed your lower back a little bit.

charles said,"i guess so, you know, monaco isn't a terrible place to raise a child." he gestured to himself with raised eyebrows.

"as much as i'd love to." you said, "i think people will start to raise eyebrows when they see max's look-alike running around. plus, i guess it's a way to get away from it. something simpler for my kid."

you hadn't spoken to the father of your son, max didn't know you were pregnant. and it was the best for everyone if he never knew that you had a child with him.

you remember the first time you held nicolas in your arms, it took you close to ten hours for you to deliver him. you had to say, the aches and pains of racing were nothing compared to the rising anxiety and pain of delivering a child. didn't help he was stubborn like this father. you tried not to think about max too much during the moments of lessened pain. part of you wanted him there, while you were determined to raise your child alone. the moments of weakness you felt during delivery made you want to hastily unblock max's number and call him before the next contractions came.

"okay, okay. just you and me, baby, just you and me." you told yourself as you laid in the hospital bed with your belly swollen from the months of carrying your son. you hissed through your teeth as another contraction hit.

in the end, you had nicolas. or nico as you called him. tired, over-heated as you pushed out your baby. the nurse told you it was a boy. wrapped in a blanket as he was placed on your chest. you could only describe it as maternal warmth as you cried. this was your baby. your little nico. "congratulations." the nurse told you as you held onto him gently. when you gave birth to your son, max was in monaco streaming with the rest of the redline team. fully unaware that you just had his child.

you lived a quiet life after that, but sometimes you could still feel the rumble of the track in your soul. it pulled you in, there was no reason for it to come back. there was no way you could, nico needed his mother and you made the choice to start a family of your own.

"nico!" you giggled towards your toddler, nico was now close to three years old! you picked him up from his spot at the coffee table, surrounded by papers and markers. you gave him a kiss on the cheek and said, "remember uncle charlie?" you swayed a little with the child in your arms.

the little boy nodded, "uh-huh." charles sent you and nico christmas presents every year. he even visited once or twice during summer break and spent a week with the two of you, he loved the time away from the hustle and bustle of racing. nico knew uncle charlie mostly because of leo, you had to teach him how to be gentle with the dog.

"well, he is inviting us somewhere. we're going to see him race, just like what mama used to do." it was the pre-season testing, it would be nice to see everyone. see how things changed in the three years since you left, "i know you've been asking about the cars." you smiled at the little boy.

nico really was the son of two racers, even now he was colouring pages of cars and he learned some of his colours from the cars in your neighbourhood. his expression light up, "the cars?"

you chuckled and said, "yes! we'll see the cars go really fast." it felt somewhat silly to say that raising a child felt more fulfilling than any of the titles you won.

it was almost more challenging with more rewards. driving was intense and lit an inferno in your stomach. but, you were constantly swarmed by the media with people yelling in your ear at all times. you were both hated and loved by the press, the organization and the fans. and while parenthood was harder in a lot of ways, it was nice. it was quieter. you saw friends, you found interest in painting, you read all the books you bought on your travels as a racer. the best part about having a kid was having a travel buddy. you weren't your stats or your trophies, you were just you.

but driving was a drug, and you also wanted to see the cars go very fast. so within a couple of weeks you were on the track for the pre-season.

"and that nico, is a racing car." you pointed towards the red ferrari car. a similar one to the one you drove. and you watched your young son light up the way you did all those years prior.

you knew you were going to see max. it was stupid to think that you could not see him. he had won the previous year's wdc, he was everywhere. so while you spoke to lewis and charles, you caught sight of him. and he caught sight of the toddler in your arms.

charles looked over to where your gaze was and said, "oh shit." then tried to shift over to sort of usher you and nico away from the gaze of max. but you reached out and touched your former teammates shoulder.

"it's fine..." you assured him. the past year, as it felt like nico was growing so much everyday. the feelings about max had resurfaced. while you believed that you and your network of friends and family could raise nico just fine. max didn't know that nico existed. a night of passion was just that in max's mind.

you shifted your toddler in your arms and looked over to max. you smiled and gave him a small wave. and you could see the expression cross max's face.

nico let go of the front of your shirt and made child's grabby-hands towards the man. and max took a bold step forward, and then another, and then another before he was crowded in your space. an expression across his face as he looked down at you and nico.

"hey." you said.

"hi." he replied. he raised his hand for a moment, but stopped himself. he swallowed and asked, "who is this?"

you looked down at the boy who was holding onto your shirt once more. you smiled at max, "nicolas. but everyone calls him nico. he's my son."

our son.

max swallowed and looked at the boy. he patted him on the top of the head and smiled, "well, hello nico. your mama was an amazing driver." he looked at you once more before you were pulled away by charles to see the rest of the ferrari team. max watched you walk away, just as he did all those years prior.

"can i watch nico?" charles asked while

"i can watch him just fine. i've been doing it for three years." you chuckled as you grabbed a chip from the bag and ate it.

charles crossed his arms and looked at you, "when was the last time you had a break? plus me and alexandra are thinking about, maybe, having a child once my career winds down." he smiled a little, "want to make sure that i can handle a three year old."

you looked to your son on the carpeted floor playing with the duplo blocks that you had brought with you. you then looked to charles and asked, "so you're probably assuming that if you can handle the son of me and him, you can handle your own child?"

charles nodded, "the child of ferrari's princess and mad max. must be a handful." he laughed a little.

"he's not the son of satan, charles." you playfully shoved your former teammate. and he shrugged. you were thankful in a way that you didn't go with charles' plan for him to father your child. you felt like that would've been more complicated than what you had now, since you liked charles' current partner.

"take the night off or at least a few hours. go do something for yourself." charles gave you a sympathetic glance. and you had no choice to concede.

he was right, since nico's birth you had no time for yourself unless he was asleep. but usually you fell asleep too. in the end you dressed nicely, in a pencil skirt and a white blouse. you had your purse on hand and told charles to text you if there were any issues. and you made nico promise you to be good. you kissed the boy's cheek before you headed out.

you ended up at a bar. it wasn't busy and you blended in with the other patrons. the press didn't bother you too much, you had been out of the spotlight for long that it was mostly making the public aware that you still existed and now you had a kid.

"well, well, well." a man's voice caught your attention. you looked up from your phone to see max by your table, "has ferrari's princess finally come back to her castle."

you swallowed, "hi, max."

"where's the little one?"

"with charles tonight."

max nodded, "i was going to make a joke about him being the father... but i know that's not true." he sat down across from you at the table. he rested his forearms on the table, his watch shined in the low light of the bar, "what happened?"

"nothing happened. i just retired."

"with my son... a son i knew nothing about." his voice was low, "why didn't you tell me? do you think so low of me i wouldn't have tried to help? you ran off back home and blocked me..." there was a look in his eyes.

"i didn't want to burden the world champion." you lied as you took a sip of your stiff drink. you felt tension in your shoulders as you took a sip. your heart rattled in your chest, "i didn't expect you to do anything. i didn't need you to."

max reached across the small table and took a hold of your wrist to bring your closer. then he locked his fingers with yours. he said, "maybe i wanted to... did you never think i wanted to be a father?"

you swallowed, "no." you assumed he didn't. not after everything, you heard enough of his father's berating in your karting career. the angry dutch words followed by insults in english so everyone knew what was being said. and that apprently only scratched the surface of what had been done to him. you thought max was a good fit because he would be so disinterested in being a parent. but as he looked at you, hand in yours. you realized you made a grave error. you said, "being a parent isn't easy."

max chuckled, "i know. i'm not stupid. i thought about that night we shared, it comes back to me. i've never wanted someone the way i wanted you. and to know you carried my child, it only pulls me in more."

you took another sip of your drink with your free hand and said, "and what are you going to do about it, verstappen?" you may be a mother now, but you were ferrari's princess, the temptress on wheels. you'd still go toe-to-toe with any man.

max simply smiled.

you ended up in max's hotel room. his hands on you like they were all those years ago. he touched you the way a lover would as the two of you passionately made out. you moaned against his lips and you held onto his strong shoulders.

"i thought about you every day of your retirement. i wanted to know what happened. i thought you were sick." he kissed along your neck, his hands at your waist.

"i mean, i did have quite the stomach bug. took ten hours to get him out." you moaned a little bit as his lips grazed over your pulse point. you could feel a surge of pleasure through you. you had been with anyone intimately since max. you didn't have time for dates let alone hook-ups.

"i should've been there. i would've been there in a heartbeat. you, me, nico... a family." he said as he looked to you once more and you toyed with the material of his shirt, "i always had a fondness for you. you let nothing stop you."

you smiled, "i always thought you wanted a model... not a driver."

he pressed his chest against yours and looked into your eyes, "maybe in another time. i wish i could've seen you pregnant." he swallowed as his hands touched your breasts.

you chuckled lowly, "someone wanted a milf?"

he shook his head as he pressed his forehead to yours, "no, no. i wanted to see your body change from what we made. the child we made together."

"but racing..."

he groaned, "fuck it. choose between another trophy taking up space in my apartment... or a home with you and nico. such a hard choice, don't you think?" he chuckled as he held you so close to him. he groped your breasts, "a man who finds more fulfillment in pieces of plastic and metal than having a home to go to is a stupid man."

you chuckled, "i guess i didn't want to be your wag either."

he shook his head, "i don't think you can be a wag if you played the sport. if you are worried about there being expectations placed on you, then don't worry. if you can't drive, then i'll drive twice as hard for us. any ten second gap i have will be twenty seconds, because i know you only expect the best."

you felt warmth in your cheeks. and eventually he led you to the bedroom. you ended up on the bed with max undoing your button up. you giggled, "ah, does someone like mothers?"

he groaned with his nose against your heated skin, "only when they had my kid... nico looked exactly like me." he said as he got the button up off your shoulder.

you moaned, but then yelped as he pushed you back onto the bed. you looked up at him, "i'm on birth control." you licked your lips as you got out of your bra and max took off his t-shirt, "fuck, now i remember why i wanted to have a baby with you."

he put his hands on his hips and smiled. tiny waist, broad shoulders. a certain strength to him, but he didn't look like a dehydrated mess. he was strong in a way that excited you, but you also knew that he loved a good meal. long before he gorged himself on your cunt, he happily ate the meals you cooked. you remember he even said, "you'd make a great wife." which honestly sowed the seed that led to nico.

the night of passion that led to the making of your son. you could feel max's eyes wander across your body and he licked his lips. he said, "you look good. bit more curves than when we last were like this."

"yeah, i had an eight pound baby." you chuckled as you got the rest of your clothes off. max's hungry gaze lingered, "i got a few more curves that a track as carry him for nine months, you know he was three days overdue."

"stubborn." max laughed as he unzipped his jeans, "just like his mama."

you narrowed your eyes, "no, just like his old man." and max was all over you. the kissed became hungry and needy. neither of you had been intimate with another person since the night you made nico. three years ago. you were busy with a baby while max couldn't get you out of his head. he tried to find another woman, he tried to be close to someone. but you always pulled in the back of his mind.

both of you were into the hotel room and max kissed at your breasts. your breasts were roughly average size before you got pregnant. the training and weight guidelines for racing prevented you from having a big chest. but you went up at least a cup and a half during your pregnancy. and max loved kissing the heated skin.

"fuck." you gasped. both naked on the bed, moved against one another. it was like being in a familiar place. you knew max's body just as you did all those years ago. you kissed him and ended up straddled max's waist.

he was up against the pillows and your knees on either side of him. your hands roamed his chest and he shuddered. he looked up at you with those blue eyes, "please, fuck. please, give me a chance. give me a chance to be there for you and nico.."

you swallowed, you never expected that from max. a man on the top like that wouldn't easily quiver at the aspect of being a father. but max wanted it. he wanted the family. he wanted a home. you sighed to yourself, you guessed an apartment full of trophies wasn't enough.

you put a hand on his chest before you sank on his cock, "max. if nico decided not to peruse racing.... would you still love him?" that was a conversation you had to have with yourself. you loved racing, that was your passion for years. but you promised yourself to never be the parent that you saw early in your career. twisting their children to make them conform to the parent's standards. to force them into racing.

he said, those blue eyes gazed up at you, "if nico wanted to race. i'm behind him a hundred percent. if it doesn't, nothing changes... he is still my son. i'm behind him through everything."

you leaned down to kiss max on the lips, "fuck, max." you sank down onto his cock and continued to kiss him. you splayed your hands across his broad chest and continued to move against him.

"shit." he shuddered. he felt a certain euphoria that left him needy for more. never had he had soemthing like this. not since the last time he had you. it was a amazing. to have you so close once more. he wrapped his strong arms around you and moved against you. the kisses shared between you two were hot and heavy, it left him feeling tense in a good way. to have you on top of him, close to him was a feeling he wished he could never forget.

even after three years you still occupied his mind in ways that left him shuddering against you. after three years, after all this time, he still wanted to map your body with his tongue. even the changes post-pregnancy. he held onto you and kissed at your heated skin. he wished he was there, seeing the progress of you carrying nico. to be a father. he moved against you, he held you. he loved you, but he had been holding onto that love for some time. unable to properly display it, and to find out you had a child with him only fueled the passion for you. the two of you moved against one another, you both felt the intense pleasure from the heated movements against one another.

this was how you should've been a long time ago. if max had known you wanted a baby, he would've happily had one with you. but he should've been there for every moment of it. even if you couldn't race because of the pregnancy, max would kiss every winning trophy in your honor, he'd race for both of you. and then come to the paddock with you and nico, a family of three. a family he always wanted.

he wanted to kiss you in front of the cameras. even if you were retired, he wanted to make you feel that every winning was for both of you. he kissed at you heated skin and you moaned, he felt the warmth of love in his gut. you two should've been married by now, a house somewhere quiet. it didn't even have to be in monaco. max would happily pack up his racing sim gear and his cats, and move to anywhere you desired. he hoped that you two could be a family.

to come home after a triple header and see you and nico. the boy looked so much like him. those round cheeks, those wide eyes. the excitement on the track and his need to be close to his mother (you). it screamed a young max, but max wanted to be a better father. he wanted to be present, he wanted to be there for his son.

he groaned, "please, please. let me into your little family." he kissed as your larger breasts and moved against you. the pleasure was deep inside of him. to have you once more felt like a dream.

you held onto his short hair for a moment, you groaned a little bit as you felt the immense heat between you two. you leaned down and kissed him on the head with such tenderness. this wasn't the kind of sex you had all that time ago, this was something more softer. more gentle. less like a means to an end, and more like you two were becoming familiar with each other's bodies again.

"you look perfect," he said lowly, "i'm surprised you hadn't picked uo a husband after all the time." he held on a little tighter and worked your body against him. the pleasure shot through the both of you which only spurred you on the move faster.

your bucked your hips against his, you felt the inferno in your belly as you held his face and kissed him once more. if he wanted to be in nico's life then you'd allow it. you'd let max be involved, be the father he wanted to be. you thought his trophies were more important, but seeing him, his eagerness to be in nico's life made you realize that he wanted a family, a home. you kissed him once more as the two of you thrusted against one another.

you knew racing would always pull you back in eventually. it had that effect on people. it was infectious, even tucked away in your domestic life. you still sat on the couch with your rambunctious toddler and watched the races at odd hours.

"why do you want a life with me and nico, you could have any-"

"i don't want to hear it. nico deserves a father and you deserve a loving partner... hell, maybe even a husband." he said with total conviction as he moved against you. the pleasure felt like it was going to boil over soon.

you moved against him, eagerness in your movements. you couldn't think of anymore things to prevent max from being part of your family. your movements staggered and you felt the pleasure bloom into something more. you hissed, "fuck," while you moved against him. you felt the inferno in your soul, the need for him in ways you didn't need any other man.

this was the father of your son, and you carried feelings for him just as you carried nico. the combination of you two, the affection you had for one another in a brief moment. it was something you wanted to expand on. you wanted to love max verstappen.

you held onto the father of your child. you came around his cock and arched your back. you felt the fury of lust through your body as you moved against him. you laid a heavy kiss on his lips as your pussy clenched around his cock, "fuck." you said, words muffled by the kiss. max wrapped his strong arms around you and moved against you further. you felt his cock nudge against some of your softest areas and it made you toes curl through climax.

he groaned into the kiss and continued to move against you. a few more heavy strokes and he finished inside of you. he practically melted against you and you smiled against his lips with affection. his brain felt swamped with emotion as he said, "i love you."

and without thinking you replied, "i love you too, max." then kissed him once more with total affection for one another.

max swallowed as he held you as you slowed your pace to a stop. he craned his neck to press his cheek against your soft stomach, "don't leave again... please."

"max." you panted and combed your fingers through his hair. he held onto you tighter as if you were going to slip away.

he said, in a tone you never thought you could hear from a world champion, "don't.. don't leave." this was supposed to be simple. max was a means to a child, but he wanted to be in nico's life. he wanted to be a father.

you wrapped your arms around him and held him close to your abdomen. you exhaled deeply and said, "i don't want to pressure you into being a father... if you're going to be in his life, you're going all in. he needs stability."

max lifted his head to look at you. those blue eyes dazzled in the low light of his hotel room. he held onto you a little tighter, not enough to bruise however. he said, "i'm all in. you, me, and nico." like a promise.

maybe it was the post-orgasm hormones or maybe because you became a tad more in touch with your emotions after having a child. but when max said that, you cried.

"go nico! go, go!!!" you shouted as your nine year old sailed past the finish line in first place and you broke into a grin. your husband wrapped his arms around you and pulled you close into a kiss. you laughed into the kiss and said to your husband, "oh man. ow, ow. okay, okay!" you looked down at your swollen middle, "someone isn't happy about the excitement."

"sorry there, little one." max's hand rubbed your swollen middle. his wedding band gleamed in the afternoon light. you were welcoming a son in four months and could already feel the commotion of racing.

you smiled at max for a moment before your son got out of the cart and you were moving as fast as you could to greet him. with his helmet off, you cupped your son's chubby cheeks. he was looking more like max every day, but smashed records the way you did.

you were soon a family of four. you didn't live in your home country and max had moved away from monaco when you got married. max was a good father, as he picked up nico with ease.

"you did amazing, nico. good job!" he beamed at the little boy and the boy beamed back at him. you knew that people shouldn't have children to heal a part of themselves. you learned that when you were pregnant the first time. but when max gave praise to your son, he was giving the young boy the support he never got. that if nico was going to eventually end up in formula one, it wasn't going to be the way that max was brought up.

he'd do it right.

stern when he needed to be. you'd both push nico to be the best, but also give him the love a wide-eyed, chubby cheeked boy needed. and as you leaned down as best as you could to kiss your son on the cheek. you felt like a family. it felt like home.

you were confident that you could've raised both nico and your future son by yourself. but it was an adventure you'd rather share with max. <3

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lustspren · 8 months ago

Text

Champagne Showers ft Jihyo, Sana

length: 20.8k words ✦

Jihyo, Sana & Male Reader.

Special Guest: Lee Gahyeon (Dreamcatcher)

Queen of Hearts Sequel.

genres: dom! Jihyo, sub! Sana, threesome, double blowjob, bi, oral sex, dirty talk, voyeur, creampie, public sex (Gahyeon), bathroom sex (Gahyeon), sextape (Gahyeon), facial (Gahyeon) ✧

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"Just promise me you'll be okay and send me lots of photos," you told Dubu.

You and her were holding hands in front of each other, next to the line of people who would check in to take their respective flights. It was summer, a direct synonym for vacations. You had no plans of any kind, but Dubu was joining her family in Hawaii, leaving you alone in your apartment with a few free weeks ahead of you. Or so you thought.

"Honey, I'll be fine," she squeezed your hands, "And of course I'll send you pictures, or do you just think you'll never see this pretty face again?"

With a little smile she moved forward and gave you a small kiss.

"If I stopped I'd probably die," you said, kissing her back, "God, I'm going to miss you so much."

"And so do I, but hey, cheer up! You won't be alone all this time."

At that moment the line moved forward. Dubu released your hands.

"Huh? What do you mean by that?"

"Bye honey! I love you!" She blew you a little kiss as she left.

"I-I love you too! But what the hell do you mean?!"

She didn't respond to you anymore as she started talking to the airport staff. You stood there for a few seconds, making sure everything was okay until she finally passed the checkup. She turned once again, smiled at you in the distance and disappeared down a hallway to the right. So you turned around, asked for the taxi back home and left the airport.

The big answer to your big question came to you when you opened the door to your apartment and walked into the living room. Sitting very comfortably on your couch was Park Jihyo, who looked up when you showed up. Behind the sofa you noticed the handles of a suitcase. She smiled and leaned forward, one elbow resting on her knee and her chin resting on her fist.

"Ready for a hot and exciting vacation with me?" she asked with a mischievous tone.

"I'm only going to ask this once..." you sighed, "whose idea was it?"

"Mine."

"Sure, I imagined it," you nodded.

"I can go if you want, honey," she made a move to stand up.

"No! I never said I wanted you to leave. I just, you know, don't like not finding out about things before they happen."

She pouted.

"It was something that came out as an afterthought, sorry baby."

"It's fine, it's fine," you did a gesture with your hand.

You went to sit next to her and looked at her. As always, you were struck by how incredibly effortlessly attractive she was, with her short messy hair tied in a bun. The sleeveless crop top that she was wearing not only highlighted her tits in a hypnotizing way, but also showed off her toned shoulders and arms, a product of the gym sessions she had been doing for months.

"Can I make you forgive me somehow?"

She hugged your waist and rested her chin on your shoulder.

"No need, I've already forgiven you."

Jihyo smiled, she surely expected such a response. She had known you for several months, after all.

"No but, I want to make it up to you somehow baby..."

She buried her face in your neck and began to fill it with kisses that made you weak in an instant.

"You said this vacation would be hot... how hot?" you gasped.

"Why don't we find out?"

Jihyo settled down on the couch, her face hovering over your bulge. She pulled down your sweatpants and boxers and gave you a perfect blowjob to welcome the summer. You came in her mouth, so there was nothing to clean up. She had her pants and panties pulled down only to the beginning of her thighs, you had done it so you could grope her ass while she sucked you off.

"It'll get better later," she said, wiping her chin with the back of her hand, "This is just the first level."

"Right," you nodded, still agitated, "Well, uhm… why don't we go and I'll help you get settled in your room?"

"My room?" She pulled up her panties and pants and stood up straight, you did the same, "Why can't I just sleep with you?"

"Well..." you avoided her gaze.

"I don't think you want to feel so alone at night... do you?"

She snuggled against your chest with both hands and scribbled with one of her fingers.

"Well… no."

"So, what do you say?" She kissed your chin, "I'm the best nighttime company you can have, cutie."

You didn't have to think about it for too long.

"My god, it's okay. You can sleep with me," you nodded.

"Perfect! I promise you won't regret it."

She smiled from ear to ear and stood on tiptoe to give you a small kiss on the forehead. She then went to grab her suitcase and let you guide her to the bedroom.

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That same night you were getting ready to sleep. You already had your pajamas on—short shorts and a simple t-shirt—and you were lying on your bed, watching a YouTube video on your phone. Jihyo had gone into the bathroom half an hour ago to take a bath before going to sleep, and when she came out she did so with only a pair of dark blue panties on. Otherwise, she was completely naked. She spent a couple of minutes drying her ears inside with the towel and putting body lotion all over her body; she then went to lie down next to you. The red fruit smell of her skin reached you immediately.

"You just pretend I'm not here," she said.

Contrary to what she might have been trying to do, all she did was attract more of your attention when she turned on her side facing you and squeezing her naked tits together. You were too sleepy to try anything, so you just covered the both of you with the blanket up to your waist and focused on finishing your video until you decided to sleep.

"Hard to pretend you're not here when you're naked in the same bed as me. Rest well."

You heard a small giggle from her, you smiled too, turned around with your back to her and fell asleep after a few minutes.

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In the morning you woke up feeling hotter than normal, which made no sense since you always turned on the air conditioning to sleep in summer. You tried to stir in bed, finding that you were restricted from being able to do so. Opening your eyes and looking over your shoulder you found that Jihyo was wrapped around you in her firm arms, her tits pressed tightly against your back. Your movement caused her to open her eyes, but you noticed that she wasn't just awake.

"Good morning, sweet sleeper," she told you in a husky, provocative voice.

She lifted your shirt and put a hand in to caress your abdomen while she placed kisses on the back of your neck. Then she used that same hand to put it in your shorts, under your boxers and grab your cock to massage it.

"Good morning indeed..." you gasped.

You turned your upper body towards her a little so you could kiss her. When your cock was completely hard, she pulled down both your clothes and started giving you a handjob.

"This is what every morning is like with me... I hope you don't get bored of it," she whispered against your lips, which sent shivers down your spine.

"Fuck… how could I?"

Jihyo rubbed your cock slowly at first, and as the seconds passed she increased her speed after spitting into her own hand. You got tired of it very quickly, you wanted more, so you gave in to your weakness and asked her to ride you. Jihyo seemed pleased with your request, you could see it in the triumphant expression she wore. She did so, taking off her panties to straddle you and ride you like the best of cowgirls. After a few long minutes you both came—you did it inside her—, and you got up to go make breakfast together.

From that morning on, you and Jihyo spent the entire week living together in a normal way as two good friends could. You enjoyed your vacation in many different ways, the most frequent was going to the pool of the residential complex, drinking cold drinks and swimming; you also watched a lot of movies in the comfort of your home, and went out to dinner a couple of times. You saw her as an older sister figure—taking into account the obvious differences, of course. In a way, your relationship with her reminded you of the relationship you and Dubu had before you were a couple, except that you didn't feel romantic attraction for Jihyo, and you were sure that she didn't feel it for you either. She just took extremely good care of you, and why not say it, she also fucked you spectacularly well.

When the vacations began to feel lacking a spark that would make them memorable, Jihyo opportunely arrived with news that took you by surprise. It was Saturday, you and she had gone out to the supermarket to do a little refilling of the cupboard. When you arrived you went to rest on the couch and Jihyo just went to the bedroom. After about ten minutes she returned and sat down next to you with a jump that gave you a start.

"Guess what!" she said. The excitement in her voice made it sound too loud.

"Don't scream, please," you sighed, "What's wrong?"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she lowered her voice, "You don't know her, but I have a friend."

"You have many friends, it's normal that I don't know most of them."

"I know I know, but there is something important with this friend. Minatozaki Sana, do you know her?"

"I have no idea about her. Maybe if I see her in person I can tell you if I've seen her on campus or not, but her name doesn't ring a bell."

"It doesn't matter, it doesn't matter," she waved her hand impatiently, "she invited us to a party, a summer party."

"Us?"

She hesitated for a moment.

"Well, she only invited me at first. But then I told her about you and she said it was perfect, that you could come too."

"Aight, I guess it'll be okay. Where is it?"

Jihyo's expression changed. She avoided your gaze and gave an awkward smile.

"Uh… Busan."

You raised both eyebrows in amazement.

"What? Nah, there's no way," you immediately refused.

"But why!"

"Because it's a city I've barely been to, in the place of a person I don't know!"

"So what? You'll be with me! Besides, she's a trustworthy person!"

"Oh my god Jihyo," you put your hands up to your face and groaned in frustration, "Do you know how much worse my social anxiety would get?"

"Honey, you won't feel that way," she grabbed your thigh with both hands and squeezed it, "I'm all the extroversion and protection you need, how could anything go wrong?"

"Just promise me that you won't leave me at any time, will you?"

She rubbed your thigh a few times and then gave you a pat.

"Balto, don't be silly. How can I leave you alone around people you don't know?"

"I don't know, drunk, maybe?"

That got a laugh out of her.

"No matter how drunk I am, I'm not going to let you go, boy."

You removed your hands from your face and smiled. You hated yourself for giving in so easily to her attempts to comfort you and convince you, but you couldn't blame yourself either, she gave you nothing but security.

"Okay, we'll go to fucking Busan, Park Jihyo."

"Yeah!"

She closed both fists in the air and shook them. She reminded you of a baseball fan watching her team's home run.

"When?"

Again the awkward smile.

"Tomorrow morning we will take the flight to Busan."

"You've got to be kidding me," you groaned again in stress and sank into your seat.

"She told me today!"

"Well, very inconsiderate of her then," you looked at her with annoyance, "We have to pack our things, I assume?"

"Yup, for two days or so," she stood up, "Come on."

"Right now?" you really felt too tired still.

"We have to get up very early, so yeah, don't be a weakling and get up."

You had no choice but to reluctantly get up and follow her to the bedroom to pack your things, wondering what the hell Park Jihyo was getting you into.

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The next morning your waking time was 5 AM. You enjoyed getting up fairly early, but that was simply outside your comfort zone. You and her felt like a pair of zombies as you stood in line for the checkup, which moved relatively quickly. In a matter of minutes you were inside the plane, and as soon as it took off, you fell asleep for the entire hour of the flight.

Jihyo woke you up when you were already landing in Busan. You looked at the time on her phone: 8:13AM. The sun was shining outside, without a single cloud to prevent you from seeing the blue sky. It took some effort on your eyes to get used to the sudden change in light though.

"Where will we go when we get down?" you asked, then yawned and looked at your phone.

"Sana is going to meet us. In fact, she should be waiting outside right now."

Jihyo looked at herself in the portable mirror and lightly touched up her makeup, as well as her hairstyle and small areas of her outfit, which was nothing special but which she still wanted to keep in order.

"Well, there must have been some consideration," you said with a wry tone.

When you landed and picked up your luggage, you went through the respective checkout and went to the main entrance-exit of the airport, where the crowd of people hurried back and forth with suitcases in hand. Jihyo took out her phone and connected to the airport's Wi-Fi, attentive to any notification she might receive, you deduced that she was waiting for some notice from Sana. And indeed, the message arrived shortly after.

"Oh, come on. She's outside," Jihyo said.

You left the airport in search of the aforementioned. In front of you the row of parked cars extended in both directions, reaching the curves that faced the highway. The one you and Jihyo thought was Sana was off to the left, leaning against the trunk of what looked like a Toyota sedan. As you approached, Jihyo's change of expression was the confirmation you needed.

She went ahead of you, and with suitcase in hand, she ran with small steps towards Sana, who heard the wheels rolling on the sidewalk and looked up from her phone. Sana smiled as Jihyo approached her, and damn, she was gorgeous. You immediately noticed that her taste in fashion, as well as the aura she gave off, was impeccable and refined. She was dressed in a nice velvety khaki jacket, and high-waisted black pants that perfectly accentuated the curves of her hips. One side of her platinum hair fell over her right shoulder, and the rest of it fell behind her left one. She had a round face with tender features; a pair of cheeks that only invited you to bite them, and pretty lips that invited you to... You blinked repeatedly, you were rambling in your thoughts.

"Minatozakiiiii!!" Jihyo squealed, setting the suitcase aside and opening her arms towards Sana.

"Unnieeeee!!" Sana screamed too, although in a more discreet tone.

They both merged into a tight hug. With her chin resting on top of Jihyo's shoulder, Sana looked you up and down with a little smile. Breaking away from the hug she looked back at your friend.

"Was it a good trip? I really appreciate you guys coming so early," she asked Jihyo, taking her from her arms.

Her tone of voice was so beautiful and delicate that it sweetened your ears. She sounded like a Disney princess, and she could perfectly be one if she put her mind to it.

"Well, we slept for the entire hour, so there's not much to say, honestly," Jihyo laughed.

"Oh, I understand you two must be very tired then..." Sana made a sad face, then looked at you, "I've never seen you before, it would be appropriate to formally introduce ourselves, right?"

You felt a prick in your heart when she spoke to you. As always happened to you when you met a new person, holding her gaze for more than three seconds was more than impossible for you. Jihyo also turned to look at you, and noticing your nervousness she nodded at you as if to say 'Come on, she's not going to bite you’.

"Y-yeah, sure," you nodded. You took a couple of steps until you were diagonal to Jihyo, "You can call me Balto, it's my pleasure."

You extended your hand, and she shook it gently. Her touch felt delicate, as if she were wearing a silk glove. You noticed her eyes on you at all times, but you were afraid that if you looked at her from that distance you would start to stutter more than usual.

"The pleasure is mine, Balto. I suppose I don't need to tell you my name, but I'm Sana. Minatozaki Sana, biomedical engineering student. Maybe that's why I've never seen you."

"Yeah," you nodded weakly, watching the cars pass by on your right, "West wing, right?"

Sana just nodded with a tight smile.

"I've only been there a couple of times, a-and I'm embarrassed to admit it was because the vending machines there had a snack I wanted."

Jihyo and Sana laughed at the same time, you had a hint of a smile too.

"Well, speaking of snacks, how about we go have breakfast? It's on me, and I insist," she raised her finger before Jihyo objected.

"I'd make it harder for you, but I'm hungry and not in my right mind," Jihyo replied.

"I wouldn't have changed my mind anyway."

Sana turned around with a superb smile and went to open the trunk of the car. When it opened, you put your suitcases in there and got inside with Sana. Jihyo sat in the passenger seat, and you settled behind her in the back seats. The entire journey was based on you being quiet looking at the streets of Busan, and Sana and Jihyo catching up on details about their social circle. You didn't know anything, you only recognized one or another name from having heard it from Jihyo previously, but it was fun listening to them talk. Your perception of Sana was not difficult to draw: she was an elegantly spoken person, her tone of voice and her words were always as sophisticated as possible; she also highlighted how perceptive she was in every response she gave, never remaining silent or giving up the last word unless the topic demanded it. She was the closest thing you could get to a Japan Princess today, but despite this you didn't notice her as egocentric or arrogant, quite the opposite, you could be sure that she could be as chill to deal with as Jihyo was.

You arrived at your destination within ten minutes. The place where you were going to have breakfast was a nice cafe on the terrace of a five-story building. Sana was the one who guided you to the tables on the balcony, covered by large awnings that protected them from the hot sun. You sat in a triangle arrangement around the circular table, both girls on your diagonals. You ordered some toast with tomato, mortadella and mozzarella, accompanied by a glass of cold apple juice. Jihyo ordered lemon cake. And Sana ordered baked baguettes with bacon, egg and cheese.

While you were waiting for the food, Sana got some conversation out of you.

"Balto, what faculty are you from? Law, like Jihyo?" she asked you, then took a sip of her cappuccino.

"Uh, no," you shook your head, "Architecture."

"Oh… that's great," she nodded slowly, "Is it as cumbersome as they say?"

"I don't think it's as much as biomedical engineering."

Sana laughed again. Her laugh was as adorable as the way her cheeks stuck out when she smiled. She took another sip of the cappuccino and left it on the table.

"Both have their difficulties, the important thing is how you perceive it. Do you like it?"

"I love it, actually."

"Well, I love my career too. The difficulty doesn't matter," she shrugged, "Oh, how did you and Jihyo meet then?"

Jihyo finally got into the conversation.

"He is Dubu's boyfriend, a good friend of mine. She also studies architecture, in fact."

"Dubu? Kim Dahyun?" Sana raised both eyebrows.

"Aha, her. We've talked to her a couple of times, remember?"

"Sure, sure," Sana nodded, "How could I forget her? Beautiful smile, beautiful hair and beautiful figure. You're pretty lucky, huh?" she looked at you.

You didn't respond, instead of words just a silly babbling came out. You blushed and looked away. Sana giggled.

"Well, he and Dubu went to my apartment to drink and do karaoke. That's where I met him," she looked at you, "The poor guy wanted to run away, she had forced him to be there."

"Really? I hope you don't feel that way. We can go to the airport right now and buy you a return ticket, if you want," Sana raised an eyebrow.

"No!" you said immediately, "N-No, no need, really. I feel good."

Her eyes on you were a huge distraction. You were already awkward at socializing, but with her gaze on you, you directly felt like you were an idiot. Again, she just laughed. You thought she was making fun of you, but it was more like a tender giggle.

Your food arrived seconds later. You had breakfast calmly and without rushing. When it was over, Sana went to pay the bill—without asking how much it was, it should be noted—and you went back to the car. She drove for another ten minutes to one of the coastal areas of the city, where you could already notice that the buildings became much more modern and visibly exclusive as you entered a residential complex.

After passing a few houses and turning a corner, you finally arrived at Sana's chalet. You confirmed what you had previously suspected: she had to come from an extremely wealthy family, because that piece of infrastructure could easily be worth millions of dollars. It was two stories, the lower one being wider in comparison. The façade was simple and elegant, with a perfect balance between exposed concrete and somewhat discolored oak wood. There were few windows from the front, just one from the hallway that divided the second floor. There was a garage to the right, and to the left, a small interior garden surrounded by concrete walls where the entrance was.

Sana took a remote control from the glove compartment and pointed it at the garage, whose wooden plank door began to open in an upward arc. After parking the car inside, you got out and took your suitcases out of the trunk. You left the garage, and Sana pressed the same button as before to make it close. Then you turned the wall to your right and found the main door. Sana entered a numerical combination into a small panel embedded in the left frame of the door, and it turned on a small green light signaling that the door had been unlocked. You went ahead.

"Would you like a little tour?" Sana asked as you crossed the small garden that led to the main hallway.

"I mean yeah, this place is huge," Jihyo responded, seeing a tall tropical plant to the left.

Sana seemed pleased at the answer, and she nodded her head. You crossed the hallway, and when you reached the other side you could already see the sea in the background. You were greeted by stairs that led to the second floor on the right, and a large interior yard on the left; the area delimited by a wooden plank floor to make it stand out from the rest of the surface, which was made of polished concrete. In the middle of this yard there were three groups of wide individual white sofas placed side by side, around two short squares that functioned as small tables. This small area was covered by the shadow cast by small palm trees planted on top of a raised surface that ran from wall to wall. In addition to this, behind the furniture and under a covered area there was a long bar with counters full of bottles behind it. The perfect space for a bartender, basically.

The hallway and inner yard were part of a larger loft, where further ahead, finally entering under the roof, was a large open plan kitchen to the right, a dining room towards the center and a living room towards the wall on the left. .

This open space flowed to the terrace, where the main attraction was a spectacular infinity pool overlooking Busan Bay, which was delimited by a glass fence that also extended around the edges of the balcony. At the edges of the pool facing the house there were two wide beach chairs that were level with the ground, and that protruded half a meter into the water thanks to two concrete pillars below.

"By the way, do you need separate rooms or are you okay sleeping together?" Sana asked as you went up to the second floor.

You and Jihyo looked at each other. Your cheeks felt hot, and she tried hard to hide a smile.

"We have no problem sleeping together," Jihyo replied.

"Wonderful! Then allow me to show you your room."

Sana guided you through a series of wide hallways until you reached the room in question. It wasn't too big, but it made up for it with beautiful views towards the sea thanks to the glass walls on the left. There wasn't much furniture there either, just a queen size bed with a wooden panel as a headboard and a short wide stool with white lights underneath. Without a doubt the most notable thing about the room was that, just like the first floor, it was an open space that connected to the bathroom. Without any walls, no separation and much less privacy for the shower. It was meant for just one person, and maybe Sana knew that.

"Make yourself comfortable and let me know anything you need, please," Sana said as you left your things around the bed. Her hands clasped on her belly.

"A shower curtain, perhaps?" Jihyo joked with a chuckle.

"I'm afraid it won't be possible. Most of the time they aren't needed so there aren't any."

"So if a boat passes by, someone can see my tits while I bathe?"

"They would have to have very good binoculars there to be able to see such a hypnotizing and satisfying scene, so I don't think so."

After leaving your suitcase in the corner of the bed you sat on the lower edge and stretched your arms. You looked to the right to see the sea, radiant and beautiful at that time of the morning.

"Well, it's not like I care," Jihyo said, and then took off her jacket to lie down on the bed.

Sana took a couple of steps back and leaned on the right frame of the door.

"Hey, there are a lot of preparations to make before the guests start arriving, but you don't have to do anything. I have a whole team already hired to do everything."

"Sure? I can help you with the logistics, it's fun," Jihyo offered.

"Dear, as a good heir to my mother, I should be able to take care of everything myself. So no, you just relax here with Balto."

She blew Jihyo a kiss and winked at you before leaving the room. Jihyo stood up and knelt behind you to hug you by the neck. She gave you a kiss on the cheek.

"Well? What do you think about her?"

"I think she seems like something out of a fairy tale. I haven't heard someone so well-spoken since I had dinner with Dubu's parents."

"And she's a fucking beauty, isn't she?"

You weren't stupid, you already knew the purpose of the question from that mischievous tone she added at the end of the sentence.

"I would believe it if you told me she’s a beauty icon in Japan."

"Her mother is pretty well-known in the tech world, so she might be," Jihyo laughed.

"What does she do?" you turned to see her.

"Hmm... do you know Neuralink?

Your eyes widened. You just nodded.

"Well, she is one of the spearheads. I can't tell you exactly what she does because I don't know."

"Damn, she was born in a golden cradle huh?"

"Yeah, something like that. But she's always stood up for herself. She's currently running a project at the university about brain chips. Brilliant mind."

"Does that mean that if she wanted to see us as inferior and worldly beings, she could do so on a basis?"

"Basically, yes," she let out a laugh, "But she doesn't thank god. She's always been a very kind and very sweet person."

"I just hope she doesn't give us caviar to eat, I'd throw up."

Jihyo burst out laughing and pulled you back with her, you fell back between her legs.

You two tried to sleep a little more, but the hustle and bustle that Sana had warned you about minutes ago began to make itself felt within an hour. You had no choice but to go out and watch as the staff that Sana had hired continually left and entered the house, while they decorated and prepared everything for later.

At around 12 noon Sana called you from the lower floor.

"Guys, come down to lunch!" she said out loud.

You were exploring the upper floor a bit, so you heard her easily. You went down. In the kitchen there were already a couple of men in chef's outfits filling the cupboards and putting things into the refrigerator, while preparing a wide variety of foods on the long counter.

"Order whatever you want, they will be happy to prepare it," Sana said from one of the stools to the left of the bar.

"Whatever we wanted?" Jihyo asked, while you bowed politely to the cooks.

"Aha, don't be shy," she insisted.

You and Jihyo were simple minds. You didn't have the slightest idea about rigorously prepared dishes or anything like that, so you just asked the cooks to prepare pasta with chicken and cream. They looked at you as if asking if you were born stupid. All you did was shrug your shoulders.

"Gosh, the house is looking amazing," Jihyo said as she watched the lines of warm light bulbs running from beam to beam.

"Wait until you see the icing on the cake, then," Sana replied, then turned to one of the men perched on a ladder, "Dear, further to the left. That line can't be that close to the corner."

You, sitting in one of the chairs at the dining table, also turned around. She was giving instructions to the man on how to arrange the lights. You focused your attention now on the cooks, who were already finishing preparing the pasta. It looked so amazing it made your mouth water.

"And what are you talking about?" Jihyo asked.

"Myself, of course," she replied matter-of-factly, "As a good hostess I must look beautiful for my guests, dear."

"I don't think that's too difficult, Minatozaki."

"I can always be more beautiful. Don't question me about it."

A couple of minutes passed until the cooks brought the pasta dishes to you. The accompaniment was croutons with tartar sauce and grape juice. You weren't impressed with how delicious it was, as you expected that. Still you devoured every part of your meal as if it were your last. Jihyo tried to be more subtle than you and not look like a savage in front of Sana, but finally her palate worked against her and she ended up looking just like you. Sana had ordered her own dish: grilled salmon with rice and asparagus. In comparison to you, she looked like a royal while she ate.

"So, how was it?" She asked, looking at your empty plates.

"I genuinely haven't had a meal this good in months," Jihyo said, wiping her mouth with a napkin.

"I agree with her," you nodded, sinking into the seat to rest.

"I'm glad you enjoyed it," Sana smiled, "I recommend that you rest and start getting ready. The party will start at 6, and the guests start arriving at 5."

"Four hours, more than enough, right?" Jihyo turned to look at you.

"I think so. I can be ready in less than half an hour," you shrugged.

"Then let's go, Mr. Speedy."

Jihyo stood up, wiped some breadcrumbs off her pants, and patted your shoulder as she passed you. You stood up, gave Sana a shy little smile, and followed Jihyo up the stairs.

The decision of who bathed first was not too complicated. You would shower faster than Jihyo in absolutely any situation, so you were the first to undress in the other's eyes. You tried to pretend that she wasn't watching you and that she wasn't there as the water ran down your naked body, but of course this task proved impossible. You did a few dumb things in the middle of your shower, and with each one you heard Jihyo's mocking giggle in the background.

When you finished showering and turned off the faucet, you grabbed one of the hanging towels and dried yourself as best as possible before walking towards the bed. Jihyo smiled, with her eyes still on you, she stood up and gave you a kiss on the cheek before going to the shower. Out of the corner of your eye you watched as she slowly undressed, hoping to draw your attention to her. But you wanted to be better than her in that sense and tried to ignore her.

You took off the towel with the intention of starting to get dressed, but inevitably your eyes ended up on Jihyo's naked and wet body. The gym worked wonders. Every part of her body was perfectly defined, from her incredibly sexy back to her firm buttocks. That, together with the side profile of her tits and her sensual abdomen, were too much for you. You sat on the edge of the bed with your eyes on her, and taking advantage of the fact that her back was turned, you began to touch yourself.

Your cock became hard in a matter of mere seconds. You rubbed it slowly from up and down, attentive to how Jihyo filled every corner of her body with soap. At one point she bent over because she had dropped the soap—perhaps on purpose—, and when she did so you got a perfect view of her plump pussy for a few seconds. You let yourself go and closed your eyes, moving your hand faster. What you didn't know was that she had seen you over her shoulder at that exact moment, and seconds later she turned off the shower.

When you heard the water stop falling you quickly opened your eyes and stopped as if it hadn't happened at all. You tried to stand up and this time start getting dressed, but Jihyo stopped you short.

"Nuh-uh! Stay there," she said from the bathroom as she dried herself.

You cursed inwardly and sat there, your cheeks red with embarrassment. When Jihyo was completely dry she tossed the towel aside and started walking towards you. Your eyes went to her tits and down her abdomen until they reached her pussy. She stood in front of you and between your legs, she grabbed your chin and made you look up.

"Enjoying the view huh?" she asked, eyebrows raised and her tongue pressing against the inside of her cheek.

She brought one knee up into the space of the mattress between your legs and rubbed it against the back of your cock, which throbbed at her touch. You rested your hands behind you and leaned back a little to look into her eyes. Her knee started rubbing up and down. That alone managed to cause a drop of precum to spill out.

"My needy little boy..." she rested her hands on your thighs and leaned in to kiss you, "How adorable."

You shared a slow, sensual kiss for a few seconds until she pulled away from you to bring her hand to your mouth.

"Come on, spit on it," she ordered, still touching you with her knee.

You complied immediately, releasing a thick spit into Jihyo's hand. She brought that hand directly to your cock in a firm grip, and then started rubbing it like you had been doing a few minutes ago. She kissed you again, also using her knee to rub your balls. And you moaned against her lips as she jerked you off.

It wasn't long before she pushed you back against the bed and urged you to settle into it. You got into bed and rested your head on the pillow. Jihyo climbed in as well and straddled you, both thighs gripping either side of your hips. She wasted no time and impaled herself on you. Every inch of your cock now gone inside her warm, wet pussy.

Jihyo slumped forward and cradled your face in her hands to kiss you again. Her hips began to move up and down. She did it slowly, maybe too slow at first, but she did it so that you felt your cock go completely in and out of her with each movement. As the seconds passed she pushed herself harder, and then she started moving her hips faster.

You saw yourselves wrapped in that tangle of desire and lust that kept you isolated from anything that was happening around you. Of course this didn't mean anything good, because you didn't notice when Sana entered. She caught your attention with a throat clearing. Your heart skipped a beat.

Jihyo quickly jumped off you and fell to the side. She then grabbed the blankets and pulled them over you two, even pulling the sheets out from under the edges of the mattress. Your eyes were wide, but you didn't have the balls to dare look Sana in the eyes for even a second. Instead, you looked at the ceiling and pretended to be invisible.

"I'm sorry," she said with a giggle, "I'd love to let you finish, but now I do need your help with a vitally important matter."

"How long have you been staring, Minatozaki?!" Jihyo exclaimed, the blanket covering her up to the top of her breasts.

"Since you rode his cock. I don't want to ask who the fool was that left the door ajar."

You didn't hide it by looking at Jihyo with 'are you kidding me' eyes? Her cheeks turned red, and she avoided the two of you's gaze. She was better at handling embarrassment than you, so she just let out a nervous laugh.

"I'll be out in the hallway if you want to, you know, finish what you were doing."

She gave you a green light signal and left through the door, which this time was properly closed. Clearly neither you nor Jihyo could finish what you were doing, you had already lost inspiration completely and you were no longer hard. It's not like you care either. Your heads were clouded with shame for having been discovered by the owner of the house while you were fucking in one of the guest rooms.

You didn't put on your outfits yet, instead you put on comfortable clothes to go help Sana with whatever she needed your help. You found her in the hallway so calm, supervising the progress of the decoration on the floor below through the glass.

"Ready?" Sana looked you up and down with a mischievous smile, "Come with me, please."

You were guided to her room, which was significantly larger than yours as it was the master bedroom. The big centerpiece was the wide balcony on the left, right in front of the bed. On it the view of the sea was amplified in both directions, giving a beautiful perspective of the landscape. The balcony, bounded by the glass fence, extended further to the right, but you couldn't see what was on that side since it was hidden behind the room wall. To the right of the room was a small shaggy rug under a wide nightstand made of marble; next was the king size bed filled with pillows and cushions. And further ahead, at the back of the room, a mini living room with a sofa bed on the left, a rectangular table in the middle and on the right one of those chairs that were used in psychology offices. She also had a projector screen on the wall, with a small artificial fireplace underneath.

"Sit down, please," Sana said, pointing towards the bed.

She walked to the side of the room and pressed a button to lower a hatch that formed a wall and covered the balcony. Now you were under the artificial light of the room. You two sat on the lower edge of the bed as if you were two siblings about to receive a scolding from their mother; of course this was not the case, but the level of behavior you carried was worthy of. You were still looking at anything but Sana, but Jihyo did make an effort to try and pretend like nothing had happened.

After closing the balcony, Sana went through a door that was before the mini living room; you thought it was the bathroom, but she came out of there with like four dresses hanging on hooks in her hands. You came to the conclusion that the room was simply much larger than it seemed on its own.

"Very well, you are going to tell me what you think about each one," Sana said with a big smile on her face.

She began to show the dresses one by one, turning them around and putting them in front of her body. As expected, Jihyo, for the simple fact of being a woman, gave much more elaborate opinions than yours, which were only based on: 'I like this color more than this one' or 'I don't know, I feel like this one is more with the occasion'. What you didn't expect was that Sana would have a solution for your lack of eloquence.

"Mmm, I think I'd better try them on," she said, and she began to undress before the disbelieving eyes of you and Jihyo.

The first thing that fell to the ground was her jacket; underneath she was wearing nothing more than a gray bra that gave a slight push up to her more than generous tits. Her jacket was followed by her pants, which, being high-waisted, revealed everything you couldn't see from the breasts down. It was a perfect body in absolutely every way: nice and slightly toned abdomen, lethal hips, a pair of slender legs and an ass that could do wonders with. The panties she was wearing were the same color as the bra, and to give you a little show, she pulled them up just to highlight the shape of her buttocks even more.

She began trying on the dresses one by one; again, Jihyo was acting more normal than you, but you still did your best to formulate good opinions without making your mouth water. Finally, she opted for a semi-transparent red dress, with a long skirt at the back and an inverted V shape at the front.

Sana, being half naked again, approached you, and with each hand on one of your thighs she gave you both a kiss on the cheek. You were paralyzed by the kiss, your cheeks burning. Jihyo on the other hand looked at her with suggestive eyes, not hiding the fact that she was eating her out with the gaze.

"Thanks for the help, cuties," she said between you.

"Anytime, beautiful," Jihyo replied in a lower voice.

Sana gave each of your thighs a light squeeze and stood up straight.

"Feel free to go get ready. I have things to do myself," she nodded toward the door.

You diligently stood up and left Sana's room, heading towards yours. When you arrived you did finish what you had started in the first place—making sure that the door was firmly closed—, and when you finished you began to get dressed. Your choice of outfit was a headache; Jihyo helped you in any way she could while she put on her makeup, but your insecurity and indecision only slowed you down. It took you a little over an hour to finally make a decision: high-heeled black leather boots, black semi-skinny jeans, and an open black shirt with a white tropical print on top of a white t-shirt.

"Damn, you look gorgeous!" Jihyo told you as she adjusted her rose-shaped earrings.

"Not as good as you but thank you," you sighed, looking at yourself in the mirror next to her.

"Oh hell nah," she grabbed your face and made you look at her, "You look amazing, and I need you to feel amazing for the party."

"You know I'm not one of those, Jihyo."

"I'm not asking you to be. I just want you to feel good about yourself."

She shook your head a little and leaned up to give you a peck on the nose.

"Believe me, darling. You look very handsome and you will have nothing to envy of anyone," she remarked, looking into your eyes.

Your only possible response was to hug her; Hold her so tightly in your arms that just that was enough for her to know how grateful you were. You separated after a few seconds, and gave her a kiss on her forehead.

"Thank you, really," you smiled weakly, "Come on, keep getting ready, it's almost time."

Another half hour passed until Jihyo was completely ready. She gave you a little modeling show, which made you laugh a few times since she was really trying to be funny. The truth was that she looked beautiful; a sleeveless white top with red flowers on it, white flared pants with slits on the sides of the thighs, and white sneakers.

When you were both ready, you went down to the first floor, where the DJ that Sana had hired had already played some house music to relax while the guests arrived. The music was coming from the other side of the open space, from the pool. You could only see the mixing console and the massive speakers installed on each side. You looked around and admired the details of the decoration; from the lines of beach ball-shaped lamps to the lines of warm light bulbs. As icing on the cake, just as she had predicted, Sana was sitting on a sofa in the inner yard; on top of one of the squares in front of her, a bucket filled with ice with what appeared to be two bottles of champagne inside it.

She looked stunning. She was dressed in the dress that you had helped her choose and sandals with straps that went around her calves to below the knee; this, however, was not her main attraction, but rather the red flower attached to the side of her head which made her pretty crimson lips stand out.

"Look who we have here!" She exclaimed, crossing her legs, "Wow, you really wanted to compete with me, huh? You both look incredible."

"You didn't think we were going to make it easy for you, did you?" Jihyo asked, walking past you towards her.

"I said you wanted to compete with me. Not that you were going to win," Sana looked at you and winked, "Toast me, please."

She invited you to sit with her. You sat on her side, and Jihyo sat in the empty square in front of you. With a wave of her hand came a girl in a suit, who reached into the ice bucket and pulled out one of the champagne bottles to open it; as she did so she picked up three fluted glasses and poured the golden liquid into them. Sana thanked her with a smile and handed you the glasses. She raised hers.

"To the start of a wonderful night," Sana toasted, and the two of you clinked your glass against hers.

You had never been particularly a fan of champagne, but when you took the first sip from your glass you couldn't help but take the second almost immediately. It was delicious. Jihyo as well as Sana drank just a sip.

"Oh, it's about time people started arriving, isn't it?" Jihyo asked, looking at her phone.

"Aha," Sana nodded, looking towards the entrance hall, "There's security outside, so they'll come in any minute."

Just as Sana had said, within a few minutes people began to arrive. Luckily for you, there were a few familiar faces, like Nayeon or Han, or a few people you frequented in the university hallways. But the vast majority were strangers to you, and having each one come up to greet Sana for being the hostess didn't help your social anxiety. None seemed too relevant to her, except for a few people she introduced you to. They were three girls and one guy: Kim Minji, Chou Tzuyu, Lee Gahyeon and Kim Yugyeom. All of them, including Nayeon and Han, would be part of the group that the three of you would stay with for the rest of the night.

After the arrival time there were around three dozen people in the house, not counting those who were going to arrive late. There were a lot of people, and soon the bustle began to get louder. Sana stood up and left you with the others to go to the stairs, climb a couple of steps and signal to the staff to turn down the music. Everyone turned to look at her. She cleared her throat to raise her voice.

"First of all, welcome and thank you all for coming tonight. I know that many, if not all, of you had to fly from Seoul just to attend this eventuality. I apologize for that, but," she raised a finger, "As compensation you should know that the bar is completely free tonight, so you can drink as much as you want!"

Everyone erupted in cheers, but Sana raised her hands again to attract attention.

"Oh, I almost forgot. The pool is available to whoever wants to enjoy it. Just keep it clean or no one will leave here until it's cleaned..." she made a small silence, looking into the eyes of everyone she could so they knew she was serious, "Enjoy the party!"

At the end of Sana's speech the music returned, this time to its highest point. Now the walls and floor were reverberating with the sound of the techno house that the DJ was playing. You recognized the first song: Losing It by FISHER. The lights went out to make way for the illumination provided by the decorations, and soon the party came alive on its own.

Small groups of people began to form around the bar, where two bartenders worked together to comply with every order they received. They were accompanied by a security man who made sure that people were orderly and nothing got out of control. Sana being the hostess was able to make her way through the people and order a drink for herself first, then she got one for you and Jihyo. All three were piña coladas. Nayeon and Yugyeom insisted for her to get them one too, but Sana sent them to stand in line like everyone else.

"Let's go take a seat on the couch before someone comes," Jihyo hurried you and Sana.

The three of you went to the living 'room'. The big white couch there was semi-square shaped, with the left side longer than the other. You skirted it on the left; you settled near the end, Jihyo next to you and Sana diagonally to the two of you. From there the smell of food was stronger; in the kitchen the two cooks were already beginning to prepare the appetizers that would later be distributed among the crowd.

"Are they making bacon?" you asked, trying to see what they were doing.

"I don't know, probably. Why, are you hungry already?" Sana asked with an amused expression.

She took a sip of her piña colada and stirred it with the straw.

"Oh yeah, he's as shy as he is gluttonous," Jihyo said.

You looked at her with a grimace and raised an eyebrow.

"Don't you love bacon too?" you asked, trying to defend yourself.

"I love it. He has a point there," Sana said.

Jihyo took a sip of her drink and looked at you.

"Of course I love it. But that doesn't mean that you could eat an entire Burger King menu by yourself if you set your mind to it."

Before you could formulate a defense, Sana's other friends began to arrive one by one. Nayeon and Han settled to the right of her; they were followed by Tzuyu, Yugyeom, Minji, and Gahyeon, who was facing you at the other end of the couch. Immediately the conversation flowed between all of them. It was obvious that everyone had known each other for a long time, a well-established group of friends. And how could it be otherwise, you soon felt out of place since you didn't have much, or rather nothing, to contribute to the conversations. That's where Jihyo and Han came in, who, having already known you before, did everything possible to include you and not make you feel like a zero to the left. You appreciated that, a lot.

"Hey hey, it's time to play something don't you think?" Yugyeom said, leaning forward, "I want an excuse to get drunk."

Han turned to look at him.

"And what do you want to play? Beach volleyball?"

"I'm not drunk enough for that. I have never ever."

The rest of you turned your heads in interest towards Yugyeom, who was smiling mischievously.

"Oh now I have your attention right?" He laughed, "Who wants to start?"

Everyone looked at each other for a few seconds, finally it was Jihyo who raised her hand.

"I'll start, but let's start gently, please."

"But that's boring!" Yugyeom protested.

Jihyo looked at him like she wanted to throw a cushion at him.

"Innocent questions are the easiest to make people drink quickly, you airhead," she looked away, "Aha. I've never ever cut my hair and I've regretted it."

An easy question indeed. The only ones who didn't drink were you, Jihyo, Tzuyu and Sana.

In order, the next one was Sana, who changed the leg that she had crossed and licked her lips.

"I have never ever cried watching a movie or reading a book."

You all drink. Then Jihyo looks at Yugyeom.

"I told you they were the easiest, idiot."

"Shut your mouth Park."

Next was Nayeon, who waved her hand for Jihyo and Yugyeom to shut up.

"I have never ever had doubts about my sexual orientation."

Tzuyu raised both eyebrows and looked at her.

"Wah! I thought you said innocent questions at first."

"That's innocent. I'm not implying anything, honey."

You, Minji, and Han didn't drink. You weren't surprised coming from Jihyo considering her recent history, but you were surprised by Sana, who Jihyo leaned over to talk to. You were close enough to hear her.

"That's nice. It would have been a real shame if you didn't bat the other way too."

Sana looked into her eyes with a sly smile.

"It's fun to eat all kinds of things, isn't it?"

The suggestive tone in her voice was accompanied by a small staring competition between the two of them. They were forced to break eye contact when Tzuyu raised her voice with a slightly more awkward question.

"I have never ever used drugs."

Obviously you don't drink. Sana, Minji and Han didn't either. As Jihyo drank you looked at her with a frown, she could only laugh.

"Honey, in law school you need to relieve stress with a joint once in a while."

"Well, how ironic."

"I know right?"

You and her laughed and then looked at the next person, Minji.

"I have never ever received a slap in public."

Neither you nor the rest of the girls drink. Only Yugyeom and Han did it. Gahyeon laughed.

"You are men. That makes a lot of sense."

You all burst into laughter, even Han. But Yugyeom didn't seem to be so amused. He looked at you and pointed with his arm outstretched.

"He's also a man, why don't you make fun of him too?"

You looked at him and shrugged, not giving a damn. Nayeon immediately came to your defense.

"I attest that there is no guy more calm and quiet than him. Who could slap him in public?"

You looked at Nayeon and said 'thank you' with your lips. She just winked at you and gave you a thumbs up. Yugyeom rolled his eyes and shook his head. The next one was Gahyeon, who raised the tone of the questions.

"I've never received a lap dance."

You all drink. Yugyeom almost choked while he did so as he let out a laugh. He didn't look at you, but you knew he was talking about you.

"I certainly didn't expect anyone to ever give him a lap dance. I don't think he knows how to ask for one."

Absolutely no one laughed. The only one who laughed but more out of pity was Tzuyu. Gahyeon made a confused expression as she looked at you and then at him.

"He's pretty cute, so I'd do it anyway. I couldn't say the same about you."

The general reaction was to raise eyebrows and look at Yugyeom's humiliated face. He didn't say anything, he just took out his phone and looked at it to get out of the situation. Then Jihyo broke the awkward silence to liven things up.

"Well, come on, do it," she nodded at you, "He needs to warm up. He's had too little to drink."

Sana turned to look at you with an expectant smile. She took a sip of her drink, which was close to finishing. She then turned to look at Gahyeon, who stood up without hesitation and walked around the coffee table in front of you from the left until she was standing in front of you. She leaned in to speak in your ear.

"First of all, are you okay with this? I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable or something."

Her sudden closeness made your heart faster. Normally you would have stuttered out of nervousness, but this time you took a deep breath so as not to make a fool of yourself. You turned your head to meet her face inches away.

"Don't worry. You go ahead," you nodded.

Gahyeon smiled and also nodded her head. She waited a few seconds for the current song to end and another to start. Slow it Down by Ty Dolla Sign blasted through the speakers. Gahyeon stood up and turned around, and before the eyes of everyone present, she supported herself on your knees with her hands and sat right on top of your crotch. Now you just watched her pretty, long red hair fall down her back as she pressed against your bulge and moved to the rhythm of the music.

You didn't know what the hell to do with your hands or where to put your eyes. She had an incredible ass, more than could be seen above her gray striped white dress. That was where your eyes stayed stationary for a few long seconds. Her wide hips moved back and forth, doing an expert job that led you to finally put your hands on them.

You knew you had a lot of eyes on you, and that's why you didn't dare move your gaze from Gahyeon. If you had, you could have made eye contact with Sana or Jihyo, or worse, with one of the others. That would have made you nervous and made it look awkward. Luckily, and also unfortunately for you, Gahyeon didn't let the song end to stop.

The lap dance had been brief, but it was enough to leave you hard as a rock and breathing heavily. Gahyeon didn't stand up yet, she leaned back still sitting on top of you and pressed her back against your chest to get closer to your ear.

"If I keep going I’m gonna get too horny, cutie, I'm sorry. But if you want some private fun just look at me and give me a sign."

Gahyeon gave you a kiss on the cheek, stood up, straightened her hair and walked back to her seat as if nothing had happened. She had a proud little smirk on her face, and you were left with her offer running over and over in your head.

You continued avoiding glances. You were hard under your pants, and even though no one was going to see anything due to the lack of light, you tried to hide it as much as possible. But Jihyo knew you and she knew your body language. She leaned closer to your other ear with a little smile.

"That ass has to move great huh?"

She giggled mischievously and patted your thigh a few times. Then you both directed glances towards Yugyeom as he took his turn.

"I've never ever had to hide a hickey."

You all drink. The round passes without further complications. The next turn was Han.

"I've never fucked someone twice my age."

You all looked at each other in a mix between expectation and hope that no one would drink, but finally only Yugyeom and Tzuyu drank. Once again you all laughed. Sana leaned forward and looked at them both.

"Come on, tell me how that happened," she managed to say between laughs.

Tzuyu takes it much more naturally than Yugyeom, who seemed almost embarrassed but not remorseful. Tzuyu looked at Sana.

"Well, old perverts sometimes drop a lot of money when they're desperate," she shrugged.

Sana nodded slowly in understanding.

"Darling, I can get you a job as a model at any brand you want. Don't indulge those disgusting old men."

Tzuyu's face lit up. Beside her, Nayeon looked as surprised as you.

"Huh? Are you serious?"

"Aha. My father has a lot of contacts in that industry. I'll call you tomorrow, promise."

Sana winked at the smiling Tzuyu. Then she looked at Yugyeom and tilted her head, waiting patiently for his explanation.

"Damn, I'm not going to give details; I'm just going to say that I had to finance my vacation to the Maldives somehow."

With his answer he now gave way to the next turn, and that was you. You didn't know what the fuck to say, you had to look at Jihyo for help. She leaned close to your ear to tell you what you were going to say. It was a trick directed against you too, but you had no choice but to repeat it.

"I've never ever had a threesome."

You all drink, except Sana. You all looked at her like 'you're kidding, right?' But no one dared to question her except for Jihyo, who looked at her with a frown.

"You're just lying, right?"

"Why would I lie?" Sana raised an eyebrow, "No, I've never had the chance. But a first time wouldn't be bad..."

As she said that she looked at the two of you and bit her lip in such a sexy way that you couldn't help but look at her up and down, thinking of the thousand and one ways you would love to...

You were beating around the bush once again. What brought you out of your trance was the realization that your glass was already empty. And not just yours, but everyone else's too. Sana had to call a couple of workers to bring drinks for everyone. This time you ordered a Negroni, Jihyo ordered a Gin Tonic, and Sana ordered a Moscow Mule. You didn't even know what the hell that last one was.

The whole cycle came back to the very beginning, to Jihyo, who first took a sip of her drink before saying anything.

"I have never ever had sex more than five times in a single night."

It was a pretty bold question, in fact, Nayeon looked at Jihyo with a frown since it was obvious that no one was going to drink. But to your surprise, Yugyeom and Tzuyu drank. Nayeon turned to them and raised her eyebrows in an expression that made you all laugh.

"Mother of a fucking god, how do you have that energy? I do it once and I already feel like I'll be taken by the grim reaper."

"With two minutes I'm already out of soul," Han intervened out of nowhere.

The laughter only expanded and multiplied, even Yugyeom and Tzuyu, the victims of the joke, laughed.

You weren't so amused when Sana's turn came and she went straight for your neck.

"I have never ever been caught while fucking."

The question fell like a bucket of cold water on your and Jihyo's heads. You both avoided Sana's gaze, it still made you deeply ashamed. But you knew she had a proud smirk on her face, and that she didn't regret saying it in the least.

You and Jihyo drink with your face hot from blushing. Nayeon and Han also drink without commenting at all. The rest don't drink, of course Sana doesn't either.

"We'll complete this round and be done with it, okay?"

You all nodded, at that point it was being more than enough, since the alcohol was making more than one of you tipsy.

Next was Nayeon, who asked a question exclusively dedicated to women.

"I have never ever used a common object as a dildo."

The only ones who drink are Gahyeon, Minji and Tzuyu. They thought they were safe from questions, but Nayeon was an expert at asking awkward questions.

"What did you use? You don't have to explain."

The three looked at each other, none daring to speak first. It was Gahyeon who had to sacrifice herself and step forward.

"A cucumber with a condom."

"I mean, that sounds fun not gonna lie. You two?"

Nayeon looked at Tzuyu and Minji, it was the latter who spoke.

"The handle of a hairbrush."

Minji immediately covered her face to fight her embarrassment. Nayeon laughed.

"Damn girl, how desperate were you?" She didn't wait for answers, she just looked at Tzuyu, "And what about you?"

Tzuyu took a few long seconds to respond.

"A pearl necklace. I won't explain."

"You don't have to do it either, but for that just buy some anal sockets girl."

The next turn was Tzuyu's, who quickly spoke to change the topic.

"I have never ever masturbated in public."

She, Yugyeom and Gahyeon drink. Now it was Minji's turn.

"I have never ever exposed myself on webcam."

Saying that she turned to look in a very undisguised way at her friend, Gahyeon. Who just shrugged.

"What can I tell you, being a webcam model is easy money when you have a hot body," she said before drinking, but now it was her turn, "I have never ever slept with anyone in this group."

You, Jihyo, Nayeon, Han, Yugyeom and Tzuyu drink. At that moment you exchanged glances with Gahyeon, who raised an eyebrow in anticipation of some sign from you. She wanted it, but you were still full of doubts. You felt pathetic having to ask Jihyo for help once again, but she was the closest thing you had to a Jiminy Cricket. After explaining her situation to her, she didn't seem surprised, she just gently took your arm and spoke in your ear.

"Honey, enjoy the night as much and as you want. Do you want it?"

"Fuck, of course I want it. It's just that... you know, I'm afraid of making a fool of myself."

"Balto, you'd be surprised how really good you fuck. Now, don't be a whiner and get your claws out."

She tapped your shoulder with her fist and you looked at Gahyeon for a few long seconds as she spoke to Minji. You didn't do anything yet, but you had already made the decision in your head.

Next was Yugyeom. His question was extremely timely.

"I have never ever imagined anyone in this group naked."

Absolutely all of you drink, but you do it while looking at Gahyeon, who was also looking at you.

Next was Han.

"I have never ever recorded myself having sex."

No one except Gahyeon and Tzuyu drinks. Gahyeon kept looking at you, this time as she crossed her legs and leaned to the side just so you could see the width of her hips and the size of her ass. You couldn't take it much longer. You made the damn sign, and she smiled. You stood up.

"Guys, I have to go to the bathroom, I'll be right back."

You exchange a glance with Jihyo, who winks at you, and then you leave the living room. You made your way through the people as fast as you could, only one possible destination in your head: the bathroom on the upper floor, the one you knew no one was going to use since there were two more downstairs. You trotted up the steps, and hurried into the bathroom before anyone else decided to do so.

It was a long bathroom, wide enough to walk freely in it. It was funny to imagine yourself as a guy in the waiting room for a porn audition, who would say that at that moment you were almost guessing the future. You leaned your lower back against the sink on the left, so big that it looked like a whole dresser on its own. You crossed your arms and waited.

Gahyeon took longer than you expected, but she arrived after five minutes with a couple of knocks on the door. As soon as you opened the door she rushed in and closed it behind her.

"God, I'm sorry. I had to make a fool of Yugyeom again," she laughed.

"Did he say something stupid again?"

"Everything he says is stupid. But that's not what's important now."

She took a step forward and stood in front of you. You stared into each other's eyes for a few long seconds as she closed the distance, until finally your faces were inches apart. From that distance her absurdly attractive parted lips looked irresistible to you. You couldn't help but let yourself go and grab her face to kiss her.

Her lips were not only amazing, they felt amazing too. They didn't feel like any pair you had kissed before, these were like two delicious gummies because of how soft they were. As if that weren't enough, she was an excellent kisser.

She left her phone on the sink and wrapped her arms around your neck. One hand rested on your left shoulder, and the other on the back of your neck to caress the hair there. You deepened the kiss, now she invited you to swirl your tongues in an intense exchange of saliva and gasps. At that moment you remembered what Jihyo had told you: 'Get your claws out.'

Putting any possible shyness aside, you brought your hands directly to Gahyeon's ass and squeezed each of her buttocks tightly. She didn't bother to hide her surprise.

"Mmm, you're not as calm as you seem huh?" she murmured against your lips, "Grab as much as you want, go on."

She crashed into your lips again, and you scrunched up her dress on either side of her hips to slowly hike it up until it was swirling around her waist. You left her nice round butt exposed; you wasted no time in squeezing it again, this time feeling the milky soft skin against your fingertips. The flesh of her ass felt tender, perfect for spanking a few times to make her moan against your lips.

Gahyeon didn't leave her hands still up for long. She reached down to grab your cock over your pants. You were hard from before, she just had to squeeze it a little and start massaging it gently with her small hand. In a matter of seconds she had already unbuttoned your pants and unzipped you; then she put her hand in your boxers to pull out your cock and rub it slowly. You gasped and brought your hand between her buttocks, using your two fingers to rub her slit over her panties.

"Before I feast on your cock... can I make a request of you?"

"Hm?"

Gahyeon took the phone from the sink and pressed it against your chest for you to pick up. Then she fell to her knees in front of your cock.

"Make sure you record everything. And when I say everything, that's everything. But don't turn on the flash, I don't want to go blind."

It really was something you didn't care about at all. You didn't know what she was going to do with that video, but you were okay with at least not showing your face. She unlocked her phone for you and you accessed the camera, held it vertically and started recording.

The first thing Gahyeon did was lower your pants and boxers to her ankles, then she gave you a wonderful first contact with your cock; she pressed her beautiful lips against the back of it and filled it with wet kisses. She also kissed the sides of your shaft, and then used her tongue to give you a long lick all the way to the tip, where she didn't hesitate to grip her lips around.

She took half of your cock in one smooth motion, making you moan as you watched her through the screen. Her head began to move back and forth, slowly so that you could feel how satisfying her lips were there too. She wasn't just seeing your panting face as she slurped on your shaft, you felt like she was also seeing through your soul.

Gahyeon's hand went to your balls to squeeze them into a soft bunch and then left it gripping around your base. You lost eye contact as she focused on taking a couple more inches into her mouth and increasing the pace considerably. You lowered the phone to now record from the side and capture every detail of the lewd act, trying to comply with her request in the best way possible.

She pumped her head faster, filling your cock with saliva in an amazing messy blowjob. Completely ignoring the camera she looked up to meet your eyes again. What she was looking for was to know if she was doing it in a way that you liked; she found your mouth half open and your brow furrowed in pleasure. More than positive confirmation.

"Mmm, you look even cuter getting your cock sucked," she said as she pulled you out of her mouth, now sucking on your balls as she stroked you with her hand.

After a few seconds she dove back into your cock. She threw aside any sense of restraint and simply began devouring your cock with frantic pumps. After a few seconds she removed her hand from around your base and brought her lips further; her nose rested against your pelvis, and feeling your tip rub against her throat made you moan louder. You returned to the initial recording angle, and she looked directly into the camera as she made gagging sounds against your cock.

She pulled you out with a sharp intake of breath, then brought her hand back to your cock to jerk it off.

"Do you have condoms? I left my handbag downstairs."

"Y-yeah, my wallet is in my pants pocket."

Gahyeon reached into your pants pocket and pulled it out. She rummaged through the sections of it, until she finally pulled out a condom.

"Do you want to see a magic trick?"

She didn't give you time to respond. She quickly opened the envelope, took out the condom and held it between her lips; then she took your cock with her hand and put it on you using her mouth. You captured everything up close on camera, and it was probably one of the hottest things you've ever seen. With the condom already on your cock Gahyeon stood up.

"Go ahead, fuck me however you want baby," she said over your lips, then gave you a small kiss.

You stepped away from the sink, and used your only available hand to grab her arm and bend her against the edge. Her face was inches from the mirror, floating above the faucet. Her dress had fallen down again, it was up to you to pull it back up and around her waist again. With her ass exposed again she lifted it up as high as possible, making it twice as attractive for you to grope and squeeze.

She looked at you over her shoulder with her lips panting. She moved her ass from side to side, and you slapped your cock several times against each of her butt cheeks while looking into her eyes. You soon stopped your foreplay and grabbed the hem of her white lace panties to pull them down to her knees in one fell swoop. You shifted the phone to your left, now using your right to reach between her thighs and rub her slit up and down. Her pussy was more than ready for you, it felt extremely wet and soft. You took your cock in your hand, rubbed it a few times between her folds and took it inside her.

"Mmm! Wait wait!" she sputtered, "Slow... it feels so fucking big, god."

Through the mirror you saw her face twisted in a mixture of pain and pleasure; you didn't want to hurt her in any way, so you were as careful as possible as your cock slowly worked its way into her. When you were impaled deep inside that hot silky pussy, you rested for a few long seconds. Gahyeon didn't say anything, her face was paralyzed by the sensation of being completely stretched. It wasn't until a few seconds later that you saw fit to start moving.

You brought your only available hand to her waist, clinging there as you slowly pumped back and forth. Your cock went in and out completely without much difficulty; it disappeared between her buttocks in an almost hypnotic way, which led you to squeeze her left buttock and spread it, just to get a better shot of how her pussy was being fucked faster every second.

"That's it... give me more baby, fuck that hot pussy good," she moaned, watching you through the mirror and the camera.

In response you raised your hand and gave her a spank on the buttock that you had squeezed seconds ago. You caused her to squeal, and also to voluntarily lift one of her thighs to rest on the edge of the sink. You returned your hand to her waist, letting your fingers tightly grip on the soft flesh there. You moaned out loud, increasing the pace to now give strong and constant thrusts to her pussy.

"Oh fuck yeah!" Gahyeon whimpered, holding on to the faucet with both hands, "Fuck fuck fuck fuck!"

She dropped her head between her shoulders, letting herself be carried away by the pleasure your strong thrusts gave her. Above the muffled music that was playing outside, the sound of Gahyeon's buttocks being slammed again and again by your pelvis. You gave her butt cheek another spank, her skin now marked in a dull red. And speaking of red, her long hair, held behind her head by a clip, looked too cute hanging down her back not to pull on it.

"W-when you're going to cum… take off the condom and paint my face!" she screeched, seeing you again.

"I got you."

You grabbed a handful of her hair in your hand and pulled it back. Her pussy clenched around your cock; her moans were interspersed with screams and grunts, and you couldn't do anything but fuck her with everything you had.

Her body bounced back and forth violently, at one point you were even afraid that she would hit her forehead on the mirror, but that's why you kept her face away by pulling her hair back; you didn't pull it too hard for fear of going overboard, however it was more than enough for Gahyeon to reach her orgasm.

"Yessss!!! Mmmm!! Don't fucking stop!!"

In her desperation to look for something to hold on to, she unintentionally turned on the faucet water, something that would have made you laugh if it weren't for the fact that you yourself were close to your orgasm. You grunted in pleasure and let go of Gahyeon's hair to give her another spank, fucking her mercilessly through her ecstasy. You hadn't looked at the phone screen for a while, when you did you realized that the shot was a little crooked and that you weren't capturing everything in its maximum splendor; to correct it, you changed the phone from your hand once again and lowered it, recording again from the side to capture in close-up how your cock hammered her pussy.

After a few seconds you felt the tingling, and in one quick movement you left Gahyeon's pussy to remove the condom as quickly as you could; in that period of time she had already lowered her thigh from the edge of the sink and had turned to fall on her knees to the floor in front of your cock.

You stroked your cock as fast as you could, moaning loudly as you recorded a perfect shot of Gahyeon's face as she closed her eyes and left her face as a canvas for you. As you reached your peak you let out a louder moan, while thick jets of semen came out of your cock and landed on Gahyeon's beautiful face; soon it was covered in a thick layer of white, she had to wipe her eyelids with her fingers to open her eyes, then she looked at you and smiled at the camera. You couldn't help but blush.

"You liked it huh? You came a lot..."

She took your cock with her hand and started rubbing it all over her face, collecting as much cum as she could with it and then putting it in her mouth and cleaning it. It was one of the hottest things you could ever see in your life; you had to make a great effort not to faint right there. She repeated that process a couple of times, until finally both your cock and her face were 'clean'.

"That's it, cut."

You stopped the recording diligently. Then she stood up, pulled up her panties, and pulled her dress back down. She took the phone from your hand and placed a warm kiss on your cheek.

"Thanks cutie. You're a great fuck," she said with a little smile.

"I can say the same about you. And hey, thanks to you. Uh… You didn't do it just because you're drunk, right?"

She laughed. You pulled up your boxers and pants again.

"Huh? I'm not drunk, silly."

She turned and began to wash her hands in the sink, your eyes met in the reflection of the mirror.

"I fucked you because I found you genuinely cute and I certainly wasn't wrong in thinking you would fuck amazing."

She lowered her face to wash the sticky parts of her face, being very careful not to ruin her makeup too much. Meanwhile you looked at yourself in the mirror, adjusting your outfit and your hairstyle. You thought now was your time to make a move.

"Well, I wasn't wrong either in thinking that ass would be wonderful."

Gahyeon raised her head and looked you up and down with a smile.

"Do you want my number? I would love for you to enjoy it more."

That, ladies and gentlemen, is a masterful victory.

"Yeah, sure," you nodded, pulling your phone out of your pocket.

You waited patiently for her to finish cleaning her face so she could dictate her number to you. You did the same with yours.

"Look for me on Instagram too: fox._.zzlo_"

You chuckled.

"Wasn't there a more complicated name?"

"Everyone I tried was already taken, it's not my fault."

You both followed each other on instagram as well. You were lying if you didn't say you were embarrassed by the difference in your feeds, a lot versus almost nothing. Your self-esteem didn't go that far yet.

"You go out first, I'll come down later," she told you.

"It's not like anyone is suspicious anyway, but aight."

"You have to maintain a certain degree of impudence, darling."

She patted your shoulder a couple of times, blew you a kiss, and urged you to leave. You did so, leaving her alone in the bathroom.

The loud music and bustle filled your ears once again. The difference in environments was overwhelming, you even considered running into the bathroom with Gahyeon again, but you were going to look like a chihuahua with nervous problems. You recognized that the party was at a high point when you looked over the railing and saw the vast majority of people dancing in the inner yard. The mere thought of having to get in there was overwhelming, but you had no choice.

Going down you made your way through the crowd, who were dancing to the rhythm of Lady Gaga's Applause. You were desperately looking for a friendly face, but you only found people that you only waved at from a distance when you were at university. After a few seconds of searching you finally found it. Even though she wasn't exactly who you were looking for, you were grateful.

"I hope Gahyeon was a nice fuck!" Minji exclaimed so you could hear her over the music, "Do you dance?"

Minji had something undecipherable about her; every movement and every expression she made was stupidly attractive, as if she knew perfectly how to use every one of her good qualities. That way it became rather impossible for you to reject her offer.

You sighed and shrugged.

"Yeah, why not."

You approached her so she could put her hand on the back of your neck. You didn't dare touch her with your hands out of mere respect, but you stayed close enough to her to feel the warmth of her body and the subtle scent of alcohol emanating from her. The song opportunely changed to SexyBack by Justin Timberlake. She danced amazingly, which was appreciated since you were pretty close to stinking at it, but you did your best.

"You know? You look like a good guy. Thank god you're not like that jerk Yugyeom."

"He doesn't have much of a good reputation, does he?"

She shook her head. She was staring at you, but you avoided her gaze.

"Not the best of personalities, as you may have noticed."

"Yeah, I can tell."

"All the girls he's been with leave him after a couple of weeks because he's unbearable. Tzuyu is probably going down the same path."

"They are...?"

"Oh yeah, but it's a recent thing. They won't last long."

She took both of your hands and made you put them on her waist, as if telling you to stop being so clumsy. Her body pressed against yours; you just let yourself be carried away by her magnificent movements. You now had to speak in her ear.

"You seem very sure of that, don't you think it's hasty to say so?"

Minji laughed into the side of your face, then wrapped her arms around your neck and placed a hand on the back of your neck.

"Well, as always, there is a chance that something will click and turn out well. But out of every ten girls, ten get hurt by that fool."

"And why do girls still go out with him?"

Minji shrugged.

"God knows why. But that's none of your business, you just worry about keeping who you are and behave."

The song ended, she gave you a kiss on the temple and let go of you. You looked into her eyes.

“I do what I can,” you nodded.

"Yes, I know you do," she smiled, "Oh, look who's here."

You turned to your right. Gahyeon emerged from the crowd, perfectly groomed and impeccable as if nothing had happened. She stood next to the two of you.

"Would you leave her to me for a bit, baby?" she winked at you.

"Of course, I was already leaving."

You returned the wink, smiled at Minji and walked past the two of them to resume your search for the two people you had been trying to find for ten minutes already. Among the entire crowd you found Nayeon and Han dancing, as well as Yugyeom and Tzuyu. Right at the division between the inner yard and the open space you found the two of them. To your surprise, or maybe not so much, they were dancing too close together.

Jihyo had Sana holding her waist from behind, her chin resting on her shoulder with a little smile of being quite tipsy. Sana on the other hand had one hand loose and the other extended behind her, holding onto Jihyo's neck as they danced. You hesitated to approach them for fear of disturbing them, but you had absolutely no one else, and going out there alone was not an option.

Luckily for you, you made eye contact with Sana, who immediately motioned for you to join the two of them. You obeyed and approached the two of them, standing in front of Sana with some distance between you. You moved to the rhythm of the music with the two of them.

"Everything okay, honey?" Jihyo asked you.

"Uh.. .yeah, everything's fine."

Sana grabbed your shirt and pulled you towards her, you were now dangerously close to her face and the rest of her body.

"Don't be shy, silly."

You looked into her eyes for a few long seconds; her smirk and sensual expression were hypnotic, as was the way she moved her hips and enjoyed herself. You two were close, but your bodies didn't touch until the atmosphere heated up.

Halfway through one of the songs you were dancing to, Sana grabbed you by the waist and pulled you even closer, now pressing your bodies together to wrap both arms around your neck. You and Jihyo danced with her in between you for several songs, practically making a tight sandwich that was driving you crazy for her. Everything escalated too quickly, the spicy hands went from here to there over every corner of Sana's body, and she was enjoying it almost as much as you were. You could have even sworn you heard her let out a very subtle moan.

Maybe things escalated too, too quickly, because something you didn't think would happen so soon happened. Sana looked at you with eyes full of desire, her mouth half open in pure sensuality and her hands on your neck, rubbing the slightly sweaty skin there; then she brought her face closer to yours, and without a second's hesitation she kissed you.

Everything around you felt like being in a painting, too perfect to be true. You were completely paralyzed. It was just a kiss, it shouldn't be a big deal; but it was Minatozaki Sana's lips that you had pressed against yours. Again, it shouldn't have been a big deal, she was a person like anyone else. But that felt like being kissed by Galadriel herself.

When she separated her lips from yours, you met Jihyo's knowing eyes, who also looked at your mouth, making her intentions very clear. To test if you understood, you leaned over Sana's shoulder and kissed her too. It didn't end there: after kissing Jihyo, Sana turned around and met her eyes. The two of them also kissed, giving you a little show that was enough to make you hard.

As soon as the two of them finished their mini make out session, Sana grabbed you by the back of your neck and leaned close to your ear.

"Let's see how you behave the rest of the night to see if you deserve to fill my pussy or not."

A chill ran down your spine. The song ended shortly after, and at that moment Yugyeom approached you to tell you that everyone was going to play major or minor with cards. You didn't know if anyone else had seen you, everyone was engrossed in their own world and you didn't think everyone had stopped just to watch the three of you kiss. It wasn't something relevant to know, but you were more afraid of what they might say about Sana than about you.

Hours passed and the alcohol levels gradually became higher in your bodies. Sana became much closer and more affectionate to you and Jihyo; she lets Jihyo handle her at her will, and she is possessive of you over the other girls. Whenever Gahyeon and Minji tried to make you dance with them after finishing a song, Sana would pull you back with her so you wouldn't get separated from her. You weren't drunk, but you were standing on a fine line that could be crossed at any moment. But the most important thing of all is that you were having the time of your life.

However, the best was yet to come.

At some point around midnight the lower floor of the house began to be invaded by a crowd of people dressed in suits and tiki masks; they carried large water guns and tanks on their back, making them look like they were carrying flamethrowers—you hoped they weren't. The three of you were at the kitchen counter eating prawn and bacon skewers when this happened. You and Jihyo were surprised, but you had a certain level of concern since you didn't know what the hell was happening. Sana leaned towards you while she watched the people in suits settle in different parts of the floor.

"Take that face off, it will be a pleasant surprise. I'm just warning you to prepare to get really wet."

That phrase contained a clear double meaning that she accentuated in the word 'wet'. Your head was flooded with thoughts, many of them not exactly chaste. However, everything was quickly eradicated when you heard LMFAO's Champagne Showers start playing. In that moment, you understood perfectly what it was all about.

Sana took you both by the hand and took you to the 'dance floor', where both the tiki people and the rest of the guests began to dance and jump euphorically to the iconic song. The three of you joined in the commotion, laughing and enjoying the moment as enthusiastically as possible.

The moment approached, that peak point of the song where the 'pop' arrived and everything exploded. The tiki people stopped their dancing and focused on preparing their weapons for what was to come. They pointed it in the air and waited.

"Shake that bottle and make it, pop."

They opened fire and the crowd erupted in an explosion of euphoric screams and laughter. The powerful jets flew through the air in all directions, and it didn't take long for you to receive several of them. The unmistakable aroma of the liquid instantly confirmed what you suspected from the beginning of the song, and which was actually quite evident: it was a Champagne Shower.

The end of the song continued until the tiki people had emptied their tanks and absolutely everyone present was drenched in champagne. That was the spark that ignited a next phase of the party: many, already soaked and euphoric, took off their clothes and jumped into the pool. The sounds of splashing mixed with the music, creating a cacophony of joy and celebration.

Like everyone else, the three of you were completely soaked. Your clothes clung to your body, revealing every detail of your figures. Your eyes fell on Sana and Jihyo, admiring the curves and shape of her breasts. You didn't bother to hide your gaze, and they didn't seem bothered by it either. In fact, Sana even seemed pleased that you could see her sexy body again.

Sana took your hands once again and pulled you towards her, brushing your ears with her lips.

"I could use a change of clothes. Would you walk me to my room?" she whispered.

Neither you nor she hesitated for a single second to respond affirmatively. Sana smiled and, without letting go of your hands, she guided you up the stairs to her room. You still couldn't shake the subtle feeling of unreality. If you looked back, everything seemed to have happened too quickly: just a moment ago you were having breakfast with her on the terrace, and now you were heading to her room for what could be the best fuck of your life.

As soon as you crossed the threshold of Sana's room, she pulled you into a fiery kiss, enveloping her body in yours. Your arms instinctively clung to her small waist, feeling the wetness of the fabric and the firmness of her skin against yours. You responded to the kiss with the same intensity that she had from the beginning. Between the heat of the kiss, you felt Jihyo position herself behind Sana, kissing her neck with heavy breathing.

"Fuck, I've been waiting for this moment all night," Jihyo whispered, "Can I take off your dress now, cutie?"

Sana separated from your lips and responded between gasps into your mouth.

"You would do me a big favor, go ahead."

Jihyo did not hesitate to unzip Sana's dress all the way down and remove the straps from her shoulders to slowly lower it to the top of her abdomen. Sana kissed you again, so you couldn't get a glimpse of her pretty tits once they were freed. But she made up for it by bringing her hand right to the bulge in your pants, groping your cock hard over the wet fabric of your pants.

You had to let go of Sana for a moment so Jihyo could finish pulling down the rest of her dress, but you wrapped your arms around her again, and the feeling was one of the most pleasurable you could have ever experienced; being able to touch that beautiful, perfect body to your liking felt ethereal, especially when you brought your hands to her tits and squeezed them between your fingers.

At that moment Jihyo filled Sana's wet back with kisses and licks that made her gasp against your lips. In search of feeling even more of Sana's body you now brought your hands to her perfect ass, which you squeezed as hard as you could; giving her buttocks an intense massage over her panties, which were already screaming to be taken off.

After a few seconds, Sana separated from the kiss and you were able to admire her statuesque, semi-naked body, more closely than a few hours ago. Her tits were stupidly perfect, with an average round size and a pair of pink nipples that made your mouth water. Sana looked at you with a sly smile, satisfied with your reaction.

"Well? What do you think of them?" she asked, her hand on your cock.

Jihyo also looked at you with the same little smile, she then ran her hands in front of Sana's body and squeezed both of Sana's tits for you, she shook them up and down as well. Then she answered for you.

"Look at his eyes, of course he loves them. I bet he wants to suck them too."

Sana grabbed your chin and caressed it with two of her soft fingers, looking into your eyes.

"Is that so, my pretty boy?"

What Jihyo had told you crossed your mind again: 'Get your claws out.' They might have expected a more passive response from you, conforming to the dominant energies they were transmitting, but you decided to become proactive.

"Why don't you come to bed with me and find out for yourself?"

Jihyo looked visibly surprised, but she also nodded with a proud little smile. Sana didn't seem all that surprised, since you were probably giving her what she wanted, someone to dominate her. That was like a turning point, since now Sana saw you with different eyes. No longer like a mistress, but like a girl who wanted you to fuck her brains out.

"Lead the way then," she gestured toward the bed.

You broke away and walked towards the bed with her following behind you. You sat on the bottom edge of it and leaned back, both hands resting on the mattress behind you. She immediately went to straddle your lap, gripping her thighs on either side of your hips. Jihyo also climbed onto the bed, and she crawled up to kneel behind you.

You wasted no time in wrapping your arms around Sana's torso and pressing her against you, plunging your mouth directly into her perfect pair of tits to suck on her nipples. Jihyo behind you took off your shirt and took your shirt out of your pants to lift it up, this way lifting it from your arms and taking it off as well. She hugged you from behind her and filled your back with wet kisses, also going up to your shoulders and the back of your neck; at that you ate both of Sana's soft mounds hungrily, while she ground her hips against your lap and moaned above your head.

"It's not fair..." Sana gasped, "I'm the only one naked here. I want to see you both."

Jihyo rested her chin on your right shoulder.

"And why don't you help me then? We can help our pretty Balto too."

As much as you didn't want to do it, you had to stop eating Sana's tits and let her go. She thanked you with a peck on the lips and stood up with Jihyo. The two of them stood less than a meter away from you and shared a steamy kiss, Jihyo's hands on Sana's waist and Sana's on her shoulders.

Jihyo buried her face in Sana's long neck, filling every corner of it with wet kisses and giving her intense sucks that were with the sole intention of marking territory. Sana used her hands as well as she could to remove Jihyo's top, and in doing so she also removed her bra, leaving them both on equal footing. Again they hug and kiss for another long seconds, in which Jihyo saved Sana work and took off her pants herself. Now the only thing separating them from being completely naked were her panties; Sana's were as red as the flower she still had on the side of her head, and Jihyo's were white.

They broke the kiss and Sana turned to look at you. She smiled from ear to ear looking between your legs.

"That thing is going to tear your pants with how hard it is."

Jihyo, who was kissing her chin and jaw, also turned to look at you.

"Come here, pretty boy."

You took off your shoes and stood up to stand in front of the two of them. Immediately they acted and each took one side of your neck to kiss it. Sana was more delicate and passionate with her kisses, but Jihyo attacked your neck in the same way she did Sana's, as if she wanted to mark territory. Between kisses they took turns undressing you; Jihyo took off your pants, while Sana was in charge of taking off your boxers.

Once completely naked they left your neck and went down your collarbone and chest, passing through your abdomen until they fell to their knees in front of your erect cock. Sana's eyes lit up when she saw it for the first time. She took it with one hand and moved it in each direction to detail it.

"Oh my god..." she gasped, "This is probably the biggest cock that's ever going to fit in this fancy mouth."

She gave it a little kiss on the tip to see your reaction, seeing that you had a little shiver she giggled and gave your tip a little suction to now kiss the back of your shaft.

"And his cum is delicious… why don't we give it a try?"

Jihyo joined Sana and grabbed the right side of your cock to kiss it as well. Both pairs of lips ran over every corner of your cock between wet kisses and long licks, drawing small moans out of you every few seconds. Your hands went to the back of their necks and held on there as Sana now swirled her tongue around your tip and Jihyo sucked on your balls.

The first to take you into her mouth was Sana. She took only a few inches of your cock at first, giving you slow, strong sucks with her eyes on you. Within a few seconds she released you, now licking the backside from top to bottom and meeting Jihyo's tongue on the way. When both tongues came into contact, they raised it at the same time to your tip, where they converged in a sensual maelstrom of saliva and viscosity.

You moaned louder as the two of them made out with your cock right in the middle; they didn't stick to just your tip, they went down along your entire length kissing and licking. When your cock was soaked in a mixture of both of their saliva, Jihyo took her turn to wrap her lips around you. Unlike Sana she took a few more inches, reaching a little more than halfway down your shaft before pumping her head slowly.

Despite starting out slow, Jihyo picked up pace quickly, slurping on your cock hungrily as she held onto your right thigh with both hands. Sana didn't stay still, she was in charge of licking underneath the area of your cock that Jihyo didn’t reach with her mouth; she also massaged your balls with her gentle hand, and with the other she rubbed your thigh.

Jihyo pulled you out of her mouth with a sharp breath, giving your cock slow strokes over the area she had sucked to let Sana continue doing her work. She looked into your eyes intently; you held her gaze for as long as you could, then she took your cock and guided it back into Sana's mouth.

This time Sana went further, to your surprise taking almost the entire length of your cock into her mouth; she reached the end showing a slight gag reflex, but that didn't stop her from putting all her effort into giving you a wonderful blowjob. She moaned around your cock with each pump, making it obvious that you weren't the only one who deeply enjoyed that.

Jihyo let Sana move her head for a few long seconds until she put her hand on the back of her head and pushed it deeper onto your cock. Sana was forced to take you completely inside her mouth, her face scrunching up and her gag reflex kicking in immediately. She choked on your cock, but held on a little longer until she let you free between loud coughs.

Jihyo looked at her with a touch of worry in her eyes.

"Oh, was I too abrupt?"

Sana shook her head as she composed herself.

"Not at all. I needed to choke on a cock like this."

She returned to your cock and kissed it all over again, now showing a devotion worthy of a relic. But you needed more.

"Girls, I'm close… could you not… ?"

"Don't worry baby, we got you," Jihyo said.

Jihyo and Sana now each took short turns sucking your cock. They did it with fast and frantic pumps, causing thick drops of saliva to fall from the corners of their mouths to the ground. Your shaft was covered in that thick, bubbly viscous layer, which each one was responsible for spreading and absorbing with her lips. You couldn't look away from there, you were going crazy with pleasure and you couldn't do anything but moan. Soon you had to make the sign.

"Do it on our tits," Jihyo said.

She knelt up and turned around looking at Sana, who pulled you out of her mouth and adopted the same position. They pressed their tits together, giving you the honor of making the finishing touch. You jerked off as fast as you could, bending your knees slightly to be closer for when you exploded. Your cum shot straight between their tits, painting both pairs of soft mounds white. While you were draining, they kissed each other between loud moans, as well as raising and lowering their breasts to spread your cum on them. The scene would remain in your mind forever as one of the hottest things you had ever witnessed.

When your orgasm passed, Jihyo pulled away from Sana's tits and looked at you as she held her firmly by the waist.

"Baby… I'd love to see this cutie get fucked, you wouldn't mind being a little dominant this time, right?"

You looked at Sana, from her eyes you could tell that she was desperate for you to do so.

"Let's go to bed then," you gestured towards the bed.

You helped the two of them stand up and get back on the bed. Sana lay down with her legs wide open and Jihyo lay down next to her, putting her tits in her face for her to clean. While Sana was wiping your cum off Jihyo's tits you lay between her legs, kissing the inside of her thighs and moving towards her pussy over her panties.

Jihyo returned the favor to Sana once she finished, eating her tits between moans and eating your cum along the way. You grabbed Sana's panties by the curb and slowly pulled them towards you, they slid down her legs and then you threw them to the floor. Her beautiful, wet, inviting pussy was now inches from your face, screaming to be eaten.

You did not resist your carnal impulses and planted your mouth there without a second's hesitation. Sana moaned loudly and brought a hand to your hair, tangling her fingers through it with a subtle tug. Jihyo dedicated herself to kissing every possible corner of Sana's body, passing through her neck and her collarbone until she reached her sexy abdomen.

"Mmm your mouth feels amazing darling..." Sana sensually moaned, "Eat that expensive Japanese pussy."

You internalized that as a kind of divine commandment. You had gained a lot of experience over the past few months, you were more than willing to put all of that into practice to give Sana one of the best orgasms she could ever experience, and as you gained confidence and identified the spots she loved, it didn't take long for you to make her scream with pleasure.

Much to your and Jihyo's surprise, you brought Sana to her breaking point faster than you expected. You had her by her thighs, eating her pussy up and down her while Jihyo rubbed her clit with her fingers. Sana's body tensed and then she began to shake. She pulled your hair hard and she buried your mouth even deeper in her slit when she exploded.

"Mmgghh!!! Yes!!!"

You and Jihyo kept her pinned to the bed as her spasms shook her body. You held her trembling thighs, kissing every corner of her soaked pussy in the throes of her orgasm; Jihyo on the other hand continued to rub her clit in slow circles, then kissed her. Sana clung with both arms to Jihyo's neck, moaning into her mouth in the middle of the kiss. You gave a few last kisses to her pussy, and then to her thighs.

Sana let go of Jihyo and broke away from her kiss, then leaned up on her elbows and looked at you with heavy breathing.

"For God's sake, I'm begging you, fuck me right now."

Her husky and sensual voice penetrated your ears to give you a chill. Her eyes emanated desire, the desire for you to fill her to the bottom with your cock. She was making you feral, so much that you got on your knees, grabbed her waist and roughly put her on her hands and knees. Sana moaned and looked at you over her shoulder as you settled behind her with her amazing ass perfectly raised. Jihyo positioned herself in front of her with her legs open, making her request clear. But Sana was also clear that she needed to see how you filled her.

"Come on honey, fill that slutty, Japanese fancy pussy with that huge cock," Jihyo said, biting her lip.

You didn't consider it necessary to spit on your cock, it was already lubricated enough by the saliva of the two of them; you just had to take it with one hand and guide it towards Sana's pussy, where you pushed to take just your tip inside her. Sana frowned and bit her bottom lip, stifling a moan.

"Mmmm yeah, put it all inside dear, don't hold back..."

You remembered your little adventure with Gahyeon and found it funny that Sana was the complete opposite: she didn't want you to be careful, she wanted it all in from the beginning. You had no problem pleasing her. You grabbed her waist and, staring into her eyes, sank into her tight pussy with one hard thrust that made her scream.

"Ahhhh! Fuck!"

Sana finally turned her head and came face to face with Jihyo's plump, wet pussy, which she was waiting to be eaten. She immersed her face in it, holding her thighs while you moved with slow, hard thrusts that made Sana bounce back and forth. You made eye contact with Jihyo, noticing her face drunk with pleasure thanks to Sana's mouth, which apparently worked wonders.

"Come on baby, fuck her hard, make that pussy yours once and for all! Mmmgh!"

She grabbed onto Sana's hair and let her head fall back for a few seconds, letting out moans only the way she knew how: loudly and shamelessly. You gladly complied with her request, tightening your grip on Sana's waist and picking up the pace until you were fucking her hard but not becoming frantic.

The view you had was worth framing: one side of Sana's beautiful silky hair fell down her perfectly arched back, which made her ass look like something out of a dream. Your cock went completely in and out between that pair of juicy buttocks, making them jiggle from the collision of your pelvis against them. Up ahead was Jihyo's reddened face; eyes fixed on the work Sana was doing on her pussy and her mouth half open as moans reverberated through the room.

You squeezed Sana's left buttock and let out a loud grunt of pleasure. Sana's pussy felt deadly addictive; it was extremely tight, with a hypnotizing grip and a silkiness that drove you crazy every time you reached the bottom with your thrusts. You crossed a new threshold of pace, now fucking her fast and hard, making her scream in pleasure against Jihyo's pussy.

"That's it baby!! She's doing fucking wonders in my pussy so don't you dare stop destroying her!!"

Jihyo's face twisted in pleasure. She couldn't help but lift her thighs and trap Sana's head between them. The red flower was ruined almost immediately—you thought it was about time, because it had lasted long enough. Then she grabbed onto her hair with both hands, pulling it hard to push her further against her slit.

Sana rested her hands on the mattress and slightly raised her upper body for a few seconds, only to let it fall back down. You took it as a sign, as her moans intensified to the point that she had to leave Jihyo's pussy for a few seconds to release them.

The three of you were close to your ecstasy, but the first to explode was Jihyo. She lifted her hips and let out a loud cry, then slammed them back down onto the mattress and sank onto the pillow behind her, holding onto it with both hands behind her head. Sana ate her with pleasure through her orgasm, but as soon as it passed she was free to separate her mouth from there and be able to moan to her heart's content.

"Please don't stop!! Just like that, yeah yeah yeah!!"

She looked over her shoulder at you again. You were met with a pair of teary eyes and a face as red as Jihyo's a few seconds ago. She wasn't going to last another minute, as you found out when after a few more pumps Sana lifted her lower body and muffled a high-pitched squeal against her pursed lips. Tears spilled from her eyes as she fell back down and the side of her face was crushed against the mattress.

Her pussy was choking your cock from all directions, if it was already tight before, now you felt like you were being trapped by a boa constrictor. That seemingly insignificant thing was what brought you to your orgasm. You pulled out your cock quickly, and rubbed it over her ass before a new batch of cum shot out. Sana raised her head weakly, watching both of her buttocks be covered in your thick liquid. Jihyo raised her head to look too, she bit her lip and winked at you.

"Fuck, come kiss me. You guys are so fucking hot."

Sana and you obeyed. You helped her up so that her arms wouldn't fail and she would fall on her face, then you both lay down on either side of Jihyo and brought your faces together to share a sensual triple kiss. In the middle of the hot act, the three of you groped each other, but the main objective of you and Jihyo was to enjoy Sana's body as much as you could. Once your tongues had swirled and you had shared saliva between the three of you, Jihyo pushed you away.

"Fuck her again, baby. But this time I want you to fill her pussy," she looked at Sana, "What do you say, cutie?"

Sana looked at you, and crawled like a predatory lioness towards you over Jihyo's body.

"I want him to do whatever he wants with me… I want him to make me his."

You didn't know how to act in a situation like that since it wasn't usual for you to be so dominant over someone, so you just acted on pure instinct. You grabbed her by the neck and moved closer to give her lips a slow lick from bottom to top, then kissed her for a few short seconds and murmured into her lips.

"Put yourself however you want me to fill that pussy then..."

Sana moaned and bit your lip, visibly turned on by the fact that she was bossed around.

"Mmm... whatever you want."

She moved away from Jihyo, who was staring at you like a monitor, and went to lie on her side on the right end of the bed. She pulled her legs up so that her knees were close to her torso, and she turned her upper body up so you could see her tits. You thought it would be best to lay down behind her to spoon her, but Jihyo quickly took that spot to fill her neck and back with kisses. You had no choice but to do it on your knees.

You positioned yourself in front of Sana's ass and rubbed your cock against her butt cheek a few times; she spit on her hand, and brought it to your shaft to rub it and fill it with saliva. Lubricated again, you slipped back into Minatozaki Sana's heavenly pussy, which greeted you with overwhelming warmth and softness.

You no longer needed foreplay, now you could fuck her as hard and fast as you wanted from the very beginning. However, you didn't do it, first you dedicated yourself to fucking her slowly, only to delight in the changes in her face every time your tip touched her cervix; then you went harder, but not fast, just to watch her tits bounce hypnotically. Finally you started with a combination of the two, and picked up the pace at which she was waiting to be fucked.

"Do you like how that cock fills you up, princess?" Jihyo said against Sana's cheek, "If only you could see your little slut face..."

"Oh god! It feels amazing... that cock is fucking perfect, I want it to be mine! Mghh!"

Sana turned her face to kiss Jihyo, meanwhile you clung with your right hand to Sana's buttock, squeezing it up to watch as your cock hammered into her tight pussy. Jihyo wrapped her arms around Sana's body, groping her all over and putting special emphasis on her bouncing tits. You spanked Sana hard, now holding onto her hips with both hands.

Jihyo separated from Sana and let go of her body; she now settled back on the bed, getting on her hands and knees with her face right next to Sana's ass while you fucked her. You watched what she did for a few seconds, which was basically watching your cock go in and out of her while she bit her lip. You and Sana moaned in unison, and Jihyo took an active role again, this time with you.

She grabbed your balls and grabbed them in a squeeze to look you up. You winced a little, but then enjoyed it.

"Drain those damn balls into that pussy… make her yours baby."

"Oh fuck!" you growled.

You grabbed one of Sana's thighs and pressed it back. Now with the sight of how your cock hammered into Sana's pussy and how Jihyo had your balls squeezed, your orgasm came to you in a mere matter of seconds. You growled like a primal beast, squeezing Sana's thigh so hard with your hand that you were sure a small bruise would appear there later. You shot drop after drop into her, then Sana's mouth opened, her eyes rolled back, and she came too.

You both melted in a hurricane of pleasure, Sana letting herself be carried away by her intense spasms, shaking her in unpredictable ways while Jihyo, smiling and satisfied, held her with one hand; and you with a drop of sweat falling down your temple as you came inside one of possibly the most beautiful women in the world.

Soon your orgasms passed and you came out of Sana, falling on the opposite side of where Jihyo was. You came face to face with the Japanese girl, who quickly cupped your face with her hands to kiss you between pleasurable moans. You wrapped her in your arms, soaking in her warmth as you tasted her lips again.

Jihyo took the moment to spread Sana's butt cheeks and collect every drop of your cum that leaked through her folds. When she was clean, she lay back down behind Sana and hugged you both. A few long minutes passed in which only the three of you rested huddled together, until Sana turned up to speak to both of you.

"You better get some new clothes, cuties, we have a long crazy night ahead of us..."

-------------------------------------

Spren Notes: Alright, this piece was originally intended to be quite a bit shorter, like 10k words or so, but I got carried away and u know 👹.

#twice smut #sana smut #jihyo smut #kpop smut #smut fanfic #x male reader smut #x male smut #male reader smut #male reader insert

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sleepyparalysisdmon · 21 days ago

Text

Ima

The three times Wonwoo flirted with you, and the one where you finally realize it.

Word count: 1.6k

Warnings: none that I can think of, just some fluff

This is part of the Three Times series. This one is inspired by this reaction.

One

“I was wondering when you’d be in,” you say as the shop door opens. Wonwoo gives a light smile.

“Miss me or something?” He saunters up to the counter. You roll your eyes. He’s in the game shop you manage every week, it seems. He likes to rent games from this shop. It’s a mystery why. You know what he does for work, you don’t live under a rock. He could buy all the games he wants. Still, he comes in to rent a game that you recommend, play it, and return it the next week with a report on what he thought.

“How was it?” You pick up the case he’s slid onto the counter and scan it for the return.

Wonwoo shrugs. “You were right. Could have been better.”

“I’m always right,” you chortle jokingly.

“I believe you,” he muses from across the counter. “What do you have for me this week?”

You pull a case from underneath the counter from the spot that is affectionately known as Wonwoo’s little hiding spot. It even has a little piece of tape on it with his name on it. Sometimes things stay there even if someone else asks for the item. Preferential treatment for your best customer after all. “The sequel. It’s better, I promise.”

He reaches for his pocket, but you wave him off. You don’t need his card to pull up his account anymore. You nearly have the account number memorized anyway. You’re sliding the case across to him when the shop door opens again. There’s a certain demographic that needs more help than others in a store like this, and the middle aged mom looking blankly around the store certainly fits the bill. Wonwoo doesn’t linger so you can help the woman find what she needs.

Two

“Well?” You ask from the back of the store. You don’t have to look at whose come in, you just know.

“You were right, it was better,” Wonwoo voices from the next aisle over before peeking around the corner. “Shipment? Anything good?”

“Yours are already at the front,” you tease.

Wonwoo looks smug. “Say you thought of me as soon as you opened the shipment.”

“Of course, I did,” you laugh, plopping the last of the plushies onto the shelf. “In fact, one of them I only ordered because of you.”

Wonwoo laughs as he takes the empty box from you and trails behind you to the counter. This is another little routine when he visits. He knows where the cardboard boxes go. He even breaks them down and takes them out back to recycling sometimes if you’re swamped. “You love me so much.”

You hum as you put his little stack of things on the counter. You process his return and check out the rentals to him. When you slide them to him, he slides them back. “Put them back in my hiding spot for a bit. I’ll take care of the boxes before I go.”

“Oh, Wonwoo, you don’t have to do that. I can take care of it later. I’m here all day.”

He brushed you off, stepping behind the counter and taking the box cutter from the drawer. “You work alone on Tuesdays and hate to lock up in the middle of the day or leave the store unattended. Just let me run and do it. It’ll take five minutes.”

He’s right. You hate working alone, but none of your part timers have any availability on Tuesdays. The woes of hiring college students with busy class schedules. You let him break down the boxes and take them out back.

When he comes back in, you hand him a plushie on top of his games. He looks like he might fight you on it, but you insist. “You aren’t getting paid for how you help around here. Just take the free plushie, Wonwoo.” He relents, telling you he’ll see you next week.

Three

You’re working in the back the next time Wonwoo comes in. One of your part timers interrupts you while you’re making the schedule. “Wonwoo’s here. What did you have in mind for him this time?” Wonwoo’s one of the store’s favorite customers, not just yours, but the part timers let you handle filling his stack underneath the counter.

“I’ll be out in a minute,” you tell him, saving your work. When you see Wonwoo, you laugh, “Back again already? It’s only been a few days.”

“What can I say? I missed you a little.” Wonwoo laughs.

“What’d you think?” You ask, holding up one of the cases he’s returning.

“Great, actually. Do you have a copy I can buy?” He asks.

You grin, pulling a brand new copy of the game from his little hiding spot. “Do I know you or what?”

“I guess so,” he agreed, grinning. When you scan the rentals you picked for him, he speaks up. “Can you extend the date for those? I’ll have to travel starting next week and they might be late.”

You wave him off. “You know I’ll waive the fees for you. When have you ever been late before?”

“Never. Otherwise, how would I see you?” He laughs, handing you his credit card for the new game. His phone rings as he’s signing the receipt and he quickly excuses himself. The shop door is closed before you pick up the receipt to put it in the register. For whatever reason, the receipt format has a tip line, despite never needing to tip someone at a game store. You’ve told corporate dozens of times that it confuses people, and you wish you’d pushed a little harder because Wonwoo’s left a totally unnecessary tip for the exact price of the plushie you gave him last week. He must have looked on the website to find out how much it cost.

You scoff, stuffing the receipt in the register. You’ll get him back for this somehow.

Four

The next time he comes in, you’re standing on a stool to change a light bulb. He scoffs as his hands come around your calves to steady you. “Why didn’t you let someone taller do this for you?”

“Couldn’t wait. The bulb blew yesterday back here and no one’s in until Wednesday. You can’t even see the shelves without it,” you say, making absolutely no move to get off the stool until the job is done. “How was your trip?”

He hums. “Fine. Paris Fashion Week.”

“Ooo, fancy,” you chuckle. “What? You didn't enjoy one of the most romantic cities in the world?”

You can hear the smile in his voice even though he’s behind you. “Eh. I’ve been before. Plus, you weren’t there.”

“Never been,” you say lightly. “All done!” You clap before trying to climb off the stool. You’re surprised when you’re suddenly in the air and even let out a little squeak. Wonwoo’s hands leave your waist as soon as your feet are back on the ground. “Thanks,” you say weakly.

He looks so fucking casual about it as he shrugs. “Didn’t want you to fall.” You’re abnormally flustered as you turn to go to the counter. You process his returns. It’s an old habit to pop open every case and do a once-over to the disc, even though you know Wonwoo’s never returned anything damaged.

Inside the last case is a slip of paper with some numbers written on it. “Oh, did you leave this in here?” You pick it up and hold it out to him.

He shakes his head. “Oh, no. That’s for you.”

“It’s a phone number,” you say, confused. You’re even more confused when he bites back a grin.

“Yeah, I know. It’s mine.”

“… What?”

He’s still grinning. “I know it’s on my account, but you’ve never used it, so I thought I’d make myself clear.”

“Do you… like me or something?” The words sound weird as they come out of your mouth.

This makes him bark out a loud, slightly exasperated laugh. “Y/N, I flirt with you every single time I come in. It’s really the only reason I come in.”

“Are you serious?” You stutter out.

“Yeah, I am. Not that it was getting me anywhere. I decided for a more direct approach this time. I missed you while I was traveling and having your phone number would have been nice.”

You’re still so baffled at his confession and subsequent amusement that you’re a little robotic. “Oh… okay then.”

“There’s really no pressure, Y/N.” He seems to mean it. He gestures behind the counter. “What do you have for me today?”

“A couple older ones, not sure if you’ve played them before,” you say, totally distracted. He glances at the covers and shrugs.

“I’ll take them,” he says simply. His phone rings and he steps away with an apology. The check out is complete within a few seconds, but you stall out, staring at the pen and post it notes next to the register. He sounds like he’s wrapping up his call, so you rush, scribbling on to the note and stuffing it inside one of the cases. When he approaches the counter again, he looks apologetic. “I’m sorry, I can’t stick around. That was work.” You wave him off and he’s almost out of the door when he turns around. “Really, no pressure, okay?”

You nod, grinning to yourself when the door closes behind him. You stuff the little paper into your pocket and move on with work. Later that night, you’re locking up when you’re phone buzzes. You recognize the number from earlier and it makes you laugh. So does the message.

‘I forgot how good this game is. You’re always right.’

#seventeen #svt #seventeen x reader #svt x reader #seventeen imagines #svt imagines #wonwoo x reader #wonwoo

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alllgator-blood · 22 days ago

Text

'IT'S JUST A BURNING MEMORY' (part 5/5)

(part 1) (part 2) (part 3) (part 4)

This part got rewrote the absolute most, the last four panels had a lot more actual dialogue but honestly speaking from personal experience, this is more of a "lay down and scream until no more sound comes out" situation. I don't think the other two have processed the schism like at all because they're busy trying to keep shamura alive, so there's no room to really mourn what everybody lost when they're at risk of losing someone else. UNTIL the baby brother collapses on the floor sobbing, cause like what big sibling ISN'T gonna comfort him but have a lil cry of their own as well

I have a kind of sequel to this in the works but I'm gonna have to hype myself up for it because while it's supposed to be a happy/bittersweet moment, it's another deeply personal one and I can only handle one of these every once in a while :') But if you read this far, thank you, every comment/rb I got for this comic I read really helped me stay motivated long enough to finish this. I appreciate the messages I got offering condolences or asking if I'm okay, I didn't respond only because I don't want to overshare (y'all KNOW how much I type..) but this dumb angst comic really did help me process some stuff. I'm okay!

#cult of the lamb #cotl bishops #leshy #heket #kallamar #angst #comic

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hai7ani · 2 months ago

Text

我的心肝宝贝 / i have found you / haitani rindou

sequel

losing your memories after a terrible car crash that's left you confused, quiet, and a little clumsy afterwards. all confidence had left your soul just like the past 2 years of your life, and honestly, you didn't think you'd be able to get through not knowing anything. things had changed a lot from when your memories had last stopped at.

you still manage to pick yourself up, however, even though it'd took you quite some time to gain back the confidence to go out in public with the blank and empty feeling in your head, your heart. you still don't remember much from the memories you've lost, and you find yourself constantly searching for something that you don't know.

and now you're in Don Quijote a little after 9 to run some errands for your mother who insists you go alone this time. before you left she had claimed that this may be helpful for you. she'd pointed out that this used to be your favourite place to visit at night when you had nothing to do. at first you didn't understand what she meant by it 一 you couldn't figure out why a place like Don Quijote would be somewhere you like spending time in, considering the loud, overwhelming music constantly playing through the speakers and the crowds of people who were somehow always everywhere in all corners of the store.

until you're queuing up for checkout and you hear a deep voice call for your nickname that you haven't heard in a while. you don't recognise the voice, though, and you think to yourself that this might be someone you had known just before you had lost your memories.

so you turn around, already getting ready to say the words you find yourself repeating quite a lot recently.

"i don't remember you."

the man before you is tall. he towers over you, he's a little tanned, and he's also the same guy you'd made eye contact with a while ago when you were browsing for ramen. you remember he had been staring 一 he seemed very mysterious, but you didn't think of him as creepy nor did he give off any human-trafficker vibes, and he never once broke eye contact too when you were passing him at the aisle.

"hi," you start with a little smile, and he thinks your eyes are bright with so much sun despite it being nighttime and you don't seem to be bringing anything up. he looks at you with an expression you think strangers don't normally give to another stranger, so you figure he must be someone you had known closely before.

"i, um," you blink once, twice 一 suddenly feeling a little out of breath and warm 一 and your chain of thought gets interrupted when he takes a step closer to your body. you can smell the hints of tobacco off his clothing and you resist the urge to pick away a loose thread from the collar of his black coat. the sudden temptation to do that was shocking to you, as you'd never felt anything like this before to anybody you've met recently.

then he lowers down a little to grab the handle of your basket and swiftly places it on the conveyor belt when you don't notice the cashier calling out for you (your back had been turned).

"thank you." you say as you start pulling out your wallet, getting ready to pay.

you turn to look up at the man again while waiting. you had bought quite an amount of items today, so this would give you time to converse with him.

"i'm sorry, have we known each other before?" you begin. you notice from his body movement that he is a little stunned when you'd asked him that, because he had taken a step back and frowned. he seems a bit confused as he curls his fingers inwards and forms his big hands into fists. the Don Quijote song plays softly in the background as you stare at each other like that 一 as he swallows the pit in his mouth, as you dig for just anything at all, right at the core of your brain.

nothing.

you decide to explain further when he doesn't budge. "i'd just lost my memories recently, from a car accident. i don't remember anything from the past 2 years..." you bite your lip, trailing off.

"so if we had known each other during those times, i'm really sorry, but i don't recognise you at all." your shoulders slump as you say it to him.

during those times.

you feel a little something, probably in your heart, rip apart inside of you when you see the light in his eyes swiftly disappear. you think the purple of his orbs had just turned into a darker shade. from violet to eggplant, his frown disappears, and he opens his mouth to speak-

"cash or card?"

you hurriedly look away from him and he sighs. out of relief, out of disappointment, or out of sadness?

"oh, cash-"

out of nothing but love.

"...we're paying together." he slams his own basket on the conveyor and eyes the cashier in a way that would've made you squirm out of fear because he looks so intimidating. "make it quick." he's stern when he says it, and the poor cashier looks so afraid that she does make absolute quick work of scanning his items together and checking you both out. but surprisingly to you, you don't sense any malice in his voice. you know he didn't mean anything bad by it -- he'd just really wanted it to be quick.

he's a nice guy, just a bit rough. he doesn't know how exactly to be polite. he has good intentions. he speaks up a lot, but he doesn't voice out very often.

you know. you want to tell her that. but he covers your sight by stepping in front of you and hands the lady his card.

(you end up sliding the cashier a piece of sticker you'd randomly found in your purse while mouthing a quick "sorry!" to her on your way out of the store.)

ane now you're standing outside the store, under a dim lamp post and you're searching for something inside your bag of groceries.

and he watches as you fish out a bag of chips, rip an opening easily, and hand it to him with a big smile. "here! my treat for paying for my groceries."

oddly to you this entire interaction feels so normal. usually a stranger would've never let another stranger pay for their things this easily, but with this man, it feels fine. it seemed okay to let him do that. you feel like this has happened before.

"why this snack?" is what he asks when he grabs a chip from the bag and shoves it in his mouth. he chews and chews and grabs another and chews, and your smile grows even wider when he finally takes the entire packet away and starts eating it like it belongs to him.

"dunno. i thought you'd enjoy it." you shrug, "and you do seem to actually enjoy it. i'm glad. i didn't buy it for any reason exactly, just felt right for me to grab it off the shelf."

he cracks a smile at that.

"you really don't remember me?"

"no, gosh, i'm sorry. what's your name?"

he eyes the small purple keychain of a specific initial hanging off your handbag. you hadn't switched it out even after so long, he realises.

...perhaps you did feel the same for him after all.

regret.

longing.

maybe still some love.

"Rindou. i am Rindou."

you give him a smile. he feels young all over again because you're looking at him the same way you always did.

"hello Rindou, i am y/n." you giggle as you say it, knowing he already knows, but you still want to say it anyway.

"were we friends? where did we meet?"

he sucks the flavouring off his thumb. it starts snowing a little. Don Quijote is no longer lit up and noisy as they start closing up the store.

"here." he looks down to the packaging in his hands and folds it nicely before throwing it in the trash. you tilt your head to the side, obviously extremely confused and a little nervous.

"we met here, two winters ago. i was lost as i was new to tokyo, and you bought me this snack as a cheer up before walking with me to my hotel."

"...and?" you grin, patiently awaiting for the rest of his response. it felt good to know you were nice to him back then 一 that this place was also coincidentally where you'd first met him with him eating the same snack that you bought for him.

a light layer of snow starts covering your head and shoulders, but he is warm when he moves closer to you and pats them away gently.

he then slides his hand down to rest it on the back of your head.

and he kisses your forehead.

you think you want to melt away like the snow on the ground. you think the empty feeling inside of you has been filled and you don't ever want him to leave again.

you think you have found what you have been searching for so feverishly after losing your memories.

"i loved you before."

you don't move in his arms when he snakes them around your figure 一 as he pushes you anymore closer to himself, into his chest.

you hear his heart beat for you before your ears.

"i still do."

in chinese we have this term of endearment: 心肝宝贝 (xin gan bao bei) which is a very cheesy endearment for a loved one, commonly used by parents for their child, but it can be used between lovers as well.

心 xin (heart) | 肝 gan (liver) | 宝贝 bao bei (baby/sweetie for endearment, commonly used between lovers) = basically saying that you are just as important as my heart and liver

i was picturing rin saying this to her in his heart when he was hugging and pushing her to his chest :(((

#writing #rindou x reader #rindou haitani x reader #haitani rindou x reader #rindou haitani #haitani rindou #tokyo revengers x reader #tokrev x reader #tr x reader #tokyo revengers #tokrev #rindou x you #bonten #bonten x reader

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star-girl69 · 11 months ago

Text

So It Goes…

Clarisse La Rue x Fem!AphroditeCabin!Reader

—-

sypnosis: the one day chiron decides to switch up the capture the flag teams, and everyone knows you’re clarisse’s weakness, In A Good Way sequel!!

i changed my theme it’s me tho promise

a/n: protective clarisse the love of my life i love you i do i think we should get married actually anyways this one is sooooooo i got to explore a more casual side of clar’s and reader’s relationship in this (for like a min) i hope you all enjoy!!

So It Goes… - Taylor Swift

warnings: soft clarisse my love, protective clarisse we KNOW how i feel abt her…., also slightly possessive clarisse i think i love you too, again clarisse gets a bit too into capture the flag, clarisse picks reader up which i KNOW is not inclusive (im literally plus-sized idk what the hell am i doing) but it was so good i couldn’t resist, she has like super strength probs so i’ll just believe (she literally could not pick me up i need to stop being delusional), swearing, violence, kissing, a bit suggestive but nothing crazy, tell me if i missed anything!!

—-

Clarisse’s bed is one of your favorite places. You’ve spent so many nights here, wrapped up in her arms, feeling like no one could touch you. And you’ve spent secret days with her hands on your waist, yours in her hair, lips pressed together so tight it’s like you were each other’s oxygen.

You love Clarisse’s bed. And you know Clarisse loves her bed too, seeing as it’s a huge source of pride for her- it’s the best bunk in the cabin, and she gets a major kick over the fact that you sleep here just as much as you sleep in your own cabin.

You’re sitting down, watching Clarisse pace back and forth, her spear in her hand.

“Clarisse,” you say. She brought you here just fo freak out. Now she won’t sit down and let you help her, and she wont just freaking listen. “Clarisse, baby, what’s wrong? Can you at least put your spear down so you don’t accidentally kill somebody? If you kill me with that I’m gonna come back and kill you.”

She stops for a moment and leans her spear up against the wall. You let out a sigh.

“Now just sit down-”

She resumes her pacing.

As much as you love just being in Clarisse’s presence, as much as you know you’re her rock, the only thing that keeps her tethered in the storm she constantly fights through, you need her to let you help her.

“Clarisse!” you stand up, placing your hands on her shoulders. “You’re freaking me out, okay? What happened? I-I’m sure we can fix it, I mean…” you rub your hands up and down your arms, which you know she likes, her muscles are one of her biggest sources of pride.

She sits down, letting you stand in between her legs, her hands moving to hold your hips.

“Sorry,” she mumbles. She’s not very good at handling her emotions, but she’s getting better, and at least she’s able to recognize and apologize when her emotions are hurting other people. Well, you, at least. She breathes out. “Chiron decided to switch the teams.”

And now she had to work with the Athena cabin? The Gods know after the Ares and Athena cabins have captained opposing teams for years, Chiron pretends there’s not, but everyone knows there’s a deep rivalry. More than just friendly competition.

“The Demeter cabin will be on the red team.”

“Okay,” you say, squeezing her shoulders. You aren’t really close with anyone from the Demeter cabin, it doesn’t really bother you much.

“And… the Aphrodite cabin will be on the blue team.”

“Oh.”

You’ve never not been on Clarisse’s team for capture the flag. Not only does the entire red team’s tactic rest on you using your charmspeak to protect the flag, but what the hell are you supposed to do fighting against Clarisse?

She wraps her arms around your waist, flopping back onto her bed and bringing you down on top of her.

“I know it’s all Annabeth and Luke behind this. I’m sure that little smartass has made up some sick plan to make me go insane.”

You scoff, planting your hands behind her head on the bed. “You’re the one who can actually fight. I’m, like, so bad it’s not even funny, Clar.”

“You beat me all the time,” she frowns.

And it’s true, you spar with her at least 3 or 4 times a week, and you win most of the those times. But Clarisse moves slower, she doesn’t hit as hard, she anticipates your next move and doesn’t block it so you can land a hit.

“We both know you let me win.”

“I like seeing you smile,” she says, her own matching smile on her face.

“Okay, you big romantic.” You let your hands slip, laying your head against her chest and your arms flat around her head. “It’s not that big of a deal, Clar. I’m sure it’ll be fine, then Chiron’ll probably switch them back.”

“Annabeth convinced him to do it. She has some sort of plan, Y/N, she does.”

“You’ve mentioned,” you hum. “Stop stressing. Nothing we can do about it.”

“Fine,” she hisses.

She wraps her arms around your waist and throws you to the side so you yelp, now she’s climbing on top of you, laying her head on your chest.

“It’s going to be the worst game of capture the flag in history, you know. I hope you’re happy, I don’t even know what I’m gonna do without you. I mean, I guess I could move that group in the west side to just south of the flag, so that’ll be a bit more for them to get through. Oh, I’ll stick that one good archer on the ground- no, no that wouldn’t work, I need him in the trees. But I’ll move his position-”

—-

You walk to the woods together. When it’s time to split up, Clarisse grabs you by your armor and points her finger into your chest.

“Clar, what the hell are you doing-”

“Don’t do anything I would do.”

“Okay, Clarisse,” you smile, blinking once to avoid rolling your eyes at her ridiculousness.

She smirks, her arm squeezing your waist. She pecks you on the lips before pulling away completely.

“Done making out?” Jackie asks, her and Tyla suddenly appearing next to you.

“It was one kiss, Jacks. Are you sure we have the same Mom?”

“No, honestly.”

You fall into step with the two of them, laughing as you make your way through the woods and to the edge of the river.

Chiron makes his usual speech, the conch sounds, and everyone starts moving around.

Annabeth finds the three of you soon after. Tyla and Jackie fall away, following your other siblings. Annabeth always has this calculating look on her face, like she knows something you don’t, a true child of Athena. You have to admit, she really is one of the smartest people you know.

“Annabeth,” you smile. “I guess you want me by the flag?”

“No, I debated that, but I decided against it.”

She smirks and looks at you before spinning around, pointing to Luke and his team members who are always in charge of getting the flag.

“You’ll be with Luke.”

You frown. “You do realize I have absolutely no skill in battle, right, Annabeth?”

“Yeah, but skill doesn’t matter when you have power. Power over someone.”

“Oh, okay. Who do you want me to charmspeak-”

“Charmspeak whoever you come across, but that’s not what I’m talking about. You have power over Clarisse. I know she’s defending the flag today, right?”

She looks at you sharply.

You smile. “Oh, I really don’t know. But if you say so, sure.”

She starts walking, you follow her.

“Clarisse doesn’t talk strategy to you? I mean, I talk Luke’s ear off.”

“Oh, no, she does, I just don’t really retain any of it.”

She huffs a small sound of laughter.

“I know she’ll be there,” she affirms.

“If you say so!” you say, all sing song, Luke smiling as he meets your eyes.

“Y/N! How’s it feel to finally be on the winning team?”

“I love being on the red team, thanks for asking.”

“Ha. You’re so funny, are you sure you’re not a child of Apollo?”

“Too beautiful,” you glide your hands down your face. “I get it from my godly mother.”

“Luke, do you know what you’re doing?” Annabeth asks.

“Yes ma’am.”

She smiles and walks away, talking to more people while you can faintly hear Clarisse shouting at people. With the change in tactic, you know she’s been slightly stressed, but she won’t allow herself to feel anything other than confidence, outwardly.

She still walks tall. She still grips her spear in her hand a little to tight. She’s a bit too greedy with the things that are hers, she grabs on a bit too tight, but you know it’s just because she’s scared. You like it.

If this were a regular game, you would probably be walking next to Clarisse right now, or kissing her goodbye while you follow Matty and everyone else to go protect the flag.

When you and Clarisse first started dating, she was slow to be so affectionate, but the more of her walls you started breaking down the more you found a complicated teenage girl who felt unloved, and had a lot of love to give too.

The more confident she became in your private relationship, the more she wanted everyone to know. It was her fatal flaw, pride, hubris. She wanted everyone to know she was yours and your were hers. She wanted everyone to be jealous.

“I’m so glad we don’t have to wear those horrible earplugs today. They always make me worried. Someone could be shouting a few feet away and none of us would hear.”

“Stop gloating, Luke.”

“I’m just expressing my gratitude, Y/N, is that not allowed?”

“I don’t want to talk to you anymore.”

“Oh, oh, I know. You’re sad, aren’t you?”

“Sad?” you snort.

“Yeah, sad. Sad you aren’t with Clarisse. You’re devastated, destroyed, wrecked.”

You put your hand on your sword. “Who are you… and what have you done with Luke Castellan? Luke doesn’t know that many words…”

He hits your shoulder. “Shut up, Y/N.”

—-

You’re walking through the woods.

Not sneaking around in stealth, not running, but walking.

You’ve come across a few of your former team members, but one of the blue team just tackles them and you tell them to turn around and count to 5,000.

For some reason, it’s worse than sitting by the rock, waiting for someone to make a play for the flag. At least at the rock you’re surrounded by all these people you know. You and Matty are usually talking, Marjorie sometimes joins, and you all have fun bullying Corey for that one time he didn’t see the blue team coming.

Luke’s voice drops to a whisper.

“Here’s your job. You can either, one, go make out with Clarisse in a corner, which shouldn’t be too hard-”

“Luke,” you hit his shoulder. He hisses.

“I’m joking, joking. Just keep her distracted, fight her, maybe pull your shirt down a bit? Oh, or I can just cut it so it’s a bit more revealing-”

“Luke, shut up or else I will make you.”

“It’s not a bad idea-”

“Luke!”

“Sh, sh,” he whispers. “Don’t be so loud, we’re almost to the flag. We’re going for stealth, okay?”

“Oh, really, I didn’t notice,” you deadpan. He looks around.

“Blue team, stealth mode, alright?”

Everyone nods. You roll your eyes. You miss the red team.

—-

After Luke gives you the ok, meaning the blue team has successfully surrounded the red team and the clearing, you take a step forward.

Annabeth was right. Clarisse is there.

It’s fitting. If you can’t be there, she would.

You look up at Corey, but he hasn’t noticed any of you yet. You frown, thinking about how he’s probably going to get beat up.

“Clarisse!” you shout. You watch everyone jump into defensive positions. She can’t see you yet, but she stares in the direction of your voice, her eyes squinting, smiling softly.

“Luke?” she shouts. “That you?”

You frown.

“What the hell?” you say, stepping forward. “You don’t recognize my voice? I thought that was really smart. Like, a cool way to reveal myself, I don’t know.”

You come into the clearing, sword by your side.

Clarisse’s smile drops.

“I-I- no, baby, I just wasn’t expecting Annabeth to send you here-”

“Do I really sound like Luke?”

“No,” she says, immediately. “You sound like an angel.

Matty laughs. Clarisse stabs his foot with the end of her spear. She smiles at you.

“Is Luke here though?” Marjorie asks, subtly trying to look through the trees.

“I don’t know.”

“Well, you do,” Matty snorts.

“You’re going to tell me though right, baby?” Clar smiles, stepping closer until she’s right in front of you.

“Obviously not, you didn’t recognize me. I’m, like, really hurt by that Clarisse-”

“Gods, Clarisse,” Matty shouts at the sky, laughing. You didn’t recognize her, and now we’re all fucked!”

“Shut the fuck up, Matty,” she says over her shoulder. She looks at you, smiling again, her hand reaching out to touch your face. “I’ll let you do that thing you’ve always wanted to do.”

You smile, your voice dropping to a whisper. “You’ll let me give you a makeover? Really?”

“Yes.” Her teeth grit, but she keeps smiling, her thumb rubbing your cheek.

“Hm, I don’t know,” you mutter, your eyes fixing on her spear when you suddenly reach forward, grabbing it from her hands and turning to run away.

The blue team emerges from the woods with war cries, swords start clashing, and it all happens so fast.

The plan was for you to grab her spear, make her chase you around the woods, and hopefully the blue team would be able to overpower the red team without her.

Instead, Clarisse kicks out her foot, tripping you. Then, she catches you and the spear in what you swear has to be a milisecond.

“Clarisse!” you shout, genuinely offended. She beat you so easily. It wasn’t even a fight. You didn’t even get the chance to run.

“Sorry, baby, it’s capture the flag!”

You about to start kicking like a wild animal when she suddenly lets you go. Luke is there, fighting her while you pick your sword up from the ground that fell in the commotion.

One of your team members dropped their helmet and you pick that up too.

You’re not that bad of a fighter, Clarisse just knows everything about you, you tell yourself. But your pride is slightly wounded and you want to prove to her, yourself, and everyone that you’re not just a weak Aphrodite kid or some poor thing that hangs off Clar’s arm.

You can hold your own.

You stick the helmet on and step into the fight. Someone groans and a sword comes wishing through the air, but you block it.

They swing again.

You block it.

You picked up things from Clarisse, and, besides, you weren’t just sparring for fun. She actually teaches you, better than the actual sword practice teacher if your biased opinion is to be trusted.

But you probably just feel that way because she rewards you with kisses.

It seems like you’re actually winning for a second, about to disarm him, when he seems to get fed up with fighting you and suddenly arcs hard over your head, making you lose your footing and letting him kick you.

You land on your back, groaning and trying to catch your breath.

“That was such a bitchy move,” you mumble. He leans over you, about to kick the sword out of your hand-

“I’m gonna fucking kill you, Samuel.”

She holds her spear right under his throat, and he finally seems to look at your face instead of just your blue helmet.

“Shit. Sorry. Sorry, Clarisse, I’m sorry.”

She looks like she’s about to kill him but she just pushes him away.

“I was winning,” you groan. “But then he kicked me.”

She kicks him as he walks away.

You expect her to tug you up and start lecturing you but instead she leans down and throws you over her shoulder.

“Wha- Clarisse!”

“That’s enough for you today,” she says, patting the back of your thigh.

“Clarisse, I swear to Hades, let me down!”

“One second,” she mumbles.

When she places you down on the ground again, you’re leaning against a tree. She grabs your hand, frowning at something.

It’s the smallest cut, barely there, but Clarisse of course acts like it’s the end of the world.

“Does it hurt?”

Your eyes fix on Luke behind her, stalking slowly towards her turned back.

“No, Clar, it’s fine. Now I-”

“I think you should go the nurse.”

Your mouth drops open. “Clarisse, it’s a paper cut!”

“And if it gets infected? Go away, Luke, I can hear you.”

He locks eyes with you but ultimately turns around with a very scared and annoyed look on his face.

“Now do you see why I was all messed up? I knew this was going to happen. You were gonna get hurt, and it was going to be my fault.”

You roll your eyes. “It’s not your fault, Clarisse-”

“But isn’t it? You would have been at the flag if Annabeth hadn’t known how much you mean to me. Instead, you were here. Instead, you were rushing off to go fight someone-”

“I’m not a damsel in distress, Clar!”

She presses her lips together.

“I can fight too. Not as good as you, but I can. I-I don’t want to be weak, I don’t want to rely on you for everything, it’s- it’s embarrassing.”

You didn’t even know you were feeling this way until you felt it. But it’s always been there, you guess. You always watch Clarisse spar and know she could never do anything like that with you. And you thought you were fine with it, and you are fine with having things that you like and things that she likes- but you don’t want to be so useless anymore.

She’s silent for a second.

“I- I get that. I do. But I just don’t know how to tell you I… I love you without showing it. I’m not good at saying it, you know that.”

“Clarisse,” you frown.

She puts her hands on your face.

“You are… the most precious thing in the world to me, Y/N. I really hope you know that.”

You wrap your arms around her neck, you can feel her heart thump from the fight.

“I know that, Clarisse. Of course I know that. You show me every day, I just- I just want to feel like my own person.”

She grips you tighter. “If it’ll make you happy, I’ll teach you to fight. But you have to do it how I say, and you can’t go off and do this-”

You pull back so you can make sure this is real.

“Really?” you smile.

“You have to listen to me, Y/N, and do it slowly, okay-”

“Yes, yes, yes, okay, yes,” you breathe, planting your hands on your face before kissing her. It’s slow, it’s sweet, it’s exactly what you think of when you think of her. You think of the side that’s yours, the side that only you can see.

You break it, leaning down to pick up her spear.

The red team is losing the fight behind you.

“Ok, go win capture the flag. And I’ll stay here. My hand does kinda hurt,” you mumble.

She smiles and kisses your cheek. “Not just a paper cut, huh?”

“Can I still give you a makeover?” you ask as she turns away.

“Maybe!”

—-

y/n: what why did you not recognize me ☹️☹️

clarisse, genuinely terrified: i have no idea what the hell you are talking about please please please don’t take away kissing privileges please please please

—-

taglist:

@lvrue @t-wylia @laughingcheese037 @kroumi @urdeadpoet @colezb @rey26 @harmzilla @elliewilliamsbae @amberfreemansburntface @kyuupidwrites @neverwaakeme-up @shark1008

(pls ignore it’s for the acc aesthetics thank you!!)

#clarisse la rue #clarisse la rue x reader #clarisse la rue x y/n #clarisse la rue x you #pjo tv show #pjo x reader

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easy-there-leftovers · 5 months ago

Text

Mixed Messages

Written with season 1 Spencer in mind

Summary: The 5 times that you think you might hate Spencer Reid + the 1 time you realize you can't.

Alternatively; You're completely oblivious to your own growing feelings for Spencer that it constantly puts you in harm's way.

This can be seen as a prequel-sequel + sequel (?) to "A Question Unasked," but can be read independently of it.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem! (mentored by Hotch!) reader | cw: slight spoilers for s1e02, s1e04, s1e06, s1e10, and s1e18 | reader gets really mean in the later half lol |slight description of canon-typical violence, slight timeframe switches because it made more sense that way | word count: 8.9k (yowza--)

“It’s something, I know it is.” You mutter to yourself, rubbing the pads of your fingers together in an attempt to gather your thoughts. But you can’t.

Can’t find it.

Can’t find that one word.

“What do you call that thing when you–” you snap your fingers at your colleague. Your equal. “I’m sorry– what do you call the urge to do something or behave a certain way?”

This was your second case out on the field with the rest of the BAU since you’ve been recruited, and it had not been easy for you.

The BAU always seemed like a prestigious unit to be a part of. Only the best of the best ever got to rub elbows up in that department, having been founded by Jason Gideon and David Rossi.

Two of the most legendary profilers in the world.

And right now you, you haven’t been feeling the best. But Aaron Hotchner seemed to have thought otherwise.

Spencer thinks for a moment, trying to understand what you had just asked him while he stared at the board that still had the team’s ideas on it.

“Actually, it could be a number of things; urges, cravings, stressors, compulsions–”

“That one! You’re amazing at this, Dr. Reid.”

After noticing your knack for the more analytical aspects of the job, your mentor, the unit chief himself, had assigned you to work with one Dr. Spencer Reid. Another fresh grad that could not have been any older than you, but certainly seemed way smarter.

He said that you would work well together.

And you believed him.

You looked at the calendar that had been marked when the fires were started, fully missing how the genius had frozen at your praise, and you frantically reviewed the theory in your head.

Double-checking, triple-checking, and nodding when you see it’s consistent.

You then hurriedly pulled up the recording of Matthew in his dorm. Hovering so close to the screen, that Spencer had to be equally as close to it, and by extension to you, in order to even try seeing what you were seeing.

“Do you see it?” You look back at him, and his face is so close, you almost lose your nerve but thankfully, Gideon opens the door to check up on the both of you.

He pauses as if he’s seeing something he shouldn’t be, but carries on anyway.

“Don’t just look at the next move. It’s like chess, think three steps ahead.” He says it mostly to Spencer, you notice, but you also notice how he was slightly bothered by your proximity to his protege.

He doesn’t say anything about it, but you’re working as a profiler now for a reason.

You move away a little.

When he leaves, Spencer turns to look at you again and asks what you saw.

“See this?” You ask as you point to the part where there were two, clearly lit windows on screen and he nods. “There are two fires, right?” He nods again.

“Now look at this,” You show him the part where Matthew gets wet with gasoline, and is eventually set aflame.

“That was the third fire.”

You see Spencer’s eyes light up at your statement, and you hurriedly scrub back to where the unsub had been trying the door knob. Making sure to zoom in on the handle.

This time, it's the boy-genius that says it. “He turns the knob three times.” He looks at you to confirm his statement, and you nod. Looking into his eyes.

Something you did out of respect.

“Right, so if we’re not wrong,” you use the pronoun on purpose, “the professor’s office should have something to do with the number three as well.”

He walks with you to the burned office, professor Wallace’s office, and there you collectively discover more of the same number.

You have all the evidence you need.

***

“Sir Hotchner, we know why the profiles never fit.” It’s you who opens the door first, but Spencer is the one that carefully closes it behind you.

He looks at Gideon. “You were right to tell Morgan not to rely on precedent.” He then sets up the computer that you two had brought and you continue for him.

“So far, the fires that have been set are completely task-oriented.”

Hotch quirks his brows at that. “So once the fires are set, the unsub is done?”

You nod.

“Correct, sir. The reason why the profile never fit is because it contradicts the mold of a classic serial arsonist– his use of fire is the compulsion of a completely different disorder.” “Which is?” Gideon questions.

“An extreme manifestation of OCD– Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.” Spencer answers as he finally found out how to turn the computer on. The two of you exchanging lines in perfect synchronization.

“He does everything in threes. And if I’m right, he’ll have to kill again.”

The four of you discuss the behavioral evidence that had led to this discovery, with Spencer taking the lead as he mentions its possible tie to ‘scrupulosity,’ a type of OCD centering on religious obsession.

As you continue though, and you know you shouldn’t take it to heart, but the way that Gideon’s constantly questioning your ideas and not Spencer’s was starting to make you feel uneasy. As if you were a bug under his careful scrutiny.

Or was it the way that you sat?

Granted, there were only three chairs in the area, so you had absentmindedly sat on the bit of the desk that had been uncluttered. No one else seemed to be bothered by it, and certainly not Spencer, who had cleared the area nearest to him just for you.

So what…?

Being the non-confrontational kind, but not one to be pushed around, you take a mental departure from the discussion and start thinking about what else could be useful to the case. Bringing something new to the table that’s relevant.

You try to think if there had been anyone that stood out to you. Spencer had mentioned religious obsession, and the call from earlier definitely supported the idea, but you couldn’t single out one theology student that would fit that criteria.

You tried getting up from where you sat. Pacing has always helped you gather your thoughts, but you didn’t even need to take those few steps when you felt the cold sweat run down your back.

And it seemed like Gideon had noticed it. “What is it?”

You turned to slowly face the rest of them. “I think I know who it might be.” You groan as you think about it.

“And it’s not a he.” If you thought about this too late and another fire is happening right now–

—-------

It wasn’t until you were on the flight home that you felt like you could breathe easy again. You didn’t have to be near Gideon anymore, giving you the side eye every time you were the least bit close to his protege.

You could just exist silently while you think about what to write in your report.

It wasn’t Spencer’s fault, nor his mentor’s, you thought as you stared at the somewhat empty file in your hand.

You’re sure that Reid didn’t mean to take credit for the theory that you had essentially spelled out for him, and you’re also sure that Gideon was just a little uncomfortable with how unprofessional you might’ve seemed.

Looking all cozied up with his golden boy. That had to be the only reason why he practically ignored you, but congratulated the boy-genius.

You sigh and wonder if you’ll ever get on his good side. Maybe you just needed to work a little harder.

As you nod at your resolve, it's your mentor that takes a seat in front of you.

“Congratulations on your second case.” You’re still a little starstruck, getting to work with him, but you manage out a polite, ‘thank you’ as a response.

You try to make yourself look busy by rereading the other file that had been completed.

You already made a fool of yourself in front of one of your seniors, you didn't want to mess up in front of him too. Hotch could–

“I meant it, by the way.”

You look up at him again. Eyes wide in question, and perhaps fear, as you realize you don’t understand what he’s talking about.

“You were focused on that calendar more than any of us, even before we landed in Arizona. You recognized the pattern before you even knew what it meant. And that definitely helped.”

“Oh.” Is all you could say, because what else could you have said?

A small laugh leaves your mouth. He recognized you for your efforts. Made it known that he saw what you saw, and that what you saw was helpful.

Without the usual mention of the boy-genius.

It was a moment just for you.

A moment where you vowed to work harder. Smarter.

And the moment you knew that SSA Aaron Hotchner was the best leader that you could ever have.

“Oh and agent?” Both you and Spencer look back to see your supervisor, but you see that it’s you that he’s singling out. “A private word, if you please.”

You nod without a second thought, despite not knowing what this other meeting could possibly be for. You were just as clueless as you were about the one earlier.

What you weren’t clueless about was how you felt towards your situation. You had been assigned to work with Spencer so often that you were starting to get sick of it.

Not a slight to his company at all, on the contrary! You actually enjoyed it! He was a fascinating and accomplished young man that charmed his way into your heart with his little fun facts and references.

And if that weren’t enough, Morgan hadn’t exactly coined the nickname “pretty boy” just for laughs.

Dr. Reid lived up to that expectation.

With his soft brown hair, bright, inquisitive eyes, and how cozy he always seemed in his clothes— how could anyone dislike him?

No, it was the attention that you were getting that was starting to frustrate you. Or perhaps the wrong kind of attention, would be more appropriate.

Lately, it seemed as if you were only being treated as an extension of Dr. Reid. As if you were always attached at the hip, and that you always knew where he had to be and what it was that he was doing.

You don’t know where all this came from. Not even a little bit.

All you know is that it was slowly starting to rub you the wrong way, and that you wanted a semi-permanent departure from the situation.

But that didn’t happen because Spencer had just unknowingly shut down your only chance.

You digress, and put your feelings aside for now. You were at work, after all.

“What did you want to discuss with me sir?”

Hotch makes the effort to clear away his desk for a bit, and places his hands on top of it. Grasping them together as he looks at you with his usual stern expression.

“We’ll be issuing you a gun soon. You’re qualified to own one after having enough hours on the field, and you’ve shown a respectable record, so please keep that in mind.”

Your eyes widen in glee. Those were just a few words, but you couldn’t help how your heart swelled in pride at them.

It wasn’t the gun that you were happy about, it was what it represented.

Being issued a gun by the bureau signified that you were officially part of the team, and that you were deemed a responsible enough member of the organization to be trusted with it.

You should be honored to be given this chance and yet it felt sort of wrong— something didn’t sit right with you.

“Sir, with all due respect, while I’m thankful for the opportunity, I don’t see why I’m being issued a gun when Dr. Reid has still yet to have one.”

He sighs at that, as if he had hoped that you wouldn’t ask, but he tells you anyway.

“Dr. Reid has failed numerous firearm qualifications and will be retaking his test soon.”

You nod slowly, still not quite seeing the relation between the two scenarios.

He sighs again, but this time, with a small, tight smile.

“We’ve been thinking that it would instill more confidence in him if you knew your way around a gun. He seems to have a great respect for you, and seeing you have one might help him a bit.”

You smile at that and respond good-naturedly. “Duly noted, sir! I’ll make sure he has the confidence that could rival even Derek Morgan’s.”

He shows you a polite smile and dismisses you promptly. Getting back to his stack as you nod and you make your way to his door.

It shouldn’t bother you, and it doesn’t, you think.

A job’s a job.

If it wasn’t going to be you, it was going to be someone else. You just so happened to have been given this particular job due to the presumed rapport you had with one another, and you saw no problem with that.

You trust your boss, and it’s not like you dislike Spencer, so it shouldn’t bother you at all.

And yet it does, ever so slightly, when you see Morgan and Elle, crowding and cooing around him like he was a baby when you make it out of Hotch’s office.

You’re confused at what it is that you’re feeling, but you hear something akin to the word, ‘math.’ What could they be teasing him about now?

“Is something going on here?” You hope they don’t see how hard you’re trying to keep a straight face. Looking to and fro.

You’re at work now, and you can’t let your emotions get the best of you.

"Was just caught trying to add my stack onto pretty boy's plate." Morgan says with his usual chuckle.

You detect a slight hint of something else hidden somewhere in there, probably another inside joke that you weren’t in on, but you can’t bring yourself to pay it any mind.

So you let out a small, ‘hm’ to let them know that you heard what he said, and you eventually turn your back to them to reach your desk.

You don’t see the way Derek shoots you a knowing look.

And you don’t see the way Spencer looks at you longingly either. Too busy burying yourself in another stack of files, sure to go overtime once again, to drown out the unknown feeling that was welling up inside you.

Did you hate Spencer Reid?

“Isn’t it amazing he knows what he knows and he’s only twenty-four?” Gideon huffs out and gives Aaron a small smile in response.

“Imagine what he’ll know by fifty.”

It’s times like these that you remember that he does have the capability to smile. Well of course he’s smiling, his surrogate son looked like he was having the time of his life, blowing out those trick candles.

Everyone crowded around him.

Everyone but you and the two seniors.

You want this moment to be something that everyone can enjoy, and you know just how much it would sour Gideon’s mood if you were right over there. So you opted to take your place right next to Hotch.

And Hotch seemed to notice that.

“Why aren’t you with the rest of them?”

You really don’t want to answer that right now. Not when the reason is staring right back at you, waiting for your response as well.

“I can see the party just fine from here.” Is what you settle for, and look right at Spencer’s still heaving back to make a point.

Before he could question it any further, he’s called to the other side of the room where a phone call was waiting for him.

Reid takes the opportunity to excuse himself and take his place by Gideon’s side.

“You having fun?” The elder asks and he nods slowly at that.

“Yes, definitely. I am definitely– having fun.”

He punctuates each pause with a tight-lipped smile and a snark that is just itching to break free and you can’t help the little chuckle that escapes you. As it happens however, you quickly try to hide it behind a cough and a cover of your mouth.

You’re right next to Gideon, you need to look professional, you think, no matter how cute or ridiculous Spencer might look.

You quickly try to find Hotch with your eyes to ground yourself. Trying your best to zone out and not pay attention to the conversation happening right beside you, but it’s getting increasingly harder to do that.

“I wonder where the cake was from.” The younger one asks absentmindedly, but you feel the twitch of your fingers at the question.

Gideon subtly looks over to you, but he doesn’t answer him. Instead asking if he made a wish yet, which quickly changes the trajectory of Spencer’s questions.

You let out a breath of relief, but the moment is short-lived when you see the solemn expression on Hotch’s face.

“Sorry guys. Party’s over.” You put your game face on, and quickly excuse yourself from them to grab your go bag.

What you didn’t see was that Spencer had failed to notice Gideon’s gaze because he had been looking somewhere else.

He had been looking at you. Waiting for you to greet him with a happy birthday like the rest of them did. You were the only one that wasn’t there, after all.

But you had already been looking at Hotch, and that, he notices.

***

The more cases you work for the BAU, the more you realize how much of your work isn't just the investigation anymore.

You feel it when you still see the victims’ faces when you close your eyes.

Feel it in the hammer of your chest when you have to face off another degenerate with a gun.

Feel it in the tenseness of your shoulders when either Spencer, or Gideon, or Hotch, or any of them are looking at you because if they even have the slightest idea that you’re not doing fine, you’ll lose your place on the team.

If you even had one, that is.

It was a strange position you were in. Everyone was expecting you to be boy-genius’ sidekick or something. Having all these ideas of you being someone bigger and stronger than you really were.

Someone that was smart enough to show him just where to look, but not smart enough for the rest of the local PD to listen to because for some reason, it was more believable when it came out of Dr. Reid’s mouth.

You still remember how Morgan rolled his eyes at you when you corrected him. ‘It’s a ballad, actually. Not a poem.’

What’s worse was that the only person that didn’t seem to have this expectation of you was Spencer himself because he had no idea that any of this was even going on.

He didn’t ask for this.

He was just doing his job, just like you were.

You’re officially off duty, now that you’re on the flight back to Quantico. So you unfortunately no longer have the excuse to shut away your feelings for the sake of your profession.

You sigh and figure that maybe a little shut eye could help, but that idea is completely thrown out the window when you hear the soft pads of rubber-soled shoes shuffling on the jet’s carpeted floor.

You look up to see the less than comfortable posture of one Dr. Spencer Reid. Obviously caught between trying to go back to the main space, and just staying near the tail where you were.

Your heart warms at the sight and you invite him over.

You were thankful that he took up on your offer.

Even under the harsh lights of the craft, you still notice just how soft Spencer looks. Even softer now that he’s donning your gift, and rambling on and on about how cool the color purple was to him. Gesticulating with his hands in a frenzy and you relax for what feels like the first time in months.

If you didn’t work together, you realize, you could’ve been a lot closer. He’s everything that you liked about a guy. He was smart and sensible, with a childlike wonder for anything and everything.

There was an endless amount of things that he could accomplish, with a brain like that.

And he was only twenty-four.

He was just like you, so why weren’t you closer? You ask yourself this as you sigh out, but you immediately find your answer in the form of his and your mentor looking right back at you. Whispering amongst themselves and occasionally shaking their heads.

Looking just like they had earlier when you had brought in Spencer’s cake before the rest of BAU had showed up for duty.

You know that there’s no way Reid can see them. Not when his back is quite literally turned to them, so you opt to ignore it. Maybe it was all in your head.

And maybe working with him so often wasn’t so bad.

After all, how could you hate Spencer Reid when he’s this happy from just a scarf?

You see the scarf again, soon enough.

Maybe a little too soon.

The BAU had received an urgent call to McAllister, Virginia to investigate the supposed work of a satanic cult. Two bodies that had sustained identical blunt-force trauma to the head were recovered, one skeleton and one fresh, but the team was debating the involvement of the cult in the case.

“You're saying that there's no such thing as devil worship?” Elle asks with disbelief, but is quickly answered by Gideon.

“Not at all. But most of the satanism that we've seen is juveniles damaging property, desecrating churches, cemeteries,” He shrugs a little as he pauses.

“Besides,” you add. “Satanists, removed from religious stigma, are just ethical hedonists. They reject the perceived oppression of the Christian community by building their own, and indulging in more worldly pleasures. They’re not inherently violent.”

The elder nods at that, and you feel a bit proud of yourself in that moment.

“And to my knowledge, there has never been a proven case of a satanic ritual killing in the United States.”

“Well, maybe there is now.”

***

The scene is certainly interesting.

Gideon, Reid, JJ, and you were curious about the state of the older body, so you had made your way down the steep slope to check up on it. You get acquainted with the local sheriff while you’re there too and he explains that they found the body when they were doing their own investigation.

Just seventy-five feet away from where they found Adam.

“It's a man. The male pelvis is more narrow and the opening at the bottom is heart-shaped, as opposed to oval.” Spencer announces as he prods at the body’s clothes with a stick, but he is immediately distracted by another element.

“Melted wax?”

“Candle wax?” JJ asks as she leans forward a bit to see it too. Spencer agrees.

“Candles are used in rituals.”

“They’re also used on birthday cakes.” Gideon is no longer interested in the scene and looks for something else that could be nearby.

You, however, notice something different about the body. You were expecting it to look different.

If you were blitzed from behind, gravity tells you that you should fall forward. Chest on the ground.

But this skeleton’s chest was facing up.

“Actually, they were originally used to protect the birthday celebrant from demons for the coming year. As a matter of fact, down to the fourth century, Christianity rejected the birthday celebration as a pagan ritual.”

You nod, seemingly not paying attention, but you add on to that. Much to Spencer's delight.

“Yeah, they thought that evil spirits lurked around the days of major changes so they lit candles for every year that had passed. Anway, sir, do you happen to have a good picture of Adam’s dead body?”

The sheriff narrows his eyes at the two of you, then looks at JJ who only shakes her head with a smile.

“What kind of kids did you bring out here?”

***

You’re surprised it took you this long to actually feel like you needed a gun.

Hotch, as always, had paired you and Spencer together.

Again.

But this time, it was to go out on the field.

You had been left behind with him to continue searching the Jenson’s house. To look for anything that could concretely point to the group being responsible if the case ever went to court, but you and Reid found nothing.

And it was expected that you would find nothing. You and him had agreed that it was just far too convenient if you did, but then that kid— Cory— He asked you two to check the abandoned house farther up.

A house that you’re pretty sure not even his father knew about.

And that’s when you got the idea. It was dark, law enforcers weren’t nearby, and you were trying to trace the tracks of an unsub that lived in an area only locals wouldn’t get lost in. You had every right to feel nervous.

Especially when you had that sinking feeling that the unsub was the one guiding you right where he wanted you to be.

So when he led you to a house that had the goth kids’ insignia written in bright, red paint, you knew that you had to play along.

But you also knew that whatever may or may not have been up there, the team wouldn’t want Spencer to see.

You didn’t want him to see.

So you look back at him, and nod. Giving him a look that told him that you would check the house alone, that you had a plan, and that he should stay exactly where he was until you gave him the okay clear.

By the time you got back down, he knew you saw it.

You saw the girl, and you knew you had to get Spencer out of here.

Fast.

“Was she in there?” Cory grabbed you by the shoulder, and you could only gulp.

You had to think quickly, but you were also still so shocked to see her in– whatever state it was that you saw.

And then this kid was just pretending like he didn't know jackshit about it.

“She was in there.” Was all you could breathe out, vacantly looking past the kid that eventually let you go.

You instinctively reach for your phone, speed dialing Hotch, but the service was so bad up here that it wouldn’t even go through. You had to clear the area, in case this goes haywire.

With no other choice, you said what you thought could get him out of there.

“Dr. Reid, I need you to check back downhill and see if the deputies have returned.” He looks at you incredulously.

“What? No! I can’t leave you here– ”

“We need the rest of the sheriffs and the crime scene team here.” Looking dead into his eyes, he still doesn’t relent.

You need to calm yourself down. The more he thinks you’re not okay, the more difficult it’s going to be to convince him to leave.

He whispers your name as if it’ll persuade you. Grasping your shoulders like Cory did, albeit more gently.

“Right now, you’re experiencing an acute stress response, also known as the fight-or-flight response. It would be much safer for all of us to–” “Do as you’re told.”

He freezes, but he’s still looking right at you. Eyes shaking in what you assume to be fear or worry, but he eventually nods and leaves. Constantly looking over his shoulder at you and he trips a little because of it.

You make sure that he’s out of sight before turning back to the football-genius.

You saw the gun he wasn’t so subtly concealing in his pants, and there was no way you were going to risk him hurting anyone else. You included.

You position yourself right in front of the house. If he makes a break for it and runs in there, it’ll be game over for just one cop and one manic robber. So you try to keep the open forest his only escape route.

That’s when you start cornering him.

Telling him that you knew what the profile said about the killer and how it all seemed too good to be true. How the crime had to have been done by someone who was just as smart and connected as him.

How it could have only been done by him.

What you failed to take into account however was how Spencer would have definitely come back to check on you and report his findings.

Your heart drops as he stumbles into the fray.

Which is why you’re here right now.

Gun drawn at the kid, with his own resting right on your friend’s head.

“She shouldn't have gotten mixed up in all this, it was his run! I didn’t mean to hurt her, but make no mistake– I will shoot your boy right now.”

You raise your hands and drop your gun in surrender. Scared of what he might do to him if you don’t.

—-

You hear Aaron Hotchner shout for you as he approaches uphill and you sigh.

You’re fully expecting to hear a lecture, but not the look of deep impatience that graces your supervisor’s face.

“Agent, I hope you understood what just happened.”

You shrink under his gaze, but he doesn’t let up. “Your actions during this operation put both you, and Reid, in serious danger.”

“Sir, but we handled it. I even made extra sure to evacuate Dr. Reid from the premises, I just wasn’t expecting him to come back and–”

“But that doesn't change the fact that he had a gun on Reid mere moments before you took him down. You were antagonizing him and while you may have been successful in apprehending him, what you did also put Reid at risk.”

This was unfair.

He was talking like you hadn’t had the same gun pointed at you too.

Like he hadn't made an effort to shoot at you.

There was nothing you could’ve said that could stop him, and you acted as fast as you could but you knew Hotch wouldn’t listen to any of it.

So you stayed quiet. Nodding along in understanding as he gave you a rundown of everything that you could’ve done better, and anything that you could’ve said differently.

Things that, he said, you could’ve done better while trying to keep yourself calm.

Tring to keep yourself calm after discovering a dead body, and being threatened by someone that had your friend at gunpoint.

What’s worse is that not even a moment after Hotch left you to talk to the rest of the team, Morgan came and it looked like he had his fair share of complaints too.

“Sir Derek Morgan, I understand that you might be mad–” “Oh, so you know I’m mad?” You curse and groan out childishly, you know that, but you just really wanted to leave now.

“Kid, I get that he jumped you, but you can’t just go rogue and expect everyone else to know what you’re doing.”

You scoff.

“I didn’t go ‘rogue,’ I sent out Spencer to get backup so I could handle him myself. He would’ve been out of the line of fire. I did that to protect him–”

“No. You did that to play hero.”

You couldn’t believe what you were hearing.

“Splitting up and acting on your own like that wasn’t heroic. It was reckless. Do you know how much sleep he’s losing right now and how much more he’s going to lose just when all of this hits?”

You shake your head humorlessly. Why is it always about him?

You’re not responsible for knowing anything and everything about him, you’ve barely known each other for a year. Why is it suddenly part of your job description to be boy-genius' caretaker?

“He’s been having nightmares,” he says your name with a weight in it.

“Don’t give him any more reasons to stay up at night.”

And he just leaves you right there. Going up to the very guy you were talking about, who was being checked by the only medic the county had on standby. Probing to see if he was alright.

And he seemed like it. If the way his face lit up at Morgan’s embrace or the way that he smiled when JJ congratulated him was anything to go by.

Or the way that Hotch patted his back to soothe him.

Or the way that Elle seemed to be intently listening to what he was saying–

He’s not your responsibility, so why the hell should you care?

God, it just wasn't fair.

And you know that. You know that he didn’t ask for any of this to happen, and that you should be happy that he’s fine–

But you can’t bring yourself to look at him for any longer. Not when he goes to look at you with that tight-lipped smile and raised brows that makes him look like he can’t do anything without you.

Not when it’s starting to look like he knows exactly what he’s doing.

Not when it starts to feel like he’s doing this on purpose.

You’re starting to hate Spencer Reid.

After Morgan knocks some sense into the camera man that had been spying on the pair, Elle is the one that gives you his camera and makes her way to Spencer first. You know exactly what should be on that film, but you just wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt.

That maybe if you didn’t look at it any closer, you wouldn’t see anything that could make you hate him more than you already do.

That he had been behaving and just being the good, perfect boy that Gideon and Hotch, and everyone else, seemed to rave on and on about.

But you didn’t even need a proper light to see just what was on it.

And you made sure he knew exactly what he had done.

“I– I fell in–”

“Doctor Spencer Reid!” Seeing you walking towards him with an anger he had never seen directed towards anyone before made him freeze where he stood. Cowering under your gaze.

“What in the fuck was going on inside you goddamn head, huh?” Elle had already left by then to talk to the camera guy with Morgan just a few feet away to leave you two to it.

She knew what was going to happen, and she was going to let it. It needed to.

“It was an accident, I swear! She pulled me in and I—” He tried to reason, but you were having none out of it.

“And you what? Decided that then and there was the right place to eat her face off? Might I remind you that you are still on duty and this behavior is completely unacceptable!”

If this had been you, this is exactly what you would’ve been lectured about.

But Spencer feels his brows knitting together and he shakes his head in confusion.

“You’re-- not jealous about me kissing Lila?”

“You think I’m what?!”

You cannot believe the gall of this man.

Cannot comprehend how oblivious he seems to the severity of the situation.

And for what, because some hot blonde just happened to give him the slightest bit of attention? That since the rest of the team wasn’t around, he could go ahead and play house with some model and waste all his training on the field for nothing?

You shake your head incredulously at the thought.

“I don't know just what the hell is going on in that fuckass head of yours, Doctor, but that little bone-headed stunt that you just pulled? Could’ve cost you your life and hers.”

Spencer tried to quell your anger. Tried to apologize, but you just kept going. Seemingly growing more and more frustrated at his feeble attempts.

“I couldn’t give less of a shit who you do and don’t kiss in your spare time, Mr. 187. But let me remind you of something in case that brain of yours got all scrambled from exchanging extracellular fluids with Miss Archer,”

No longer caring for his aversion for germs, because he certainly stopped caring about that earlier today, you brought your index and middle finger up to rest dead center on his forehead.

He closed his eyes and whimpered at your touch.

“You are still being pursued by a psychotic killer who is going around, shooting people in the head. We’re lucky that the guy in the bushes was just some sorry voyeur doing his goddamn job, but if it had been anyone else, you would’ve been fucking–!”

Spencer feels the contact get ripped away from him suddenly, and he instinctively chases after it.

The realization of how insane that must’ve been however, makes him open his eyes.

He sees Morgan pulling you into his chest as he strides towards Lila’s house. He sees you struggle against the hold, but as his friend keeps shushing you and repeating your name from inside, you eventually calm down and relax. Disappearing into his form as Derek’s back now faces him and he can’t see you anymore.

The boy-genius feels his heart clench at the sight. A feeling not so dissimilar to what he felt when the blonde first started kissing him.

He didn’t know what to do then. He knew what he was doing was wrong, but some small, sick part of him just wanted your attention on him so badly that he was willing to do whatever it took for that to happen.

He had been waiting for so long–

But as he recalls how you were seething at him, how even though he had your eyes right where he wanted them to be, all he could feel was the heavy cloak of shame burdening him. Weighing on his form like the weight of his wet, pool bacteria-infected clothes.

And something tells him that no amount of bathing or scrubbing would ever rid him of it.

He doesn’t even notice the rest of the team coming back to apprehend the trespasser until Elle picks up the roll of film that you had dropped when you were dragged away. Holding it out for him to take.

He extends his hand out of instinct, but he crushes it soon after he recognizes what’s on it.

“You’re welcome, by the way.” Is all that she says as she leaves him frozen there too.

***

Meanwhile, you were still in Derek’s arms. Crying like some young little fragile thing and you hated it.

You didn’t even know why you were crying anymore because even you knew that breaking a code of conduct was nothing to shed a few tears over.

“Come on, sweet girl, talk to me.” Morgan coos as he continues to hug you, which makes you sob all the harder. Embarrassed that an authority figure just saw you lose your shit on the job, so you shake your head no.

He’s probably going to tell Hotch and you’re going to get transferred out–

“We can’t do anything if you don’t tell me what’s wrong.”

But somehow those exact words had you spilling your heart out on to him. Doing so in such a frantic state as if this was a one-time opportunity that you were never going to be granted ever again.

So much so that all your insecurities came out of your mouth in word vomit.

How you tried so hard to do everything right. How you fought tooth and nail just to make it onto the team.

How even though you were just as young as Reid, everyone else seemed to dote on him more.

How everyone expected you to know just as much, if not more, than him so that he wouldn’t feel so out of place, and how every time that you didn’t, everyone only seemed to care because you had put him in danger.

How none of your efforts were ever noticed because they would either be overshadowed by Spencer’s, or brushed aside because it was not enough to make up for something that could’ve gotten him hurt.

And most of all, how bad you felt because none of it was his fault, and you knew you were being unfair to him.

And Morgan listened to all of it. Listening and occasionally apologizing when he knew that he had been guilty of one or two of those transgressions.

Patting your back and giving you all the comfort that he could before he knew you had to refocus on the case.

When you see Spencer again, his eyes remain low and you can’t bring yourself to apologize in that instant because you were still on duty and work had to be done.

No matter how sorry and how pathetic you felt, it had to wait.

What you don’t see is how his gaze lingers on his friend’s hand. Absent-mindedly moving up and down your arm in, what he understands to be, a protective manner.

—————

He was being a distraction. A liability. To the case, or to Lila, or to you, you’re not sure anymore, but you needed him out. So you did exactly what you were hired at the BAU to do.

You’ve always thought the art piece on Lila’s wall was bizarre. And now that you’re looking at it again with a much clearer mind, you finally see why.

You had asked for everyone in the room to take the wall apart, after gaining Lila’s approval, and you all pieced together the final clue.

A mural depicting the birth of the star that is now Lila Archer.

After Spencer points out that the man in the mural was his ex-classmate, Parker Dunley, the team sees no further reason to question his involvement and makes the preparations to leave.

Yet something is gnawing at you, telling you that this can’t be it.

And at this point? No one is going to listen to a theory you have because nobody listens to you once Spencer says anything.

So you suggest the next best thing.

“Excuse me?” Your unit chief raises his eyebrows at your suggestion, but you can tell that it’s mostly a formality.

“Sir, with all due respect, it is in our best interest to relieve Dr. Reid of his position as Miss Archer’s bodyguard. He is now a potential target, and he knows Parker Dunley best among all of you. He would be most useful to the investigation if he joined the others.”

Spencer makes no attempt to contest, wanting nothing more than to just get this over with and talk to you when it’s all done, and Lila doesn’t say anything either. Just wanting the ‘traitor’ to leave her house and never come back.

Hotch senses this and sighs. He looks over to Gideon, who looks like he couldn’t care any less, and then back to you.

“Alright then. You’re switching places with Reid. We’ll let you know if anything happens.”

He then discusses with the others that he’ll be joining JJ at the local PD while Morgan, Elle, Reid, and Gideon will be closing in on Dunley.

So that left you alone with Lila, which was going a lot easier than you had expected it to.

“I’m sorry about your boyfriend. If I knew you were a thing, I wouldn’t have tried so hard to kiss him.”

She seemed so guilty as she said it and you just shook your head, but you noted the use of the term, “try.”

“Oh Miss Archer, please don’t apologize. He's not my boyfriend. I was just really upset that he could’ve gotten you hurt when he was supposed to be protecting you.”

You move to stand a little closer to her, still keeping a fair amount of distance so you wouldn’t crowd her.

"Besides, I think he's more into you than you think."

Under more normal circumstances, you supposed that they could work. Spencer most likely only hesitated because he was holding on to some semblance of professionalism he could maintain with the beautiful woman.

In another life, maybe this would've panned out differently.

“I saw the way he looked at you, you know?” Now that interests you and you tilt your head at her.

“Like he hated me?”

Her laugh was empty as she shook her head. “You’re just like him.” Is all she said.

But before you could ask any further, a call had interrupted you.

You looked at the caller ID and saw that it was the very guy you were talking about. ‘Dr. Reid,’ it read. The sight makes you sigh.

You know him well enough that he would never call you for work, and that this must have been for something personal.

‘Stay professional,’ you told yourself, so you drop the call.

If it had really been important, someone else would call you.

As soon as you move to put your phone down however, it rang again. You checked it and fair enough, this time it was from Derek Morgan.

You bring the phone to your ear.

“Hello?”

“Sweet girl, listen to me. We have a name, and it’s ‘Maggie Lowe.’ We’re on our wa—Christ man—we're on our way back over there, okay? Stay put and we’ll let Hotch and JJ know.”

There’s shouting from his end that worries you, but you nod with a hum and end the call.

You turned back to Lila and asked her very hurriedly if she knew anyone by that name, and her reaction tells you everything.

You try to tell her that she’s the unsub and just while she’s still confused at your sudden change in demeanor, her phone rings.

She shows you that it’s ‘Mags’, her friend, and you immediately try to calm her down and ask her to keep her friend on the phone. Expressing softly, but with great urgency, that it is imperative they keep her on the line.

Just as Lila answers, you immediately dial Garcia. “Oracle of Quantico, speak if you deign to hear the truth.”

“Miss Garcia, I need an emergency trace to a cell phone from Lila Archer’s phone.”

You hear her gasp a little, reasonably concerned that you had been speaking so softly. A stark contrast to your usually strong and sure voice, but she steels her own and lets you know that she’s on it.

You recite to her Lila’s phone number, having memorized it from her manager, and you instinctively look back at her to see her still pacing on the phone.

You try to smile warmly, mentally patting her on the back for her efforts, and she nods back in response. Somewhat thankful for yours.

As you wait, you suddenly remember Spencer’s phone call from earlier. Was this why he called?

Fuck, what if he wondered off and had been calling for backup but you just dropped the phone on him?

Maggie could be anywhere. It would be no surprise to you if she had actually gone back to find Dunley to eradicate any leads that could trace back to her. What if she was–

You’re quick to tune back into your own call however when you hear Penelope halt her typing and call out your name.

“Is Lila’s address 6028 Pike Street?”

You don’t like where this is going. “Yeah.”

“She’s calling from inside the house.” You sigh, in relief? In fear?

“I’m sending you backup right now, please be safe, my love.” She says with a tremor in her voice and you drop the call immediately. Catching the attention of the blonde in front of you.

“Lila–” but then you hear a shout and a thud from another room and you shake your head. You didn’t need to ask how she got in the house because that wasn’t important anymore.

The profile was. And the profile said that it was an erotomanic killer.

You could work with that.

—----

It didn’t take long for you to find Maggie. Well, you'd laugh if you could, because it was more like she found you.

On the other end of her gun.

With Lila in her arms.

There was no way that you could stall for however long it would take for the rest of your team to get here, so your best shot at surviving this was to talk her out of it.

“Maggie, put the gun down–”

“Don’t call me Maggie, you don’t know me.” She spit out, venom in her voice as she tried ushering Lila out with her.

“I know what it’s like.”

You don’t know what the fuck you were saying, but you were panicking. It wasn’t your first time being held at gunpoint, it had happened so often that Hotch even claimed you were always begging for it.

But this was different. None of the right words were coming to you.

You had to think of a way to deal with this, fast, and you didn’t know how to make it believable enough.

“No you don’t, little girl. Don’t pretend like you do.”

“But I do!” You put your gun down in a panic and held your hands up in surrender.

“I know what it’s like to l-” your mouth went dry. “To love someone– someone that doesn’t love you back.”

You seriously don’t know what the fuck you’re saying.

Maggie laughs at what you say though.

“Well it sucks to be you, but my baby loves me. Isn’t that right?” She makes a show of tucking Lila’s hair behind her ear, but even through her fear, she denies her friend.

“I don’t, Mags.” Maggie’s jaw tightens at that.

“Yes you do, I know you do– Don’t act like you don’t, you stupid, ungrateful–” you cut her off.

“She doesn’t, Miss Lowe. And I know you know that.” She shakes her head, but still keeps her gun on Lila.

You push a little harder. “I know because I know what it’s like to love someone. To meet your match.” You approach her just a little.

She shifts the gun to you now, but you continue to push.

“I know what it feels like to get tunnel vision. Where nothing matters, not even yourself, as long as it makes her happy. Keeps her safe. ”

You look her in the eye, and you can tell that it’s not enough. You need to switch gears, but you can’t think of anything else to do.

“And– And I know what it’s like–to feel everything so strongly—so much so that you don’t even know what’s happening until it just is.”

You realize it now. It was all you

It was never about the teasing of your teammates, never about the expectation that Hotch or Gideon had.

You never hated Spencer. You just wanted to belong. You just wanted to be treated like how he was.

The realization makes your eyes water.

You didn’t even notice it, but as more and more words fall free from your mouth, all you can think about is him.

About how you’re sorry. About how you never meant to hurt him. About how he doesn’t deserve your frustrations and that everything you did was just for him.

About how you could never hate anyone as loveable as him.

You shake the thought away. Hands still up high.

Maggie’s eyes narrow, her finger twitching on the trigger. “You think you can understand me, huh? Talk your way out?”

You shake your head. “No, but I think I can reach you,”

You take a step forward.

“I thought I hated him, Maggie. I thought he was doing it all on purpose. Kept thinking, ‘we were so similar.’ So why was it that being smart was special, and made everyone treasure him, but not me? And I think, maybe–”

You take another.

“Maybe I was just scared. Scared that I wasn’t good enough. That I would always be overshadowed.”

Maggie’s grip on the gun tightens. “So what? You think that makes us the same?”

“No,” you say softly, taking another careful step forward.

“But I do think that you’re the type of person that’s willing to do anything, no matter how desperate, to be seen.”

Maggie’s expression wavers, but the gun remains steady. “You don’t know anything about me.”

“I know enough,” you insist. “I know that hurting Lila won’t fill that void. It won’t give you what you’re looking for.”

Maggie’s hand trembles. “I would never hurt her--”

“Yes, you will. You will because you’re a danger to her, but that can change. You don’t have to hurt anyone anymore.”

Maggie’s face contorted with rage.

“Shut up! You don’t know anything!”

When Maggie goes to shoot at you, you tackle the gun out of her hand. Wrestling her to the ground as you did.

You look behind you and tell Lila to hurry and grab your gun from off the floor and leave, and she does just that.

Not even sparing you, nor her ‘friend,’ a glance as she makes her escape to where you hope your team now was.

From outside, the team sees Lila holding a gun like a bomb in her hands, and running into the arms of Spencer Reid. The others that were still in their car quickly try to get out. To understand the situation, but then a single gunshot is heard from inside the house.

The rest of the team rushes in.

Due to the results of my poll, there will be a part two! One where it's all from Spencer's point of view + the aftermath of this case lol

Please let me know what you think of this one though!! Or any ideas you might want to see in the second part, or literally anything at all--

Like my work? Consider tipping me!!

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid angst #spencer reid #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds fanfic #criminal minds fic #spencer reid fic #dr spencer reid #spencer reid x mentored by hotch! reader

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daistea · 5 months ago

Note

Thank you for the food the fic was so nice! Your latest Mithrun fic made me think of the scenario more. Imagine Kabru, someone aware of elven culture, heard of us doing this the first time we did it from a friend who overheard it. He tries to find us to worn and educate just to find out it was too late and defeatedly explain to the other elves that tallman don't have that culture just to clear us. Aftermath of it is so hilarious. Also an alternative scenario for this setting I can think of is a random elf accepting our offer, or just someone who doesn't know about Mithrun feelings towards us, like Flamela and just exploit us and Mithrun later learning about it.

I love this prompt so much, thank u

2500 words!

tw mild nsfw implications

Mithrun x Tall-man reader

sequel to this

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Kabru scoffed at the notion that secrets and rumors were like feathers on the wind, uncatchable. He was great at catching feathers. He used them to stuff his pillow which he slept so soundly on at night. Rumors were wild dogs, but he had a leash and collar. He’d tamed beasts with bigger teeth.

(That was, of course, a metaphor, as Kabru could not literally handle things with big teeth, as exemplified from his time in the dungeon.)

A particular sort of secret reached his ears in the empty hallway of the castle. It was the kind of secret that raised hairs and inspired mortification, which were the best kind. Usually.

“Yeah, they asked to touch my ears,” Pattadol’s muffled voice was strained, tinged with embarrassment that Kabru could detect even through the door.

“Mine too,” Flamela drawled. A pause followed her words, then she continued, “Pervert.”

The two elves then moved onto a different subject consisting of Pattadol’s worries for diplomacy and Flamela’s dismissals of such worries. Kabru listened for a moment more before silently moving away. He stalked down the hallway with dark clouds rolling in within his mind.

You had asked Pattadol and Flamela if you could touch their ears.

Kabru put his hand to his chest and squeezed his eyes shut. He leaned against the wall, beneath a portrait of some old ruler from thousands of years ago. There was still so much dust in the castle, but the thickness in his chest wasn’t from allergies. You were his friend, and so innocent, so curious. You couldn’t have known the implications of touching an elf’s ear.

He had to speak to you immediately.

“Yeah, I figured that out.”

Kabru forced a smile and tilted his head. He was aware of how wide his eyes were, how he probably wasn’t doing a good job at hiding his shock and horror. He couldn’t bring himself to care at that moment as he watched you casually take a sip of your tea.

“You figured it out?” He asked. Kabru wasn’t sure whether to be mortified or proud.

“Oh yeah,” you slowly nodded as a triumphant smile rolled across your lips. When you opened your eyes to return his gaze, there was a spark within them that did not bode well. “I figured a lot of things out, actually.”

He took a moment to study your expression. The half-lidded quality of your eyes, the slight pink upon your cheek, the tilt of your chin; realization hit him like one of Marcille’s explosion spells.

“You got laid.”

You nodded proudly, “I got laid.”

“...Mithrun?”

“Yeah,” there was triumph in your voice.

Kabru tried his best to control his irritation. You were so casual about it, he could’ve throttled you. How unromantic, asking the man who was entirely too smitten with you: ‘can I touch one of the most sensitive parts of your body?’ And the audacity, the horror, of that actually working.

It was personally offensive to Kabru. He’d spent years building up his talent for wordplay and charm. Then, here you are, harassing poor elves. And what are the consequences of your curiosity and ignorance? Hot sex and a beautiful elf boyfriend.

Unfair.

There were other consequences, though. The thought of Flamela referring to you as a pervert was enough to cool the boiling in his blood.

“Okay, I’m going to help you,” he sent you a smile.

“I don’t think we need help,” you grimaced, “we both know what to do. But thanks.”

“I– I don’t mean with Mithrun. I mean in general. I’ll help you recover your reputation with the elves of Melini.”

You tilted your head, “My reputation? What do you mean?”

“Well, I heard Flamela call you a pervert earlier.”

“Oh,” taken aback, you sat up straight in your chair, hands tightening around your mug, “Honestly, I forgot I even asked Flamela.”

The feeling in Kabru’s chest could only be described as the slow decay of his soul. “Well, she remembers quite well.”

Another grimace, “Oops. It’s no big deal, though, I’m sure they all understand that I just didn’t know the implications of it.”

Your optimism was so cute.

“I’ll take care of it,” he took your hand and smiled, “don’t you worry.”

Kabru was used to elves. He’d grown up in the Northern Central Continent where elves were the dominant percentage of the population. Even in Utaya, elven culture strongly influenced daily life, architecture, and manners. His own adoptive mother was an elf.

Still, his experience did not negate the particular brand of nervousness that came from having nearly ten elves staring at him.

There was the first squad of the Canaries, Flamela– who was only visiting for the week– Fionil, and Marcille. All of them were absurdly pretty, confused, and pinning him to the wall with their unsettling stares. Flamela and Mithrun, at least, had the decency to look irritated at the interruption to their day.

Kabru forced his lead tongue to work, “Alright. You’re all probably wondering why I’ve called this meeting. First of all, let’s start with this: Raise your hand if you’ve been personally victimized by [name]’s curiosity concerning your ears.”

Everybody besides Fionil and Marcille raised their hands.

“Okay,” Kabru sent the two half elves a reassuring smile, “you two are free to go. Thanks for coming.”

“Are my ears not good enough?” Marcille muttered as she and Fionil left the empty noodle shop.

Mithrun had very generously given Kabru permission to hold the meeting in his noodle shop before the dinner rush. It was of humble size, but clean and quiet with the smooth scent of broth clinging to the walls and chairs. Kabru had a feeling that Mithrun only lent him the space out of curiosity after he’d mentioned that the meeting had to do with you, his partner.

Silent anticipation settled over the small group. Most of them were taut, seconds away from leaving if he said the wrong thing.

Kabru cleared his throat, “Alright. So, I just want to settle something. [Name] is not a pervert.”

There were those eyes again. They were like six lances ripping through his skin and affixing him to the wall.

“What?” Otta asked.

“They’re not a pervert,” he repeated as he raised his hands, “they’re just really curious and didn’t know any better. So, please, don’t judge them too harshly.”

Another beat of silence followed the plea. His gaze shifted to Mithrun, who was watching him carefully with his arms crossed over his chest and his legs stretched out in front of him. As their eyes met, Mithrun simply held the gaze, his face as blank as fresh parchment.

Kabru set aside the building urge to dissect Mithrun’s brain and instead focused on the rest of the group. “They really didn’t know any better,” he continued despite the rising murmurs among the group, “please forgive them. Tall-man culture is a lot different from yours.”

That seemed to please the elves. Collective negativity was always far more satisfying, he knew.

“Savages,” Cithis huffed.

“Idiots,” Flamela agreed.

Otta had the decency to argue, “They’re just innocent and ignorant. And it’s not like elven society openly discusses those kinds of things.”

True. Elven culture was confusing. Wearing revealing clothes and showing a lot of skin was normal for them, nothing to give a second glance to, though the subject of sex and arousal was deemed inappropriate. One was expected to maintain their dignity, wear a mask depicting perfection, and bring honor to their family. The nobility were commonly quite repressed, though commoners had a tendency to loosen their tongues among friends. Still, sexual education was not taught well, or often, despite their dwindling population. It seemed a bit counterproductive to Kabru, but he understood their reasoning and how centuries of superiority complexes brought them to that point.

“Did nobody actually tell them what it meant?” Pattadol asked.

Lycion sent her a raised brow, “Did you?”

“Well, no, but…”

“I did,” Mithrun interrupted. Every eye went to him, though he kept his gaze straight ahead and his arms crossed. He let a moment of silence pass before he continued, “They won’t be asking to touch anybody’s ears again.”

Flamela made a face, “So, did they touch your ears?”

“Yeah.”

He said it so casually, unbothered by the surprise and amusement of the other Canaries. Fleki leaned forward to clap a hand on his shoulder, which earned a little frown from him.

“Did you get laid, Captain?” Fleki asked, her grin toothy and stinking of mischief.

“Yeah.”

“I don’t need to know that!” Pattadol screeched, “You don’t have to answer every question honestly, you know! You’re allowed to keep secrets!”

“I know,” Mithrun shrugged.

He just didn’t want to keep that particular secret, Kabru knew. Mithrun would much rather that everybody recognize his stake, his claim, his flag buried at the top of the mountain he’d just climbed. It was easier that way.

Flamela, though, was Flamela.

She stood up, her fists clenched. “I’ve got things to do. I can’t waste time with you guys anymore.”

The first squad ignored her departure and instead started asking Mithrun a myriad of invasive questions, much to Pattadol’s distress. Yet, Kabru kept his gaze on Flamela. There was a spark in her eyes, one he recognized. It betrayed her intentions. As one of Mithrun’s closest friends and certified nosy-guy, he couldn’t help but subtly follow her out and into the street.

“Excuse me,” he said once the door shut behind him. A few feet away, Flamela stopped mid-step and whirled around with a glare.

“What?” She hissed.

“You’re going to do something you’ll regret, aren’t you?” Kabru sent her a look he hoped she’d recognize as concern. It was definitely concern, because anybody that planned to mess with you deserved that.

“I won’t regret it,” Flamela rolled her eyes, “I just… don’t understand why [name] would want to touch the Captain’s ears and not mine. Mine are longer and softer.”

“Are you really offended over this? Didn’t you tell them no already?”

“I’ve changed my mind!” She snapped.

“Are you just trying to get back at Mithrun for charging you full price for a bowl of noodles?”

She froze. Her mouth was open, shaped in a scowl. Her shoulders rose like the hackles of a cat. Despite the flicker of satisfaction that Kabru felt at having hit the mark, the hair on his arms stood to attention. He was seconds away from being tackled.

Fortunately, he side-stepped right as Flamela attacked.

Now on all fours on the dirt street, Flamela glared at him over her shoulder, “He should’ve given me a discount!”

“He isn’t obliged to.”

“He is!” She stood up and dusted off her uniform, “[Name] should want to feel my ears, they’re better.”

Kabru put his hands on his hips, “You’re just being competitive.”

“Shut up,” she hissed before brushing past him and stomping down the street.

Kabru glanced to the left just in time to see a glimpse of dark eyes staring out through a crack in the blinds. Judging by their black color and uneven manner, it was obviously Mithrun peeking at his conversation with Flamela. He made eye contact with the captain for a second before Mithrun narrowed his gaze dangerously and let go of the blinds. They snapped back into place, but Kabru couldn’t quite return to his natural state like that, not with the black-eyed storm brewing.

Flamela found you on the street. It wasn’t the best place for ear-rubbing, but her mind was on one track and she ardently refused to veer.

“I’ve reconsidered,” she said. There was no greeting or smile or easing in of the conversation.

You stopped mid-step and stared at her. “...Reconsidered what?”

“About you touching my ears.”

Did you ask to touch her ears? The memory wasn’t popping up for you. Yet, now that you knew what that actually meant to elves, you felt appropriately horrified by the statement. You were on a crowded street. If any passersby had a clue as to what Flamela said, they showed no indication. The elf population in Melini was small. The implications of ear touching most likely flew over their heads as it once did for you.

You managed a smile that you hoped was polite, that you hoped didn’t betray your embarrassment. “That’s okay, thanks.”

Flamela narrowed her eyes, “Why not? My ears are softer and longer than Mithrun’s. If you’re going to touch an elf’s ears, I would think you’d want the full experience.”

“I, uh, I got a pretty full experience with Mithrun. But thanks,” you offered another smile. Something about the way Flamela frowned hinted at deeper motives. You just had to ask, “Is this because Mithrun didn’t give you a discount on a bowl of noodles?”

She scoffed, “No!”

It was definitely about that.

As you prepared an explanation of your loyalties to Mithrun and his decision to not give her a discount, a flicker of mana filled the air, pricking at your skin. You knew that particular brand of magic. Your heart dropped into your stomach as the spot behind Flamela shifted like the surface of disturbed water. Half a second later, Mithrun appeared.

You felt yourself tense. Flamela was on a rant about discounts. Mithrun’s gaze was calm, too calm, dangerously calm. The only sign of his anger was the feral look in his good eye. In the past, Mithrun wouldn’t have cared about Flamela offering her ears to random tall-men. He would have resisted any urges to teleport her into walls simply because it would get him kicked out of the Canaries. But the demon was gone, his purposes for living were different. You were one of those purposes, one of those desires, and he was so one track minded that he would do anything to hang onto that.

He raised a hand. Flamela tensed as if sensing the danger. Nearby, Kabru pushed through the crowd, panicked.

“No!” You lunged at your partner before he could teleport the Vice-Captain to a place where she’d never get noodles again, let alone discounted ones.

Your body weight crashed onto him. His eye widened and Kabru gasped. Like a felled tree, you and Mithrun both fell to the ground. Flamela said something you didn’t quite comprehend, but it didn’t matter at the moment.

You laid on Mithrun. He laid on the ground. He put one hand on your back and chose to stare at the blue sky above rather than fight your will. The passersby sent the scene curious glances but wisely stayed away, giving you and Mithrun a wide berth.

A shadow cast over your bodies and you looked up to see Flamela blocking the sun. She only glared, hands on her hips.

“I want a discount,” she said.

You felt Mithrun grunt beneath you. Another beat of silence passed before he answered, “Fine. Just stay away from [name].”

“Deal.”

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

#asks #mithrun #dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #mithrun x reader #mithrun of the house of kerensil #dunmeshi #dungeon meshi x reader #x reader #reader insert

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back2bluesidex · 1 year ago

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J-Hope Fic Recommendations (18+)

If you are already following me for quite some time then you should know that I am a massive masochist and I like to torture myself by reading and writing angsty stories. So, most of the stories that I recommended are angsty as well (might as well have sad endings). So please carefully read the warnings before proceeding. Have a happy reading.

And please don't expect much from me. There are several other rec lists far better than mine. The only motive I had behind creating this list to promote some of the stories, which I think are very underrated. especially angsty ones. These stories are beautifully written so.. I just wanted to let the authors know how phenomenal of a job they have done (As a writer myself I know how much this actually means). Thanks to these amazing writers and I am grateful that they decided to share their work here with us.

[Minors please stay away from my blog!]

Key: F - Fluff, A- Angst, S- Smut, Y- Yandere, *- Personal Favorite

Oneshots

1. Ash from his fire by @filmcrystal - A, implied S, cheating au

It will break your heart so please proceed with caution.

2. Forbidden Fruit by @deepdarkdelights - A, Y

This one deals with several triggering topics. Hence, read the warnings carefully. But I can say that you will love this twisted mafia Hoseok way too much!

3. Shadows by @borathae - A, exes au

One of the most underrated stories I have ever read! Yeah, it is very angsty and Hoseok is so cruel but... we all are masochist here. lmao!

4. Heaven sent by @aquagustd - A, F, S, f2l au

Sexy soccer player Hoseok is just another name for perfection.

5. Bound by @explicit-tae - S, kinda f2l

Talk abut BDSM! GOOOD Sweet Lord!!!

6. Jigsaw by @sunshinejunghoseokie - A *

I remembered crying after reading this one. So damn underrated that it physically hurts me!!

7. Delta Disorder by @bangtanintotheroom Y, S, Supernatural au

I don't usually read supernatural stuff but this demon Hoseok is way too sexy to skip!

8. Systems of Touch by @yeoldontknow - S, F, tiny A, S2l au

Beautifully written! The author used 100% of their capabilities to write this one. Perfectly drawn Professor Hoseok with a very attractive character of reader. Certainly a treat to read.

9. 2:00 AM by @likeastarstar - A, fuckbuddy Hoseok

Part of a series but can be read as a standalone. and Hoseok is a dick in this.

10. Love Quarrels by @mirahuyooo - A, F, mafia au

A cold yet soft mafia husband Hoseok chases behind his angry wife... could there be anything better than that?

11. The Hook Up ft. JK by @minisugakoobies - S

A little bit of a triangle.. but not love? if that makes sense.

12. Entelechy by @drmflm - suggestive (I believe)

Can't call this one angst and neither is this about Hoseok (he is there, don't worry). This one is more about the reader and her growth and it's beautiful.

13. Orgasms on the verge of a nervous breakdown by @sluttyandere - S, Y *

This is very dark and quite triggering, so please don't read unless you can handle those stuff.

14. For the night by @aseaofyoongi - A, S

I cried. that's all.

15. We Shouldn't by @beahae - S **

Hands down to one of my most favourite Hoseok smuts ever!!! This one has a Jimin follow-up so make sure to read that too.

16. Real or not real by @nmjoo-n - A, S, F **

Again one of the most exquisite Hoseok fics I have ever read!

17. Checkmate by @sunshinejoon - A, S

This was supposed to have a sequel but it is perfect regardless.

18. Do I wanna know - @yoongiphoria - A, f2? ****

Now, MJ knows how much I love this one. I often read this story and I never ever get bored of it! I love this to the core and you should too!

19. Scrap - @silv3rswirls - A, Y, S

Dark and sexy. Read the warnings carefully please.

20. It's a Promise by @sahmfanficbts - S, A, Arranged marriage au

Just read it.

21. Three by @hamsterclaw - S

Again.. VERY UNDERRATED!

22. Wonderwall by @kiara-ish - A with an open ending

Might not be for the faint hearted.

23. Infatuated by @bangtanfancamp - F

If you like high school love au then this one is for you.

24. Constellations of You by @persphonesorchid - S, F, established relationship au

This is so domestic that my heart almost exploded while reading!!

25. Burning flames or paradise by @/yoongiphoria - A, tiny f ****

MJ does magic.... that's all I can say.

26. Alone again by @archivedkookie - A, F

I loooove these kinds of stories. Just the right amount of despair with the right amount of hope... beautiful.

27. Feeling Good by @bonvoyagenoona - A, S

Everything I write about this will fall short.. so I will just shut up and let you enjoy the goodness.

28. Distracted by @dilfhoseokie - S

Ahem..

29. Drink Champaign in my airplane by @/bangtanintotheroom - F, S, F2l

Perfectly embodies a rich hot CEO friend Hoseok... a fun read.

30. Keynote by @missgeniality - S **********

MY MOST FAVORITE HOSEOK ONESHOT TO EXIST IN THE PLANET. yeah.. (this has a follow-up but I like this one better)

Series

The thing is that I don't usually read series. I just don't have that patience. So this list is pretty small and forgive me for that.

1. Transference by @dark-muse-iris - A, S, F, S2l *********************

[Completed]

I wasn't the same after reading this. I can't talk about this trantric therapist Hoseok, 'cause I will never shut up if I start.

2. Kanalia by @xjoonchildx - A, S, f (?) *********************

[Ongoing]

Honestly, who isn't a sucker for Lord Jung? You must be sick if you are not. (On a side note.. Kanalia is keeping me alive from jumping off trains on tough days)

3. Guarded by @/xjoonchildx - A, S, F, S2l

[Completed]

Mafia Hoseok with dogtags. I think that's enough of an introduction.

If you want to read the Hoseok stories I write, you can checkout my Masterlist.

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glossgojo · 2 years ago

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the neighborhood keeps getting smaller

joel miller x reader

cw: 18+ MINORS DNI, p in v sex, joel has a big dick, breeding kink, size kink, pet names, MATING PRESS BRRR, slight dumbification, unprotected sex (wrap it up kids don’t be dumb)

can be read as a sequel to hold me across state lines

you and joel have been going slow whether you like it or not, you finally get a chance to spend some together when ellie is out for the night….

ellie had caught on pretty quickly that things had changed between you two. in fact the next morning at breakfast she blurted out, “you guys are fucking aren’t you?”

“oh my god ellie.” you clutched your head with your hands, elbows on the table as you felt a headache incoming. joel grumbled next to you and ellie almost gagged at his cheeks coloring pink. i mean, could you even blame her? you woke up this morning dredging into the kitchen in only what appeared to be joel’s shirt, looking around like a lost puppy until you met his eyes. joel wasn’t any better, his jaw dropped a little bit and his eyes swept over you quickly. ellie didn’t even hold back an eye roll; it wasn't like you two were paying her any attention anyways. you couldn’t raise your head and look the teenager in the eyes, you’d let joel handle this one. besides it wasn’t like you two had fucked you’d just gotten more intimate than two platonic partners ever did.

“ellie, first of all don’t talk like that especially when we’re eating, secondly we’re taking it slow and when we’re ready to tell you anything we’ll let you know.” joel’s tone, although gruff and stern, soothed your nerves. this wasn’t a one time thing and he was making it clear to both of you in that moment. when you woke up from the deepest sleep you’d had in a while you expected him to be next to you, so when you wandered into the kitchen this morning you needed comfort, you needed confirmation.

“okay fine but it’s not like it’s a surprise to anyone. the whole town thought you guys were practically married.” with that ellie scarfed down her remaining pancake and took her plate to the sink. you looked up at joel who looked equally confused as you were. were you both such fools? it seemed you two were the last to know. you waited until you could hear ellie stomp all the way upstairs and close her bedroom door behind her.

“God how am i gonna look her in the eyes?” you were a motherly figure to the girl, you felt mortified just thinking about facing her again.

“it’s fine, clearly the whole town was thinking it anyways.” joel had to admit he felt a sick thrill knowing the whole town thought you were his. it certainly explained why none of the younger eligible bachelors who snuck glances at you, but dared to approach you. he had likened it to his glaring, but clearly it was something more.

“jesus christ, they were, weren't they?” you scoffed and couldn’t help but take in joel’s appearance. he looked well-rested and as cheery as joel miller possibly could be. no wonder ellie had suspected something. “uhm joel.” joel didn’t think he could hear his name come out of your mouth without picturing you laid out for him, arched in pleasure and crying out his name like it was the only word you knew.

his mind stopped working for a moment as he looked at your messy hair and swollen eyes, and then he responded realizing he could only stare at you so long. a simple hum from him caused you to shiver as you scouted to the edge of your seat, your bare thigh brushing against his denim one.

“did you mean it when you said we’re taking things slow?” joel’s gaze traveled from your dilated pupils to your parted lips and found their home in your flushed cheeks. he wanted nothing more than to clear the table and cap off his meal with the dessert between your legs, but he wanted to know what you wanted. this was his last way to give you an out, to let you get ready of him easy. so it was only natural when he spoke next. your wide pretty eyes were clinging onto his every word as soon as his mouth opened and he itched to pull you close and kiss the air from your lungs.

“it’s up to you darling.” his voice was deep as he ground out his words. darling. with his southern drawl and your proclivity to find every word the man said to be sensual, you couldn’t even hide the chill that traveled down your spine. you were absolutely dazed as you swung your leg over his thighs and settled onto his lap. you barely fit in the space between him and the table but you didn’t care, you’d nestle in between his ribs if he let you. joel’s eyes took you in like you were the only thing in the world, studying your features and the pretty flush on your skin that seemed to go with him wherever he went. he wished he hadn’t wasted so much time with you.

“if you keep calling me darling, we’ll have to continue where we left off last night.” you leaned forward, whispering it into his good ear. joel could feel his blood traveling south, you sure knew how to make him feel young. fortunately, you were not quite on his bulge, otherwise he’s not sure either of you would be talking much longer. joel had his hands on your waist, he’d done it purposefully because if they went any south he’d have to find out just how south he could travel without you stopping him. he’d bet it was as much as he wanted.

“is that all it takes? pretty girl like you probably heard things like that often.” joel can imagine men and women alike throwing themselves at your feet. you were so damn gorgeous and good he felt like he’d won the lottery. a deep grumble resounded from your chest at his pet name once again, you’d let him do anything to you if he kept sweetening you up.

“don’t you know i’m gone for you miller?” you were slowly blinking, sleep still in your eyes and joel thought he felt his heart skip a beat. you looked like an angel sent just for him, he didn’t deserve an angel.

“i’m starting to pick up on that.” if you were far gone, joel was off the deep end.

“hmm well, it’s just you, no one else affects me like this.” you moved closer, your arms looped around his neck tightening. you could almost feel his bulge and joel had to groan as he felt his self-control slip. you smelled so good, like sex and honeysuckle. joel pressed a kiss to your forehead, you melted into him a little bit more.

“that makes us two of us sweetheart, but we should probably wait for when ellie’s not here.” he was warning you, trying to stop what was coming as he saw your eyes darken, your breathing picking up as your breast pressed into his chest.

“i can be quiet.” you were gonna be the death of him.

“tempting, but i’d rather hear you yell my name like you’ve gotten so fucking good at.” a small little smile painted your lips and joel fell a little more in love. instead of being shy, you seemed proud of yourself, like his name was made for you to scream.

“alright but go around calling me sweetheart, i might just crack.” you pressed a kiss to his cheek, your soft lips grazing against his rough beard, as you swung your leg back over and gave joel a good glimpse at your underwear.

it did nothing to help his hard-on.

since that breakfast with ellie you both had been good, stealing kisses when you could. the next night you both fell asleep with joel holding you close, just like you always did. but there was something simmering in both of you, you could feel it travel between your thighs and remain unattended. you three were having dinner at the community hall, when a girl ellie’s age asked her to watch a movie. you’d seen the girl hanging around ellie before, knew she was close with her as much as one could get to the wary teenager. “finish your dinner hon, then you can go do whatever you want.”

“is it okay if ellie sleeps over? the movie will end late.” you exchanged a look with joel, you weren’t giving up your kid that easily. you moved to stand up, the girl a little intimidated by you. you wondered if she’d start crying if joel had taken this one.

softening your expression slightly you asked, “where’s your parents?” the girl pointed in the direction of two people standing in line for food, ellie groaned in embarrassment and you ruffled her hair to tease her a bit more. it felt so plainly familiar that you thought about all the times you’d do the same with your little sister. joel couldn’t help but feel a shudder at the way you treated ellie, you always were so warm with her and he wished he could do it as easily as you did. ellie saw you as a mother, there was no doubt in his mind about that. you moved towards the couple with the girl following you. the couple was painfully normal and sweet, they seemed so well-adjusted you wondered if they’d ever even seen a clicker. despite your slight disdain for their blissful ignorance you couldn’t deny that they seemed perfectly normal and harmless. it also didn’t hurt that you were sure your ellie could take them any day of the week. with that you nodded at the parents and told the girl that ellie would find her after dinner. walking back to the table you found joel’s gaze on you, a look in his eye you couldn’t quite comprehend.

dinner passed by and joel and you said goodbye to ellie, telling her to be kind but not to hesitate to leave if she feels unsafe. it was the first night you’d spent apart since you joined them.

joel took your hand in his as you walked to the edge of town and made your way to your condo. you were surprised by his touch but welcomed it nonetheless, with joel you’d take whatever he gave you. “you think ellie’s okay right now?”

“just thinking about that myself actually.” you knew joel was as worried about her as you were. he didn’t let on just how much he worried but you knew, you could tell from the permanent frown had gotten deeper.

“we can swing by their place, i already asked maria for their address.” you and joel could probably break in and check on her but that would be a bit extreme even for you two.

“of course you did.” joel shot you a smirk, making your heart beat pick up. you both entered the home and you kicked off your boots, throwing off your jacket and hanging it up. you watched as joel did the same, taking in his broad chest that stretched against his shirt as he took off his jacket. you could watch him all day.

“gonna hop in the shower darlin’.” you nodded, slightly in a daze, following joel like a puppy as he walked towards your shared bedroom.

“can i join you?” joel pressed a kiss to your lips as he grabbed a towel and opened the bathroom door. you shivered at the feeling of his hot breath against your lips.

“how bout you just sit pretty and wait for me hm?” he motioned towards the bed and you nodded eagerly, joel found your enthusiasm maddening. he wanted you just as badly but he’d rather take you in the bed, it was the least you deserved. meanwhile you didn’t care where you were with him, as long as you could have him. after what felt like the longest 5 minutes of your life, the bathroom door cracked open, to reveal joel in only a towel around his waist. you didn’t even think twice before you padded over only in socks and one of joel’s shirts. your eyes widened as you outstretched a hand to feel the graying chest hair and maddening small gut surrounded by strong muscles. joel watched you wordlessly as your eyes narrowed at scars he’d gained over the years, your small hand inspecting and feeling whatever you could. joel felt something swell in his chest as you eyed him down, there was no hesitation in you to reach out for him. when you finally seemed satisfying joel stepped to the side so he could at least pull on a pair of boxers. your eyes never left him and joel could’ve laughed at how hungry you were for him if his mouth wasn’t salivating at the sight of your hard nipples through his fucking t-shirt.

joel toweled his hair dry, watching you as you continued to ogle him. he wasn’t any better, in the few seconds he wasn’t looking at your eyes he was taking in your curves or how he didn’t want you in anything other than his clothes. it was just as sexy as the suggestion of fabric you’d worn as lingerie before.

“come here darlin’,” you blushed instantly, moving towards him as he threw the towel to the side. your hands came up to smooth his hair down, it looked wild and you wanted to mess it for yourself later on. you raked a hand through his hair, your fingernails scraping his scalp, and joel let out a content grumble. your pussy clenched around air from the sound, you were exposed under this shirt, cool air making it clear to you how wet you were already getting. joel’s hands came up to your hips, squeezing and earning a gasp from your lips as your hands cupped his face. he pulled you closer, leaning down as he pressed a kiss to your lips, his tongue trailing the seam of your lips and you moaned out his name in response. “bed, now.” you wasted no time in backpedaling with joel’s hands still on your hips, not even breaking eye contact as you sighed out in content. when the back of your knees hit the bedframe, joel lifted you over it and dropped you onto the bed like you weighed nothing. you almost let out another whimper. joel climbed over you, his thighs caging you in as he sat up and raked over you.

“y’don’t know how long i’ve been dreaming about this,” you gasped as his hands traveled down until they reached the edge of your shirt, his rough fingertips brushing the bare skin where the shirt met your thighs. you whined and grasped the bedsheets as you tried not to just pull him to you, you were already so desperate you didn’t know know how much more you could forsake your dignity.

“how long?” you practically whined it out when his fingertips dipped under the shirt, slowly making their way up.

“ever since i saw you.” you whined out his name as his hands found their way to either side of your hips, the calluses on his thumbs created friction as they swiped along your soft skin.

“no underwear huh?” joel’s brown eyes were wide, his pupils blown out like you were sure yours were. you swallowed down as his eyes kept staring you down, staring where you needed him most.

“why waste time?” you noted, as his hands shoved the material up, past your belly-button leaving you exposed. joel pushed the material up until your breasts were exposed and your nipples poked up into the air. you would’ve felt shy if not for the low curse joel muttered under his breath. without warning the man dove down, his mouth traveling up your navel leaving kisses and bites along your center. your hands found refuge in his hair, tangling the damp strands between your fingers and pulling when he bit you a little harder than you anticipated. joel, tantalizingly slow, kissed his way to your breasts. his mouth latched onto one nipple as his fingers teased the other. the bite of his teeth, the suck of his mouth, and the rough pad of his finger felt like fire against you and it made your mind swim with desire. joel was mean to your breasts, not letting up until you could see red marks blooming on your chest. you had tried to be quiet, knowing joel didn’t want the whole neighborhood to hear you but you couldn’t help it when he pulled you between his teeth and moved away, “joel!” the fucker laughed at your reaction, pressing his now free thumb to your lips. without much thought you stuck your tongue out to lick it, joel’s grip on your hip tightened.

“want you inside.” joel’s erection was straining his boxers and you wanted to feel him, you’d beg if you had to. he nodded at your words, seemingly in a daze from your actions and words. lowering down as his hand followed and moved to finger you. he pulled your ankles to rest on his shoulders, giving him easier access. although you loved his hands, you wouldn’t last much longer, not with him looking at you like this and not with desire coursing through you more than any sensible thought. you wanted to come with him, placing a hand over his you spoke. “joel please just fuck me, i’m prepped.” joel seriously doubted that being that you struggled to take three of his fingers last time, but nonetheless he nodded and pressed a kiss to your ankle. joel pushed his boxers down, taking them off in one swift movement and your jaw dropped.

it was the biggest dick you’d ever seen, thick and long, perfectly cropped gray dark hair at the base and your mouth watered at the sight of it. despite your desire, doubt creeped into your mind, “joel it’s so big, i don’t think it’ll fit.” your words sparked a fire in him and joel had to push down the very real need to plunge into you and make you sob from the stretch but he needed to soothe your doubt. and despite your wide eyes he could see your pussy clenching on air as if begging to take him. joel had to stifle a smirk at the sight.

“you can take it doll, you’re a big girl.” you swallowed as you nodded, trusting him implicitly and sitting up as you watched him. despite your earlier comments, joel still had to check that you weren’t too tight and he didn’t need to grab lube to make it easier on you, he stuck two fingers into you, a low moan resounding from your throat at the feeling of something finally touching you where you needed. sure enough, joel found you were practically dripping. he looked from his fingers glistening from your ichor back to you with a teasing curiosity in his eyes and you just sighed in defeat, throwing your head back. joel took this time to move closer to you, your ankles going past his head as your legs glided over his shoulders, lining himself up. joel looked at you for any hesitation, except you were just looking past his face, nodding in anticipation.

joel does his best to move slowly, pushing his head in first, you gasp at the stretch. you’re burning up and yet you need more, you want him to break you. your eyes roll to the back of your head when he pushes two inches in and joel thinks he should take a picture of your face to save forever. he can keep his composure, control his speed until you look him straight in the eyes and smile so wide he thinks he might be imagining it. joel can’t help but plunge into you. your mind instantly goes numb, the stretch burning and his tip hitting your cervix, tears sting your eyes as joel gives you time to adjust, “so fucking tight pretty girl, it’s like you were made for me.” and you can’t talk, the pleasure cutting off any connection between your mind and your body. joel feels so suffocated by your pussy, he’s not sure he’ll last long, not when you look so pretty crying over his cock or when you’re so warm and wet for him he feels overwhelmed by the notion alone.

so he starts moving slowly, fractionally moving in and out, you start clenching less as your body gets used to him. it doesn’t stop the mind-numbing shock you feel when his dick kisses your cervix, but it still keeps you sane. joel feels himself going insane, even with his bad ear he can perfectly hear how fucking wet you are and the downright pornographic sounds your bodies are making. he’s still a gentleman, still has some decency to warn you before he fucks you dumb.

“safe word is texas okay.” you nod enthusiastically, clutching your breast as joel pulls out completely and fucks into you with his full length. your jaw slackens, tears pooling at the edge of your eyes, and you can’t help but scream his name. joel’s pace doesn’t relent after that, he’s bruising your cervix and your mind and body can only agree on one thing and that’s joel. you scream his name as the angle of your bodies does nothing to help the intense pleasure you feel. joel stretches you and you don’t think you could ever want another dick in your life, not when you can feel his veins imprinting on your walls, or the throb of his cock inside you. you cum when he angles himself even deeper, white painting your vision as you arch and stiffen against him, joel whispering praises as he keeps his brutal rhythm. you feel joel grow close when his grunts turn to curses and interchange with your name.

you think joel must be feeling as brainless as you do when he starts muttering, “this pussy is mine, y/n fuck can’t have anyone else after this.” you feel yourself close to another orgasm and then joel pushes against your hips, your legs stretching to get him closer, your bodies flush against each other and while you thought that joel couldn’t stretch you any more you were totally wrong. he’s dragging against your walls like he was made for them. pressing into you like he wants to put a baby in you, and you are so fucked dumb, words barely escaping your mouth as he slides in and out of you. you’re babbling nonsense and joel thinks he’s no better as he feels himself close. his thumb finds your clit, massaging until he feels you clench around him.

“come with me doll.” you cry out his name and joel takes it as a yes, his pace slowing down to an equally torturous slow and deep one. he moves to pull out and you whine. joel almost loses his mind.

“no no no please want your cum.” you’d deal with the consequences tomorrow right now you’d go crazy if you didn’t feel filled by him. and he can’t bring himself to deny you. you have tears streaming down your face from desire, and he’s not a monster. joel comes inside, burying himself to the hilt and you feel warm from his cum, feeling it fill you up and it’s so much you’re starting to think you’ll never feel fuller. when joel pulls out, your juices combined with his spill down your cunt, and joel thinks he’s worked up an appetite.

#joel miller fanfiction #joel miller imagine #joel miller smut #joel miller x y/n #joel miller x reader #joel miller #pedro pascal smut #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal #tlou joel #tlou ellie

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buttercupjosh · 2 months ago

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The Perfect Proposal (the 4 times you expected that Mat was going to propose + the 1 time he actually did)

(Gif credit to @mattymartin)

word count: 1,968

genres: established relationship, fluff, self-insert

warnings: none

A/N: This story is based off of the song “Joy of My Life” by Chris Stapleton and I make references to this song throughout the story. I highly recommend listening to this song before reading my story. This story is short, sweet and fluffy. It’s not set at a specific moment in time (It’s taking place in a fictional future but you could also say that it’s set this upcoming season or even a past season). It’s written with a female reader in mind because I’m a female of color but the reader doesn’t specifically have to be a POC or a woman and there’s little dialogue. This is not a sequel to Your Favorite Secret (which you can still read and check out and if you want this to be a sequel to that, you can interpret it that way). As always, I’m open to any and all feedback, comments or questions; just put them in my inbox or dm me. Thank you so much in advance for reading, I appreciate it😌

(P.S. I have other stories (linked here) that I have written for other players as well if you want to check it out)

“Someday it will come right on cue.” -Somewhere Love Is Waiting for You from the Schmigadoon TV series soundtrack

Prologue

Meeting Mat changed your life in the best way possible. You took Mat’s breath away when you met up for your very first date and since then, you continued to take his breath away in small doses every time you saw him. He added so much goodness and love into your life and you did the same for him. Mat felt so grateful to have you in his life and even though he made millions, being with you was his greatest treasure. You and Mat deeply appreciated each and every moment you had together, no matter how big or small it was; the two years that you had been together so far were some of your greatest times. You were both so smitten that you always looked at each other with such deep love and devotion and couldn’t get enough of your significant other’s presence. For a while, Mat knew that he wanted to propose to you but he just needed to figure out the best way how to and time when to ask that all-important question.

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It finally happened. After 3 challenging years, you finally completed law school and earned your Juris Doctor degree from NYU. All of your friends and family came into town to celebrate your accomplishment. In order to accommodate everyone, Mat graciously rented a large AirBnb house in the Hamptons to host your graduation party. You handled some aspects of the party planning while Mat handled the rest and the party went very well. During the congratulations portion of the evening, Mat wanted to give a quick remark to acknowledge your achievement.

“For the past 2 years, I watched this wonderful person ambitiously work their way through law school. There were a lot of late nights, early mornings and so many case reviews and vocabulary study sessions that I think I could go get a law degree. Y/N, to say that I am proud of you is a massive understatement. My love, you are so amazing and you did it. I love you so much. Because I love you so much, I have a surprise for you.” Mat spoke.

This moment seemed like it was the right time for Mat to ask for your hand in marriage; you had been dating for a while, you lived together and blended your families together, and he had just finished a great speech that made all of the party’s attendees realize how much he was in love with you. Instead, Mat handed you an envelope. Inside the envelope was a copy of a check for the exact amount that you owed in student loans and a letter informing you that your loans were fully paid off. You couldn’t believe what was happening and began to cry.

“How did you do this?”, you mustered out through your tears of joy.

“So you know how you gave me access to your book of important information in case anything happened to you? Well, I asked Liana to call the loan office to pretend to be you and ask for your account balance”, Mat cheesily revealed.

Mat saw firsthand how much distress and frustration law school caused you so he wanted to help out someone he deeply loved by eliminating the stress of having to pay for a student loan; this surprise was better than an engagement ring.

————————————————————

After your graduation party and after the Islanders were eliminated from playoffs, it was the official start of the off-season. This year, it was a milestone birthday for Mat’s dad so the Barzal family decided to do a European summer vacation to celebrate. You were important enough to their family that you had been invited and Liana, Mat’s sister, also invited her best friend to accompany her on the trip.

Hand-in-hand with the man you considered to be the love of your life and his family, for 3 weeks, you explored England, France, Monaco, and Mat’s ancestral homeland of Italy. In England, you indulged in English culture while Mat hilariously attempted a British accent. In France, you shared plenty of kisses with your lover in the City of Love, swooning every time Mat spoke French. In Monaco, you and Mat felt like the protagonists of a spy thriller while hanging out in the city.

Once you arrived in Italy, you got to see a different side of Mat that rarely came out. He had been to Italy several times before but he was thrilled to share all that he knew about that special place with you. Mat glowed differently whenever you got authentic gelato together or when he swam in the waters along the Amalfi Coast. Of course, throughout the trip, you still spent plenty of time with Mat’s parents, sister, and her friend and attended a lovely birthday dinner on a boat for Mat’s dad while visiting Sicily.

On the plane ride traveling back to Canada after your whirlwind European tour, you thought to yourself that you were going to come back to North America with a new jewelry addition to your left hand; you did have a lot of date nights and one-on-one time with Mat on the trip. However, your wonderful boyfriend did get you a gorgeous Cartier love bracelet from the official store in Paris and you were returning back with the gift of good memories that were created with your future in-laws.

————————————————————

The remainder of the off-season went by so quickly; between weddings, summer holidays, and other events all happening, you and Mat were swept in so many different directions. Time flies when you’re having fun and soon, it was already time to return to Long Island for the hockey season.

The usual ups, downs, and chaos of the hockey season lingered in your household but you navigated through it together. As the season went on, you spent a lot of time studying for the Multistate Professional Responsibility Exam and Universal Bar Exam, which allowed you to become eligible to be admitted to the New York State Bar next year. Even though you had those responsibilities, you still supported Mat at most of his home games. One of the things about Mat that you loved was how he would always quietly tiptoe into your shared home after a late game but he loved how you always waited up for him to come home after every game, regardless of what time he returned. Before you both knew it, the year was winding down and it was almost Christmas time. You and Mat had decided to host Christmas this year and both of your families were coming. This wasn’t the first time that both of your families had been together to celebrate an occasion; they were there all together for your law school graduation earlier in the year and both sides enjoyed being together as one cohesive unit but for some reason, things felt different to you this holiday season.

You spent hours preparing and making sure that everything was right for the arrival of your guests. Christmas came and went wonderfully. It was so nice to have your families together during the holidays. You gifted Mat a new game day tie and a gift card to one of his favorite road restaurants; Mat got you a nice bag to carry all of your work things and a personalized padfolio for you to take all of your legal notes in.

Yes, you were secretly expecting a diamond underneath the tree this year but it was okay because you still got other great gifts as well. Despite wanting something else, you still deeply cherished the time you got to spend with your loved ones.

————————————————————

After the holidays were over, you and Mat settled back into your respective routines until it was All-Star Break. Mat was not chosen for the All-Star Game that year and some of the Islanders players and families decided to go to the Bahamas for their team All-Star Break trip. The time away gave you and Mat both some essential rest and relaxation. At the end of February, you were scheduled to take the Universal Bar Exam but you took a break from studying to enjoy your mini-vacation. You stayed with your lover and company at a phenomenal resort; you swam with dolphins, relaxed at the spa, and ate so much tasty food. You also enjoyed lots of group activities with Mat and his teammates and their respective significant others. During the trip, one of Mat’s best friends’, Anthony, and his long-term girlfriend, Emma got engaged. It stung a little to see someone else reach the relationship milestone you deeply desired to share with Mat and you had expected that it was going to be you and your lover’s turn to share that special romantic moment on this trip, however, you were happy for your friends.

————————————————————

One evening, you came home from a long, exhausting day of work. After passing both the Universal Bar Exam and Multistate Professional Responsibility Exam and completing some other requirements, you were admitted to the New York State Bar last month and got a job as a junior attorney. It was a pleasant surprise to see Mat cooking; he was subtly singing in the kitchen and tenderly caring for some handmade pasta. You couldn’t quite make out what song Mat was singing but it didn’t matter what it was because you had caught him singing songs that you’ve played around the house and pop songs from the radio plenty of times before. You smiled to yourself as watched him in his element before slipping away for a much-needed shower.

After you came out of the shower and changed, there was a beautiful plate of pasta waiting for you on the table. Mat tapped deep into his Italian heritage and made a delectable dinner for the two of you. You shared with Mat the details of work and although, he may not quite fully understand everything you were expressing your feelings about, he still listened to you as you rambled on. After dinner concluded, you and Mat were going to share a box of bakery cannolis and watch a movie on the couch but Mat told you to wait at the table and suddenly got up. He returned to the room with a look of nervousness on his face. You asked Mat if he was okay but you could tell that he had something important to say.

“I’ve been holding onto this ring for a while. There were so many other times that I wanted to ask but there’s just something that feels so right about this moment. Sitting here, I realized something very important. I want to spend the rest of my life, making you dinner when I can and listening to you speak. I want to continue to come home from my games to you and wake up next to you. I have the greatest honor of knowing and loving you. You have the sweetest heart that’s made of gold and you are like an angel brought down to Earth from Heaven. I want to be by your side forever. Y/N, you are the joy of my life. Will you marry me?” Mat declared while holding out the engagement ring of your dreams in a Tiffany blue box.

You were speechless because Mat was right; this was the perfect moment. You looked straight into Mat’s green eyes that you admired so dearly and accepted his marriage proposal; you were both super excited to embark on this new journey in your relationship. You and Mat swayed with each other to the sound of your fiance’s voice, serenading you to “Joy Of My Life” by Chris Stapleton, the same song Mat was singing to himself earlier. Patience was an important virtue and all of that waiting paid off at the right time.

#mat barzal #mat barzal x reader #mat Barzal imagine #mat Barzal fic #ny islanders #my writing #hockey writing

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getitoutofmymindwrites · 8 months ago

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The crushing | joel miller x f!reader, 5.2k

Summary: This is the story of a man who had everything in the palm of his hand and traded it all for an empty space in the hollow of his heart. Or This story follows Joel, two to three years after he cheated on his wife.

Warnings: 18+ MDNI, ANGST, cheater!Joel, Joel's POV, this is NOT “The Falling” from Joel's POV, brief mention of smut (p i v) but nothing too graphic (I think), self-loathing, depression, therapy, flashbacks and memories from the past, alcohol consumption, Tommy being a supportive brother (eventually), as always let me know if I missed anything!

A/N: Ok, so, Joel gave me a whiplash on this one, he was either staring at me through the screen giving me nothing, or he was mumbling unintelligibly in my ear while I was trying to keep up with him. It started out as a final chapter, but I really think that this part should be Joel's POV and the next and -probably- final one should be the resolving, however that may come. I guess it can be read as a standalone, but if you're interested, it's a sequel to “The Falling”. I edited it seven thousand times because I kept adding things along the way, so I hope it all makes some sense and there are not too many mistakes.. Thank you for taking the time to read anything I write! Love you all! 🥰😘

P.S.: I just wanted to take a moment and let you know that I really appreciate everyone who has read, liked, commented, reblogged and asked about “The Falling”. I honestly didn't think a single soul would take the time to read that kind of story. It means more than you know and I didn’t take lightly how close to home this fic hit for some people; yet you’ve given it a chance, sharing some of your own experiences with me. I love you all, take care and I'll see you -hopefully- in the comments! 🥹🫂

Dividers by @cafekitsune & @saradika-graphics

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...need your reassurance...

...your only focus…

...for the foreseeable future...

He did make it his sole focus. Because of course, he closed the deal, even after he left that damn table like a madman. He still found a way to get what he wanted. That's the man he was. And he wasn't sure if he hated himself for it or not. But self-loathing was a daily occurrence now, so one more reason added to the list was nothing he couldn't handle.

For two years he would wake up every day, is it called waking up if he doesn’t sleep at all?, he would work his ass off, he would go home, he would sink into despair and then he would start all over again the next day. A vicious cycle consisting of 730 days in a row. The deafening silence within the walls of the house was excruciating, the loneliness was unbearable. Even the light penetrating through the windows seemed different than when you were there with him, a dullness surrounding every corner of the now barely lived in space.

You. He hadn’t seen your face in 730 days. He hadn’t smelled your scent or touched your soft skin. He barely listened to your voice anymore, any form of unavoidable communication, you preferred to be conducted by the lawyers, or via text messages, at the most. At the 731st one, he finally knew, something had to change. He couldn’t repeat another day, like all the others that came and went. He simply couldn’t.

Tommy suggested that therapy might help Joel, a few times, but he refused every one of them. Maria was keeping her distance, her place was delicate, being his brother’s wife but also his wife’s best friend. Surprisingly, she was the one who finally got through to him.

“Are you gonna stay a recluse for the rest of your miserable life, then?” Maria wonders, switching her gaze between Joel and the dining room. Everything was untouched, as you left them when you moved out, but the place felt empty, depressing, probably mirroring Joel’s existence.

Joel sighs, closing his eyes briefly. “I’m not a recluse..”, he snarls through his teeth, rolling his eyes at her. He was more than eager to be done with the dinner his sister-in-law insisted on having in his house and be left alone, in his natural state. Alone. Infuriating woman.

“What do you call that?”, Maria persists, goddamn lawyer to the bone.

“What?!” Joel spits back pissed off, looking at his brother next, for support.

“That!” she gestures around his body and his surroundings. “The way you go on for the past two years! Either get over it or do something about it!”, she doesn’t hold back, even when Tommy proposes a gentler approach. Yeah, look where it got you, is the paid answer, so Tommy steps back, shaking his head and raising his hands up in surrender.

“You’ve got him on a leash, hm?”, Joel jokes absentmindedly, “Can you breathe alright, Tommy boy?”, earning himself a hard glare from Maria.

“Maybe the wrong Miller is on a leash..” Maria mutters, causing Tommy’s eyes to widen in horror.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”, Joel retorts doing a double back at her.

“Means that freedom is for those who can bear it.”, Maria throws her napkin on her plate and leaves the room. Joel remains silent, pondering the meaning of her words. It would be a long time before he understood what she meant.

Therapy was hard.

Therapy was hard because he had to do it for himself. He had to concentrate on himself. He thought, being the contractor that he was, that he would walk into the room, get the answers he needed and fix his marriage, just as he rearranged the bricks and the wood and the steel on the construction sites.

But this wasn’t about his marriage. His marriage and the way it crumbled down was the aftermath, he came to learn. It was the outcome of insecurities, selfishness, lack of communication, ungratefulness.

He got it all wrong. Everything. Every little thing. He had to rewire his brain and change every point of view he was holding onto. Honesty. Honesty was the key.

“Why didn’t you reach out to your wife after that night?”, his therapist insists.

“I respected her boundaries.”, Joel was quick to respond.

“And what were those?”

“She didn’t want to see me.”

“Did she say that?”

“No-, I mean-, the way she left that night, she didn’t say much in general. But she blocked my number, so.”, he shrugs in defence.

“So, how can you be so sure that she didn't want to see you? Even if you're right, it doesn't mean that she didn't expect a reaction from you, or that you weren't allowed to try, if that’s what you wanted.”

“Why would she? I upset her, she needed time to think, work things out.”, Joel explains.

The therapist swipes her fingers over her lips, contemplating her approach. “Joel, you walk into your bedroom, into what is supposed to be a safe place and you see your partner with another person in an intimate moment. How does that make you feel? Just say the first words that come to mind.”, his therapist changes the point of view.

Joel shudders just at the thought of it. You, naked, flushed, lips parted and swollen, skin sweaty, breaths short and pupils blown wide, coming for anyone other than him. It would utterly destroy him. “Furious, pissed, betrayed, heartbroken.. I think I would lose it, if I’m honest.” he admits instantly, in his haste to throw the abomination of this image from his thoughts.

“I see. But in her case, you think your wife was just upset?”

“No, of course not.” Joel slightly frowns, shaking his head.

“Do you think she felt all those feelings that you just described to me?”

“I believe so, yes.”, god this is so hard.

“You believe so?” the therapist pushes, again.

Joel’s nostrils flare from the sharp inhale, “I know so.”

“So, she wasn’t just upset.” the therapist concludes and Joel agrees without meeting her eyes, “No, she wasn’t.”

Over time, Joel came to realize that his choice of words was a subconscious attempt to diminish the seriousness of his actions.

“You said in a previous session that you gave space to your wife to work things out.”

“Yeah, it was only fair.”, Joel confirms.

“So, it was hard for you to give her that space?”

“Yes, of course, I missed her every day.”

“Was that a constant in your relationship?”, the therapist wonders.

“I’m sorry, I don’t follow.”

“How did you work things out as a couple, before? I assume you had difficult times as partners, no?”

“Nothing major to be honest, my wife was a very calm and reasonable person. If anything occurred she would talk to me about it.”

“And how did you respond to that?”

“Uh, I was there to listen, we always found a solution together as a couple.”

“Hmhm, so, what changed this time?”

“What do you mean?” He knew exactly what she meant.

“Why didn’t you talk to her? Communicate with her? Maybe help her see your side of things, like you did before, find your way out of this together, as partners.” his therapist explains. “And even before the infidelity, did you let her know that something was bothering you, that you felt differently?”

"I didn't feel differently about my wife. My feelings for her never changed.", he immediately corrects her. "My love for her was never the problem," he confesses and it's the first time since his therapy began that he's shared something so personal, so private.

“But there was a problem, something was wrong if you felt the need to be intimate with another woman. So, why did you keep that from her?”

Joel opens his mouth already knowing he does not have an answer. Or that he doesn't want to give one. He shakes his head, raising his brows in a silent admission that he can’t answer that. Or he won't. His gaze is fixed on a loose thread on the fabric of the couch, his fingers keep picking on it.

“Joel?”

“I- I don’t know what you want me to say, I don’t know.” he keeps shaking his head. He can’t answer that. He won't.

He was so angry when he left the session that day. He was so angry at you. He was angry at your honesty, your clarity, your courage to have a mind of your own and to speak it freely, knowing full well that probably no one else shared the same opinions as you did. That's what he loved most about you, but now he hated it.

“Own it, Joel. Own what you have done. At least that way it will be worth something. Otherwise it was all for nothing.”

This was one of the last things you said to him on the phone, while he was trying to persuade you to change your mind about the divorce. You were always so brave about those matters. Matters of the heart, of integrity. He remembers you always talking about things that he found admirable but utopian. Easy in theory, hard in practice.

“I need to be able to sleep at night. I need to own my decisions; not because I’m always right, far from it, but at least I know I’m being honest with myself. And that matters.” he recalls one of your late-night talks.

You usually found it easier to share your most vulnerable thoughts once you were thoroughly fucked and satiated. When Joel held you in his arms, your breaths almost shared over the same pillow, your scents and your fluids mixed together.

“We’re all imperfect beings, flawed; we all feel embarrassed when we fuck up,” you continue, “it’s hard to admit our mistakes to others, I get that. But deep down we always know what we’re doing and why we’re doing it. Admitting it only helps us to be present in our lives.”

“Be present?”, Joel seems fascinated by the way your mind weaves your thoughts together into deeply rooted beliefs.

“Yes, my love, there's no greater freedom than to live your life truthfully.” you smile at him, softly. Your sleepy eyes roam his face affectionately. Your fingertips caress his jawline, your thumb pressing lightly against the bare patch of his beard. He can feel your devotion pouring from your fingers and sinking into his skin at that moment.

“That’s one of my greatest fears, you know. Living my life in ignorance, in a lie.”, you whisper your deepest insecurity against his soft lips. His hold on you tightens as he rolls you onto your back, nestling his hips between your welcoming thighs. You are safe in these arms. His arms. You surrender to him, body and soul. You can feel his growing erection pressing between your folds, already wet from your combined releases. He tenderly brushes his lips against yours and slowly licks his way into your parted mouth, as he intertwines his fingers with yours. He enters you in one fluid, slow thrust, his warm exhale cooling your wet lips. “Then let me give you something real.”

Thinking back to those moments, Joel couldn't reconcile himself to the fact that he was the one who had brought that fear of yours to life. What broke him was that it was not a lie. Your life together had not been a lie. He loved you. In fact, he was burning up for you. He was a man of control, but not with you. Never with you. You consumed his every thought; being around you for too long made his lungs constrict in pain, begging for a deep breath. Sometimes he was worried sick that if he completely let himself love you like he needed to, he would suffocate you. He loved you. And it killed him that his actions suggested otherwise.

But at some point he had to be honest with himself. He was just protecting his ego. He was trying to get the upper hand out of a shitty, compromising situation. He wasn't being thoughtful, he was being selfish. He was biding his time. He thought the longer he left ‘it’ untouched, the less it would hurt when the inevitable time of confrontation came. He was scared out of his mind that he would lose you forever. No second chances, no redemption, no reconciliation.

No lingering scent on his pillow as your hair pools there, under his chin, as you nestle your face between his neck and shoulder, breathing him in. No laughter through the enormous house, damn, why did he build it so big; you never clarified what the disbelief in your eyes meant when he said he built this house for you, while he pulls you up on your feet for a silly cowboy dance.

No more gentle touches, no more noses brushing together as a silent goodbye in the kitchen before you rush off to work. No more turning around just before you open the door to leave, running to him like a little girl, giving him quick, hungry pecks on the lips while he laughs on your mouth, squeezes your butt cheek and slaps it playfully to say goodbye. Later, baby, he would promise you, his teeth nipping at your earlobe and he could feel your skin crawling with anticipation.

No more I love yous, either breathed, either whispered, either panted, as he makes a home for himself inside your warmth.

When did he fuck you last? He used to have you every day. You craved it every day. You craved him. Why did he stop telling you he loved you every chance he got? When was the last time you said it?

A week before that fateful night, when you touched him longingly, aching for him to touch you back and he told you he had work to do, he wasn’t a teenager anymore. Why the hell did he say that? Why did he sit there and watch the light fading from your eyes? I love you, you said with a sigh against his temple and walked out of his office defeated. Why did you say that? Did you know? Did you suspect? Why didn’t you fight him? You should have said something, anything, pushed him, punched him in the chest, woken him up. Would he have woken up? Or did he need that to come to his senses? Does he have to fall? Does this falling ever stop? Does he have to let you go? Will you come back to him? Does he deserve you?

Days blurred seamlessly into one another. Joel drifted further and further away from everyone. The house haunted him, all the progress he was making within the therapy walls was dissipating once he stepped inside the cold space of his empty house. Leaving the confines of it was his first thought in the morning, while he hurriedly dressed to go to his office far earlier than necessary and his last when he closed his eyes, as he laid his weary limbs on the couch, chasing still your now long gone scent on its fabric, knowing another sleepless night was his only companion until the first rays of sunlight hit the floor-to-ceiling windows to announce the beginning of another day.

People at work tiptoed around him, not knowing how to act. It was as if he was there, but not really. He was focused solely on the Marks project, mechanically going through board meetings, paperwork and supervising the construction site. He. Just. Wasn’t. There.

Joel, will you please sign the papers?

He simply stares at the text message for a good full minute, his thumbs hovering over the screen of his phone. This was one of the rare occasions you had initiated communication with him, always about the progress of the divorce.

No, no, I won’t, the little toddler in him screams, stamping his little feet on the ground.

The papers are not ready.

Joel texts back. He keeps it simple, frightened he might not get an answer back.

Joel, we both know they are. I don’t want any of your assets or your money; this is an easy signature, please.

An easy signature? You think he cares about the houses, or the cars, or the money?

You know I can’t accept that. The house is yours and so is a good part of the money.

The point was to share this house together, Joel, don’t you think us splitting up kind of defeats the purpose? And what on earth makes you think I would ever want to go back in there?

So, there’s nothing I can do to make this easier for you?

Easier? You think money or property can make up for what you’ve done?

Of course not, I wasn’t implying anything like that. Just wanna do something for you, anything.

Can you turn back time?

Of course, he can't. So, he doesn't know what to say to that. He just keeps staring at the screen, lost in thought. After 2 minutes another text follows.

You know I can’t..

Sign the papers. Please.

“Is there anything in particular you want to talk about today, or should I take the lead?”

“Actually I’ve been thinking a lot about that night.”, Joel suggests for the first time. He usually lets the therapist decide where to steer the conversation, then simply refuses to elaborate until he feels ready to talk.

“What about it?”, he shifts his gaze from the window to the direction of her voice.

“I should probably rephrase that. I’m always thinking about that night, repeating it in my head again and again and I’m troubled by something I realized.”

His therapist nods to signal that she's listening.

“Why did she just leave? The more I think about it, the more it doesn’t make sense to me. She just left. No shouting, no breaking things, no attacking either me or-”, her. “Why she didn’t stay? Why she didn’t insist that I leave? She was just- so quiet.”

The therapist smiles in recognition of Joel's near breakthrough. They were beginning to get somewhere, his empathy nudging him under the surface.

“I'm really glad you mentioned that, Joel, so I'd like to take you back to that night and try to understand what might have been going through your wife's mind at that moment," she explains.

“So, she walks into the house, finds her safe space violated by her husband, and she chooses to handle the situation calmly and quietly-” Joel tries to stop her, but she already knows what he's going to ask. “I can't tell you why she chose that path, that's for her to answer, only she knows why.” His therapist continues, “She is making one request of you and one request only, can you tell me what it is?”

“She asked me to leave the house.”

“Hmhm.” the therapist looks at him expectantly.

“I just wanted to talk to her.”, Joel elaborates, “I thought that if I refused to leave, she would accept to listen to me.”

“So you forced your needs on her, while she was in a particularly fragile state of mind.”

“I should have made my intentions clearer, you mean?”

“I mean, that maybe you shouldn’t have had any expectations in the first place. Why do you think was so important to you, to explain yourself right at that moment?”

“Because I knew it was probably the last time I would see her for a while, I just wanted to ease her pain, why is that so wrong? Should I be indifferent? Would that be better?”

“Did it ever occur to you that you might be depriving her of her right to choose?” Come on, Joel, break some eggs.

Joel now begins to make connections. He rubs his hand over his face, the realization of what has really happened crushing him. “Oh, god, I-” He's been so selfish from the start. He hasn't shown you any respect, not even at this delicate moment. He didn't give you a choice as to whether you wanted to listen to him or not. He didn't even let you choose where you wanted to stay. He just made you leave the house. Did he make you believe he wanted you to leave? That he wanted her to stay? Because he didn’t. Fuck. “-I never thought about it like that.”

Fuck.

How could he be so blind? Why was he so blind?

His therapist insisted on it. Because no matter how much progress Joel made over the course of a year, he never revealed the true reason behind his infidelity.

“Joel, we’ve talked about a lot of things; you’ve tried really hard to make this all about your wife and about understanding what she was feeling and how your actions have affected her, but as I keep reminding you”, she smiles understandingly, “you’re the one in therapy, you need to heal your wounds before you even attempt to heal hers. And although it is in fact a really noble thought, this” she gestures between them, “can only work if you do it for yourself. I know it may sound selfish, but I promise you, it is not. It is the exact opposite.”

Fuck.

“Yeah?”, his voice hoarse from sleep as he answers the door after the insistent knock at it. Tommy looks at him surprised once he opens it, “You’re sleeping, already?”. No, he wasn’t. He wouldn’t call it that. But when he goes almost a week without any proper rest, passing out is the right word for what he’s doing. “Yeah, I guess I dosed off..” Joel lies. “What are you doing here?”

“I came to see you.” Tommy responds as he squeezes himself through the door to enter the house. “Yeah, sure, come on in.”, Joel mutters under his breath. “You just saw me at work this morning, is everything all right?”

“I just came to check on you.” Tommy confesses uncomfortably.

“You could have called.”

“Would you have answered?” Tommy deadpans.

Touché.

“Tell Maria I’m fine, Tommy, no need to worry about me; go spend the night where it counts.”, Joel replies in an attempt to push him away, as he walks farther into the house, rounding the kitchen island.

“Hey, brother, I’m here, I am here for you.” Tommy’s eyes narrow in pain and concern as he stares at his sibling's back, following behind him.

Joel exhales hard through his nose, his grip tight as he grabs the edges of the counter, his head lowering between his shoulder blades.

“You shouldn’t, nobody should.” Joel sighs, rubbing the pads of his fingers across his forehead.

“Ok, that’s enough.” Tommy snaps at him. “Enough self-loathing, enough resignation. Enough. You’ve punished yourself enough.”

Joel laughs at that. “Is that right? Is it enough for you? What about her?” he asks, his head turned to the side, looking at his brother over his shoulder.

“What?” Tommy is genuinely confused.

Joel turns his back, resting his waist on the edge of the counter, now looking straight at Tommy. “I should have what? Just get on with my life? Let it all be water under the bridge? Disrespect her even more?”

“Jesus..” Tommy mutters, pinching the bridge of his nose with one hand, the other resting on his hip, his eyes shut in frustration.

“Are you doing this for her? Does she even know that?”

“It doesn’t matter, Tommy!” Joel raises his voice, exasperated. “I’m not doing this for her, I’m not doing anything for her, apparently and that’s the problem.”, his voice breaks, the lump in his throat too big to push down. “She’s not here anymore, Tommy.” he’s standing fully on his feet now, pushing himself away from the counter, leaning slightly forward, like he’s trying to make his brother understand; his eyes are glazed, Tommy had never seen him so devastated before. “She’s gone. I’ve lost her.”, his palms clenched in fists in front of his chest, resisting the urge to wrap them around his shirt and rip it to shreds, as he wants to do with his heart.

“I thought therapy was working..” Tommy whispers, his eyes dropping to the floor beneath him.

“Oh, it’s working, all right!” Joel chuckles in irony, sniffing his nose. “I’m getting a front-row seat, witnessing what a piece of shit I am-”

“Hey!” Tommy tries to cut him off.

“-what on earth was she doing with me to begin with, is beyond me.”

“HEY!” Tommy's eyes bulge out of his sockets, angry at his brother's self-deprecating words. Joel bends his waist forward, puts his elbows on the island in front of him and lets his head sink in again.

“Ok.” Tommy breathes deeply to ground himself, his hands in a position of a prayer in front of his mouth, “Ok, we could both use a drink.” he realizes, as he moves to open the cupboard to grab two tumblers and the whiskey from the shelf with the drinks. “..or five.”

The two brothers drink their first round in silence, both calming their nerves down. Tommy refills their glasses without asking; he knows this is going to be a long night.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you.” Tommy begins, pushing Joel’s drink back towards him. Joel wringles his brows in confusion, “What are you talking about? You’re always there for me.”

“No, I haven’t, not really.” Tommy admits, “I let Maria take over when all this happened and I’m sorry.”

“There was nothing you could do, Tommy, don’t sweat it.”

“Let me say this, please.” Tommy raises his hand, his palm facing his brother. “I was just- fuck, we all knew how much you loved her, how much you loved each other, so when it all went down, I just didn’t know how to deal with it. What to say to you, how to comfort you. I didn't know how to deal with you.”

“You blamed me.” Joel says matter-of-factly.

“No-”, Tommy weakly refuses but Joel shakes his head dismissively, interrupting him. “It’s ok, Tommy, you should.”

Tommy looks embarrassed, his cheeks slightly pinkish, not only from the whiskey. “It’s just that I- I couldn’t reconcile the image of the man you were with her, with.. you know..”, he stutters.

“..the image of a cheater. Say it.” Joel adds.

Tommy shakes his head, like he still can't believe what's happened. “Besides, while she was staying with us those first few weeks I saw how devastated she was, man- she was a shell of a woman, so I was confused, I didn’t know how-”

“Tommy. Tommy, it’s fine.” Joel feels his skin crawl visualizing you like that in his head, cutting his brother off once again; he deserves every ounce of mistrust and he knows it.

“No, it’s not.” Tommy insists. “Yes, you fucked up. Brother, you really did. You did a number on her-”, Joel’s body tenses instantly at his brother’s words, his jaw clenching as his eyes darken, moving down to his hands, his grip on the tumbler tightening, his knuckles turning white and Tommy stops abruptly, “shit, sorry, I didn’t mean-”, his face twitches with regret.

“It’s the truth. That’s exactly what I did.” Joel’s gaze seems detached as if he's somewhere else right now.

“What I meant to say, is that I should have been there for you in spite of what has happened. I can see you're suffering, it's taking its toll on you, it has been for some time now; tell me what I can do. How can I help you?” Tommy seems almost desperate, like he’s the one in need of redemption.

Your text flashes through his mind, can you turn back time?, making him smile bitterly.

“Can you turn back time?” Joel's repeating your question and as the words leave his mouth he can feel your presence next to him. That's the most he felt of you for the last three years. He's almost blissful.

“You know I can't.” Tommy sighs. Joel laughs earnestly, the irony of the moment too good not to appreciate.

“Joel, brother, please, just talk to me. Help me understand. You act like you’re the one who’s been cheated on. So, what happened? Why did you do it?” Tommy is pleading with him to give him anything.

Silence fills the room for much longer than either of them would like. Joel feels torn between telling his brother everything or keeping his mouth shut. He wants to tell him, he hasn’t told a soul, but he’s not sure he can get the words out. He’s not sure he can bear to hear the words coming out of his mouth. He’s not sure he can substantiate it, make it real. Because that’s how it feels. He talks about it and it becomes real.

But maybe this is the right thing to do. That’s what needs to be done. He needs to talk about it. He needs to tell the truth and admit the pain he’s caused. Make it real for you, too. Perhaps it is time for him to give you what is rightfully yours. Acknowledgment.

Joel’s made up his mind. He’s gonna talk to Tommy. He lifts his glass to down his drink for some liquid courage, freezing his hand in mid-air as the next words fall from his brother’s mouth. “First of all, who was it?”

“What?” Joel's eyes search Tommy’s through his glass for an explanation.

“Who did you do?”, Tommy clarifies.

Joel feels like he’s been struck by lightning. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“Who did you fuck, Joel?”, Tommy begins to feel confused, are they not on the same page here?

“You don’t know?”, Joel can barely speak now, his voice low in shock.

“No one does, not even Maria; she never told anyone.”

You told nobody? Not even your best friend? Why on earth would you do that? Did you feel ashamed? Was it just too much to talk about?

But his brain takes pity on him, helping him for once to understand. He’s connecting the dots while your voice fills the corners of his mind through his memories. His head is swarming with images of you standing in that walk-in closet, remembering what you said the last time he saw you. You’re the one I married, not her. I expected better from you, Joel, not her.

You were right.

It didn’t matter who it was. That is why. He was the one making the choice. He was the one breaking his promises, breaking your trust, breaking your heart; breaking you. He was the one who should have known better. He was the one who should have been honest. Easy in theory, hard in practice.

He feels a fresh wave of pain scattering through his body. He welcomes it. Damn, he’s craving it. He’s glad you chose to withhold the identity of the woman. Not because somehow it’s making it easier for him to defend himself, on the contrary.

There’s no one else to blame. Nobody. Just him. All of the anger, the resentment, the disappointment, all of them on him. He embraces them all. Everything. He will take it all, swallow it down and let it rot inside of him.

Joel tells Tommy everything. Everything, but her name.

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