#self advocacy is so necessary but it's so fucking difficult and scary

[neverendingford]

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[hazel2468]

Okay- making a post of my own because I don’t want to derail and the original was specifically about autism BUT:

I get the whole “Oh wow, it’s so BRAVE and SELFLESS and SELF-SACRIFICING that you work with (insert ND/Disabled people or other group here) people!” a LOT. Whenever I tell people that I’m a Social Worker, and that I am currently working with a disability advocacy group, I hear that. And on the one hand, yes, let’s appreciate people who provide basic, necessary services and advocacy to underserved groups (and pay them more- pay teachers and aids and the like MORE).

But on the other hand... this shit is BASIC. I don’t think it’s some sort of massive sacrifice- I’m working to provide the MOST base-line things to the disabled community. Because the system is fucking built to keep them out. It’s a necessary social service, not martyrdom, and it is REALLY fucking gross that people act like I deserve some special praise for working with disabled and ND folks.

I myself am ND and disabled. I’m chronically and mentally ill. I have ADHD and probably some other shit going on. Of course, people assume otherwise, because I don’t fit their idea of what a disabled person looks like, and they also often assume that disabled people can’t do things like be Social Workers (which... yes we can and we do, we do a lot of shit). And when people try and act like I’m some kind of angel of hero for doing my job- my very, VERY basic job, it irritates me and pisses me off to no end.

I shouldn’t be getting praised for working with and around disabled and ND people because we’re just fucking people. I get treated like I’m doing some... Some horrible job that “must be so difficult” and “wow I bet that’s hard to manage” and “it’s so brave of you to do that”. Brave? I make data tables and phone calls and take satisfaction surveys from clients. But I get treated like some kind of saint because I’m working with people who, for some fucking reason, the general public has decided are massively non-compliant (a phrase I have issues with, but that’s another post), impossible to work with, and scary.

Look. If your reaction to hearing someone works with disabled people (or homeless people, or any other marginalized, underserved group) is “wow that’s so brave”... Why? Why is it brave? What makes it more brave than any other customer service? Why do you assume my job is difficult and taxing in the ways that you do? Why do you give me that look (and I bet a lot of y’all know that look I’m talking about, the “oh dear that must be so hard you’re so strong and brave but in a patronizing way” look)? WHY are you so shocken when I tell you that actually, I love my job, I love speaking to our clients over the phone, hearing what they have to say, I love learning more and more about what’s going on in the community- in MY community- right now?

Disabled and ND people are not “difficult”. We’re not some kind of unique burden. We’re people with different needs who exist in a world where those needs are not only not met more often than not, but are treated like something extra and annoying, no matter how basic they are. And folks who work with ND and disabled communities (and any other marginalized/underserved community) aren’t saints or angels on earth. We’re people doing a job, hopefully a job that we’re passionate about, hopefully a job we enjoy, but it’s a job. And we’re just working with people.