#screaming over 'i am not a masochist like you' you got me

[bisexuallsokka]

ok hello i have found that i have no choice but to introduce you to my "divorced zukka but slightly to the left" headcanon for a modern au. basically, a pre-transitioned zuko and sokka have a one night stand at the end of their senior year of high school, and never speak again. roughly six years later, sokka is starting his job at an elementary school (not a classroom teacher, like technology or something) and meets izumi, who is so sweet and cute and i swear thats the face katara makes when she's annoyed, and one day happens to see her dad pick up and huh he looks and AWFUL lot like that person i went to high school with and OH GOD some quick math brings an idea to mind.

So sokka attempts to confront zuko who is very much NOPE DO NOT TALK TO ME, but finally breaks down after a series of shenanigans that def do not involve mild stalking. but only to admit that yes, izumi is sokka's biological daughter, and would like to leave their interactions at that, except sokka has NO interest in SIMPLY leaving it at that because!!! he has a kid!!! that he knew nothing about!!! for six years!!!

zuko very much would like to continue living his life without sokka bc being a single young parent is hard enough but he has a good routine and good relationship with his daughter and he doesnt need this, this, SPERM DONOR to just come in here and mess everything up! the guy hasnt been there the last six years, there is absolutely no reason for his to get involved now!! BUT sokka absolutely would have been there if zuko had only TOLD HIM, but how was ZUKO supposed to know that, and did zuko really think so little of him?? except it was a one night stand and zuko didnt even realize he was a boy until right after and he originally wasnt even planning to keep izumi, and HOW could he have just given up their CHILD without ever even telling sokka about her and given him a CHANCE to take her, and WE WERE JUST KIDS AND HE WAS SCARED-

its complicated. and involves a lot of trying not to shout around izumi, who is just over the moon that her dad and her favorite teacher know each other outside of school. and there's a lot of heartache over sokka having to come to terms with the fact that yeah, hes not izumis parent, and there's only so much he can do without stepping on zuko's toes, and he only wants what is best for izumi, and zuko seeing that maybe sokka really does want to be all in for izumi even if zuko thinks sokka really doesnt fully understand what that means, and would it be such a bad thing? not that either of them are going to admit this to the other.

so it starts with small things, like sokka being allowed to pay child support (which hes been begging to do since day one), and maybe it turns out that zukos new coworker is sokkas friend and they end up at the same party where they can really see each other interact with izumi, and a chunk zuko's summer child care plans for the summer fall apart so sokka offers to babysit since his summer job is remote which feels BIG but also reallyyyyy too convenient to reject,

and then something bigger happens where izumi gets hurt at school and while sokka is blaming himself he's also panicking bc the hospital wont let him stay with her bc hes not an emergency contact so he steels himself and later tells zuko he wants to make his relationship to izumi legal. hes not going to have a custody fight, he would never ask for that, but he wants his name on her birth certificate and wants his name on her list of emergency contacts, and its the first time zuko understand that sokka 100% knows what he's getting into here and is willing to be in this 100%.

So maybe sokka moves into this "uncle sokka" role, because zuko still refuses to tell izumi that sokka is her other dad, and yeah that hurts, but sokka would rather have part of izumi's life if he can't have all of it. and sokka gets a better look inside their lives and discovers that its HARD being a young single parent, why would zuko have risked everything he worked for to mix in some guy he barely knew who might decide that zuko wasn't good enough and take izumi away? and zuko sees the pain sokka has from missing out on so many key moments of izumi's young life, and the more sokka is proving himself as a second parent, the more guilty zuko feels. they go through some shit together and its more and more evident that sokka doesnt just want to be that fun uncle, but he's ready more than willing to be a PARENT even when it means being the bad guy.

and maybe they start falling for each other a little, because they are starting to have this LIFE together and its not just about izumi anymore its the way zuko rolls his eyes and gets the new fancy ice pack out of the freezer when a limping sokka brings izumi back from the park, and its the way sokka makes zuko genuinely laugh after a long day at work, and its like their lives are getting fully intertwined-

except that they arent. and they couldn't. because if sokka decides its too much. because if zukos good favor runs out. if it didnt work out between them. they couldnt do that to izumi. what they have is good, its fine, (even if its not enough) they dont want to risk anything that could disrupt izumi's life. shes the priority. and sure, she's already asking questions about the two of them, but what if they don't work right in a real relationship? the way things are now, either of them could back out, and everyone would eventually be ok. maybe. except every time they think about the possibility, it seems like they are already too intertwined, and either of them trying to untangle would just be a disaster, so imagine if they HAD to untangle, and-

so they just end up in an awkward stage of sad pining. because theres no way it would actually work out. because it would hurt all of them. and their life has never been better, but it's never hurt this much either.

ok so i didnt realize i could still write this long in an ask, but essentially i am not a masochist like you, and they do figure it out in the end. this could happen a number of ways, such as izumi just announcing that yeah this is my dad and his boyfriend, or zukka doing the "pining make outs that we never talk about until one of us snaps and we decide to let ourselves be fucking happy", or a very funny "we both snap and bone for one wonderful night to get it out of our system and then we dont talk about it" which leads to an accidental second baby where sokka and zuko both laugh and say whelp it must be fate lets do this the right way this time.

the most important thing is that they both forget to tell izumi that sokka is her biological father, so teenage izumi is very shocked and upset that shes just had to learn this from something totally mundane like applying for a passport, and sokka and zuko do the spider man finger pointing of "i thought you told her" "no, you were supposed to tell her" "did we really not tell her?" and its absolutely disgusting how cute they are

thanks for coming to my tedtalk

i love every single thing about this! sokka wanting to be a part of izumi's life and help zuko out....zuko being reluctant to accept but eventually seeing how sokka is proving himself.....the limbo period where they are both afraid it could end any moment....TOO GOOD! i love every single option for how they could get together for real like this is my favorite take on modern au divorced zukka by far!!!! <3 <3

[squirting-sub]

Painful paddle

I'm not very sensitive when it comes to pain during impact play, but I am a masochist and love pain. My dom also loves hurting me, so we picked out a new paddle (pictured below). The cutouts have very sharp edges and light hits warm up the skin really fast.

First, my dom warmed me up with a flogger while I was bent over her desk. Then, she started with light taps with the new paddle, eventually telling me to get on all fours on the sofa. She cuffed my legs to a spreader bar and told me I'll be getting my previously earned reward of 92 (hard) spanks. Working her way up with the intensity, she waits for the moment I scream into the sofa before telling me to start counting. She tries different spots on my body, seeing which place makes me scream the most. About twenty hits in, after my skin is already red and swollen, she takes the split leather paddle. I've gotten used to it and it didn't hurt me as much anymore. However, with my skin already raw from the new paddle, it made everything more intense and painful. She didn't start out with a light slap either. She immediately went in with full force, making me scream into the sofa even louder, instinctively moving away from her. She throws a blanket over my head so I won't see the slaps coming and to muffle my screams so her neighbors won't hear. Sometimes, she wouldn't use as much force and those slaps didn't count.

30-40 slaps in, she takes the spreader bar and flips me around so I'm on my back. She tells me to remove the blanket so she can look at me. Pushing the bar back, she hits my inner thighs and right below my ass with the new wood paddle. It hurts really bad. For the first time since we started playing together, she sees actual fear in my eyes. I flinch when she raises the paddle to hit me again and she smirks, not hitting me when I expect it but then going even harder. Even though I'm scared and it hurts like never before, I get incredibly horny. The pain turns me on and I like the fear. I especially like how much she's enjoying it. I haven't seen her get this happy when hitting me in a while.

I'm struggling, but she keeps me from moving by holding onto the spreader bar. With the split leather paddle, she also hits my boobs. She hasn't done that before and it stings. After a couple of slaps, I cover my chest with my arms, trying to soothe the pain but also to prevent further slaps in that area. "Move your arms away this instant, or I'll tie them up for you.". I refuse and she hits my arm with the leather paddle. It hurts less than her hitting my chest, so I keep covering myself. Then she counts down from three. It's been an intense weekend and while I love getting her angry and her being rough with me, I don't want to overdo it. I'm thankful she's even trying the new paddle and not waiting. For the first time, I'm also scared what the punishment for not listening could be. So, at "one", I remove my arms, and of course, she immediately slaps my boobs again.

Eventually, she flips me around again and just has fun using all her tools on me. The wood paddle made me sensitive, so the riding crop hurts more than usual as well. A couple hits with a thin wood cane make it break. We both laugh and she continues using her other toys. At 72 she hits me so hard and fast, I can't count anymore and just struggle. I scream and try to get away but she keeps me in place with the spreader bar. After she stops, she checks on me and I smile. "That was good. I like it.". She takes that as an invitation to hit me more, with the same intensity. I never finished counting the 92 slaps.

Some (not so great) photos she took right after to show me the result. I've never bled like this from impact play before and she had to listen to my whining the rest of the night whenever I moved and changed my position. She did put lotion on me and got me ice packs though.

The next day, most of the swelling is gone, but bruises formed and the imprints from the paddle are still very much visible (pictures below). Sitting hurts, but not unbearably. I love being reminded of our sessions throughout the day like this and I keep looking at the interesting new bruises.

[thaywrites]

ᯓ★ PALAYE ROYALE PROMPTS, a collection of prompts / lyrics taken from palaye royale’s songs from their album, the bastards.

( mentions of possibly triggering subjects such as violence, self-harm, death and more. ) 

✦ LITTLE BASTARDS

i can’t take this. i’ve been a little patient.

i’ve got to get away a little faster.

run, you little bastards.

fake friends all around, they watch while i drown. no one is there to help me.

sometimes i’ve been losing my mind, running out of faith.

i’ve been feeling lonely, put me in my place.

so, fuck you — i don’t even like you.

no sleep, got another nosebleed. i can’t feel my face.

✦ ANXIETY

indecisions have been breaking my sanity.

retaliation when i’m full of anxiety.

a band-aid on a bullet hole that’s still bleeding.

numb you up until you can’t feel a goddamn thing.

a generation full of anti-sobriety. a generation that is full of anxiety.

all the voices in your head that keep talking.

all the blood on your skin that keeps crawling.

i was born to be anything i wanted to be, raised to be fucking mean.

i’m a masterpiece.

blasphemy meet again in a world so vicious.

mothers scream, fathers drink and all you bastards scream.

✦ TONIGHT IS THE NIGHT I DIE

lonely, another day. drowning, please save me.

i am struggling in my own daydream.

i know i can’t live much longer, hear the angels sing.

could I be a prisoner to the voices in my brain.

my mind is gone to waste, can’t stand to look at my face.

all these thoughts inside my head will be silenced by the bang.

believe me when i say tonight is the night i die.

as i walk through the valley of the shadow of death, i look at you as i take my last breath.

as i die and fall to the floor, my pain and suffering is no more.

✦ LONELY

my life don’t mean that much to me so i’m living for you.

and you can’t stand the sight of me so what’s the point of this fucked up catastrophe?

i pop these pills to waste some time as i’m fading.

too lazy for a suicide, i just watch the days pass hoping to die.

daydreaming of my funeral — like who would show, bet no one would go.

hey dad, would you show up for me now? just to bury your little boy in the ground.

you broke my heart when you left me.

so sick and tired of being alone. so long, farewell — i’m on my own.

i dug this grave i call my home.

✦ NERVOUS BREAKDOWN

twist the knife just a bit further.

don’t look at me — i think about murder.

i think i’m about to explode. i think i’m goin’ to have a nervous breakdown.

start to feel myself panic again and all the blood rushes to my head.

you say you love me but you still left me — i guess that’s why i hate myself.

you say it’s over but you’re still calling — i guess that’s why i live in hell.

my brain has been fucked enough. please, stop wasting all my thoughts.

cut my throat and please let me go.

✦ MASOCHIST

’cause i’ve been craving your sweet haven.

so i keep turning while your body burns to the ground.

don’t try to tell me that i should go softly.

just look me in my eyes and feed me your sweet lies.

i’ll cut through your alibis.

hang a cross upside down. your church is burning down.

just take me for the night.

✦ BLACK SHEEP

do you see what i’ve become? why are you still holding on?

something lingers in my veins, that’s telling me i’m not the same.

i am sinking now. the water’s over my ears and i can’t hear no sounds.

scream out or drown — can you hear the voice say now?

go home and back to sleep, and count the black sheep. 

go on away from me, i am the black sheep.

you said it’s all in my head, you said it’s all in my brain.

there’s nothing left that you can say to me.

i am everything you hate.

i am unwanted, i’m not the answer. you were hoping that i’d change.

you push me down once again because i seem different.

✦ STAY

i see you for what you are

it’s something in your eyes that look past my scars.

where do you go when you leave in the night? ‘cause i see those teary eyes.

i am the only hope for you and you are the only hope for me, too.

i just wanted you.

so stay this time. don’t go away.

the end is near, i really don’t want to know.

it’s haunting me to watch you go.

✦ REDEEMER

can’t you see that everyone is dying?

the animals are crying, religions are dividing as my family keeps on fighting.

now i’m caught in something — my eternal suffering.

looking for the meaning of it all but i got nothing.

don’t know where i’ll go when i die, must be better than this.

ain’t it sad when you got nowhere to go? got no place to call your home. burden to everyone you know.

i try just not to think about my life so i do another line. it keeps me numb just for the night.

and i’m here just waiting for you to come home.

and i’m screaming all on my own with the revolver and a note.

will you please pick up the phone? will you please come back home?

[inthedarknessofnight]

Y’all know what fucking time it is… in other news, I updated my e-reader this week and it deleted all the pages I had bookmarked/stuff I had highlighted 🥲 the horrors persist but so do I

KAYA’S STEDDIE-FIC WEEK PART 2 🕺🏻💃🏻

1. Lovesick in Loch Nora by @red-0ak-tree

THIS is literally the scriptures, THIS is the ancient texts of Steddie, I’m not even kidding… if I’m trying to get someone into Steddie & reading fics, this is what I’m showing them… the Steddie dynamic is so beautiful and so palpable, and I don’t think I’ve every seen the characters sound SOOO much like themselves (ngl I have a theory this was written by one of the ST writers who wanted to make Steddie happen but the producers wouldn’t let them because COWARDS)… I finished this and immediately went to read it again, purely for the experience of it… most definitely in the top 3 fics I’ve ever read

2. the most remarkable thing about you standing in the doorway is that it’s you by @greatunironic

let me just start out by saying how OBSESSED I am with the title, and then continue by telling y’all how much this fic DESTROYED me and put me back together at the same time?!?! there’s so much beauty and so much pain in this fic, it’s so emotional, vulnerable and authentic… I’d almost forgotten that feeling of when you hang onto an author’s EVERY WORD, but this fic reminded me of that feeling in every single way

3. stereoscope by @seraphhy

this fic is so beautiful in the most painful ways possible (don’t recommend reading while on period, speaking from personal experience 🥲)… if you’re looking for fluff, this is NOT the fic for you, but if you’re an emotional masochist like me, you literally HAVE TO read it, I don’t make the rules… god, there’s just something about Steve being broken and Eddie putting him back together over and over and over again, isn’t there? and don’t even get me started on the turn of phrase in this one… just magnificent

4. The Shire is NOT on Fire by kissesforcas (not sure if this author is on Tumblr)

this fic is like a warm hug, but if the warm hug had really good smut lmao… the premise of this is that Eddie & the kids drag Steve to a renaissance festival/LARP convention, and ofc stuff happens because Steve in fantasy costumes (I’ve never related to Eddie more phaha)… them flirting in this one had me giggling and kicking my feet like a schoolgirl, occasionally even in public but I really couldn’t help myself

to sum up, this might be my favourite week of Steddie fics ever ever ever, they’re all such classics and I’m so beyond grateful I got to read and experience them… I laughed, I screamed, I cried, I mourned, and I would do it all over again in a heartbeat ♥️

[cloroxcasserole]

Ragatha kills Jax again (??) (me when I know) yayyy

words: 1020

summary: Ragatha is like ou cmere bbg and kills Jax rlly brutally and then Caine is like uhm??? And so is everyone else and then Ragatha is cancelled for 8 days.

yah cw for badly written violence

I really need to write something normal. Or good idk this was fun tho

“oh JAAAAX!!” He heard his name called from around the corner he’d just rounded to hide from the rag doll currently chasing him with a damn cleaver. The last thing he wanted was to be cleaved! His breathing picked up as he heard Ragatha’s quiet footsteps near him, quiet to the point where it’s clear she’s trying to be, but failing due to Jax’s very very good hearing (he is a bnuuy!). After a rushed conclusion, he sprinted to a side where he thought Rags wasn’t looking, but was quickly proved wrong by Ragatha calling out as she chased him “Running, are we?” “Of course I am! What do you take me for a MASOCHIST?” he managed out in between heavy breaths from this increasingly fast jog he’s taking that just so happens to have tipped a doll over the edge. “All this pushing yourself is making you seem like one, Jax~!” Ragatha feigned concern, though it was only for a moment, ended by the conclusion of mockery towards the rabbit she was hunting. Jax ignored her in favor of catching his breath around a bend that he assumed was out of her reach. Oh lord was he wrong. “There you are! You know, this would’ve been a lot easier-“ the last word was emphasized with a grunt of effort when she sunk her knife into Jax’s thigh “-had you not run!” She ended as she slid the knife to her left a beat and up back towards her. The rabbit collapsed onto the floor from the lack of support from his leg-or lack thereof- before he fully processed what had just happened “W-WHAT THE F$@K, RAGATHA?” he spat before gritting his teeth, trying not to scream or yell anymore from the almost blinding pain from the severed leg “Oh you think that’s bad? You’ve got a rude awakening coming at you, a lot like my KNIFE!” Bad joke, even worse pain shot through his shoulder as her knife sliced through it. He laboriously groaned and pushed himself up from the black and white- with spreading red accents- tile “What’s..” he paused to readjust his weight fully onto the arm that’s still attached to his body “..the end goal here, buddy? To kill me?” Ragatha thought for a moment before responding with SUCH a reassuring comment “Yep!” Along with a hand digging deep, clutching even, his exposed muscle and… the narration has been paused to deliver you some built up curses of agony from the boio.. “F@&@&&&@@&&&@CK!!! GET YOUR F@&KING HAND OUT OF ME YOU @&$@ @&#%€!!” ..that were only silenced when Ragatha retracted her hand from his arm stump (major L for him 😦) leaving him whimpering on the ground while she appreciated this sight before her, until he was lifted back up by her hand hooking and lifting him by the lower jaw, placing the one with the knife beside it, positioning one of her feet beside his neck before pushing him in the direction of the knife as she sliced and cut away pieces she didn’t want there on him. — “There, now he’ll shut up” Jax faintly heard on top of… below the hush that befell his senses when she kicked him. The world was feeling so far away, but he still managed to feel a dull pain around his jaw. Maybe from opening it too wide to scream? He moved a hand to it, but the hand met nothing but stickiness. He pulled it away to see red. So much red. His pupils shrunk down to tiny squares. Was he dying? He couldn’t be dying! They can’t die, he can’t die, especially not at the hands of her!

-

All that precision she used apparently went unnoticed, seeing as the rabbit barely had any reaction to her. Sighing, she dug her hand back into the muscle that was once hidden by his arm continuing past it. She was in no hurry to get down and get Caine to fix him, because not only would it truly nail in the lesson she wanted to teach him, but Caine could easily bring him back if Jax bled to death from that nasty rip. He couldn’t protest as she pulled him along by the wound that continuously spurted blood up onto her hand.

—

The other 4 circus members had long since been gathered by the stage, chatting among themselves as they waited for Ragatha and Jax to come back. “Maybe they just saw a really interesting gameshow on the tv! I know how easy those captivate me!” Kinger proposed a reading as to why the two were taking this long. “ I don’t think Jax, Ragatha might though, would care about a game show…” Zooble interjected “Ragatha’s probably just making Jax clean up all those centipedes he so loves to throw around, nothing important” pomni didn’t want to believe people abstracted close enough together for them to be discovered on the same day, what would that mean for her and the ones here she’d actually befriended? Including Ragatha, who might’ve just done so? The conversation was stopped as the question at hand was finally answered as Ragatha neared them, dragging behind her Jax’s disfigured corpse. —

Gangle felt a tap on her shoulder, looking up to see pomni facing her, then turning to look at something in the opposite direction the ribbon girl was facing, with a bewildered expression worn on her face. She turned to see the object of the jester’s shock, quickly sharing the same emotion when she saw Ragatha, inaudibly to the rest of them, explaining to Caine why Jax was.. like that.

What was audible though, was Caine’s reprimanding “RAGATHA! THAT IS UNACCEPTABLE-“ he snapped his fingers, reviving Jax, (who I would never let die im so nice) who quickly skittered away to put distance in between him and the doll that had just murdered him, and who even seemingly had fun in the act, while Caine also put Ragatha in a corner with an invisible barrier that had a floating banner that read “NAUGHTY CORNER” “-YOUR SENTENCE IS FOR 1 WEEK!”

“Come onnn! He deserved it! In fact, he deserves to be @&$&%# too!” The ragdoll protested “Ragatha what the f@&k that’s like not even chill” Caine broke character, still trying to process why Ragatha snapping had led to such a DRASTIC change in personality. He knew she would be more violent or irritable but this? He just didn’t understand “PLUS ONE DAY TO YOUR SENTENCE!!”

“Ugh..”

[bennie-jerry]

Black Cat is NOT better than MJ - An Insomniac Rant

Listen, I'll definitely make a post about how crappy a love interest Insomniac's version of MJ is for Peter Parker (and when made, I'll link it in THIS post). But there ain't no way in dog drool I am EVER going to say that Black Cat is better love interest for him. If anything, a part of me would like to argue she's a bit worse.

"Oh, I only like her/ship them as a joke---" Congratulations, you can leave the post because I'm obviously not talking about you :)

Maybe I'm off my rocker, but what about this DC Catwoman copycat screams wifey-material to you guys? Felicia has manipulated, lied to, and used Peter for her own advantage time after time with seemingly no remorse. And even if she supposedly did for one millisecond, she sure as heck doesn't atone for it. And even when she apologized for tricking him into helping her, it sure sounded un-genuine.

Whether she truly had a son or not (though considering Felicia's history of being a pathological liar, I wouldn't put it past her), she used that narrative to trick Peter into a sense of false security, only to then trap him in a room after she got what she wanted.

And let's say that Felicia having a son WAS true. Guess what? THAT'S EVEN WORSE!

Because NOW instead of it just being a slimy scheme to get him vulnerable, she's lying to him by omission. Regardless of what her so-called intentions could be, she's still manipulating him which is an absolute no-bueno for ANY type of relationship (romantic or not).

You guys seriously need to stop glossing over how flawed these characters are just because you're attracted to them.

Y'all will complain up and down about how Peter's constantly broke but then want him to hook up with a chick that'd just steal his money without a blink? Make it make sense.

Once again, MJ is DEFINITELY not a good girlfriend for him either, but are we really going to pick a literal criminal as a love interest JUST because she's pretty?

“Oh, but Felicia has a similar lifestyle to Spider-Man!” Uh…no the freak she does NOT.

Spider-Man fights crime. Felicia COMMITS crimes.

Do they have chemistry? Yes, way more than an actual chemistry lab. But Felicia would absolutely NOT be a good long-term partner for Peter—he deserves way better than her.

At this point, if Peter having a love interest MUST (utterly MUST) be a prerequisite, I'd genuinely prefer he at least (at the freaking LEAST) get with Sable or Watanabe (before she became Wraith, that is—don’t even get me started on that mess) because at least those two try to have SOME (not good but some) sense of decent morality.

“Oh but look at her, she's bad–” You don't need to project the fact you're a masochist on everyone else.

If you're the kinda person who likes being manipulated and taken advantage of by people you find hot, that's your problem you need to get fixed in therapy.

But here's what annoys me the most about this whole thing: I know for a FACT that if MJ was the more attractive one and that FELICIA was mid-looking, you guys would then be SCREAMING for her to be with Peter instead of Felicia.

Really think about it. Without Felicia's looks, what kind of person is she? Is she really someone worth being with? Don't worry, I have the answer: NO-

Felicia is in NO way a better love interest for Peter and I'm tired of people acting like she is just because she looks like an Instagram cosplayer.

“Felicia's always been this way in the comics and stuff—”

As if that makes it any better. If anything, all that's doing is giving me MORE proof as to why she's not a good person for him WHATSOEVER.

If the genders were reversed, you'd all be grossed out by Felicia, let's not even lie. If Felicia was a guy doing all of this to a female version of Peter, you'd all be calling him a creep and trying to cancel him on Twitter -_-

[archer-fb]

Bratty Tengen my beloved. How about some more punishment for him? "Ah! F-fuck..." Tengen let out a cry as he was struck with the crop again, the sound hashira having, yet again, defied the simple orders you gave him. His cock was hard, and oozing with pre, aching to be touched. "How many was that, Uzui?" You asked coldly, weaponizing his last name. He wasn't supposed to enjoy this, so you decided to not simply degrade him like normal. He'd enjoy it too much. "I-I lost count. 'M'sorry, I-" Smack! "Ah!" "You stupid slut. Start again. Count out ten." You hissed, venom lacing your voice. "This has been the third time you've lost count. We're not even halfway through this punishment. When I'm done with you, you'll be nothing but a fucking cock hungry whore!" Tengen moaned at the notion, his cock twitching with need. He cried out again. "O-One!" He rasped out before he was struck again, a loud cry of your name leaving him. Your thigh felt wet. "Did you just cum?" You asked, glaring at the silver haired man, teary magenta eyes returning your gaze as he panted. "I-I'm sorry, 'm so sorry, d-did- didn't mean to- SHIT!" Tengen nearly screamed feeling his ass being struck by your palm this time. A whine leaving his chest afterwards as he began to shake slightly, struggling to keep himself propped up across your lap. "I can't get anything drilled into you, can I? You little brat. Fucking masochistic slut, get on your fucking knees, you're not leaving this room until I say you can, got that?" "Y-Yes, master..." Tengen spoke, breathing ragged and cock hard as he got down in front of you, legs tucked under his reddened cheeks. He loved this treatment, you and him both knew this. You truly just indulge each other. "Do you remember the safeword?" You asked sweetly, looking at him, worried you may have overstepped. "Yeah, I do. We're good to keep going." He replied, voice hoarse, but laced with love. "Good." You hummed, standing over him and looking down at him as your eyes gained that darkened glare that sent chills down his spine. "Make your mouth more useful then." -🍶 P.S. Sorry I felt soft at the end.

ima continue this cause yes

"mmm such a good boy for me~ making your master feel so good. but are you ready to not be a brat? i don't think that was enough for mt fully forgive you..." you say to him.

"i-i'm sorry! I really am, please master. what can i do to have you forgive me? i'll do anything, please, please just forgive me!" he begs

"oh? anything you say? i think i have a few thing in mind, love~"

@glitchtricks94 you wanted me to tag you <3. but anon you just helped me get out of writers block

[the-purple-shirted-tickler]

First Session megapost!

As requested, I’ll go into more detail!  Not only did I finally get to have my first tickling session, but I had the honor of being part of a group gang tickling none other than @yourlittlettoy !  Earlier in the day at that little gathering, @theswitchfinch and @mikoz6916 had taken their turns getting wrecked and were looking for some revenge, and Cece said she wanted multiple lers so they invited me to join them in destroying her!

She shyly admitted she didn’t want a safeword, so we agreed that when she was desperate enough to say “tickle” instead of “t-word” we’d take that as a safeword!

We started with her in spread eagle cuffs on a bed, mostly upperbody but all over really.  I’m more of a feet guy personally, but in this first session I was pleasantly surprised just how fun tickling Cece’s upperbody was!

Sometimes it was hard to tell who was getting which reactions with the absolute chaos of three lers overwhelming poor Cece, but on occasion I’d notice the other two had stopped to enjoy the show and what I was doing really was driving her nuts by itself!  You know that incredulous reaction lers have where they’re surprised just how ticklish a lee is?  Yeah, that’s real. (At least this time)

Cece wasn’t blindfolded, but half the time she might as well have been from squeezing her eyes shut and her hair getting increasingly messy from all of her thrashing.  However, I did treasure the moments where we’d slow down and she’d plead with her eyes for things not to get worse.

If you’ve followed Cece’s tumblr for more than five minutes you’ll know most of her reactions: loud laughter, “pleeeeaaaaase!”, “stahahahahahap!”, and the like.  There were plenty of those, and everyone in the other rooms at the gathering surely got to hear it live from where they were, but we discovered a new one too!  Eventually certain reactions included her giving this lower groan as if to say “UGH this is so embarrassing how flustered and ticklish I am right now” so of course we lers were happy to mimic and tease her for that as well!  Still not sure exactly what was prompting that reaction, so I suppose we’ll have to do more science later

Any tag readers on her page will know that Cece claims to be an escape artist.  That’s partially true.  She could occasionally get her arms free from the wrist restrains, but she was no match for the fact that at least one of the three lers would be more than happy to pin down her escaped limbs while the others continued to tickle the sensitive spots that couldn’t quite escape

Speaking of sensitive spots, totally don’t read the classified information in the following strikethrough but I noticed her upper inner thighs, neck, underarms, and soles got some great screams out of her

When she got to the point where she was begging and saying she’d “do anything” to stop her current predicament, I curled the monkey’s paw and had her agree to move over to the bondage table/stocks and have that be a breather for her as we applied the new bondage.

A previous session that day had broken the latch on Clay’s stocks, but the new shin straps on that setup were the MVP keeping her feet in place.  The toeties weren’t the greatest but I suspect Cece was a good sport playing along like her toes really were stuck there for a while because she loves it

I’m told one of the other lers was at her head for the table portion whispering teases into her ears to fluster her even more, but you’d have to ask Cece what was said!  I’m sure she’d love to tell you and won’t at all be blushing and flustered, right?

I went to grab the baby oil, at first originally planning to go straight to her feet with it, but then the other two suggested I should come put it on her underarms while they had them nice and vulnerable!  “Well, don’t mind if I do!” was went through my head.  And don’t worry, I was sure to make plenty of eye contact as I spread it, and Cece being the excited masochist she is was all to happy to reciprocate

I did wind up returning to her feet with the oil and got a good amount of finger tickles on them while the others continued with her upperbody, but I only got about five seconds of hairbrush tickles on one of her feet before the other slipped free from the previously-broken stocks and our session’s timeslot was up!  I think we need more time with that next time, don’t you?

While we were cooling down, Cece was saying "I hate you guys” and she was totally for real and we totally believed it, it’s not like she loves being a ticklish masochist or anything, right?

I did throw in a nice little foot massage during the cooldown, I hope you liked that Cece

Hope you had half as much fun reading all that as I did being part of it!  Thank you so much to everyone there for including me and finally making my dreams come true!

[mamawasatesttube]

I am lost in the sauce of thinking about how Bruce would react to Robin!Kon. Does he obsess over the fact that an alternate version of him lost and replaced Tim? Does he feel guilty for not taking Kon in in this version of reality? Is he paranoid about and/or intrigued by the potential of a Superboy with full Robin training?

(Knowing Bruce, it’s probably option D: all of the above, but expressed in the worst way.)

he would stand on the roof and brood. so much.

GOD okay no but delving into the bruce and kon dynamic is so... HNG. it's thorny because bruce has been written as warm and kind to kon AND an anti-meta racist asshole to kon. because of who i am as a person i tend to ignore and throw out the latter bc i want to like bruce and its really impossible to make him consistent as a character without picking and choosing stuff to throw out, but... whoof.

but with that established it's so... augh. the idea of having lost tim (who only ever became robin because he lost jason first - that's two robins, two kids, dead, one after another) absolutely would haunt him. the idea of superboy (an alternate universe superboy, no less, one he knows very little about) knowing all the bat secrets and tips and tricks... well, it's not as bad as it could be, since he does trust clark's judgment and clark trusts superboy and all, but. it's not his favorite thing.

honestly, i think main universe bruce would be so fucking awkward with robin kon, more than anything. he wouldn't know how to handle the horror of his existence + this version of kon who knows him so much better than he knows kon.

what i think is really fun, though, is robin kon's relationship with his own bruce.

tim dies. bruce spirals hard. he's in a dark pit. this is jason all over again - worse, in a way, because he never fully got over jason and now it's happening again and all the old wounds are reopening but now there's new ones on top. he is in a deep, dark pit.

and then superboy joins him there.

this is a young kon. he's still sixteen. he's never experienced loss before. his first brush with grief is his best friend being ripped away from him, and he's barely even a year old. it consumes him.

so he gravitates to the other person being wholly consumed by grief. and here's bruce, broken and grieving hard and furious with the world and himself, faced with another child who loved the child he just lost so much he can't let go. what can he do? can he bring himself to turn aside a boy who loved his boy? tim's best friend? can he really?

of course he can't.

they don't make each other better so much as they just... keep each other on a leash. bruce can't let himself go too far, get too reckless or suicidal or masochistic in punishing himself, because if he has a near-scare there's a boy waiting for him back home to cry and scream and rip into him that he can't do that, he can't, i've already lost tim you can't make me lose you too you can't do that to me you can't.

he trains kon to act as a robin. to wait, to listen, to learn. to hide his strength and his flight, to keep secrets bigger than himself. he trains kon and puts him behind robin's mask - another child in that costume, wearing new colors this time - and hopes he's not making a mistake.

but hey. at least this kid is more... crowbar/explosion/bullet-proof?

[bvnnyl0v3r]

An Angel's Kiss pt.4

A/N: okay imma immediately say: I‘ll continue the timeline as it is rn and work my way up (mainly bc i live in germany and we only got 23 parts and the 24th part is coming out in idk how many months I am dying from spoilers 😭😭😭) also like idek why I am writing Nikolai to be a total asshole he‘s my fave character but at the same time I just….. is it wrong to want tobe mistreated by a white haired man who definetly does not have all his cups in the cupboard (someone help It‘s 3am and that cupboard cup thingy is a german thing that we germans say instead of having some loose screws I am so fucked out) 

TW: mention of near death experiences, blood, wounds, dirty talk, Nikolai is still just….. *sighs dramatically*, needles, slapping, for once (NAME) is being the weird one

What you did not expect this lovely morning as you woke up was….. Nikolai. In your bed….. well okay you sorta did expect it since he does not know personal space with you but the unexpecting part was that he was covered in blood, you were covered in blood and your sheets were covered in blood. You checked to see if that bastard actually dared to die in your arms but luckily he didn‘t.

While you coulhave done the world a favor and left him to die your dumbass‘ first thought was to drag him into the kitchen and pour cold water over him to wake him up and then get out the medkit. After all Fyodor‘s surgery book did help you sew some of the wounds shut. Well that was while Nikolai was still half asleep half dead but now he was neither half asleep nor half dead so he was just groaning like the fucking masochist he is.

And sitting there trying to treat someones wounds while they keep on saying:

“that‘s it darling….. just like that…. Fuck that burned….bet you like me like this don‘t ya, baby~ whimpering just for you~ ngh~“

Was not at all a pleasant way to pass your time so after the first 15 minutes you‘d had enough

“Can you stopdirty talking me while I treat you fucking wounds???“

„But baby, my pretty darling, don‘t you looooovvveeee meeee~“

….

when Sigma came in because he heard a scream….

…..

…he just immediately walked out again at the sight of you stabbing nikolai‘s main blood vain in the upper arm. Sadly he survived....

About 10pm you wanted to go to bed. A good plan indeed as Fyodor was finally out the house just as sigma and fukuchi so it was just you and Nikolai. Nikolai had gotten a set of rules from the others. Much against his will as they "chained him even more than he already was" and "he'll never be free" but at some point agreeing when fyodor told him he'll lock him up in an actual bird cage if he doesn't collaborate.

So you finally got your sleep. 4 lovely hours until you shrieked up from a nightmare. To terrified to go back to sleep in your own bed you took a light and walke dover to Nikolai's room. To your surprise he was already asleep wich you found weird as you didn't think he'd sleep before 3am but who cares anyway. You were gonna wake him up and make him help you somehow. I mean yeah he may not seem the smartest but he actually can have some brain. 

So here you were. Sitting on Nikolai's bed. Trying to get the snoring bastard to wake up as he kept on sleeping. You got tired again so in the end you decide ife he can you andomly cuddle up to you so can you.

...

You don't know when you woke up but Nikolai was in a shock state. Looking at you with eyes wide open and an awkard grin. His arms tightly around your waist. Seeing this terrifying sight infront of you your flight or fight instict kicked in and you slapped him.

"OW WHAT THE FUCK (NAME)"

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING STARING AT ME LIKE THAT"

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING IN MY BED"

"I COULDN'T SLEEP IN MINE I HAD A NIGHTMARE"

"SO YOU DECIDED TO GET IN MY BED WITHOUT WAKING ME, CUDDLE UP TO ME AND SLAP ME AS SOON AS YOU WAKE UP"

"I TRIED WAKING YOU UP BUT YOU SNORING BASTARD DIDN'T WAKE UP"

Then silence made it's way through the room until Nikolai speaks

"let's get mclfurries"

"For once youhad a good idea"

A/N: idk wtf happened at the end i'm honest. It's 3am again I can't sleep HELP THIS WAS IN MY DRAFTS FOR 3 MONTHS OR SO

[hyunlixsbbygirl]

❥Drama Talk

Only Friends episode 9

✨I am not prepared✨

I like that Top isn’t bombarding Mew with details of the party and is just making sure that he’s okay for now.

Seeing both Sand and Ray look so… hurt and tired is heart wrenching. They both need the comfort of the other but I have a feeling that they won’t let the other in. I love that Ray is admitting that he’s finally understanding his feelings though - he doesn’t specifically say his feelings are for Sand but the way he looks at him just screams it.

This whole “if you want to hit me then do it” is not the vibe. Like I know Sand won’t hit him (push maybe) but we all know Sand is a lover first and a fighter second - only fighting when needed. Ugh, why can’t they just kiss and make up already?

😳Nevermind…

The desperation in this kiss though! They have been CRAVING that connection for awhile, like the way Sand didn’t even hesitate to kiss him back and how they both are just grabbing onto each other as though they are long lost lovers finally reunited - it’s just amazing.

WHY DO YOU ALL JUST GRAB THE DAMN PHONE AND START RECORDING WHENEVER YOU SEE SOMEONE KISSING?!?!?!?!?!

Like bro… I don’t care if you know the person. You just don’t record them for your personal vendetta! Jesus…

Okay, does Boston have like a massive dick or something? Like why are all these guys (who see the red flags clear as day) all end up trying to go back? Boston literally lays it on the damn table that he is not into relationships and only wants one night stands and yet for some reason these guys just decide to ignore the warning sirens going off and fall for him anyway! Like bro HAS to just be like well endowed.

Ooh! Roomie camping trip! Our boys honestly needed this - like they’ve both been through hell and deserve to just rest and relax for once without worrying about anything. Time to really think over their feelings and what they really want since no one seems to actually tell them to do so or even care about their needs. Granted, them being masochists honestly makes so much sense.

Ah. The first mention of this “daddy Dan” person this episode. I genuinely want to know what kind of person he’ll be - similar to Boston in that he just lures people to bed and ditches them or similar to Top in that he was once a play boy but fell for one of his prey?

Hmm… a new boy toy for Mew?

Oop enter Top stage left. Honestly, thank goodness. I feel like Mew would have left with that guy if Top hadn’t been there to step in.

And enter Ray stage left - like what happened to wanting Sand? You said you understood your feelings now and yet you went to Mew knowing that he’s not the person you really want. Like you are more confused than me in math class.

The way Ray looks at Mew is completely different than how he looks at Sand. With Mew it’s just comfortable, it’s like he’s not quite forcing himself to commit to this two year crush but he’s also not fully into it. With Sand, he looks like he just met the one person that could save him for good and is just really into being with Sand in every possible way. I will say that I’m surprised Mew let Ray kiss him without Top being there - like he just seemed so turned off by the idea of them kissing at the party.

I think the reason Ray got so mad about Mew not sleeping with him is because it’s forcing him to see that he’s just a rebound. Mew doesn’t actually love him the way he wants him to - Mew loves him as a friend but nothing more. Ray wanted to believe that this wasn’t the case but Mew is proving it by stopping him from progressing past a short make out session. It’s also forcing Mew to admit to himself that he still wants Top though, even though he wants to forget about Top.

I know it looks like Ray is going to Sand for sex but hear me out… I think Ray was testing Mew, he wanted to see if Mew really loved him or not and he got his answer so now he wants to test Sand and see if Sand truly likes him or not - it’s his way of sorting through his feelings; if Mew rejects him, he can finally move on and be with the person he really wants to be with. If Sand rejects him then he didn’t really like either of them. If Mew had slept with him, he would have stayed with Mew believing he really loves him just like if Sand accepts him, he’ll know that he really wants Sand. Just wait…

HOLD UP….

NICK….

Don’t tease me… didn’t I just say last week that I wanted to at least see Sand and Nick make out? ISTG

I LITERALLY DID! DONT EVEN TELL ME THIS IS HAPPENING!

Okay…

Now that I’ve stopped screaming. I will say that while that kiss was honestly really good, I’m glad they realized that they would never work as boyfriends. I mean Nick and Sand are cute but they just don’t work in that sense. I love that they’re laughing it off while cuddling too, it’s just so wholesome and sincere.

Ray actually drove to Sand…

Does Ray have like a threesome fetish or something 😂 my man has brought this up three times already like boy get out of here! I can’t with you. I will say that Ray cuddling up to Sand like a monkey is adorable though.

Top is incredible - going after Mew’s moms in order to win him back. Honestly, job well done my dude!

WAIT! Sand and Ray have been sleeping together this whole time?! Since when? Like since the first time we saw them or like did they stop and then start up again sometime around when Sand showed Ray that audio clip? Like I need this story!!!

Yes Sand baby! Put up those boundaries! I am so proud of you for speaking your heart and mind and letting Ray know that you aren’t going to be his side piece!

I understand where Ray is coming from though; he likes Sand and wants to be with him but Mew is special and has been for years - letting go of his feelings for him won’t be easy no matter how much Ray wants to let go. I was in that position before and up until about 3 years after he dumped me - I would have gladly ran back to him even though I had feelings for someone else at the time. It’s hard to let go of familiarity in order to have something that brings you true happiness.

YAS TOP! That is how you win someone back! Not with dirty tricks but with showing your true feelings and offering nothing but respect for them until they feel like they can forgive you!

Nick 🤝🏼 Rain “Daddy doesn’t mean father in this case” It means you’re hot and please fuck me

Oh so Boston was there hmm? I think he saw Nick and Dan kissing so he put on a show with another guy just in case Nick saw them. Boston wants Nick to be jealous, he doesn’t know why but he knows he does. My theory is that Boston really loves Nick but refuses to admit it because he’s scared of committing to someone who has the potential to hurt him.

Oh… Nick’s speech to Boston is heartbreaking but like it needed to happen. Nick needed that closure for himself to no longer hurt but you can tell it hurt Boston in a way that he wasn’t expecting. I mean he actually left his hit it and quit it situation to go after Nick. Something about those words got to him. Interesting.

This conversation between Sand and Ray though; you can tell that Ray is asking these questions to see how much Sand cares for him - the more he realizes that Sand really loves him, the more he’s letting go of his feelings for Mew and finally allowing himself to feel the love he has for Sand. Them confessing that they’ve never been like this for anyone though?!?! My heart is racing!

THIS BED SCENE!!

This isn’t just two people having sex - they were making love. They were putting their feelings for each other into that and really giving themselves to each other finally. Those cheek kisses afterwards too though! Like if they don’t become end game I will cry for the rest of my life.

See, Mew isn’t even mad that Ray picked Sand. He even admitted to using Ray to piss off Top. They both saw the signs and still tried to force themselves to be with each other because it made sense at the time. I am glad that they can walk away from this as friends and even joke about it. It shows that their bond as friends was truly strong.

Who is this now?!

Going to Top’s apartment too? Like sir, who is you and why are you hot?

THAT WAS BOEING?!?!?!?!? EXCUSE ME?!?!?!?

Bruh! What was that preview though?! I am not ready for this! Like I’m glad Boston is realizing how much of a shitty person he is but like why is dragging Nick into it?! Also are Top and Mew end game then? So Ray actually goes to rehab for Sand?! I AM SIMPLY NOT READY FOR NEXT WEEK

[hikeyzz]

16!! (from the ask game)

If you could have sex without any consequences or restrictions at all (eg. no matter how risky it is you can’t die or be hurt - more than you want to be, that is, wink wonk - and you could fit comically huge things inside you without issue), what would you do?

👀 on god this ... of all the questions.....

okay this is fantasy ONLY and tw for guns, knives, blood, rape, and kinda snuff ig

I would get fucked with a loaded gun with their finger on the trigger the whole time. Sobbing and shaking and terrified for my life. And finally being relieved when they fuck me with their cock instead. Only for them to pull out a dagger and make me lick the blade, dragging it down my body, pressing it against my stomach and telling me to beg for my life. Wiping away my tears with the blade and telling me I begged so pretty for them. Only for them to pull their cock out of me and replace it with the dagger, fucking me on it as I scream and bleed out. When I've gone into shock and they're satisfied by the empty look in my eyes they fuck me again with their cock, sticking the gun in my mouth and fucking it, occasionally shooting into my head and watching me pass out and come back. Blood and cum splattering all over as they drain their balls inside me. My body healing slowly, the blood covering us both, the blood soaked dagger and gun are the only proof of the assault. I'd break into sobs, coming back and realizing everything they'd done as they turn into the most soft caring reassuring twisted fck ever. Holding me close and letting me get all the tears out, telling me I did so well and that must have been soooo scary. Their hands still covered in my blood, wiping away my tears and rubbing it on my cheeks. Rocking me and telling me I'm safe, they've got me, it's all okay now. Coming down and they ask me how that felt and I shudder as I tell them what the pain felt like, feeling them get hard again underneath my ass but they just listen to me and run their hands through my hair. Asking if I liked it, if it made me excited to be slashed to bits and brutalized for them. I blush and they kiss me sweet and soft and ask if I'm getting turned on thinking about it. They feel my wetness leaking out of me and turn to making me cum over and over again, tormenting me about what a little masochist I am and how I'd do anything to make them happy, even be impaled, shot, and bleed out...

so. um. yeahh. that. 😵‍💫

[transmissionsfromthebattlefield]

A Roundtable Discussion on Heavy Metal (and Melanie)

A few days ago, my boyfriend sent me a link to Lil Pump’s recent smash hit “Pump Rock x Heavy Metal” saying, and I quote, “DO NOT LISTEN TO THIS.” But it’s hard to not forcefully contaminate myself to music that is atrocious to make the good music all the more worthwhile. That’s how dedicated I am to my love of music.

Besides, I was meaning to explore this on my own anyways after hearing Lil Pump’s glorious, glorious weird scream-grunt noise on an Instagram story. Let’s review whether or not Mr. Gucci Gang is able to elevate two of rock’s most iconic subgenres to the modern age.

“Bob” help us.

The intro is, fittingly, the most stereotypical take on punk rock possible, and is probably most similar to what disconnected old farts think all punk rock sounds like. Mediocre Generica was the title of a (much more sonically interesting, if guilty pleasurable) Leftöver Crack album, and it fits here. Upon further reserach, last.fm tagged this song as rock, metal, nu metal, rap metal, drone metal avant-garde, beatdown hardcore, AND crossover thrash, so maybe my aural analysis is subpar. Maybe all this time I was actually the musical equivalent of one of those people who gets repulsed by eating anything better than McDonald’s and I had no idea. If so, I feel ashamed.

In this striking vein, I’ll give the rest of the song some credit: the production is actually interesting! Sonically, it’s more interesting and attention-grabbing than a lot of the more recent music I’ve heard, with an intense throbbing bass line that I particularly like. Too bad it’s got Lil Pump singing over it. I love having to hear scrawny men with awful hair sing about emo bitches and having a dagger dick, which is extremely disturbing. He calls himself a narcissist in this song, which makes sense with how self-indulgent and oblivious to common sense the lyrics are. As a complete outsider to the whole “emo rap” or whatever scene, I’m kind of fascinated by the repeated motif of wrist-slitting throughout the song - if this song is declaring itself “heavy metal,” does this mean that all those sensational news reports from the eighties about how those poor teens were beckoned to kill themselves because a Judas Priest song told them to, were actually true? It’s hard to overlook lyrical content when someone has such an awful voice.

This song seems to have been created for people who enjoy the concept of punk rock and heavy metal, but don’t have much knowledge in anything beyond the sloganeering and looking like you have street cred. I doubt Lil Pump has much knowledge past that regard either, or has any interest in going beyond it in his music.

I had been meaning to write this post for a short while, but I kept getting busy. But yesterday morning, the Instagram algorithm similarly offered me another current music faux pas that my masochistic brain just had to subject myself to, and I just had to get something about it out there. This time, it was a paragraph Melanie Martinez had written explaining one of the songs on her new album, because her fans are apparently too dumb to be able to come to their own conclusions about the meaning of her songs. She says:

This is obviously the best thing to be reading while you’re preparing breakfast. Funnily enough, Lil Pump also alludes to period sex in his previously mentioned song.

I read the lyrics, which I refuse to link because they’re stupid, and I listened to as much of the song I could stand, which wasn’t very much. It sucked. You know when you only read the lyrics to a song and you come up with your own musical accompaniment in your head? I knew it wasn’t going to be as good as my brain’s assumptions, but I was stunned. You would think that an artist who is supposedly going through some radical image change would make music that similarly pushes boundaries, not just something created solely to be covered on a ukulele. It was one of the most mild mannered, unoffensive sounding songs I’d ever heard.

As for the lyrical content, it is sad to me how Melanie could not even come up with a basic metaphor to convey her idea. Like Little Pumperton, who uses the usual guns-and-cars flexing to communicate masculine hood prowess, Mel resorts to the most basic, blatant concepts to get across her point of being...a woman who exists and does things, I guess. As a cisgender young female, I technically should be on this song’s side, but it only comes off as condescending. I don’t need something that is completely natural and familiar to me explained to me in such, er, explicit terms. (“Womb shedding.” Gag.)

If I’m somewhere near the target audience for Melanie’s music in terms of my age and sex, then I’d say we deserve better. Young women can think for themselves and don’t need to be spoon-fed a fourteen year old’s concept of lyrical depth in order to feel “empowered.” Neither do young men need watered down portrayals of material wealth, hoe-wrangling, and glorified self harm. In today’s world, everyone fears being misunderstood. But the answer to that should not be undermining people’s intelligence and spoon-feeding them lowest common denominator nonsense. People should be allowed to bring their own interpretations to the songs they listen to and not have everything spelled out to them. Nuance and complexity are good things, and they should be present in what we see, read, and listen to. We should be encouraged to think critically about what we consume.

If we don’t, then...well, I guess we let songs like these take the world by storm.

[r-gii]

The Egg Laying of Mrs. Easter Bunny - Chapter 3

Buttercup just stared at Bambii in shock, unable to process the words he had just said.

"Before you marry me, you should know..." Bambii continued hesitantly, "The Mrs. Easter Bunny... it's up to her to lay all the eggs for Easter."

Another silence.

And then Buttercup started squealing. She just stood there and let it all out, jittering all over with the pure amazement of it all.

Bambii was watching her with wide eyes, and Buttercup realized he must be thinking she was horrified. She was totally NOT horrified, she had to let him know.

"YES!" She cried out, "I LOVE IT! I LOVE IT! I'd love to be Mrs. Easter Bunny! I LOVE it! Being with you AND laying all the eggs in the Universe? Oh my goodness, I can't believe this is really happening! Can this be true!? YES!"

Bambii just looked at her taken aback. "You mean, you actually want...?"

"I mean no, yes, this is perfect! So you're really saying I get to lay all the Easter Eggs, for millions and millions of children, every single year?"

Bambii nodded uncertainly.

Buttercup started chortling to herself, "Oh my goodness, that's gotta hurt so bad! This is so perfect. I am gonna hate this so much! And by that I mean this is the most hilarious thing in my life!"

Bambii just stared at her, "You're actually looking forward to this?"

"I've spent my whole life watching chickens lay eggs just wondering what it's like to be in that kind of situation. I always hoped I would have bunnies someday, but I never dared to hope to think that I may actually have a chance to lay actual real live eggs myself (Bunnies are sort of sad that way). But now you're saying that if I become the Mrs. Easter Bunny, I will do it every single year, millions and millions of unbelievably painful eggs?" Buttercup gasped through all her words. "Of course I'm in!" She looked at them, eyes glowing, "It's like destiny!"

Mrs. Easter Bunny and Bambii exchanged glances. This was definitely not the expected response.

Mrs. Easter Bunny stepped forward, "I'm going to warn you not to step into this role lightly, this is not an easy task," Mrs. Easter Bunny warned, "you're going to regret your life. I was born into this job, the past Mr. Easter Bunny was actually was a normal Bunny until he married me, I've been doing this my whole life, and most the time I still don't feel like I'm ready for it."

Buttercup's face just glowed. "Is it weird that that makes me want to do it more?"

"Some," Bambii admitted. "You're a masochist, aren't you?"

Buttercup giggled to herself, "I think..."

Bambii blinked. "Okay then."

Mrs. Easter Bunny looked at her seriously. "I don't think you know what you're in for, this is pain, real excruciating pain, non-stop until all the eggs are laid. Rabbit's bodies aren't meant to give birth to something as big as eggs, and there are millions of them."

"I know!" Buttercup marveled, "Imagine me screaming for my dear Soul, unable to stop it."

Mrs. Easter Bunny just looked unfazed, "You don't even really know what pain is, do you?"

"Oh I know pain alright," Buttercup said, "Got this really painful blister on my foot the other... day, just the thought of putting too much pressure on it..." She shivered, "I can't even. I'm guessing egg laying is much, much worse. No amount of reflexes can pull you away. Oh the intensity of it, IT'S JUST GOTTA BE SO EPIC!"

Mrs. Easter Bunny just rolled her eyes. "Well, about that blister, I'm sure you've both had a very long night. If we're really going to do this, I advised you all get rested up. I'll show you to your room, uh..."

"Buttercup."

"Buttercup. But I must again warn you, once you settle down for this marriage, there'll no going back. Not that I'll be missing out on anything, I'm done with my work for this year, and if you take my place, I'll never have to see another egg again. But again, I know what I'm talking about here."

"Of course. Must be pretty bad with how you keep talking about it. And that's what makes it so great, unlike putting weight on the blister, you can't back out of an egg once it starts, all you can do is let it overtake you and scream through the flow!"

Mrs. Easter Bunny shook her head, "You are one strange little rabbit."

"I know, I love it!"

With that, Mrs. Easter Bunny led the way toward the Bedrooms. Buttercup turned back to give Bambii a last fluttering look before following after his mother.

Bambii realized they had got so caught up in their conversation, Mrs. Easter Bunny had totally forgotten their invitation to meal. Oh well, he was tired from his night's travels, he'd just as well grab a quick snack from the fridge before hitting the bed.

Buttercup's room was cheery with bright blue wallpaper and pinky-like trimmings, very Eastery and such. Her bed was kind of eggy-shaped, with the softest looking mattress of all time. Buttercup had never seen such coziness in her life.

"This is my room!" She gasped. "I love the Eastery colors!"

Mrs. Easter Bunny nodded, "I still don't think you know what you're getting yourself into, but even though the work is hard, this place is home. If you choose to stay here, we'll see to it that your off-time is worth your while. Now get some rest, I'm sure you're tired and even a masochist can enjoy a little relaxation time every once in awhile."

"You bet!" Buttercup exclaimed, leaping into the cozy bed, absorbing its warmth and softness. Mrs. Easter Bunny rolled her eyes and turned to leave. Back at the door, she paused and turned to look at Buttercup.

"I'm a little worried about leaving you in here by yourself?"

"Of course I'll be fine," Buttercup exclaimed, "I'm only really into incidental pain really, pain that happens because that's the way things are. It's not very funny when it's intentionally inflicted. When it just happens, it's like an inevitable joke to my hilarious body."

Mrs. Easter Bunny sighed, "Well then, just keep yourself safe, okay."

And with that, she left Buttercup the room to her own.

As Buttercup laid in her bed, curling bunnily under the snuggy blankets, she embraced the coziness never before.

Someday, her little body would be under the poor clutches of pure agony, but right now, she had never felt such comfiness. And somehow, they both seemed so perfect, she couldn't even.

The next day, Bambii and Mrs. Easter Bunny gave Buttercup a tour of the factory.

"So, what's all this business about me laying the eggs?" Buttercup questioned the first chance she got, excited for any more info she could get.

"You see," Mrs. Easter Bunny replied, "The missus lays all the eggs for Easter morning while the mister gathers and sorts them out. From Passover to Good Friday this continues non-stop, then on Easter Eve, both Easter Bunny's go out to hide the eggs for children all over the world, if the Missus is so up for the task after all that work that is."

"Non-stop! Won't I need to eat and drink?" Buttercup's eyes went wide, "I imagine it's pretty easy to regurgitate all your food when feeling contractions, won't I starve if I can't get anything down?"

Mrs. Easter Bunny nodded, "For some unknown reason, while laying, the need to eat and drink is mysteriously eliminated. Don't ask me, there's no explanation, it just is."

"What about sleep? Laying all those eggs, I'm sure to get tired."

"It's exhausting yes, but you won't get tired, as in when you do a lot of exercise, your body may want to stop and rest, but you'll feel wide awake the whole time, you won't necessarily feel an immediate need to sleep."

"What about the Bambii, won't he feel tired from all his work?"

"Unfortunately, yes, he won't have magical eggs inside him to continually renourish his body, so he'll still need to rest."

"So while I'm morbidly tortured by my own body 24/7, my sweetheart is going to be off napping in some cozy sleep somewhere?"

"Well, not 24/7, you do get Sundays off." Mrs. Easter Bunny explained, "Look at it as your Lenten Fasting if you observe such things. If not, yeah, it is kind of just meaningless torture."

Bambii looked away a little guiltily, "I'll still be available any time you need me, just call."

There was a moment's silence.

Then Bambii couldn't hold it back anymore. "I'm sorry. We don't make the rules for this place, they just happen. There is no shame in backing out-"

"Are you kidding?" Buttercup exclaimed, "I have never felt so amused over my existence in my entire life. The fact that such weirdness is about to become my life, this place is perfect for me!"

Mrs. Easter Bunny shook her head, once again flabbergasted by this girl's persona. Well, she'd tried. Bambii just stared at Buttercup. He'd never understand this girl. But she was cute this way though.

"So..." Buttercup said, "If I'm to lay all the eggs, then what's the point of all this big factory?"

Bambii looked at her, "Fortunately, there is more to Easter than just eggs," he explained, "Many families have many different traditions, and many families have grown to enjoy candies and goody baskets as well. Here at the Easter Bunny factory, we make the finest candy in the world." As he said this, he led her into a giant room with the most impressive candy making machinery she had ever seen. Blue, and red, and other birds fluttered here and there working on the chocolate and taffy machines and stuff making sure work got done.

"I thought you said I laid all the eggs." Buttercup said.

"Oh no," said Bambii, "These birds just work the machines, they don't actually lay any eggs, well except when they do," (Birds were weird that way) "but not the Easter Eggs or anything, they just work on the candy and goody baskets."

But Buttercup just scowled, fazed by the setup, but completely unfazed, "So plastic eggs basically."

"Oh no," Mrs. Easter Bunny assured her, "Those are laid by the Missus too. Just the goodies we put in the goody baskets come from here. Anything that comes in an egg, that comes from you. Even the plastic eggs." Buttercup's eyes went wide, "Again, don't ask me how it works, it has no logic."

"You could have told me that earlier! That's awesome! And here I was denouncing them and all things plastic, when they are just as wonderful as anything else in this place! Those like hinges on the sides, those are pretty uncomfortable laying them, aren't they?"

"You have no idea," Mrs. Easter Bunny sighed.

"Perfect," Buttercup awed. But then she turned back to the subject. "So I'm gonna assume we don't poo chocolate covered raisins or anything though, right? Yeah, that'd probably be too much. Egg Laying is just enough, more funny anyway. Only girls do it. Poo is too Universal, kinda boring."

Mrs. Easter Bunny looked at Bambii, "This is the type of girl you go for?"

Bambii just shrugged.

Buttercup looked at her Mr. Easter Bunny, at the wonderful world around them. This is the world Bambii had invited her into, this is the world he wanted to share with her, Bambii so cute and fun. She completely loved him for this.

Bambii stood on the stage at the end of the aisle.

They had spent the last few months getting stuff together, dating, making sure this was the absolute perfect fit (it was). Buttercup obviously loved that she'd actually be an epic Egg Layer, but she also really liked Bambii, and he really liked her. They NEEDED to get married, they were so just CUTE together! They just made eachother so happy just by looking at eachother, and joking, and just having fun. Ship #1!

And now it was FINALLY time for their wedding.

As Buttercup made her way up the aisle in her flowing Blue and Pink Build-a-Bear-Stuffy Wedding Dress, she looked up at Bambii in his fancy black suit with white undershirt (which was kind of weird honestly as that pretty much matched his fur color anyway). But he was so cute and abortable in that fancy little bunny suit, she just couldn't help but giggle to herself.

Once she was on stage, and Pastor Blue Bird, Blue Jr. read the vows, Buttercup looked at her future huzzy-wuzzy, oh how she loved him so much.

"Bambii, do you take this bunny to be your beloved wedded wife?" Blue Jr. asked.

"I do," Bambii said.

"And Buttercup," Blue Jr. continued, "Are you willing to take your place in the Easter Bunny family and take Bambii to be your beloved wedded husband."

Buttercup just looked at Bambii, the grin on her face growing. "I do!"

"Then I now pronounce you husband and wife." Blue Jr. said.

At that, Buttercup let out a squeal and threw herself at Bambii. "I love you! I love you! I LUV YOU!" she screamed, smothering him with cuddles.

Blue Jr. just sighed. "I didn't even say 'you can now kiss the bride' yet," he mumbled to himself, unheard over the excitement. So, sighing to himself, he just gathered his things and headed off the stage.

Finally, Bambii managed to gather himself, "Okay, okay. Where did you want to go for our honeymoon? I know we already traveled pretty far together last Easter, so..."

Buttercup finally let herself take a step back, "Actually, I joined you pretty late on your trip around the world, we can still go pretty much anywhere." She paused, "How about EASTER ISLAND."

Bambii looked at her.

Buttercup giggled, "I'm joking. You probably thought 'Not again' 'we always go there on vacations and honeymoons and stuff'. Here, I got it better. Howabout..." Buttercup stopped. She actually couldn't think of any cities with Egg Laying references in their names to be honest.

"No, Easter Island's fine." Bambii said finally, "Us Easter Bunny's actually have a pretty good traditional Honeymoon spot there. Just wanted to check with you first."

"Okay," Buttercup said, "Easter Island it is."

So that is how the new Mrs. Easter Bunny came to be part of the Easter Bunny family. She knew that pretty soon she'd get her chance to lay super epic eggs for the children of the world, but right now she was on her way to her honeymoon with her super huggy-wuggy huzzy-wuzzy, and how she loved him so right now.

She'd just have to hold off on having bunnies with him for the moment, she didn't want to spoil the moment when she actually laid her first eggs. Didn't want to be having babies left and right like any other rabbit until she experienced the epicness of Egg Laying first, that was for sure.

But with that in mind, Bambii at her side, there was sure still going to be plenty of cuddling on this honeymoon, you could count on that.

[bigbrotherben]

This is gonna be my vent/rant mega post, I'll just add whatever when it comes to me, don't read

I need to look into medication, I cannot keep living like this.

It's like I'm on a tightrope, and there's no hope for either fall.

And I've never been good with balance

Sometimes I think that if I wasn't raised Christian I would have turned out right? Like, I wouldn't be literally delusional if my parents taught me anything other than "you will always know what is right or wrong" when I was growing up I wouldn't...

I want to explain what I have, how I see the world, what makes things take so long to think about.

But I won't, because I am scared

Another trauma I can tie straight to the church, thanks for fuck all pastor Seth.

To be fair, it sounds insane, it sounds like it is a thing made up by a kid for attention.

Waking up every day knowing existence is wrong to do sucks.

I am overworked. Completely.

I wish people liked the things I made

I wish I liked the things I make

Whenever i feel like I'm a good part of something, I fuck it up. I cannot keep living like this.

Part of why my mental health is so bad is because I made a breakthrough, only to be proven wrong.

I have spent so long writing my essays and my stories and just keeping them hidden, just privately hidden someplace. Always thinking "oh I shouldn't share this people won't like it, people won't care about it."

And I have finally started a writing project that I post publicly, really putting it all on the line.

And yeah

People don't like it

People don't care about it

I should stop trying, I'm never going to be anything but some poor motherfucker, full of ideas, screaming them into the void, hoping someone will care. I cannot keep living like this.

It's dead. Of course, so I got back into roleplaying.

It's like I'm a fucking masochist, begging the world to step on my ballsack.

But instead of my testicles, it's my creative drive that pops.

I think I'm just bad, I think the problem isn't people around me not caring, I think it just sucks. I just suck.

I should quit Resonant Beats before the project is hopelessly infected with my shittiness infusion.

Honestly I think roleplaying is gonna make it worse, because it loops right back around to people not liking what I write.

I should stop being alive, it's really more hassle than it's worth.

Feel like shit, but did it, it's done, and now I know.

Don't try writing again, everyone hates it, you useless fuck.

Why don't you do it, it's practically all you think about these days, you're a non functional pile of pulsating meat that feels pain at every second. You're pathetic.

Even getting back into roleplaying proves it, people don't like what you write, they ghost you. Over and over. You are bad at writing, you are bad at talking, you have no positive qualities, you should be dead.

All you can do well these days is plan your own death, but you're too much of a non committal coward to actually do that either.

What the fuck do you do when the story leaves your intentions, when you wanted to try saying "Hey actually you can make friends and improve from where you are" accidentally turns into "no actually trying just makes it worse you should self isolate now" because like, the first one was my plan with Lagnox, learning to Love people around him healthily and forming long term relationships, learning that there's more to life then the rush of risking death. But like, that's not happening, shit's kinda just getting reinforced for him, his friends don't reach out first unless he screams and basically begs, one of them is fucking encouraging self isolation and his obsessions, to the point where I can't think of a tournament ending where he lives, and worst off he's gonna die unhappy, he now knows that there could have been more to life then what he's had, and that he'll never get it. And it's genuinely fucking with my real world emotions so much that I'm considering dropping him entirely.

Hey Ronnie if you see this, the timeline is clear, and the end is right before I left that server I've started thinking about killing myself every day again, I'll never be good enough for him, and the longer I go, the more he'll see my flaws

[xo-callitkarma]

This is a place I know too well, been down here a while, if you can't tell.

And I have analyzed and tried my best to justify the sorrow I have brought upon myself.

Am I addicted to the misery, is this how I'll always be? Grinding the salt into every wound?

Am I in love with all my ailments, glutton for punishment? You can't trust me to be there for you.

I thought I had this, I thought I had this all figured out, you’d think I'd learned from all the shit I fucking screamed about.

When there was sun I couldn't see the clouds, still climbing the walls of this well just to dive back down.

Until I reached my rock bottom, down to the marrow, bringing up the bad blood I'd forgotten.

Is it me that's making me sick? Been burning both ends of the wick.

I've got this cold black silhouette hanging like a marionette, casting a shadow, a shade over me.

Just a sick, sad, sorry mess, living like a masochist, your worst impressions were right about me.

I could ask you to stay, if you're feeling forgiving, I could live with the guilt, if you call this living.

I could try to memorize each grain of sand, as it slips through my fingers, and falls from my hands.

It took me longer than I'd care to admit; this life is only what I choose to make of it.

And the only thing standing in-between happiness and myself was this depression I held so close to my chest.

Am I addicted to the misery, is this how I'll always be? Grinding the salt into every wound?

Am I in love with all my ailments, glutton for punishment? You can't trust me to be there for you.

I've got this cold black silhouette hanging like a marionette, casting a shadow, a shade over me.

Just a sick, sad, sorry mess, living like a masochist, your worst impressions were right about me.

Wasting a waning youth, waiting for something to help me pull through.

I never saw the sun through the clouds. I lost faith when the skies were falling down.