#sdfksdf i'm having a blast writing this

[bearsace]

PREVIEW: The Tale of Yukimura, Kamisama, and the Impossibly Long Year

Like all great legends about all great spirits, it began with a single sentence.

Well, something like that. If you asked Yukimura, it would definitely have begun because she provoked him, dammit! She started this— not him.

At least that’s what he’d say. But the history textbooks beg to differ because, as this humble author opines, any goddess-slash-nature-spirit would be offended if some hooligan selling women’s clothing came out of left field and said those Four Fateful Words:

“It’s the boar woman!”

Dear reader, perhaps I should take this moment to backtrack.

Meet our hero: Sanada Yukimura, modest merchant and part-time warlord. In this rewind, our beloved Yuki has found himself in quite the predicament. You see, he is atop a woman, atop a cliff, atop a heap of very, very bad luck.

She was quite lovely, he noted, because he was after all a man. Her skin was soft, like a leaf, and her lips were prettily shaped like a flower petal that frowned up at him.

 But also her hair looked like dirt and she appeared as if she woke up from a long nap. It was not a fetching look.

“You run like a boar,” he said.

Her nostrils flared like one.

“How insulting,” she proclaimed imperiously. “I should smite you for that, but I follow the old laws. Know that that is your first warning out of three.”

“Smite me? What is this, the 1400s? This is 1582. Stop using outdated language.”

“I swear, you’re really pushing it for warning number two.”

One thing to know about nature spirits (which Yukimura obviously did not know she was) is that they are particularly testy when it comes to their items of worship. This particular nature spirit had just had a spat with the actual spirit of boars who was, ahem… 

A bit of a swine, so to speak.

So to be called a boar woman? Yukimura might as well have burned down her shrine.