#see i was feeling depressed .... wanted wessa..... now feeling even more sad but it's worth it

[alovetold]

@parabathai [ tessa ] continued from here because of beta editor.

every part of will herondale was set on fire. half of him burn, ache and long for his parabatai. and whatever was left of him was all tessa gray's. he had ripped open his chest, handed her his bloodied heart in her delicate porcelain hands. maybe he had given too much, but he knew no way to give less than all he had. will would burn for love, he'd ache and bruise. he would starve for five minutes alone with her. for a second where their eyes would meet or their fingers would touch as they pass each other. there is nothing he wouldn't do for more of those moments.

❝ tess, you must believe me. i mean no ill intent, but i am only but half a man without you. half a soul, the rest is so deeply intwined with you - everything you are. i understand your love may lie elsewhere. somewhere more deserving - but that does not make my mourning of you any less. ❞ tessa was not dead. jem was very much there, and they both loved him. their james. he was no longer will's only. just as tessa would never be will's. in any way it seemed now. a cruel joke. he had been so close to her love - had pushed her away for a curse that did not exist.

will herondale loves love, but he also knows he will never love again. not like he loves jem, never like he loves tessa. she was the sun to his planet, jem his moon. without them both, how was he supposed to be sustained ? how could he not waste away ? would it not be fair to spend the rest of a human life in mourning and grief over such thing ? ❝ i only wish the best for you, tess. even if that is not me. i only wish to see you smile. ❞ even if it would kill him if she never smiled for him again.